After the Weekend
by Jillian R
Summary: New chapter, finally!
1. Back Home

Title: After the Weekend  
Author: Jillian R.  
Genre: S/V Romance/Angst  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: After an incredible weekend together, Sydney and Vaughn return to L.A. -- and the real world.  
Disclaimer: These characters belong to J.J. Abrams and ABC, but I'm willing to sue for custody of Vaughn.  
Note: This is a sequel to "The Long Weekend." I thought it would be interesting to explore how Sydney and Vaughn deal with their new relationship now that they are back in L.A. There's more fluff, but also some angst. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for reading.  
  
  
Chapter 1: "Back Home"  
  
  
Michael Vaughn unlocked the door to his condo and set his bags and skis in the entry hallway. Immediately he sensed that something was amiss. He heard the faint sound of the television in the next room and instinctively reached for his gun, which was tucked into the back of his jeans. He was just about to enter the living room, gun drawn, when he heard the jangling of dog tags and saw a little bulldog running towards him. "Donovan!" he cried with surprise. He crouched down to pet him and laughed when the dog jumped on him and licked his face. "What are you doing here?" he asked affectionately.   
  
"Hey, Mike!" Vaughn looked up to see Eric Weiss standing over him. "I knew you were coming back this afternoon, so I thought I'd bring Donovan back over and we'd wait for you."  
  
"I see you found the beer," Vaughn said with a laugh. He stood up and slapped Weiss' outstretched hand. "Thanks for taking care of him," he said with a nod to Donovan, who was still excitedly jumping up and down.  
  
"My pleasure. He's my little buddy, you know. And did you notice how nice and svelte he looks?" Weiss asked with a proud grin. Hey, you got back just in time. The Kings game is on in a few minutes, and I ordered pizza."  
  
Vaughn had to laugh at his best friend. "You've taken care of everything, huh?"  
  
"Always. So how was Tahoe? How's Peter?" Weiss asked as he and Vaughn walked over to the couch and sat down in front of the television.  
  
"Tahoe was great, and Peter's doing well. He said to tell you hello."  
  
"How many women did he pick up last week?" Weiss asked with a laugh. On the occasions when Peter had visited Vaughn in L.A., he had proven himself to be quite the ladies man.  
  
Vaughn laughed. "A lot, but not as many as he wanted to. He got called back to the office, so he had to leave on Thursday."  
  
"Oh, too bad for him. So what did you do after he left? Did you pick up the slack for him?" Weiss asked with a grin.  
  
"Come on, Eric. You know that's not my style -- anymore," he hastily added when he saw the dubious look on Weiss' face. "I just, um, hung out, went skiing, relaxed. Nothing special."  
  
"Uh huh." Weiss said disbelievingly as he studied Vaughn. Vaughn wasn't exactly the easiest guy to read, but after eight years, Weiss could tell when he was holding something back. "Did you meet someone?" he asked with interest.   
  
Yeah, you could say that, Vaughn thought to himself. Weiss' innocent questions were starting to make him sweat. He desperately wanted to tell his best friend the truth about his vacation, but he knew that he couldn't. Vaughn trusted Eric with his life, but didn't trust him with his feelings for Sydney, at least not since Weiss had betrayed his trust before he went to Taipei. Vaughn understood Weiss' actions and had long since forgiven him, but he'd also decided that the topic of Sydney was off-limits unless they were discussing her in a purely professional capacity.  
  
"Come on, man. You can tell me," Weiss cajoled.  
  
Vaughn rolled his eyes. "There's nothing to tell, Eric. I didn't meet anyone. Did you really think I would go on vacation and have a random hook-up?"  
  
"Isn't that what you're *supposed* to do on vacation?" Weiss asked with a chuckle.  
  
"No, that's what *you* would do on vacation," Vaughn said with a raised eyebrow and a knowing laugh. "Believe me, the last thing on my mind last week was meeting someone."  
  
"Yeah, I should've known. I forgot you're saving yourself for Sydney Bristow. But you might as well live a little in the meantime, Mike. You're a good-looking guy, smart, successful. You could have your pick of women instead of pining for the one you can't have, and you know it's gonna be a long time before you can make a move on her," Weiss said as he stood up. "I'm going to get another beer, you want one?"   
  
"Sure." Vaughn sighed as he leaned his head back on the sofa cushion and closed his eyes. He imagined how much Weiss freak out if he knew the truth -- that he and Sydney had already made their move on each other, several times. A smile played on his lips as he thought about Sydney. Beautiful, smart, amazing Sydney. He still couldn't believe that they had finally admitted their true feelings to each other. Amazingly, even though he had been aware of his feelings, it had taken the weekend for him to realize the true depth of them. He had struggled so hard to keep his feelings in check that he had never allowed himself to feel the full magnitude of his love for Sydney. In Lake Tahoe, however, it was as if a dam had burst, and he was finally able to admit the entire truth: he was so in love with Sydney that he could barely see straight. She had his heart in a vice grip, and probably knew it. That fact left him both scared and exhilarated. It was an amazing act of faith to put your heart in someone else's hands and trust her not to break it, but he was willing to take the risk with Sydney. Now he just had to figure out a way to balance his personal feelings for her with his professional responsibility towards her. He knew it was going to be the toughest challenge of his life.  
  
"So did I miss anything interesting at work last week?" Vaughn asked as Weiss returned from the kitchen and handed him a beer.  
  
"Nope. The coffee still sucks, Derevko is still being secretive, and Kendall's still an ass. It's almost enough to make me want to get shot again," Weiss joked. "I guess it's true what they say -- the more things change, the more they stay the same."  
  
Vaughn laughed softly and shook his head. Weiss couldn't possibly be more wrong. Over the course of one weekend, both his life and his relationship with Sydney had changed irreversibly, and he was sure that nothing would ever be the same again.  
  
*****  
  
"So I want to hear *all* about your trip." Francie said excitedly as she followed Sydney into her room. "Did you get my bottle of champagne?"  
  
"Yes," Sydney said with a laugh. "Thanks for that, by the way."  
  
"Oh, it was my pleasure. Did you find a hot guy to drink it with like I told you to?" Francie asked with a knowing laugh.  
  
The hottest, Sydney thought to herself, as she fought to suppress a smile.   
  
"No, I just drank it by myself and had my own little party," Sydney lied. She desperately wanted to tell Francie about Vaughn, but she knew that she couldn't. Francie would be full of questions that Sydney couldn't answer right now. So for the time being, she would have to pretend that she hadn't just spent the weekend with the most wonderful man on earth, which was difficult, because she wanted to shout it from the rooftops. She wanted the whole world, especially Arvin Sloane, to know that she was in love with Michael Vaughn.  
  
"Bummer," said Francie with a disappointed shrug. "You'd think there would be a lot of hot guys at a ski resort. I was hoping you'd meet someone."   
  
"Well, I still had a good time," Sydney shrugged. It was time to change the subject. "So how was *your* weekend?"   
  
"It was okay. I spent most of it at the restaurant. I had no idea how much work it takes to get a restaurant off the ground. Fortunately, Will's been a huge help. Speaking of, you didn't forget that we're going out for his birthday tomorrow night, did you?"  
  
Sydney gulped. Actually, she had forgotten. Over the past few days, she had blocked everything from her mind but Vaughn. Luckily, she had bought Will's gift weeks ago, just in case Sloane sent her on a last minute mission right before his birthday. "Tomorrow, right. Yes, we're still on," she assured Francie.  
  
"Good. I was just about to order Chinese, do you want something? Moo shoo pork and an eggroll?" she asked with a smile.  
  
Sydney grinned. "You know me too well. I'm gonna unpack, and then I'll be out in a few minutes, okay?"  
  
"Sure," said Francie as she left the room. As Sydney began to unpack, memories of the weekend came flooding back to her. Her parka reminded her of skiing with Vaughn, and how she couldn't stop staring at him as the rode the ski lift to the top of the slopes. She unpacked a sweater and remembered the romantic sleigh ride he had surprised her with, and how warm she felt snuggled up next to him despite the bitter cold. She pulled out a red dress and smiled, remembering that she hadn't actually gotten to wear it to dinner because she and Vaughn had gotten . . . distracted.  
  
Sydney glanced over at the phone next to her bed. She desperately wanted to call Vaughn and hear his voice, but she didn't want to seem overeager. She shook her head ruefully. She couldn't believe that, after everything they had been through, she was actually worried about appearing to be overeager. She couldn't help it, though. Vaughn made her feel like a teen aged girl with her first crush. She prayed that the feeling would never go away.  
  
*****  
  
Later, just as she was about to climb into bed, Sydney heard a faint ringing sound. Her heart began pounding a mile a minute as she frantically looked around her room and tried to remember where the sound was coming from. As the symbolic start of her brief vacation last Wednesday, she'd buried her CIA phone and SD-6 pager in a drawer underneath her clothes. Only now, she couldn't remember *which* drawer as she scrambled over to her dresser and listened for the sound of the ring. On the sixth ring, she finally located the phone, and pressed the talk button.   
  
"Hello?" she said breathlessly.  
  
"Hi, it's me." She didn't need to ask for further identification. "Are you alright? You sound like you just ran a marathon," Vaughn chuckled.  
  
"I'm fine," she said as a grin broke out on her face. "I just forgot where I put my phone before I left last week, and I was trying to find it."  
  
"Oh. Sorry to call you so late. I just wanted to make sure that you made it home safely."  
  
Sydney closed her eyes and happily sighed as she climbed back into bed. Vaughn was the sweetest man alive. "Yes, I'm fine. And in the words of a very amazing man, you don't ever have to apologize for calling me," she said with a smile.  
  
He laughed, and even though she only heard it through the phone line, it made her feel warm inside. "I figured you probably wouldn't be too put out. I just couldn't go to sleep without knowing that you were safe."  
  
"I am," she said softly. "Are you okay? How was your flight?"  
  
"Short and uneventful. It wasn't even long enough for me to have a decent fantasy about you."   
  
"Funny, I had *plenty* of fantasies about you during *my* flight, which I assume was the same length as yours," she teased. She reached over to turn out the light on her nightstand, then snuggled down into her bed. It was crazy, but she thought she could better picture his facial expressions in complete darkness.  
  
"What were we doing in those fantasies?" Vaughn asked, an amused expression in his voice.  
  
"Well, one of them involved the desk in Devlin's office and your gun holster . . ." her voice trailed off. "What do you suppose that was all about?" she asked innocently.  
  
"I don't know, maybe you should discuss it with Barnett." He loved joking around with her like this. "So you like the gun holster, huh?" He laughed, but his voice was low and seductive.  
  
"The gun holster," she said slowly, "is *very* sexy."  
  
"I'll store that away for future reference. Listen, I should probably go. We both have early days tomorrow."  
  
"I know," she sighed. She would have gladly stayed on the phone all night long talking to him. "Hey, now that we're back home, and things have to return to normal -- whatever that is -- can I still tell you that I love you?"  
  
"You'd better. I wouldn't want to be the only one saying it. I love you, too. Sweet dreams, Sydney."  
  
"You too," she said before she hung up the phone. She didn't have to guess what her dreams would be about tonight and every night for the foreseeable future.  
  
  
TBC . . . 


	2. A Lot

Chapter 2: "A Lot"  
  
  
On Monday morning, Sydney and Dixon were sitting in the briefing room at SD-6 catching up with each other. Dixon was telling Sydney about his daughter's soccer game that past weekend, and she beamed as he told her how Lisa had scored two goals and assisted on another. He was such a proud father and a good man. She wished for the millionth time that she could tell him the truth about who he was working for. As if on cue, Sloane walked into the room.   
  
"Good morning, you two. How were your weekends? I trust you enjoyed your time off, Sydney?"  
  
"I did, sir. Thank you again. It was just what I needed."  
  
"Did you do anything in particular?"  
  
Sydney shifted in her chair. Was he fishing for something or just making small talk? She would love to tell him that she had spent the weekend solidifying her future and plotting his downfall, but such an admission would immediately get her sent to McCullough and the psych room, so she bit her tongue. "No, I didn't do anything special. I just relaxed."  
  
"Well good. How are Diane and the kids?" Sloane asked, turning to Dixon.  
  
"Couldn't be better," Dixon said as Jack walked into the room.  
  
"I apologize for being late. Welcome back, Sydney," he said with a nod towards his daughter. She gave him a tight smile back. Things were still thawing between them since the Project Christmas revelation, but she had softened towards him considerably since he had helped save Vaughn's life. As she studied her father, she wondered how Jack would react if he knew that she had spent the weekend with Vaughn. She wanted to believe that he would approve if he knew how happy Vaughn made her, but she was more convinced that the over-protective father in him would probably first have Vaughn removed as her handler and then taken to a darkened alley and shot.  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted as Sloane cleared his throat. "Well, now that we're all here, let's get down to business."  
  
Sydney sat anxiously in her chair as Sloane began briefing them. For the first time since she had learned the truth about SD-6, she was actually hoping that Sloane would send her on a mission, for one reason only -- so she could see Vaughn. She reminded herself that each mission presented the opportunity to plan a countermission that could further weaken SD-6, but that was only a secondary concern to her. The only opportunity she cared about right now was the chance to spend some time alone with Vaughn. She should have known that once she got a taste of what it was like to be with him, she would want to spend every waking moment with him. Since that was impossible, she would simply have to grab every moment with him that she could, even if it required her to do Sloane's bidding.  
  
". . . so the two of you will be leaving for Lima tomorrow morning to retrieve Rambaldi's amulet from Juarez's safety deposit box. Any questions?"  
  
"No sir," Sydney and Dixon said in unison. After the meeting broke, Sydney made a beeline for the door but was intercepted by Jack.   
  
"I need to speak with you for a moment." He led them to an empty conference room and pulled out his signal jammer.  
  
"Dad," Sydney said with a slightly annoyed sigh, "I need to make my dead drop so I can get my countermission from Vaughn."  
  
"That can wait," Jack said tersely.  
  
No, it really can't, Sydney thought.  
  
"When was the last time you spoke with your mother?"  
  
"I don't know, about a week and a half ago, I guess. I'm sure you're happy about that. I know you want me to stay away from her."  
  
"I think you should ask her about the amulet."  
  
"Excuse me?" Sydney asked with a confused look on her face. "What makes you think that mom know anything about the amulet?"  
  
"*Irina,*" Jack said pointedly, "has sought to acquire almost every Rambaldi artifact in existence. She might be familiar enough with the amulet to decipher its text and give the CIA a leg up on SD-6."  
  
"I see. So you really just want me to stay away from mo -- *Irina* -- until its convenient for *you* and suits your purposes. Aren't you the one who keeps telling me that she can't be trusted?"  
  
"Sydney -- " Jack said reproachfully.  
  
"Fine," Sydney said softly. She knew she shouldn't be giving her father such a hard time, especially when she herself had been so inconsistent in her own attitude towards her mother. "I'll go talk to her. But I really need to go right now . I'll see you later."  
  
"Good," Jack said as his pen beeped to indicate that their time was up, anyway.  
  
*****  
  
Sydney waited as the last gate lifted before walking up to her mother's cell. Irina sat in the middle of the cell meditating, but immediately stood up when she sensed Sydney's presence.   
  
"Sydney," she breathed. "I haven't seen you in a while."  
  
Sydney studied her mother carefully. She wasn't completely sure, but Irina seemed almost disappointed that they hadn't seen each other recently. "I know. I had some time off."  
  
"Really? What did you do with that time?"  
  
"I went skiing."  
  
Irina briefly looked surprised, as if she had made a new discovery about her daughter. "I didn't know you skied."  
  
"There are a lot of things you don't know about me," Sydney said resentfully. She couldn't help getting a dig in, although she wasn't sure her words had any effect. As usual, Irina's face betrayed no emotion.  
  
"You had a good time." It was a statement rather than a question. "You look . . . different."  
  
Sydney was unnerved by the way her mother was studying her face. She straightened her back and stuck out her chin. "I don't know what you're talking about."   
  
"You look happy," Irina said thoughtfully as she stared at Sydney. "You look like a woman in love."  
  
Sydney tried to hide her shock. How could her mother, who barely knew her, read her so easily? Was it that obvious that she was in love with Vaughn? She nervously glanced up at the surveillance cameras providing a feed to the main ops center. "I don't -- "  
  
"A mother knows these things, Sydney," Irina said in a tone that bordered on patronizing.  
  
"But you haven't been much of a mother, have you?" Sydney snapped. The last thing she was going to do was discuss her love life with her mother, especially when she didn't know who might be watching their conversation. "Look," she said, with a shake of her head, "I didn't come here to discuss me. Sloane is sending me to Lima to retrieve an amulet currently in the possession of a man named Ramon Juarez. It was designed by Rambaldi; are you at all familiar with it?"  
  
"That amulet actually used to be in my possession. Juarez is a Rambaldi collector. I sold him the amulet when I realized that it was worthless. It's nothing more than a piece of jewelry that Rambaldi designed for Pope Alexander the Sixth. The fact that Arvin isn't already aware of that tells me that he hasn't been doing his homework. I expected more from him," she said with a withering smile.   
  
"Sloane's been distracted lately," Sydney frowned. She couldn't help but notice the familiar way that her mother referred to Sloane by his first name. "So you're telling me that he's sending me to retrieve something that's going to be of absolutely no use to SD-6. Are you sure, because we can't afford to let SD-6 get any intel that we don't have."  
  
"We, as in the CIA?" Irina asked with a raised eyebrow. "Yes, I'm sure."   
  
"Okay. Well, thank you."  
  
"You're welcome. Don't be such a stranger," Irina said with a cool smile before Sydney turned to leave. "Oh, and Sydney -- "  
  
Sydney turned around to look back at her mother. "Yes?"  
  
"Do tell Mr. Vaughn I said hello."  
  
*****  
  
Vaughn's heartbeat quickened as he heard the familiar click of Sydney's heels on the floor of the warehouse. He had been counting the minutes until this meeting ever since Sydney's brown paper bag had been delivered to his office. He always looked forward to meeting with her, but today he was also a bit nervous. He wasn't sure what their first post-Tahoe meeting would be like. He hopped down from the table he was sitting on as Sydney opened the gate and walked towards him. His breath caught in his throat as he took note of the way that her suit hugged her figure. He tried to push those thoughts from his mind, but he knew his efforts were futile.  
  
"Hi," he said as she walked up to him.  
  
"Hi." They awkwardly smiled at each other, both unsure whether they should kiss like lovers, hug like friends, or shake hands like colleagues. They were both acutely aware that all the rules had changed between them, and they were both feeling uneasy about it. After a few more moments of awkward silence, Vaughn sat back on the table and Sydney hopped up next to him. He felt a surge of electricity run though his body as her leg brushed against his. All he wanted to do at that moment was take her in his arms and make love to her for hours. He cleared his throat and reminded himself that he had a job to do and that he couldn't afford to be having such thoughts about her right now.  
  
"So, uh, we got the details of your mission, and -- "  
  
"There's no countermission," Sydney said, cutting him off.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Vaughn asked, confused.  
  
"Earlier, my dad suggested that I talk to my mother, to ask her if she knew anything about the amulet I'm supposed to retrieve. As it turns out, the amulet is just a piece of jewelry; it doesn't have a function. Apparently Sloane doesn't know that yet. So I'm just going to get it and let him discover on his own that it's worthless."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I was going to send you a message so you wouldn't have to waste your time coming here, but I didn't because . . . because I wanted to see you. Sorry," she said with an apologetic smile.  
  
Vaughn laughed. "No apology necessary. Actually, I would have been really disappointed if we hadn't met. I've been looking forward to seeing you all day," he admitted. "But I'm surprised that Sloane doesn't know that the amulet is useless to him. It's not like him to be so uninformed," he frowned.  
  
"I know. But I'm not complaining. That's just one less victory for SD-6."  
  
"Yeah," Vaughn nodded. "I just hate to think of you going on a pointless mission." His eyes were clouded with concern and he was starting to get the adorable forehead wrinkles that Sydney had gotten so used to. She hated for him to spend so much time worrying about her, but at the same time, it made her feel so protected and loved. She knew that he would do anything to keep her safe.  
  
She placed her hand on his cheek and turned his head to her. "Hey, it's not a big deal," she assured him. "I'll be careful, I promise."  
  
"Good," he said, letting himself relax a bit. "Well, since there's no countermission, I guess we can cut this short, huh?" he asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes.  
  
"Oh, no way, Agent Vaughn. I'm sure we can find some other way to pass the time," she said suggestively as she let her hand softly stroke his thigh.  
  
"I'm sure," Vaughn said smiling at her. He couldn't believe how intoxicated he was by her. She had the ability to completely rob him of all rational thought.  
  
"Really?" Sydney asked, surprised. "I was sure that by now you'd be giving me a lecture about how we have to remain professional."  
  
"I would, if it weren't for the fact that I've really missed you and that I desperately want to kiss you right now," Vaughn said, looking at her intently. His voice was low and intense and it sent a thrill through Sydney as the heat of his green eyes practically burned her skin.  
  
"It's not like you have to ask permission," she said softly as she slid off the table and stood in front of him. She laughed as she noticed for the first time that his jacket was off and he had his gun holster on. "Was this for my benefit?"  
  
"Yeah," he admitted with a sexy, lopsided grin. She didn't think she had ever seen him look more gorgeous. "It was hard to sleep without you last night," he whispered as his lips brushed her ear.  
  
Any self control Sydney had was lost as she slipped her hands through the straps of the holster and pulled Vaughn closer to her. She looked longingly into his eyes before she began to kiss him slowly and deeply. His lips were warm and sweet, and Sydney could feel her whole body melting into his as he pulled her closer and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. After a few moments, his hands began restlessly exploring her body, and she could almost feel the fireworks exploding everywhere he touched her. Sydney moved her hands to his face, cupping it as their kiss intensified. She was starting to feel lightheaded until she gently pulled away and caught her breath.   
  
"God, Sydney," Vaughn rasped, trying to catch his own breath, "where did you learn how to kiss like that?"  
  
"I can't tell you all of my secrets just yet," she said, smiling as she nuzzled his neck.  
  
"Spoken like a true spy," he laughed. "One day, I'm going to find out *all* your secrets, and then I'm going to use them against you," he teased.  
  
"I can hardly wait," she murmured, tracing his lips with her right index finger. "So, how hard was it to readjust to being back at work today?"  
  
"It wasn't that bad, although there was a mountain of paperwork on my desk to greet me. But just when I thought I couldn't read another report or sign another order, I got your paper bag, and my day got a lot better."  
  
Sydney laughed. "Those paper bags . . . remember what a hard time I gave you when you first went through our s.o.p? I was so mean to you," she said, cringing at the memory.  
  
"Oh, I don't know. It was probably a little obnoxious of me to show you what a paper bag looked like. Those first couple of weeks, I thought we were going to end up strangling each other. ÊI wasn't sure what to make of you yet, and I was a little nervous about handling my first double agent. It was just my luck to end up with an agent who was incredibly willful and headstrong, and impossibly gorgeous, to boot. It made it hard to think sometimes. It still does," he said, stroking her cheek and grinning at her.  
  
"You've acquitted yourself quite nicely, Agent Vaughn," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. Seriously, I can't imagine how different things would be if I hadn't been assigned to you. I probably would have quit the CIA a couple of weeks after I started. I know I gave you a hard time at first, but even then I knew that I needed you. That's why I freaked out when they reassigned me to Lambert."  
  
"Lambert," Vaughn scoffed. "What an ass." Vaughn remembered the way Lambert had leered at Sydney's picture, and felt his blood pressure rise a few points. "But if it hadn't been for Lambert, you never would have realized how wonderful I was and gotten me my promotion. So things didn't turn out half bad, after all," he smiled at her.  
  
"Ooh, that's right. I *did* get you that promotion, didn't I?" she said, her eyes twinkling. "Come to think of it, you've never adequately thanked me for that, have you?"  
  
He laughed. "Okay, what do you want? Just name it; I'll give you anything."  
  
"Are you sure that's a promise you want to make?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"For you? Absolutely."  
  
"Okay. Promise me that when this is all over, you'll whisk me away to some deserted island where we can be all alone for weeks."  
  
"Done."  
  
"Just like that? Is it always going to be this easy to get whatever I want from you?" she grinned.  
  
"Probably," he laughed. "It's hard for me to say no to you, Sydney."  
  
She just stared at him and smiled. She was certain that she had never loved anyone so much in her life. She wished that she could put this moment on "pause" and feel this way forever. Even though they were in the dark, dank and depressing warehouse, she had never felt happier. If only she could block out the rest of the world and keep it from spoiling their happiness.  
  
"Syd, what are you thinking about?" he asked, snapping her back into reality.  
  
"Oh, you know, just how nice it is to be standing here with you like this. Two weeks ago, we were still playing the protocol game, you on one side of the table, me on the other. I'm glad we finally stopped pretending. I need at least one thing in my life that's just simple and honest -- well, honest, anyway." They both knew there was nothing simple about their relationship, at least not as long as SD-6 continued to exist.  
  
Vaughn nodded. "It was killing me not to tell you how I felt, even though it was probably written all over my face. I know that Weiss knew, and Haladki, and probably your dad, too. Did he suspect that anything was different about you today?"  
  
"No, but get this -- my mom did."  
  
"Really? What did she say?"  
  
"When I went to go ask her about the amulet, she just kept staring at me. Finally, she told me that I looked happy, like I was in love."  
  
"Well, she may be diabolically evil, but your mom's a smart woman. She was right, wasn't she?"  
  
"Of course, she was right. It's just weird, the way that she can read me like an open book. ÊIt's actually kind of scary. I want to believe that she's trying to help me, but I can't help feeling like she's eventually going to twist a knife in my back, you know?"  
  
Vaughn nodded his head. He shared Sydney's fears. Irina had provided them with valuable intel, but he still didn't trust her as far as he could throw her. Moreover, he knew that he hadn't yet begun to deal with his feelings about working with the woman who killed his father. He had been so focused on Sydney's reaction to Irina's reappearance that he had pushed his own feelings to the background. But now that he and Sydney had dared to let themselves imagine a future together, he knew that he would have to come to terms with his own emotions. However, that wasn't what worried him the most about Irina. What he was most apprehensive about was Irina's interest in his and Sydney's relationship. He wanted to believe that she was only concerned about Sydney's happiness, but she didn't strike him as the maternal type. He wouldn't put it past her to use their relationship against them, and he had to be prepared if that day ever came to pass.  
  
"Enough talk about my mother, though," Sydney said, interrupting his thoughts. "The last thing I want to do when I'm alone with you is think about her." Her fingers played in his hair. "Do you have plans for tonight?"  
  
"A Monday night?" he laughed. "Yeah, I have a hot date -- with Donovan."  
  
"Lucky dog," she smiled.  
  
"Well, not *that* lucky. He's gonna have to share me with the Steelers, the Jets, and a memo about homeland security. What about you, do you have plans?"  
  
"Actually, I do. It's Will's birthday and Francie and I are taking him out to dinner." She glanced at her watch. "Actually, I should probably get going. I need to go home and change," she said reluctantly.  
  
Vaughn loosened his grip on her waist. "I didn't know it was Will's birthday. Wish him a happy one for me."  
  
"I will. I love him, but I'd rather stay here with you," she said sadly. This was so wrong, she thought. She should be able to take Vaughn to dinner, and hold his hand in public, and not hide their relationship. She should be able to go back to his place and wake up with him in the morning. Instead, she was going to wake up alone and then catch a flight to Peru.  
  
"Actually, it's a good thing you're leaving now, because if you stayed, I probably wouldn't be able to control myself for much longer. I've got to work on that, seriously. We shouldn't be doing this," he sighed, his fingers softly stroking her hair.  
  
Sydney threw her head back and grimaced at the ceiling. "Here comes the lecture. I knew it was coming eventually."  
  
"There's no lecture, Syd. We both know that I'm right. We can't keep taking chances like this. I swept for bugs before you arrived, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we're safe."  
  
"I know, I know," she sighed. "This is going to be even harder than I thought it would be, because I just want to kiss you every time I see you. I can't help it; you're just so damned irresistible," she giggled, leaning in for another kiss.  
  
"Mmm, so are you . . . that's why it's time for you to go," he said, laughingly pushing her away. "Besides, you don't want to keep Will and Francie waiting."  
  
"They would understand," she protested as he turned her around and gently nudged her toward the gate. "Fine, I'm leaving," she grumbled as she turned around to grab her bag.   
  
She was just about to walk out though the gate when Vaughn grabbed her from behind and pulled her back to him. "Hey, two things before you go. First, have a safe trip and call me as soon as you get back. Second, the answer is 'a lot,'" he whispered in her ear.  
  
She smiled quizzically. "Um, did I miss something? What was the question?"  
  
"It'll make sense later," he said as he kissed her on the cheek. "Have a good time tonight."  
  
"I will," she said, still confused. "I'll see you soon."   
  
*****  
  
As Sydney opened the door to her home, she was still trying to decipher the meaning of Vaughn's cryptic statement.  
  
Francie was all smiles as she looked up from the couch. "Syd, you're home, finally! Hey, remember yesterday when we were talking about your trip? Are you sure there's nothing you want to tell me about it?" she asked.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Sydney asked suspiciously.  
  
"Those came for you," Francie said, nodding towards the kitchen counter.  
  
Sydney gasped as she saw the huge flower arrangement sitting on the counter, a vibrant bouquet of red roses, pink gerbera daisies, stargazer lilies, snapdragons, and delphinium.   
  
"Spill it, Syd. Who are they from?" Francie asked excitedly. "It's taken every ounce of restraint I've had not to read the card," she laughed.  
  
"Wow, they're from my dad," Sydney lied as she snatched the envelope from the arrangement and slipped it into her suit pocket. "Wasn't that sweet of him? I think he's been worried about me because I've been working so hard lately. Listen, I'm going to go change quickly, before we leave, okay?"  
  
"Okay, but hurry. Will should be here any minute."  
  
As soon as Sydney closed the door to her room, she tore open the envelope and read the card. She quickly remembered the words that Vaughn had whispered right before she left him, and grinned as she read the card.   
  
All it took was six words to make her understand: "How much do I adore you?"  
  
  
TBC . . . 


	3. Irises

Note: I didn't write this chapter based on any spoilers, but being the spoiler-ho that I am, I realized that part of the conversation that Weiss and Vaughn have in this chapter might seem a little spoilery. (Is that a word?) I just wanted to provide fair warning to those of you who are unspoiled, but I promise that any similarity to what might happen in a future episode is purely coincidental. As always, thanks for reading!  
  
  
Chapter 3: "Irises"  
  
  
  
Vaughn had just returned from a jog and was removing a bottle of water from the refrigerator when his cellphone rang.   
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Vaughn?" he heard a loud whisper. "It's me."  
  
"Sydney, hi. I thought you were at dinner with Francie and Will."  
  
"I am, but I snuck outside for a few minutes. I told them I had to make a call to the bank."  
  
"Is everything okay?" he asked, leaning back against the kitchen counter.  
  
"What? Yes, everything's fine. I just . . . I wanted to thank you for the flowers. They were gorgeous. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw them."   
  
"I'm glad you liked them. I bet you had a hard time explaining them to Francie, huh?" he asked with a grin in his voice.  
  
"Yeah," she laughed. "I told her they were from my father, but she was sure that they were from some guy I met in Lake Tahoe."  
  
"Well she was right. I just wanted you to know how much last weekend meant to me. I wanted you to know how much *you* mean to me."  
  
"I do," she said softly. She could feel a lump forming in her throat. Ever since she had known him, Vaughn had done one amazing thing after another for her. She felt as if she hadn't done nearly enough to show him how much he meant to her, but she swore to herself that she would find a way to do just that.   
  
"I should probably go back inside before Francie and Will start to worry about me," she said reluctantly. "Vaughn, I love you. I just wanted to call and tell you that."  
  
"I love you, too, Syd. Please be careful in Peru," he urged her.  
  
"I will. I'll see you when I get back."  
  
"Okay. Bye."  
  
Sydney felt as if she was floating on air as she walked back into the restaurant and rejoined Francie and Will. It was amazing how the mere sound of Vaughn's voice could make her feel so happy.  
  
"Is everything okay at the bank?" Francie asked.   
  
"Yes," Sydney smiled. "Things are great."  
  
Will looked at Sydney quizzically. He assumed that her call had something to do with either SD-6 or the CIA, but if so, why was she smiling so much?  
  
"You seem like you're in a really good mood, Syd," he said, studying her closely for any kind of reaction.  
  
"Of course I'm in a good mood, Will. It's your birthday and I'm here with my two best friends. Why wouldn't I be in a good mood?" she asked, giving him another dimpled smile.  
  
"Not to mention that she just got back from Lake Tahoe and got a *huge* bouquet of flowers today," Francie interjected. "Who wouldn't be in a good mood after that?"  
  
"Someone sent you flowers?" Will asked.  
  
"It's not what you think," Sydney said as a blush started to rise in her cheeks. "They were just from my dad."  
  
"So she says," Francie laughed, giving Will a knowing look. "But I'm convinced that she met someone in Tahoe, and she's not telling us."  
  
Sydney rolled her eyes. "I didn't meet anyone, Fran. You just have an overactive imagination."   
  
"Whatever, Syd. It's okay, you don't have to tell us all about your romantic weekend in Tahoe with a mysterious stranger," Francie said with a tone of mock hurt in her voice.  
  
Sydney just shook her head and fought another smile as she looked down at her plate.  
  
Will watched her closely. He could definitely tell that something was up with her. She might be a supersecret spy, but she couldn't disguise the fact that she was blushing and smiling a lot more than usual. Was it possible that she *did* meet someone on her trip? And if so, why was she being so secretive about it, he wondered. Will's journalistic curiosity was starting to get the better of him. He knew Sydney probably wouldn't tell him what was going on, so he was going to have to do a little investigating. He had a feeling that he knew just where to start.  
  
*****  
  
On Tuesday afternoon, Vaughn looked up from his computer as Weiss entered his office.  
  
"Hey. How did things go with Barnett?" he asked with concern.  
  
"Fabulously," Weiss said sarcastically. "First we talked about my childhood growing up at the orphanage. Then we discussed the trauma I feel every morning when I go to the break room and discover that all the jelly doughnuts are gone. It got pretty heavy. She held my hand while I cried."  
  
Vaughn rolled his eyes. "You're such a funny guy, Eric. I'm sure Barnett is thrilled that she gets to spend so much time with the CIA's resident wiseass."  
  
"Alright, we didn't really talk about jelly doughnuts, but we might as well have. I don't understand why I still have to see her. I got shot, not tortured. I'm pretty sure that I'm not suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder."  
  
"Maybe they have you seeing Barnett because they've finally realized that you're mentally disturbed," Vaughn smirked.  
  
"Oh, look who's the funny guy now," Weiss said as he sat in the chair in front of Vaughn's desk and nodded towards his computer. "So what are you working on?"  
  
"I'm writing a preliminary report on Sydney's mission in Peru."  
  
"Isn't she still *on* that mission?" Weiss asked, confused.  
  
"Yeah, but there was no countermission because the Rambaldi artifact Sloane sent her after doesn't have any value to us."  
  
"How do you know that?"  
  
"Based on intel Derevko gave us."  
  
"And you trust that?" Weiss scoffed. "How do we know Derevko isn't lying?"  
  
"Well, so far, all the intel that she's given us has been accurate. There's no reason to think she's lying about this. I doubt that she'd rather see information in Sloane's hands than ours."  
  
"So you trust her?" Weiss asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Hell no. If she gives us intel, we're gonna use it, but I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. I still have a lot of questions, and there are too many things that don't add up right now."  
  
"Like what?" Weiss asked with interest.  
  
"Well, first of all, why did she turn herself into the CIA instead of the FBI? Kendall and the FBI are in charge of her case, but she walked into *our* offices. Also, why did she turn herself in into our office instead of going to Langley? And it's a little too convenient that a couple of months after she turned herself into the CIA, Sark strikes up a partnership with Sloane and the Alliance."  
  
"You don't think that's just a happy coincidence?" Weiss asked with a wry laugh.  
  
"Hardly. For some reason the words 'trojan horse' keep echoing in my head." Vaughn said with a laugh of his own. "I'm really glad that you're back, because I haven't had anyone to discuss this with."  
  
"Why can't you discuss it with Jack Bristow?"  
  
"Are you kidding me? After Madagascar, I'm not sure that I trust his judgment where Derevko is concerned. I'd go to him with my suspicions, but I'm afraid he might find something else to blow up."  
  
Weiss shook his head and chuckled. "Yeah, how crazy of him. It's amazing the lengths that some men will go to for Sydney Bristow, huh?"  
  
Vaughn looked at his friend with a look of exasperation. He knew from the tone of Weiss' voice what he was getting at "Eric, please don't start --"  
  
"No, I'm just saying that she's lucky that she has two men in her life that would do anything for her, no matter the cost. Look man, I know that in the last year I've been all over your back about your relationship with Sydney, but maybe I was wrong. I used to think you were crazy for being so emotionally attached to her until I realized that it wasn't exactly one-sided."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Vaughn asked, his heart skipping a beat.  
  
"It's just that when you were missing after Taipei, I saw how much she cares about you. She was frantic to find you, and she was pissed that she wasn't part of the team sent to search for you. When I told her that she had to go on her SD-6 mission instead of going back to Taipei, I thought she was going to kick my ass," he laughed. "Plus, you know, since I've been back at work, I've heard gossip about the way that she reacted when she found out that you were infected with that virus. It's obvious that you're not the only one with an emotional attachment, here," Weiss finished with a shrug.   
  
Vaughn swallowed hard. Even though he worried about Sydney all the time, Vaughn hadn't considered the possibility that she worried just as much about him. He wasn't sure whether he should be happy about that or whether he should be alarmed that it was so obvious to Weiss and other people in the agency.   
  
"So this is the part where you give me the big protocol lecture, right?" Vaughn asked warily.  
  
"Nope. Not anymore. The two of you are lucky that you found each other. Actually, I'm kind of jealous. I don't have anyone in my life like that, and I wish I did."  
  
"Is this the effect that Barnett has on you?" Vaughn teased. "All of a sudden, you're getting all soft and introspective on me?"  
  
Weiss laughed. "Hey, I'm *not* getting soft; introspective, maybe. Laying in a bed all day long for weeks will do that to a guy." He took a deep breath. "I just had a lot of time to think, and one of the things that I realized is that I've never really been in love. I've never known what it's like to care about someone so much that you would do anything for them. I could have died without ever knowing what that feels like."  
  
"Hey, you'll have that one day." Vaughn said reassuringly. He was surprised to hear the things that Weiss was saying. He had been convinced that Eric would be a bachelor forever, hanging out in bars with Peter while they both oggled woman after woman. Discovering out that Eric actually wanted to fall in love shocked him, but when he thought about all the wonderful things that loving Sydney brought to his life, he realized that he wanted his best friend to feel those things too. He deserved it.  
  
"Yeah. Maybe one day, but I think you have it now," he said looking at Vaughn meaningfully. "Look, I'm not going to tell you to go for it with Sydney, but I'm not going to tell you not to, either. Not that it would matter *what* I told you, would it?" he laughed.  
  
Vaughn turned his head and looked away from Weiss. Now probably wasn't the right time, but he decided that soon, he's tell Weiss the truth about him and Sydney.   
  
"No, it wouldn't matter what you said. But I'm being careful, Eric. I won't let any feelings that I have for Sydney get in the way of my job -- or yours. I swear."  
  
Weiss could tell that Vaughn meant those words. "I know you won't, man. I know."  
  
*****  
  
A couple of days after she returned from Lima, Sydney found herself perusing the galleries of the J. Paul Getty Museum. She occasionally stopped to study a few pieces of art in case she was being watched, but she was mostly preoccupied with trying to find Vaughn. As she entered yet another gallery, she finally saw him standing in front of a painting. She smiled at the thought that even in a museum filled with priceless works of art, nothing had caught her interest the way that Vaughn did. She casually walked up next to him as if she was also studying the painting in front of them. Luckily, there were few other people in the gallery at 10:30 on a Friday morning.  
  
"Hi," he said in a low voice.  
  
"Hi. I didn't realize you were such a cultural guy, Vaughn," she teased. "This is an interesting place for a meet."  
  
"I like art," he shrugged. She looked over and saw a smile on his face. "Besides, I thought it would be better if we met in public, so we could behave ourselves."  
  
"Yeah, you're probably right," she said, turning her head back to the painting. "So what's up? Sloane hasn't given me a new mission yet. Were you that desperate to see me?" she asked with a sly grin.  
  
"I *always* want to see you Syd," he said, smiling again when he saw the smile on her own face. "But that wasn't why I set up a meet. Has the amulet come back from SD-6 analysis yet? Does Sloane know that it's worthless?"  
  
"Not that I know of, but I'm not sure he'd tell us even if he did. Why?"  
  
"I was talking to your father the other day while you were in Lima. He told me that Sloane's been concerned lately about SD-6's performance."  
  
"What do you mean?" she asked, a note of alarm in her voice.  
  
"He told your father that he's worried that the Alliance will take note of SD-6's recent failures, particularly the failure to acquire the terrahertz wave camera, the formula for zero-point energy that was encoded in Rambaldi's music box, and the bible to your mother's organization."  
  
"Those were all ops that I worked, Vaughn. Do you think he suspects me?"  
  
"No. Your dad didn't suggest that he does. But it wouldn't take much for Sloane to put two and two together, and finding out that the amulet is worthless isn't going to make him any happier. So I think that for the next few weeks or so, we're going to lay low, and not give you any countermissions."  
  
"What?" Sydney said, glancing over at Vaughn with a shocked expression on her face. Vaughn, we can't just let SD-6 acquire everything it wants."  
  
"I know, but we need to be careful, Sydney. We can't afford to arouse Sloane's suspicions right now. I'm pretty sure you don't want to deal with McCullough and Dreyer again, do you? If there's another mole hunt, and you're a prime suspect once again, I doubt that Sloane's going to think that it's just a coincidence."  
  
Sydney exhaled sharply. She knew that Vaughn was right, but the thought of handing over intel to SD-6 rather than the CIA made her sick.   
  
"Listen, I know you don't want to give SD-6 anything that the CIA doesn't have," Vaughn said, as if reading her mind, "but it's better than the alternative."  
  
"Yeah, I know you're right. I just . . . I hate the idea of SD-6 having any success at all. Sometimes it just seems like we're never going to take them down."  
  
"Sydney, we will. We just have to be smart and patient in the way that we go about it. I know it's hard."  
  
"Not just for me," she said looking over at him. "I know it's hard for you, too. You don't have to pretend that it's not, just to make me feel better," she said softly.  
  
"Yes, it's hard," he admitted, "but we'll cope."   
  
"Yeah, we will," she said, trying to convince herself.  
  
They stood in silence for a few moments, each lost in their own thoughts about the task ahead of them until Sydney broke the silence.  
  
"So are you really into art?" she asked, a disbelieving note in her voice.  
  
"A little. I mean, I don't love it like I love hockey, but when I was growing up, my mom used to love going to museums, and I guess that's how I developed an appreciation for it. But I enjoy it more on an aesthetic level than an intellectual one," he shrugged. "I took an art history class in college, but only because I thought it would be an easy A, and there were a lot of girls in the class."  
  
They both laughed. Sydney loved discovering all these new things about him. "So what do you know about this one?" she asked, gesturing to the beautiful purple flowers in front of them.  
  
"It's Van Gogh's 'Irises.' He painted it while he was in an asylum. He got the idea from looking at the flowers in the asylum's garden. It's rather appropriate for us, huh?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, Van Gogh went to the asylum because he thought he was going crazy, but while he was there, he kept painting, and out of the madness came something beautiful, this painting. It just reminds me of our lives. Everything around us is crazy -- SD-6, the CIA, your parents -- but in spite of all of that, we managed to find each other."  
  
"We found our something beautiful," Sydney said, understanding him.  
  
"Exactly," he smiled at her. "Listen, I hate to go, but I need to get back to the office. I have a briefing with Devlin that I need to prepare for."  
  
"Okay," she nodded. "I'm going to stick around here for a while. I think I've just been inspired to learn more about art," she said with a grin.  
  
Vaughn laughed. "Okay. Be prepared for a pop quiz the next time we see each other." He turned to go, subtly letting his hand brush against hers as he left.  
  
*****  
  
On Monday afternoon, Sydney was sitting at a desk in the joint ops center, impatiently waiting for Kendall.  
  
"Hey, Sydney. What are you doing here?" she heard a booming voice behind her.  
  
"Weiss! I haven't seen you since you came back to work. How are you?" she asked with a smile as she stood up to greet him.  
  
"I'm great, thanks for asking. Were you supposed to meet with Vaughn? Because he's back in his office at headquarters."   
  
"No. Actually, Kendall called me. He wants to talk to me, presumably about my mother. Of course, as soon as I got here, I found out that he's in a meeting, so now I'm waiting, and I'm not that thrilled about it." she laughed.  
  
"Yeah, it's just like Kendall not to care about anyone else's time," Weiss nodded.  
  
"So are you feeling okay?" Sydney asked with concern. "I feel awful knowing that if it hadn't been for my mother, you never would have gotten shot."  
  
"Sydney, come on. That's not your fault. You're certainly not responsible for your mother's actions."  
  
"I know, I just feel like it sometimes. She's somehow managed to hurt almost everyone that I know in one way or another."  
  
"Maybe," Weiss shrugged. "But I hear that she's been pretty cooperative so far."  
  
"Yes, she has -- so far. And if it weren't for her intel, Vaughn would probably be dead right now, so I'm grateful to her for that, although she's the reason he was exposed to the virus in the first place," Sydney said with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Well, all that matters is that he's okay now, thanks to you. He's lucky that he has you."  
  
Sydney blinked in disbelief.  
  
"What?" Weiss asked, noticing her shocked expression.   
  
"Nothing. I guess I'm just surprised to hear you, of all people, say that."  
  
Weiss laughed. "Yeah, I know, but I'm not blind. I can see that there's something between you two, and as I told Mike, I've decided to stop being the Protocol Police."  
  
"Really?" Sydney smiled. "What's gotten into you Weiss?"  
  
"Nothing. Really," he laughed as she raised an eyebrow. "I'm just trying to be a good friend."  
  
"Well, I'm sure Vaughn appreciates that -- as do I," she added in a low voice. Suddenly an idea popped into her head.  
  
"Hey, do you want to back up your words with actions? 'Cause I could use a favor . . ." she smiled.  
  
  
  
TBC . . . 


	4. Time and Mistletoe

Chapter 4: "Time and Mistletoe"  
  
  
The following Friday morning, Vaughn was reading a report when Weiss walked up to the desk he was sitting at. "Hey, Mike."  
  
"Hey," Vaughn said, not looking up from the report.  
  
"Come on, whatever you're reading can't be *that* fascinating." Weiss chuckled.  
  
"Sorry," Vaughn said, finally looking up at Weiss. "I'm just trying to get everything wrapped up here before I leave." It was the Friday before Christmas, and an unusually social and festive atmosphere had pervaded the joint ops center. Vaughn half expected to see Kendall walking through the rotunda in a Santa outfit, passing out gifts.  
  
"You still leaving on Sunday morning?" Weiss asked, though he already knew the answer.  
  
"Yeah." Instead of spending Christmas in France with his mother's family, as he had for the past few years, he was going to Pennsylvania to spend the holidays with his father's family. "Wat about you? When are you leaving to go to Chicago?"  
  
"Monday night."  
  
"Waiting till the last minute, huh?" Vaughn grinned.  
  
"You know it. I love my family, but my sister's house is going to be a zoo. Don't be shocked if you call and find out that I've checked into a hotel."  
  
"Yeah, right," Vaughn smirked. "You know you can't wait to give piggyback rides to all your nieces and nephews. They just love their Uncle Eric."  
  
"They'd better! I've practically gone broke buying presents for all those little rugrats." Weiss said with a mock grumble. "So listen, you don't have plans for tonight do you?"  
  
"Other than packing, no," Vaughn shook his head. He and Sydney had agreed to meet at the warehouse on Saturday night before he left, so his night was free.  
  
"Good. You're hanging out with me tonight."  
  
"I am?" Vaughn asked with a raised eyebrow and an amused tone in his voice. "What are we doing?"  
  
"Well, I figured we'd have a few drinks, watch the Lakers game, maybe play some pool . . ."  
  
"Sounds fun. What time are you coming over?"  
"Oh, we're not doing it at your place."  
  
"We're not?" Vaughn asked, confused. "Eric, you don't have a pool table at your place. Are we going to Joe's?" he asked, referring to their favorite sports bar.  
  
"No," Weiss said quickly. "Actually, I rented a place near Santa Barbara for the weekend. I thought we'd hang out there."  
  
"You want me to drive all the way to Santa Barbara?" Vaughn asked incredulously. "Tonight?"  
  
"Yeah, what's wrong with that?" Weiss asked innocently. "You can come up, spend the night and drive back tomorrow. It'll be fun."  
  
"I don't know, Eric, I have a lot of stuff to do before I leave," Vaughn said uncertainly.  
  
"Mike, come on. You have to come. Your neighbors are taking care of Donovan, so you don't have an excuse."  
  
Vaughn couldn't help but notice how adamant Weiss was. "Why do I *have* to come?"  
  
"Because this is our last chance to hang out until 2003, and we haven't spent that much time together, what with my recovery and all."  
  
Vaughn couldn't help but be impressed by Weiss' resort to the guilt trip. "Okay," he sighed, "I'll come."  
  
"Great," Weiss smiled as he reached into his pocket. He handed Vaughn a sheet with directions and a key. "Come over around eight," he said.  
  
"Why do I need a key?" Vaughn asked, making a face.  
  
"In case you get there before I do. I'll probably go pick up some food and drinks. If I'm not there, just let yourself in," he said over his shoulder as he left Vaughn's desk.  
  
Vaughn sat back in his chair and shook his head as he watched Weiss' retreating figure. He could tell that Weiss was up to something, and he couldn't wait to find out what is was.  
  
*****  
  
A few minutes after 8:00, Vaughn pulled into the driveway of a large house overlooking the Pacific ocean. He glanced around his surroundings to make sure that nothing looked suspicious. When he was satisfied that nothing appeared out of the ordinary, he got out of his car and walked up the path to the front door of the house. He rang the doorbell, and after waiting for a few moments with no answer, he used the key that Weiss had given him and opened the door.  
  
"Eric?" he called as he walked through the dark foyer. He had just turned down a hallway to his left, towards what he presumed to be the living room, when he felt a warm body slip behind his own, and a pair of arms wrap tightly around his waist. Due to his CIA training, his first inclination was to subdue his attacker. But just this once, he was perfectly content to be attacked.  
  
"Syd?" he asked with a knowing laugh.  
  
"Don't be mad," she softly pleaded in his ear, "but there was no way I was going to let you leave for a week without seeing you first."  
  
He took each of her hands in his own, brought them to his lips, and kissed them. "Didn't we make plans to see each other tomorrow?" he asked, turning his head so he could see her face.  
  
"That was just subterfuge so you wouldn't figure out the surprise," she laughed. "I wanted us to meet somewhere nicer than the warehouse."  
  
"What, the warehouse isn't romantic enough for you?" he teased. "Are we safe here?" he asked, as an afterthought.  
  
"Yes. Weiss and I took every precaution known to man. I guess you've figured out by now that he was in on this," she grinned.  
  
"How sneaky of you, Agent Bristow. I don't even want to know how you convinced him to help you plan this. Are you trying to get us both fired?" he joked.  
  
Oh, relax. I talked to Weiss the other day. He all but told me to jump you."  
  
"I doubt that he told you that, Syd," Vaughn laughed.  
  
"Okay, maybe I embellished a bit. Actually, he told me that we were lucky to have each other, and I have to say that I agree," she murmured as she began to softly kiss his neck.  
  
"Um, so do I," he breathed as the feel of Sydney's lips on his skin caused a shudder to run through his body.  
  
"Merry Christmas, Vaughn," she whispered in his ear.  
  
He released her hands from his and turned around to face her. He placed his hands on her hips as he brought his face down to hers and softly brushed her lips with his own. He moved her backwards until she was pressed against the wall, and then his lips dove into hers, kissing her so hungrily that it took her breath away. It had been a few weeks since he had last kissed her, and she'd almost forgotten how amazing he could make her feel. She pulled him closer to her as they continued to explore each others' mouths, making up for lost time with each successive kiss. Finally, when they were both almost completely out of breath, Vaughn pulled back and looked deeply into her eyes. Then he gave her one of his dazzlingly sexy smiles and took her breath away all over again.  
  
"Merry Christmas to you too."  
  
"Wow," she exhaled slowly. "I've missed that so much."  
  
"Me too," he smiled.   
  
She longed to kiss him again, but instead, she took his hand and led him into the living room. "Make yourself comfortable," she said as she went into the kitchen, which opened into the living room. He took off his jacket and immediately gravitated to the large glass doors that overlooked both a shimmering pool and the dark ocean. "Wow, this place is amazing. How did you find it?" he asked.  
  
"It belongs to some old family friends," she answered as she returned to the living room with two glasses of red wine. She handed one to him and stood next to him. "My dad and I used to come visit them when I was home from boarding school, and I loved it. Anyway, the Griffiths are back east for the holidays, and I offered to housesit for a few days," she said with a smile.  
  
"How magnanimous of you," he teased, "offering to spend a few days at the beach."  
  
"You're just jealous, although I don't know why. The beach isn't exactly Christmasy, the way that Pennsylvania snow is."  
  
"Yeah. It's hard to get in the Christmas spirit when it's 70 degrees and sunny outside. It's so much easier when you're freezing your ass off," he laughed as he took her hand and led her over to the couch. He sat down and pulled her down between him and the end of the couch. He lifted her legs so that they were draped across his lap. She leaned her back against the couch and smiled at him. She was so happy that she had managed to snag some quality time alone with him before he left.   
  
"So what are you going to do for Christmas?" Vaughn asked as he softly stroked her bare legs.  
  
"I don't know, yet," she said with a sigh as she ran her finger around the edge of her wine glass. "When I was in college, it seemed like my dad was always gone during the holidays, so I always spent them with Francie and her family. It's tradition, but now that my dad and I have gotten closer, I feel like I should spend Christmas with him. Then again, things are still kind of awkward between us after the whole Project Christmas thing," she said with a hint of sadness in her voice. She was staring off into the distance, and Vaughn's heart grew heavy. He knew how much Sydney was still hurt by that revelation, and he wished that he could take away all her pain.  
  
"Things are even *more* complicated this year, because of my mother," she continued. "I mean, do I go visit her on Christmas day or not? Do I give her a gift? And exactly what kind of gift is appropriate for the woman who lied to and betrayed your father, abandoned you and faked her death, and killed the father of the man you love? God, my life sounds like a really bad movie of the week," she said with a bitter laugh.  
  
When she tore her attention away from the far wall and looked back at Vaughn, she felt horrible. He was looking down at his lap as if he didn't know what to say to her.   
  
"Oh Vaughn, god, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't be going on about my mother this way. I'm sure she's the last thing you want to think about right now."   
  
Sydney cursed herself for mentioning her mother. Irina was possibly the only topic in the world that Sydney felt she couldn't discuss with Vaughn. Her feelings about her mother were so complicated, especially since their trip to Kashmir. Sydney had realized then that she was actually starting to care about her mother, in spite of all the horrible things Irina had done in her past. At the same time, she knew that her mother was responsible for ripping Vaughn's life apart, and she had no idea how to reconcile those conflicting feelings. She was starting to feel like she wanted her mother to be a presence in her life again, but she was the same woman who eliminated Vaughn's father as a presence in *his* life. Even though he hid it well, Sydney knew that deep inside Vaughn, there was an eight year old boy who missed his father. Why should she be able to have her mother back with he could never have his father back? And how could she possibly let herself care for the woman who had caused so much pain to the person who meant more to her than anyone else in the world?  
  
"Syd, it's okay," Vaughn said, taking her free hand in his and squeezing it.  
  
"Vaughn," she said firmly, "You don't have to do that. You always act like it's no big deal when I talk about my mother, but I know that it's a very big deal for you. You don't have to spare my feelings, you know. I want you to be able to talk to me about anything, even if it's hard for you."  
  
Vaughn looked down at his and Sydney's intertwined fingers. He knew that she meant what she was saying, but he wasn't sure it was a good idea for them to discuss her mother right now. Actually, he wasn't even sure if he *could* talk about Irina. He knew that he hadn't yet worked through his feelings about his father's killer. As usual, he had pushed his feelings into the back of his mind and told himself that he would work through his issues later. That had been an semi-effective strategy until Irina turned herself into the CIA. It had become much harder since then, especially after his first few encounters with her. Now that he and Sydney were together, however, it was becoming almost impossible to avoid dealing with his emotions. He had managed so far, but he knew that he couldn't avoid them for much longer, and he was afraid of the impact it might have on his relationship with Sydney. Eventually they would have to have a serious discussion about Irina, but now wasn't the time or the place, he thought. Sydney had gone to so much trouble to steal an evening alone for them, and he wasn't going to ruin the mood by talking about her mother.  
  
He sighed. "Syd, one day we'll talk about your mother, I promise. Just not tonight, okay? But I'll admit that she's part of the reason I'm going to Pennsylvania."  
  
"Really? How so?" Sydney asked, her eyes wide with interest.  
  
"Well, normally, my mom and I spend Christmas in France, with her family. But since your mother's been in custody, I've found myself thinking a lot about my father, and I thought it would be nice to spend the holidays with his family. I usually only see them once a year, in the summer, but I should really spend more time with them."  
  
"I bet they're great people, the same way your dad must have been," she said softly.  
  
"Yeah, they are," he said with a smile. "They're a lot of fun, especially crazy Aunt Trish."  
  
"She's your dad's sister, right?"  
  
He nodded. "I know I make her sound like a total wack job, but she's actually a really sweet woman. All three of her children were girls, so she always treated me like the son she never had, even more so after dad died."  
  
Sydney smiled at him. "Tell me about all your relatives who are going to be in Pennsylvania."  
  
"Are you serious?" Vaughn asked. "There are a lot of them, I wouldn't want to bore you."  
  
"You could never bore me, Vaughn. Seriously, I want to hear all about them. I never knew my mom's family, and my father's only brother died when they were young. Other than my grandparents, I never really had any family to speak of, so I'm jealous that you come from a big family on both sides. If you tell me about them, I can live vicariously through you," she grinned as she shifted positions so she could curl up next to him.  
  
For the next half hour, Vaughn told Sydney all about his grandparents, his two uncles and three aunts, all his cousins, and their spouses and children. He told her funny stories about family reunions and summer vacations, and she enjoyed every minute of it. Every new story added another piece to the wonderful puzzle that was Michael Vaughn, and she loved learning more about him.  
  
" . . . so that's pretty much everyone who's going to be there. I can't believe you're not asleep yet," he finished with a dimpled smile.   
  
"I told you I wanted to hear all about them. Now tell me all about your mom's side of the family."  
  
"Let's save that for another time. If I start telling you about all my crazy French relatives, we'll still be here on Christmas day," he laughed. "Although that wouldn't be a bad thing. I hate the thought of going off to be with my family, while you're here trying to figure out how to deal with yours. I almost wish I could stay, in case you need someone to talk to."  
  
"Vaughn, that's sweet, but I wouldn't hear of it," she said, shaking her head vehemently. "Seriously, I'll be fine. It's not like you and I could spend time together even if you did stay. Besides, even though we can't be together on Christmas, I'll be happy knowing that you're surrounded by all the people that you love, and all the people who love you," she said, wrapping her arms around him.  
  
"All of them except one," he said as he kissed her forehead. "I wish that I could take you to Pennsylvania with me and introduce you to my family. They would love you."  
  
She looked up at him and smiled. "I'll get to meet them one day," she assured him. "I already can't wait to meet Aunt Trish. Does she have any pictures of you naked from when you were a kid? Because she sounds like the kind of woman who would dig them out and show them to me," she grinned.  
  
He grimaced at the thought. "I'm sure she does. I'm gonna find them and burn them this week," he laughed. "Or maybe I'll threaten to withhold her gift until she hands over every incriminating photo she has."  
  
"Speaking of gifts!" Sydney exclaimed. She quickly hopped up from the couch, and disappeared from the living room for a few minutes. When she walked back into the room, she was carrying a long, thin object in one hand, and a small, wrapped box in the other.  
  
"Sydney, what is all of this?" Vaughn asked as he stood up. "You didn't have to get me anything."  
  
"Of course I did, Vaughn," she said with mock exasperation. "*It's Christmas.* Did you honestly think that I wouldn't get you a gift?"  
  
"Actually that looks like two gifts," he teased.  
  
"Well, yeah. I owe you one for last year, since you got me one but I didn't give you one," she explained. "Besides, you can never buy too many gifts for the man you love, right?"  
  
"Yeah, I guess that's true," he laughed. "I just feel bad, though. My gift for you is back in L.A., since I wasn't planning on seeing you until tomorrow night."  
  
"Oh, that's fine," she said, with a wave of her hand. "You can give it to me later. But for now," she said, as she sat back down on the couch and pulled him down next to her, "you have to open yours."  
  
"Okay," he said, laughing at her business-like tone. She first handed him the long, thin present, which was in the obvious shape of a hockey stick. "Hmm, I wonder what *this* could be," he teased. "How the hell did you manage to wrap this thing, Sydney?"  
  
She laughed, "Believe me, I've been on missions that less complicated. To think that I went to all the trouble of wrapping something that you're never going to use."  
  
"What are you talking about?" he asked, glancing at her as he started to unwrap it. "Of course, I'll use it. In fact, I might take it to Pennsylvania with me."  
  
"Uh, I don't think you're gonna want to use that to play hockey," she said with a raised eyebrow. Once he removed the wrapping paper, he understood why. She smiled when she saw his stunned expression.  
  
"Sydney! *Where* did you get this?" he asked as he inspected the hockey stick. It was imprinted with the Los Angeles Kings logo, and was autographed by every member of the team and coaching staff.  
  
"I guess I don't have to ask whether you like it. Your face is lit up like a little kid's," she laughed. "A few months ago, I went to a charity event with Francie, and this was one of the items they had for sale in a silent auction," she explained. "As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to get it for you."  
  
"A few months ago?" he asked incredulously. "But, that was before we even – "  
  
"I know," she said softly. "But I knew that it was the perfect gift. I would have given it to you even if we were still pretending to be just friends."  
  
"Syd, this could not have been cheap," he said with a knowing smile.  
  
"It wasn't," she admitted, "but it was worth every penny to see your face just now. Plus, I'm pretty sure that I just vaulted into first place in the Michael Vaughn Best Girlfriend Ever standings," she grinned.  
  
"Definitely. Well, you were already there, but this solidifies your standing," he said before giving her a kiss on the forehead. "I can't get over this gift. I'm not sure anything could ever top this."  
  
"I've set a high standard for myself, huh?" she nodded. She turned and picked up the smaller gift that rested on the couch next to her and held it in her hands for a minute. "Okay, this gift probably won't excite you as much, but I hope it'll mean as much to you," she said as she handed it to him. She bit her lip apprehensively. She was nervous about giving this to him, and had been ever since she bought it.  
  
He unwrapped the box and opened it, pulling out a watch case. He opened it and saw a beautiful titanium watch with an iridescent, light blue face.  
  
Sydney took a deep breath and looked down at her fidgety hands. "Remember that day when you told me about your dad's watch? I'll *always* remember that, because that was probably the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me. I think every girl secretly wishes that a guy would tell her that his heart stopped the day he met her. But later, I was thinking about how the watch stopped, and I know it sounds crazy, but I don't think it was a coincidence. it's like time stood still for us, which is funny, because now it seems like time is our enemy. Neither of us knows how long it's going to take for SD-6 to be destroyed, and all we can do in the meantime is wait."  
  
She took another deep breath and continued. "I didn't want to give you this to replace your father's watch, because I know it's irreplaceable. But I wanted you to have something from me that would be with you all the time, and it's also a symbolic way to tell you that I'm counting the minutes until SD-6 is gone and you and I are free to be together." She finally raised her eyes to look at him, almost afraid of the expression she might find on his face.  
  
Vaughn was speechless as he removed the watch from the case. It was gorgeous, just like the woman sitting next to him. As he held the watch, Sydney put her right hand over his and turned the watch over. On the back was an engraved inscription: "I'll love you until the end of time. SB"  
  
Vaughn gazed at her intently. "Syd, I don't even know what to say." There were so many things that he wanted to say to her, but he wasn't sure that he could express any of them coherently. In his entire life, no one had ever come close to making him feel the way that he felt right now. He knew at that moment that he would willingly do anything in the world for Sydney. "I couldn't even *begin* to tell you how in love I am with you right now," he smiled.  
  
She smiled back at him, a smile that radiated pure love and happiness. "Really? I was kind of scared to give you the watch."  
  
"Why?" he asked, astonished. "Sydney, this is the best gift that anyone has ever given me. The hockey stick doesn't even come close. Every time I look at this watch, I'm going to think about you, and us, and the future that we're both fighting for."  
  
"I hope so, because that's all I want in the world." She leaned in to kiss him and silently prayed that time would be on their side.  
  
*****  
  
An hour later, Sydney smiled at Vaughn as he dried the last plate in the sink. They had enjoyed a romantic candlelit dinner, and afterwards, Vaughn had insisted on doing the dishes. Sydney disappeared for a few moments, but was now sitting on the kitchen counter, watching him.  
  
"You know, this whole process could've gone a lot faster, if you had let me help, Vaughn. Maybe then you would have spent more time actually cleaning up and less time kissing me," she grinned.  
  
"But where's the fun in that?" he asked with raised eyebrow. "Besides, I wasn't about to let you clean up after you made that incredible dinner."  
  
Sydney glanced away. "I have a confession to make . . . I didn't really cook dinner -- it was take out. I was going to tell you, but you kept going on and on about how delicious it was, and I couldn't bring myself to shatter the illusion," she said with an embarrassed laugh. "Now you know my secret – I'm a great spy, but a horrible chef."  
  
She stared at him as he started to laugh. "Vaughn, why are you laughing?"  
  
"Because I knew that there was no way you cooked that dinner, Syd," he said with a smirk. "I kept telling you how great it was to see if you were going to confess to ordering it."  
  
She opened her mouth in shock and then laughed. "How did you know?"  
  
"Well, the fact that the kitchen was spotless was a pretty good indication."  
  
"Yeah, I guess so," she said with a smile. "I just can't get one over on you, can I?"  
  
"Nope I don't even know why you try," he said as he took her hand and pulled her down from the counter.  
  
"Well, I *did* manage to trick you into coming here tonight," she said as she turned out the light in the kitchen and led him down a hall.  
  
"With Weiss' help," he corrected her.  
  
"Well, yeah, but it was my idea. All he did was give you the directions and the key," she smiled as she stopped at a closed door.  
  
"What's behind door number three?" he joked, tilting his head towards the door.  
  
"Wouldn't you like to know?" she said in a sultry voice. "My skills in the kitchen may not be great, but I do pretty well in other parts of the house."   
  
"You don't have to convince me," he said as he pulled her closer and nuzzled her neck. "From what I remember, you do pretty well in hotel rooms, too."  
  
She smiled as she remembered their time in Lake Tahoe. It had been weeks since then, and she had been able to think of little else. Now she finally had Vaughn alone again, and all she could think about was how much she had missed the feel of his bare skin against hers.  
  
"I'm not sure you're ready for what's in this room, Vaughn" she said with mock concern as she stood with her back to the door and her hand on the doorknob. "I'm just warning you because I'm not sure you can handle it."  
  
"I'm sure I can handle it. I know for sure that I can handle *you*," he said in a low, seductive voice. He was giving her a sexy, confident grin and it was all she could do not to take him right there in the hallway.  
  
"Fine," she replied with a grin of her own, as she opened the door, "but don't say I didn't warn you. I won't be held responsible if you're too tired to get on that plane Sunday morning."  
  
When he stepped into the room, the first thing Vaughn noticed was that there were candles everywhere, giving the room a soft, romantic glow. The second thing he became aware of was that Sydney was kissing him feverishly, as if she couldn't get enough of him – not that he was complaining. Within a matter of seconds, she had pulled his sweater and t-shirt over his head and tossed them to the floor. Then she began kissing him in earnest, on his chest, his shoulders, his neck, seemingly everywhere that there was a bare patch of skin. Vaughn was barely conscious of anything other than the feel of her lips on his skin, but he somehow managed to unbutton the shirt she was wearing and slip it off her shoulders. He was unzipping her skirt when she brought her lips back to his mouth. She was an amazing kisser, and the combined effect of her tongue in his mouth, and her hands undoing his pants was leaving him breathless.  
  
"Syd, you're amazing," he moaned softly.   
  
"So are you," she murmured before diving back in for another kiss. He placed his hands on either side of her head, and broke their kiss.  
  
"Hey, look at me for a second," he whispered.  
  
"No, I can't," she laughed softly. "I have to keep kissing you."  
  
"Why?" he asked, wondering what had gotten into her. He knew that Sydney could be aggressive, but this was a bit much, even for her.  
  
"Because," she answered simply.  
  
They were standing next to the bed, and Sydney gently pushed Vaughn's shoulders until he sank down on the bed. She slowly straddled his lap and pushed him back further until he was laying flat on his back. She was just about to start kissing him again when she heard him burst into laughter.  
  
She raised her head slightly and looked at him. He had the most gorgeous smile on his face, causing her to smile as well.   
  
"What's so funny?" she asked innocently.  
  
"That," he said, gasping for air and pointing at the ceiling. Almost every inch of the ceiling was covered with dangling green plants. "How do you suppose that mistletoe forest sprouted on the ceiling?" he asked teasingly.  
  
Sydney glanced upwards and feigned surprise. "I simply can't *imagine* how that happened," she said with a huge dimpled grin. "But you'd better believe that I'm going to take advantage of it."   
  
As she brought her lips back down to his, he knew that she meant it.  
  
*****  
  
"I wish we could spend all our time together like this," Sydney sighed happily as she lay back in Vaughn's arms.  
  
"What? Naked?" he joked as he leaned against the headboard and kissed the top of her head.  
  
"No," she said as she playfully swatted him on the arm that was draped over her shoulder. "I meant, happy and peaceful and calm."  
  
"Yeah, I do wish it could always be like this," he smiled. "This is perfect."  
  
"*Almost* perfect," she corrected him. "You know what would make it *truly* perfect?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"That container of ice cream that's in the freezer," she grinned.  
  
"And I suppose you want me to get that for you," he laughed.   
  
"Would you please?" she asked sweetly.  
  
"Sure, I'll be back in a minute." He rose from behind her and kissed her cheek quickly before leaving the room. As soon as he left the bed, she instantly missed the warmth of his body, and regretted sending him on the ice cream expedition.  
  
"We're going to have to do something about your addiction to chocolate," she heard him call as he walked to the kitchen.  
  
"It's not nearly as bad as my addiction to you," she laughed. That was true. Her craving for chocolate couldn't get her killed the way that her craving for Vaughn could. A few more nights like this with him, and she wouldn't give a second thought to risking everything to be with him.  
  
Vaughn walked back into the room, with a pint of Rocky Road and a spoon. However, she barely noticed the ice cream in his left hand as she stared at the small, rectangular box in his right hand.  
  
"Syd," he said, trying to catch her attention with his outstretched hand, "here's your ice cream."  
  
"Thanks," she said absently, as she took it from him and felt him climb back in bed behind her. She turned around to look over her shoulder and smiled at him suspiciously. "Vaughn, what is that in your hand?"  
  
"This?" he asked, innocently, waving the gift in front of her face. "Just a little something I found in the freezer. Maybe Santa left it."  
  
"Vaughn," she said slowly, trying to hide the excitement in her voice, "is that for me?"  
  
"Maybe," he shrugged. "What are you willing to do to find out?" he asked with a devilish glint in his eyes.  
  
"Whatever it takes," she said as she set the ice cream on the nightstand and turned to face him. Ice cream was no longer her top priority.  
  
  
"There's no card attached, but I already got my gifts, so this one *must* be for you."  
  
She laughingly snatched the gift from his hands. She was about to open the shiny silver wrapping paper when she suddenly stopped. "Wait a minute. Seriously, where did this come from? You told me that my gift was back in L.A."  
  
"I lied. I had it in my jacket when I got here."  
  
"For you to have had this in your pocket means that you must have known you were meeting me tonight," she said, piecing things together. "Did Weiss blab to you about my surprise?"  
  
"No," Vaughn laughed. "He didn't have to. Sydney, Weiss may work for the CIA, but he's the worst liar in the world. As soon as he came to me and told me that I had to come to Santa Barbara *tonight*, I knew that something was going on. It didn't take too much deductive reasoning to figure out that it probably had something to do with you. Next time you conspire against me, you should use someone other than Weiss to do it," he smiled.  
  
"So you weren't surprised at all!" She shook her head disbelievingly.  
  
"Well, no, but I'm not complaining. I'm just a hard guy to surprise," he shrugged.  
  
She looked at him dubiously. She was definitely going to test that theory later. "So this whole time, you've actually had my gift, and you've been holding out on me?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"I plead the Fifth," he smiled. "Um, are you going to keep looking at me threateningly, or are you going to open it?"  
  
"You're right. I can kill you later," she laughed as she unwrapped the gift. Inside was a slim, black, rectangular box. She looked at him questioningly, and when he nodded back at her, she raised the top of the box and gasped. Inside, was a white gold chain, and hanging from it was a square drop pendant with four small princess cut diamonds.  
  
"Vaughn, oh my god. It's beautiful."  
  
"I thought so too. It's simple and elegant, just like you. I thought of you as soon as I saw it," he said as he removed it from the jewelry box and undid the clasp. He reached forward and fastened it around her neck, then leaned back to admired her. "Gorgeous. The necklace is nice too," he added with a smile.  
  
She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "Vaughn, thank you. I couldn't love anything or anyone more."  
  
"Remember that while I'm gone next week," he said as he leaned in again and kissed her gently. "Merry Christmas, Syd."  
  
"Merry Christmas, Vaughn."  
  
  
TBC . . . 


	5. Irina's Plan

Note: I just wanted to thank everyone who's read this so far, especially those of you who have sent reviews. I'm overwhelmed by how nice you guys are. I'm so glad that you're enjoying it. Have a safe and happy holiday season, everyone!  
  
  
Chapter 5: "Irina's Plan"  
  
  
Sydney walked through the rotunda of the joint ops center, marveling at how quiet and still the room was. Normally, it was a hotbed of activity, filled with the sounds of conversation, ringing phones, and whirring fax machines. But today, on Christmas Eve, only a few employees sat at their desks monitoring computers and satellite feeds. Although she knew Vaughn wasn't there, Sydney couldn't help but crane her neck to glance at his desk. Just the mere sight of something that reminded her of him caused her to smile as she headed through the doors that led to the detention facility. She showed her identification badge to the guard and waited for the gates to lift before walking up to her mother's cell. Irina was sitting on her cot reading a book, until she looked up and saw her daughter.  
  
"Sydney," she said with a pleased expression as she walked over to the glass that separated them. "I wasn't expecting to see you today."  
  
"I know, but I felt like I should come to visit you. Tomorrow is Christmas," she explained, unsure of whether Irina was aware of the date. After weeks of incarceration, Sydney imagined that the days simply blurred together for her mother.  
  
"I know," Irina smiled. "For the last few days, I've heard several of the guards talking about their children's Christmas presents. It reminds me of when you were five," she said, with a far-away look in her eyes. "All you talked about for weeks leading up to Christmas was this doll you wanted, Suzy something-or-other," she laughed softly. "Your father and I drove all over town trying to find that doll, until we finally gave up and bought you a bicycle instead. That was the last Christmas I spent with you," she said sadly.  
  
Sydney swallowed to fight the lump in her throat, and looked down at the floor. She couldn't remember much about that Christmas. Had she known that it would be her last with her mother, she would have tried to preserve every memory that she could. Ironically, after her hypnotherapy session with Agent Kerr, her memory of the first Christmas after her mother "died" was all too fresh, and for the past two months, "Christmas" had had a very loaded double meaning for her. She couldn't help but wonder how different her childhood would have been if her mother hadn't left. Would her father still have used her as a guinea pig for Project Christmas?  
  
Sydney shook her head. "I don't remember the Suzy doll, but I remember going with you and dad to pick out a Christmas tree. Dad thought he had found this perfect little tree, but you insisted on getting the biggest one there," she smiled as the memory came back to her. "I remember watching the two of you argue about it, but then you kissed him, and he gave in." When she looked at her mother, she could see that she was also remembering the tree incident. "Did you -- " her voice broke slightly, "did you know then that that was going be your last Christmas with me and Dad?"  
  
"No," Irina said in a voice barely above a whisper. "I had no idea. If I had known . . ." her voice trailed off as she cast her eyes downward. "If I had known, I would have done whatever it took to get you that doll."  
  
Sydney could feel the tears welling in her eyes, and she blinked to keep them from falling. When Irina looked back up at her, Sydney realized that she had tears in her eyes, too. "It was just a doll," Sydney shrugged, with a slight smile.  
  
"It seems so much more significant than that now," Irina said solemnly. As she studied her daughter closely, her eyes came to rest on the diamond pendant hanging from her neck. "That's a beautiful necklace, Sydney. I don't think I've ever seen you wear it before."  
  
She watched with rapt attention as Sydney reached down and fingered the necklace with a secretive smile. It looked to her as if her daughter was recalling a special memory, and she couldn't help but be intrigued.  
  
"It's new. It was a gift," Sydney explained. She hadn't taken the necklace off for even a moment since Vaughn had given it to her, even though it had opened her up to all kinds of questioning from Francie and Will. She'd told them that it was her Christmas gift to herself, but she knew that they hadn't believed her. Francie had remembered the flowers that arrived at their apartment after Sydney returned from Lake Tahoe, and was convinced that the necklace had come from the same source.  
  
"A gift from your father?" Irina asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
A look of surprise flickered across Sydney's face. "No," she answered quickly -- too quickly to escape Irina's notice.  
  
"Oh. It must have been a gift from a friend. Perhaps a friend who's really *more* than a friend?" Irina asked with a knowing smile.  
  
Sydney glanced away from her mother's watchful gaze. It was obvious that her mother was referring to Vaughn. For the life of her, she couldn't figure out how her mother had so easily picked up on their feelings for each other. Were she and Vaughn really that obvious, or was her mother just incredibly perceptive?  
  
"Perhaps," she said, deciding not to elaborate any further. Even though the ops center was virtually empty, she was all too aware of the security cameras trained on her mother's cell. She had no idea whether the surveillance footage was recorded over or archived, but the last thing she needed was a taped confession of her feelings for Vaughn. She knew that he had already been forced to explain last year's picture frame to Dr. Barnett. If the CIA found out that he had given her a *diamond necklace* this year, he'd be removed as her handler before he even got back from Pennsylvania.  
  
Yet, in spite all the consequences that could result from doing so, she desperately wished that she could tell her mother about Vaughn. She knew that it would be incredibly foolish to tell her mother something so personal, but at the same time, she felt like a teenaged girl who wanted to tell her mother all about the incredibly cute boy with whom she had fallen in love. She suddenly wanted to make up for all the mother-daughter conversations they had never gotten to have, but more than anything, she simply wanted her mother to reassure her that everything would work out with Vaughn.  
  
"Your friend has impeccable taste in both jewelry and women," Irina smiled before growing serious. "There's nothing more important than being with the person you love, Sydney. ÊWhatever you do, whatever happens, remember that," she said meaningfully. "Don't ever let anyone stand in the way of that."  
  
"I won't," Sydney said, her voice full of resolve. She understood that her mother was telling her to hold on to Vaughn at all costs, and she had every intention of doing just that. She shook her head and smiled. She never would have dreamt two months ago that she'd be accepting romantic advice from her traitorous mother. Then again, two months ago, she also never would have dreamt that she and Vaughn would be together. A lot could happen in two months, apparently. She snapped out of her reverie and prepared to leave.  
  
"I know it may not feel like one, but Merry Christmas, mom."  
  
"You too, Sydney. Merry Christmas," Irina said before she sadly watched Sydney turn and walk away.  
  
*****  
  
"Do you have somewhere important to be, Mike?"  
  
"Huh?" Vaughn's mind had been a million miles away until his cousin Gary's amused voice snapped him back to attention.  
  
"You keep staring at your watch, like you're waiting for an opportunity to make a run for it. Don't worry, we still have a few hours before Aunt Elaine tries to force her fruitcake on us," Gary said with a chuckle.  
  
Vaughn couldn't help but laugh himself. It was 2:45 in the morning, and he and Gary were up late, watching SportsCenter and catching up with each other.  
  
"Got a hot date at three in the morning?" Gary asked with raised eyebrows.  
  
"Not even," Vaughn said as he sank further into the couch and ran his fingers through his hair. "I was just waiting for the right time to go sneak under the tree and find all my presents. Do you remember when we used to do that when we were kids?"  
  
"Yeah, and then we'd argue over who got the biggest presents."  
  
"We used to argue over *everything* - who had the best bike, who was the better hockey player, who had the hotter girlfriend - we were a real couple of jackasses." Vaughn laughed.  
  
"One of us still is," Gary laughed, ducking as Vaughn tossed a sofa pillow at him.  
  
"And yet, Melissa's going to marry you anyway," Vaughn smirked.  
  
"I know. Can you believe it?"  
  
"Actually, no, I can't. You can hardly commit to what to eat for breakfast." Vaughn chuckled.  
  
"Trust me, no one was more shocked than I was when I decided to pop the question. But when it's right, it's right, you know?"  
  
"Yeah, I know," Vaughn nodded, as he thought about himself and Sydney. What they had together was definitely right, even though SD-6 and the CIA would likely beg to differ.  
  
"Yeah, right" Gary scoffed. "Exactly *how* would you know, Mike? You know, Aunt Catherine always said that you'd be the last of us to get married - if you ever did."  
  
"What?" Vaughn asked, shocked to be hearing this for the first time. He couldn't believe that of his 13 cousins, he had been pegged the least likely to settle down.  
  
"Yep. She said you'd work those green eyes and dimples for everything they were worth," Gary laughed.  
  
"I have *not* done that," Vaughn said, indignantly. Since he had graduated from law school and joined the CIA, he'd only had three serious girlfriends and precious little time for casual dating. No one could accuse him of being a swinging bachelor. Moreover, he had barely noticed another woman since the day he met Sydney.  
  
"Oh, calm down, Mikey. We all know you're too much of a workaholic to be Cassanova. It's obvious to all of us that you're *really* married to your job."  
  
Vaughn couldn't really argue that point. He had always been ambitious and focused on his career, but since he met Sydney, it had become even harder to separate his job from his personal life. She completely occupied both of those spheres, he acknowledged as he glanced down once again at the watch Sydney had given him for Christmas. When he saw that it was a couple of minutes before 3:00, he faked a yawn and stood up.  
  
"Hey man, I'm gonna call it a night," he said as he walked past his insomniac cousin and patted him on the shoulder. "I'll see you in the morning."  
  
Vaughn walked upstairs to one of the guest bedrooms. He reached into the pocket of his jeans, pulled out his cellphone, and dialed Sydney's number.  
  
On the fourth ring, she picked up the phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey Syd, it's me."  
  
"Vaughn!" He could hear the happiness in her voice, and it made his heart swell. "I can't believe you called."  
  
"I just wanted to be the first person to wish you a Merry Christmas *on* Christmas day, which officially, it now is."  
  
"You are so amazing, Vaughn. Merry Christmas to you too. Hasn't it *been* Christmas for three hours where you are, though?" she laughed.  
  
"Yeah, but I'm still on West Coast time."  
  
"After three days?" she asked disbelievingly. "I don't think so. You stayed up late just so you could call me, didn't you?"  
  
"Nothing gets by you, Sydney, does it?" Even thousands of miles away, she could put a grin on his face.  
  
"Nope. How's Pennsylvania?"  
  
"Good, so far. Everyone's gathering at my grandparents' house tomorrow for the big family celebration. It's gonna be a madhouse, but it should be fun. Have you decided what you're doing yet?"  
  
"I'm going over to Francie's parents' house for a while, and then I'm going to spend the rest of the day with my dad."  
  
"Really?" Vaughn asked with surprise.  
  
"Yeah. I didn't want him to spend Christmas alone. It'll be fine," she said reassuringly.  
  
"Good. I know he'll be happy to spend time alone with you. Even though he may have a hard time expressing it, he really loves you, Sydney."   
  
"I know. I love him too. I just wish I could spend Christmas with *both* of the men I love," she said wistfully. "Can't you just imagine sitting next to the Christmas tree drinking egg nog with my dad?"   
  
"Not exactly," Vaughn laughed. "Do you have New Year's plans yet?"  
  
"Does a date with Dick Clark count?" she asked with a laugh. "What are the chances that that I could ring in the New Year with you?"  
  
"Maybe better than you think."  
  
"Really?" she asked hopefully. She had half been expecting a lecture on the impracticality of them sneaking away to be together for New Year's.  
  
"I might have a little plan in mind," he said teasingly. "We'll see what happens."  
  
"I guess we will," she said lightly, trying not to let him know how much she desperately wanted to spend New Year's Eve with him.  
  
"Now we'll both have something to look forward to when I get back," he smiled.  
  
*****  
Irina paced back and forth in her cell, as she waited impatiently. It was December 30th, and she had decided it was time to put her plan into motion. She stopped pacing as she heard footsteps approaching her cell.  
  
"You requested to see me, Ms. Derevko?"  
  
Irina turned around to see Agent Kendall standing across from her. He wore his usual smug expression, which was almost enough to make her change her mind about everything. She hated dealing with this arrogant man, but she knew she had no choice.  
  
"Yes, I did ask to speak with you Agent Kendall. I have some information that I thought might be helpful to the SD-6 operation."  
  
Kendall crossed his arms and stared at her challengingly. "And you're just going to *volunteer* this information out of the blue? I find that very hard to believe."  
  
"I'm doing this to help my daughter. She wants to bring down SD-6 and the Alliance, and my former organization has information that could help her do that."  
  
"What kind of information?" Kendall asked suspiciously.  
  
"Information about all of the Alliance partners, as well as information about each section's operations, bank accounts, employees . . ." her voice trailed off. "Information that will be highly useful to Sydney -- and the CIA," she added, as an afterthought.  
  
"Why didn't you tell us about this earlier?"  
  
"Because I wasn't ready to put all my cards on the table."  
  
"And now you are?"  
  
"Of course not, Agent Kendall," she said with a knowing smile. "But now that Sark has formed this . . . partnership with Arvin Sloane, I'd prefer that the information be in the CIA's possession."  
  
"Where is this information stored?"  
  
"On 12 CD-ROM discs located in a vault."  
  
"Where's the vault?" Kendall asked impatiently.  
  
Irina looked directly into his eyes. "I'll only tell you if you agree to two conditions."  
  
Kendall laughed condescendingly. "Ms. Derevko, do I need to remind you that you are in United States custody? You don't get to make demands, and you don't get to impose conditions on your cooperation."  
  
"Then *you* don't get any more information from me," she responded simply as she turned her back to him.  
  
Kendall simply stared at her for a few moments. "Ms. Derevko," he barked. She turned around and lifted her eyes expectantly.  
  
"Yes, Agent Kendall?" she asked solicitously.  
  
"I suppose I should at least ask you what these conditions are before I say no to them."  
  
She resisted the urge to smile. This man was so easy to manipulate. "First, I want Sydney to be the agent who retrieves the discs."  
  
"You can't dictate which agent is assigned to carry out a mission."  
  
"There won't *be* a mission to speak of if you don't send my daughter," Irina said firmly. "Agent Kendall, this information could be so important to what Sydney is doing. I don't trust anyone with those discs but her and Agent Vaughn."  
  
"Vaughn? What does he have to do with this?"  
  
"That's my second condition, that Agent Vaughn be sent with Sydney on this mission."  
  
"Why do you care if Agent Vaughn assists Agent Bristow?" Kendall asked with a furrowed brow.  
  
"The vault is located in a warehouse with incredibly tight security, and gaining access to the facility could be very dangerous. I need to know that Sydney will be safe, with someone that she trusts, someone who will protect her. Agent Vaughn is the only person I trust to ensure that she'll be safe." Her pleading tone was simply for Kendall's benefit. She knew that he'd already sent Vaughn on more than one mission with her daughter. However, she also knew that he might be stubborn enough not to send Vaughn just to spite her. She didn't want to overplay her hand, but it was crucial that Sydney and Vaughn go on this mission together.  
  
Kendall clenched his jaw and scrutinized Irina carefully. "Fine. I'll send Agents Vaughn and Bristow to retrieve those discs." He raised his index finger and pointed at her. "But make no mistake, Ms. Derevko. If you're sending them into some kind of trap, there will be hell to pay, I promise you."  
  
Irina sighed. "Agent Kendall, I assure you that this is no trap. Would it be possible to speak with my daughter before she leaves?"  
  
Kendall nodded and pulled out his cell phone. "This is Kendall, please notify Agents Vaughn and Bristow that I want to meet with them in 30 minutes." He took one last look at Irina before he turned to exit the detention facility.  
  
As he walked away, she allowed herself a small smile of satisfaction. So far, her plan was working to perfection.  
  
*****  
  
Sydney strode purposefully through the hallway of the joint ops center, but slowed down as she entered the rotunda and walked to Vaughn's desk. Her eyes scanned the room until she saw him across the way, talking to another agent. She leaned back against his desk, allowing herself to watch him for a few moments. She hadn't seen him since before Christmas, and though she wouldn't have thought it possible, he looked even more gorgeous than she remembered. As if he could feel her eyes on him, he turned his head slightly and caught a glimpse of her. His mouth instantly curled into a small smile, and she could actually feel her heart begin to beat faster. She returned his smile as he cut his conversation short and headed in her direction.  
  
"Hey," he said, as he approached her and his smile turned into a sexy, lopsided grin. She quickly glanced around the room, where there was a flurry of activity and chatter all around them. After nine days apart, all she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and kiss him, but she knew she couldn't do that here or now. "Did Kendall summon you too?" he asked with an amused expression.  
  
She nodded. "What kind of torment do you think he has in store for us?"  
  
Vaughn rolled his eyes. "With him? Who knows." He surreptitiously stepped closer to her, and let his hand softly brush hers. "I missed you," he whispered into her ear.  
  
"Not as much as I missed you," she said softly. She could feel herself getting lost in his eyes as they stood smiling at each other. She knew that anyone reading their body language right now would easily be able to ascertain the true nature of their relationship, but she couldn't force herself to step away from Vaughn. She had just begun to let her fingers stroke his when they were interrupted by Kendall.  
  
"The two of you are going on a mission," he announced, as they quickly moved apart from each other.  
  
"What kind of mission?" Vaughn asked, with a slight frown.  
  
"Irina Derevko has alerted us to the existence of discs containing information about the Alliance."  
  
"What kind of information?" Sydney asked, as excitement started to course through her veins. She wasn't sure if it was caused by the anticipation of going on a mission with Vaughn or the possibility that this new information could assist in the destruction of SD-6.   
  
"Apparently, over the past decade, your mother's organization acquired all sorts of information about the Alliance. She wasn't specific about the content of the discs, but she said that it could be a great help you, and insisted that you and Agent Vaughn be the ones to retrieve the discs. She'd also like to speak to you once we're done here."  
  
Sydney glanced up at Vaughn questioningly. "Do you think she's up to something?"  
  
"I couldn't tell you," he said, shaking his head. "Maybe you should talk to her and judge for yourself."  
  
"Okay," she nodded slightly. "I'll be back in a few minutes."  
  
*****  
  
Irina was already waiting for Sydney as she arrived at her cell.  
  
"Sydney," she smiled. "I'm so glad to see you. I assume that Agent Kendall informed you of your mission."  
  
"He did, but he didn't tell me much about it, just that these discs contain some kind of information about the Alliance."  
  
"Yes," Irina nodded. "I think this information could be invaluable to you and Agent Vaughn."  
  
"Why did you insist that Vaughn and I go together?"  
  
"Would you prefer that someone else went with you, Sydney?" Irina asked, feigning innocence.  
  
Sydney felt a blush rising in her cheeks. "No, of course not," she stammered. "I was just wondering why it matters to you?"  
  
"Because I know that you can depend on him, and that you work well together. I know that you'll be safe with him."  
  
Sydney gave her mother a small smile. "Thank you," she said softly.  
  
"Don't thank me until you return with the discs," Irina said with a smile of her own. "Before you go, you'll need to call a former associate of mine, a man named Yuri Ivankov. Once the CIA has confirmed your travel arrangements, call and tell him that I said to leave everything that you'll need at your hotel. He'll know what that means."  
  
"How do I know that I can trust him?"  
  
"Do you trust *me*, Sydney?" Irina asked, almost afraid to hear her answer. "If you trust me, you can trust him, I promise. He will help you, as a personal favor to me."  
  
"Okay," Sydney said, nodding. "I'll call him while we're en route to -- where are we going, exactly?" she asked, realizing that she had no idea where she and Vaughn were headed.  
  
"Malolo Lailai. It's a small island in Fiji."  
  
*****  
  
Vaughn glanced up from his computer as Sydney returned to his desk. He shot her a questioning look, wondering what Irina had had to say.  
  
"I don't think she's setting us up," Sydney said with a shrug. "She actually gave me the name of one of her contacts who's going to help us. And it turns out that the reason she insisted we go together is because she thinks you'll keep me safe."  
  
"Well, she's right about that," he smiled, as she perched on the edge of his desk. "So much for our New Year's plans, huh? Looks like we'll be working, instead."  
  
"I hadn't even thought of that," Sydney said with a disappointed sigh. "I was so excited to see what you'd planned. Well, at least we'll be together. It won't be all bad."  
  
"No, it won't. Where are we going, by the way?"  
  
She laughed. "Get this -- we're going to Fiji."  
  
"Fiji?" Vaughn asked incredulously. "Who keeps important information in Fiji?"  
  
"My mother, apparently. You have to admit, it's kind of ingenious. I mean, if you were looking for those discs, the last place you'd ever think to look for them would be on an island in the South Pacific. Besides, it could be worse; the discs could've been in Greenland."  
  
"You're right, that would have been *much* worse," he laughed as he stood up. "We should both go home and pack. Oh, and Syd," he leaned in closer to her so only she could hear him, "I know we're going to Fiji, but we're keeping this strictly business. Don't even *think* about bringing some skimpy swimsuit."  
  
She matched his teasing grin with one of her own. "I hadn't even considered that until you mentioned it, but now it's going to be the *first* thing I pack. Thanks for the suggestion, Vaughn. I'll see you in a little while."  
  
All Vaughn could do was shake his head and smile as he watched her walk away.  
  
  
  
TBC . . . 


	6. Resolutions

A/N: Just a note of warning -- my teeth started to hurt as I was writing this chapter. I'm cutting myself some slack, though, because this will be the last excessively fluffy chapter for a while. Also, I just wanted to thank everyone who's reviewed this so far. You guys are the greatest, and I appreciate all of your comments so much. Enjoy!  
  
  
Chapter 6: "Resolutions"  
  
  
Sydney stood on the balcony of her hotel room and tried in vain to suppress a giddy smile. It was just before sunset, and the turquoise blue water of the Pacific shimmered and danced in the distance. A gentle breeze blew her hair in her face as she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. With each successive breath of warm, fragrant air, she could feel another one of her cares slip away. She stood with her eyes closed for a few minutes, opening them only when she heard a faint knock at her door.  
  
She crossed the room and took a quick glance in the peephole before flinging the door open. She greeted Vaughn with a huge smile as she grabbed his hand and pulled him inside her room.   
  
"Hi," she said excitedly.  
  
"Hi," Vaughn said with a bemused smile. "You okay?" he asked skeptically. In the year and a half that he had known Sydney, he had never seen her look so ecstatically happy, not even in Lake Tahoe. After eleven hours on a commercial flight from Los Angeles to Nadi, another hour transferring from the airport to Malolo Lailai by boat, and the time waiting to collect their bags and check in at the hotel, he thought for sure that she'd be exhausted. Instead, she was standing before him, grinning like a fool. He had never seen anything more beautiful in his life.  
  
"Me? Yeah, I'm fine. I just can't believe that we're here, *in Fiji* on a mission. It doesn't seem fair, does it? I almost want to thank my mother for storing her disks in a warehouse in the middle of paradise."  
  
Vaughn nodded in agreement. If nothing else, he had to give Irina credit for her taste in hideaway locations. Both he and Sydney had been awestruck by the island's beauty as they rode from the pier to their hotel, which was part of a larger resort. In addition to the hotel, the resort's lush green grounds were dotted with two lagoons, a number of villas, beachhouses, and small thatched-roof bures. It was paradise, and if it weren't for the fact that they had a mission to complete tomorrow, he would have totally let himself get swept away by the fact that he there with the woman of his dreams. However, he forced himself to focus and remember that they were there for work, not pleasure -- or at least he had until he saw the blissful expression on Sydney's face.   
  
"Okay, I know what you're thinking," Sydney began as she tugged at his hand and led him back out to the balcony. "We're here for work, and we can't let ourselves get distracted. *But* I think we should take at least a couple of hours to enjoy this," she concluded, gesturing to the tropical scene before them.   
  
"You're right," he said as he gently massaged her shoulders. Surely they could wait a couple of hours to discuss the mission specs. Besides, he loved seeing the look of utter contentment on Sydney's face, and didn't want to break the mood. "You know, when we were in Tahoe, it felt like L.A. was a million miles away, but being here feels like being in another world."  
  
"It does," she agreed, pulling his hands down and leaning back into his embrace. "It feels like nothing exists here but you, me, and the sunset," she said with a happy sigh.   
  
They stood together for the next few minutes as the sun slowly slid from the horizon and the waves lapped at the beach's shore.   
  
"Hey, Syd?" Vaughn drawled as he nuzzled her neck.  
  
"Yes?" she asked as her fingers stroked the back of his hands.  
  
"I love you."  
  
She grinned and turned her head to his, becoming keenly aware that his lips were only a fraction of an inch from hers. "I love you too," she breathed just before capturing his lips in a slow, sweet kiss. As his fingers caressed her face and the kiss deepened, she felt as if she had left paradise and entered heaven.  
  
Vaughn was unsure how long they had been kissing before he felt Sydney start to shiver. He wanted to believe her shivers were the result of his expert kissing technique, but he knew the temperature had dropped several degrees when the sun went down. He slid his hands up and down Sydney's arms, trying to warm her.   
  
"Are you cold?"  
  
"A little," she said sheepishly. "I didn't want to tell you, 'cause I didn't want you to stop kissing me."  
  
"Syd, I don't mind moving the kissing inside," he smiled mischievously as he gently pushed her back inside the room..  
  
"I know. It's just hard to think when you kiss me like that." She raked her fingers through her windswept hair as he sat on the edge of the bed. The effect he had on her both scared and thrilled her. It was so easy to block out the rest of the world when she was with him, and she was sure he felt the same way. She prayed that it wouldn't cause them to get sloppy in hiding their relationship.  
  
"It's hard for *me* to think when I'm kissing you like that," he admitted with a wry smile. "You know, at some point tonight, we have to formulate a plan for tomorrow." He watched as the corners of her mouth turned down into a slight frown.   
  
"But, hey, work can wait for a little while longer." He wanted to spend a few more hours with his girlfriend before it was time to discuss work with his colleague. "What do you want to do right now?" he asked as he pulled her down into his lap and wrapped his arms around her waist.  
  
"We could go to dinner," she offered as her fingers played in his hair.  
  
"Or we could *not* go to dinner," Vaughn said suggestively as he flipped her onto her back.  
  
"Not go to dinner and do what instead?" she asked as he slipped a hand underneath her white button down shirt and softly stroked her stomach.  
  
"I'm sure we can figure something out," he murmured, lowering his mouth to hers and pulling her closer to him. He couldn't believ that it had only been nine days since they were last together; it felt as if it had been months. He knew that he was totally strung out on Sydney Bristow, and right now he wanted to overdose on her. One of her legs slipped between his as they moved together on the bed, and he could feel his entire brain growing fuzzy with desire for her. He had just started unbuttoning her shirt when a noise outside the door startled them both. Sydney drew herself up on her elbows and looked at him questioningly.  
  
"Did you hear that?" she asked him with an urgent whisper. They remained perfectly still until they heard a knock on the door and she fell back to the bed with a groan. "If we don't answer it, maybe whoever it is will go away," she said just before they heard another knock.   
  
"I don't think so," Vaughn said with an irritated sigh. Whoever was on the other side of the door was persistent and had lousy timing. "You should answer it," he said, sitting back on his heels and pulling her up with him. She gave him an apologetic smile as she stood up and made her way to the door, quickly buttoning her shirt back up. After smoothing her hair, she opened the door to see a uniformed hotel employee holding a package.  
  
"Ms. Collins?"  
  
"Yes, that's me," she said, slipping into a British accent. In the corner of her eye, she saw Vaughn sit up as he watched them with interest.  
  
"A package was delivered for you downstairs by a Mr. Yuri Ivankov."  
  
"Yes, I'll accept it," Sydney said when she recognized the name of her mother's contact. "Thank you very much," she said as she tipped him. As she closed the door, she studied the package, which was the size of a shoebox.   
  
"Ivankov, isn't he the guy who's supposed to give us what we need to retrieve the disks?" Vaughn asked as he stood up and walked towards her.  
  
"Yeah," Sydney frowned. "I thought we were going to meet him in the morning, but I guess not. Do you think it's safe to open this?" she asked suspiciously.  
  
"What, you don't trust your mother?" Vaughn asked with a raised eyebrow as Sydney placed the box on the room's desk.  
  
She shoved her hands in her pockets and took a deep breath. "Honestly, I don't know. She hasn't really given me a reason not to trust her yet."  
  
"You mean other than missing the last 20 years of your life?"  
  
Sydney glanced at him and sighed. "Well, yeah. I just meant that she's been helpful since she's been in custody. I think we can trust her, but I'm not sure I trust this Ivankov guy. How do we know that he's still loyal to my mom? There could be a bomb inside this package for all we know."  
  
"Only one way to find out," Vaughn said as he picked it up and examined it. He didn't notice any unusual stains or residue on it, so he was fairly satisfied that its contents didn't contain a bomb. "Do you want to open it or should I?" he asked. When she nodded at him, he unwrapped and opened it himself. He heard Sydney gasp when she saw what was inside the box, and he could hardly believe his own eyes.  
  
"Vaughn," Sydney breathed as she reached inside the box and pulled out a CD case. "Are these the disks?" she asked incredulously.  
  
He reached into the box and pulled out all of the CD cases. Including the one Sydney had, there were twelve of them in all. "Do you have your laptop? I can go to my room and get mine if --"  
  
"No, I have mine," Sydney said, walking over to the corner and removing her laptop from its case. She set it on the desk and waited for it to boot up. Vaughn handed her a disk, which she placed in the drive, and they both watched intently as an icon labeled SD-3 appeared on the desktop. Sydney clicked on the icon, pulling up a list of files. A random click on one of the files opened a document containing the numbers of various bank accounts and descriptions of their holdings. She quickly exited that file and clicked on another one, which brought up the floor plans for SD-3's Sao Paolo headquarters. Another click brought up a list of arms dealers with whom SD-3 had done business.  
  
"Oh my god," she said in a shaky voice as she sat back in her chair. She couldn't imagine how much more information was on the disk or how long it had taken to acquire. She looked up at Vaughn and saw a similar expression of amazement on his face. "Can you believe this?"  
  
"Actually, no," he said, running his fingers through his hair. He suspected that the disks contained more information about the Alliance than years of CIA investigations had uncovered. He didn't know whether to admire or fear Irina's ability to gather so much information that had eluded the CIA, but he knew that he was going to have a lot of questions for her when they returned to L.A. For the moment, he was simply in awe of her efforts. He wouldn't know for sure until the disks could be properly analyzed, but he was almost certain that Irina had just saved the CIA years of legwork.  
  
"Sydney, if all of these disks contain the same kind of information that this one does, we might be able to destroy the Alliance much sooner than we had anticipated," he said, trying not to sound as excited as he actually was.  
  
"Really?" she asked hopefully.  
  
"Yeah," he said, letting out a deep breath. "I can't believe that your mother would just drop this information in our laps."  
  
"Me either." Sydney shook her head slowly as a realization hit her. "Oh my gosh, she did this on purpose."  
  
"What?"  
  
"My mother asked Kendall to send us on this mission, but there *was* no mission. She never intended for us to retrieve the disks from that facility; I think she intended to just give them to us."  
  
"So you're saying that your mother sent us here on a CIA-funded vacation?" Vaughn's eyes widened in disbelief.  
  
"I think she did." She smiled slowly as she stood up and faced him. "I think she made up the mission so we could be alone together."  
  
"Why would she --" Vaughn's voice broke off as he remembered his conversation with Irina following his illness. Obviously she knew how he felt about Sydney, but . . .  
  
"Did you tell your mother about us?"  
  
"Not exactly. I haven't told her, but she knows that I'm in love with you."  
  
Vaughn looked at her with an amused smile. "How does she know that?"  
  
"I don't know, maybe she can see it in my eyes," she shrugged. "She's my mother, Vaughn. I know she's missed almost every important moment of my life, but she's my mother, and sometimes I think she sees right through me. When I went to see her on Christmas Eve, she instantly guessed that you were the one who gave me my necklace, and when I came back from Lake Tahoe, she told me that I looked like I was in love. It's actually kind of scary that she can read me so easily."  
  
"Yeah, you're not the only one," Vaughn said uneasily. He thought about his own interactions with Irina and realized that his feelings for Sydney had probably been written all over his face. Now that she knew how they felt about each other, she could so easily manipulate them if they weren't careful. She had just given them an amazing gift, but there was no way of knowing whether she had an ulterior motive for doing so.   
  
"Why do you think she did this?" he asked, wondering if Sydney shared his concerns.  
  
"Well, it could be part of some bigger plan, or maybe . . ." her voice trailed off.  
  
"Maybe what?"  
  
"Maybe she just wanted to do something that would make me happy," she shrugged. "She had to have known that nothing would make me happier than being alone with you, somewhere where no one could find us and we didn't have to worry about being caught." She stepped closer to him and gently tugged on his shirt. "She told me on Christmas Eve that the most important thing in the world was being with the person you love, and here I am."  
  
"Irina Derevko, matchmaker? I'm not sure I buy that," Vaughn said with a wary smile. "I'm not sure that her motives for sending us here were entirely altruistic, but for now, I'll assume that they were. I'm just grateful that I get to spend 36 hours alone with you."  
  
Sydney leaned back and smiled at him. "How are we gonna fill all those hours?"   
  
"I don't know, but I'm open to suggestions," he said as he lowered his head to hers and kissed her.  
  
*****  
  
"I never want to leave this place," Sydney announced with a happy sigh.  
  
"Where? Fiji or the bathroom?" Vaughn asked with a teasing smile.  
  
"*Fiji*, silly."  
  
"I kind of like the bathroom, too." He sunk down further in the bubble bath they were sharing and grinned at her.  
  
"I'll bet," she said with a dimpled grin of her own. "Do you have any idea how insanely happy I am right now?"  
  
"Well, you haven't stopped smiling since dinner, so I can guess. What's got you in such a good mood -- too much champagne?" He laughed as she playfully slapped at the water and sent bubbles flying in his face.  
  
"No, I'm just happy to be here with you. We're thousands of miles away from everyone and everything that we know, and I couldn't be any happier. Sometimes I think that I'd be perfectly happy if we got stranded on a deserted island and couldn't be rescued. Is that healthy?"  
  
"I guess it depends on what we'd be doing on that island," he smirked. "It's a nice fantasy."  
  
"But it's just a fantasy," she sighed. "Couldn't we fake our deaths and not go back home?" she joked.  
  
"We could, but I don't think you'd really want to do that. You have Francie and Will and your dad back in L.A."  
  
"Yeah, but I have you *here,* and you're all I want right now. Actually, you're all I want forever," she said softly.  
  
"You have me for as long as you want me, Sydney."  
  
"Remember that you said that later tonight," she teased with a lascivious grin.  
  
"Oh, I will," he said as he stroked her thigh. "I have to say that this is, without a doubt, the best mission I've ever been assigned."  
  
"Be sure to tell Kendall when we get back." Sydney laughed before she grew serious. "Actually, if the information on those disks is as helpful as it looks, this really *will* be the best mission ever. Earlier, when you said that we might be able to bring down the Alliance sooner than expected, what kind of time frame were you talking about?"  
  
"Well, I don't want to get your hopes up -- or mine -- but if all those files are legit, the Alliance might not exist a year from now."  
  
"Seriously?" she gasped. The thought that she might be free in a year, that *they* might be free, was too good to be true.  
  
"Well, it's hard to estimate these things, and you never know what might happen, but it's certainly possible. Looks like I might have to start saving my money."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"To take you away. Remember, when we were in Tahoe, you made me promise that I'd take you away to an island when everything was all over, and Fiji's going to be hard to top."  
  
"Vaughn, you could take me to Coney Island, or Gilligan's Island, or even Riker's Island," she laughed. "It won't matter as long as we're together."  
  
"Great, so we're gonna go hang out with prisoners on Riker's Island." he grinned. "What then?"  
  
"What do you mean, 'what then'?'"  
  
"I mean, what do you want to do after SD-6 is gone? Do you want to stay with the CIA, or teach, or start your own self defense school?"  
  
She giggled at his teasing tone. "Honestly, I have no idea what I want to do. When Danny asked me to marry him, I thought I would leave SD-6 once we were ready to start a family, and then, I'd eventually become a literature professor like my mom. Even after I learned the truth about SD-6, I still thought that I would teach once everything was over. But now, I'm not sure what I want to do," she said with a heavy sigh. "The whole reason I wanted to be a professor was because I grew up thinking that was what my mom did, and I wanted to follow in her footsteps. Now that I know that her life was a lie, I'm not sure how I feel about teaching. Maybe being a spy was what I was actually meant to do."  
  
"You're really good at it Syd, and maybe you were meant to be a spy, but that doesn't mean anything if you don't *want* to be a spy. Sydney, you got trapped into this life, but it doesn't mean that you have to stay in it forever. You deserve the chance to do whatever you want to do with your life."  
  
"The weird thing is, that before I found out the truth, I really liked my job. I felt patriotic and important, like I was making the world a better place. Maybe I'd feel that way again if I was working for the CIA as just an agent rather than a double agent," she shrugged. "Maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to stay with the agency after SD-6 is gone. What do you think about that?"  
  
Vaughn raised an eyebrow at her. "Do you want my official, CIA-sanctioned answer? Because I know the agency would love for you to stay on after everything is over."  
  
"Hmm," Sydney nodded her head. "Thank you, Senior Officer Vaughn. Now I want to know what *Michael* thinks."  
  
"I just wants you to be happy, and I'll support whatever decision you make," he said firmly.  
  
"Thank you for saying that," she smiled. "It didn't help me make up my mind, but I have plenty of time. It's not like SD-6 is going anywhere at the moment. Anyway, enough about me, what do *you* want when this is over?"  
  
"Me? I'm just like all the guys in those action movies. In the end, when all the dust settles, I just want the girl."  
  
"And then we walk off into the sunset together?" she teased. "C'mon Vaughn, you can do better than that. Do you want to get married?"  
  
"Are you asking me to marry you, Bristow?"  
  
"No!" she gasped, her face becoming flushed. "I'm just asking, *generally,* do you want to get married? Do you want to have kids?"  
  
"Yeah. I want to get married and have 2.5 kids and a minivan. I've already got the dog," he grinned. He sobered when she shot him a "be serious" look. "Yes," he said, taking one of her hands in his and squeezing it. "I want to get married, and have kids. But I'm telling you I will *never* drive a minivan -- it's bad enough that I have to drive a government car most days," he laughed.  
  
"Yeah, I'm not a minivan person, either," Her eyes widened in alarm when she realized what she had said. "N-n-n not that I meant to suggest that you --" she stammered quickly.  
  
"That I what?" he asked, noticing how flustered she was.  
  
She looked down, at the bubbles skimming the surface of the water as she tried to avoid his gaze. "I didn't mean to be presumptuous and suggest that you wanted any of those things with me."  
  
"Sydney," he said, trying to catch her eyes. "Sydney, look at me. You are the *only* person that I want all those things with," he said, looking at her meaningfully. "The only one," he whispered as moved closer to her.   
  
He reached out and pulled her onto his lap as his lips captured hers in a slow, sensual kiss. He knew that it would be a while before he and Sydney could start creating the family they wanted, but in the meantime, they could certainly work on perfecting their technique.  
  
*****  
  
The next morning, Vaughn stuffed his hands in the pockets of a fluffy bathrobe as he walked out of the bathroom. He stood at the foot of the bed and watched as Sydney slept. They hadn't spent many nights together so far, but this was the first time that he had woken up before she did. He had watched her sleep once before, in the medical services unit, but her sleep then had been restless and fitful; this was the first time he had gotten to watch her sleep peacefully and he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. Curled up on her side, with hair splayed across her pillow and a look of restful contentment on her face, she looked like a beautiful angel. He felt a deep longing stir within himself, realizing that he wanted to wake up to this sight every morning. He sighed as he wondered how long it would be until he could do just that.   
  
He watched her sleep for a few more moments before walking over and pulling the room's heavy curtains back slightly. He was surprised that the sun was so high in the sky, and realized that it must be later than he thought. It amazed him how soundly he slept when he was with Sydney. Perhaps it was nature's way of repaying him for all the sleep he didn't get when she was out in the field. He was still peaking through the curtains when he heard her stir behind him.  
  
"Vaughn?" she mumbled. He turned to see her laying on her back, hand shielding her eyes from the sunlight streaming into the room through the tiny crack in the curtains.  
  
"Hey, sorry," he said softly. "Did the light wake you?"  
  
"No. I reached over and you weren't next to me. What are you doing so far away? Come back to bed," she said with a sleepy smile.  
  
It was an offer he couldn't refuse. He climbed back on the bed, gently sliding on top of her. He kissed her closed eyelids and her nose, then placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Morning, gorgeous."  
  
Sydney opened her eyes again and when they finally focused, she found herself staring into the hazel-green eyes she loved so much. She reached up and ran her fingers through his rumpled hair.   
  
"Good morning. I can't believe you woke up before I did," she laughed. "Just when I think you can't surprise me any more, you do."  
  
"Syd, please. The fact that I woke up before you can't be *that* much of a surprise. I usually wake up at six every morning. I only sleep late whenever you're around," he said with a goodnatured smile.  
  
"Right," she said disbelievingly. "Anyway, that wasn't the surprise I was talking about. You surprised me last night." She and Vaughn were still in the discovery stage, when every glance and touch seemed to reveal something new about each other, especially when they made love. She was sure that even if they had been in a "normal" relationship, they'd still be in the "can't keep our hands off of each other" stage, but the fact that their relationship was forbidden only intensified their desire for each other. Sydney imagined that at some point in the future, they'd be able to stop acting like two sex-crazed teenagers, but for the time being, she couldn't get enough of him, and last night had completely blown her mind.  
  
"What did I do last night?" Vaughn asked, his forehead wrinkling with apprehension.  
  
"You don't remember? Vaughn, you were . . . saying things to me . . . in French." She laughed at the blank expression on his face. "You really don't remember? Too bad, it was really sexy," she grinned.  
  
"Honestly, Syd, I can't remember half the things I said to you last night. You make me less than coherent sometimes," he smiled. "So what did I say? Did I mention anything about frosting a pie?" he teased.  
  
She opened her mouth in surprise and then laughed. "No, nothing about frosting a pie. Wow, we're a real pair. I talk in my sleep and you speak in foreign languages when you're . . . stimulated," she giggled. "Can you imagine if that information fell in enemy hands?"  
  
Vaughn pulled the covers down slightly as he trailed soft kisses along Sydney's neck and collarbone. "How do you know that I'm *not* the enemy?"  
  
"I guess I don't. But if you are, I don't really care," she said, drawing him into another kiss.  
  
Vaughn rolled onto his back once they broke apart. "So, it's the last day of 2002. How do you want to spend it?"  
  
"Oh my gosh, it's New Year's Eve. I'd forgotten. What do *you* want to do?"  
  
"Nope. I asked you first," Vaughn grinned. "Tell me what you want to do, and whatever it is, we'll do it."  
  
Sydney propped herself on her elbow and looked down at him. "You would do anything to make me happy, wouldn't you?" She interpreted his smile as an implicit "yes," and looked back at him seriously. "Do I make you as happy as you make me?"  
  
"Well, that depends," he said slyly. "How happy do I make you?"  
  
Sydney shook her head and placed her hand on his forearm. "Vaughn, I'm being serious. Since the day we met, you've been this incredible source of strength and comfort for me. You let me cry on your shoulder -- a lot," she added with a small laugh. "You give me pep talks whenever I get discouraged, and you haven't been scared away by my crazy parents. You give me so much, and sometimes I just wonder if I give you anything in return."  
  
"Are you serious?" he asked incredulously. "We're not keeping score here, you know. Sydney, you make me indescribably happy. No one's ever made me feel the way that you do. Don't ever question how much better you make my life," he implored as his thumb caressed her cheek.  
  
She smiled softly and leaned into his touch. "I don't ever solve your problems," she said regretfully.  
  
"My life's not that complicated," he shrugged.  
  
"That's not true, and even if it was, your life got a lot more complicated when I crashed into it. I just want to make sure that you know you can tell me about your problems. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, mine is available."  
  
"I know, Syd," he said softly. "Trust me, you'll be the first person I'll come to. I promise."  
  
"Okay, good."  
  
"Actually, you can help me with a problem right now," he smiled up at her.  
  
Her face lit up at the thought that she could actually help him for once. "Really? What is it?"  
  
"Well, it's New Year's Eve, and I asked my girlfriend what she wants to do, but she hasn't given me any suggestions yet. So I need some help figuring out what to do."  
  
He laughed as she rolled her eyes and gently pushed him away from her.  
  
*****  
  
"This reminds me of the movie 'Joe vs. The Volcano.' You know how Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks were floating in the Pacific on those suitcases? It looked like they were on the edge of the earth, so far away from everything. That's how I feel right now," Sydney said as she leaned back in Vaughn's arms and swept her hair over her left shoulder. They were sitting on the beach, enjoying the soft sound of the surf lapping a few feet away from them. The stars shone brightly, and the water was calm and dark, reflecting the glow of the moon.  
  
"We *are* far away from everything. We're a long way from L.A., that's for sure."  
  
"What would we be doing tonight if we were at home?"  
  
Vaughn shrugged. "I don't know . . . dinner and dancing in the warehouse?"  
  
She made a face as she turned to look at him. "*That* was the big plan you told me about?"  
  
"Of course not," he scoffed. "I didn't actually *have* a plan; I told you that I *might* have a plan. I was still brainstorming when Kendall told us we were coming here. You know, it takes a lot of planning to be wildly romantic," he laughed. "I thought about taking you to Mulholland Drive, but I figured that if there were fireworks anywhere in the city, we'd be able to see them from there. Sorry that there aren't any fireworks here on the island."  
  
"We can make our own fireworks later," she said seductively as her hand caressed his knee.  
  
"Definitely," he grinned. "Are you sure you don't want to go back up by the pool?" After dinner, he and Sydney had stumbled upon the resort's New Year's Eve party, and they had danced for a while before deciding to take a walk on the beach. They stopped at a secluded spot far enough away to give them privacy, but close enough that they could still hear the music and laughter from the party.  
  
"I'm sure. Some of the women at the party were staring at you, so I figured I'd better drag you away if I wanted to keep you all to myself." she laughed.  
  
"Funny, I noticed some guys checking you out too."  
  
"Oh, they didn't stand a chance." She moved to a kneeling position facing Vaughn and placed her hands on his bent knees. "Hey, I've been dying to ask you what's your New Year's resolution?"  
  
He made a face and shook his head. "I don't really believe in New Year's resolutions."  
  
Sydney cocked her head to the side and studied him. "I should've known."  
  
He looked back at her with amused surprised. "What does that mean?"  
  
She shrugged. "Just that you don't seem like the kind of person who waits for an arbitrary date before you resolve to do something."  
  
"I guess not. I've never really understood why people make a big deal out of it. Most New Year's resolutions just end up being broken anyway."  
  
Sydney let out a shocked laugh as a huge smile spread over her face. "Oh my god, you're right," she said thoughtfully. She brushed away a few strands of hair that blew in front of her eyes. "My resolution was that I was going to learn to control myself around you. I told myself that I was going to be more professional and resist the urge to kiss you every time I saw you," she laughed. "I thought I'd impress you with my restraint."  
  
"Impress me with your restraint?" Vaughn smirked. "Sydney, you wouldn't have impressed me, you would have driven me crazy!" He shook his head and grinned at her. "*That* was definitely a resolution that was meant to be broken."  
  
She inched closer to him and smiled. "Yeah, it was, wasn't it? You should know that I've broken every New Year's resolution I've ever made. I certainly didn't have any intention of keeping this one for more than a week."  
  
"Glad to hear it," he whispered as he brushed his lips against hers. As she gave into his kiss, she knew that there was no way in hell she could have kept her resolution for more than a day. She was the proverbial moth to Vaughn's flame, powerless to resist him. Just as she was getting lost in the feel of his mouth on hers, she heard the notes of a familiar song drifting over from the pool area. She gently pulled back from him and rose to her feet, leaving him with a quizzical expression on his face.  
  
"Dance with me?" she asked, holding out her hand and pulling him to his feet.  
  
"Sure," he smiled. He brushed off his pants and wrapped his arms around her waist, making her shiver as his fingers brushed against the small of her back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder.   
  
"Francie and I used to listen to this CD all the time in college," she murmured. "I love this song."  
  
  
There must have been an angel by my side  
something heavenly led me to you  
look at the sky  
it's the color of love  
There must have been an angel by my side  
something heavenly came down from above  
he led me to you  
he led me to you  
  
He built a bridge to your heart  
all the way  
how many tons of love inside  
I can't say  
  
  
Sydney closed her eyes as they danced together. She couldn't imagine a more perfect way to celebrate the new year than dancing under the stars with Vaughn. When she opened her eyes and saw him smiling down at her, she made a new resolution: She was going to do everything in her power, whatever it took, to bring down SD-6 before the year was over. She wasn't willing to wait a minute longer than necessary to be with him all the time. She smiled as she buried her face in his shoulder. For the first time in her life, she had made a resolution that she had *every* intention of keeping.  
  
  
When I was led to you  
I knew you were the one for me  
I swear the whole world could feel my heartbeat  
When I lay eyes on you  
you wrap me up in  
the color of love  
  
You gave me the kiss of life  
kiss of life  
You gave me the kiss that's like  
the kiss of life  
  
  
Vaughn wrapped his arms tighter around Sydney, loving the way she felt in his arms. He wasn't sure if he believed in destiny, but he was starting o believe that they were made for each other. They were amazing together, and all he wanted was to be with her always. So, for the first time in a long time, he made a New Year's resolution: That he would do everything in his power to protect her and free her from the clutches of SD-6, no matter the cost. He knew it was the one resolution he was incapable of breaking.  
  
  
Wasn't it clear from the start  
look the sky is full of love  
yeah the sky is full of love  
  
You gave me the kiss of life  
kiss of life  
You gave me the kiss that's like  
the kiss of life  
  
  
Song: "Kiss of Life" by Sade  
  
  
TBC . . . 


	7. Matinee

A/N: There's a teeny, tiny spoiler in this chapter about Will's occupational future, but it's nothing that you wouldn't have guessed from watching "The Abduction." As always, thanks for reading a reviewing.   
  
  
Chapter 7: "Matinee"  
  
  
Vaughn took another sip of coffee and forced himself to concentrate on the report he was writing about his and Sydney's Fiji mission. Concentrating was proving to be an impossible task, however, because all he wanted to do was go home and sleep for a week. At the moment, he had a severe case of jetlag that was kicking his ass, but if that was the price he had to pay for spending New Year's with Sydney, it was worth every bit of the suffering he was currently experiencing. He smiled, remembering the amazing time they'd had on the island. The details of what they'd been doing to have such an amazing time would never find their way into his report, however. As far as he was concerned, that information was classified Omega-17.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted as he looked up and saw a black-clad United States marshal walking in his direction.  
  
"Agent Vaughn, I'm Jake Myers," the marshal said as ha and Vaughn shook hands. "We're ready for you now. You can follow me."  
  
Vaughn nodded and followed Jake through the halls of the joint ops center. They made their way up to the roof, and another marshal let them enter through the gate. Vaughn watched as Jake retrieved his rifle and returned to his post on the roof. As his eyes darted around the roof, he counted six marshals, each armed, ready and waiting to take the prisoner out if she made one wrong move. He also noticed four snipers on the roofs of two adjacent buildings. The gravity of their presence reminded him who he was dealing with, and he straightened his posture as he braced himself for another encounter with Irina Derevko. He was no longer intimidated or disgusted by her, the way he had been in their first few meetings, but he knew that she was an expert at playing mind games, and he needed to prepare himself to counter her every move.  
  
He watched her closely as she slowly paced back and forth in the middle of the roof. Her chin was raised, her eyes were closed, and she looked as if she was meditating and sleepwalking simultaneously. Vaughn walked over to her and cleared his throat, alerting her to his presence. Her eyes opened in surprise at the unexpected interruption and she slowly turned around to face him.  
  
"Agent Vaughn. I wasn't expecting to see you, at least not up here," she gestured to their surroundings.  
  
"I needed to speak with you, and I figured this was as good a place as any." In truth, talking to Irina on the roof had been a calculated decision on his part. He took another cursory glance around the roof. The marshals were watching them closely but he was sure that they were unable to hear what they said to each other. More importantly, he knew that there was no audio feed from the rooftop surveillance cameras to the ops center, so he didn't have to worry about anyone monitoring their conversation.  
  
"Happy New Year. I trust that you and Sydney enjoyed your time in Fiji?"  
  
"I think we both found it worthwhile," he said carefully, as she shot him a knowing smile. "Agent Bristow and I were both grateful for the intel you provided us, but we were surprised at how painlessly you turned it over."  
  
"Why would that surprise you, Agent Vaughn? And was the intel *all* that you were grateful for?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
Vaughn glanced away for a moment before turning his eyes back to her. He squared his jaw and decided to ignore her second question. "I've read the terms of your immunity deal. I know that you're obligated to cooperate with the CIA, but technically, you're under no obligation to make it easy on us."  
  
"I think I've made my daughter's life difficult enough," she said softly. "It's about time that I started making things easier for her, wouldn't you say?"  
  
"Is that what you're actually doing?" he asked challengingly.  
  
She folded her arms across her body and returned his stare. "You're concerned about my motives, Agent Vaughn?"  
  
"If I weren't concerned about your motives, I wouldn't be fit to be your daughter's handler. It's my job to protect her."  
  
Irina regarded Vaughn and felt a certain admiration for him. Even though she knew that he was desperately in love with Sydney, he didn't allow those feelings to cloud his judgment when it came to either her or Jack. He had already proven himself willing to confront both of them if it meant protecting Sydney. She knew that he would always put her first, and her long dormant maternal side appreciated his devotion to her daughter. There was also something about him that reminded her of another young CIA officer who had moved up the agency's fast track. Whenever Vaughn talked about Sydney, he got a look in his eyes that reminded her of the way that Jack used to look at her. She missed that look.  
  
"I know that you worry about my daughter, especially where I'm concerned. I can't say that I blame you for that. Neither her father nor I have been model parents. But I assure you that I have no intention of hurting Sydney."  
  
"I hope you mean that. But just so we're clear, I have no intention of letting you or anyone else hurt Sydney. *Ever*."  
  
Irina was impressed by the steely tone in his voice. This was a far cry from the man who could barely bring himself to look her in the eye a few months earlier, and she could tell that he meant every word that he said.   
  
"I'm glad that my daughter has you in her life," she said softly as she looked off into the distance.  
  
Vaughn stared at Irina, wondering whether he had heard her correctly. She certainly sounded sincere; if she wasn't, she was the best actress he had ever seen in his life. *I didn't do it for you.* The words he had once spoken to her, the words that she'd repeated back to him, echoed in his mind. He didn't think he would ever come to terms with her role in his father's death, but in a strange way, he felt a bond with her. She was the mother of the woman he loved, and they both seemed equally concerned about her well-being. He still didn't trust Irina, but he wanted to believe that she loved Sydney.  
  
"I have a few questions for you about the disks."  
  
"Ah. First you want to know why I gave them to you?" Her words were more of a statement than a question.  
  
"I assume you gave them to us because you want to see SD-6 destroyed as much as we do."  
  
"Yes. I want to see Arvin Sloane burn in hell, and the Alliance in ruins," she said bitterly. Once that happens, Sydney will be free. I'm not sure that she'll ever have a truly *normal* life, but I want her to have a life free from secrets and danger."  
  
Vaughn nodded. That was all he wanted too. "The information on your disks could go a long way towards giving Sydney that life. How was your organization able to acquire all of that intel?"  
  
"Does it matter, Mr. Vaughn?" Irina asked cooly. "All that really matters is that you have the information now. I suggest that you and your agency use it wisely."  
  
"In order to do that, I may need to ask you more questions in the future. I need to know that you'll be willing to answer those questions."  
  
"Yes, I'll tell you what you need to know."  
  
"Thank you." Vaughn turned to leave, but a few steps later, he stopped and turned around to look at her. "To answer your question from earlier . . . yes, I was grateful for more than the disks in Fiji. But I think you already knew that."  
  
Irina smiled as Vaughn walked away. She did already know; it was written all over his face.  
  
*****  
  
Will Tippin glanced around the bar he was in, sensing that there was something very unusual about the place. In fact, he'd sensed something strange from the moment he arrived and stood in front of a steel door with a small opening near the top. Any bar that required a password to gain entry was obviously not your run-of the-mill watering hole. Once he entered the bar, he was surprised to see it filled with men who all seemed to be wearing a similar uniform, dress slacks and starched oxfords with rolled up sleeves and loosened ties. There was a sprinkling of women throughout the bar, but the clientele was overwhelmingly male. This obviously wasn't the place to come if you were looking to meet women, he observed with a wry smile. He was still examining his surroundings when Vaughn and Weiss returned to the table with a pitcher of beer and three frosted glasses in hand.  
  
"Sorry it took us so long. Mike and the bartender were having an argument over who's the better pool player," Weiss explained.  
  
"It wasn't an argument," Vaughn laughed. "It was too one-sided to be an argument. JD knows he can't compete with me."  
  
Weiss rolled his eyes at Will. "To hear Mike tell it, he's the best pool *and* hockey player that ever lived."  
  
"Damn straight," Vaughn nodded.  
  
"It was really cool of you guys to take me hang out tonight," Will said appreciatively.  
  
"Our pleasure," Vaughn replied. "We thought we'd help celebrate your first day as a CIA employee."  
  
"Yeah, if that doesn't deserve a few drinks, I don't know what does," cracked Weiss. "Nothing like signing away your life to the government."  
  
"Thanks, you're making me feel really good about this decision," Will joked. He was surprised that Weiss and Vaughn were discussing the CIA so openly in the middle of the bar, where anyone could listen in on them. He wasn't well-versed in CIA protocol yet, but he was sure that it wasn't a good idea to let people overhear that you work for the most secretive intelligence agency in the world.  
  
"Don't pay Eric any attention. He's a total company man. Working for the agency is actually pretty cool, and in no time, you'll probably be get your own password for this place."  
  
Will's eyes widened with surprise. "Yeah, what is this place exactly? Is it some kind of secret club?"  
  
Vaughn laughed. "I guess you could think of it that way, but actually it's just a CIA bar. The CIA discourages its agents from going out and getting plastered in public bars, because of the security risk," Vaughn explained when Will shot him a questioning glance. "You can still go to regular bars, you just have to be careful when you do. Eric's such a sloppy drunk that we usually just end up coming here," Vaughn smirked as Eric playfully slapped him on the back of the head.  
  
"I don't remember reading anything about getting hammered in the agency handbook they gave me," Will laughed.  
  
"I know," Vaughn smiled. "You're going to learn quickly that most of the agency's *really* important rules are unwritten. A few years ago, someone came to the shocking revelation that working for the CIA is stressful and that the company's employees might need a place to blow off steam, so they created this place. You have to know the password to get in, and it changes every so often. Someone will tell you all about it after you make it through your probationary period."  
  
"So this is like a sneak preview?" Will grinned.  
  
Weiss raised his glass and laughed. "Yeah, welcome to our world, man."   
  
A pitcher later, Will felt as if he, Weiss, and Vaughn were old friends. Vaughn and Weiss old him stories about their days at Langley, and their early years at the agency. He told them stories about his college years, and took notice of the way that Vaughn seemed to smile to himself whenever Sydney was mentioned. During their first meeting, Will had suspected that Vaughn and Sydney's relationship wasn't just a professional one, but he was beginning to think that he didn't know the half of it. He had just finished telling them about the time a drunken Sydney led an entire bar in a rendition of "Turn the Beat Around," when he noticed the bartender gesturing over to their table.  
  
Vaughn laughed and stood up. "Sorry guys, JD's a masochist. I'm gonna have to go take his money."  
  
Weiss grinned and shook his head. "Go easy on him, man," he said as Vaughn walked over to the pool tables in the corner of the bar. He turned back at Will. "So, I bet you have a lot of questions about what it's like to work for the agency."  
  
"Yeah, I do, but I'll start with the important stuff. How much vacation time do I get?"  
  
"Not enough," Weiss laughed. "I've only been back at work for a few weeks, and I already feel like I need a vacation. I knew I should've gone to Tahoe with Mike when he asked me."  
  
Will almost choked on the beer he'd just swallowed. Did Weiss just say that Vaughn had recently been to Lake Tahoe? "When was that?" he asked innocently.  
  
"Back in November. He went for a week, and I was a fool for staying here. There's nothing like sitting around a fire drinking hot chocolate with snow bunnies, ya know?"  
  
Will laughed, but his mind was spinning. He remembered how happy Sydney was when *she* returned from Lake Tahoe in November. Was it possible that they had been there at the same time -- together? Both he and Francie had suspected that Sydney was hiding something the night that they had gone out for his birthday, now he was sure of it. He just had to find a way to get her to admit it.  
  
*****  
  
Will looked up from his bowl of cereal as Sydney entered the kitchen the next morning.  
  
"Hey, Syd."  
  
"Hi," she smiled. "You got in late last night."  
  
"Yeah, I did." Will shifted nervously on his stool, wondering whether to ask her about what he'd learned the night before. "I went out with Weiss and Vaughn." He noticed Sydney's eyes widen slightly when he mentioned Vaughn's name.  
  
"What were you doing out with Vaughn and Weiss?"  
  
"They took me out for drinks to celebrate my new job."  
  
"Oh, that was nice of them. Did you have a good time?"  
  
"Yeah, I did. They're really good guys."  
  
"Yeah, they are," Sydney nodded as she tried to suppress a smile.  
  
"Why are you smiling like that?" He asked, trying to find an opening to ask her about Vaughn.  
  
"Smiling like what?" Sydney asked, as her smile grew even bigger. "I'm not smiling like anything. Congratulations, by the way. I haven't had a chance to tell you that yet."  
  
"Thanks. I'm just relieved to be gainfully employed again. Of course, my first question was how much vacation time I get every year," he said with a grin.  
  
"Will!" she laughed, shaking her head.  
  
"What? Vacation time is important for morale purposes. Remember how happy you were when you came back from Lake Tahoe?"  
  
"Yeah, I do." By now her smile was a full-blown grin, as she thought about the magical weekend she'd spent with Vaughn.  
  
"Speaking of Tahoe, it must be a pretty popular vacation spot."  
  
"Well, if you went there, you'd know why. You saw my pictures; it's gorgeous there," Sydney said over her shoulder as she reached into a cabinet for a bowl.  
  
"Hey, did you know that Vaughn was also in Lake Tahoe a couple of months ago?"  
  
Sydney froze when she heard Will's question, and she was glad that her back was turned to him so he couldn't see the shocked expression on her face. Had Vaughn slipped and mentioned to Will that he had also been in Lake Tahoe?  
  
"Uh, yeah, actually, I did know that. He and a friend of his went skiing." She walked back to the counter and poured a bowl of cereal.  
  
"A friend. Was it you?"  
  
Sydney took a deep breath and set the cereal box back down on the counter. She stared into her bowl as if a good answer to his question would magically appear amidst her corn flakes. "No, he went with one of his friends from college. Why would you think that Vaughn and I went on vacation together?"  
  
Will shrugged. "You were both in Tahoe at the same time, and you were in a really good mood when you came back. I just assumed that maybe the two of you had gone together."  
  
"We didn't go there together, Will," Sydney sighed. She knew that she should just leave it at that, but she also knew Will well enough to know that he wouldn't drop it that easily. "Vaughn and I didn't go together, but we ended up at the same ski resort, purely by coincidence. I was getting on the elevator the morning I arrived, and there he was."  
  
"Wow, that's pretty random. So did you hang out with him and his friend?"  
  
"No. His friend had to leave unexpectedly and he was already gone by the time I got there. So Vaughn and I ended up spending the weekend together -- alone," she said quietly.  
  
"Oh. Well that makes sense. I mean, you guys are friends, right?"  
  
"Well, we were, but -- " Sydney cut herself off abruptly as she went to the refrigerator for milk.  
  
"But what?" Will asked, wondering what she had been about to say.  
  
"Will, I'm not sure we should be discussing this. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Or maybe she didn't want to make herself uncomfortable. Sydney didn't know if Will still had feelings for her, but if so, the last thing she wanted to do was rub his nose in her relationship with Vaughn.  
  
"Syd, it's okay. You can talk to me about Vaughn, seriously." Will knew that part of his heart would always belong to her, but he had long since accepted that the two of them would never be more than friends, and that they were probably better off that way.  
  
Sydney looked at him dubiously. "Are you sure you want to hear about this?" He nodded. "I was saying before that Vaughn and I *were* friends before Tahoe, but since that weekend, we've been more than friends."  
  
"Are the two of you in a relationship?"  
  
"Yeah. I shouldn't even be telling you this, it's supposed to be a secret. If the wrong people found out, we could both end up dead," she admitted.  
  
Will didn't doubt that for a minute. Ever since he had been abducted by Sark, he was fully aware of the dangerous people that inhabited Sydney's world. He was surprised that Sydney would tempt fate just to be with Vaughn.   
  
"Syd, I hope you don't mind me asking, but is what you guys have worth the risk you're taking?"  
  
"Yes," Sydney said without hesitation. "Will, I'm in love with him."  
  
"Oh," Will said quietly. Even though his feelings for Sydney weren't the same as they once were, he couldn't help but feel a small stab of pain in his heart. At the same time, he couldn't help but be happy for her, especially seeing the way that her face lit up when she talked about Vaughn.  
  
"After Danny was murdered, I didn't think I would ever fall in love again. I certainly didn't expect to fall in love with my handler, but somewhere along the way, I did. I don't even know when it happened. It wasn't like I had an epiphany one day and realized that I loved him; it just snuck up on me. When we were in Tahoe, it was the first time that we got to have fun and be normal, and that's when I knew that I had to tell him how I felt."  
  
"And he feels the same way?" Will already knew the answer to his question. He couldn't imagine that any man lucky enough to be loved by Sydney Bristow wouldn't return her feelings.  
  
"Yeah, he does," Sydney smiled as she looked back down at the counter. "Actually, I think he was in love with me long before I realized how I felt about him. I don't have anything concrete to base that on, but ever since the day we met, he's done all these amazing things for me, things that went above and beyond friendship."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like risking his career and his life to help me rescue you in Taipei, and talking to my mother so I wouldn't have to face her, and breaking into the Vatican with me." She laughed when she saw the shocked expression on Will's face. "Yes, we broke into the Vatican once. And I never told you this, but my mother killed his father, and he's never once held that against me."  
  
"Wait, your mother, in addition to shooting you in Taipei, killed Vaughn's father? God, what kind of woman *is* she?"  
  
"I don't know. A few months ago, I would have said that she was an evil woman, but now I'm not so sure. Every time I think I think I have her figured out, she does something that throws me for another loop." She was tempted to tell Will about Fiji, but she thought better of it. Even though he was working for the CIA now, there were limits to how much she could tell him, and she knew she shouldn't tell him any details about the SD-6 operation.   
  
"So if your relationship with Vaughn is so top-secret," Will said, returning to their original topic, "how do you get to spend any time with him?"  
  
"With a lot of planning," she laughed. "We have to sneak around for now, which sucks. But one day, when SD-6 is gone, we'll be able to have a normal relationship -- well, as normal as a relationship between tow spies can be, anyway."  
  
"Can you wait that long?" Will asked skeptically.  
  
"I'll wait as long as it takes. He's worth it," she said softly. "In the meantime, I'm so grateful that I got to tell you about this. Not being able to tell anyone how I feel about Vaughn was killing me," she admitted.   
  
"So you're thanking me for being so nosy?" he asked with a grin.  
  
"Yeah, I am. I'm also thanking you for being such a good friend."  
  
He smiled back at her. "No problem. *You're* worth it."  
  
*****  
  
A week later, Sydney walked into a movie theater, her arms loaded with popcorn, a soda, and a box of candy. She had no intention of eating all of that, but she needed to look as if she was staying for the duration of the movie, in case she was being watched. The previews were already running and once her eyes adjusted to the dark, she saw Vaughn sitting in the far corner of the last row in the theater. The only other people in the theater were a middle aged couple sitting in the third row. She quickly climbed the stairs to the top row. Ordinarily, she would have sat in the row below him, a couple of seats over, but the theater was so empty, that she decided to take the risk of sitting next to him. Besides, she'd been careful to avoid tails, and she doubted that the sweet looking couple below them were working for SD-6 security section.  
  
"Hi," she whispered as she sat down next to Vaughn. She smiled when she noticed that he was dressed in jeans, a v-neck sweater and t-shirt. It was 1:30 on a Tuesday afternoon, and she surmised that he probably hadn't wanted to look conspicuous by wearing a suit to the movies.  
  
"Hi." He took the popcorn and candy from her, so she could get situated. "Hungry?" he smirked.  
  
"Shut up. I had to look like I was actually going to a movie, not meeting my handler to discuss my latest mission."  
  
"Good thinking," he said as he handed the food back to her and watched her place it on the seat next to her, He glanced around the theater quickly, and when she turned back to him, he leaned over and kissed her deeply. Her lips were warm and sweet and he tried to remember how he had managed to resist the urge to kiss for an entire year before Tahoe. He was just about to pull away from her when she grabbed his arm and pulled him back to her. They were both breathless when they finally broke apart.  
  
"God, I've missed you," she sighed. Other than a brief meeting before she left on her most recent mission, she hadn't seen him since they returned from Fiji.  
  
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I missed you too. How did things go in Kuala Lampur?"  
  
"Fine. Sloane has no idea that the CIA also has a vial of Phong's serum. The SD-6 vial is still in analysis, but as soon as I find out what Sloane's planning to do with it, I'll let you know."  
  
"Good. Our scientists think the serum may jump start cellular regeneration, but we're still trying to decipher Phong's research logs. If their theory is true, the Alliance might try to corner the market on the serum and charge a premium for it."  
  
"Sounds like something they'd do," Sydney agreed.  
  
"Is Sloane sending you anywhere else this week?"  
  
"I'm not sure yet, but I doubt it. He's leaving on Thursday for an Alliance meeting in Rome."  
  
"Is he leaving your dad in charge of the office?" Vaughn asked, sensing a possible opportunity to inflict more damage on SD-6.  
  
"Not this time. He's putting someone else in charge, a guy named Gerald Nichols."  
  
"I've heard of him. He's one of the original agents who knew the truth about SD-6 when it was formed, so you're going to have to be as careful as you would be with Sloane."  
  
"I know, and to make matters worse, if I'm not being sent on a mission, I won't get to see you for the rest of the week," she frowned.  
  
"So we'll just have to enjoy our time together right now," he smiled at her.  
  
"Are you serious? I just assumed we were both going to leave after I briefed you on my mission."  
  
"No, you can't go. I specifically chose this movie so we could spend some time together. It's three hours long, and it's gotten terrible reviews," he grinned. "I knew it would be perfect -- the theater is empty, and if the movie is as bad as the critics say it is, we won't miss much if we spend the next three hours making out."  
  
She giggled softly. "What, are we sixteen years old?"  
  
"We can pretend. Seriously, I just wanted to do at least one normal, date-type thing with you, and since I can't take you to the movies on a Friday night, I have to settle for a Tuesday afternoon."  
  
"The CIA *pays* you for this kind of strategic planning?" She knew she had a goofy grin on her face, but she didn't care. She was at a movie with Vaughn, and it seemed so refreshingly normal, even if it was the middle of the day and they were watching a crappy movie. Her whole body tingled when he took her hand in his, and she thanked the inventor of stadium seats as she scooted closer to him and leaned her head on his shoulder. They silently watched the movie for a few minutes until Sydney broke the silence.  
  
"Will knows about us," she whispered.  
  
"You told him about us?" Vaughn asked with surprise.   
  
"Yeah, I had to after you told him that you were in Lake Tahoe at the same time that I was."  
  
"What? I never told Will about my vacation."  
  
"Well, if you didn't tell him how did he . . . "  
  
They looked at each other and smiled. "Weiss," they said in unison.  
  
"After a few beers, Weiss will tell you anything you want to know," Vaughn said with a wry smile. "So what did Will say?"  
  
"Not much. I think he was mostly just trying to get me to admit that we were there together. I thought you should know since you might be working with him. But don't worry, we can trust him. He won't tell anyone."  
  
"I hope you're right. So is Will really that good at digging for the truth? I can't believe you would crack so easily," he grinned.  
  
"Truthfully, I didn't really try to evade his questions. I know I probably should have," she said quickly when she saw the surprised look on Vaughn's face, "but it was such a relief to finally tell someone the truth about us. It was the first time I admitted my feelings to someone other than you." She pulled her head back from his shoulder and looked him in the eye. "Don't take this the wrong way, but our relationship is so secretive that sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure that I'm not making it all up in my head. Telling Will made it seem real, somehow. Does that make any sense?"  
  
"Yeah, it does. I feel the same way sometimes. After your Christmas surprise, I know Weiss has probably figured out that something is going on between us, but I still haven't told him the whole truth. He doesn't even know that you were in Tahoe when I was."  
  
"You could tell him. I mean, I told Will," Sydney shrugged.  
  
"Maybe," Vaughn said noncommittally. Even though Weiss had resolved to stop lecturing him about protocol, Vaughn still wasn't sure that he could or should tell Weiss the whole truth. He didn't want to put Weiss in the position of possibly having to lie to protect him and Sydney if anyone ever found out about them.   
  
"This is all so complicated," Sydney sighed. "Do you ever ask yourself whether it's worth all the trouble?"  
  
"No," he said in a harsh whisper. "I *never* question that. Why, do you?" he asked uneasily.   
  
"No," she answered truthfully. "I know the circumstances of our relationship aren't ideal, and I know that there are a million reasons -- good reasons -- why we shouldn't be together, but none of that matters to me. I love you, that makes all the risk worth it."  
  
"You're gonna have to keep telling yourself that, Sydney. It's hard to make a relationship work under the best of circumstances. Given everything that we're up against, it's going to be even harder. So if things get tough -- when they get tough," his voice broke, "just remind yourself that I love you and that what we have is worth fighting for."  
  
"I will," she assured him. She knew that Vaughn was right, inevitably there would be rough patches in their relationship. But right now, while everything was so new and so wonderful between them, she hated to even consider the possibility that they might not be always be that way.   
  
"But you need to remind *yourself* that you're stuck with me now. You can't weasel your way out of this," she smiled, trying to lighten the serious mood that had descended over them.  
  
He laughed. "Believe me, I won't try." He turned onto his side to face her and traced his finger along her jaw and throat. "Sydney," he said intensely, "you're a part of me now. I couldn't free myself from you even if I wanted to -- and I don't," he added firmly.   
  
He moved his finger up to trace her lips and she shivered under his touch. His eyes were smoldering with love and desire for her, and she felt as if she was being hypnotically drawn to him. The moment she leaned in to him, their lips met in a slow, sensual kiss that sent a jolt of electricity through both of them. Instinctively, his hand moved to her hip and he pulled her closer to him, so close that he could feel the heat radiating from her body. His body was soon responding to her, and he silently cursed himself for choosing to meet with her in a public place. He would give anything to be in the warehouse or the bloodmobile right now, where he could act on his feverish desire for her. As it was, he was dangerously close to acting on it,anyway. His mind was telling him to break away from her and regain his self-control, but his mouth and his hands refused to obey. He felt himself drowning in her until she gently pulled away from him and ran her fingers through her hair. He fell back in his seat and closed his eyes as he tried to catch his breath.   
  
When Vaughn opened his eyes, he found Sydney staring back at him, her eyes reflecting all of the heat that had been in his own eyes just a few minutes ago. The intensity of her gaze was so strong that he could barely breathe or move. She quickly turned her head over her shoulder and looked at the couple sitting in the front of the theater. They were engrossed in the movie, oblivious to the couple in the back of the theater. Sydney turned back to him with a seductive smile on her face. He knew what that look meant, and he was powerless to protest; she was irresistible and he was putty in her hands. His view of the screen was soon obstructed as she climbed onto his lap and straddled him.  
  
"Syd," he half groaned, half laughed.  
  
"Shhh." She placed a finger over his lips and smiled mischievously. "We're sixteen, remember?" Before he could respond, they were kissing again, tongues dancing, hands roaming, bodies melting into each other.   
  
As Vaughn drove home, he couldn't remember a single scene from the movie they had seen. All he could remember was how he and Sydney had spent three hours laughing, talking, and making out like a couple of teenagers. All in all, it was the best time he'd ever had at the movies.  
  
  
TBC . . . 


	8. Not a Big Deal

Chapter 8: "Not a Big Deal"  
  
  
Sydney absently fiddled with the diamond pendant around her neck as she leaned forward in her airline seat and looked out through the window. When she and Dixon had boarded their flight three hours ago, she'd been thinking about Vaughn and now, as the plane made its descent into L.A., she was still thinking about him. She took a quick glance at her watch and saw that it was 9:15. By the time she made it out of the airport and drove to the warehouse, it would probably be a little after ten. She sighed and wondered how she was going to survive the next hour when she was already so impatient to see Vaughn.  
  
"Syd, looking at your watch isn't going to make the plane land any faster," Dixon chuckled.  
  
She turned to him with a sheepish smile. "Have I been doing that a lot?"  
  
"Let's put it this way . . . if I had ten dollars for every time you looked at your watch since we left Vancouver, I'd have enough money to put both of my kids through college *and* grad school."  
  
She laughed and shook her head. "Sorry. I'm just anxious to get back home."  
  
"Yeah, after what happened last night, I don't blame you."  
  
Sydney nodded and looked back out at the twinkling lights of the city below them. She had spent the entire flight thinking about Vaughn, but she had also spent it trying *not* to think about the previous night's mission. She and Dixon had been sent to attend a gallery opening where their mission was to switch and steal a centuries-old manuscript believed to contain a key code for a section of the Rambaldi book they'd recovered in Argentina. The manuscript was stored in a vault, to which Sydney had gained surprisingly easy access. She found the manuscript, photographed it for her CIA countermission, switched it with an SD-6 fake, and safely made her way out of the vault. She had been on her way to meet back up with Dixon when she passed by the gallery curator's office and ducked inside. She knew she was taking a huge risk by improvising her countermission, but she desperately wanted to give the CIA a head start in deciphering the decoded sections of the Rambaldi book. So instead of waiting to deaddrop the small camera Vaughn had given her, she decided to use the curator's computer to upload the photographs onto the CIA's secure server. Her impulsive act had sparked a small disagreement between her and Vaughn as they communicated via her CIA comm link. He had warned her not to risk getting caught in the curator's office or raising Dixon's suspicions, but she eventually convinced him that the benefit to the CIA far outweighed the risk of either of those things happening. Her instincts had proven correct until she left the curator's office and came face to face with a security guard. She eventually knocked the guard out, but when their altercation was over, she had a four inch knife cut to show for her efforts.   
  
She gently touched her left side and winced slightly. It hurt, but she was so used to coming home with scrapes and bruises from her missions that the pain hardly fazed her anymore. It did, however, make her start thinking about Vaughn all over again. Her spine tingled as she remembered their weekend in Lake Tahoe. The first night that they'd made love, Vaughn had studied every inch of her body, asking her about each of her battle scars and lovingly kissing them "to make sure they're fully healed." She'd returned the favor, "healing" the scar on his shoulder where he'd once been shot on a mission and the scar on his knee, the result of surgery following a hockey injury. Sydney wasn't thrilled about having her body marred by yet another scar, but she couldn't help but smile when she imagined Vaughn's lips kissing the pain away.  
  
She leaned back in her seat and turned her wrist to check her watch again, but caught herself when she saw Dixon's smirking reflection in the window. She giggled and shook her head back at him. Only Vaughn could make her this antsy, she mused. Over the past few months, she'd found herself classifying all her time as either Time Spent with Vaughn or Time Not Spent with Vaughn, and lately she spent all her time without him wishing that she was with him.   
  
Despite their constant desire to spend every waking moment with each other, they had gradually found a way to balance their professional and personal relationships. In an unexpected way, their blossoming personal relationship had actually improved their professional performance as a team. Because he was terrified at the thought of anything happening to her, Vaughn had become meticulous in planning Sydney's countermissions, reviewing them with a fine tooth comb, anticipating anything and everything that could go wrong, and preparing for every contingency. In turn, Sydney approached each new mission with determined zeal, knowing that each countermission brought her another step closer to her ultimate goal. The combination of their hard work and the intel provided by Irina's disks had led to numerous CIA successes in the past few months, a fact which did not go unnoticed by their superiors. Agents Vaughn and Bristow had received several glowing evaluations in their files, and even Jack seemed impressed by the progress they were making.  
  
The best thing about each new CIA victory, however, was that it led to their own private victory celebration. At the joint ops center and at CIA headquarters, Agents Vaughn and Bristow exchanged congratulations and chaste smiles of accomplishment and appreciation for each others' abilities. It was only when they were alone together that they were able to properly celebrate their achievements, and they did so, coming together with feverish passion and taking delight in each others bodies and company. It was during those times that they reminded themselves what they were fighting for and dared to dream of a future together. It was the memory of those times that was making Sydney so impatient to land in L.A.  
  
A short while later, after she'd left Dixon at the airport, Sydney arrived at the warehouse. She felt like breaking into a run to meet Vaughn, but forced herself to remain calm and walk like a normal person. She was powerless, however, to fight the grin that emerged when she reached the gate and saw Vaughn sitting on a crate. As he hopped down from the crate and approached her, her eyes swept appreciatively over his body. He was wearing jeans and a dark green pullover that made his eyes appear even more green than usual. She realized at that moment how much she had missed him, and delighted in the way that his eyes lit up as soon as he saw her. Whenever he smiled at her like that, she felt as if they were the only two people in the world.  
  
Before she could even speak, he placed his hands on the sides of her face and gave her a long, slow kiss. She melted into his embrace and moved her hands over his shoulders and back as the kiss deepened. She was lightheaded when he finally broke the kiss and looked down into her eyes.  
  
"Hi," she said breathlessly.  
  
"Welcome home," he grinned. He pulled her closer to him and held her tightly, letting the sound of her breathing reassure him that she was home and safe. "You did an amazing job in Vancouver," he murmured into her hair.  
  
She pulled her head back slightly and smiled up at him. "Thanks. Have the guys in analysis cracked the code yet?"  
  
"Yeah, they broke it early this evening, so we should have the pages translated in the next day or two. We're gonna have a big head start on Sloane, thanks to you."  
  
"See, I told you it was a good idea to upload the photos," she said triumphantly.  
  
"Yes, you did," he admitted. "Don't worry, I'll be sure to give you all the credit when I write my report."  
  
She giggled. "You'd better. Don't think that I won't get a copy of it to make sure that you did."  
  
"What, you don't trust me?" he asked with mock offense.  
  
She looked into his eyes and almost melted when she saw all the love that was reflected in them. She trusted him with her life, her heart, her everything. "Yeah, I trust you," she said softly. Her fingers grazed his chin, and she pulled him into another kiss, letting her tongue explore his mouth for what seemed like an eternity. She was lost in the feel of his mouth on hers when he slowly ran his hands along her sides. When his right hand pressed just above her left hip, she flinched and inhaled sharply. Vaughn gently pushed her away from him and looked at her closely.  
  
"Syd, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?"  
  
She felt awful when she looked back at him. The beautiful eyes that had burned with love and passion just moments ago were now clouded with concern. She hated to see him worry about her and she briefly considered lying to him, but decided against it.  
  
"Vaughn, I'm fine," she sighed. "I just had a run in with a security guard last night, and you hit a sensitive spot, that's all."  
  
"That's all? It sounded like you were in a lot of pain, Syd." He quickly unbuttoned the lower half of her shirt and pushed it aside. He was prepared to see an ugly purple bruise but gasped when he saw a large white bandage taped to her abdomen instead. "God, what happened to you?"  
  
"Nothing. It's not that big a deal, it just looks -- " He cut her off with a stern look.  
  
"Don't lie to me, Sydney. I could easily pull back the bandage and take a look for myself."  
  
He moved her over to a table, sat her on it, and stood in front of her. She tilted her head back and sighed. She could tell by the serious expression on his face that he wasn't going to let her avoid his questions.   
  
"Like I said, I had a fight with a security guard at the gallery, and he nicked me with a pocket knife."  
  
"He *nicked* you?" Vaughn asked disbelievingly. He fixed a hard stare on her, and she couldn't help but be impressed by his interrogation technique.  
  
"Okay, it was more than a nick," she admitted. "He cut me and it bled for a while, but when Dixon and I got back to the hotel, he cleaned it and dressed it. It's really not that bad. It's a little sore, but I'm fine. Honest."  
  
"You need to go to a doctor and make sure that it's not infected."  
  
"Vaughn, please -- "  
  
He cut her off again. "Tomorrow, you *will* go see someone in medical services. End of discussion." His voice was firm and she knew better than to argue with him.  
  
"Fine, I'll go see someone, but you're completely overreacting. It's barely a scratch, Vaughn. Geez, if it were up to you, we'd be in the emergency room by now," she teased.  
  
"Sydney, your health is nothing to joke about," he said sharply. "Anyway, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. None of our intel suggested that there would be guards outside the vault. Did SD-6 warn you about guards?"  
  
"Actually, the guard wasn't outside the vault; I ran into him when I was coming out of the curator's office."  
  
"What?" Vaughn asked with disbelief. "So you never would have been cut if you hadn't gone to the curator's office to upload the photos?"  
  
"I guess not," she shrugged, "but what's the big deal?"  
  
"Syd," he said with an exasperated sigh, "the big deal is that you were injured and it was completely avoidable. I knew I shouldn't have let you stop to upload those pictures."  
  
"Shouldn't have *let* me?" Sydney made a face. "Vaughn, you couldn't have stopped me; you weren't even there."  
  
"But I could have stood my ground with you and told you to, under no circumstances, go to the curator's office."  
  
Sydney scoffed. "Yeah, I guess you *could've* told me that, but I wouldn't have listened. It took me like two minutes to get in and out of the office. And, yes, I ran into the guard, but after he cut me, I knocked him out and got away. Vaughn, it was *so* not a big deal, and I can't believe that you're actually upset over this. I've had worse injuries than a knife cut and you know that, so why are you freaking out so much over this?"  
  
"Sydney, it *is* a big deal," he said urgently. "You're lucky that you weren't seriously injured, but you could've been, all because you took an unnecessary risk. I never should have let you do that. It's my job to make your countermissions as simple and safe as possible, and I failed at that when I let you talk me into uploading the photos."  
  
She shook her head. "Vaughn, you're being way too hard on yourself. You didn't fail at anything and the countermission was a success. You said yourself that I did a great job, and now we have a *huge* advantage over SD-6. When you take all of that into account, my injury is so insignificant."  
  
"It's not insignificant to me, Sydney," Vaughn said, his voice soft and pained. "Every time you go away, I spend the whole time praying that nothing will happen to you and last night, something did. I know that you weren't seriously injured, but you could have been."   
  
"But I *wasn't,*" she said firmly. "Look at me. I'm sitting in front of you right now, and I'm fine, Vaughn." She refused to let him blame himself for what happened to her.  
  
Vaughn looked down at the floor and sighed deeply. Sydney was right, her wound was almost superficial and she had experienced far worse. If he had been dealing with any other agent, he wouldn't have given the injury a second thought. But Sydney wasn't any other agent, and he couldn't stand the thought of her getting so much as a scratch while she was out in the field. Over the past few months, he had done an admirable job of separating his personal and professional feelings for her, but now was one of the times when he simply couldn't do that. He knew that the reason he overreacted to her injury was because he loved her so much, and not because her mission could have been compromised.   
  
When he looked back up at her, her brown eyes were warm and sparkling. He could tell that she was amused by his overreaction, but when she looked at him that way, he found it impossible to be upset with her.  
  
"Syd," he said with a frustrated sigh.  
  
"Michael," she smiled as she mimicked his tone. "It's nothing, seriously." She was relieved when he finally let out a small laugh. "Why are you laughing?"  
  
"Because you just called me Michael."  
  
"That *is* your name, isn't it?"  
  
"You never call me Michael, but I like the way it sounds coming from your lips," he smiled.  
  
"Even when I say it sarcastically like I just did?" she laughed.  
  
"Yeah, even then. Where did that come from, all of a sudden?"  
  
"I wanted you to stop worrying about me, and I could tell that the person giving me such a hard time was Michael, my concerned boyfriend, and not Agent Vaughn, who *knows* that what happened was not a big deal. Right?"  
  
He gave her a sheepish smile. "Yes, you're right. Syd, I know that it's just a cut and that it's nothing to be overly concerned about, but the thought of anything ever happening to you . . . you're the most important person in my life."  
  
The emotion in his voice almost broke Sydney's heart. She knew that Vaughn worried about her constantly, but she hadn't realized until now how difficult it must be for him to let her go on mission after dangerous mission. She placed her hands on his chest and looked him in the eye.  
  
"Hey," she said softly, "I would never ask you to stop worrying about me, because first of all, I know that you wouldn't, and second, I love that you're so protective of me. I promise that I'll be more careful in the future. I promise."  
  
"I'm going to hold you to that promise, Sydney. And you're still going to medical services tomorrow -- no arguments," he said when she opened her mouth to protest.  
  
"Okay," she nodded. She gave him a sweet smile and pulled him closer to her. "Are we done arguing?"  
  
"For the moment," he laughed.  
  
"So is it safe to ask you to kiss me now?"  
  
"Well, I wouldn't say that. There's *always* danger involved when I kiss you."  
  
"What danger?" she asked as he kissed her neck.  
  
"The danger that I may not *stop* kissing you," he murmured as his lips moved to her throat. "The danger that I might not be satisfied with just a kiss, and the danger that I might be tempted to do more than just kiss you . . ."  
  
"That's the best kind of danger," she smiled. Once he began kissing her in earnest, her pain was all but forgotten until he drew his head back and looked at her. His eyes were intense and focused, but she could see the playfulness lurking behind them. "What?"  
  
"Say my name again," he said with a sexy smile. She would do absolutely anything for him when he smiled at her like that.  
  
"Michael," she whispered as she pulled him back into another kiss.  
  
  
  
TBC . . . 


	9. A Mile High

A/N: Hi guys! Sorry for the long wait for a new chapter. Blame the NFL Playoffs and real life for getting in the way. Also, I needed a few days to recover after watching "The Getaway." JJ needs to slap a warning on his show if he's gonna let Vaughn be that sexy. Whew! Anyway, thanks for reading.  
  
  
  
Chapter 9: "A Mile High"  
  
  
Sydney breezed into the warehouse, where she found Vaughn already waiting for her. He turned around at the sound of her footsteps and she instantly broke into a smile when she saw his face. It never failed to amaze her that the mere sight of him could brighten her mood so quickly.  
  
"Hey." Vaughn's eyes were warm but she could tell by his professional demeanor that they were on the clock right now.  
  
"Hi. Can you believe Sloane is turning me into an errand girl?" she asked with a frown. She had been "asked" to fly to Paris, pick up a package from the head of SD-7, and deliver it back to Sloane.  
  
Vaughn laughed at her insulted expression. "Do you have any idea of what this mysterious package is?"  
  
"Nope. Whatever it is, Sloane's not telling, but it must be fairly important if he's sending me to get it, rather than a junior agent or a courier."  
  
"Okay, then I guess we'll have to wait until the return flight to see what it is."  
  
"*We*?" Sydney asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Yeah," Vaughn nodded. "I'm going to be on your flight to Paris."  
  
"Why?" She wasn't at all unhappy that Vaughn was going to accompany her on her trip, but she didn't understand why it was necessary when all she was doing was picking up a package. "Does Kendall know that you're making up countermissions just so you can be alone with me?" she grinned.  
  
"You wish," he smirked. "Actually, our tech guys picked up something on the bug that you planted in Sloane's house last year."  
  
"Really? What was it?"  
  
"Apparently Sloane had a visitor the other night, Nicole Marchand, the daughter of Didier Marchand."  
  
"The head of SD-7," Sydney said, recognizing the name.  
  
"The very one. From what we gathered, Nicole was here in L.A. visiting some friends, but the other night, she dropped in on her Uncle Arvin and he gave her a 'gift' to give to her father."  
  
"Hmm. I'm guessing this gift really isn't a *gift* at all."  
  
"Depends on what your idea of a gift is," Vaughn shrugged. "Sloane told Nicole that it's a laptop that's not available on the market yet, and he wanted her father to have one. But your father believes there are files on the hard drive containing the specs for a new series of automatic weapons that the Alliance is developing. We think they're planning to mass produce the weapons and sell them to rogue nations and terrorist organizations, so obviously, we want the information on that laptop. When we checked to see what flight Nicole was on, we realized it was the same flight that you specified in your deaddrop. I'll be on the same flight with both of you so I can create a distraction while you grab the laptop and download the specs."  
  
"Sounds like fun," Sydney said with a wry smile. She longed for the day when she could be on a plane with Vaughn, sitting next to him, headed for a destination unrelated to any mission or countermission.  
  
He gave her a sympathetic smile in return. "Well, it's bound to be more entertaining than the in-flight movie." He took a quick glance at his watch, then leaned forward and kissed her on the neck, just below her ear. "I need to go home and pack, so I'll see you at the airport, okay?"  
  
"Okay. See you then." She waited five minutes after he left, then turned out the lights and made her own exit.  
  
*****  
  
Later that afternoon, Sydney was flipping through a magazine in an airport store when she felt the presence of someone standing next to her. She tried to fight a smile, but couldn't.   
  
"Fancy meeting you here," she said without looking up from her magazine.  
  
"Yeah, what a coincidence," Vaughn said in a low voice, barely suppressing his own smile. "What are you reading?" he asked as he picked up a sports magazine.  
  
She turned slightly and held the magazine up to him. She looked at him quizzically when he laughed. "What?"  
  
"Fifty ways to please your man?" Vaughn asked, glancing at the cover. "You don't need to read an article for that. You've got that covered, trust me."  
  
She shot him a dimpled grin and leaned over to nudge him slightly. "I wasn't reading *that* article."  
  
"Good. You should be *writing* an article like that."  
  
She pretended to consider his suggestion. "I might, but only if you promise to provide me with source material."  
  
"Definitely." He put his magazine back, moved to the opposite side of her, and picked up a new magazine. "Before I forget, what seat are you in?"   
  
"4C. What about you?"  
  
"3A. Nicole is in 3B."  
  
Sydney's head shot up from her magazine. "You're sitting right next to her?"  
  
"Yeah. The airline was more than happy to change the seating arrangements when the CIA came calling. Anyway, just keep an eye on us so you'll know when to go for the laptop."  
  
"Okay." She watched as Vaughn walked away to pay for his magazine. If he was going to be sitting next to another woman for the duration of the flight, she was sure she wouldn't be able to tear her eyes away from them.  
  
A few minutes later, Sydney boarded the flight. When she stepped into the first class cabin, she couldn't resist taking a quick glance at seat 3B. She was stunned to see a gorgeous redhead occupying the seat. That *cannot* be Nicole, she thought. The redheaded woman was wearing tastefully expensive clothes, and appeared to be in her mid-twenties, with bright blue eyes and a sophisticated chin-length bob. She looked like supermodel, and Sydney suddenly felt a pang of anxiety at the thought that Vaughn was about to spend the next eleven hours sitting next to her. She shook her head and tried to focus, reminding herself that she had a job to do later in the flight. She glanced in the overhead compartment above Nicole's seat and saw only a silver case inside. She made a mental note of it, guessing that the case contained the laptop.   
  
She was just getting settled in her seat when she looked up and saw Vaughn enter the cabin. His eyes briefly locked on hers, and she felt her pulse quicken. His facial expression was neutral, but she instantly saw the almost imperceptible smile in his eyes. She momentarily felt better until Vaughn found his seat. When Nicole stood up to let him into his seat, Sydney noticed the way that her eyes traveled the length of his body. When she sat back down, she wore an almost predatory look on her beautiful face. Sydney scowled and wished for the first time that Vaughn wasn't as gorgeous as he was. Now that he had obviously drawn Nicole's attention, Sydney had a sinking feeling that this was going to be the longest flight of her life.  
  
*****  
  
Two hours after takeoff, Sydney was absolutely miserable as she sat next to a young mother and her two small children, one of whom kept squirming in her seat and splattering Sydney with droplets from her juice box. Ordinarily, Sydney adored children – she couldn't wait to have her own one day – but at the moment, she was in no mood to be bothered with the ones sitting next to her, not even the adorable baby who sat in his mother's lap. Between the children's restlessness and the constant sound of laughter coming from seat 3B, Sydney's nerves were completely on edge. She flinched as another drop of juice hit her square in the eye.  
  
"Elizabeth!" the little girl's mother snapped as she grabbed the juice box away from her. "I thought I told you to stop banging that on the table." She glanced over at Sydney with an apologetic smile. "I'm so sorry, you must want to strangle her by now."  
  
"Not at all," Sydney lied with a forced smile.  
  
"You're sweet to say that, but *I* want to strangle her right now, so I can only imagine how you must feel. I bet this is making you want to never have children," she laughed.  
  
Sydney craned her neck slightly and glanced over at Vaughn. "No, actually it's not," she said with a genuine smile. One day, she definitely wanted to have *his* children. She would just make sure that they were better behaved than little Elizabeth.  
  
"It's funny what meeting the right guy can do to you," the children's mother nodded. "I never thought I wanted kids until I met Jeremy," she said, leaning forward and gesturing to the man across the aisle from Sydney.  
  
Sydney's eyes widened. "This is your husband? I wish I would have known. I could have let you all sit together."  
  
"Oh, it's not a big deal," the mother said, waving her hand. "Trust me, Elizabeth and JJ would be no better behaved if he was sitting in your seat. He spoils them rotten, especially his little girl," she said with an amused eyeroll. Sydney smiled, imagining a day when a little girl might have Vaughn wrapped around her finger.  
  
"Seriously, I insist. I hate it when families don't get to sit together on planes. It's really not a problem, honest," she said as she gathered her purse and belongings.  
  
"Are you sure?" the mother asked skeptically before Sydney nodded. She leaned forward to catch her husband's attention. "Jeremy, sweetie, this nice woman offered to switch seats with you."  
  
A few minutes later, Sydney sat back in Jeremy's former seat. She smiled with satisfaction as she opened a magazine – not only had she gotten away from the devilish Elizabeth, but she was now seated directly behind Nicole and when she looked through the space between the seats in front of her, she had a bird's eye view of Vaughn's handsome face. Her smile quickly turned into a frown, however, when she once again heard the tinkling sound of Nicole's laughter. She and Vaughn had found plenty to talk about during the last two hours, and they were still engaged in animated conversation with each other. The cabin lights dimmed and Sydney looked at the video monitor attached to her seat. She told herself that she should watch one of the mindless sitcoms being shown, so she wouldn't have to listen to the nauseating sound of Nicole's laughter. But she was curious to know what Nicole and Vaughn could possibly have to talk about, and she couldn't stop herself from eavesdropping.   
  
"So how often do you get to Paris on business?" Nicole asked, taking a sip of white wine. Sydney was surprised not to hear any trace of a French accent.  
  
"Every other week or so. I'm helping my firm get its Paris office up and running, so I've been taking a lot of meetings with our European clients."  
  
"No offense, Paul, but you're much too attractive to be a tax attorney," Nicole said flirtatiously.  
  
"None taken," Vaughn laughed. "You know, everyone thinks that tax attorneys are all boring, balding fat guys, but that's not true. We like to have as much fun as the next guy."  
  
"And what kind of things do you do to have fun?" she asked with a seductive purr.  
  
"All kinds of things. I like movies and museums and playing sports -- "  
  
"I knew it! I could tell you were athletic. You definitely have an athlete's body," she said appreciatively as she grabbed Vaughn's arm and pushed back the sleeve of his sweater. "See how well developed your forearms are?" she asked as she lightly ran her fingers from his wrist to just below his elbow. "That's a classic sign."  
  
Vaughn took a long look at Nicole. She certainly wasn't afraid to be forward. For the past two and a half hours she had been relentlessly flirting with him, which had unknowingly made his job easier. He had actually been planning to distract her by flirting with her, but she had taken the initiative and run with it. He would have been flattered by the attention if it weren't for the fact that his heart already belonged to someone else, someone who was now sitting just one row behind them.   
  
When Sydney first switched seats with the man sitting behind Nicole, excitement had raced through Vaughn's body – being in close proximity to her always caused that reaction. But his excitement soon turned to vague unease as Nicole continued to flirt with him. When she touched his arm, he could almost feel the heat of Sydney's glare behind him. He couldn't imagine how she must be reacting to what was going on in front of her, and he cringed at the thought that things were probably only going to get worse.  
  
"You sound like you've spent a lot of time studying athletes' bodies, Nicole," he said smoothly.  
  
She swept her hair behind her ear and gave him a confident smile. "I spend a lot of time studying men's bodies in general. There's nothing I love more than looking at beautiful men, and you certainly fall into that category."  
  
Sydney swallowed hard and rolled her eyes. Was this woman for real? She couldn't believe how thickly Nicole was laying it on. She loudly cleared her throat, which caused Vaughn to peek at her through the seats and shoot her an apologetic smile for what he was about to say next.  
  
"What a coincidence. *I* love looking at beautiful women, and it's been a long time since I've enjoyed doing that as much as I am right now."  
  
Sydney opened her mouth in disbelief and felt heat rising on the back of her neck and her ears. She felt as if she was in the middle of a nightmare that she couldn't wake up from.  
  
Nicole laughed once again. "Paul, are you trying to flatter me?"  
  
"That depends," Vaughn said in a low voice. "Is it working?"  
  
"Better than you know."  
  
Sydney rubbed her temples and closed her eyes, feeling as if she was going to be sick. It suddenly occurred to her that she had never thought to ask Vaughn exactly how he planned to distract Nicole, but now she had her answer – he was going to flirt with her for who knows how long until Sydney had an opportunity to access the laptop. Even though she knew it was all an act, she couldn't stand to hear Vaughn laughing and pretending to enjoy another woman's company, especially when he was so good at it. She knew from personal experience that when Michael Vaughn turned on the charm, he was irresistible and impossible to say no to. Unfortunately, Nicole seemingly had no intention of resisting him, and even less intention of letting him resist *her*.   
  
Sydney pressed the button to summon a flight attendant and ordered a vodka tonic. Normally, she would never drink while she was on a mission, but she definitely needed a few drinks if she was going to make it through the rest of this flight.  
  
Two drinks later, Sydney felt slightly more relaxed and listened as Nicole told Vaughn about her years at boarding school in New Hampshire and college at NYU.  
  
"Mystery solved," Vaughn smiled. "I was wondering why your English was so flawless. And I can't believe you went to boarding school in New Hampshire. I went to college at Dartmouth."  
  
"You didn't!" Nicole exclaimed.  
  
He did, Sydney thought with a scowl. She couldn't believe Vaughn had told Nicole something about himself that was actually true. She liked it better when he had been lying to her and pretending to be interested in her. Now that he was telling her things about himself that were true, she felt her irritation growing again. She didn't want Nicole knowing anything about *her* Vaughn, and she certainly didn't want him offering up more details about his life. She knew that she was being slightly irrational, but she didn't care. She turned her head to look at the man seated next to her, directly behind Vaughn. When she noticed that he was sleeping, she reached forward and shoved Vaughn's seat, firm enough for him to feel it, but not so hard as to attract Nicole's attention. When he turned and glanced at her with a bewildered expression, she shot him a look of death. He shrugged and even though she knew he wasn't enjoying this any more than she was, she felt the strange urge to punch him.  
  
She took a deep breath and tried to calm down. She knew it was wrong to wish physical harm on him when he was merely doing his job. How many times had she herself flirted with men in order to carry out a mission? None of those men had ever meant anything to her, so why was she freaking out simply because Vaughn was using his flirting skills to complete this mission? She reached down into her carry-on and removed her CD player, hoping that music would help her focus her thoughts elsewhere.  
  
An hour later, she was in a much better mood, the music having calmed her and soothed her restless mind. The cabin was now completely dark and everyone was sleeping – everyone except the couple in front of her, who were now talking in low, hushed tones. As she turned off her CD player, she wished that there was some way she could turn Nicole's mouth off as well. Sydney was growing impatient waiting for her to fall asleep so she could get the laptop and copy the files the CIA wanted.   
  
Vaughn was also impatiently waiting for Nicole to fall asleep. Even though he hadn't done anything wrong, he felt guilty as hell that Sydney had to experience the discomfort of watching them together. Suddenly Nicole stood up, and he was grateful that he would soon have a chance to talk to Sydney. He was stunned, however, when Nicole bent down and whispered in his ear.  
  
"I'm going to the lavatory. Meet me in the one upstairs on the right in two minutes." Vaughn watched as she turned and headed for the stairs to the upper deck of the plane. He swallowed hard and rubbed his forehead. Had he been flirting so much that she thought he wanted to have sex with her? He hadn't been anticipating this development, but he realized that it would make Sydney's job easier. It would be much easier for her to copy the files from the laptop if Nicole was gone for a while than it would be if she was merely sleeping in her seat. He suddenly knew what he had to do and nervously ran his fingers through his hair as he stood up and turned to face Sydney.  
  
"Hey, I'm sorry that you had to listen to all that," he whispered.  
  
"So am I," she said with a raised eyebrow. She tried to look angry at him, but the expression on his face was so sweetly apologetic that she instantly forgave him for making the last five hours of her life a living hell.  
  
"I'll make it up to you, I promise," he smiled.  
  
"You'd better believe it," she shot back.  
  
Vaughn opened the overhead compartment, removed the silver case, and placed it on Sydney's tray table. "How much time do you think you'll need?"  
  
"A few minutes, five at the most."  
  
"Okay, I'll try to keep her occupied for that long."  
  
Sydney nodded, but her head shot up when his words sank in. "Wait, what do you mean, you'll keep her *occupied*?"  
  
Vaughn gulped as a guilty look flashed across his face. "Uh, she's waiting for me upstairs."  
  
"What?!" Sydney asked with a loud whisper. "She's *waiting* for you? Waiting for you to do what?"  
  
Vaughn tilted his head and met her eyes, wordlessly answering her question. "I shouldn't keep her waiting, and we're wasting valuable time right now."  
  
"Vaughn!" The man next to Sydney stirred slightly, and she lowered her voice. "Are you out of your mind?"  
  
"Sydney, come on. She's given us a golden opportunity, and we can't afford to waste it. So hurry up and copy the files, and I'll be back in a few minutes."   
  
Before she could protest further, Vaughn had already disappeared up the stairs. Her mind raced furiously as she used a descrambler to open the locked case. As she waited for the computer to boot up, she tried to focus on her task, but her mind kept wondering what was going on upstairs. She knew that Vaughn would stop things if they got out of hand, but she still hated the thought of Nicole's hands being anywhere near him. Finally, she located the files she was looking for and began to copy them onto her disk. She prayed that the copying process would go quickly so she could free Vaughn from Nicole's clutches.  
  
*****  
  
Vaughn took a deep breath and knocked on the lavatory door. Nicole opened it with a seductive smile and he forced a smile of his own as he stepped inside. As soon as he closed the door behind him, she pushed him against it and kissed him. He was caught completely off guard, and gently pushed her away.   
  
"Whoa, we should slow this down a bit."  
  
"Sorry," Nicole smiled. "I don't usually do this," she murmured as she kissed his neck, "but you are unbelievably sexy, and I've wanted you since the moment you sat down next to me."  
  
No kidding, he thought, as he reached into his pocket and removed a small round object. Nicole was one of the most aggressive women he'd ever met, and she was all over him. He knew that there would be no easy way out of this situation, and Sydney still needed a few more minutes to copy the files. So he forced himself to take one for the team, and bent down to kiss her. Even though the kiss was devoid of emotion or desire, he still felt as if he was cheating on Sydney, and he vowed to pull out all the stops to make it up to her. As he silently calculated how much money he would soon be spending on flowers, he felt Nicole's hand moving along the inside of his thigh and then brushing over his crotch. He flinched slightly and broke the kiss.  
  
She leaned back and looked at him with flashing blue eyes. "Why are you stopping?"  
  
He raised his arm behind her and took a quick glance at his watch. He had been gone for six minutes. He prayed that it had been enough time for Sydney, because he was about to end the charade right now. "Nicole, we shouldn't – *I*shouldn't be doing this."  
  
"Yes. Yes, you should," she whispered as she leaned in to kiss him again. "*We* should do this right now. Don't tell me you don't want me, Paul."  
  
Vaughn grabbed her wrists and pushed her away, firmly but gently. "Nicole, you are an incredibly beautiful woman, and any man would be a fool not to want you, but I can't do this. I just wouldn't feel right if I went through with it. Neither would my wife," he said as he raised his left hand and flashed a gold wedding band.  
  
"Wife? You didn't mention anything about being married," she hissed. She tossed her hair and regained her composure. "Anyway, I don't care if you are. Your wife's not on this plane, is she?"  
  
"No, but this is wrong. I never should have led you on or let myself flirt with you."  
  
"No, you shouldn't have," she said just before the open palm of her hand made contact with his left cheek. "I feel sorry for your wife. She's married to a real jackass." With that, she pushed Vaughn aside and stormed out of the lavatory. He leaned back against the door and closed his eyes, then moved to the sink and splashed cold water over his face, trying to alleviate the stinging sensation in his cheek. He didn't blame Nicole for slapping him; he almost wanted to slap himself for getting into the situation in the first place. Next time, he'd use a knockout capsule and be done with it.   
  
He dried his face and hands with a paper towel and squared his shoulders. He wanted to delay going back to his seat for as long as possible. He knew that he'd have not one, but two, angry women to deal with when he got back. After a few more moments, he finally opened the door to leave the lavatory and was shocked when he came face to face with Sydney, who pushed him back inside and hurriedly locked the door.  
  
"Sydney, what are you – "  
  
She placed a hand over his mouth and looked him dead in the eye. "Don't talk right now," she ordered.   
  
When she removed her hand, she replaced it with her lips, kissing him so hard that he stumbled backwards against the sink. She was being every bit as aggressive as Nicole had been a few minutes earlier, but unlike then, Vaughn felt his whole body responding to her, and it wasn't long before his hands were roaming over her back and hips. He moaned into her mouth as she continued to kiss him and pressed her body against his. He realized at that moment that no woman would ever be able to affect him the way Sydney did. She had ruined him for anyone else, and he wasn't at all unhappy about it.  
  
Sydney finally broke away from him and took a few steps backwards. "I copied the files."  
  
"Good," he nodded. He tried to clear his mind which had grown fuzzy with desire during Sydney's kiss. "You know that nothing happened in here, right?"  
  
She laughed softly. "I had a feeling when I saw Nicole storming down the stairs. She practically knocked me down."  
  
"Yeah, she was definitely unhappy when she left." He raised his hand for her to see. "I told her I was married."  
  
Sydney grinned. "Where did you get a wedding band from?"  
  
"I've had it for years. I used it once on an undercover assignment, and never got rid of it. You never know when you might need to pretend to be married," he laughed.  
  
Sydney took his hand in hers and stared at the ring. It looked good on him – too good. It made her long for the day when he might wear a wedding band for real. She smiled ruefully and shook her head. A few hours ago, she had been practically naming their children, and now she was imagining slipping a wedding ring on Vaughn's finger. She knew it was stupid to dream about such things right now, but she was so much in love with him that she couldn't help herself.  
  
"Syd, what are you smiling about?" he asked, snapping her out of her daydream.  
  
"Nothing," she lied. She wasn't sure how he would react if she told him that she was smiling at the thought of marrying him one day.   
  
"Maybe you're just buzzing from the vodka," he chuckled. Her head shot up in surprise.  
  
"You heard me order those?" she asked, wide-eyed. He nodded. "Well, I had to do something to take the edge off of listening to you flirt with another woman."  
  
He reached out a hand and brushed it along the side of her face. "Hey, I really am sorry that you had to sit through all that. If it's any consolation, I didn't enjoy it at all. I spent the whole time wishing I was with you. You know that, right?" he asked as he placed a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth.  
  
"I know. I just hated it."  
  
"Well, I guess that explains the throat clearing and hitting my chair, huh? If I didn't know any better, Ms. Bristow, I'd think that you were jealous," he teased.  
  
"Jealous? Of Nicole?" she scoffed. "No, I was definitely *not* jealous."  
  
"C'mon, Syd. You were being a little bit jealous."  
  
"I wasn't being jealous; I was being possessive," she said, as if the distinction was obvious.  
  
"What's the difference?"  
  
"Vaughn," Sydney rolled her eyes, "I didn't need to be jealous of Nicole because she wasn't a threat. But I didn't like seeing you flirt with her, because you're mine – or didn't you know that?" she asked, cocking her head to the side and running a hand down his chest.  
  
Vaughn stared back at her, admiring how beautiful she was even with a slightly pouty expression on her face. "I've been yours since the day we met, Syd. We both know that." His voice was low and husky and it sent a thrill racing down her spine as he stepped closer to her. "But what I want to know," he said in a voice barely above a whisper, "is if you're mine?"  
  
Sydney's back was pressed against the door and Vaughn was just inches away from her, making her whole body feel as if it was on fire. His eyes burned with desire for her, and she reached out and closed the gap between them. "You know I am," she whispered.  
  
They simply stared at each other for a few minutes, both becoming acutely aware of the electricity crackling between them. Finally Vaughn broke the silence.  
  
"Have you ever made love on a plane?" he asked, his eyes locked on hers.  
  
"No," she smiled.  
  
"Have you ever wanted to?" he murmured as he began to drop soft kisses along her neck. She soon felt his hand stroking her thigh and gently tugging at the hem of her skirt, and realized that every nerve ending in her body was twitching with need for him. Her fingers instinctively found his belt and began to unbuckle it.  
  
"Not until right this moment."  
  
*****  
  
A couple of days after returning from Paris, Sydney was in the joint ops center, waiting for Vaughn. She absently tapped a pencil against his desk until she felt someone leaning down behind her.  
  
"You look incredibly beautiful today," a low voice whispered in her ear. She smiled and swiveled around in his chair.   
  
"I bet you say that to *all* the women who work here," she said, looking up at him.  
  
"Nope," he smiled, "just you." They kept smiling at each other until Sydney rose from his chair and cleared her throat, bringing them both back to reality. Vaughn smoothed his tie and sat down in his chair and Sydney leaned back against the edge of his desk.  
  
"So," he asked in an exaggerated professional voice, "have you found out what was in the package that Marchand sent back with you?"  
  
"No," Sydney frowned. "Sloane hasn't mentioned it, which is weird. Normally, he'd tell me, but he's been unusually tight-lipped about it. He just moved on to the next mission as if I had never gone to Paris. Do you think my dad would have any idea what's going on?"  
  
"Maybe. I'll ask him the next time I see him. Anyway, I got your deaddrop for your new mission. Sloane wants you to break into Phong's lab in Kuala Lampur again?"  
  
"Yeah. Apparently, he realized that the serum I took a few weeks ago is useless without the information in Phong's research logs, so he wants Dixon and I to go back and get them."  
  
"Well, we had a feeling Sloane would go back for the logs, so after we finished translating them last week, we made a fake copy just in case." Vaughn reached into a drawer at his desk and pulled out a manila envelope. "Here's the copy. Most of the information in it is accurate, but we altered the most crucial parts, so Sloane shouldn't be able to reverse engineer the serum any time soon."  
  
"So this is what I'll give him?"  
  
"Yeah, just make sure that Dixon doesn't beat you to grabbing the log," he smiled. "Do you think you're up for more excitement?"  
  
She gave him a confused smile. 'What do you mean?"  
  
"We recently found out that Phong's been developing an antidote for ricin poisoning. The CDC has been trying to develop its own antidote for a while now, but it hasn't been successful so far. We'd like to get our hands on Phong's antidote and compare it to what the CDC's been working on. Devlin suggested that maybe you could get a sample since you were already going to be at Phong's lab, but it's located in a different section of the lab than the research log. I'm not sure you'd have time to complete both parts of the mission. Personally, I think we should send in a separate team, but I told Devlin I'd run it by you anyway."  
  
"I'll do it," Sydney said without hesitation.  
  
"Syd – "  
  
"Vaughn, It's fine. If I have the CIA's fake version of the log with me, I won't need to go get the real one. So while Dixon thinks I'm going after it, I'll be off getting the samples of the antidote."  
  
"Are you sure? I just don't want you to bite off more than you can chew."  
  
"I'll be fine," she said with a slight shake of her head. "Don't worry about me."  
  
He gave her a knowing look as he stood up. "You know that's never going to happen. I worry about you all the time." He handed her a folder from his desk. "The floor plans to the lab are in here. I know you've seen them before, they they'll show you the part of the lab where the antidote is. And here's your comm link so I can talk to you when you're inside the lab. I don't have to tell you to be careful, do I?"  
  
"No dad, you don't," she teased. "I'll see you when I get back." She touched his arm as she walked away, and he turned to watch her go. For some reason, he had been apprehensive about asking her to get the ricin antidote, and argued that they should send a separate team. Devlin felt that it was unnecessary, but Vaughn thought they were unnecessarily complicating Sydney's mission. He took a deep breath, and tried to push his concerns from his mind. He was sure that his worry was attributable solely to his feelings for Sydney, rather than the threat of any real danger. Nevertheless, he found himself walking briskly through the halls of the joint ops center until he got out to the parking garage. He broke into a light jog and caught up with Sydney just as she was unlocking her car.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Vaughn," Sydney said as she whirled around to face him. "What's wrong? Did you forget to tell me something?"  
  
"Yeah, I did. I forgot to tell you . . ." He looked at her, almost as if he was trying to memorize her face. "I forgot to tell you that I love you," he said in a low voice.  
  
She smiled at him and leaned back against the door of her car. "You ran all the way out here to tell me that?"  
  
"Yeah. It seemed important."  
  
The intense look on his face took Sydney by surprise. She knew there was more to his sudden appearance in the parking lot than he was letting on, but she decided not to press him about it. "I love you, too. I'll remind you how much when I get back," she grinned, trying to put a smile on his face.  
  
He nodded and stepped closer to her. "Just get back safely," he said in a voice barely above a whisper. He was inches away from her, and she wanted to hold him and kiss him and reassure him that she would be fine, but she knew that the parking garage was under 24 hour video surveillance.  
  
"I will. Nothing will keep me from coming back to you, I promise."  
  
"Okay," Vaughn said with a sigh as he opened the door for her and closed it once she was inside. She blew him a small kiss right before she drove away.  
  
He stood in the garage until he could no longer see her car, and tried to ignore the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach. He prayed to anyone listening that Sydney would be able to keep her promise to him.  
  
  
TBC . . . 


	10. Conflict

A/N: I just wanted to thank everyone for being so patient during the wait for another chapter. Sadly, my job has taken over my life, and will for the next month or so, but hopefully, I can still squeeze out a few chapters during that time. I'm not sure that this one was worth the long wait, but I'm just glad it's done (finally!). As always, thanks for reading this. I didn't realize how much fun I was having writing it until I had to put it aside to write legal memoranda. :-)  
  
  
Chapter 10: "Conflict"  
  
  
"Syd, are you sure you don't want me to do this?" Dixon couldn't help but ask even though he already knew what her answer would be.  
  
"Dixon," Sydney said, rolling her eyes and shooting him a dimpled grin, "I'm sure. How many more times are you going to ask me that?" Dixon seemed especially eager to get in on the action for this mission, but she couldn't let him jeopardize her countermission. "It'll be so much easier for me to get the log, since I've already been in the lab. I know my way around," she reassured him.  
  
"I know, I know," Dixon nodded. "But I didn't think it would hurt to ask you one more time," he said with a smile. Sydney smiled back at him but her heart was heavy. Dixon was such a good guy that she hated not being able to tell him the truth about whom he was really working for.   
  
"I'll be in and out in no time," she promised as she zipped her black, hooded jacket. She pressed a hand along her right side and made sure that the CIA's faked copy of Phong's research log was secure in the inside pocket.  
  
"Be careful," Dixon said as she opened the door of their van and hopped out into a darkened alley. She quietly jogged the few hundred yards to the back of the nondescript building that housed the research labs of Li Phong, a world-renowned scientist. When she reached the back door, she punched in the 10 digit access code that she remembered from her mission a few weeks earlier. The steel door buzzed and opened, and she stealthily moved down the hall. As she and Dixon had predicted, the lab was darkened and seemingly empty, most of the staff having long since gone home for the evening.   
  
"Dixon, I'm in. I don't want our radio frequency to set off any of the security equipment, so I'm going radio silent, okay? I'll come back on if I need you."  
  
"Copy that, Syd," she heard in her left ear. She turned off her SD-6 comm link and switched on her CIA link. "Vaughn?"  
  
"I'm here, Syd. Are you inside the building?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm headed to the lab where the antidote is. So what's going on back in L.A.?" she asked conversationally.   
  
Vaughn couldn't help but laugh that Sydney was making small talk in the middle of a mission. "Nothing much," he replied as he saw Jack walking into the rotunda. "Hold on a minute; your dad's on his way over."  
  
"Bummer. I was just going to ask what you were wearing," she teased.  
  
"Syd," he groaned, shooting an embarrassed smile at the technician monitoring their radio communication as Jack approached him.   
  
"Agent Vaughn," Jack said with a polite nod. "Are you monitoring Sydney's mission right now?"  
  
"Yes. She's fine so far, she's making her way to the lab. Do you want to speak with her?"  
  
"No, I can't. I just wanted to make sure that she was okay. I'm due for a meeting with Kendall. Tell Sydney I'll see her when she returns home."  
  
"I will." Vaughn watched as Jack walked away, thinking about the fact that Sydney had two men in her life who were eager for her safe return from Kuala Lumpur. He wondered how Jack would react if he knew just how desperately Vaughn was looking forward to Sydney's return. He knew that Jack suspected that he had feelings for Sydney, but the two of them had managed to hide the true nature of their relationship from him for months. However, Vaughn knew that eventually, Jack would find out, and he wasn't sure what would make him angrier -- the fact that he and Sydney were breaking every rule of CIA protocol, that they were risking both their lives to be together, or that they had been able to keep their relationship a secret for so long.  
  
He broke his train of thought and snapped back to attention when he saw Weiss briskly walking towards him with a sheet of paper in his hand and a worried expression on his face.  
  
"Vaughn," he said breathlessly, "we have a situation." He handed the sheet of paper to his best friend and watched carefully as he read it, knowing full well that Vaughn was about to launch into crisis mode. Sure enough, a pained expression flickered across Vaughn's face before he regained his composure and looked up at Weiss.  
  
"Why didn't we know about this before?" he tersely asked.  
  
"I don't know, but you need to tell her to get out of there."  
  
Vaughn nodded and turned his headset back on. "Syd, listen. Forget about getting the vaccine. Just go back and meet Dixon."  
  
"Why?" Sydney asked with confusion. "I'm already in the lab, all I have to do is find the right vials."  
  
"Syd, we just received intel that the security system in that part of the lab has been upgraded, but we're not sure how. Since we have no way of knowing what might happen, you just need to get out of there. Forget the countermission."  
  
"Vaughn, I didn't have any problem getting into this part of the lab, so your intel has to be wrong. If the security system had been altered, I never would have been able to get in here."  
  
"Sydney, you don't know that. Just because you got in the lab doesn't mean you're going to be able to get out safely, and I don't think we should take any chances."  
  
Sydney rolled her eyes as she stood in front of a large, clear refrigerated case. Her eyes scanned the shelves in front of her, looking for the samples of the ricin vaccine. "Vaughn, it's gonna take me all of two minutes to find the vaccine and get out of here. There's no point in aborting the countermission when I'm *right here*."  
  
Thousands of miles away, Vaughn sighed with exasperation. "Syd -- okay, you know what? We're not going to argue about this anymore. Leave the lab now -- that's an order." He didn't like it that the CIA had nothing more to go on than vague information about the new security measures at the lab. That, combined with the uneasy feeling he had initially had about sending her on the mission, made him unwilling to take any chances.  
  
"An order?" Sydney asked incredulously. "Vaughn, I know we've had this conversation before, but seriously? This is possibly the most ridiculous order you've ever given me. I'll leave as soon as I get what I came for, but not until then."  
  
Vaughn rubbed his forehead and tried to ignore the uncomfortable stares from Weiss and the technician. He did not want to be having this argument with Sydney at all, but especially not in front of an audience. Usually he admired her tenacity and stubbornness, but not now when he feared what might happen to her if she didn't leave the lab immediately.  
  
"*Agent Bristow,*" he said between clenched teeth, "I'm not going to tell you again. . . "   
  
"Found it," she said triumphantly as she opened the case and removed two vials containing a bluish liquid. She unzipped one of her vest pockets and removed a silver cylinder, then dropped the vials inside and pressed a button to activate the refrigeration device inside it. "I'm leaving the lab now," she said as she crossed the vast space and made her way to the door. "Honestly, Vaughn, you were worried for nothing."  
  
Vaughn merely crossed his arms and shook his head, looking at Weiss who was grinning back at him.  
  
"You and Sydney have got to stop having these lovers' quarrels, man."   
  
Vaughn laughed in spite of himself and had just begun to relax when he heard Sydney's voice in his ear again.  
  
"Vaughn?" she said, her voice thin and shaky, "I think I have a problem. I can't get out of here."  
  
"What do you mean you can't get out?" he asked as a slight note of panic crept into his voice.  
  
"The door is locked," Sydney replied as she repeatedly entered a code on the keypad next to it. Her eyes quickly scanned the room for an alternative exit, but she couldn't find one, as there were no other doors or windows in the room. "I keep entering the code to open the door and it won't open." She entered the code once again, with concentrated determination until she began to hear a hissing sound coming from the corners of the lab. She looked to her left and saw a yellowish, gas-like substance rising from ducts in the floor. "Vaughn?" she said in a voice barely above a whisper.  
  
"Syd, what's wrong?"  
  
"There's some kind of yellowish gas filling the room. I think the room's gone into lockdown." Her voice was quiet and small and Vaughn's stomach tied in knots when he heard the fear in her voice.  
  
"Okay, Sydney, listen to me. Don't panic. You need to look around the room and try to find a mask or something. Can you do that?"  
  
Sydney nodded and then realized that he couldn't see her. "Yeah, I can do that," she said in a voice that belied her increasing panic. She didn't want to worry Vaughn by sounding as scared as she was.   
  
She quickly moved over to a row of metal cabinets along a wall, rapidly opening and closing them, searching for any kind of mask that she could find. A few moments later, she found a box of surgical masks, placed one over her nose and mouth, and continued to look for something more along the lines of a gas mask. She sighed with frustration when she was unable to find one, knowing that the surgical mask wouldn't really prevent her from breathing in the gas that was starting to fill the room, making the air in front of her a putrid shade of yellow. As if things couldn't get worse, her eyes were starting to sting and she began lightly coughing.  
  
"Syd, talk to me. Are you okay?" Her eyes started to fill with tears and she wasn't sure if they were in response to the stinging sensation or the deeply concerned tone in Vaughn's voice.  
  
"Vaughn, I'm getting lightheaded and my eyes are burning," she said as she found a pair of goggles, placed them over her eyes and made her way back to the door. She frantically entered numbers in ever combination she could think of, desperately trying to open the steel door and escape the room.  
  
"Sydney, you're going to be okay," Vaughn said, hoping that his voice sounded more controlled than he felt. He looked down and realized that was gripping the edges of the desk in front of him so hard that his knuckles were turning white. "Look, you're going to need to get Dixon to come help you."  
  
"Vaughn, I can't call Dixon," she said, shocked that he would even suggest it. "If I do, he's going to wonder what I was doing in this part of the lab."  
  
"Sydney, I know, but you don't have a choice. He's the *only* person who might be able to help you right now."  
  
"But if Sloane finds out . . ."  
  
"We can't worry about that now. All that matters is getting you out of that lab, so I want you to call Dixon and then remove your CIA comm piece before he gets there, okay?"  
  
"Vaughn, if I do that, I won't be able to talk to you," Sydney rasped. It was getting considerably more difficult to breathe, and she was having trouble standing as well.  
  
"I know, but you have to" Vaughn said quietly. The last thing he wanted to do was cut off communication with her, with no way of knowing what was happening to her. But if Dixon was able to rescue her by some miracle, the last thing they could afford was for him to find a second comm piece on her.   
  
"Vaughn, oh god, I'm sorry," Sydney softly cried as she let herself slide down the wall next to the door and sink in a heap on the floor. "I should have listened when you said to leave the lab. I'm so sorry."  
  
"Shhh, Syd, don't worry about that now," Vaughn whispered around the lump steadily growing in his throat. "Don't worry about me, just call for Dixon."  
  
"Okay," she nodded.   
  
A few seconds later, Vaughn listened as Sydney told Dixon where she was and explained her predicament. To his relief, Dixon didn't ask any questions and promised that he was on his way. But his relief only lasted a few seconds before he heard Sydney coughing again, gasping for air. The sound of her labored breathing made him feel as if his heart was being ripped out of his chest, in slow, agonizing fashion.  
  
"Syd, you have to -- " his voice broke as he struggled to get the words out, "you have to get rid of your comm link now."  
  
"I know," she whispered. "Vaughn, just in case I don't . . . I just need you to know that I . . ." her voice broke as she realized that she couldn't tell him what she wanted to say. She wasn't sure who was listening to them, so she knew she couldn't tell him that she loved him. Moreover, if she told him, it would feel too much like a good-bye she wasn't prepared to make.  
  
When Vaughn looked at Weiss and the technician in front of him, he realized why Sydney had cut herself off. "I know, Syd. I know. You can tell me in person when you get back. You *are* coming back, Sydney," he said, betraying his own fear that she wouldn't.  
  
"Bye Vaughn," he heard her choke out just before her comm link went dead. When he heard nothing but static over his headset, he removed it and tossed it onto the desk in front of him. He had never felt so helpless in his life, realizing that not only couldn't he do anything to help her, but now he had no way of even knowing what was happening or whether Dixon could rescue her. He sank down into the chair behind him and dropped his head into his hands. After a moment, he felt a strong grip on his right shoulder, and he looked up to see Weiss looking down at him sympathetically.   
  
"Mike, you know she's gonna be okay. She's as tough as they come."  
  
Vaughn forced himself to give Weiss an appreciative smile. "Thanks for saying that," he whispered. "Look, I need to go find Jack. Can you stay here, just in case . . ."  
  
"Yeah," Weiss nodded. "I'll let you know if anything happens."  
  
Vaughn patted Weiss on the arm and set off to find the conference room where Jack and Kendall were meeting. When he found them, he knocked twice on the door and opened it.  
  
"Agent Vaughn, we're in the middle of something here," Kendall said, the surprise and irritation evident on his face.  
  
With one look at Vaughn's pale face, Jack knew that something was terribly wrong.  
  
"I'm sorry to interrupt sir, but we have a situation and I thought Jack should know about it."  
  
Jack quickly stood and walked over to Vaughn. "Did something happen to Sydney?"  
  
Vaughn felt the lump form in his throat again when he saw the stricken look on Jack's face. He wasn't sure he had ever seen Jack look scared before, and seeing him that way now only reinforced his own sense of fear and dread.  
  
"She retrieved the vaccine from Phong's lab, but in doing so, we think she triggered the security system. The room went into lockdown and started filling with some kind of gas, we're not sure what."  
  
Jack's face went white. "Is she . . .?"  
  
"I don't know," Vaughn sighed, "but she was having noticeable difficulty breathing. I told her to cut off her communication with us and notify Dixon so he could rescue her. I don't know what's going on right now, but I was hoping that you could go to SD-6 and monitor things from there. Maybe Dixon will check in," he shrugged, at a loss for ideas.  
  
Jack nodded. "I'm on my way. I'll call you the minute I know anything."  
  
"Thanks, Jack," Vaughn said quietly. Jack took a moment to look at Vaughn. He could see the strain and anxiety on his face and knew that he was terrified that Sydney might not make it. He unexpectedly found himself filled with compassion for the young agent who obviously cared a great deal about his daughter's well-being, not just the safe return of a CIA asset.  
  
"Agent Vaughn, I'm sure Sydney will be fine," he said reassuringly. With that, he turned and exited the conference room, leaving Kendall and Vaughn staring after him.  
  
*****  
  
It took all the effort Sydney could muster to reach into her vest and remove the silver cylinder containing the vaccine. She tossed it from her hand and watched it roll underneath a desk across the room. She couldn't afford to have that on her when Dixon rescued her -- *if* he rescued her. She cried with frustration at how heavy her limbs felt and how much her muscles ached. Her lungs were burning but the stinging in her eyes had been alleviated by the tears now streaming down her face. She was crying not in frustration at her predicament or because of the physical pain; she was crying for Vaughn. She had been so stupid not to listen when he told her to leave the lab; she was so intent on doing her job when she should have just gotten the hell out of there. Now that she was trapped and unsure of whether Dixon would be able to find her in time, she was left with nothing to do but think about Vaughn. She knew he would be devastated if she didn't make it out of the lab, but worse than that, she knew that he would blame himself despite the fact that it was her fault that she was trapped. She couldn't bear the thought of him carrying around that kind of guilt for the rest of his life. She reached to turn on her CIA comm link and screamed in frustration when she remembered she had thrown it in the lab's incinerator. More than anything right now, she just wanted to hear his voice, wanted to be able to tell him that she loved him more than anything, so he would never forget it if --  
  
She shook her head and forced herself to stop thinking like that. She had to have faith that she would soon be reunited with him. She had to find her way back to him because they had so much to look forward to together . . .   
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Sydney woke with a start and looked at the clock on the nightstand. 3:26 a.m. She rolled to her right and was surprised not to feel a warm body next to hers. She sleepily rubbed her eyes and looked over to see Vaughn standing at the window of his hotel room. He appeared lost in thought and didn't even notice she was awake until she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest. She pressed her cheek to his shoulder and squeezed him tightly. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Just looking out the window. I couldn't sleep."  
  
"You should try. You're gonna be exhausted tomorrow."  
  
"No thanks to you, Ms. Bristow." She could hear the smile in his voice and she smiled against his shoulder, remembering what they'd been doing a couple of hours ago. She placed a soft kiss on his back.  
  
"I'd apologize about that if I was actually sorry. But I'm not."  
  
"Me either," he laughed. "It's gorgeous, isn't it?" he asked, nodding his head towards the window. She stood on her tiptoes and looked over his shoulder at the unobstructed view of the Eiffel Tower bathed in soft orange light.   
  
"Yeah, it is."  
  
"Being in Paris always makes me think about my parents. They met and fell in love while he was on assignment here."  
  
"Most romantic city in the world," Sydney murmured.  
  
"Yeah, it is. Hey, when this is over, you know the first thing I'm gonna do?"  
  
"Take me to that island you promised?"  
  
"You never forget about that do you?" he grinned. "*After* that, I'm going to take you home to my mother."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah. Why do you sound so surprised? I want her to meet you."  
  
"I'd like that. It's just that meeting the parents is a big deal."  
  
"Yes, it is. But remember when I told you how anxious my mother was to have grandchildren? Well, I want to introduce her to the woman who might give her those grandchildren."  
  
"Vaughn," Sydney smiled with obvious surprise and delight as he turned around to face her. He held the sides of her face and looked deep into her eyes.  
  
"There, I said it -- out loud," he laughed. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Sydney. I want us to have a family and grow old together," he said softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I know those are just dreams right now, but I thought you should know."  
  
"You should know that I want those things too," she said, smiling up at him.  
  
"Then one day, we'll have them," he said as he pulled her back to the bed.  
  
They had *both* woken up exhausted the next morning.  
  
**********************************************************************************  
  
Sydney choked back a sob as she remembered that night. Had it really been just a couple of weeks ago? Two weeks ago, she and Vaughn were contemplating their future, and now she didn't know if she still had one. She felt her eyelids growing heavier and her breathing getting slower and right before she lost consciousness, she said a quick prayer, asking God to somehow get her out of this room and back with Vaughn so they could have the future they so desperately wanted.  
  
*****  
  
Vaughn anxiously paced the length of the warehouse, taking in deep breaths to calm himself down. The last four days had been torture for him, but not nearly as torturous as the past twenty minutes of waiting. He finally stopped pacing when he heard footsteps approaching. The gate slowly opened and he let out a huge sigh of relief when he saw Sydney smiling at him. Before he could even take a few steps forward, she launched herself into his arms, wrapping her own arms tightly around his shoulders. He closed his eyes and squeezed her tightly, wanting to hold her forever and revel in the fact that she was alive and unharmed.   
  
"Sydney," he whispered into her hair. "Thank god you're alright. I was so scared."  
  
"I know," she murmured into his shoulder. "I was too." She clung to him as if her life depended on it. When he opened his eyes to look at her, he was surprised to see tears streaming down her face. He pushed her back gently and brushed the tears away.  
  
"Syd, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing," she sniffled. "I'm just . . . when I was trapped in that lab, I didn't think I was ever going to see you again. I wasn't afraid of dying, I was only afraid that I would never get to hold you or touch you or see you again."  
  
"Shhh . . . you're here now and that's all that matters," he said, pulling her back into his arms and swaying gently. "I love you so much, Sydney. You have no idea."  
  
She raised her head and brushed the last tears from her face. "Look at me crying like a sap," she said with a small laugh. She looked up at him, overwhelmed by the love and relief she saw in his eyes. She pressed a palm against his cheek and ran her thumb across it before tilting his face down to hers and softly brushing her lips against his. She placed feather-soft kisses on his lips until he slipped his tongue in her mouth, increasing the intensity of their kiss. Soon they were kissing urgently, releasing all of the tension of her ordeal and creating new tension as their bodies responded to each other.  
  
Vaughn felt desire surging through his entire body, but he knew that it wasn't the time for that, so he broke the kiss and held her at arms length, resting his forehead against hers while he caught his breath.  
  
"What's wrong?" she asked softly, running her fingers through his hair.  
  
"Syd," he breathed. "I can't even tell you how relieved and happy I am that you're back, but . . . " he swallowed hard, unsure how to broach the topic.  
  
"But what?"  
  
Vaughn pulled his head away from hers and looked her directly in the eye. "We need to have a serious talk."  
  
The resolute and serious tone in his voice took her aback and she blinked in surprise. "A talk about what?"  
  
"A talk about what happened in Kuala Lumpur."  
  
"Vaughn, we don't have to dwell on what happened. I'm fine. The doctors at the hospital said I'm fine, and the SD-6 doctors also gave me a clean bill of health when I got back this morning."  
  
"That's great, but I'm not talking about your health. I know you're okay. We need to talk about the fact that you didn't leave the lab when I told you to."  
  
"I know," she said, casting her eyes downward. "I know I should have listened to you, but I was right there and I couldn't leave the lab without those samples. Which, ultimately, I ended up doing anyway," she shook her head ruefully. "I knew I couldn't take the risk of Dixon finding them in my vest."  
  
Vaughn interrupted his own train of thought for a moment. "Yeah, your dad never told me what happened when Dixon rescued you."  
  
"Oh. I called him on my comm link and told him where to find me and how to get into the lab from the outside. By the time he got there, I was already unconscious, so all I remember is waking up in the emergency room. When I woke up Dixon asked how I ended up in that part of the lab. I told him that Phong's research log wasn't where I expected it to be so I went looking in another part of the lab and got trapped."  
  
"Did he believe you?"  
  
"Yes. So did Sloane, thankfully. I gave him the fake log, by the way."  
  
"Good," Vaughn nodded, though his tone was anything but pleased.  
  
"Vaughn, what's with the tortured look?"  
  
"You were unconscious," Vaughn said tersely, breaking away from their embrace. He turned from her and ran a hand through his hair before taking a deep breath and turning back to her. "Sydney, the next time I give you an order to abort a mission, you take it."  
  
Sydney laughed lightly. "Vaughn, I think we've already established that I'm not very good at taking orders."  
  
"Well you're gonna have to get better at it. Seriously, this will *not* happen again. I'm not going to argue with you the next time."  
  
Sydney was stunned by the angry tone in his voice. "Why are you so upset? I already admitted that I made a mistake in not listening to you. I told you I was sorry."  
  
"Sorry?" Vaughn choked out. "Sydney, I don't want an apology from you. I want a promise that the next time I tell you to do something, you're going to do it. As long as I'm in charge of your ops, you have to follow my commands."  
  
"I'm going to have to *what*?" she asked disbelievingly. She hadn't seen this autocratic side of Vaughn since they first started working together, and she couldn't say that she had missed it. "Please tell me that you're not trying to pull rank on me."  
  
"Maybe I am, maybe I need to. I think maybe you need reminding that I'm your case officer, which means that *I* give you instructions and *you* follow them."  
  
Sydney placed her hands on her temples, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. "Okay, who are you and what did you do with the Michael Vaughn that I know?"  
  
"I'm right here, Sydney."  
  
"No," she slowly shook her head, "no, you're not. The Vaughn that I know wouldn't be standing here berating me about following orders. He would be holding me and telling me how glad he is that I'm still alive."  
  
"You don't think that I -- Sydney, I *told* you how relieved I was to have you back and here with me. But that doesn't change the fact that I almost lost you for reasons that were entirely preventable." He rubbed his forehead and lowered his voice. "Do you know what it was like to hear you turn off that comm link? To hear nothing but static on the other end and know that there wasn't a damn thing I could do to save you? Sydney, I saw my life flash before my eyes. I thought you were gonna die," he said in a voice barely above a whisper.  
  
The pain in his eyes tore at her heart, and she would have given anything to take it away. "But I *didn't*, Vaughn," she implored. "I'm here with you now."  
  
"But you came this close to *not* being here, and all because you were too stubborn to leave the lab when I told you to. We can't afford to have these kind of communication breakdowns."  
  
"Oh. So when you say 'jump,' I'm just supposed to ask you 'how high,' no questions asked?"  
  
"When we're working together, yes, that's exactly what you're supposed to do."  
  
Sydney's eyes flashed as she let out a short, disbelieving laugh. "I think you are on a massive power trip right now, Vaughn."  
  
"You think I'm on a power trip? I'm trying to keep you alive, Sydney."  
  
"For whose benefit? Yours or the CIA's?"  
  
"Both!"  
  
"No, I don't think so. I think you're trying to totally rewrite the rules of our relationship."  
  
"And I think that right now, you're having a difficult time separating our personal relationship from our professional relationship. Sydney, this isn't about me trying to be the stereotypical male and keep my little woman in line. This has nothing to do with how we feel about each other. This is about me trying to keep my agent alive and trying to make sure that the CIA's objectives are met."  
  
"That's what I was trying to do, Vaughn," Sydney argued. "The CIA's objective was to get a sample of that vaccine."  
  
"That stopped being the objective the minute I told you to leave the lab. Sydney, you know better than anyone that mission objectives are fluid. They can change minute by minute, and when that happens, you need to accept it and go with whatever I tell you. I wouldn't change your mission midstream just to screw with you; in this case, I was trying to keep you from walking into a situation that we had no intel about."  
  
"I know that," Sydney said quietly.  
  
"Then why didn't you listen to me and get out of there?" Vaughn asked in a soft, anguished voice  
  
"Because. I didn't believe that anything was going to happen to me. I thought that you were worrying unnecessarily simply because it was me in the lab."  
  
"What do you mean by that?" Vaughn asked with a stunned look on his face.  
  
"Can you honestly tell me that you would have been so adamant about aborting the mission if it had been any other agent in the lab?"  
  
"Yes, I absolutely would have," he firmly responded. As he looked at hear, a look of understanding and recognition spread across his face. "My god. You thought I was freaking out just because I'm in love with you."  
  
"The thought crossed my mind," she admitted, looking down at the floor.  
  
"So if any other agent had told you to abort the mission, you would have done it?"  
  
She sighed "I doubt that. You know how stubborn I am."  
  
"Yeah, but you wouldn't have questioned why another agent was telling you to abort. You wouldn't have just assumed that it was because he couldn't put his feelings for you aside. You don't think that I can set my personal feelings aside when we're working together." It was a statement rather than a question.  
  
"Vaughn, I didn't mean . . ." she backtracked. "I know that you always put your professional judgment first when we're working together."  
  
"But now you find yourself questioning my professional judgment when you're in the field?"  
  
"Vaughn, no! That's not what I'm doing -- "  
  
"Maybe not, but maybe it's time for *me* to start questioning my professional judgment. I never should have even told you about the Malaysia countermission. I should have just told Devlin to find another agent. And in Vancouver, when you were stabbed by that guard? I shouldn't have let you stop to upload those photos. I let you talk me into that, when I should have told you to get the hell out of the gallery."  
  
"I was not *stabbed*," she interjected, "it was just a cut and --"  
  
"Sydney, we have a problem," Vaughn said, looking at her with a grave expression on his face. "We can't work together like this."  
  
"Vaughn, I think you're overreacting. You know that ever since we admitted how we felt about each other, we've been doing incredible work together. Kendall's noticed, Devlin's noticed, my dad has noticed. Think about how many commendations we've gotten in the last few months. We've been doing *amazing* things together."  
  
"I'm not discounting any of those things, Sydney. Sometimes I think we work so well together *because* of our feelings for each other. But obviously, there are times, like the other day, when our feelings for each other cloud our judgment. We can't afford for that to happen, for our personal relationship to hinder our professional relationship. Something has to give."  
  
"So what are you saying?" she asked, almost afraid to hear his answer. "What? Are you saying that we have to sacrifice one or the other?"  
  
"Maybe. Maybe we do."  
  
  
TBC . . . 


	11. Resolution

Chapter 11: "Resolution"  
  
  
After applying her makeup and brushing her hair one last time, Sydney stood in front of the bathroom mirror and stared at her reflection, pleased by what she saw on a morning when she actually cared about looking better than usual. She picked a spec of lint from her sleeveless beige turtleneck, then walked back into her bedroom and slipped into her black suit jacket. She smiled and shook her head at the fact that she had gotten dressed up in hopes that she would see Vaughn at some point during the day. It had been three days since their conversation in the warehouse. Three long days of not hearing his voice or seeing his face. Three longs days of knowing that things were still unsettled between them.   
  
She hadn't believed her ears when Vaughn suggested that they might no longer be able to balance their professional and personal relationships. She had had some initial doubts about that when they first became romantically involved, but the thought hadn't crossed her mind again until he brought it up that night. Surprisingly enough, she had actually been able to keep her emotions from getting the better of her, suggesting that they have a cooling off period. Vaughn agreed that after the stress and anxiety of her Kuala Lumpur mission, they were probably both a little overemotional and needed time to think and reevaluate their situation.   
  
The detente has lasted only a few minutes, until Vaughn leaned forward to kiss her good-bye. For reasons she still didn't understand, she had pulled away from him. She cringed as she remembered the shocked and hurt look that had flashed across his face just before he wordlessly turned and left the warehouse. She had briefly considered calling him to apologize, but as she replayed their argument in her mind during the drive home, she felt herself getting worked up all over again about the way that he had practically scolded her for not following his orders.  
  
So, being as stubborn as ever, she ignored the impulse to apologize to Vaughn, deciding that she would let him come to her instead. When she hadn't heard from him by the next day, she realized fact that he was probably as upset with her as she was with him, and deep down, she knew that he had every right to be. Still, it had been a blow to her ego to have to make the first contact between them when she dead dropped her most recent SD-6 mission last night. On the bright side, however, she knew that it meant she and Vaughn would finally see each other again today, and she couldn't help but look forward to it. She was sure that they could both find a way to swallow their pride and resolve their issues in a civilized manner. At least she hoped so, because she missed him terribly.  
  
Satisfied after one last glance in the mirror, she gathered her things and made her way into the kitchen, smiling when she saw Will sitting at the counter reading the paper.  
  
"Hey," he smiled, "you look like you're in a better mood."  
  
"I am," she said as she poured a cup of coffee.  
  
"Good. I've been afraid to look at you for the past couple of days," he admitted.  
  
Sydney looked at him with surprise. "I haven't been *that* bad, have I?"  
  
"Uh, yeah, you have," Will laughed. "Now that I think I can ask without getting beat up, what was wrong?"  
  
"Vaughn and I had a fight," she sighed.   
  
"First lover's spat?" Will asked with a sympathetic smile.  
  
"No, actually it was a work-related fight, although it's hard to tell the difference sometimes. To hear Vaughn tell it, that's part of the problem," she shrugged.  
  
"Well, I'm sure you guys will work it out and it'll all blow over," Will said reassuringly.  
  
"I'm sure of it, too," she said with a confident smile. Truthfully, she was incapable of staying mad at Vaughn for any extended length of time. She knew that the minute she saw him, she'd forgive him almost anything. She was a fool for him. "Anyway, enough about me and Vaughn. How's the new job?"  
  
"Great so far, although reviewing classified information is a lot different than -- " he was cut off midsentence by the shrill ring of the telephone.  
  
"Hold that thought for a sec," Sydney smiled as she reached for the phone. "Hello?"  
  
"Joey's Pizza?"  
  
"Sorry, you have the wrong number," she said softly as a jolt ran through her. As much as she had been looking forward to seeing Vaughn again, she suddenly found herself filled with anxiety and nervous anticipation. She hung the phone up and glanced apologetically at Will. "Will, I'm sorry, I've got to go."  
  
"I understand. Tell Vaughn I said hi."  
  
"I will," she grinned, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before grabbing her purse and heading out the door.  
  
Even though it was rush hour on a Thursday morning, Sydney made it to the warehouse in record time. She smoothed her skirt and took a few deep breaths to calm herself as she walked into the warehouse. She quickly made her way to the gate and felt her heart beat faster the moment she saw Vaughn standing across the room with his back turned to her. It took a few seconds before she realized that he was talking to someone inside the storage unit.  
  
"Hi Vaughn," she said louder than usual, both because she was nervous and so he would hear her over his conversation.  
  
He turned around, surprised to realize that he hadn't heard her open the gate. "Syd, you're early," he said, approaching her with a tense expression on his face.  
  
She looked at him with confusion. "Weren't you expecting me? I got a Joey's Pizza call."  
  
"Yeah, I was expecting you," he said in a low voice that only she could hear. "I just thought it would take you longer to get here."  
  
"Well, I rushed a little bit," she admitted, giving him a meaningful look. "I was excited to see you, but I thought we'd be alone," she said, craning her neck to look at the woman standing on the other side of the room. "Who's that?"  
  
Vaughn briefly looked her in the eye, then shifted his eyes downward, giving her a hint that something was seriously wrong. "Come, I'll introduce you."   
  
Sydney followed him across the room until she stood across from a middle-aged woman with shoulder length salt-and-pepper hair and a warm, but firm smile. "Sylvia Miles, this is Agent Sydney Bristow," Vaughn said, making the introductions. "Sydney, this is Agent Miles. She's going to be your new handler."  
  
Sydney froze and stared at Vaughn in shock. *She's going to be your new handler*? Surely he hadn't just said that, had he? Before she could open her mouth to speak, Agent Miles reached out to shake her hand.  
  
"It's such a pleasure to meet you Sydney. I actually worked on a few operations with your father, back when we were both much younger," she laughed. "He was a wonderful agent, so it's no surprise that his daughter turned out to be, as well. I've read through your file, which was most impressive. You and Agent Vaughn have done good work and he raves about you, so I'm looking forward to working with you."  
  
Sydney tried to muster a smile as she shook Sylvia's hand. "Thank you," she said weakly, too stunned to string together more words than that.  
  
Vaughn nervously cleared his throat praying that Sydney wouldn't make a scene in front of Sylvia. "Agent Miles is one of the agency's most experienced handlers. She's handled -- is it seven -- double agents?" he asked, turning to her.  
  
"Eight," Sylvia corrected with a laugh, "but who's counting? My husband works for an accounting firm and was recently transferred to L.A.," she explained to Sydney. "I certainly never thought that in my first week here, I'd be assigned another double agent, but I'm looking forward to the challenge -- and I hear you're *quite* a challenge," she said, smiling at Vaughn, who merely nodded in agreement. Sydney shot him a look out of the corner of her eye, and he realized that *he* was going to be in for the challenge of his life when he attempted to explain himself to her.  
  
"Well, I'm looking forward to getting to know you better, Sydney, but I know that you're leaving for Madrid this afternoon. So your countermission is simply to switch this transistor with the one you're supposed to acquire from the Cruz factory. You'll give this one to Sloane and give us the real one. Simple enough?"  
  
"Uh, yes, of course," Sydney nodded, though her mind was so preoccupied that she had barely heard a word Sylvia had said.   
  
"Good, then I'll see you when you return." She turned to Vaughn who offered to walk her out.  
  
"I'll be right back and then we can talk," he said to Sydney in a low voice. She merely clenched her jaw and folded her arms in response as he walked Sylvia to the gate. As she heard them speaking to each other in low voices, she tried to move but felt as if she was rooted to the floor.  
  
"Yes, I will. Thanks again, Sylvia," she heard Vaughn say before he closed the gate. She heard nothing but silence for the next few moments, but she could feel Vaughn staring at her from behind. Finally, he sighed and walked back over to her, close enough to notice that she was practically shaking with anger and disbelief.   
  
"Sydney . . . "  
  
"My god, Vaughn," she said in a low, overly-controlled voice that barely concealed her rage. "Were you so mad at me for what happened in Malaysia that you decided to punish me by dumping me on another handler?"  
  
"Alright, Syd. First of all, I'm not mad at you. This has nothing to do with me being angry. And punishing you? No, that's not what I'm trying to do. The thought of that never crossed my mind."  
  
She whirled around to face him, her face red and her eyes flashing. "*Really*? Then what is this all about? How could you do this to us?"  
  
He placed a hand on the back of his neck and sighed. "Our conversation the other night made me do a lot of thinking, and I came to the conclusion that you being assigned a new handler was probably the best thing for both of us. When I remembered that Sylvia had been transferred to L.A., I knew that she was the perfect person to be your handler, so I asked her if she would consider it. She said yes, Devlin agreed, and that was that." He dropped his hand back to his side, then shoved both of his hands in his pockets and brought his eyes up to meet hers. "Look, I know that you're upset by this, and I know that I sprang it on you without warning, but I *had* to do that. I knew that if I told you what I was thinking about doing, you'd either get angry or try to talk me out of it, and I couldn't afford to let you influence my decision."  
  
"You couldn't afford to let me influence your decision?" she repeated in disbelief, her voice growing louder with each successive word. "Well *that* makes sense, because it's not like this affects me at all! The only person here whose feelings matter are yours, right Vaughn?"  
  
"No, my feelings are not the only feelings that matter, Sydney. Yours matter too, but I knew that you would do exactly what you're doing right now. You're reacting to this emotionally, not analytically or practically. Syd, the simple fact of the matter was that we couldn't go on the way we were going. That was becoming increasingly obvious to me, and I did what I had to do to rectify the situation. Agent Miles is one of the best handlers the agency has; she'll be good for you."  
  
"How? Is she going to whip me into shape?" Sydney asked bitterly. She slowly exhaled and looked down at the floor. "Whatever happened to you not trusting anyone else to keep me safe?" she asked softly.  
  
"Sydney, that's just it. I don't trust *myself* to keep you safe right now. That's the only responsibility I've ever had, and I told you once that I would sacrifice anything for that. Don't you remember that?"  
  
She raised her eyes to look at him. "Of course I remember that. Do *you*? Do you remember what you promised me right after you said that, Michael?" she asked softly. "Because I remember laying in bed with you in Lake Tahoe and making you promise me that no matter what happened, you would never let anyone replace you as my handler. You promised me that no matter how hard things got, you would never do that."  
  
"Yes, I know what I promised you. I know that I'm breaking that promise right now, and that's something that I *never* wanted to do. But when I made that promise, I was being incredibly naive, believing that there was no way I'd ever let my feelings for you get in the way of doing my job. I know better now," He said as he shook his head. "You have no idea how hard it is for me to admit that you cloud my judgment. It's almost like admitting that I've failed at my job, and I guess I have. The way that I feel about you influences every decision and every aspect of my life now, and in our line of work that is *so* incredibly dangerous. I can't be objective about you or anything that you do anymore, Sydney. The other night, I told you that we might have to sacrifice either our personal relationship or our professional one, and when it came time to choose, I decided that I would rather have you in my life and not work with you than the other way around. I can't apologize for that. I *won't* apologize for making you more important than my work."  
  
"Wow, that's so sweet and romantic Vaughn," Sydney said, crossing her arms and staring back down at the floor. "Is now the part where I fall into your arms and kiss you for choosing me over the job?" she asked sarcastically. When she looked back up at him, she saw the hurt expression on his face and sighed.   
  
"I'm sorry. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes, trying to understand why you did this, but I can't. I can't believe that you would make this decision unilaterally without even discussing it with me first. I should have had a say in this. There are two of us in this relationship, Vaughn, but you took it on yourself to make the biggest decision we've ever faced. Whatever problems we were having with work, we could have worked them out. You *know* we could have," she said plaintively.  
  
"I don't think we could have, Sydney," he shook his head and smiled to himself. "You are headstrong and independent, fearless and determined, impatient and emotional, and I love those things about you. But the same things that made me fall in love with you are the same things that make it impossible for me to work with you. Any other handler would try to reign you in, but I can't do that because I feel like it would be destroying all the things that make me crazy about you. Unlike me, Agent Miles isn't going to have a problem controlling you or putting you in your place when you need it, but I can't do that, Syd. I'm not capable of it anymore, not that I ever was," he said with a humorless laugh.  
  
"So instead of trying, instead of finding some way to deal with me, you'd rather just walk away? Vaughn. . . I can't do this without you." She stared deeply into his eyes needing him to understand how much she needed him. "There have been times when the only reason I've kept pushing forward with this is because you've been behind me, encouraging me and telling me that I could. If I don't have you to do that anymore . . . what incentive is there to keep fighting?"  
  
"Syd, you have every incentive in the world. SD-6 took your life away. They took Danny away from you, they took your future away from you. Your incentive to keep fighting is so you can take your future back. So you can take *our* future back."  
  
"*Our* future?" Sydney asked pointedly. "Do we even still have one?"  
  
Vaughn blinked his eyes in disbelief at her question. "Are you suggesting that we don't? Because when push came to shove, I chose Sydney and Michael over Agent Bristow and Agent Vaughn," he said heatedly. "I never would have done that unless I thought we had a future together, Sydney."  
  
"A future that you apparently no longer feel like fighting for," she said accusingly.  
  
"How can you say that?"  
  
"Because. Think about what you're doing; you're turning your back on helping me bring SD-6 down. I told you that I couldn't do this without you, and now you're walking away from it as if you don't even care whether it happens or not!"  
  
"I'm not turning my back on you. Look, I may not be working with you directly as your handler, but I'm still going to be doing everything I can to bring those bastards down. I'll still be working on the SD-6 operation, just not in the same capacity."  
  
"Vaughn, I don't want you working in some other capacity. I want you working with *me*." Tears filled her eyes as the reality that they would no longer be working together started to slowly sink in. "You said that you chose our personal relationship over our professional relationship, but don't you see? Without work, we don't have an excuse to see each other anymore, and we barely see each other enough as it is. What's going to happen when I can't meet you here anymore?" she asked, gesturing to the warehouse. "We'll never go on another mission together . . . I'll be lucky if I get to sit across a room from you during a debrief. How can you be satisfied with that?"  
  
"I won't be. I'm not going to be satisfied until I get to fall asleep with you every night and wake up next you every morning, but that can't happen until SD-6 is gone. You're making so much progress and with Agent Miles as your handler, I know that you're going to do even more amazing things than you already have. If I truly believed that you couldn't do this without me, then I would stay on as your handler, but I know better, Sydney. I believe in you," he said, his voice full of conviction. "You don't need me holding your hand to get through this. You're so much stronger than that."  
  
"I'm really not, Vaughn," she whispered. "You're underestimating your importance if you think that I could do this with just anyone."   
  
"Okay, maybe you couldn't do it with Lambert," he said, smiling as he noticed that he had coaxed a smile out of her, "but you can do it with Agent Miles. She's never going to look at you the way that I do, but that might be a good thing -- it might actually keep you alive. That's why I made sure you got a female handler. Whoa, is that another smile I see?" he teased, trying to catch her eye when she ducked her head.  
  
"Vaughn, shut up," she said, turning her head away in an attempt to hide another tiny smile. "I'm in the middle of being madder than I've ever been at you. It would help if you stopped trying to be funny and cute. No matter how much you try to charm me, it's not going to make me any less upset about what you've done."  
  
"I know," he said seriously. "I knew you would be angry, and you have every right to be. I broke my promise to you, and truth be told, I probably haven't fully thought out the consequences of resigning as your handler. But you have to know that the *only* reason I did this was because I love you and I want you to be safe. I want to know that you're working with someone who isn't going to be blinded with love for you, and that person isn't me, Syd. Because I'm blinded, believe me."  
  
All it took was one look at his face to know that he was right. As she looked at him she could see, his feelings for her clearly written all over his face, making it impossible for her to stay angry at him. But although her anger was dissipating, she was still uneasy about the prospect of not working with him anymore. She was terrified that his decision was going to change everything in her life and she couldn't bear the uncertainty of not knowing how.  
  
"So what are you going to be doing while Agent Miles is cracking the whip over me?"  
  
Vaughn took a deep breath and Sydney instinctively braced herself for another shock to her system. "I'm going to be gone for a while," he reluctantly admitted.  
  
"Gone?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Gone where?"  
  
"Washington. Langley, to be precise."  
  
Her eyes shot open and her jaw dropped. "So not only are you not going to be my handler anymore, but now you're moving across the country? What next, Vaughn? Are you going to cut off all contact with me to make absolutely sure that you keep me safe?"   
  
Vaughn raised his hands in mock surrender. "Okay, this was actually not my decision, it was Devlin's. When I asked to be removed as your handler, Devlin decided that I was the right person to work on a new project. Remember your mother's disks from Fiji?"  
  
"Yes."   
  
"Well, they've been in analysis at Langley for the last month or so, and it turns out they were a goldmine. The agency is putting together a team to plan a coordinated attack on all the cells of the Alliance using that information. Devlin thought that with my knowledge of the SD-6 operation, I would be an asset to the team, and the Deputy Director agreed. That's why I'm being sent to Langley."  
  
"For how long?" Sydney asked, not sure that she truly wanted to know.  
  
"At least a couple of months, probably more like three or four."  
  
"Three or four months? Vaughn!" she cried.  
  
"I know," he nodded his head. "But Sydney, think about what this means. Once we're done planning our strategy of attack, we're moving in on the Alliance."  
  
She stared at him as his words sank in. "So you're saying that in three or four months, this could all be over? When we first got those discs, you said it would take at least a year."  
  
"I was wrong," he shrugged, "not that I'm complaining. Once the analysts at Langley realized how much information was on the discs, the time frame was pushed up. So as it turns out, you might only have to deal with having a new handler for another four months. Then you'll never have to have a handler again, and you can finally stop being mad at me," he smiled.  
  
"Like hell," she laughed. "I'm sure I'll still be mad."  
  
"Well, at least I'll have four months to find way to make it up to you." Sensing a thaw between them, he reached his hand out to her and puller her closer to him. "Are you really mad at me?" he softly asked, cocking his head to the side.  
  
"Yes," she said, even as she intertwined her fingers with his. "Actually, I'm not mad so much as upset. You had no right to make such a huge decision without consulting me," she said as he nodded. "And I don't even want to imagine what the next four months are going to be like, knowing that you're a whole continent away. It's going to be hell, Vaughn."  
  
"For me too. But we'll get through it; it's only four months."  
  
"*Only* four months," she mimicked. "Four months is a long time, Vaughn. Who knows what could happen in that time?"  
  
"It'll go by before we know it. At least, that's what I keep telling myself when I think about how much I'm going to miss you. I'm going to miss you a lot, Syd."  
  
"Yeah, you are," she said, poking him in the chest with her index finger. "When do you leave?"  
  
"Saturday."  
  
"What?!" she asked incredulously. "God. First, I find out that you're not going to be my handler anymore, then that you're moving to Virginia for four months, and now you're telling me that you're leaving in two days? Why don't you just shoot me, Vaughn? I've had ass-kickings that have been less painful than this."  
  
"Syd, I'm sorry. I know I've dumped a ton of stuff on you today. It's just that things have moved so fast in the past couple of days. I've been thrown for a loop, too -- not as much as you have, of course," he added when she shot him the evil eye.  
  
"Saturday," she said softly as the realization swept over her. "I leave for Madrid this afternoon and I don't think I'll get back before you leave. I'm not even going to get to say a proper good-bye to you," she said sadly.  
  
"Seriously? I don't want you to say good-bye to me. This isn't 'good-bye,' it's 'see you soon.' Just think. . . the next time we see each other, we might be celebrating the end of the Alliance and SD-6. Just try to remember that, okay?"  
  
She nodded and leaned in to hug him, burying her face in his neck as he wrapped his arms around her. "I have to go," she murmured. "Sloane scheduled at briefing at ten thirty."  
  
"Yeah, I have a lot to do at the office before I leave on Saturday." He softly kissed her forehead.  
  
"What about Donovan?"  
  
"What? Are you in the market for a lazy bulldog?" he laughed. "He's going with me. I didn't think it was fair to dump him on Eric for four months."  
  
"I could keep him," she offered, desperate to have any part of Vaughn with her for the next few months.  
  
"When, between trips to Reykjavik and Tokyo? I don't think so. Besides, I'm gonna need someone to listen to me bitch about how much I miss you."  
  
"Just thought I'd offer," she shrugged. Maybe while you're gone Sloane will send me on a mission to retrieve some Rambaldi device that speeds the passage of time," she laughed.  
  
"Yeah, see what you can do about that."  
  
She raised her head to look into his eyes and brushed his cheek with her fingertips. "I love you, Vaughn. Even though you're a jackass who managed to completely turn my world upside down in a half-hour, I love you."  
  
"I deserve that," he laughed as he held her tighter. I love you too."   
  
When he brought his lips down to hers and kissed her sweeter and longer than she'd ever been kissed before, she knew without a doubt that he did. Sadly, she also knew that the next four months were going to feel like forever. She just prayed that they would find some way to survive their separation.  
  
  
TBC . . .  
  
  
  
A/N: Yep. It was my intention to drag out the angst a little bit longer, but the muse had other ideas, and I just do what she tells me to. I'm a sap. I just couldn't let Vaughn go to Washington while he and Sydney were still mad at each other. But then again, the angst isn't *completely* over, just the fighting, I suppose. :-) Four months is a long time, or is it? Hopefully, I'll have a new chapter this weekend. As always, thanks for reading. 


	12. Separation Anxiety

A/N: Hi everyone! As always, I wanted to say thanks for reading this. I'm having so much fun writing it. I didn't even realize until today that my profile had blocked anonymous reviews, so for anyone who wanted to review and couldn't, I apologize profusely. I fixed it, so if you're so inclined, please feel free to comment, critique, beg for Shirtless!Vaughn, whatever. I live for the feedback. (Thanks to donnatellaMarks for letting me know about that, BTW!)  
  
This chapter is pretty much all about Sydney, but Vaughn makes a return in the next chapter.  
  
  
Chapter 12: "Separation Anxiety"  
  
  
Sydney closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the fence as she sat on a crate inside the warehouse. In the past three weeks, she had found herself going there almost daily, sometimes for a few minutes, other times for a few hours. It was a habit that had begun the night that she and Dixon returned from Madrid. From the moment she stepped off the plane, she had felt as if something was different. At first she hadn't been able to put her finger on what it was, but then it hit her -- it was the first time in almost a year and a half that she had come home from a mission knowing that she wouldn't see Vaughn the next day. She hadn't been at all prepared for how empty that knowledge would make her feel, even though she'd spent the entire flight brooding about Vaughn's temporary relocation to Virginia.   
  
On the drive home from the airport, she found herself being inexplicably drawn to the warehouse. For some reason, she felt the need to be alone with her thoughts in the place where she and Vaughn had spent so many moments forging first their partnership, then a friendship, and finally, their relationship. She had been there for only a few minutes that first night before her sadness overwhelmed her and she drove home, struggling to see the road through her tears. Since then, she had found herself back at the warehouse night after night, thinking about Vaughn, remembering every conversation they had had with each other, every time that she had cried and he had consoled her, every time that he had congratulated or praised her for her success on a mission. She knew that she needed this place, now more than ever because it was seemingly the only connection to him that she had left.   
  
The day after she returned from Madrid, Agent Miles had gone about establishing a new protocol for their meets. However, she was still receiving the Joey's Pizza calls because Agent Miles reasoned that if SD-6 was monitoring her phone calls, it might appear suspicious if the wrong number calls just stopped out of the blue. So for the past three weeks, Sydney had had to consciously remind herself not to get excited every time someone called wanting a pizza. The first few times, her heart had jumped as she briefly allowed herself to think that Vaughn had returned from Virginia. But now when she received the calls, instead of driving to the warehouse, she drove to the UCLA library. It had been hard to get used to not meeting at the warehouse. Another thing she hadn't been able to get used to was the fact that Agent Miles insisted that Sydney call her by her first name. It was a friendly gesture on her part and Sydney appreciated it, as it had made their working relationship seem less formal. But it felt weird because she had always called Vaughn by his last name. Even now she only called him "Michael" when it slipped out unconsciously.   
  
Thinking about that actually brought a smile to her face, as she remembered all the times Vaughn had teased her for continuing to call him by his surname. Secretly, she knew he loved it and she loved the way that he had jokingly taken to calling her "Bristow." Her happy memory turned into a deep sigh as she thought about how much she missed him, missed everything about him. She knew that their separation would be difficult, but she had had no idea just *how* difficult it would be. She soon learned when it became apparent that they could have almost no contact with each other. They couldn't speak on their home phones for obvious reasons. Their CIA-issue cell phones were secure, but now that Vaughn was no longer her handler, there was no way to justify the calls to each other. Sending letters was out of the question, as there was no way to ensure that they wouldn't be intercepted. They had e-mailed each other a couple of times, but even that hadn't been a true means of communication. Too many e-mails sent between them would surely raise the suspicions of the CIA, and even worse, they weren't really able to discuss anything personal in their e-mails. So essentially, they hadn't exchanged more than a friendly "how are you doing?" in the past three weeks.   
  
Those weeks had felt like something akin to torture for Sydney and she wondered if Vaughn was feeling the same way. She certainly hoped so. Actually, she mused with a smirk, she hoped that the past three weeks had been even harder on him, since all of this had been his doing anyway. She was in the middle of imagining all the suffering *he* was experiencing when she was startled by the sound of the gate opening. Her heart jumped and, for a second, she let herself imagine that Vaughn would be on the other side of the room, but when she opened her eyes she came face to face with her father.  
  
"Oh, it's you," she said, barely able to conceal her disappointment.  
  
"Don't sound so excited to see me," Jack said wryly.  
  
"I'm sorry, Dad, " she smiled apologetically. "It's just that for a moment, I thought . . . nevermind."  
  
Jack could tell by the look on his daughter's face that she had been wishing he were her smitten handler rather than her father.  
  
"How did you find me here?" she asked, as he walked over to her.  
  
"I had an instinct that you'd be here."  
  
*I have an instinct about you.* She smiled to herself as her father's words triggered one of her first memories of Vaughn.  
  
"Actually Sydney, that's not true. Last week, I was just about to pull up to your apartment when I saw you rush out of the house and get in your car. I could see that you were upset, so I followed you, wondering where you were going. I got my answer when you came here and stayed for two hours."  
  
"You sat outside in your car for two hours? Why didn't you come in and say something to me?"  
  
"I assumed you wanted to be alone and I didn't want you to know that I had followed you."  
  
"Well now I know," she said with a mock roll of her eyes.  
  
"Yes, and *I* know that you've been coming here quite a lot lately even though you and Vaughn are no longer meeting here. I don't suppose you'd want to tell me why?" he asked, studying her carefully.  
  
"It's quiet here," she shrugged. "I can think and be alone here."  
  
"Why do you need to be alone?"  
  
"I don't *need* to be alone, I just want to. I *am* alone."  
  
"I assume that this has something to do with you and Agent Vaughn not working together anymore? You never told me why he resigned as your handler, and Ben hasn't told me either. I've been trying not to pry, and technically I suppose it's none of my business, but the fact that you've been so withdrawn for the past few weeks has me concerned." He paused for a moment, his discomfort evident to both of them. "I'm. . . I'm willing to listen if you want to talk," he said stiffly.  
  
Sydney couldn't help but smile at her father's awkward attempt to get her to open up to him. She knew he wasn't fully comfortable doing so, but she appreciated of the effort.  
  
"Did Vaughn do something to upset you Sydney? Because if he did I promise you I'll -- "  
  
"Dad!" Sydney exclaimed, cutting him off. "Mich -- *Vaughn* -- didn't do anything to upset me, not intentionally, anyway. He resigned as my handler because he wanted to protect me and keep me safe, and as much as I wish he hadn't, I understand why he felt like he had to. So for my sake, could you hold off on the bodily harm?"  
  
"Hmph. Why did Vaughn feel as if he needed to remove himself as your handler in order to keep you safe?"  
  
Sydney took a deep breath, debating whether -- and how much -- to tell her father about her relationship with Vaughn. Perhaps now was as good a time as any, considering that he was three thousand miles away and (relatively) safe from the wrath of Jack Bristow.   
  
"He and I were just having some issues working together," she began.  
  
"Such as your inability to take orders from him?" Jack asked as he sat on the crate next to hers. When he saw her surprised expression, he explained, "I've listened in on some of your missions, Sydney, and I've read Vaughn's mission debriefs. You're not the easiest agent to work with."  
  
"Gee, thanks, Dad," she said sarcastically. "I appreciate the compliment, and if you must know, yes, that was part of the problem."  
  
"Well, he simply should have done a better job of asserting his authority over you."  
  
Once again, Sydney looked at her father incredulously. She couldn't believe that he was basically telling her that Vaughn's frustration with her was justified. Of course *she* knew that it was justified, but she hadn't expected her father to agree.   
  
"Um, I think he felt like he couldn't really do that. He didn't think he could be objective about me," she admitted.  
  
"Vaughn hasn't been objective about you since the day you walked into CIA headquarters," Jack scoffed, remembering the way the younger agent had wanted to extract her from the Romanian mental institution and Dinatti Park. "I don't see why things are any different now."  
  
Sydney looked down at her hands in her lap and spoke quietly. "Things are a lot different now. Our relationship is different now."  
  
Jack gave Sydney hard stare. "What do you mean things are *different*?"  
  
"I'm sure you can guess what I mean, Dad," she said, looking back up at him.  
  
"Sydney, I'm not blind. I've noticed the way that you and Vaughn interact with each other. The two of you have a certain . . . chemistry that would be obvious to anyone, but especially to people whose jobs depend on being observant. The attraction between the two of you certainly didn't gone unnoticed by your superiors at the agency, but they overlooked it because the two of you worked so well together and because there were no indications that your behavior had crossed the line into something inappropriate."  
  
"Inappropriate? Do you have any idea how much I've grown to hate that word? My feelings for Vaughn have *never* been inappropriate, despite what the CIA's protocol handbook might say," she said defensively.  
  
"What exactly are your feelings, Sydney? Because if you've been harboring a crush on Vaughn, I can assure you that those feelings are *highly* inappropriate."  
  
"A crush? Dad, 'crush' is *so* not the word to describe my feelings for Vaughn. You don't spill out your guts to a crush. You don't share every thought and emotion that you have, and you certainly don't allow a crush to console you every time someone betrays or hurts you. You don't trust a crush with your life or with your heart. Vaughn isn't a crush, Dad. I'm . . . I'm *in love* with him, and I can't imagine that this comes as a shock to you. And please, spare me the lecture, because there's nothing that you can say that I don't already know. I know all of the reasons why it's foolish and dangerous and impossible for me to love Vaughn, and I just don't care because I do anyway. I love him, and there's nothing you can say or do to change that," she finished, wiping away the hot tears that had begun to fall from her eyes.  
  
"Sydney -- "  
  
"I *love* him, Dad. It's been killing me not to be with him or see him for the past three weeks. So what I really need right now is for you to be my dad, not one of my superior officers. Can you do that?" she sniffled, looking at him with the big brown eyes that had always been able to melt his heart, even if she hadn't always known it.  
  
"Sweetheart," he said, reaching out to take her hand in his. "I knew that you cared a great deal for Vaughn, but I had no idea -- "  
  
"You *had* to have known, Dad," she laughed through her tears. "For goodness sake, I was willing to kill Sloane for him!"  
  
"Well that's not saying much, Sydney. Any reason would have been a good reason to kill Sloane."  
  
"You have a point," she laughed again, wiping away the remainder of her tears with her free hand. "But seriously, there isn't anything in this world that I wouldn't do for Vaughn. I know that that makes him my biggest weakness, but he's also the most incredible source of strength I've ever had."  
  
"Yes, I know what that's like," Jack said thoughtfully.  
  
Sydney glanced at him. "Vaughn's not Mom, Dad. I know what you're probably thinking right now, but -- "  
  
"Sydney, I would never compare your relationship with Vaughn to my relationship with your mother. I don't have any doubts about where Vaughn's loyalties lie, but that doesn't mean that I don't have other concerns. Does he . . .?"  
  
"Yes," she said, anticipating his question. "My feelings are definitely reciprocated," she smiled. "And you'll be happy to know that Vaughn treats me like the sun rises and sets on me. I couldn't ask for anyone better to come into my life, Dad. He's wonderful."  
  
"Glad to hear it," Jack said gruffly. "Because you know I'd kill him if he ever did anything to make you unhappy."  
  
"I don't think he's capable of making me unhappy, at least not intentionally."  
  
"I never said it had to be intentional."  
  
"Daaaad," Sydney groaned. "Stop threatening him, you're making me nervous."  
  
"So how long has this been going on?"  
  
"Since November," she said sheepishly, noticing the way his eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Obviously, we've done a good job of keeping it a secret, which of course we've had to do. We know all the risks and how dangerous it would be if SD-6 discovered us, which isn't an issue anymore now that he's gone."  
  
"Sydney, I understand your desire to be with Vaughn, but for the two of you to be seeing each other, almost daring security section to find you together, is foolish at best and reckless and suicidal at worst," Jack said sternly.  
  
"No lectures, remember?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. "You know, after Danny was murdered, I didn't think I would ever fall in love again. Even worse, I didn't think I would want to, because once I learned the truth about SD-6, I knew that I would never be able to tell a man the truth about my life, and the last thing I wanted was another relationship based on lies. Then I met Vaughn and he was the only person I could be completely honest with, and I fell in love. He put my heart back together, piece by piece, Dad, and no one's ever loved me they way he does. So all the risk and all the danger is worth it, as far as I'm concerned."  
  
Jack sighed, knowing that nothing he said was going to change Sydney's mind. Besides, he figured, with Vaughn across the country, there was little to be concerned about for the moment.  
  
"Who else knows about the two of you?"  
  
"Well, Weiss knows, of course, since he's Michael's best friend."  
  
"Michael?" Jack smirked.  
  
"What? That's his name."  
  
"I know, I've just never heard you use it."  
  
"Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't," she shrugged. "Will also knows."  
  
"Well, I'm sure Mr. Tippin will keep that knowledge to himself after what happened to him last year."  
  
"Um, actually, I think he'll probably keep that knowledge to himself just because I asked him to," she smiled. "He's a good friend and he knows that no one can find out about me and Vaughn."  
  
"So Weiss and Tippin are the only ones who know?"  
  
"Not exactly . . . Mom knows too," she said biting her lip.  
  
"You told your mother? Sydney are you -- "  
  
"I didn't tell her anything. She guessed. She's really perceptive, I'm not sure if you've noticed that," she said facetiously. "It's weird. She's only ever seen Vaughn and I in the same room together once, but she's known about our feelings for each other seemingly since the moment she put herself in CIA custody. It would be unnerving if it weren't for the fact that she seems to actually want us to be together."  
  
"Sydney, I don't think I need to make you aware of the danger of discussing your personal life with your mother."  
  
"No, you don't, Dad. There are a lot of reasons to keep mom and my relationship with Vaughn completely separate from each other."  
  
"Yes, there are. What she did to his family is hard to forgive."  
  
"I know," she sighed. "Mom is the one subject I haven't had the courage to broach with him yet. I've been avoiding having that conversation, although I know it has to come up eventually. We can't go the rest of our lives dancing around it."  
  
"The rest of your lives? Are you anticipating spending that long with him?"  
  
A blush rose up Sydney's face and she looked back down into her lap. "Until the Alliance is destroyed, I'm not really anticipating anything," she said unconvincingly.  
  
"Sydney, you were once ready to spend the rest of your life with Danny. Do you feel that way about Vaughn?" Jack asked, shocked to think that their relationship could have progressed that far already.  
  
"Dad, you know that I've always wanted to get married and have a family," she said, fidgeting uncomfortably at his line of questioning.  
  
"Yes, but now I'm asking you if you want those things with Vaughn."  
  
"Yes." she said quietly.   
  
They were both silent for a few moments, each thinking about her admission.   
  
"Dad, I'm sure you must have something to say about what I just told you. I all but admitted that I want to marry Vaughn one day. Aren't you going to try to talk me out of it?" she smiled.  
  
"Why would I do that?"  
  
"Well, from what I recall, you didn't exactly welcome Danny into the family with open arms."  
  
"Sydney, it was hard to be excited about the prospect of you marrying a man who knew nothing about your life, and knowing what I knew . . ."  
  
"Knowing what you knew about what?"  
  
Jack sighed, trying to find a sensitive way to say what he had to say. "Knowing what I knew about SD-6, knowing how much you *didn't* know, I didn't think that you and Danny had a long-term future. I'm sorry," he squeezed her hand when he saw the look on her face. "Even if Danny hadn't been . . . I didn't think that things would last between the two of you. I was afraid that the secrets and lies would eventually destroy your relationship."  
  
"They would have," she said quietly. She hated to admit that to herself. She had loved Danny so much, but she knew that their relationship had been anything but honest.   
  
"I don't have the same concerns about Vaughn. Obviously, he understands your life in ways that Danny never could. More importantly, I know that he would do anything for you -- sometimes foolishly -- but he'd do it nonetheless."  
  
"Wow. In Jack Bristowese, that's almost a ringing endorsement," she grinned.  
  
"I respect Agent Vaughn, Sydney" Jack said huffily. "You could certainly do worse."  
  
"Well, I couldn't do any better, that's for sure," she smiled. "Dad?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Thank you for letting me talk to you about this and thanks for not reacting the way I thought you would -- angrily," she added when she saw his questioning look. "I thought you'd be upset but instead, you let me talk to you and you listened. Ever since Vaughn left for Langley, I've been in a total funk, but having this conversation with you has made me feel so much better. I can't thank you enough for that."  
  
"You don't have to thank me, Sydney. Actually, I should thank you for confiding in me. I haven't exactly earned the privilege, but I'm glad that you felt that you could tell me something about your life. Besides, you've given me something to hang over Agent Vaughn's head when he returns," he said with a conspiratorial smile.  
  
"Dad!" Sydney laughed. She couldn't remember a time in the last few years when she had felt closer to him than she did at that moment, and she was grateful for it. One of the most important men in her life was thousands of miles away, but thankfully, the other one was there for her when she needed him most.  
  
*****  
  
"Sydney, may I speak with you for a moment?" Sloane asked just after he had wrapped up a briefing with her and Dixon.  
  
"Sure," she replied quickly. Her stomach started to churn as she imagined the many reasons why he might want to talk to her. She followed him into his office and swallowed hard when he pressed a button to close the glass door behind her.  
  
"Have a seat," he said as he sank into his own chair. He leaned back and fixed her with a stare. "I've been concerned about you for the past few weeks, Sydney."  
  
"Concerned? Why have you been concerned about me?"  
  
"You haven't seemed like yourself lately. You've been distracted and subdued. Your work has been superior, as always, but you don't seem to have the same energy that you normally do. I've asked your father about it, but he doesn't seem to think that anything is unusual, which frankly doesn't surprise me. I know the two of you have never been particularly close, and I doubt that you'd tell him if something were wrong. But I like to think that you would feel comfortable telling me," he finished with an indulgent smile.  
  
Sydney almost wanted to throttle him and his assumptions about her relationship with Jack. Instead, she simply looked down at the floor and avoided eye contact with him as she formulated a plan. "Actually, sir, I've just been really tired and maybe a little depressed. Valentine's Day was a few weeks ago, and the holiday reminded me of Danny and . . ." she let her voice trail off and wiped a few tears that she had managed to force from her eyes. "I'm sorry, I just . . . it's been a rough few weeks."  
  
"Sydney, I'm very sorry to hear that. I wish you would have come to me earlier and told me. You've been busy here lately, perhaps too busy." He put a finger to his chin and studied her closely. "I think you should take some time off. We can't have you burning out, can we?" he smiled. "Why don't you take the next week. Perhaps you'll feel better when you return."  
  
"Are you sure?" she asked hesitantly even though she wanted to jump at his offer.   
  
"Absolutely. You're very important to SD-6, Sydney. You're very important to me as well; your well-being is of the utmost importance to me. So take some time off and hopefully when you return, you'll be back to your old self."  
  
"Thank you, sir. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this."  
  
"Well, you can tell me when you get back. Have a good week, Sydney," he said, pulling her up from her chair by her hands and hugging her.  
  
Despite the distaste she felt from his hands being on her, she couldn't help but smile over his shoulder, thinking about the way she had manipulated him into giving her a week off. Now she simply had to decide what she was going to do with it.  
  
*****  
  
"Great job as usual, Sydney," Sylvia smiled as she held the mini-camera that Sydney had just handed her. On the camera were photographs of floorplans for a weapons factory.   
  
"Thanks. I should tell you that Sloane gave me some time off, so I won't be getting any new missions for the next week."  
  
"Really?" Sylvia asked with surprise. "How did that come about?"  
  
"Just out of the blue," she shrugged. "He said that I hadn't seemed like myself for the past few weeks, so I kind of took advantage of his concern and he ended up giving me the week off," she smiled sheepishly.  
  
"Well, if Sloane's giving you the week off, so is the CIA. So don't worry about getting any calls from us."  
  
"Thanks," Sydney smiled. Over the last month, she had come to genuinely like and respect Sylvia. She was tough and no-nonsense when they were working together, but she was also friendly and almost maternal towards Sydney. It hadn't taken them long at all to establish a good working relationship with each other.  
  
"So, Sloane first noticed a change in you a few weeks ago," Sylvia said slowly. "I don't suppose that would have been around the time that I took over as your handler?"  
  
"Oh, it doesn't have anything to do with you," Sydney said quickly. "You've been great, really."  
  
"Thanks for the kind words, but I didn't think it had anything to do with me. Actually, I was, uh, guessing that it had something to do with Agent Vaughn." She watched closely as Sydney started to blush. "I'm sure you must miss him."  
  
"What makes you think that?"  
  
"Well, I've read over the files he left for me. The two of you were an excellent team. You seemed to work really well together, and based on the things that he said about you, I could tell that he liked and respected you a great deal. It must have been hard to deal with the transition when he left for Langley."  
  
"If you don't mind me asking, what kind of things did he say about me?" Sydney asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.  
  
"Just that you were an excellent agent, one of the best he had ever worked with and that you were smart, brave and capable. To be honest, he was practically gushing about you. He had so many good things to say that I was a little confused about why he was resigning as your handler."  
  
Sydney smiled, pleased to hear all of the things that Vaughn had said about her. "He and I had other issues," she said softly. "He thought I might be better off with another handler. I wasn't thrilled about his decision, but working with you has been great. He told me that it would be."  
  
Sylvia smiled at her. "Well, it's obvious that he cares a great deal about you. He calls me every few days to ask me how you're doing and what kind of successes you've been having. Hearing the pride in his voice, you'd almost think that your successes were his too."  
  
"They are," Sydney said softly. She had felt that way when they worked together and she still did, even with him in Virginia.  
  
"Well listen, I'm going to wrap this up. I'm sure that you're eager to start enjoying your week off, so I guess I'll see you when you return. Do you have plans?"  
  
"Nope. Most likely I'll spend the entire week in bed eating ice cream and watching old movies," she laughed. Actually, that sounded like a plan, seeing as how she couldn't think of a better one.  
  
"Well, that sounds like a perfect way to spend a week to me. Take care, Sydney," Sylvia smiled before she walked away.  
  
Sydney walked down a hallway and gasped when she ran into a familiar face. "Weiss!" she squealed. "Where have you been hiding? I haven't seen you in forever."  
  
"I know," he said, giving her a hug. "I was busy for the last couple of weeks, putting together a presentation for a seminar at Langley. I just got back last night."  
  
"You were in Virginia?" Sydney asked, wide-eyed. "Did you. . . ?"  
  
"Yes, I hung out with Mike while I was there. Hey, walk with me back to my desk, for a minute?"  
  
"Sure," she agreed as they walked back into the rotunda. "So how's he doing?"  
  
"He's great, but missing you like crazy. All he did the whole time I was there was talk about you," he grinned.  
  
"Good. He *should* miss me since it's his fault we're not together right now."  
  
"You're a vindictive one, aren't you?" he teased as she playfully swatted him on the arm.   
  
"Did he say anything about how his project is progressing?"  
  
"Just that everything's on schedule and that it's going well. Speaking of which," he said, opening a drawer at his desk and pulling out a white envelope, "he asked me to give you this."  
  
She took the envelope from his hand and looked at it quizzically. "What's this?"  
  
"I don't know, he refused to tell me, but he told me to tell you to hang on to them. He said you'd understand," he shrugged.  
  
Sydney carefully opened the envelope, too impatient to wait until she was alone. She was surprised to find that there was no note inside, just a blank sheet of paper. Folded inside the paper were two airline tickets, one in her name and one in his, dated July 2nd, a little more than three months away.  
  
"Airline tickets?" Weiss asked, confused. "Where to?"  
  
"A deserted island," she smiled, remembering his promise to her. "The Maldives." She didn't need a note because Vaughn's message to her was clear: by July, she was going to be a free woman.  
  
  
TBC . . . 


	13. Virginia

"So how are Uncle Jean and Aunt Sophie doing?" Vaughn asked as a waiter set drinks on the table he was sharing with his mother.  
  
"They're both fine," Elise Vaughn smiled. "They want to know when you're going to visit them."  
  
Vaughn smiled, remembering how he had promised Sydney that he would one day take her to the vineyard owned by his mother's family. "Soon, maybe even sometime this year."  
  
"Good, they miss you so much, the whole family does. They never see you anymore."  
  
"They realize that there are planes that fly from France to the United States, not just in the other direction, right? As much as they claim to miss me, they've never come to visit me in L.A. They act like the United States begins and ends with the D.C. metro area," he smirked  
  
Elise laughed. "You have a point. But really, you have to go see Nathalie's new baby. He's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen, except for you, and Jean and Sophie spoil him rotten. I suppose that's how it is with your first grandchild -- not that I would know from personal experience," she said with a wistful sigh.  
  
Vaughn shook his head. "Mom, you are so many things, but subtle is not one of them. I'm well aware of how much you want to be a grandmother, and you know what your problem is? You have too many friends who are grandparents."  
  
"Yes, and I have to live vicariously through them, apparently," she chided, giving her son a knowing look. "What kind of mother would I be if I didn't constantly pressure you to settle down?"  
  
"I don't know, but you wouldn't be *my* mother, that's for sure," he laughed. "Mom, I promise you, one day you will have grandchildren, even if I have to go to a store and buy them."  
  
"Michael, you are terrible! Though I have to say that I missed you and your strange sense of humor while I was gone. It figures that when you finally came home for a while, I'd be the one who had to go on a business trip. We both work too hard," she sighed. "Speaking of which, how is work?"  
  
"It's good, but it's definitely keeping me busy." He knew that was a generic answer, but he also knew that he couldn't tell her any details about the Alliance project. "It looks like I'll probably be here for another two or three months."  
  
"Two or three months isn't very long at all," Elise frowned. To Vaughn, it seemed like an eternity, but he didn't want to tell his mother that.  
  
"Perhaps when your project is completed, you could stay at Langley instead of going back to Los Angeles," she suggested innocently, as if she hadn't already floated the idea on more than one occasion.  
  
"Mom," Vaughn groaned, "we've had this conversation -- repeatedly. I can't stay here in Washington when my life is in L.A."  
  
"What life? All you do is work, sweetheart -- work and play hockey," she corrected herself. "You could do that here *and* come to dinner at the house every week."  
  
"Mom, you spend half your time flying back and forth between here and Paris," Vaughn protested. "We wouldn't see each other nearly as often as you think we would."  
  
"Excuses, excuses, Michael. The only reason I can imagine why you'd want to stay in L.A. is because of a woman . . . "  
  
"Here we go again," Vaughn said with an amused roll of his eyes. He loved his mother dearly, but she was relentless when she was fishing for information.  
  
"Yes, here we go again, Michael," she sighed. "This would all be so much easier if you would just tell me the truth, but since you refuse to do that, I can't help but pester you. I *know* that you're seeing someone even if you won't tell me anything about her."  
  
Vaughn shrugged and looked away. "I told you I was seeing someone," he said weakly. It was taking all the self control he had not to tell his mother everything about Sydney. He desperately wanted to spill his guts to someone, and ever since Eric had flown back to L.A., there hadn't been anyone for him to talk to. But he knew that if he started telling his mother about Sydney, she would ask all kinds of questions that he couldn't answer right now.  
  
"Michael, is this woman married?" Elise cautiously asked.  
  
"No! Why would you ask that?"  
  
"Because you've been so secretive about her. What am I supposed to think? Until now, you've always told me about your girlfriends, even the ones that I've disliked."  
  
"Mom, the woman that I'm seeing is *not* married, and there's nothing wrong with her that I'm trying to hide from you. It's just that our situation is complicated, and it will be until my work here is finished. So can we just leave it at that for now?"  
  
"I suppose -- for now," she reluctantly agreed. She smiled reverently at her only child as she leaned back in her seat.  
  
"What?" he asked self-consciously.  
  
"You remind me so much of your father sometimes. I've never met two men better at keeping secrets. It's no wonder you were both so drawn to the CIA." She looked down at her wine glass and shook her head slightly. "I can't believe that I ever tried to talk you out of working for the agency. Now, I think that it was your destiny."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes," she nodded. "Your father used to always talk about how much he hoped that you would follow in his footsteps, and I always wanted that too until he died. After that, I didn't want you anywhere near that life, but I should have known I couldn't stop you."  
  
"You tried." He said it as a fact, not an accusation, remembering how she had urged him during his senior year of college to apply to law school rather than the CIA.  
  
"I know and I'm not proud of that, but I was scared -- terrified, actually -- at the thought that I might lose another man I loved to that job. And I almost did a few times," she said with a small smile and a raised eyebrow.  
  
"That was years ago, mom. My job's not that dangerous anymore."  
  
"I know. One of the happiest days of my life was when you came back from Paris and decided to take a desk job at Langley. And since then, you've advanced so fast," she said in awe. "Your father would be just so proud of you and the man you've become."  
  
Vaughn looked down at the table cloth, deep in thought. He often wondered how his father would feel about his career. He assumed that he would be proud, but hearing his mother say so was validating, even though it wasn't anything she hadn't told him before.  
  
"Of course," she smiled slyly, "your father would be even prouder if there were children to carry on the Vaughn family name."   
  
"Mom! You never give up, do you?" he asked, laughing as she shook her head no in response.  
  
*****  
  
On Wednesday, Vaughn sat in his office and stared at his computer screen, thinking about dinner a few nights before and the almost comical way in which his mother had tried to trick him into opening up about his personal life. He had deftly avoided falling into her traps, but not without a concerted effort on his part. However, the end result of her probing was that he spent the entire night thinking about Sydney, not that he hadn't spent *every* night for the past month doing that. After a month apart from her, he had come to an undeniable conclusion: he had been a fool to resign as her handler. Rationally, he knew that he had done the right thing because their involvement was making it nearly impossible for them to effectively do their jobs. That realization had been painful, but nowhere near as painful as making the decision to resign as her handler. The only thing that allowed him to stick to his decision was the fact that he didn't want to be a liability to her. Besides, he had told himself that it would be easier to sleep at night knowing that she was working with someone who could handle her objectively.   
  
The reality, however, was that he *wasn't* sleeping at night. He had always had difficulty sleeping when Sydney was away on missions, but now that he no longer knew when she was on a mission or when she wasn't, it was impossible for him to sleep. The almost total lack of information about her whereabouts and well-being was more than he could endure and as a result, he had turned into a complete insomniac, as evidenced by he accumulation of useless informercial products in his temporary home.   
  
Though he had initially convinced himself that it was a smart professional decision for him to resign as her handler, by the end of his first week at Langley, he had completely changed his mind. The project he was working on was mentally stimulating and it was exciting to know that he was actively involved in planning the demise of the Alliance. So far, his superiors at Langley had been impressed with his work and he knew that it might possibly lead to a promotion when the project was over. But he couldn't deny how much he missed the excitement and challenge of working with Sydney. He missed their partnership, the feeling of working together to bring down SD-6, and the exhilaration every time she was successful in one of her countermissions. He always believed that his need to be with Sydney was primarily personal and emotional, but he now understood that it was professional, as well. He realized that he had never been more focused than when he was working with her and he had never worked with an agent as good as she was.  
  
That said, as he lay in bed staring at the ceiling every night, he knew that his professional need for Sydney didn't even begin to compare to the emotional ache that he felt for her in every corner of his soul. At times, he missed her so much that he could hardly breathe, thinking about her smile, her laugh, the way her eyes flashed when she was upset or angry, the way she could make his heart skip a beat just by walking into a room, the feel of her body when she was next to him. He was so hopelessly in love with her that being without her was complete and utter torture, so much so that he would have sold his soul to the devil just to spend five minutes with her.  
  
That had been the impetus for asking Eric to give her the tickets to the Maldives. He wanted her to know that he was thinking both of her and their future together. He needed her to know that he was still committed to her, and that when this was over, he was going to fulfill every promise he had ever made to her, starting with the deserted island, then meeting his mother, and then seeing the vineyard in France. But those were just the promises he had spoken aloud. Though she wasn't aware of it, he had made hundreds more promises in his heart, and he had every intention of fulfilling those too.  
  
Vaughn's musings about Sydney were interrupted by a loud, booming voice in the hallway outside his office. "Mike, come on, man. It's quitting time!"   
  
Vaughn looked up and saw his friend Thomas Carter standing in the doorway. As much as he missed Sydney, he had to admit that the Langley assignment had a few benefits, among them, the opportunity to spend time with his mother and the chance to reconnect with old friends, some of whom he'd known going back to their days as new Langley recruits and others he'd worked with when he returned from the Paris field office. Tom was a friend going back to their days at the Farm.  
  
"Hey, Tom. I'm just waiting for my computer to shut down, but I'm sure they'll save some drinks for us, don't worry," Vaughn teased his friend.  
  
Tom laughed and unloosened his tie. "I need a *few* drinks after nearly getting my ass capped in the Caymans yesterday."  
  
"The Caymans?" Vaughn shook his head and laughed. "Gee, Tommy, they give you all the toughest assignments, huh?"  
  
"You know it. I don't understand why I never get the easy ones, like Croatia."  
  
"Maybe 'cause Briggs knows you're the only agent who could almost get shot opening a safety deposit box. That takes talent most of us don't possess," Vaughn smirked.  
  
"Yep, that's why they pay me the big bucks. So how's the Alliance thing coming?"  
  
"It's coming," Vaughn said as his computer finally shut down and he stood up from his chair and grabbed his briefcase. "Right now, we're in the process of cleaning out some of SD-1's bank accounts."  
  
"And stashing the money into your own bank accounts?" Tom laughed as they made their way to the parking lot.  
  
"Hey, no one's supposed to know about that. Who's meeting us at the bar?"  
  
"The usual crew -- Dave, Alex, Nina, Johnson, Chris, and Melissa," Tom said, watching Vaughn for a reaction.  
  
Vaughn looked at Tom quizzically. "Why are you looking at me like that?"  
  
"No reason," Tom said with a shrug.  
  
Ten minutes later, they entered Riley's, a bar popular with CIA agents for both its proximity to headquarters and its relaxed atmosphere. Vaughn followed Tom to a round booth in the corner where their friends and two pitchers of beer were already waiting for them.  
  
"Damn, it's about time you guys got here," crowed Vince Johnson. "You've gotta stop making the rest of us look bad by working so late."  
  
"I wasn't working late," Tom laughed. "You know me better than that. I was fooling around in my office waiting on Mike, since I was giving him a ride. He's the reason we're late."  
  
"Sorry," Vaughn shrugged nonchalantly.  
  
"Hey, don't apologize for being dedicated to your job," Nina Marquez smiled. "That's why Mike's a senior officer and no one else at this table is," she smirked.  
  
"Mike's a senior officer 'cause he slept his way to the top," Vince cracked. Even Vaughn had to laugh at that. Technically, he had been promoted because Sydney demanded it, and he *was* sleeping with her now, though their relationship had been strictly platonic and only slightly friendly when he received his promotion.  
  
"Well, you've got to admit there aren't too many senior officers in the company who are as gorgeous as Mike is."   
  
Vaughn looked up from his beer to see Melissa Banks smiling back at him flirtatiously. He gave her a weak smile in return as the other agents in the booth shot each other knowing looks. After he returned from Paris, Vaughn spent the better part of two years working at Langley and flirting with Melissa. They had been good friends and were obviously attracted to each other, but professionalism, timing, and circumstances had conspired to keep them apart and just after they finally acknowledged their attraction to each other, Vaughn received the promotion that took him to Los Angeles. Initially, he and Melissa had kept in touch, but the distance between them proved too great, and they had both moved on with other people. Since his return to Langley, they had hung out a few times in a group with the other agents, but hadn't spent any significant time alone with each other.  
  
Vaughn looked back down into his beer, uncomfortable at the way that Melissa was openly staring at him in front of everyone else. Maybe it was the alcohol that was making her bolder than usual, but it unnerved him nonetheless. He quietly excused himself from the booth, claiming that he needed to make a phone call, then walked outside. Once he was outside, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, enjoying the feel of the cool March air on his face. Seeing Melissa looking at him that way had only made him start thinking about Sydney again and how much he missed her. Right now he wished that instead of being at a bar with his friends, he could be alone with Sydney anywhere else in the world. He was lost in that fantasy when he was startled by a familiar voice behind him.  
  
"You okay, Mike?" He turned to see Melissa looking at him with obvious concern. "You said you were making a phone call, but you've been out here for so long that I offered to check on you."  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just needed some fresh air," he said with a small smile.  
  
"Not on account of me, I hope? I didn't mean to embarrass back in there. I forgot how modest you are," she smirked as he ducked his head and smiled self-consciously. "It's so weird that you've been here for a month and we've hardly spent any time together.   
  
"You've been out of town a lot," he shrugged.  
  
"Yeah, I have, but things are settling down now, and I don't think I have to go back to London until next month. So," she said, taking a deep breath, "I was hoping that maybe we could get together sometime. You know, maybe go to a movie one night or a hockey game. The Kings are playing the Caps in couple of weeks, and I *know* you don't want to miss that," she teased.  
  
Truthfully, he didn't, but he knew that there was no way that he would go to the game with Melissa. Ever since the day he and Sydney learned the truth about her mother and she asked him to a hockey game, he had sworn to himself that he wouldn't go to another hockey game unless it was with her. He was willing to wait as long as necessary for that day to come, and he was in the home stretch now.  
  
"Yeah, maybe we could go to a movie sometime," he said, nonchalantly.  
  
"Gee, Mike, try not to sound so enthused," she said ruefully.  
  
"Mel, I'm sorry," he said shaking his head and smiling at her. "I didn't mean to sound like that. I just . . . I'm in a weird mood tonight."  
  
"It's okay. I know you've been working really hard since you got here. Trying to impress the higher-ups, are we? One of the things I used to admire so much about you was how ambitious you were and I guess it payed off, huh, Mr. Senior Officer?"  
  
"You just live to tease me, don't you? You always did," he laughed.  
  
"I just like seeing the way that you blush and smile when I do it," she grinned as he proved her right. "I really missed you, Mike," she said softly. "One of my biggest regrets is that we never fully explored whatever it was between us. I know that you're only here for a few months, but I was hoping that we could do that while you're here."   
  
Vaughn was stunned by Melissa's admission. The last thing he had expected to hear was that she was still carrying a torch for him, especially since they had both moved on and had other relationships since he moved to L.A.   
  
"Melissa, I . . ."  
  
"I know," she interjected. "We've barely spent ten minutes together since you've been back and I dropped this on you out of nowhere. It's just that the moment I saw you again, all those old feelings from a few years ago came back to the surface. I always felt like you were the one who got away. Maybe you could be the one who came back," she said with a flirtatious smile.  
  
"Mel . . . I used to always wonder what would have happened between us if I had stayed here, whether we would have ever gotten our act together and moved past the flirting stage. But I don't think I'll ever find out the answer to that question, because I'm seeing someone," he said gently.  
  
"Oh," she said with a shocked expression before she covered her face with her hands. "Oh my god, I can't believe I just did that! I didn't think you were seeing anyone. I asked around and no one had heard you mention a girlfriend. Oh god . . . this is so embarrassing!"  
  
"Please don't be embarrassed," Vaughn said, using his hands to pry her hands from her face. "I haven't mentioned my girlfriend to anyone at the office, so no one knows."  
  
"Oh. Why wouldn't you mention her to your friends?" she asked curiously.  
  
Vaughn sighed. "It's complicated . . . I had my reasons."  
  
"Are you happy? Is it serious?" she asked when he nodded in response to her first question.  
  
"Yes, it's very serious, and she's amazing."  
  
Melissa took a long look at the blissful but far away expression on his face. "Is she an agent? Never mind, that's none of my business," she said when she saw Vaughn's face briefly cloud over. She briefly looked down at the ground, then back up at Vaughn. "I can't believe that I'm saying this, but I'm happy for you if you're happy."  
  
"Well currently, I'm miserable because I miss her so much, but when I'm with her, I'm incredibly happy, so thank you. One day, you're going to meet someone who feels the same way about you."  
  
"Yeah well, I'm not holding my breath waiting for that day to come," Melissa muttered. "So I hope I haven't made so big a fool of myself that we can't still be friends. I would hate it if you felt uncomfortable around me."  
  
"I don't," he reassured her as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her cheek. "We'll always be friends, even if some of us are too busy to call every now and then."  
  
"Hey!" she protested, slapping him playfully on the arm. "I don't recall hearing *your* voice on my voicemail that often. Besides, I'm not so sure it will be a good idea to call you when you go back to L.A. I wouldn't want your girlfriend getting jealous," she said, making a face to let him know she was only joking.  
  
"I don't think she'd be jealous," he said with grin.  
  
"Ahh . . . she's secure in your feelings for her? Knows she has you wrapped around her finger?"  
  
"Pretty much," he laughed. "She's got me right where she wants me."  
  
"Well, I hope she's smart enough to keep you there, 'cause I've got first dibs if she's not."  
  
"I'll tell her you said so."  
  
"Good," she nodded. "So, since we're *friends* and all, I was wondering if I could take you to dinner sometime soon. That's something that friends do, right?"  
  
"Definitely."  
  
"Actually, I have an ulterior motive; I want to pump you for information about the Paris field office."  
  
"Are you thinking about a transfer?" he asked with surprise.  
  
"Yes. It's been something I've been thinking about for the past two months or so. I kind of pushed it to the back of my mind for a while, but I think it's time for me to really consider it, and who better to ask about the experience than you? I know you loved it there."  
  
"Yeah, I did. I'd be happy to tell you all about it, so dinner sounds great."  
  
"Good," she beamed at him. "Well, I guess we should probably go back inside before they send a search party for us."  
  
"After you," he smiled as he held the door open and followed her back inside.  
  
*****  
  
Sydney handed money to the cab driver and closed the door behind her. She took a deep breath and watched the cab drive off, then turned to look at the handsome brick townhouse in front of her. She exhaled slowly and realized that she had actual butterflies in her stomach. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this way. She walked up to the door and knocked loudly twice. When no one answered, she set her luggage down and reached into her carry-on bag, pulling out an electric lock pick and an alarm descrambler. Sometimes it paid to be a spy, she thought with a small laugh. In a matter of minutes, she had entered the foyer of the townhouse and disabled the alarm. She placed her gadgets back in her bag and retrieved her luggage from the walkway outside. After she closed the door behind her, she walked into the living room, admiring its cream, navy and crimson decor. She had just turned to leave the living room and explore the rest of the townhouse when a chubby bulldog ran up to her feet and started barking.  
  
"Donovan!" she exclaimed. She knelt down, held out her hand for him to smell, then petted him once he stopped barking. Soon, he was standing on his hind legs and licking her face. "Some guard dog *you* are," she said, laughing at his friendly demeanor. "I don't suppose your owner is home, huh?"   
  
She stood back up and took a quick tour of the townhouse as Donovan trailed along behind her. It was just as well that Vaughn wasn't home, since it gave her more time to collect herself and figure out how she was going to explain her presence in the townhouse he was subletting from one of his former law school classmates. After spending a miserable day moping around her apartment, she had decided to take the risk of flying out to visit Vaughn. She first badgered Weiss into telling her where he was staying, then bought a seat on a flight to Washington, praying that she wasn't being tailed by SD-6. Honestly though, she couldn't have cared less if she *was* being tailed. Her need to see Vaughn outweighed every other consideration in her life, something she explained to Jack when he urged her to think rationally and stay in L.A.   
  
Now she was here, anxious and excited to see him again for the first time in a month. She was already bracing herself for his inevitable reaction, knowing that he'd probably flip out about the risk she had taken in visiting him. She would just have to distract him with sex if he did flip out, she thought with a wicked grin. She grabbed her suitcase and carried it up to his bedroom. She was just about to turn off the light and leave his room when she noticed a t-shirt and running shorts tossed on the bed. She walked over and picked the t-shirt up, bringing it to her nose and inhaling deeply. It smelled like Vaughn, and it stirred a longing in her so intense that she was overwhelmed by the force of her emotions. She had missed him even more than she realized, and she could barely wait for him to get home so she could see and touch him and be reminded of how incredible it felt to be with him. She took a brief glance at her watch and saw that it was already 8:30. She had expected him to be home by now, but it was Friday night, so maybe he had gone out with friends, she reasoned. She knew she couldn't call him since her arrival was supposed to be a surprise, so she was just going to have to wait patiently for him to come home. She dug a book out of her carry-on and made her way back down to the couch in the living room, deciding she would read while she waited for him.  
  
Two hours later, she was still curled up on the couch with Donovan, still waiting for Vaughn. She set her book down with a restless sigh and stood up to stretch. Looking down at Donovan, she decided to take him out in the small backyard. When she realized how cool it was, she went back inside to grab her jacket, coming to a halt when she heard a key turning in the front door. Her heart jumped and a huge grin spread across her face as she realized that Vaughn was finally home. She wanted to run into the foyer to greet him, but instead decided to stay in the living room and wait for him to appear.  
  
"That's so weird. I could've sworn I turned the alarm on this morning," she heard him say as his footsteps approached the living room. Her heart practically stopped when he stepped into the room and they laid eyes on each other for the first time in a month. He looked even better than she remembered, despite the shocked expression on his face. She watched as the shock soon gave way to a joyful smile and she felt her own grin become wider. She was just about to cross the room to hug him when she heard a female voice coming from behind him.  
  
"Michael, I thought you said . . ." the voice trailed off as a woman entered the living room and stared quizzically at Sydney. Sydney herself was so stunned that she could do nothing but stare back. The last thing she had expected when Vaughn came home was to find him with another woman. She looked expectantly at Vaughn, waiting for him to explain the situation. Apparently, she wasn't the only one who wanted an explanation.  
  
"So, Michael, are you going to introduce me to your guest or not?" the other woman asked.  
TBC . . . 


	14. Reunion

A/N: There are two versions of this chapter. This is the PG-13 chapter for FF.net. But I couldn't fight my inner smut demon, so there's an NC-17 version as well that's posted at Allies and the SD-1 boards, if you'd rather read that version. Thanks for reading and for the feedback. You guys have been great! (Also, I'm having some kind of formatting problem, so sorry that the Chapter title and the "TBC" are smashed up against the text.)  
  
Chapter 14: "Reunion"  
"So, Michael, are you going to introduce me to your guest or not?"  
  
Sydney wanted to smile at the amused tone of the other woman's voice and the deer-in-the-headlights expression on Vaughn's face, but she thought better of it, desperately wanting to make a good impression on the elegant woman standing across from her.  
  
Vaughn tried to gather his bearings as the two women in the living room took turns looking expectantly at him. This certainly wasn't the way he had ever expected or intended for them to meet, and his mind raced to find a proper way to introduce the two most important women in his life to each other.  
  
Vaughn cleared his throat. "Um, Sydney Bristow, this is Elise Vaughn," he said gesturing to the woman next to him. "Mom, this is Sydney, my . . ."   
  
Sydney raised an eyebrow and looked at Vaughn pointedly, as if to ask, your *what*?  
  
"My girlfriend," Vaughn said as he took her hand in his and pulled her closer to him. Sydney couldn't believe how good it felt to hear him say those words in the presence of another person. She knew she didn't need words to validate her place in Vaughn's life, but hearing him introduce her to his mother as his girlfriend somehow made their Omega-17 classified relationship seem real. Vaughn smiled when he saw her radiant smile, and then turned to his mother who was clearly surprised and happy to be meeting the mysterious woman about whom he'd been so tight-lipped.  
  
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Sydney," she said with a warm smile as she shook Sydney's hand.  
  
"You too, Mrs. Vaughn. I wasn't expecting this at all, so please forgive my appearance," she said, looking down at her jeans and long-sleeved t-shirt. After spending most of her day on a plane, she was afraid she looked incredibly grungy, especially in comparison to Mrs. Vaughn's tailored slacks and silk blouse.  
  
"Oh nonsense! You're gorgeous, and please, call me Elise. You can save 'Mrs. Vaughn' for Michael's grandmother. *So*, this is quite a surprise, isn't it? I can't believe you didn't tell me that Sydney was coming for a visit, Michael," she said accusingly.  
  
Vaughn held his hands up in mock surrender. "I had no idea she was coming, so you're not the only one who's surprised. How exactly did you get in here?" he asked as he turned to Sydney who wore a guilty expression on her face. "Forget I asked," he laughed. She shot him a grateful smile and turned back to Elise.  
  
"Michael's telling the truth, he had no idea I was coming. I unexpectedly got a week off from work, so I decided to surprise him."  
  
Vaughn bit back a smile as he remembered what happened the last time Sydney unexpectedly got time off from SD-6.  
  
"Well, he's obviously very happy to see you," Elise said, noticing that he could barely take his eyes off of Sydney. "So what kind of work do you do back in Los Angeles?"  
  
Sydney glanced uncertainly at Vaughn, not knowing what, if anything, he had told his mother about her. "I, um . . ."  
  
Elise Vaughn had never been a spy herself, but after being married to one and raising another one, she was observant enough to notice Michael and Sydney's suddenly tense body language. She remembered what Michael had told her at dinner a few nights ago about his love life being "complicated" and the pieces quickly fell into place. "You work with Michael, don't you?"  
  
"Yes, we work together," Vaughn said with a bemused smile. It was impossible to get anything over on his inquisitive mother.   
  
"Are you an agent?"  
  
"Yes, I am," Sydney nodded, though that didn't begin to tell the half of it.  
  
"Just how closely do the two of you work together?" Elise asked, turning to Vaughn.  
  
"I'm Sydney's handler, Mom," Vaughn sighed. "I'm sure I don't have to tell you what that means."  
  
"It means the two of you shouldn't be seeing each other. No wonder you've been so secretive," she chuckled. "The CIA and its protocol . . . so ridiculous. Your father used to always say that the only reason the company made those rules was so they could be broken."  
  
Vaughn and Sydney shared quick, knowing smiles and then looked away from each other. "I don't have to ask you not to say anything about Sydney to anyone, do I?"  
  
"Michael, please. I can be discreet. I *did* learn a thing or two from being married to your father, my goodness," she huffed with mock indignation. "But surely you know that the two of you can't hide your relationship forever."  
  
"Well, in a few months we may not have to anymore," Vaughn said hopefully. "Mom, listen. The fact that Sydney works for the CIA isn't really an issue, but -- and you *absolutely* cannot mention this to another living soul -- Sydney is a double agent working undercover for us right now. That's the real reason that no one can know about our relationship."  
  
"Oh," Elise nodded, clearly surprised by his revelation. "I see. Is it safe for you to be here, Sydney?" she asked with obvious concern.  
  
"I think so. I doubt that anyone from SD-6 is monitoring me this week," she said, more for Vaughn's benefit than Elise's. When she saw his eyes briefly cloud over, considering the possibility that she might be wrong, she shot him a look, silently pleading with him not to make an issue out of it. "Coming here probably wasn't the smartest idea in the world, but I couldn't stay away from Michael. I missed him desperately," she admitted, wrapping her arms around his left arm and leaning her head on his shoulder.  
  
Elise smiled, remembering what it felt like to be young and in love. "Well, since you've come all this way I hope that you and Michael can spend some quality time with each other this week. God knows he needs someone to drag him away from that office," she grumbled good-naturedly. "Speaking of the office, I need to check my voicemail, so if you'll excuse me, I'll be back in a few minutes."  
  
"Thanks Mom," Vaughn smirked as he and Sydney watched her leave the room. Noticing Sydney's confused expression, he explained, "My mom checked her voicemail just before we left the restaurant. I think she just wanted to give us a few minutes alone."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"So I could do this," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his lips to hers. He kissed her slowly as he reacquainted himself with her, having somehow forgotten how incredible it felt to kiss her. It all came flooding back to him as she hungrily kissed him back, slipping her tongue into his mouth and sending shivers racing down his spine. He threaded his fingers through her hair and pulled her closer to him, moaning softly as her fingertips brushed across the back of his neck. After an agonizing month apart from her, the last thing in the world he wanted to do was break their kiss, but he did a minute later when he felt his lungs burning and screaming for oxygen. He broke apart from her reluctantly, resting his forehead against hers as he tried to catch his breath. He smiled at her as he took her hands in his and squeezed them.  
  
"God, I missed you," he breathed.  
  
"I missed you too, obviously," she said with a breathless laugh.  
  
"I can't believe you're here."  
  
"Me either. I hope you're not upset, but I just couldn't sit in L.A. for a week doing nothing, when I knew that this was probably the only chance I'd get to see you until July. I had to come."   
  
"I'm so glad you did. I've been miserable without you, Syd. I know it's crazy for you to be here, but I don't care. I've never needed anything more than I need to be with you now. Even just standing here with you feels so amazing."  
  
"I know," she smiled, "seeing you was worth the risk, although my dad had a difference of opinion." At that, Vaughn pulled his forehead away from hers and looked at her closely.  
  
"Wait, your father knows that you're here?"  
  
"Well, I had to tell him where I was going so he wouldn't worry and so he could make sure that security section wouldn't track me."  
  
"And how exactly did you explain your destination?" he asked with an amused smile.  
  
"I told him that I needed to be with the man I loved," she said simply.  
  
"You didn't," he said incredulously.  
  
"I did," she smiled. "He knows about us now."  
  
"Since when?" Vaughn asked, growing pale at the thought that Jack knew about their relationship.  
  
"Since last week when I told him. He was concerned about me and he wanted to know why I'd been so miserable since you left. So I told him the truth," she shrugged.  
  
"And you did that a week ago? That should have given him plenty of time to put a hit out on me."  
  
"He wouldn't do anything like that. Well, maybe he would," she acknowledged when she saw his dubious expression. Actually, he *did* threaten you with bodily harm if you ever do anything to hurt me, but I know that you never would," she said, running her fingers through his hair.   
  
"So how badly did he take the news?"  
  
"Shockingly, he took it really well. He was actually supportive, if you can believe that. And it's not like he didn't already know how we felt about each other. I think he knew it was inevitable, although obviously, he was hoping that nothing would happen until after SD-6 was gone, but he seems okay with it. I doubt he'll ever tell you, but in his own weird way, I think he likes you."  
  
"I think you might be overstating it just a bit," Vaughn rolled his eyes.  
  
"No seriously, I think he does. I know for a fact that he respects you and I know that he trusts you with me." Vaughn raised an eyebrow at that.  
  
"Does he?" he asked in a low, seductive voice that made her whole body tingle. "Because if he had any idea of the things I want to do to you right now, he wouldn't trust me at all."   
  
"I won't tell if you don't tell," she grinned before leaning in for another tantalizing kiss.  
  
They were so engrossed in kissing each other that they didn't notice a few minutes later when Elise walked back into the room. She cleared her throat softly to alert them to her presence, and smiled when they jumped away from each other, embarrassed to have been caught.  
  
"Sorry to interrupt, I just needed to grab my purse before I left."  
  
"Oh, Mrs. Vaug -- Elise --" Sydney corrected herself. "You're not leaving so soon, are you?"  
  
"Yes, dear, I need to go. It's late and I have a breakfast meeting in the morning."  
  
"On a Saturday?" Vaughn asked.  
  
"Yes, the trade minister has a few more things he wants to discuss before he returns to Paris tomorrow," Elise explained. "Besides, it's obvious that you and Sydney can't wait to be alone, so I'm going to go gracefully before you throw me out," she smiled. "However, I'd love for the two of you to come over for dinner tomorrow, if you aren't busy."  
  
"I would love that," Sydney beamed.  
  
"Good. Then I'll see the two of you at seven, and don't even think about bringing anything, Michael" she admonished as she gave him a kiss on both cheeks. "Sydney," she said, wrapping her in a warm hug, "it was lovely to meet you, and I look forward to getting to know you better tomorrow evening."  
  
"So do I, Elise." Vaughn gave her hand a quick squeeze before he left to walk Elise out to her car. It was just then that Sydney remembered she had left Donovan outside when she came back in to get her jacket. She opened the sliding glass window and he came barreling back into the living room just as Vaughn returned.   
  
"Donny!" he grinned as the dog ran over to him. "Were you a good boy for Sydney?" Donovan wagged his tail excitedly as if to say yes. "I bet you were excited when she got here, huh? You're not used to being around someone so gorgeous, are you?"  
  
"Please, he spends every day with you; I'm sure he's used to it." She smiled as he started to blush at the compliment she paid him. He could be so adorable sometimes.  
  
Vaughn stood up from his squatting position and looked back down at Donovan. "Well, tomorrow you can play with Sydney, but she's all mine tonight," he said, looking back over at her with a wink. "And I know you're used to sleeping in my room, but not tonight, buddy."  
  
"You're kicking Donovan out of the room? You sound like you have some kind of plans, Vaughn," Sydney said innocently.   
  
"You have no idea," he said, shooting her the sexy grin that always made her knees go weak. "I'm gonna go get him situated in the den, and then I'll be back, okay?"  
  
"I'll be here," she smiled as she watched him leave the room with Donovan in tow. She almost felt sorry for the poor dog, but she definitely wanted to be the only one sharing Vaughn's bed tonight. She had just walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator when she felt a warm body press against her from behind and strong arms wrap themselves around her.   
  
"So where were we before my mother interrupted us?" he asked as he nuzzled her neck.  
  
"I think you were threatening to corrupt Jack Bristow's sweet, innocent daughter," she teased.  
  
"That's right," he smiled. "Man, I still can't believe that he knows about us. It's gonna take me a while to wrap my mind around that."  
  
"Well now *both* our parents know," she said as she turned around to face him. "I thought I was going to die when I saw your mom standing next to you. I can't even imagine what she must have been thinking. She probably thought I was a crazy person," she groaned.  
  
"You *are* a crazy person, Syd. Seriously though, she liked you, I could tell. She's been dying to know all about you."  
  
"Really? What have you told her?"  
  
"Not much, just that I was seeing someone. It's not that I didn't want to tell her everything about you," he explained, "it's just that I didn't think the two of you would meet anytime soon. But now that you're here . . ."  
  
"Yeah," Sydney said softly. "Well, I'm looking forward to getting to know her better."  
  
"You sure about that? I'm warning you now that she's going to ask you a ton of questions. I just want you to be prepared for the inquisition."  
  
"Oh, she's gonna be sizing me up, huh? Figuring out if I'm good enough for her precious Michael?"  
  
"Basically."  
  
"Well, I'm sure I can handle it. In fact, I'm looking forward to proving myself."  
  
"Really?" Vaughn asked, arching his eyebrow as he took the bottle of water from her hands, set it on the counter and pulled her into his arms. "I have a few things I want to prove also."  
  
"I already know all about your endurance and stamina, Vaughn" she grinned.   
  
He laughed as he lowered his head to kiss her neck. "I still can't believe that you're here with me," he murmured. "I knew that being away from you was going to be difficult, but the past month has been torture."  
  
"It's a hell of your own making," she teased, loving the deep, throaty laugh that it provoked from him.  
  
"Yeah, I guess it is. Are you still mad at me?" he asked as he nibbled on her earlobe.  
  
"Yes," she inhaled sharply as he trailed kisses from her ear to her jaw.  
  
"Maybe I could change that tonight . . ."  
  
"I don't think so. You have a lot to make up for, Vaughn. It's going to take longer than just one night," she murmured as she closed her eyes in ecstasy from the feel of his kisses on her neck.  
  
"I'm fully prepared for that. Are you?" he asked, drawing back from her slightly. When she opened her eyes to protest the loss of his lips from her neck, she saw his penetrating gaze fixed on her and remembered how much she had missed seeing that look of open lust and desire in his eyes.  
  
"Try me," she said challengingly. They stared at each other as the heat between them rose to an almost unbearable level and she pulled him back to her, slipping her hands underneath his sweater as she did so. She heard him suck in a breath as her fingers lightly brushed against his stomach.  
  
"Syd," he rasped as he grabbed her hands and pulled them from underneath his sweater. "I want you so much right now that I can't think straight, but I feel like we should talk or something. I haven't seen you in a month and I don't want it to seem like the only thing I care about is taking you up to bed."  
  
She looked at him incredulously. "Vaughn, please. We can talk later . . . or during . . . whatever. But now is *so* not the time for any deep conversations. Seriously, I don't want to talk, I just want to be with you," she said breathlessly as she pulled his head back down to hers and kissed him hard on the mouth, effectively putting an end to any further conversation.   
  
*****  
  
"So are you still mad at me?" Vaughn asked a while later after they had finally made it up to his bedroom.  
  
"Vaughn," she groaned, playfully, "I told you I'm going to be mad at you for a while."  
  
"I know that's what you said, but you don't seem very mad right now."   
  
"I'm just really good at hiding it," she smiled as she snuggled up next to him.   
  
"Well, if that's what it's like to make love to you when you're mad, I hope you stay mad at me forever. Seriously, I might spend all my free time thinking of new ways to piss you off," he grinned, as his hand found hers underneath the blanket and he gently ran his fingers across her knuckles.  
  
"Do I need to remind you that I can kick your ass?"  
  
"Hmmm, that might actually be fun. Could you wear leather when you do it?"  
  
"Michael, you're impossible," she half-laughed, half-groaned.  
  
"Did you just call me Michael again?" he asked, looking at her with mock surprise.  
  
"It slipped out."  
  
"It seemed to slip out a lot a little while ago. Funny how that happens," he teased.  
  
"That's not the only thing that slips out," she smirked. "Every time we make love, I feel like I'm in French class, except my French instructor never taught us *those* words. It's kind of funny how *that* happens, don't you think?"  
  
"I have no explanation for that," he blushed. "Seriously, that's never happened with any other woman. I don't know what it is about you that makes me do that, but I know that you like it," he said with a wicked smile.  
  
"I don't hate it," she grinned.   
  
"Good, because I'm obviously powerless to control it. Hey, I almost forgot . . . " he took a long look into her eyes before leaning over and giving her a slow, smoldering kiss. "Welcome to Virginia."  
  
"You really know how to roll out the red carpet for a girl, don't you? Do you greet all your visitors that way?"  
  
"The only other visitor I've had is Weiss, so that's a definite *no*."  
  
"Too bad for him," she laughed. Her expression grew serious and thoughtful as she looked at him. "Vaughn, I missed you so much. I couldn't even begin to tell you."  
  
"I know," he sighed. "I was crazy to leave you. I don't know how I fooled myself into believing that I could stand to be apart from you for so long."  
  
"I know what you were thinking, and I understand. I hate it, but I understand. I know you were just doing what you thought was best for both of us, and Sylvia's been great -- you were right about her. She told me that you call to check up on me."  
  
"Not so much to check up on you, just to make sure that you're okay. Mostly I just call to make sure that you're not driving her crazy," he smirked.  
  
"Figures," she laughed. "Admit it, Vaughn, that's what you miss about me the most, isn't it? You secretly loved it when I was being a pain in the ass."  
  
"Yeah, you're right. I miss everything about you, Syd, but especially that."  
  
"You know what I miss the most? Coming home to you. No matter how awful my missions were or how tired I was when I got back, I always felt better knowing that I'd walk in the warehouse or the ops center and you'd be there," she said softly.  
  
"And now I'm not. I'm really sorry for that," he said sincerely.  
  
"Don't be," she shook her head, surprised to realize that she actually meant it. "Besides, if you start acting all contrite, it's going to make it harder for me to stay mad at you, so just don't," she teased.  
  
"Gee, the last thing I'd ever want to do is make it easier for you to forgive me," he cracked. "So how's everyone back in L.A.?"  
  
"Good. Will and Francie are good, and my dad is fine. What's it been like here?"  
  
"Mostly just work, but I've been able to hang out with some of my old friends, which was cool. And of course, I've gotten to spend time with my mom, which has been nice. Maybe too nice, because now she keeps trying to convince me to transfer back to Langley."  
  
"You're not considering that, are you?" Sydney asked with concern.  
  
"No," Vaughn scoffed. "I mean, I love it here, I grew up here, but moving back is not an option unless . . ." he glanced at her quickly then shook his head. "It's just not an option."  
  
"Aw, your mom's gonna be disappointed. Speaking of your mom, I was surprised that she doesn't have more of a French accent."  
  
"Well, she's lived here in the states for more than thirty years," Vaughn shrugged. "She went to college and law school at Georgetown."  
  
"Really? I never knew that."  
  
"Yeah. She always knew she wanted to do some kind of foreign service or diplomacy work, so she thought it would be smart to go to school in Washington. Now she works for the French Trade Commission at the embassy here.  
  
"Wow. Sydney was impressed. She loved learning every new detail about Vaughn's life and his family. "So I know you told me that she and your dad fell in love in Paris, but how did they meet?"  
  
"*Ooh, that* story. I think I'll let her tell you at dinner tomorrow. She loves to tell that story," he laughed.  
  
"Okay, then I'm looking forward to it. Given how you turned out, I'm not surprised, but she seems like a really wonderful person."  
  
"She is," he nodded. "Up until a year and a half ago, she was the strongest, most amazing woman I had ever known, but someone bumped her down to second."  
  
"You're just saying that," she smiled.  
  
"No, I mean it," he said seriously as he turned to her and trailed a finger along the side of her face, down to her neck. "I've never met anyone like you, Sydney. Ever."  
  
"And I've never loved anyone like *you*," she said as she pressed him onto his back and kissed him deeply. She only had a week to make up for a whole month of missing him, and she wasn't going to waste a single moment of it.  
TBC . . . 


	15. Dinner and Secrets

Chapter 15: "Dinner and Secrets"  
"What are you smiling about?" Vaughn asked as he grabbed two bottles of water from the refrigerator and handed one to Sydney.  
  
She grinned happily as she peeled a few sweat-soaked strands of hair from the side of her face and tucked them behind her ear. "Today has been so nice and normal. It's just been perfect."  
  
It wasn't as if she had never spent a day alone with Vaughn before, but she had never felt as domesticated with him as she did today. She'd forgotten how much she loved waking up next to him until she had this morning, for the first time since Fiji. They lounged around in bed for the better part of the morning, talking and making love until they finally rose and went to a late breakfast. They spent the early part of the afternoon curled up on the couch together as she read a book and he watched a college basketball game, and then they decided to go for a jog with Donovan, from which they had just returned. Nothing about the day had been particularly special or remarkable which was exactly why it had felt so special and remarkable to her. It was as if she was getting a brief glimpse of what her every day life could be like in a few months, and she loved it. More than anything, she loved the man who was now leaning in for a quick kiss.  
  
"It's only been perfect because Donovan has been on his best behavior," Vaughn joked. "But don't let him fool you; he's just trying to reel you in."  
  
"I could say the same thing about you," she laughed. Her laugh turned into a squeal when he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and headed for the stairs.  
  
"Vaughn! Put me down," she giggled as they entered his bedroom.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I *said,* put me down."  
  
"If you say so," he shrugged as he dumped her on the bed and quickly covered her body with his, kicking off his running shoes as he kissed her deeply.   
  
"Do I need to remind you that I can kick your ass?" she smiled once she caught her breath.  
  
"Just the idea of that totally turns me on," he grinned.  
  
"I'll bet." She grabbed his wrists and flipped him onto his back then pinned his wrists to the bed and straddled him, feeling heat shoot straight to her center as she pressed against him. "That's a little more like it," she smirked before she leaned down and attacked his neck and throat with kisses. "How long do we have before dinner at your mother's?"  
  
"Two hours," Vaughn said after glancing at the alarm clock on the nightstand. "But we're all sweaty, so we have to shower."  
  
"We will . . . after we get a little sweatier," she grinned before she leaned down to kiss him again.  
  
*****  
  
"Okay, thanks for calling, Terry. If you find out anything else, just call me on my cell phone. Thanks, you too."  
  
Vaughn glanced at his watch and saw that it was 6:30 as he hung up the phone. "Syd," he called as he walked over to the stairs, "are you ready?"  
  
"Ugh!" came her frustrated reply. "No, I still need a few minutes."  
  
Vaughn smiled and shook his head, looking down at Donovan who looked back up at him with a nonchalant expression. "Women," he smirked. He bounded up the stairs and walked into his bedroom, his eyes widening as he saw all the clothes -- seemingly every item of clothing from Sydney's suitcase -- haphazardly scattered across the bed. He glanced questioningly at Sydney and she shot him a sheepish smile in return. "I know. Your room is a mess. I'll clean it up, don't worry."  
  
"I'm not worried about the room, Syd. I'm more concerned with your mental state," he smiled. "You look like you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown."  
  
"I think I am," she said with a short laugh as she stood in front of the full length mirror on the wall. She smoothed the short, black A-line dress she was wearing and frowned at her reflection, deciding that this outfit, too, was all wrong. She placed her hands on her hips and twisted her body around to study the clothes on the bed when Vaughn's eyes caught hers. He walked over to her, placing his hands on her hips and resting his chin on her right shoulder as he looked at their reflections in the mirror.   
  
"What's problem? You look amazing," he said softly.  
  
"You're just saying that," she sighed.  
  
"Yes, I'm saying it because you look amazing," he said as he swept her hair from her neck and planted a soft kiss there.  
  
She smiled despite herself and snaked her arm around his head to stroke his hair. Even though she didn't think she looked amazing, he made her feel amazing. "This dress is all wrong."  
  
"Not from where I'm standing," he grinned.  
  
"What do *you* know about women's clothes?" she teased.  
  
"Not much, just that you look good in them, and you look really good in that dress. So good that all I can think about right now is how much I want to take it off later."  
  
She turned around and looked into his eyes. "Well that settles it -- this is *definitely* the wrong outfit. I'm trying to make a good impression on your mom, Vaughn. I don't want to walk in her house wearing something that makes you think about sex."  
  
Vaughn made a face and looked back at her. "Sydney, I'm a man. I'm always thinking about sex, especially where you're concerned. You could wear a burlap sack or a suit of armor, and I'd still be thinking about getting you naked." She smiled in response to that. "Seriously, you look beautiful and classy, and you're gonna make a great impression on my mom. I think you should stick with this outfit for two reasons: first, I love the dress and second, if you change one more time, we're going to be late, so let's go," he urged as he took her hand and pulled her towards the door. She quickly grabbed a red button-up sweater from the pile on the bed as he dragged her out of the room.  
  
"Okay, I'm coming," she laughed. "You look really nice, by the way," she said, admiring his grey slacks and black button down shirt as they headed towards the garage.   
  
"Thanks. Believe it or not, it only took me two minutes to pick out *my* outfit," he smirked, earning a playful slap on the back in response.  
  
They were both quiet during the first few minutes of the short drive from McLean to Great Falls. At a stop light, Vaughn looked over at Sydney and saw her staring pensively out the window. He took her left hand and squeezed it gently. "You alright?" he asked, concern evident in his eyes.  
  
She turned and shot him a reassuring smile. "I'm fine. Just a little nervous, I guess."  
  
"Syd, there's no reason to be nervous. My mom already likes you, and it's just dinner. I was teasing you last night with all that inquisition stuff."  
  
"I know. I'm just being silly. Don't worry about me." The light turned green and Vaughn turned his attention back to the road as she turned to stare out the window again. In reality, she was more nervous than she let on to Vaughn. She had been on dozens of incredibly dangerous missions and none of them had ever made her as nervous as the simple prospect of dinner at Elise Vaughn's house. It was the first time she was going to get a glimpse of Vaughn's life outside of L.A. and the CIA, and she desperately hoped that she would fit in. Elise was a charming, friendly woman, but Sydney could tell that she was fiercely protective of Vaughn, and she wanted to be deemed worthy of him.  
  
She was lost in her thoughts as Vaughn turned into a long driveway leading up to a large, brick colonial-style house. "Wow, this house is beautiful," Sydney marveled as she and Vaughn got out of the car. "Is this the house you grew up in?"  
  
"Yep," he said, taking her hand as they walked up to the door. "My mom thought about selling it after my father died, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She loves this house."  
  
"I can see why," Sydney murmured. The house was set back from the road and surrounded by trees in a quiet neighborhood. It was peaceful and suburban and she could almost picture Vaughn playing in the front yard as a boy.  
  
Elise opened the door and beamed at her guests. "You're here! Come in, come in," she said, ushering them inside. She kissed Vaughn on the cheek and gave Sydney a warm hug. "Hi Sydney, I'm so thrilled you're here."  
  
"So am I, Elise. Thanks so much for having me." Her nerves were quickly forgotten as Elise made her feel completely at ease. "Something smells incredible."  
  
"My mom is the best cook," Vaughn smiled as he hung his and Sydney's jackets in the closet in the foyer.  
  
"You'd never know it seeing how skinny this one is," Elise cracked, nodding at Vaughn. "But then again, he's been living across the country without the benefit of my cooking. I have something on the stove, so Michael, why don't you show Sydney the house?" Sydney nodded enthusiastically and smiled at Vaughn.  
  
Ten minutes later, Vaughn led Sydney into the last upstairs bedroom. She smiled instantly when she saw that the shelves on the wall were lined with trophies and awards. "This was your room, wasn't it?"  
  
"Yeah. It still is when I come to visit," he said as he walked over and joined her in front of the shelves. She picked up one of his hockey trophies and grinned.  
  
"MVP, huh?"  
  
"That was from little league," he laughed as he took the trophy from her and set it back on the shelf. "I was ten, so it wasn't a big deal."  
  
"Oh, whatever, Vaughn. I know you played in college, so you were obviously good. Why do you always have to be so modest?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around his waist. "Don't you know how incredible you are? It's okay to acknowledge that sometimes. It won't make you a conceited jerk."  
  
"My mom always used to lecture me on the importance of being humble," he smiled, "so I was never much for celebrating my accomplishments."  
  
"Speaking of . . ." Sydney said with a devilish grin as she moved over to the bed and pretended to examine the headboard.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Looking for notches," she laughed, "but I don't see any. Did you sand over them?"  
  
He looked at her innocently. "You think I brought girls up here? I would never do anything like that."  
  
"Right, Vaughn. Do I look like I was born yesterday?"  
  
He walked over to where she stood and sat down on the bed, pulling her hand until she was sitting in his lap. "Seriously, there weren't that many girls -- not in here, anyway. The basement was the make-out room," he grinned.  
  
"The basement!" she giggled. "I should have known. So how many girls got to see the Vaughn basement?"  
  
"I don't know, it's not like I kept count. Besides, high school was so long ago that I don't remember any of those girls. I don't remember anyone before you," he said, dropping his voice to the low, sexy tone that always made her heart race. She was just about to tell him he was full of crap when he leaned in and gave her a searing kiss that made her forget about everyone before *him*. She moved her hand to his face and softly stroked his cheek as she kissed him back and lost herself in the feel of his tongue probing her mouth. He gently flipped her onto her back and hovered over her for a moment before diving back down to claim her lips again. She pulled him closer for a moment before she shoved him aside and sat up.  
  
"What?" he asked, drawing himself up on his elbow and looking at her quizzically.  
  
"Vaughn, we can't do this here. We're in your mother's house!" she said with a loud whisper. "I'm supposed to be making a good impression, remember? What would your mom say if she knew we were making out up here?"  
  
"Way to go, guys?" He laughed but forced himself to stop when she shot him a "be serious" look. "You're right, I was getting carried away. You have that effect on me, you know." He stood and pulled her onto her feet, giving her a chaste kiss on the lips before he took her hand and led her back downstairs. "It wouldn't be the first time my mom ever caught me making out with a girl," he cracked. "That's why I switched to the basement."  
  
She laughed and shook her head as he led her into the kitchen. "Vaughn, you're horrible."  
  
"It didn't take you long to figure that out, did it?" Elise laughed as she overheard them.   
  
"Hey!" Vaughn said with mock indignation. "The two of you have a whole evening to gang up on me, so pace yourselves, okay?"  
  
"Aw, we'll try," Sydney said as she rubbed his lower back. "Elise, you have a gorgeous home."  
  
"Thank you. I've thought so many times about selling it, because it's much too big for one person, but I just can't bring myself to let go of it. I have all these memories of Michael growing up here, and I still have the hope that one day the house will be filled with grandchildren running around," she said giving Vaughn a pointed look, which he pretended to ignore.  
  
"You owe me a kiss for every time my mother mentions the word 'grandchildren' tonight," he whispered to Sydney.  
  
"Deal," Sydney smiled, already trying to think of ways to make Elise talk about grandchildren all night long.  
  
Just then Vaughn's cellphone rang and he sighed as he looked at the caller ID. "It's work, I have to take this," he said apologetically. Sydney nodded as he left the room and walked into the living room.   
  
"Elise, is there anything I can do to help?"  
  
"Heavens no," she scoffed. "You're a guest tonight, so the only thing you can do is enjoy yourself. Besides, you may not be a guest much longer, so you should enjoy this while you can."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I just have a feeling that this won't be the last time you're here, so I'll wait until the next time before I put you to work. Once you're family, you *have* to help, whether you like it or not," Elise laughed. "I'm sorry, I hope I'm not getting ahead of myself. Michael would die if he heard me talking this way," she said with a conspiratorial whisper. "But I have a feeling that you're going to be around for a very long time, Sydney. It's obvious that my son adores you. I've never seen him this way about anyone before."  
  
"Really?" Sydney asked, trying not to appear as deliriously happy as she was to hear that.  
  
"Michael's had several girlfriends, but he's only been serious about a couple of them, and even then, I don't think he was ever in love. But just seeing the way that he looks at you . . . I'm almost embarrassed to be in the same room. I feel I'm intruding, almost."  
  
"Oh no, never!" Sydney said with a frown. "Please don't feel that way."  
  
"No, I just meant that the looks that pass between the two of you are so intimate, like the two of you have a secret that's meant only for you. It's wonderful to watch. I always dreamed that Michael would find someone who cared about him as much as you obviously do."  
  
"I think your son is the most amazing person I've ever known. He's indescribable. Meeting him was the best thing that ever happened to me, even though it took a while to realize it. If I hadn't met him when I did . . . I can't imagine what the last two years of my life would have been like."  
  
Elise studied at Sydney closely, noticing the sadness in her eyes. Though she was young and beautiful, she looked as if she had experienced a lifetime's worth of pain and heartbreak, and the pained expression on her face looked all too familiar.  
  
"How did you and Michael meet exactly?" she asked gently, wanting to know more about Sydney, but not wanting to pry.  
  
Sydney laughed softly and shook her head. "One day I just walked right into the CIA headquarters, and they put me in a conference room and Michael walked in. A little while later, we were in his office and I was convinced he was trying to trip me up, find the flaws in my story and send me to jail," she laughed. "He wasn't, of course, but I wouldn't have blamed him if he had. I was sitting in his office with Kool Aid red hair and a swollen mouth. As far as first impressions go, it wasn't a great one."  
  
"So it wasn't love at first sight for the two of you, I take it?"  
  
"Oh god, the way I looked that day? I doubt it. It wasn't for me, anyway. I lost my fiance a few months before that, so I was in my own world at that point."  
  
"Oh, Sydney, I'm so sorry. I had not idea," Elise said, bringing a hand to her chest. "That must have been just awful for you."  
  
"It was, in more ways than one. Danny -- that was my fiance's name -- was murdered a few days after he proposed, and the circumstances behind his death were what led me to become a double agent. So in a way, his death was what led me to the CIA and ultimately to Michael. It took some time to come to terms with that."  
  
"I understand. A few minutes ago, I saw this look come over your face, and I recognized it well, because it was the same look that I saw staring back in the mirror for the first few years after William died."  
  
Sydney gave Elise a sympathetic smile. "I can't begin to imagine how hard that was. I mean, Danny and I had just reached the point where we were ready to spend our lives together, but you and your husband already had a life. I can't imagine what it was like to have that ripped apart. It seems like it would be so much worse to lose the person you love once you've already known what it's like to be with them all the time."  
  
"It was very difficult," Elise acknowledged, "but on the other hand, I had eleven years with him and those were the best eleven years of my life. And once he was gone, I had a constant reminder of all the best parts of him whenever I looked at Michael. There were so many days that I wanted to just lay in bed and cry, but then I'd think about William and I knew that he'd want me to carry on so I could give Michael the life we always wanted to give him. That's what got me through my grief."  
  
Sydney nodded and looked down at the countertop. She could feel tears forming in her eyes when she thought of the grief that both Vaughn and Elise had experienced because of her mother. It was all so horribly unfair, and she felt an enormous sense of guilt about the fact that Elise was being so wonderful to her when she was more deserving of her scorn and animosity. Not to even mention Vaughn . . . There were times when Sydney simply couldn't understand how he could love her as much as he did, knowing what her mother had done to his father. How could he not see her mother every time he looked at her, she wondered. How could he even contemplate having children with her, children who would carry the genes of both a loving, honorable man, and a deceitful, murderous woman? It was easy for her to forget the horrible intersection of the Vaughns and the Bristows when she and Vaughn were briefing each other or goofing around, but now as she stood in the house of a man who didn't deserve to die at her mother's hands, it was impossible for her to ignore the cold reality of her mother's actions.  
  
"Hey, sorry that took so long. One of our analysts needed some information," Vaughn explained as he breezed back into the kitchen, smiling at the two women who meant the world to him. "Did I miss anything?"  
  
Sydney gave him a tight smile and shook her head.  
  
"Sydney and I were just getting to know each other better, that's all," Elise smiled.   
  
*****  
  
" . . . so I open the door to the bathroom, and when I looked in the tub, there were Michael and Charlie covered in mud, playing with the frogs. It was disgusting, and I hate frogs!" Elise laughed. "And of course, William was out of the country, so I couldn't wait for him to get rid of the frogs. It was a nightmare."  
  
Sydney held her stomach from laughing so hard at the thought of four-year old Vaughn playing with frogs in the bathtub. She looked across the table at him as he tried to choke back his own laughter. For the past two hours, Elise had regaled her with stories about Vaughn's misadventures as a boy and a teenager. She never would have guessed that responsible, sensitive Vaughn was such a mischievous child.  
  
"So I'm telling you now, Sydney, you'd better think twice about whether you want a future with this man. God help him if he has a son who's as much of little devil as he was."  
  
"I was not that bad," Vaughn protested. "I was well-behaved as a child."  
  
"You were well-behaved *in public,* dear," Elise corrected. "At home, you were another story. If you hadn't been so cute, you would have been punished much more often than you were. I suppose you came by it honestly, though. Your father was such a trouble-maker and a joker."  
  
"He was," Vaughn smiled as he looked at Sydney. "My dad used to love to tease my mom and play practical jokes on her. I can't even remember how many times we conspired against her. One time, my dad borrowed a sling from the medical services unit at work, and he made me wear it on my arm. So when my mom came home, she saw me in the sling and freaked out, and my dad told her that I had fallen out of a tree and dislocated my shoulder," he laughed. "I think my mom was angry at him for a week after he pulled that stunt."   
  
"I don't blame her," Sydney said, shaking her head. "I can't believe the two of you let her think that you had been hurt."  
  
"Exactly! Luckily, Michael is not the practical joker that his father was."  
  
"I think Eric would disagree," Vaughn smiled. "Anyway, I think we've heard enough stories about me for one night."  
  
"You're right, sweetheart. I guess I'll save the really sordid stories about you for another time."  
  
"Sordid stories about Michael? I'm going to hold you to that promise, Elise," Sydney smiled. "Speaking of stories, I wanted to hear the story of how you and William fell in love. I asked Michael about it last night, but he said he'd let you tell me."  
  
"Well, it doesn't take much arm-twisting to get me to tell *that* story," she smiled. "After I graduated from law school at Georgetown, I wanted to stay here and work at the French Embassy, but I ended up moving to Paris because I was engaged, and my fiance wanted me to be with him."  
  
"You we're engaged to someone else?" Sydney asked, wide-eyed.   
  
"Yes. When I was in college, my sister moved from Fleury to Paris, and I spent a summer with her. While I was there, I met a young man named Philippe who was from a very wealthy family that was descended from French aristocracy. He was handsome and charming, and he spent the whole summer trying to woo me, and a few weeks before I left to go back to school, I finally gave in and we started dating. We dated for about three years, and he asked me to marry him during my last year of law school. I thought I was in love with him, so I said yes, and when I graduated I moved to Paris, which I should have known was a bad idea. Philippe's family was very traditional and thought that a woman, especially an upper-class woman, should stay at home rather than work, which I *completely* disagreed with. In fact, I almost thought about breaking the engagement as soon as his father sat me down and told me that."  
  
"Why didn't you?"  
  
"My father convinced me not to, which was ironic considering that he raised me and my sisters to be very independent and self-sufficient. But I think he was enamored with the idea of one of his daughters marrying into such a wealthy, and he thought it would be good for business. Anyway, one evening Philippe and I went to a formal party at the American Embassy and I was standing off by myself when a gorgeous American man asked me if I wanted to dance. I was so enthralled by him that I said yes, even though Philippe was just across the room. I think all it took was one dance for me to fall in love with him," she smiled wistfully. "I broke my engagement to Philippe the next day."  
  
"Oh my god, you didn't," Sydney gasped, causing Elise to laugh.  
  
"I did. Of course, I had no way of knowing that William and I would become involved. I wasn't even sure at that point if we would see each other again. But I knew that Philippe had never made me feel as nervous and excited as I did during that one dance with William, and I just couldn't marry him. So I broke off the engagement and he and his family and my father were all *furious,* but I didn't care. I spent the next week loitering in front of the American Embassy hoping that I would see William again, but as I found out later, he had been sent on a mission to Germany, so I never did end up seeing him. Then one day about four months later, I was sitting at a cafe having coffee, and when I looked up, he was seated at a table a few feet away. He came over and joined me, and the rest was history. About three months later, he asked me to marry him and I said yes."  
  
"That's unbelievable," Sydney smiled. "It must have been fate."  
  
"I think so," Elise smiled. "The whole thing was like a fantasy until I took him home to meet my parents. Then it became a nightmare. My mom thought he was wonderful, but my dad couldn't believe that I dumped Philippe for an American. An American who worked for the *government,* no less! He was appalled, and he told me that I would disgrace the family if I married William. I was devastated , but I was so in love that nothing could have stopped me. Thankfully, William's family could not have been more wonderful. We went to visit them in Pennsylvania right after we got married, and they made me feel like I had been part of the family forever. I hope you get to meet all of them one day soon, because you'll love them."  
  
"I'm looking forward to that too," Vaughn smiled.  
  
Sydney smiled back at him, then turned back to Elise. "So did you and your father ever reconcile?"  
  
"Oh, of course. My father pretended to be very gruff, but the truth was that he was a big softy. He was angry about my decision for a while and he refused to get to know William, but everything changed when Michael was born. He was my parents' first grandchild, and my father fell in love with him the minute he was born. He told me that any man who could produce such a fine baby couldn't be all bad, so from then on, he was very kind to William. I think he always felt guilty about the fact that he had never really given him a chance, so he spent the next few years trying to make it up to him. In fact, he paid the down payment on this house, although I had to twist William's arm to get him to accept that gift," she laughed.  
  
"Is your father still alive?"  
  
"No, he died about three years ago, but he was a real character. If you think I have stories about Michael, I could tell you some about my father that would make you cry. He was a good man, though, despite all his faults."  
  
"Well one day you'll have to tell me all of those stories too. I love hearing about Michael's family."  
  
"Do you come from a big family?"  
  
"No. I'm an only child, and my father was too," Sydney's voice broke off as she looked down at the table cloth, "and I don't know my mother's family at all."  
  
Elise could see the change in Sydney's body language and could tell that she was uncomfortable discussing her own family. When she looked at Michael and he shook his head almost imperceptibly, she got the message and decided to drop the topic.  
  
*****  
  
An hour later, Vaughn closed the front door and unhooked Donovan's leash after their walk. He headed up the stairs to his bedroom, surprised to find that the mountain of clothes on his bed had already been refolded and neatly placed back in Sydney's suitcase. He smiled as he remembered how desperate Sydney had been to impress his mom. It was obvious that the two of them had gotten along famously, just as he had expected. He heard water running in the bathroom and he quickly undressed, deciding that if Sydney wanted to take one of her baths, he was going to join her. He made his way over to the bathroom door, and was just about to knock when he heard the muffled sound of crying coming from inside. His heart pounded with fear that something was wrong, and he turned the handle on the door only to find that it was locked.  
  
"Sydney," he called, hoping that his voice didn't sound as panicked as he felt. "Are you okay?" The seconds went by agonizingly slow as he waited for a response.  
  
In the bathroom, Sydney stiffened when she heard Vaughn's voice. She prayed that he hadn't been able to hear her crying; that was why she had turned on the faucet in the bathtub.   
  
"I'm fine," she said quickly.  
  
"You don't sound fine. Can I come in?"  
  
"Vaughn, I'm okay. I just need --"  
  
"Sydney, will you please let me come in?" he pleaded. "I'm worried about you."  
  
The obvious concern in his voice was more than Sydney could bear and she scrambled up from the bathroom floor and moved to unlock the door, quickly turning back around and brushing the tears from her eyes as Vaughn entered the bathroom. He noticed that she was fully dressed, and that water was running but the drain in the tub was open. He reached around her waist and turned her to face him. His heart caught in his throat when he saw her puffy red eyes.  
  
"Syd, what's wrong?" he asked as he enveloped her in a comforting hug and stroked her hair. He couldn't imagine why she would be upset after they had had such a good time at his mother's house.  
  
"Nothing, I'm okay," she sniffled.   
  
"Syd," he said raising her head from his shoulder and holding her face in front of him, "You're obviously not okay. You were crying about something and I want to know what it is. Tell me so I can make it better."  
  
She raised her hand and lovingly stroked his face. "You always want to make things better for me," she said softly.   
  
"Yeah, I do. I can't stand to see you in pain."  
  
She stared up at him, feeling so lucky and undeserving at the same time. "Vaughn, do I look like my mother?"  
  
"What?" he asked as her question caught him by complete surprise.  
  
"Do I look like my mother? Because I think I look just like her."  
  
"Yes, you look a lot like her," he said softly, "but --"  
  
"Then how can you look at me without feeling sick?" she asked in an anguished voice. "How can you think I'm beautiful? How can you love me knowing that I look like the woman who killed your father?"  
  
"This is about your mother? Sydney, I told you once that I don't blame you for what she did to my family."  
  
"I know, but that was back when we both thought she was dead. Now that she's in custody, now that you've seen her, how can you possibly look at me and not hate what you see?"  
  
"Easily. When I look at you, I don't see her. I never have and I never will, Sydney. You know what the biggest physical difference between the two of you is? Her eyes are cold and harsh, sometimes they almost look dead. I mean, you can look into them and see her mind working, but there's no emotion there. But *your* eyes are warm, and expressive. Whenever I want to know how you're feeling -- not what you're pretending to feel, but what you're really feeling -- all I have to do is look into your eyes, and I can tell. That's why, no matter how much you and your mother look alike, I will *never* see her when I look at you. Why are you even thinking about her right now?"  
  
"Because I just came from dinner at your mother's house, the house you grew up in, the house that you lived in when the CIA sent officers to tell you that your father was never coming home because of *her,* because of my mother. And I was in that house tonight, and your mother was being so incredibly kind to me, almost treating me like I was the daughter she never had, and I felt like such a fraud. If your mom knew the truth about who I was . . . she deserves to know, Vaughn," she said looking straight at him.   
  
"She needs to know that I'm the daughter of her husband's murderer. We need to tell her, because I don't think we can have a real future together until we do."  
TBC . . . 


	16. Forgiveness and Understanding

Vaughn looked at Sydney in disbelief as her words echoed in his mind. *We need to tell her, because I don't think we can have a real future together until we do.*   
  
"What do you mean we can't have a future until we tell my mother?"  
  
Sydney tore her eyes away from his and looked down at the bathroom floor. "Vaughn, neither of us has been shy about admitting that we want to spend the rest of our lives together. We're both in this for the long haul, right?" she asked looking back up at him.  
  
"Of course." At least he had thought so until a minute ago. Now he wasn't so sure.  
  
"Well, the first few times I let myself think about being with you *forever,* it was just a nice fantasy, something that I didn't think would be possible until years from now. But now, it doesn't seem so far away anymore; in three months, SD-6 won't exist and we won't have to hide our relationship, and we can actually start building a life together."  
  
"Those are good things, right?" Vaughn asked, wondering where she was taking this conversation.  
  
"Yes, of course they are." She shook her head, frustrated that she wasn't expressing herself clearly. Vaughn was looking at her with an uncertain expression that was tearing her heart out. "It's just that for the last two years, and especially in the last few months, I've been telling myself that my life would be perfect once SD-6 was gone. But now that its demise looks like a certainty rather than a possibility, I'm already thinking ahead, trying to brace myself for the next horrible event that might take place in my life, and losing you is at the top of that list. *That's* why I'm afraid of waiting to tell your mom about me. I'm afraid of letting myself get my hopes up with you only to have them come crashing back down to earth if your mother can't handle the thought of you being with me."  
  
"Why would you be afraid of that?" Vaughn asked, taking Sydney's hand in his and holding it up to his chest. "Do you really think that I would leave you if my mom didn't want us to be together?"  
  
"Are you saying that you wouldn't?" Sydney asked with a raised eyebrow. "Vaughn, admittedly I haven't spent that much time with you and your mom, but all it took was five minutes of watching you together to see how close the two of you are. You have the kind of relationship with her that I always dreamed of having with my parents. It's so obvious that you're the most important person in her life and that she loves you more than anything, and it's equally obvious that you would never want to make her unhappy. So I don't think it's crazy of me to think that if you had to choose between her or me, you would choose her."  
  
"That *is* crazy, Syd," Vaughn corrected her. "You're right, my mom and I are incredibly close, but if I ever had to make a choice . . ." he sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. "That would never happen. My mom would never force me to make a choice like that," he said softly.  
  
"She might," Sydney said in an equally quiet voice. "Vaughn, I wouldn't blame her at all if she couldn't get past who my mother is and what she did to your family. It would be asking a lot of her to look past all of that and welcome me into your family with open arms. If she gave you an ultimatum, can you honestly say that you would choose me?"  
  
"Yeah, I could," he nodded. "Why are you so shocked by that? Syd, it would hurt like hell not to have the same kind of relationship with my mother, but if she ever gave me an ultimatum like that, there would be no other choice. I would choose you in a heartbeat. I love my mother, and I've spent most of my life trying to make her proud, but I can't live my life for her. I tried that once when I went to law school instead of joining the CIA and I was miserable. And what she and I both learned from that experience was that I had to be my own person and make my own decisions. I couldn't just take the path that she wanted me to, and as it turned out, the path that I eventually chose was the one that led me to you, so I trust my instincts," he smiled.  
  
Sydney looked at her hand intertwined with his and wondered how he always managed to say the perfect thing to her no matter what she was afraid of or upset about. It was just another of the many reasons she knew that she would die inside if she ever lost him. Still, she would almost rather live without him than force him to sacrifice everything in his life to be with her, even though she knew she would gladly sacrifice everything for him.  
  
"Vaughn, I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I came between you and your mother. I couldn't live with the guilt of that."  
  
"You'll never have to." Vaughn sighed and brushed a kiss across her palm. "Syd, you could never come between me and my mom. Remember tonight when she was telling you the story of how she and my dad met?" She nodded. "Well my grandfather made my mom choose between him and my dad, and she chose my father because she loved him so much. But my dad didn't come between them; my *grandfather* did, because he was the one who cut her off from his life simply because she followed her heart. Eventually, he realized that he was wrong to have forced her to make that choice, but having gone through that herself, my mother would *never* do that to me."  
  
"Vaughn, that was different," she said as she stepped closer to him. "Your grandfather didn't have a good reason for not wanting your mother to be with your father, but your mother has every reason in the world not to want you to be with me."  
  
"No, she has every reason in the world to *want* me to be with you, Sydney. She sees how happy you make me, and ever since my father died, that's all she's ever cared about. She would never ask me to deny myself the one thing that makes me happier than anything else."  
  
Sydney desperately wanted to believe that he was right. She prayed that Elise had seen how much in love she was with Vaughn and that she wouldn't hate her once she learned the truth about the history between their families. The pessimist in her, however, couldn't help but fear that Elise wouldn't want anything to do with her.  
  
Her thoughts were broken when she heard Vaughn laugh. "Why are we having this conversation in the bathroom?"  
  
She also laughed at the realization that they were having one of the most important conversations they'd ever had standing next to the toilet. She followed him as he led her back into the bedroom. He sat at the foot of the bed, but instead of sitting next to him, she climbed on the bed and knelt behind him. She moved her hands to his shoulders and let her fingers gently knead his flesh. She stopped for a second to place a soft kiss on his collarbone.  
  
"You seem tense," she explained. "I think that's my fault." He started to protest that it wasn't but he moaned instead as her fingers expertly loosened the tightness in his neck and shoulders.  
  
"What would your father think about this?" Sydney asked after a few minutes.  
  
"About you giving me a massage? He'd be all for it," Vaughn cracked. "No, seriously, he would love you."  
  
"I don't mean how would he feel about *me,*" she shook her head. "I mean, how would he feel about you being in love with the daughter of the woman who killed him? Do you ever feel like you're betraying him by being with me?"  
  
"Sydney, no," he said firmly. "I'm not betraying him by loving you. *You* weren't the one who killed him."  
  
"I know," she sighed. She concentrated on massaging him before speaking again. "How come you never talk to me about him?"  
  
"I've told you things about him," Vaughn said weakly. She bent her head forward and shot him a look and he sighed, realizing that she was right. "I guess I don't talk to you about him for the same reason that you don't really talk to me about your mother."  
  
"What do you mean by that?"  
  
"Sydney, I know that you hold back from me where she's concerned. You think that you can't talk to me about her because it'll upset me, or because it will dredge up all kinds of emotions that I try to keep hidden from you, and I never talk to you about my father because I'm afraid that it will make you feel guilty, even though you shouldn't."  
  
"So basically, neither of us will be open or honest with each other because we're to busy trying to protect each other's feelings?" she asked with wry amusement.  
  
"Basically."   
  
"We have issues, Vaughn," she laughed. "I think our issues have issues." He turned his head and smiled at her.  
  
"I think that goes without saying."  
  
"The thing is, we're gonna have to learn how to deal with those issues together, or at least figure out a way to make sure that we don't end up resenting each other because of them."  
  
"I know," he sighed. "It's just that I've never been the kind of person to talk about my feelings or share them with other people. I've always just dealt with them on my own."  
  
"I understand. I'm not trying to force you to tell me how you feel all the time; I know by now that that's not who you are," she smiled. "I just want you to know that when you do want to talk about your feelings -- *if* you ever want to talk about them -- you can. You don't have to protect me from the truth."  
  
"You don't have to protect me either," he said pointedly.  
  
"I know," she sighed. "Easier said than done, right?"  
  
"Yeah. Especially since I don't even know how I feel about your mother. It's not something I've let myself think about a lot. I've perfected the art of avoidance," he admitted. "Mostly because if I let myself really think about her, I'd have to admit that part of me hates her for what she did to my family, and the other part of me is actually grateful to her for making one half of the most incredible person I've ever met."  
  
"Vaughn -- "  
  
"No, it's true, Sydney. You wouldn't be the person that you are if it weren't for her. You're *not* her, but it's obvious that the two of you are similar in some ways. You're both smart and complex . . . and beautiful," he said quietly. "Sometimes I'm not sure whether to hate her or admire her, and it was a lot easier to hate her when she was a faceless villain. That's why I almost wish that she hadn't turned herself in." He took a deep breath before he pushed on with his thoughts.  
  
"You probably don't realize it, but I understand why you want to get to know her, why you need to. If my father walked through the door tomorrow, even if I found out that he'd been alive all this time but never came back because he started a new life and had a new family, even if he had killed *twenty* other agents, I would still want the chance to get to know him. As much as I loved him, I know that I never really knew him. I mean, I knew him as much as an eight year-old can know his father, but when you're eight, you think your parents are perfect and infallible. I guess that's why he's always been this idealized, god-like figure to me. I never got the chance to see him as a person, an actual, human, flawed individual. That's why I'd want to get to know him even if he had spent the last twenty-six years doing awful, unimaginable things. I *do* understand, Syd," he repeated.  
  
"But you don't like it," she said as she ran a soothing hand through his hair. She knew that it wasn't easy for him to open up to her like this and she was touched that he was making the effort.  
  
"It's not that I don't like it," he said quietly, "it just scares me, that's all."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because . . . you and I have been through so much -- learning to trust each other, fearing for each others' lives, coming to terms with our feelings -- and through all of that, we forged this bond that's unlike any connection I've ever felt with another person. It's so strong that I don't think anything could ever come between us, except maybe your mother."  
  
"What makes you think that? She's encouraged our relationship every step of the way, for reasons that I admittedly don't understand. But she sent us to Fiji together and she tried to get you to be honest about your feelings for me, and she told me not to let anyone stand in the way of being with you. After all of that I don't think she would ever try to come between us." she said reassuringly.  
  
"I didn't necessarily mean that she'd *try* to, although that's not out of the question. I know you want to believe that her intentions are good; I want to believe that too, Syd," he said when he noticed her small frown. "But, we can't ignore the possibility that maybe she pushed us together for some ulterior motive, for some grand scheme that she has. And even if she didn't, even if she only encouraged us because she genuinely wants you to be happy . . ." his voice trailed off and he took a deep breath.   
  
"You spent twenty years idolizing her, the same way I did with my father, and now that she's back in your life, now that you're connecting with her . . . I guess I have the same fears that you do, that if it came down to a choice between me or your mother, you might pick her."  
  
His words were soft, but they hit Sydney with the force of a Mack truck. She couldn't believe that Vaughn was insecure about her love for him, though she'd had the same insecurities a short while earlier. She suddenly realized that for once in their relationship, he needed to be reassured as much as she did.   
  
"Vaughn, how could you ever think that I would choose her over you?" she asked disbelievingly. "That I would ever choose *anyone* over you?"  
  
"She's your mother, Sydney," he said, looking down at his hands in his lap.  
  
"Yeah, but you're . . . you're *everything,* Vaughn," she said when she realized that she couldn't put into words all the things that he was to her. "You're the only person in my entire life that I've ever trusted completely and you're the only person who knows everything about me, who sees every flaw, and loves me anyway. I can't even tell you what you mean to me.  
  
"And as for my mother," she sighed. "I may have idolized her once, but I know now that she's not the person that I thought she was. She never will be, even if she spends the rest of her life making up for all the things she's done. She could never be all the things to me that you are, and I'm never going to need her the way that I need you, no matter how close I get to her."  
  
When Vaughn turned to look at her, he was struck by the sincere expression her face. He knew that she meant every word she'd said, and even though it wasn't enough to completely quell his fears, it strengthened his resolve not to let anyone or anything come between them, not even their parents. For the first time, he truly realized that he would sacrifice everything in his life to be with her, and the depth of his love for her overwhelmed him. He shifted his body and placed his hands on her face.  
  
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, do you know that?" he asked, his voice choked with emotion.  
  
Sydney looked back at him in awe, feeling herself getting lost in his beautiful eyes. She couldn't believe he was saying those words to her when she should be saying them to him. She often felt guilty for making Vaughn's life so much more complicated than it was before he met her, and she knew that she'd never understand how he could feel the way he did about her, but she believed him. She believed him with every fiber of her being, because every action, every word, every look from him revealed the truth of his love for her.   
  
"You stole my line," she smiled as she moved to straddle his lap. She placed his hands on her hips, and ran her own hand through his hair. "I love you so much, Vaughn. That's why I'm willing to risk your mother's scorn when I tell her the truth," she laughed, trying to hide her fear that she was doing exactly that.   
  
"Syd, are you sure that you want to be the one to tell her?" he asked with concern as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. "It's incredibly brave of you, but you don't have to."  
  
"I want to," she said firmly. "I *need* to. And it's no more brave than when you went to see my mother that first time."  
  
"I was scared as hell when I did that," he admitted. "I'm sure you must be feeling the same way."  
  
"Well, I can't say that I'm looking forward it, but it's something I have to do."  
  
"I understand," he said, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "Just know that when it's over, I'm still going to be here, no matter what happens. Don't even think about trying to push me away out of guilt, because I won't let you," he said firmly.  
  
"Then I won't try," she agreed, before she captured his lips with hers and kissed him with all the emotion she felt inside of her.  
  
Shortly afterwards, they fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms, feeling closer than they ever had, secure in the knowledge that nothing, not even their shared tragic past, could come between them.  
  
*****  
  
"Mrs. Vaughn will be right with you, Ms. Bristow. She said to tell you to make yourself comfortable."  
  
"Thank you," Sydney smiled at Elise's assistant before she left the room. She glanced around her office, taking in the tastefully elegant French furniture and muted blue, white, and red color scheme. She had a feeling that most of the offices in the embassy were similarly decorated, but Elise's office was filled with personal mementos and artwork that gave it a warm, inviting feeling. She was immediately drawn to the bookshelves on the near wall of the room, which were lined with books and picture frames. There were a few pictures of Elise with friends, with two women who looked just like her and appeared to be her sisters, and with an older couple that Sydney assumed were her parents. The rest of the pictures were of Vaughn -- one of him as a chubby baby, grasping Elise's blouse with a tiny fist as she grinned back at him; one of a young, snaggletoothed Vaughn in a hockey uniform, clutching a trophy with a proud smile on his face; a triple frame with pictures of Vaughn and Elise at his high school, college, and law school graduations. Yet another picture showed Elise, Vaughn, and William sitting on a hillside with a vineyard spread out behind them, Vaughn sitting between his parents as they all smiled for the camera. Sydney picked up the picture next to that one and smiled instantly. Vaughn wore an intense look of concentration on his face as he tried to balance on ice skates and William stood behind him, holding his young son's hands above his head.  
  
"Michael was four when that picture was taken," Elise said as she walked into her office with a smile. "That was the first time William taught him how to skate. He had no idea then that he was creating a monster. If I had a dime for every time I had to drag Michael off the ice as he got older, I'd be a very wealthy woman right now," she laughed. "How are you, Sydney?" she asked as she gave her a hug.  
  
"I'm well, thank you," she said as she turned and placed the frame back on the bookshelf. When she turned back, she noticed for the first time that there was a more recent picture of Elise and Vaughn sitting on her desk. Next to that picture was a beautiful antique silver frame holding a picture of Elise and William on their wedding day. She felt a stab of pain as she looked at their smiling faces and wiped her sweaty palms on her pants. She could almost feel the courage draining from her body as she found herself surrounded by the evidence of how happy the Vaughns had been before William's death.  
  
"I was so surprised when you said you wanted to come by today. The embassy is not terribly exciting, as I'm sure you've seen by now," she said with a light chuckle. Sydney opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, they were interrupted by Elise's assistant, who entered the office with a tray loaded with a teapot and various pastries. "Thank you, Celine," Elise called out as the young woman exited the office once again.  
  
"Oh, Elise, you didn't have to go to this kind of trouble," Sydney protested.  
  
"Oh, it was nothing. I'm just being a good hostess," she smiled. "Come, sit," she said as she gestured to the couch and chairs on the opposite side of the room. She perched gracefully on one of the chairs and Sydney took a seat opposite her on the couch. Elise reached down to the coffee table between them and poured two cups of tea, handing one to Sydney, who nervously twirled her spoon inside her cup, grateful for an excuse to stop fidgeting.   
  
"What did you and Michael do yesterday?"  
  
"We went ice skating, actually," Sydney said with a small laugh.  
  
"I should have known," Elise said with a wry laugh. "So what brings you here? Michael hasn't done anything idiotic, has he?"  
  
Sydney shook her head. "No, nothing like that. I just, um, I needed to talk to you. Ever since I got here, you've been so nice to me, and I can't tell you how much I've appreciated that, especially considering that Michael and I kept our relationship a secret from you."  
  
"Well, you're keeping it a secret from everyone, aren't you?" Elise asked with a smile and a raised eyebrow. "It's okay, I understand."  
  
"Yeah, we are," Sydney said, looking down into her teacup, as if the directions for how to proceed with this conversation would magically appear in the steaming liquid. "That's not the only secret we've been keeping, though. There are . . . things that you don't know about me," she said in a hesitant, shaky voice. "Things that may affect how you feel about me, how you feel about my relationship with your son, and I think it's only fair that you should know, so you can make an honest assessment of me."  
  
Elise looked at Sydney with concern, unable to imagine what kind of secret she was keeping or why she looked so terrified at the prospect of sharing it with her. She set her teacup and saucer on the coffee table and folded her hands in her lap, watching as Sydney nervously did the same.  
  
"Sydney, what is it that you have to tell me?" she asked in an encouraging voice, hoping to make her feel more at ease.  
  
"I'm not sure where to begin," Sydney said as she subconsciously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Saturday night at dinner, you were telling me all kinds of stories about your family and your husband's family, and I'm sure you must have noticed that I was uncomfortable when you asked me about my own family."  
  
Elise nodded. "I did, but I didn't want to pry into your personal life."  
  
"It's okay," Sydney said, taking a deep breath. "I guess the first thing I should tell you is that I'm not the only spy in my family. My father works for the CIA too; in fact, he's a double agent like I am, although I never knew it until my fiance was killed. Until then, I thought he worked for an airline parts manufacturer. He and I weren't very close when I was growing up," she explained.  
  
"Were your parents divorced?" Elise asked. Sydney shook her head.  
  
"No. My mother died in a car accident when I was six, and after that my father was so emotionally distant that he and I never really had much of a relationship. We've gotten closer since he told me the truth about who I was working for, but I'm still learning a lot of things about him -- about both of my parents, actually. I've reached a place where I finally trust him, but last year, I didn't trust him at all. I had a lot of questions about him, which I told Michael, so he did some checking around and pulled my father's file, and we learned that he had once been investigated by the FBI."  
  
"He was accused of selling secrets?" Elise asked with surprise. She knew from her years with William that the FBI rarely investigated CIA agents unless they were suspected of being traitors.  
  
"Yes. The FBI suspected him of collaborating with the KGB, but he was eventually cleared. That wasn't enough to alleviate my doubts, though. I knew that he was still hiding things from me, and when I found KGB codes in some of my mother's old books, I was convinced that he actually *did* have ties to the KGB. So, Michael had the codes translated and we discovered that they were order to kill CIA agents, twelve of them, actually. Michael wanted me to turn my father in, but we were just starting to get to know each other, to have an actual relationship, so I was reluctant to report him."  
  
"Well, that's certainly understandable. I can't imagine being in such a position. That couldn't have been an easy decision for you to make."  
  
"It wasn't, and I didn't actually agree to report him until Michael showed me the profile of the twelfth agent. Elise, I don't know how to tell you this," Sydney said as she leaned forward, "but that agent was your husband."  
  
Sydney expected Elise to gasp or scream or kick her out of her office, but she simply leaned back into her chair and let out a slow breath. "That was in December, wasn't it?"  
  
"Yes, it was," Sydney said quietly.  
  
"When Michael came home for Christmas that year, he told me what he had learned about his father's death. When William died, we were never told why or how -- the agency never tells you that -- but I always assumed that he died a violent death. It's a safe bet that when an agent dies in the line of duty, it wasn't from natural causes," she said with a wry smile. "This may sound strange, but when Michael told me that William was murdered, it almost gave me a sense of peace, because at least I didn't have to wonder anymore." She looked at Sydney with questioning eyes. "Did you ever report your father?"  
  
Sydney blinked, surprised by Elise's calm, matter-of-fact demeanor. "I did. Michael and I did together, actually. But when we met with the deputy director, we learned that my father wasn't responsible for those agents' deaths . . . my mother was."  
  
"Your mother? She was the one who killed those agents?" Elise asked with honest shock.  
  
"Yes. As it turned out, she was a KGB agent sent to spy on my father. *She* was the one who received those orders and *she* was the one who carried them out. She killed your husband, and I don't even know how to apologize to you for that."  
  
Elise looked down at her folded hands and Sydney unwittingly held her breath waiting for her to speak again.  
  
"When Michael told me that William was murdered, he was so matter-of-fact about it. If learning the truth was hard on him, he certainly didn't let me see it. If you don't mind my asking, how did he react to the news when you found out?" she asked with concern.  
  
"He was understandably shocked, but he's so selfless that I think he was actually more concerned about my feelings, about how I felt having learned that everything I thought I knew about my mother was a lie. Sometimes he's *too* selfless," she said with a small frown as she remembered the way he'd comforted her, when she probably should have been the one comforting him. Their relationship had been a lot different then, but she wished that she had paid more attention to the pain that he must have been feeling, instead of focusing on her own pain.  
  
"He *can* be far too selfless sometimes," Elise agreed, "but he probably realized, like I do, that what's done is done. By the time he learned the truth, William had been dead for twenty-five years, and nothing would have brought him back. Your mother was dead, too, so it wouldn't have done much good for him to be angry or vengeful."  
  
"No, I suppose not, if her death had put an end to her deception -- but it didn't. We learned a few months later that she faked her death and was still alive. I know this must sound like a ridiculous soap opera," Sydney said with a frustrated shake of her head.  
  
"A bit," Elise said, too stunned to say much else. Her mind couldn't even begin to process the unbelievable story that Sydney was telling her.  
  
"Would you believe me if I said it gets worse?"  
  
"Probably not," Elise said, even as she braced herself for what was coming next.  
  
"It does," Sydney said softly. "When my mother faked her death, she went back to Russia and eventually formed her own crime syndicate."  
  
"You're serious?" Elise asked with a weary, disbelieving smile. Sydney nodded and Elise took a deep breath. "Is she . . . is she on the run? Is she still a threat?"  
  
"I'm not sure if she's still a threat to anyone, but she's in federal custody at the joint operations center in L.A."  
  
"I see. Is there anything else?" Elise asked when Sydney paused. She was almost afraid to know the answer. "Please tell me that there's nothing else," she said with a nervous smile.  
  
"No, that's all," Sydney said. She couldn't bring herself to tell Elise about finding Irina in Taipei and the virus that almost claimed Vaughn's life. She had already overwhelmed her enough for one day. "I can't even imagine what you must be thinking or feeling right now, other than the urge to tell Michael to run as fast as he can."  
  
"Why would you think that I would tell him that?" Elise asked with genuine surprise.  
  
"Because my family is so profoundly screwed up. Sometimes I think he would have been better off if he'd never met any of us. But, Elise, you should know that I love your son more than anyone in this world, and I would sooner die before I'd let my mother hurt him or your family again."  
  
"I believe you, but *you* should know that there will be hell to pay if you have any plans of following in your mother's footsteps and deceiving my son the way that she deceived your father." The steely tone in her voice sent chills down Sydney's spine, and she had no doubt that Elise would carry through on her threat, if necessary.   
  
"That being said," she said in a much warmer tone, "I don't honestly believe that you would ever do that to him, and I like to think that I'm a good judge of character," she smiled. "I have to tell you that I greatly admire your honesty, Sydney. I know it couldn't have been easy for you to come here and tell me what you just did."  
  
"No, it wasn't, but it was something that I needed to do."  
  
"Well, that's at least one difference between you and Michael," Elise said with a thoughtful smile. "He probably never would have told me about your mother."  
  
"Oh, I think he would have, eventually. He was just concerned about how it would affect you."  
  
"That's so like him," she rolled her eyes. "He's always trying to protect the people he loves, even when he doesn't need to. He's spent his whole life doing that, and even though his intentions are good, sometimes it can be infuriating."  
  
"I guess he's used that as a coping mechanism ever since his father died," Sydney said softly. "Just another example of the damage my mother caused."  
  
"Actually, he comes by that honestly. William was exactly the same way," Elise smiled. "He and I didn't argue very often, but when we did, it was usually because I found out that he was keeping some secret in a misguided effort to protect me. It took me years to realize that he wasn't patronizing me, but that he just couldn't bear to see me upset or unhappy. It's amazing how a trait can be someone's best and worst quality at the same time, but I suspect you're learning that with Michael."  
  
Sydney smiled softly. "I think he's spent every minute of the last two years trying to protect me, but even though he doesn't have to, I'd be lying if I said that it wasn't one of my favorite things about him. His capacity to love is amazing."  
  
"So is his capacity for forgiveness," Elise said meaningfully. Sydney looked back at her with surprise.  
  
"Maybe, but I'm not sure he's ever going to be able to forgive my mother. I can't honestly say that she deserves his forgiveness. I don't think she's even expressed remorse for what she did."  
  
Elise swallowed hard at the realization that the woman who killed her husband might not even care about the impact she'd had on twelve families, including her own. She simply couldn't understand how anyone could be so heartless and callous, but it was obvious that those traits hadn't been passed along to her daughter, who sat across from her with tears in her eyes. She was touched by Sydney's obvious guilt and reached across the coffee table to place a comforting hand over Sydney's own shaking hands.  
  
"Forgiveness isn't always earned, Sydney. Sometimes it's just given, even when we don't deserve it. Have *you* been able to forgive your mother?"  
  
"No, not yet. I'm still trying to figure her out, but I want to be able to forgive her so I can move on with my life. But even if I forgive her for what she's done to me, I'm not sure that I can ever forgive her for what she's done to my father and Michael. They're the two most important men in my life, and she ripped both of them apart. I don't know how to feel about that."  
  
"I understand. There aren't any easy answers for that. Now that I know the truth about your mother, I think I'm going to have to work through some forgiveness issues of my own. But Sydney, I won't be forgiving *you* because there's nothing to forgive you for. I don't want to oversimplify things, and I realize that this situation is complicated, but I don't hold you responsible for what your mother did. She's done horrible, despicable things, but it wouldn't be fair to ask you to shoulder the burden of her sins. So maybe you should stop trying to," she said with a sincere smile.  
  
"Elise," Sydney said as a tear ran down her face, "the last thing I expected when I came here was for you to be so understanding. I . . . I don't know what to say or how to repay your kindness."  
  
"Just love my son, and take care of him. That's all you have to do, and as long as you do that, you and I will get along just fine. All I want is for him to be happy. I want that for you too," she said as she stood up and drew Sydney into a hug.  
  
"So do I, and I will, I promise," Sydney said, smiling through watery eyes. It was one of the easiest promises she'd ever had to make.  
TBC . . . 


	17. Donna Reed

A/N: Hey guys. I apologize for the excessively looong wait for the new chapter. The past month has been a wild one, but hopefully things will calm down for a while. After all the delay, I wish this chapter was better than it is, but I've cried "uncle" for now. Hopefully you guys will like it more than I do. As always, thanks for all of your support and reviews. It astounds me how many people have responded to this story. I don't know what I've done to deserve all of you, but I'm very grateful.  
Chapter 17: "Donna Reed"  
  
Elise sat at her desk and idly twirled her pen between her fingers as she stared off into space. Sydney had left hours ago and she'd been in deep thought ever since, still trying to digest everything Sydney had told her. The whole story was so incredible, however, that she still wasn't sure she fully believed it. How was it possible that the daughter of the woman who killed her husband had grown up to fall in love with her son? That was an even bigger twist of fate than the one that led her to see William again in that Parisian cafe, she mused.   
  
She picked up the frame holding her wedding photograph and smiled at her husband's smiling face. She instantly remembered how incredibly nervous and excited she'd been that day. She and William hadn't even been together for six months at that point, yet she had been willing to pledge both her heart and her life to him. She had been a little afraid that they were rushing into marriage, but she was so in love with him that she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. In retrospect, she hadn't had any reason to worry. The only thing that had cast a shadow over her wedding day was her father's absence, though William was the only one who noticed how much it had upset her. While everyone else saw a beautiful bride brimming with happiness, he could see the hurt lurking behind her eyes and he had so sweetly tried to take it away.   
  
The memory of how she felt that day was the primary reason she was determined not to let her feelings about Sydney's mother cloud her feelings about Sydney and Michael's relationship. She knew her son well enough to know that if he was truly in love with Sydney, he wouldn't let anything or anyone stand in the way of being with her. That was why he needed to know that she loved and supported him no matter what. She would never want his wedding day to be tinged with the same sadness that had marred her own.   
  
She gently set the frame back down on her desk, next to the picture of her and Michael that had been taken when she visited him in Los Angeles last summer. She couldn't help but be struck by the contrast between father and son. Michael was handsome and sensitive like William, but Elise was well aware that he had inherited her stubbornness and tendency to wall off her emotions. He was a equal mix of their best and worst qualities wrapped into one perfect package. Well, maybe he wasn't perfect, but he was the most important person in her life and she wasn't ashamed to admit that she completely doted on him. She had been absolutely truthful when she told Sydney that his happiness was the only thing that mattered to her. After William died, raising their son had been the only thing that held her together and kept her from sinking into depression and despair. She had essentially lived her life for him and now he was her proudest accomplishment. She only wished that William was still alive to see what a wonderful man he had become, and that was what fueled the twisting emotions inside her now. She could perhaps forgive his killer for taking him away from her, but she knew she could never forgive her for depriving her son of his father.  
  
She was roused from her thoughts when a knock on her door startled her.   
  
"Come in," she called. She looked up to see Vaughn poking his head through the cracked door and smiled. "Michael, what are you doing here?"   
  
He closed the door behind him and walked over to her, giving her a kiss on the cheek before taking a seat in front of her desk.  
  
"Do I need an excuse to see my own mother?" She shot him a knowing look and he smiled in response. "Apparently, I do. I know that Sydney came to talk to you today, and I just wanted to come by and make sure that you were okay," he said earnestly. "I know it couldn't have been easy for you to hear all the things she must have told you."  
  
"That was sweet of you, darling, but completely unnecessary. I'm fine."  
  
"You're fine?" Vaughn said dubiously. "Mom, you just found out that dad's killer is alive and that her daughter is my girlfriend. You don't really expect me to believe that you're just fine with that, do you?"  
  
"Maybe 'fine' wasn't the best choice of words," Elise acknowledged. "But I'm not exactly falling apart, either. Your father's been dead for twenty-six years. I've had more than enough time to heal," she gently reminded him.  
  
"I know. I just wanted to make sure that today didn't open up any old wounds."  
  
"Is that what it did to you?" She watched as his eyes widened in surprise. "Sweetheart, I know that ever since you joined the company, you wanted to know the details about your father's death."  
  
"I still don't know all the details," Vaughn frowned.  
  
"Maybe not, but you know that he was killed and you know who killed him. Learning those truths must have felt like losing him all over again, in a way," she said quietly.  
  
Vaughn looked at his mother and saw the pain etched on her face. He swallowed and tried to fight the lump forming in his throat. She was usually so stoic that he could only count on two hands the number of times he had seen visual evidence of the grief she felt over his father's death.   
  
"Mom," he began.  
  
"I'm okay," she said with a reassuring smile. "It's just difficult knowing that that woman is still alive and that she's never had to pay for what she did. But I don't blame Sydney for her mother's actions and I told her that when she was here."  
  
Vaughn slowly let out a breath that he hadn't realized he had been holding. "Thank you for that," he said softly. Even though he'd reassured Sydney that his mother wouldn't hold the past against her, a tiny part of him had been afraid that she actually might. He certainly would have understood if she had.  
  
Elise studied the relieved expression on her son's face. "You were afraid that I was going to be angry with her, weren't you?" she asked with astonishment  
  
"I kept telling her that you wouldn't be, but I was a little concerned," he admitted.  
  
"Well, that would have been ridiculous," Elise sniffed.  
  
"Or maybe it just would have been human," Vaughn offered. "Neither of us would have blamed you if had been angry."  
  
"No, I suppose not, but that just wouldn't be . . . it wouldn't be right to make Sydney suffer for something that she wasn't responsible for. It's obvious that she's carrying around enough guilt as it is. I wouldn't have wanted to contribute further to that. The only person who should be made to suffer is her mother," she said pointedly.  
  
"Yeah, well she's not. Suffering, I mean. She's in custody, but she has a much cushier arrangement than most federal detainees have. You know what, though, I don't really want to talk about her right now."  
  
Elise could see how uncomfortable he was and knew that neither of them was ready to discuss their feelings about Sydney's mother just yet.  
  
"Do you and Sydney ever talk about her?" she gently asked.  
  
"Not really. Actually, the other night was the first time that we really talked about the fact that we never talk about our parents," he said with a wry laugh. "We're both so busy trying to protect each other's feelings that it's hard for us to be honest about our own feelings sometimes."  
  
"I completely understand, but the two of you are going to have to *start* being honest with each other, for the sake of your relationship."  
  
"I know."  
  
"I saw that look, Michael," Elise said knowingly. "The patented Michael Vaughn 'don't lecture me, mom' look, but I'm not lecturing you. I'm simply *advising* you not to hold things back from Sydney, because I don't want you to screw things up with her."  
  
"I have no intention of screwing things up with Sydney," Vaughn said with amusement.  
  
"You men usually don't intend to screw up, but you manage to find ways," Elise laughed. "It didn't use to be a concern for me because frankly, I never thought much of most of your girlfriends, anyway -- "  
  
"That's an understatement," Vaughn interjected.  
  
"Michael, please. You've had questionable taste and you know it. All I'm saying is that I don't know how you managed to snag Sydney, but I like her a lot. I'd like to see her stick around."  
  
"I love how you said that in your best 'I'm not trying to tell you what to do, I'm just telling what to do' voice," Vaughn laughed. "Trust me, if I have my way, Sydney will be around for a very long time. She and I have so many issues and obstacles standing in the path of happily ever after, but all that really matters is that I love her. I want to spend my life with her," he admitted.  
  
Elise beamed at him for a few moments before her face took on a more sober expression. "Can I ask you something?" she asked cautiously.  
  
"What?"  
  
"If I hadn't been able to handle what Sydney told me . . . if I told you that there was no way that I would ever accept her as part of your life, what would you have done?"  
  
Vaughn swallowed uneasily and tried to avoid her gaze. Even though it was a moot point, he didn't want to be discussing this subject with his mother. "I, uh, I would have tried to change your mind."  
  
"And what if you couldn't?"  
  
"Then I would have tried harder."  
  
"And what if *that* didn't work?"  
  
"Am I back in law school?" Vaughn nervously laughed. "What's with the Socratic method, Mom?"  
  
"I'm not trying to badger you; I just want to know what you would have done. I'm curious," Elise shrugged.  
  
"Well, I would've tried to change your mind, but if that didn't work, then I would have had to just let you work through those issues on your own."  
  
"And you would have stayed with Sydney?"  
  
"Yeah, I would have. I know that's a horrible thing to say to your mother -- "  
  
"It's a horrible thing to say to your father, too, but sometimes the truth hurts. Don't apologize for that. I always knew that one day a woman would come along and take my place as the most important woman in your life and I've been dreading that day forever because you and I have always been so close. But the first time I saw the way that Sydney looked at you, I knew that day had come, and I'm actually glad that it has. Besides, Sydney might actually be the answer to all my prayers," she said, her eyes twinkling.  
  
"Whoa, slow down, Mom. I can already see you mentally naming the grandchildren. That's still a long way off, so don't get your hopes up just yet."  
  
"I'm not," she said innocently. Vaughn simply shook his head and laughed, knowing that she was lying. "Speaking of Sydney, I've greatly enjoyed your company, but you should be with her right now, so go home," she laughed.  
  
"Okay, you don't have to tell me twice." Vaughn walked around behind Elise's chair and draped an arm around her shoulders. "Thank you for being so good to Sydney, Mom. I can't tell you how much that means to me," he murmured. "Just know that no matter what happens for the rest of my life, you will *always* be the best person I've ever known, and I love you."  
  
"I love you too, Michael," she smiled as he left her office.  
  
*****  
  
Vaughn smiled as he turned the key in the lock of his front door. After the talk with his mom, he felt as if things were perfect -- except for the fact that Sydney was leaving in six days and they were soon going to be separated by a whole continent again, and SD-6 was still a threat to both of their lives. Yep, other than that, life was perfect, he mused as he opened the door to a darkened house. Donovan ran up to greet him and he looked around quizzically before reaching for a switch on the wall.  
  
"Don't turn on the lights," Sydney admonished him as she walked into the foyer. "I'm trying to create an atmosphere here." She smiled at the way his eyes lit up when he saw her, and she gently tugged on his tie until he bent his head down and gave her a searing kiss.  
  
"Hi honey, I'm glad you're home," she said sweetly when they broke apart. "How was your day?"  
  
"It just got a lot better," he smiled as she took his suit jacket from him and grabbed his hand. She led him into the living room, draping his jacket across the back of a chair before sitting down next to him on the couch. She leaned in and raked her fingers through his hair as she kissed him again.  
  
"I missed you," she smiled.  
  
"Obviously," he cracked. "Are we going somewhere?"  
  
"No," she said as she undid his tie and unbuttoned the first couple of buttons on his shirt. "Why do you ask?"  
  
"Because that dress is begging to be shown off in public," he said, admiring her low cut, backless, black dress.  
  
"Maybe, but I wore it just for you."  
  
"Really? Did you wear it because you like me or because you're trying to make me have a heart attack?"  
  
"Neither. Or maybe both," she grinned. "I'm glad you like it."  
  
"I like it so much that I'm already looking forward to taking it off," he growled as he wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck.  
  
"Behave, Vaughn," she giggled. "That comes later, okay?" She broke free from his grasp and picked up two glasses of wine from the coffee table and handed one to him. He wrapped his left arm around her shoulder and they sank back together on the couch. "I wore the dress because I planned a romantic dinner and I thought it called for something nicer than jeans. We're celebrating tonight," she said brightly.  
  
"Celebrating what?"  
  
"The fact that your mom doesn't hate me," she laughed. "The fact that if you and I ever have kids, they're going to have her wonderful genes."  
  
"Lot of good that did me," Vaughn smirked. "Actually, I just came from my mom's office, and she told me that your talk went well. I couldn't be any happier about that, Syd."  
  
"Me either. She's an amazing person."  
  
"Yes, she is," Vaughn agreed. "So are you. You've proven that to me again and again, but I'm in awe of the courage it took for you to face her alone."  
  
"It didn't take that much courage, Vaughn. Sometimes you give me too much credit," she protested.  
  
"It did take courage, and don't pretend that it didn't, because I saw how afraid you were that it wouldn't go well. It was something that you needed to do for yourself, and you did it. That took courage."  
  
"I didn't do it for me," Sydney said, placing her glass back on the table and turning to him. "I did it for us. I did it so there wouldn't be a black cloud hanging over our relationship."  
  
"And now there's not," Vaughn smiled as he set down his own glass and pulled her into another kiss. He felt desire surge through his body as her tongue pressed into his mouth and his fingers caressed the bare skin just above the small of her back. "Syd," he rasped after a few minutes, "I *really* want to take you upstairs and take off that dress."  
  
"No!" she laughed as she reached behind her and removed the offending hand from her back.  
  
"Okay, we don't have to go upstairs," he offered. "We don't even have to take off the dress if you don't want to."  
  
"Now you're just getting desperate, Vaughn. Seriously, we need to go eat dinner. Maybe food will take your mind off of your libido for a little while," she smirked as she stood up and pulled him up from the couch.  
  
"Don't count on it," he said as he picked up the wine glasses and followed her into the dining room. The table was set with a white linen tablecloth and floating candles which gave the room a soft, romantic glow. "Syd, you didn't have to go to all this trouble," he said in a soft voice, filled with awe.  
  
"I know, I just wanted to. I don't know if you realize it," she said shyly, "but this is the first time that you've ever come home to me at the end of the day -- even though it's not actually *our* home," she said with a breathless laugh.  
  
"I did realize it. I was thinking about it on the drive home. Usually the only thing I have to look forward to when I come home is Donovan humping my leg. I like this a lot better," he smiled. "It would be so incredible to come home to you every day -- not that I'd want you to be sitting around waiting for me to come home, of course. Unless you wanted to, because there's nothing wrong with you not working if you don't want to," he sputtered.  
  
"Vaughn, relax," she said with amusement. "I know what you meant, so don't worry, I'm not going to sic the president of NOW on you. I like the way this feels, too. It feels . . . normal and domestic, which appeals to me since nothing about our lives is normal *or* domestic. I guess you always want what you don't have."  
  
"Like you, upstairs with that dress in a crumpled heap on the floor? Yeah, I want that a lot right now," he grinned. "So you cooked?" he asked, changing the subject when she shot him a dirty look.  
  
"Yeah, I did. What? Don't look so shocked. I even have the dirty dishes in the sink to prove it. I can show them to you if you don't believe me."  
  
"No, I take your word for it, but didn't you tell me in Santa Barbara that you were a horrible cook?"  
  
"I may have overstated the case just a little. I'm not a *horrible* cook, I just don't do it very often. Jetting around the world doesn't leave much time for brushing up on my skills, but the Food Network is my favorite cable channel if that counts for anything," she laughed. "Anyway, sit down. I'll be right back."  
  
Sydney left the room and returned a minute later with two plates of roasted chicken, rosemary potatoes, and asparagus. She set them down on the table and sank into her chair, beaming at Vaughn. She didn't want to scare him, but she was totally getting into the role of domestic goddess although Donna Reed would probably never wear a slinky dress like the one she was wearing right now. Then again, Donna Reed wasn't planning on seducing Vaughn after dinner, so what did she know?  
  
"This looks and smells great, Syd."  
  
"Thanks." She held her breath and watched as he took a bite, and was relived when he appeared to actually like it. "So how was work? I always wanted to ask you that," she said with a dimpled grin.  
  
He smiled back at her, amused by the way that he and Sydney got so excited by the smallest moments of normalcy. So many people took those kinds of moments for granted, but their relationship was so unconventional that they reveled in each new one they experienced. "Actually, work was kind of boring. I spent most of the day in meetings with agents from the FBI's financial crimes division. They were briefing us on all the possible charges that might be filed against Sloane, which was, of course, fascinating -- except for the part where it wasn't. But their investigation turned up some interesting connections to some of the other Alliance cells, which may turn out to be useful to us. Exciting stuff, huh?"  
  
Sydney shrugged. "It will be if it puts an end to the Alliance. That's all I care about. I'm so ready for this to be over. I have been since it started, but even more so now that I've met your mom, and seen where you grew up, and spent a day lazing around with you and Donovan. I always thought that I wanted to be rid of SD-6 so I could have my life back, but now I realize that I want to be rid of it so I can be a part of *your* life."  
  
"You *are* a part of my life, Syd. You're the biggest part," Vaughn said, reaching across the table to take her hand.  
  
"I know, but I'm a secret part. Other than Weiss, Will, my parents and your mom, no one even knows that we're together. You have friends at Langley that I can't meet this week, and even more friends back in L.A. that I don't know," she sighed. "As much as I like having you all to myself when we're together, I hate feeling like our relationship exists in a vacuum. That's why it felt so good to be around your mom and not have to hide. She's the first person -- the only person -- who's actually seen us together as a couple. I know that it shouldn't matter, but it does."   
  
"I understand. Almost everyone that I'm working with right now has pictures on their desks of their loved ones -- wives, children, girlfriends. The only picture on my desk is one of Donovan curled up in my mom's lap."  
  
"No," Sydney said, trying to stifle a laugh.  
  
"Yes. How pathetic is that? A few weeks ago, I was wishing that I could put a picture of you on my desk until it occurred to me that I don't even *have* any pictures of you. That's crazy, but at least it won't be this way forever. Soon, you'll know more of my friends and family than you ever wanted to. God help you when you meet the Delormes. I told you they're kind of crazy, right?"  
  
"Stop. I'm sure they're lovely; I can't wait to meet them *and* the Vaughns."  
  
"Well, the Vaughns are actually normal, maybe because they're not French. That makes all the difference in the world," he grinned. "Actually, I should stop giving you the wrong impression about my mom's family. They're great people, they're just a little eccentric compared to my dad's family."  
  
"Speaking of your dad's family," Sydney said uneasily as she put her fork down, "have you thought at all about how you're going to tell them about me?"  
  
"Well, I was thinking something along the lines of, 'Hey everyone, this is my girlfriend, Sydney.' Unless you want a more formal introduction," he teased.  
  
"That's not what I meant, Vaughn. I meant, have you figured out how you're going to tell them about my mom?"  
  
"Actually, I've decided that I'm not going to."  
  
"What? Why?" Sydney asked, her eyes growing wide.  
  
"Because I've thought about it and I don't see the point of telling them. Why should I?"  
  
"Because they deserve to know the truth, maybe?"  
  
"Syd, it was one thing to tell my mom. She was the wife of a CIA agent, and the mother of another. She understands that there are certain things that I tell her that she shouldn't know, but I can trust her with those things because she has enough discretion to keep them to herself. But as far the agency's concerned, the story of your mother and those 12 agents is still classified, so I really shouldn't be sharing all the details with my family."  
  
Sydney snatched her hand away from Vaughn's as her face flushed with anger. "I don't believe you, Vaughn. I can't believe believe you're hiding behind the agency's rules and regulations."  
  
"*Hiding*? I'm not hiding behind anything, Sydney."  
  
"Yes you are; don't think that I can't see that. The real reason you don't want to tell the rest of your family is because you don't think they'll be nearly as accepting as your mom was."  
  
"What, you can read my mind now?" Vaughn asked facetiously. "Syd, this has nothing to do with their reaction. I just don't think there's anything to gain from telling them. It's not going to bring him back," he said softly, " and it's not going to make them feel any better about losing him. Besides, I don't think your desire to tell them has anything to do with them. This is all about *your* feelings."   
  
Vaughn winced at the wounded expression on Sydney's face and he realized that his words hadn't come out sounding the way he meant them to.  
  
"You think this is all about me?" Sydney choked out in a small, anguished voice. She couldn't believe he thought she was so self-centered. Their romantic dinner was going straight to hell, she thought as Vaughn slipped out of his chair and knelt down next to her, taking her hands in his and forcing her to look at him.  
  
"Yeah, I do think it's all about you. You carry around so much guilt for what your mother did, and it's so unnecessary. You don't owe it to my family to tell them what she did and you don't owe them any apologies. Hell, Syd, you don't owe *me* any apologies. I just wish that you would stop beating yourself up over this. I admire you immensely for telling my mom, but she should be the last stop on the Sydney Bristow guilt tour. I think part of you is almost hoping that my family will hate you if they find out the truth, because you feel like you deserve that. But you don't Syd, because it's not your fault. It's not. I just want you to see that and believe it -- if not for yourself, then for me," he pleaded.  
  
"Vaughn, that's not fair," she said with a reluctant smile as she looked into his imploring eyes. "You know that I can't refuse you anything."  
  
"That's what I'm hoping," he smiled. "I just hate seeing you heap everything on yourself when there's no reason to."  
  
"So, what? I should stop feeling guilty just because you want me to? Two years worth of guilt isn't going to go away overnight, Vaughn," she sighed.  
  
"I know that," he smiled as he stroked the side of her face. "But it *will* go away eventually, and if I have to distract you from it in the meantime, I will."  
  
"How are you gonna do that?" she asked with a small roll of her eyes.  
  
"I have my ways," he said with a cocky grin.   
  
She looked down at him and couldn't help but smile. Deep inside, she knew he was right. It was time for her to let go of her guilt, but first she needed to figure out why it was a constant presence in her life to begin with. There was only one person who could give her the answers she needed, so when she returned to L.A., she was going to have to finally confront her mother head on. She wasn't particularly looking forward to it, especially knowing that the one person she'd want to turn to for comfort afterwards wouldn't be there when she needed him most. But she would cross that bridge when she got to it. He was here now, and that was all that mattered. For the time being, she was going to push all further thoughts of her mother out of her mind and enjoy every minute she had left with Vaughn. Starting now.   
  
She bent down and gave him a soft kiss, then stood up and walked towards the hallway. She felt Vaughn's eyes watching her, and she turned around and fixed him with a seductive stare. "Are you gonna stay there or are you going to follow me upstairs?"  
  
"What about the table and the dishes?"  
  
"They can wait until later, or you can stay down here and take care of them now if you want. But the dress is coming off . . . you wouldn't want to miss that, would you? I know you wanted to see what it would look like on the floor of your bedroom, she teased."  
  
"So you're actually going to let me have what I want?"  
  
"All night long. Just this once, though," she grinned.  
  
She realized that sometimes it was a nice fantasy to want the things that you couldn't have. But other times, like now, it was much better to focus on the things -- and people -- that you did have, and having Vaughn made her feel like she had everything she could ever want.  
TBC . . . 


	18. Opening Up

Chapter 18: "Opening Up"  
A sleepy smile spread across Sydney's face as she woke up on Thursday morning. It amazed her how much better she slept when she was with Vaughn, though she wasn't sure if it was because his presence calmed and soothed her or because he left her utterly exhausted every time he made love to her. Either way, she always woke up happy the next morning. Unfortunately, she had also woken up alone for the past few days. Well, not totally alone, she thought with chuckle as she opened her eyes and leaned over the side of the bed, expecting to see Donovan lying on the floor next to her. For the past few days, he'd waddled into the bedroom after Vaughn left for work and quietly sat near the bed, as if he was on orders to watch over her and make sure she was okay.  
  
She was surprised then to look down and not see him staring back at her. She didn't think much of it, though, as she rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. Instead, she tried to figure out how she was going to spend the hours until Vaughn came home. In the past three days, she felt as if she had visited every museum in D.C. She'd enjoyed it, but she definitely needed to find something else to do today. Too bad the CIA didn't give public tours of the Langley headquarters she thought with a devilish grin. It would have been fun to sneak away from a tour and try to find Vaughn's office. On second thought, without her CIA credentials, she was likely to be arrested for snooping, and she could only imagine what would happen if SD-6 security section learned that she was visiting CIA headquarters. She was convinced that she wasn't being tracked this week, but perhaps she should stick to something safe like going to the mall instead.   
  
She was still trying to figure out what to do with herself when she heard the jangling sound of dog tags growing louder by the second. She laughed as she raised herself up on her elbows just in time to see Donovan poke his nose through the cracked door and excitedly run over to the bed.  
  
"I knew you couldn't stay away from me," she grinned, as she leaned over to rub him on the head.  
  
"No, I couldn't."   
  
Sydney momentarily froze when she heard Vaughn's voice, and she looked up to see him standing in the doorway, giving her a smile that made her heart skip a beat. He walked towards her, carrying a tray loaded with juice, croissants and fruit, which he placed at the foot of the bed as he sat down next to her.   
  
"What are you doing here?" she asked as she raised herself into a sitting position.  
  
"Bringing you breakfast in bed," he smiled.  
  
"Shouldn't you be at the office?"  
  
"I'm taking the day off. Tomorrow too," he said with a happy grin. "I only have three more days before you leave, and I didn't want to waste them in the office."  
  
"You're so sweet. This is the best surprise ever," Sydney said happily as she leaned forward to kiss him.  
  
"Really?" Vaughn asked quizzically, leaning back before she could make contact with him.  
  
"Yes. Vaughn, what's wrong?" she asked as he looked at her strangely.  
  
"Nothing, it's just . . . When Eric got back to L.A. last week, did he give you anything?" Vaughn asked, searching her face for signs of recognition.  
  
"Oh my god, yes!" she cried as she rose to her knees and threw her arms around his neck. "I can't believe I forgot to thank you for that," she murmured in his ear. "No wonder you were looking at me like I was crazy just now. I stand corrected -- the tickets to the Maldives were *definitely* the best surprise ever. I haven't even thanked you properly," she smiled as she disentangled herself from him and sat back on her heels.  
  
"It's okay, I was just starting to wonder since you hadn't mentioned them. I was starting to think Eric kept them instead of giving them to you," he grinned.  
  
"No. No, he gave them to me, and I was so . . . " Her voice trailed off as she realized that there were no words to express how she'd felt when she saw the tickets. Instead, she leaned forward, taking Vaughn's face in her hands as she kissed him slowly at first, then more insistently. He moved his hands underneath the hem of her tank top and pulled her closer as he deepened the kiss.  
  
"You're welcome," he grinned when they finally broke apart a few minutes later.  
  
"Thank you," she laughed. "Is this really going to be over by July?" she asked breathlessly.  
  
"It had better be, because you and I are going on vacation no matter what. In all seriousness, the raids are planned for the last week of June, so everything should be over by the time we leave. Then I get to sweep you away and have you all to myself," he said, his eyes twinkling.  
  
"I can't believe it," she said, shaking her head. "I can't wait."   
  
"Me either." Vaughn rose from the bed and pulled open one of his dresser drawers. He removed a shiny booklet and sat back down next to Sydney. "Here."  
  
She took the booklet from him and gasped as she looked at the cover. "Banyan Tree Resort. Is this where we're staying?"  
  
"Yeah," he grinned. Sydney had a rapturous look on her face that he had only seen a few times before, and never while she was fully clothed. It thrilled him to see how happy she was.  
  
"Vaughn, this place looks *amazing*. It's even more beautiful than Fiji. Oh my god," she sang, unable to control her excitement. An aerial shot of the island showed that it couldn't have been more than two square miles in size, and it was completely surrounded by sparkling blue-green water and white sand. Her mouth fell open as she flipped through the brochure and saw pictures of the resort's villas. Each villa stood on short platforms on the beach, and had a thatched roof, glass doors and green shutters opening out to the beach. In the middle of each villa was a four poster bed with sheer fabric draped around each post, and connected to each villa was its own beach sala and jacuzzi. She couldn't imagine a more romantic setting on earth, and knowing she was going to be there with Vaughn made her feel dizzy.  
  
"Wow. I don't even know what to say."  
  
"The look on your face says everything. I did good, huh?"  
  
"*So* good," she grinned at him before turning her attention back to the brochure. "Did you see this? The chefs will cook a gourmet dinner for you on the beach? This place is too good to be true. Do you know how to dive?" she asked excitedly as her words came a mile a minute.  
  
"Yeah, I do, which is good since there's not much to do on the island *other* than swim and dive. I guess we're gonna have to be creative about finding other things to do to occupy our time," he said suggestively.  
  
"We won't have to be *that* creative, Vaughn," she laughed.  
  
"No, I guess not." He kissed her bare shoulder and she turned to look at him again.  
  
"Thank you," she said softly.  
  
"You don't have to thank me. You deserve this, Syd, this and so much more. After everything you've been through and how hard you've worked to bring down the Alliance, you deserve more than a vacation."  
  
"Everything that *we've* been through, and how hard *we've* worked," she corrected. "You've been my partner every step of the way through this, Vaughn. You deserve it too," she said firmly.  
  
"If you say so. Maybe I'll send the bill to Devlin and tell him he owes us," he laughed.  
  
"Oh, he does, definitely. You don't think he's going to freak out when two of his agents just up and leave for a vacation, do you?"  
  
"Who cares?" Vaughn shrugged as he pulled the breakfast tray over to them. "The day the Alliance goes down is the last day we let anyone else dictate what we do with our lives."  
  
She nodded and smiled at him, then laughed as Donovan started dancing around their feet, begging to share their breakfast.  
  
"Greedy dog," Vaughn muttered as he broke off a piece of a croissant and gave it to Donovan. "So what do you want to do today?" he asked, turning back to Sydney.  
  
"It doesn't matter . . . whatever you want to do." She was grateful simply for the opportunity to spend time with him.  
  
"Whatever *I* want to do?" Vaughn asked with a raised eyebrow. "You sure about that?"  
  
"Of course, I'm sure," she smiled seductively. "I don't mind spending the day in bed with you."  
  
"Who said anything about spending the day in bed?" he grinned. "I'm taking you to play hockey."  
  
*****  
  
Three hours later, Sydney sat on a bench, zipping her boots up before pressing her glove-covered hands to her face and warming her cheeks. She had never played hockey before, but Vaughn was a patient teacher and she'd gotten the hang of it pretty quickly, though she suspected that he'd let her score some easy goals on him.  
  
She heard a faint ringing sound coming from the pocket of his leather jacket and realized it was his CIA cellphone. Vaughn had gone to return their equipment and she wasn't sure if she should answer the phone or not. It might be important, she reasoned as she reached into his pocket and pulled the phone out. On the other hand, Vaughn would have a hell of a time explaining why his former asset was answering his phone during her week off. She thus decided against answering the phone, but glanced down at the caller ID just before it stopped ringing. She wasn't sure whose name she was expecting to see on the display, but it definitely wasn't Banks, Melissa, whoever that was.  
  
Vaughn walked back over to her just as she set the phone back down on the bench. "Was that my phone?"  
  
"Yeah," she said as she picked it up and handed it to him. "It was ringing a minute ago. I didn't answer it, but I think you might have a voice mail."  
  
"Thanks. This had better not be what I think it is; I have the day off," he grumbled good-naturedly as he pressed a button and listened to the message. Sydney watched his face carefully. She knew it was none of her business, but she wanted to know who Melissa Banks was and why she was calling Vaughn. After a few moments, he turned the phone off and slipped it back into his pocket.  
  
"You don't need to return the call?" she asked expectantly.  
  
"No, it's nothing important."   
  
Sydney clenched her jaw and looked away from him. If it wasn't important enough for him to call back, the call obviously wasn't work-related, which meant that it must have been personal. And even though she knew it probably wasn't anything to be concerned about, her curiosity was getting the better of her.   
  
"Syd." Her head snapped up and she saw Vaughn staring at her with a concerned expression. It was obvious he had been trying to get her attention for the last few moments. "Are you okay? I was just asking if you were ready to go."  
  
"Oh, yeah, of course," she said absently. "Sorry, I guess I was in my own world for a minute," she said with an embarrassed smile.  
  
"It's okay." He picked up his jacket and turned to head for the exit.  
  
"Michael." He turned back around, surprised to see her still standing next to the bench. He briefly wondered what was wrong, knowing that Sydney only called him Michael when she was trying to get his attention.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Who's Melissa?"  
  
"Melissa?"  
  
"Yeah. The woman who just called. I saw her name on your caller ID."  
  
He slowly walked over to her with a serious expression on his face. "Syd, I didn't want you to find out this way," he began.  
  
"You didn't want me to find out *what*?"  
  
"I was going to explain . . . I was just waiting for the right time."  
  
"The right time?" Sydney asked incredulously. "The right time for what?"  
  
"The right time to see that little vein in your forehead explode," Vaughn laughed. "You should see the look on your face right now. If I didn't know any better, I would think that you thought I was hiding something from you."  
  
Sydney looked at the wide grin on his face and realized he was teasing her. "You jackass!" she laughed as she slapped his arm. "You did that on purpose," she accused.  
  
"Yeah, I did. You look cute when you're all fired up like that. Sydney, who do you think Melissa is? My *other* girlfriend?"  
  
"I don't know who she is, that's the problem. I was just wondering why she was calling you, that's all."  
  
"She's a colleague of mine, a friend. You weren't honestly worried, were you?"  
  
"No, of course not. I know better than to think that you'd be . . . Okay, I may have had a moment of irrational jealousy that another woman was calling you," she admitted. She shot him a dirty look as he started laughing again.  
  
"Sorry," he said as he tried to stifle his laughter. "Melissa and I were friends when I worked at Langley. She was calling because I told her last week that I would go to dinner with her sometime soon."   
  
"Dinner?" Sydney asked with a raised eyebrow.   
  
"Yes, dinner. She's thinking about transferring to the Paris field office and she wants to get my thoughts about what is was like to work there," he explained.  
  
"And she can't talk to you about in your office?" she asked, making a face. "Personally, I think she should go," she offered.  
  
"You don't even know her!" Vaughn laughed.  
  
"I know, but who wouldn't want to live in Paris? It's the opportunity of a lifetime."  
  
"And it's a long way from Virginia, right? For a spy you can be awfully transparent sometimes, Bristow. You don't care whether Melissa goes to Paris or not -- you just want her away from me, don't you?" he teased.  
  
"Of course not, Vaughn," she scowled. "So is this Melissa pretty?" she asked, feigning nonchalance.  
  
"She's attractive, but nowhere near as gorgeous as you are," he smiled as he pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her.  
  
"Great, that make me feel a lot better," she said sarcastically. "It's going to be hard enough to spend the next three months away from you without having to worry about some beautiful colleague of yours who wants to take you to dinner."  
  
"Syd, please. You know that there's nothing to worry about."  
  
"I know," she sighed. "I just hate it that there are these chunks of your life that I know nothing about. It's just frustrating sometimes."  
  
Vaughn looked down at her, understanding her frustration. By virtue of their professional relationship, he knew almost everything about her life, but there was so much that she still didn't know about his. He had an idea about how he could begin to change that, however.  
  
"Let's get out of here," he said as he grabbed her hand. "There's somewhere I want to take you."  
  
*****  
  
Sydney looked up in surprise as Vaughn turned and pulled the car through the open gates of a cemetery. He remained silent as he slowly navigated the winding drive before finally coming to a stop and turning the engine off. She looked at him questioningly, in search of an explanation, but he didn't give her one.  
  
"Come on," he said softly. They exited the car and he took her hand as he led her across the grass. They walked in silence for a few minutes until he finally stopped in front of a grey marble headstone. Sydney's breath caught in her throat when she saw "William C. Vaughn, Devoted Patriot, Husband and Father," etched into the stone.  
  
"Vaughn," she said softly.  
  
"My mom was here yesterday," he said, nodding at the yellow alstroemeria lying at the foot of the headstone. "She comes every week. I probably haven't come nearly as often as I should have since I've been here, but I've been thinking about him a lot this week."  
  
"Because of my mom," she said knowingly.  
  
"No, actually because of you. You've been here this week and you've met my mom, and I just keep thinking about how much I wish you could have met my dad too. I think he would have liked you even more than my mom does," he laughed. "Mostly because you would have reminded him so much of her."  
  
"Yeah?" she smiled.  
  
"Yes. You're both smart, beautiful and independent, strong-willed but compassionate. And you're both experts at wrapping the Vaughn men around your little fingers. That would have been enough to make him like you, but once he learned how much ass you kick in the field, he would have respected the hell out of you."  
  
She blushed and looked away for a moment before sinking onto the grass and pulling him down to sit with her. "Tell me about him."  
  
"Okay. Well, he grew up in a town about an hour away from Philadelphia. He had 3 brothers and 2 sisters and they were all really close -- they still are. He and my Uncle John both played hockey at Boston College --"  
  
"Who was the bigger hockey freak? You or your dad?" Sydney interrupted.  
  
"I think he was."  
  
"I find that hard to believe," Sydney smiled. "What made him decide that he wanted to work for the CIA?"  
  
"When he was growing up, he really wanted to go into the Air Force and become a fighter pilot, but his eyesight wasn't good enough so he couldn't. Then the Cold War started and the Cuban Missile Crisis took place while he was in college, and he saw an opportunity to serve his country in another way. He loved what he did, at least until the last couple of years before his death."  
  
"Do you think he would have stayed with the agency if he hadn't been killed?"  
  
"Yeah," Vaughn said as he plucked a piece of grass and twirled it between his fingers. "He believed in honor and duty and finishing what he started. He questioned his last few ops, but I think he always believed that he was doing whatever it took to protect his country -- at least that's what I gathered from reading his diary. He was a company guy up until the day he died, which makes me wonder how he'd feel about all the times that I've broken the rules in the past couple of years."  
  
"Since you met me," Sydney said with a knowing smile.  
  
"Yeah, you're such a bad influence on me, Syd," he smirked. "Hey, I don't regret any of the times I've broken the rules for you," he said, growing serious as he looked into her eyes. "Actually, knowing how many times my dad wanted to go against orders and didn't, I think he'd probably be happy to know that I don't have the same qualms about that that he did."  
  
"He'd be proud of you."  
  
"That's what my mom always says, and she knew him better than anyone, so I take her word for it," he shrugged.  
  
"Did she ever date again after he died?" Sydney asked curiously.  
  
"A few times here and there, but nothing serious." He grew thoughtful for a few moments. "God, it's been twenty-six years since he died. Can you imagine going that long without ever having another serious relationship?"  
  
"Actually, I can understand that. I mean, once you've been with the love of your life, I doubt that you'd want to be with anyone else; it just wouldn't be the same. If anything ever happened to you, I can't imagine that I'd want to be with anyone else after that."  
  
"Yeah, but you probably thought the same thing after Danny died."  
  
"No, not really. I didn't think that I *would* fall in love again, but I never swore to myself that I wouldn't. It would be different with you," she said as she looked down at the ground. "I was so in love with Danny, but I never felt like we were 'meant to be,' you know? I never felt like everything that ever happened in my life was leading me to him, but that's how I feel about you. I feel like I was *supposed* to find you, like we were supposed to find each other.   
  
"I imagine that's the same way your mom felt about your dad. I mean, what are the chances of meeting someone and connecting with him and then seeing him again four months later at a sidewalk cafe? That's not luck, Vaughn, it's fate. That only comes along once in a lifetime, and it can't be duplicated, so I completely understand why your mom never wanted to be with anyone else. When you were younger, did you ever wish that she'd get married again?"  
  
"Sometimes I did, mostly when I was in little league or hockey and I'd see all my teammates with their dads. But really that was less about wanting a new dad and more about just wanting to fit in with all my friends. I don't know how I would have reacted if my mom had actually married again. I don't know if I would have resented her for trying to replace my dad, or if I would have just been happy that she was happy again," he shrugged. "What about you? Was your dad ever with anyone else after your mom left?"  
  
"If he was, he hid it from me, so I have no idea." She shook her head, realizing that she couldn't remember ever seeing her father with someone other than her mother. "I don't know if my childhood would have been better or worse if I had had a stepmother. It probably would have been worse," she acknowledged. "I resented my dad and idolized my mother so much that I think I would have hated any woman who tried to take her place, which is ironic considering everything that I now know about her. It must have been so hard for my dad to let me hold on to my memories of her, to let me keep believing that she was this perfect wife and mother. Sometimes I wish he would have just told me the truth," she said ruefully.  
  
"He thought she was dead, so he probably didn't see the harm in letting you believe that she was a good person," Vaughn reasoned. "He probably realized that it would have been even harder for you to deal with her death if you had known the truth. Sometimes I forget that I wasn't the only one who lost a parent because of her," he said, looking at her meaningfully.  
  
Sydney looked back at him with surprise. "Vaughn, it's not the same thing."  
  
"Yeah it is. Whoever Laura Bristow was, she was the only mother you'd ever known, and she died in that accident. You grew up without her the same way that I grew up without my dad, and you suffered every bit as much as I did, maybe even more. At least I had a huge, supportive family; all you had were nannies. I can't imagine how lonely and isolating that must have been."  
  
"Are those violins I hear playing in the background?" Sydney cracked, desperately wanting to change the subject. "Vaughn, I don't want to talk about my mom right now. Especially not here."  
  
"Syd, it's okay to talk to me about her. Even here. We agreed that we were going to stop holding back about our parents, didn't we?"  
  
Sydney looked at him, amazed that they had actually reached this new place in their relationship where he was willing to listen to her talk about her mother, even in a place that was sacred to him. She felt her heart swell with love for him and the way he was slowly opening up to her.  
  
"Yes, we agreed," she nodded. "I just don't want to think about her right now, that's all. I want to hear more about your dad." She wrapped both of her arms around his left arm and rested her head on his shoulder. He kissed her forehead as she smiled back at him. "So tell me, what's your favorite memory of him?"  
  
"Christmas when I was six," he said almost instantly. "My dad had to leave for a mission about two weeks before Christmas, but he swore that he was going to be home in enough time to go looking for a tree and to do all the other things people do during the holidays. But the mission took longer than expected, and we weren't sure that he was going to make it home at all. So my mom and I bought the tree and decorated it ourselves, and I was so unhappy about it. Then on Christmas morning, I woke up and saw that my dad had been in my room watching me sleep the night before. I was so excited to see him, and I remember him giving me a piggyback ride downstairs, where there was this huge box next to the tree. It turned out to be a puppy."   
  
"That's so sweet," she smiled.  
  
"Yeah, it sounds just like one of those Christmas commercials, doesn't it? That's my favorite memory, definitely, but my strongest memory -- at least now -- is when he gave me his watch. At the time, I didn't think anything of it. I mean, I was eight and I was still in my 'girls suck' phase, so when he told me I could set my heart by that watch, it didn't mean a whole lot to me. In fact, I took it, stuffed it in a drawer, and didn't think twice about it, even after he died. But my mom found it one day and kept it for safe-keeping, and on the day I finished CST and officially became an agent, she gave it back to me. She told me hoe proud he would have been of me, and from that day on, I never took it off.  
  
"Then it stopped the day I met you, and I didn't even realize the significance of that until about a year later when I remembered what he told me. It was almost like he knew that I was going to meet you. Rationally, I know that he couldn't possibly have known, but I like to think that he did anyway."  
  
"Maybe he did," Sydney smiled. She knew it sounded crazy, but when she thought about all the events that had to happen in both their lives to get them to the point they were at now, it all seemed too intricate to have been an accident. Perhaps it wasn't at all.  
TBC . . . 


	19. Past Loves and True Loves

Hi everyone!   
  
My inner smut demon got a hold of this chapter, so there's an NC-17 version, which can be found at . (The web address isn't visible when I preview this, so if you can't see it, just leave me a review letting me know you want a link to the smut, and I'll send it to you).  
  
As always, I want to thank all of you who have been reading and reviewing this story. I can't believe that I'm still writing it frankly, but I think it's about two-thirds done. Anyway, I really appreciate all your kind comments, so thanks!  
  
Chapter 19: "Past Loves and True Loves"  
Vaughn watched in mesmerized silence as Sydney's body rose and fell with each breath she took while she slept. She looked so peaceful and relaxed, so unlike the Sydney he'd seen day in and day out for the past year and a half. He loved it that they were both so much more relaxed when they were together, but he knew that it wouldn't last. She wasn't even gone yet, and he could already feel himself reverting back to his insomniac ways. At least tonight, though, he wasn't being kept awake by worry and anxiety over her safety; instead, he was being kept awake by the simple desire to watch her, to commit to memory every detail about her for the long nights ahead when she wouldn't be laying next to him. He stifled a yawn and knew that he should go to sleep, but he fought the urge to do so. He didn't want to take his eyes off of her for even a few minutes.  
  
He propped himself up on his elbow, supporting his head with his hand as he continued to watch her. He smiled softly when she started talking in her sleep and he wished that just once, he could be inside one of her dreams to see what she was seeing.  
  
"Vaughn," she murmured.   
  
His smile grew as he realized that what she was apparently seeing in her dreams right now was him. He was dying to know what was happening in her dream as she whispered his name once again. He gently placed his free hand on her hip, simply wanting to touch her and feel her there with him while he still could. She instantly stirred in response to his touch, and her eyes fluttered open as she gave him a fuzzy smile.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," he whispered.  
  
"It's okay. What's wrong? Can't you sleep?"  
  
He shrugged. "I don't feel much like sleeping right now."  
  
She shook her head and looked over his shoulder at the alarm clock. "Vaughn, it's 3:30 in the morning," she laughed quietly. "What do you feel like doing at this hour? Going to play hockey?"  
  
"That's a thought, but no," he smiled. "I don't want to do anything. I was just enjoying watching you sleep."  
  
"Why? Was I talking again?" she asked self-consciously.  
  
"Yeah. Actually, you were whispering my name. I don't suppose you remember what you were dreaming about, do you?"  
  
"Not a clue, but I could probably guess," she smiled. "How long have you been awake?" she asked as she rubbed her eyes and opened them wider.   
  
"Half an hour, I guess."  
  
"You've been watching me sleep for half an hour?" she asked incredulously. "Vaughn I could not have possibly been that entertaining."  
  
"Yes, you were." He moved closer to her and laid his head on her shoulder. "You're gorgeous, even in your sleep."  
  
She reached up to smooth the hair that she knew was probably standing all over her head by now. "You must be really in love with me to say something like that and mean it."  
  
"I am," he smiled as he wrapped his arm around her waist and held her closer. She kissed the top of his head, and realized that moments like this one were what she was going to miss the most when she went back home.  
  
"Hey, Vaughn?" she asked softly.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"How many times have you been in love?"  
  
"Including you? Once."  
  
"Seriously? What about Alice? Weren't you in love with her?"  
  
"Honestly? I don't know," he said as he traced circles on her stomach. "I definitely know that I'm in love with you, but being with her never felt like this. So does that mean that I was never in love with her, or does it just mean that if I was, it felt different than being in love with you?"  
  
"How did I get sucked into an episode of 'Deep Thoughts with Michael Vaughn'?" she laughed. "Um, I think it would have felt different, because you love people in different ways. I mean, I was definitely in love with Danny, but it didn't feel like being with you."  
  
"I guess," Vaughn said thoughtfully. "I don't think I was ever in love with Alice, though. I loved her and I thought she was a good person, but I never felt like I *had* to be with her all the time, you know? I never would have broken into the Vatican just to impress her, that's for sure" he grinned.  
  
"So *that's* why you did that!" she laughed. "So if you were never sure that you were in love with Alice, how do you know that you're in love with me?"  
  
"The same way I know I'm alive," he said simply. "It's not something I have to think about."  
  
She tried to fight the smile spreading across her face, to no avail. Somehow, he always knew the perfect thing to say to her; it was like a gift.   
  
"When was the first time you realized you were in love with me?" she asked as she lightly stroked the length of his arm.  
  
"When Noah came back into your life," he said, without hesitation. Just hearing those words made her body tense up as she thought about the effect Noah had had on their relationship. She suddenly realized that they hadn't discussed him at all since the days immediately following his death.  
  
"Vaughn,"  
  
"Did you love him?" Vaughn asked curiously.  
  
She was taken aback by his question and felt vaguely uncomfortable talking to him about her ex-lover. "I was really young when Noah and I were involved," she said dismissively. She grew quiet and he waited for her to continue, sensing that she hadn't said everything she was going to.   
  
"Actually, I did love him once," she admitted. "If I hadn't, it wouldn't have hurt so much when he left or when he died or when I found out the truth about who he really was. It hurt to realize that I could have been so wrong about him. But what hurt worse was that way I almost jeopardized my relationship with you for him. I was surprised that you could still even look at me after that."  
  
"Why would you say that?" Vaughn asked, looking at her with surprise. "It's not like we had a relationship and you were cheating on me."  
  
"We *did* have a relationship," she corrected him. "It might not have been a romantic one, but it was still more than friendship, and I should have known that. But I didn't even really realize the extent of it until I came back from Arkhangelsk. I saw the look in your eyes and I knew how much I hurt you. I never apologized to you for that, but if I could go back and change everything that happened, I would. In a heartbeat, Vaughn."  
  
"I know, but I don't think I'd want you to. Like I said, that's what made me realize how I really felt about you. That day in the warehouse felt like being kicked in the gut, and that's how I knew that what I was feeling was more than a crush."  
  
Sydney sighed in frustration that Vaughn was being his usual understanding self about Noah. Sometimes she felt so unworthy of his devotion to her, even though she knew she returned it to him.   
  
"Vaughn, I know you don't need an explanation, but I just want you to know that nothing that happened with Noah had anything to do with you. It's just that I was so hell-bent on finding my mother and my dad didn't want me to, and you couldn't help me. So much was going on and Noah was offering me the chance to run away from all of it, and for a few brief moments, I thought that he could give me what I needed. I didn't realize until I saw you again and you put that ice pack on my hand that I already had what I needed." She stroked his cheek tenderly and silently cursed herself for having ever been so foolish. She could have potentially lost Vaughn before she'd even had him.  
  
"Syd," he started. He wanted to make sure she knew that Noah wasn't an issue between them anymore, but she put her fingers to his lips to quiet him.  
  
"You always give me what I need, Vaughn. You have since the day I met you."  
  
"I want to give you everything that you *want,* too," he said huskily, placing a soft kiss on her neck. "Just tell me what you want, and I'll give you everything, Sydney."  
  
She knew that he meant that, but all she really wanted was him. There were other things, of course, secondary things -- a house, kids, romantic weekend getaways -- but she could live without all of those things as long as she had him.   
  
"You spend too much time concentrating on what I want, Vaughn. What do *you* want?"  
  
He sighed and raised himself into a sitting position. "I want you to stay with me and not leave tomorrow."  
  
She half-laughed, half-groaned. "Of course you want the one thing I can't give you. Why don't we stick to the things that I *can* give you," she suggested as as she straddled his lap and intertwined one hand with his.  
  
"You know it's not my style to look a gift horse in the mouth," he grinned. He brushed her hair from her shoulders and hooked a finger through one of the thin straps of her silk nightie. "You know what I want right now? I want to know everything there is to know about Sydney Bristow."  
  
"Everything? Well that should take about 20 minutes," she smirked. "Vaughn, it would take me two days just to tell you about everything that happened the year after my mom died. There's no way you can get the full Sydney Bristow story in a matter of hours."  
  
"Don't worry," he said as he kissed her shoulder. "I'll keep my questions narrowly focused."  
  
"What does *that* mean? Can I plead the Fifth if I don't want to answer?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"So what, is this like Truth or Dare?"  
  
"I guess, except without the 'dare' part."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"What's the point of daring someone as fearless as you?" he grinned. "Besides," he said as he traced the curve of her jaw, "what's more dangerous to a spy than telling the truth?"  
  
Sydney smiled at his logic. He had a point, she had to admit.  
  
"The truth, huh? Can you *handle* the truth?" she teased.  
  
"I guess we'll see, won't we? Okay, first question. Who was the first boy you ever kissed?"  
  
She laughed and thought about it for a few seconds. "First kiss or first *real* kiss?"  
  
"Both," he smiled.  
  
"Well, my first kiss was when I was six. Jeremy Reece was chasing me during a game of hide and go seek. He found me before I wanted him to, so I kissed him and threatened to tell his friends about it so I wouldn't have to be 'it'. Needless to say, he didn't tell anyone that he found me," she laughed. "My first real kiss was Mason Peters in seventh grade, during a really unfortunate game of 'Spin the Bottle.'"   
  
"Was it that bad?" Vaughn asked when he saw her cringing at the memory.  
  
"It was *so* bad! Mason was such a bad kisser, and since it was my first real kiss, I didn't know to expect any better. He almost made me want to swear off of kissing forever."  
  
"Thank god you changed your mind about that," he grinned as he leaned forward and help her erase the memory of Mason Peters.   
  
"I had to work my way up to the good kissers, I guess. So tell me about your first kiss."  
  
"Hey, *I'm* the one asking the questions here."  
  
"Excuse me? You think that you can hear all of my stories without telling some of your own? Uh-uh, Vaughn. If we're going to play, we're going to play fairly," she reprimanded him.  
  
"Okay, fine. Let's see, first kiss . . . oh, Veronica Webster, how could I forget? She was the first girl who ever got to see the Vaughn basement," he laughed.  
  
"The pioneer, huh? The trailblazer," she snickered.  
  
"Yeah. I was 15 and we were working on a science project in the basement one day after school. I bent down to pick up our model of Jupiter, and when I raised back up, she was kissing me."  
  
"Just like that?" Sydney asked disbelievingly.  
  
"Yep. Just like that."  
  
"You were so irresistible that she just started kissing you out of nowhere?"  
  
"I've been known to have that effect on women. You should know that better than anyone."  
  
"You've got me there," she smiled. "You know, in the whole time that we were at your mom's house for dinner, you never took me to see the basement. I'm kind of insulted," she said with a mock pout.  
  
"Syd, you're way too good for the basement; you deserve the penthouse," he said with a soft smile. "So, who was the first guy you ever slept with?"  
  
She drew back and looked him in the eye. "Are you sure you want to hear all the sordid details about the guys who came before you?"  
  
"Sure. I intend to be the last, so now I want to know about the first."  
  
"Rob McKay, the night of my high school graduation. There was a big party at the beach, and we snuck away for a while, and by the time we returned, my virginity had gone out to sea with the tide," she said with an embarrassed smile.   
  
"I hope it was a better experience than your first kiss," Vaughn said wryly.  
  
"It was. It was actually kind of nice, romantic even. It could've been a lot worse. I believe it's your turn now," she said with a pointed look.  
  
He looked down at the bed sheets and smiled at the memory. "Abby Leonard. She lived next door to my grandparents in Pennsylvania. Mom and I were there for Christmas one year and she was home from college. She hung out with me and my cousins for a few days and one thing led to another. Her family moved the next summer and I never saw her again, but she taught me a lot in a week," he laughed.  
  
"How old were you?"  
  
"I was 16. She was 19."  
  
"Ooh, an older woman," Sydney teased. "She was kind of desperate, wasn't she?"  
  
"What makes you say that?  
  
"Come on, Vaughn. You were, what? A sophomore in high school?" He nodded. "And she was a freshman in college?"  
  
"Actually, she was a sophomore."  
  
"That's even worse! Unless she went to a girls' college, coming home and sleeping with a high school guy carries the faint whiff of desperation. Actually, it's not that faint," she added with a laugh. "Anyway, let's move past desperate Abby. How many women have you been with?"  
  
"It's not your turn again," Vaughn protested. "Was that big speech about playing fairly?"  
  
"All's fair in love and war," she grinned, "So stop stalling, and answer the question, Mr. Vaughn."  
  
He was silent for a few moments as he thought about it. "Including college?"  
  
"Including college," she nodded.  
  
"Well that just made it harder," he smiled. "No, I'm kidding. Let's see . . . including you, nine."  
  
"Nine," Sydney said contemplatively. "That's not bad; I was expecting worse."  
  
He rolled his eyes. "I'm not even going to ask what you meant by that. So what about you?"  
  
"Four, and that includes you."  
  
"Really? That's all?"  
  
"What are you trying to say, Vaughn? Do you wish I'd slept with more men?"  
  
"No, I didn't mean . . . I didn't mean anything by that. Forget that I said anything."  
  
"I will." She moved her hands and raked them lightly over his stomach, smiling when she felt him tense under her fingers. "So . . . I'm probably going to hate myself for asking this, but was Melissa one of the nine?"  
  
"Melissa?" Vaughn asked with surprise. "No. What would make you think that?"  
  
"Just wondering. You didn't really say a lot about her the other day, so my overactive imagination has been filling in the gaps."  
  
"Oh god," Vaughn groaned into her shoulder. "Do I even want to know what kind of things you've been thinking in that beautiful head of yours?"  
  
"Probably not," she grinned, "but I'm assuming that she was attracted to you. I mean, look at you. She would have had to have been crazy to not be attracted to you. So was it mutual?"  
  
"Yes, it was mutual," Vaughn admitted. "But nothing ever came of it and we never moved past the innocent flirtation stage."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I guess we just weren't meant to," he shrugged. "I mean, we certainly had the opportunity, but for one reason or another, we never took it."  
  
"A fact that she now regrets, I'm sure." A look of recognition flickered across Vaughn's face and she knew that she was right. "Oh my god. Did she *tell* you that?"  
  
"Yeah, she did," he said uncomfortably, "but she knows that ship has sailed."  
  
"Yeah, it has," Sydney said matter-of-factly.  
  
"Yes. It has," Vaughn said, emphasizing each word and punctuating them with kisses to her forehead, nose, and mouth. "Syd, you're not seriously concerned about Melissa, are you?"  
  
"No, I'm not," she said honestly. "I'm just curious about her, the same way you were about Noah. I just don't want her to be *your* Noah," she said with a wry smile.  
  
"There's no chance of that, ever," he assured her. "I'm slavishly devoted to you, Miss Bristow," he murmured as his lips found her neck again.  
  
"Really? I'd like to take your word for that, but I'm gonna need some evidence," she said playfully.  
  
"I can give you all the evidence you need," he said with a sexy grin that made her heart race.   
  
*****  
  
Vaughn leaned back against the headboard and Sydney slumped against him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He rested his forehead against hers in sated exhaustion as they both struggled to catch their breath. A blissful smile spread across her face until she heard him choke out her name, and she opened her eyes and looked at him with concern.   
  
"Vaughn?" she asked as she pulled back and lovingly wiped the sweat from his brow. "Baby, what's wrong?" The look on his face was so intense that his eyes appeared to be glowing black in the darkness of the room.  
  
"Promise me," he said urgently, "promise me that you'll be safe and careful until I see you again, Sydney. Promise me that you won't let anything happen to yourself, because I can't live without you. I can't lose you. I need you so much," he whispered as he placed soft kisses all over her face. His almost desperate concern for her brought tears to her eyes and nearly broke her heart.  
  
"I promise," she assured him as she held him tighter. "I promise. I love you so much, Vaughn." As soon as she said the words, she knew that they were a lie, because love didn't begin to describe what she felt for him at that moment. What she felt was so much stronger than love that it caused her actual, physical pain to see him look so fearful at the thought of something happening to her. She nestled her head in the crook of his arm and shoulder and lightly stroked his stomach.  
  
"I promise you'll never lose me."   
  
He kissed her forehead, closed his eyes, and prayed to God that she was right.  
  
*****  
  
Later that morning, Sydney smiled across the room at Vaughn as she slipped a cream-colored cashmere sweater over a matching tank top. "Stop looking at me like that," she warned.  
  
"Like what?"   
  
"Like you know what a lie this outfit is."  
  
Vaughn laughed. "It is very . . . demure," he said, trying to to find the right word.  
  
"That's intentional," she grinned.   
  
Elise was stopping by before Sydney left for the airport, and she'd intentionally chosen the most innocent looking outfit she could find amongst her clothes. She knew she was going to have a hard time looking Elise in the face after some of the things she and Vaughn had been doing until just a few hours ago. Just thinking about it made her simultaneously blush and grin like a loon. Apparently, she wasn't the only one, she realized as she looked over her shoulder at Vaughn. Whatever concern he had briefly had about her safety had become an afterthought once he started touching her again.   
  
"Sorry that I woke you up last night."  
  
"Liar. I'm not sorry."  
  
"You didn't get much sleep."  
  
"I'll sleep on the plane," she shrugged.  
  
"I can never do that."  
  
"It's usually not a problem for me, and it *definitely* won't be today. I'm more than a little exhausted," she smiled.  
  
"I can't imagine why," he smirked just as the doorbell rang. "Hey, can you go ahead and get that? I'm going to bring your suitcase down."  
  
"Okay." She hurried down the stairs and already had a wide smile on her face by the time she opened the door. "Elise! Please, come in."  
  
"Good morning, Sydney," Elise smiled as she stepped inside the townhouse. "Good morning to you too, Donovan," she laughed as the little dog excitedly jumped up and down in front of her. "I'm sure you're going to miss this one slobbering all over you when you go back home."  
  
"Actually, I am. I'm going to miss everything about being here," she said with a sad smile. It had been an amazing week, one in which she'd begun to feel so much a part of Vaughn's life. It was going to make it that much harder to be cut off from him for the next three months.   
  
"Hey, Mom," Vaughn said as he entered the foyer and set Sydney's bags down.  
  
"Hi sweetheart." She kissed him on the cheek and Sydney couldn't help but notice the way that her whole face lit up from the sight of him. She suddenly realized that one of the things she would miss the most was being a witness to the closeness between Vaughn and Elise. Never having been close to either of her parents, she loved the fact that Vaughn had such a good relationship with his mother.  
  
Elise took Sydney's hand as they walked into the living room and both sat on the couch. Vaughn sat on the armrest next to Sydney and smiled sympathetically when he saw the hint of sadness in his mother's eyes.   
  
"So," Elise said to Vaughn, "I know you must be devastated to see this gorgeous girl go home."  
  
"Yeah, I am, but at least I know she'll be there waiting for me when I get back." Sydney smiled up at him as he squeezed her shoulder. "You look a little saddened by the prospect too, Mom."  
  
"I am," she admitted. "It's been so wonderful meeting you, Sydney, and seeing how happy Michael is. I wish you didn't have to go so I could see him smile like that all the time."  
  
"Trust me, no one wishes I could stay more than I do. This week has been incredible. It's going to be hard to wake up tomorrow and realize it's in the rearview mirror."  
  
"Well, I hope you have lots of nice memories to take back with you."  
  
"I do, definitely."  
  
Vaughn looked at Sydney and his mother and could sense that they wanted a few minutes alone with each other. "Hey, I'm going to go call for your cab. I'll be back in a few minutes."  
  
"Thanks." Sydney smiled at him gratefully before turning her attention back to Elise. "Elise, I just wanted to thank you for how wonderful you've been to me since I got here. I can't even tell you how nervous I was about meeting you, but you've just been nicer to me than I could have ever imagined. Michael isn't the only one I'm going to miss when I leave."  
  
"Oh, Sydney. You don't have to thank me for anything. I should be thanking you for restoring my faith in Michael's judgment," she laughed. "Seriously, I couldn't have enjoyed getting to know you any more than I did, and I hope that we'll get to spend lots more time together in the future."  
  
"Me too. Elise, I feel kind of funny asking you this, because you're his mother and I know that you would anyway," Sydney said hesitantly, "but can you just take care of him for me? I hate the thought that it's going to be so long before I see him again, but I'll feel better knowing that he's not alone here."  
  
"Of course I will," Elise said sweetly. "I'll keep a close eye on him."  
  
"Thanks, I appreciate that," Sydney smiled.  
  
"What are the two of you smiling about?" Vaughn asked as he walked back in the room.  
  
"Oh, nothing, dear. I was just promising Sydney that I would keep you in one piece until you get back to L.A.," she said as she looked at her watch and rose from the couch. "Well, I'm sure your cab will be here soon, and I know the two of you need some time alone before you leave, so I'm going to go." She wrapped Sydney in a tight hug. "You take care of yourself until the next time I see you, okay?"  
  
"I will, Elise. Thank you so much for everything this week."  
  
"You're more than welcome. Have a safe trip back."  
  
Sydney nodded and tried to fight the lump growing in her throat. She hadn't realized how hard it would be to say good bye to Elise. She and Vaughn walked her to the door and waved as she got in her car and drove away. She quickly turned and headed back inside as Vaughn followed behind her, watching her closely.  
  
"Syd, are you crying?"  
  
She laughed softly and brushed a few stray tears from her eyes. "No, I'm not crying, but so what if I was? I'm allowed to be emotional about saying good bye to your mom, aren't I?"  
  
"Yeah, of course you are," he smiled understandingly. "Just don't cry when you say good bye to me, okay? Because, honestly, I won't be able to take it if you do."  
  
"I can't promise you that I won't," she smiled. "You know that it doesn't take much to make me cry."  
  
"Fine. But you can't cry if you're busy doing other things," he grinned as he pulled her into his arms and started to kiss her. Unlike their passionate, lust-filled kisses earlier that morning, this time they exchanged soft, gentle kisses filled with longing and hope for when they could be together again.   
  
He took her hands in his and held them to his chest as they broke apart. "Just think, in 94 days, we're going to be alone together in the middle of nowhere."  
  
"94 days," she groaned. "That sounds like such a long time."  
  
"It'll pass before you know it," he said trying to sound convincing though the sadness in his eyes betrayed his true emotions. "I'm going to miss you so much, Syd."  
  
"Me too," she whispered as she leaned in to kiss him again. This time, the kiss was interrupted by a honking horn and they both sighed with resignation. They would have had more time together if Vaughn could have drive her to the airport, but they'd both agreed that it was smarter for her to take a cab. She followed him outside as he carried her suitcase and placed it in the trunk.  
  
She opened the rear passenger-side door and threw her things on the seat before pulling Vaughn back in for one last kiss. "I love you," she whispered in his ear.  
  
"I love you, too. Have a safe trip back and remember what you promised me last night."  
  
"I will," she said, forcing a smile in spite of her heavy heart. She quickly stroked his face and turned to get in the cab. Just before she got in, Vaughn grabbed her wrist and turned her back to face him.  
  
"Wait a minute," he said softly. She glanced down at his hand on her wrist and back up at his twinkling eyes. "There's something I want to ask you."  
  
She looked back at him in surprise. Surely he wasn't about to ask her what she though he was, was he? Here? And now?  
  
"What?" she asked breathlessly.  
  
He ducked his head down for a moment and looked back at her with a boyish grin. "I just wanted to ask you, are you still mad at me?"  
  
She laughed before she could even stop herself. She had a feeling that this was going to be a running joke between them for the rest of their lives.  
  
"Furious," she said with a dimpled grin. "I'm just waiting until the next time we see each other to take all my anger out on you," she whispered in his ear before getting in the cab.  
  
He smiled down at her and blew her a kiss as the cab slowly pulled away from the curb. He couldn't wait to find out in a few months just how angry she really was.  
TBC . . . 


	20. Unpacking

Chapter 20: "Unpacking"  
After turning off the television in the living room, Vaughn trudged upstairs and entered his bedroom without bothering to turn on the lights. He flopped down onto the bed with a heavy sigh and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before reaching out and pulling one of the pillows to him. It was the same pillow Sydney had used during her stay, and as he inhaled deeply, he realized that it still smelled like her. He held it closer and wrapped his arms around it, burying his face into it and closing his eyes. She'd only been gone for eight hours, and already, he missed her desperately. The past week hadn't been the first time that they'd spent time alone with each other, but it was the first time that he'd gotten a taste of what it would be like to completely share his life with her and he hadn't been at all prepared for how empty he'd feel once it was over.  
  
He had to admit that he had been completely spoiled by having Sydney there for the last nine days. Coming home to her every day after work had been like a dream come true, and he could barely believe how good it felt just to hold her when he got inside the door. For anyone else, sharing the details of his day with her over dinner might not have been a big deal, but it had meant the world to him. He had reveled all the normal, everyday things that most couples take for granted -- going for jogs, brushing their teeth at the same time, watching television together -- and he knew that she had enjoyed it too. She was so amazing at what she did that he couldn't imagine her ever settling for a boring 9 to 5 job, but he knew that there was a part of her that longed for normalcy and domesticity, and when he was with her, he wanted those same things too.  
  
He knew that normalcy and domesticity were the last things awaiting her back in L.A., however. Instead, she'd be going back to her isolated, shadowy double life, and it pained him knowing that he wouldn't be there to give her the emotional support she needed to deal with that life. Worse than that, he felt a physically ache knowing that he wouldn't be able to see or touch her for the next three months. After having her all to himself for more than a week, the void in his life now that she was gone seemed impossible to fill, and it almost scared him to realize how much he needed her and what a huge part of his life she had become.  
  
He let out another loud sigh and was momentarily startled when he felt a vibrating sensation in his pants. He reached into his pocket to pull out his cellphone and answered it without looking at the caller ID.  
  
"Vaughn here."  
  
"Bristow, here," he heard a teasing voice reply.  
  
"Syd?"  
  
"No, Jack," she laughed. "Of course it's me. I know you said that I didn't have to, but I just wanted to let you know that I got home safely."  
  
"I'm so glad that you did call. I've been watching CNN for the last six hours, praying not to hear about any plane crashes or shootings at LAX," he laughed. "Everything's okay?" he asked, closing his eyes again and letting the sound of her voice wash over him.  
  
"Yeah, everything's fine except that I miss you already. What did you do to me?"  
  
"You were there. Surely you haven't forgotten already." His low, seductive voice sent a tingle down her spine and heat racing through her body.   
  
"I don't mean physically," she smiled as she sat down on the floor next to her bed. "I just . . . I never thought that I'd ever meet someone that I wanted to be with *all* the time, like every minute of the day. It makes me nervous," she admitted. "I just never pictured myself as the kind of needy woman who couldn't stand to be away from her boyfriend. I'm not turning into that woman, am I?" she asked with genuine concern.  
  
"Of course not. 'Needy' is the last word I'd ever use to describe you, Syd. Besides, it's not just you. I'm currently laying on my bed, curled up with your pillow because it still smells like you. If that's not pathetic, I don't know what is," he said wryly.  
  
"Aw, I think it's sweet, and at least you have something there to remind you of me. I don't have anything of yours here," she sighed. She glanced down at the diamond pendant around her neck and realized that she did have a small piece of him with her, but she wanted so much more.  
  
"You have my heart," he offered. "You took it back to L.A. with you"  
  
"I know," she said with a soft smile. "But that's not going to keep me warm at night. At least you have Donovan to curl up with."   
  
"Lucky me," he laughed. "Syd, after sleeping next to you for the last week, Donovan is a very poor substitute, believe me. I'd do anything to have you back here with me right now."  
  
"And I'd do anything to be back." She glanced at her clock and noticed that it was almost 9:00, which meant that it was nearing midnight on the east coast. "Vaughn, aren't you tired? If you need to go to sleep, I'll understand."  
  
"No. I don't know when I'm going to get the chance to talk to you again, and I'm not ready to say goodbye yet."  
  
His words sent a thrill through her, but she was trying her damnedest to be unselfish and practical. "I know, but it might not be very smart for us to stay on the phone for too long."  
  
"I don't care," he said stubbornly. Besides, our phones are encrypted. We're fine."  
  
"You don't care? Okay, who are you, and what have you done with the ultra-protective, ultra-cautious Michael Vaughn that I know?" she teased.   
  
"He's still here, he's just bound and gagged in the closet. I'm his smarter, sexier twin."  
  
"Smarter, maybe, but sexier? I don't think that's possible." She didn't think it was legal, either, as she remembered some of the things he'd done to her while she was with him. Then again, she had put her own skills to good use as well. Maybe they could share a cell together, she thought with a giggle.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
"Nothing," she stammered when she realized that he'd caught her laughing outloud.  
  
"You're lying," Vaughn grinned. He could almost picture the sheepish smile on her face right now. "What were you thinking about?"  
  
"I was just thinking about some of our, uh, activities last week. I'm pretty sure some of them might be illegal in some of your more backwoods jurisdictions."  
  
"Well, lock me up and throw away the key, Officer Bristow. I'm willing to do the time."  
  
"God knows you were more than willing to do the crime," she laughed. "I never would have guessed that you had that in you when we first started working together. You were so 'Dudley Do-Right' when we first met."  
  
"Dudley Do-Right? You're joking, right?"  
  
"Nope," she grinned. "You were Mr. By-the-Book and you know it."  
  
"Yeah? Well, I thought you were totally frigid when we first met. No, actually, I take that back," he laughed. "When we first met, I thought you were crazy. The second time we met in the bloodmobile, I thought you were a huge brat. I didn't actually think you were frigid until you turned down my offer for a Slush-O at the convenience store."  
  
"Of course I was frigid after standing in front of that cooler for so long!" she laughed. "And I'm sorry that I turned down your precious Slush-O. I know how much you love them and I -- wait, you thought I was a brat?" she asked suddenly.  
  
"You were! 'Do I look like I'm wearing headgear?'" he mocked.  
  
She blushed, remembering what a huge fool she'd made of herself that day. "God, I can't believe you remember that conversation," she cringed.  
  
"I remember every word you've ever said to me, Syd. It was my job," he said lightly.  
  
"Yeah, but you didn't do it because it was your job," she said softly.  
  
"You're right. I did it mostly in hopes of getting you into bed one day."  
  
"Vaughn!" she said with a mock indignation.  
  
"It worked, didn't it?" he laughed.   
  
"Too well, apparently. I should have known that you had an ulterior motive for being so sweet, not that you needed one."  
  
"I know, right? I swear, the minute you got me alone in Lake Tahoe, you were all over me," he smirked.   
  
"*I* was all over *you*? Actually, I kind of was, wasn't I?" she said, after thinking about it for a moment. "Well, I couldn't help it. I wanted you, and I had already waited too long to tell you, and you were too busy being a gentleman to make the first move, so I had to."  
  
"I'm just glad that you did. I honestly can't remember what my life was like before that night. I don't ever want to have to remember," he said earnestly.  
  
"You say that now," she teased, "but spend a few more years with me, Vaughn, and you might end up begging to go back to life Before Sydney."  
  
"Not a chance. I already told you, you're stuck with me, Bristow."  
  
"Then I guess it's a good thing that I like you and want to keep you around, isn't it?"  
  
"Definitely a good thing," Vaughn grinned as he kicked off his shoes and got more comfortable on the bed. "Definitely. Hey, you haven't unpacked yet, have you?"  
  
"Vaughn, please," she scoffed. "You know me better than that. You just watched me spend the last nine days living out of my suitcase."  
  
"You're hopeless, Sydney," he shook his head. When we go to the Maldives, I'm going to force you to unpack."  
  
"Why? So I can be all neat and orderly like you?" she teased.  
  
"It wouldn't hurt. When we were in Tahoe, you told me that you grew accustomed to living out of your suitcase because all your SD-6 missions were so short, right?"  
  
"Yes," she smiled. God, he really did remember every conversation they'd ever had.  
  
"Well, unpacking while we're on vacation will be like a symbolic start to your new, post-SD-6 life, don't you think? Actually, that's just an excuse. I just really want to see your clothes hanging next to mine in the closet," he admitted. "That'll just make everything seem more real somehow."  
  
Just the thought of that gave Sydney butterflies, and she wondered how something so mundane and insignificant could excite her so much. "Okay, then. When we get settled in our room, I'll let you instruct me on the fine art of unpacking."  
  
"I can't wait. Do you want a few pointers now?"  
  
"No!" she laughed. "I am *not* unpacking right now. I'm way too tired for that."  
  
"But I think you should."  
  
"Why?" she asked suspiciously.  
  
"Because I'm missing a few things from here and I think they might've ended up in your suitcase." She could hear the smile in his voice and it made her whole body tingle with excitement.  
  
"Vaughn, what did you do?"  
  
"Do?" he asked, feigning ignorance. "I didn't do anything."  
  
"Right," she said disbelievingly as she quickly unzipped her suitcase. As soon as she opened it, she found a square, cream-colored envelope laying on top of her clothes. She picked it up and ran her fingers across the fancy, textured surface, and when she turned it over, she noticed fancy gold lettering in one corner that said. "EV." "What's in the envelope?" she asked, hoping for a hint.  
  
"Actually, I don't know. My mom's responsible for that. She asked me to sneak it in with your things, and made me swear not to open it."  
  
"You've got to love a man who keeps his promises to his mother," she laughed as she carefully opened the envelope. The first thing she removed was a handwritten note on matching stationary: "Sydney, I thought you might like to have these. - Elise."   
  
Sydney picked the envelope up from her lap and reached inside, pulling out a rectangular object wrapped in tissue paper. When she unwrapped the paper, she found a stack of pictures of Vaughn in various stages of growing up. She gasped in surprise and awe that Elise would willingly part with all of those memories so she could have them. "Oh my gosh," she whispered as she began to look through all the photographs.   
  
"What is it?" Vaughn asked.  
  
"Blackmail material," she grinned when she came across a picture of him running naked around the house as a toddler.   
  
"Oh god, not pictures of me," he groaned.  
  
"A *ton* of pictures of you. I'm loving your mom a ridiculous amount right now, Vaughn."  
  
"I'm glad someone is," he muttered. "I'll have to have a little chat with her tomorrow."  
  
"No, don't you dare! I can't believe she did something so sweet. Wow," she said under her breath as she found one picture of him playing flag football without a shirt on. It looked to have been taken while he was in law school, judging by the Georgetown Law t-shirts being worn by some of the other players. "Your mom is my new hero."  
  
"I'll be sure to tell her you said so," he smiled. "Okay, I know you're enthralled by those awful pictures right now, but there's something else in there for you. Something from me," he added.  
  
"Okay, okay," she smiled as she reluctantly set the pictures down and went back to looking through her suitcase. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw green fabric peeking out from between two pairs of jeans. She reached down and grasped the soft material in her hands, fingering the edge of one sleeve before pulling on it. "Vaughn, you didn't," she murmured.  
  
"I did. I wanted you to have it."  
  
She looked down at the green Dartmouth Hockey sweatshirt in her lap and smiled. She brought it up to her nose and realized that it smelled just like he did every morning when he returned from walking Donovan. "But it's your favorite," she protested.  
  
"All the more reason for you to have it. Now you have something of mine there with you, and after the winters in New Hampshire, I can promise that it will keep you warm at night," he smiled.  
  
"Vaughn, you're amazing. It would take a plastic surgeon to remove the smile from my face right now," she said with a happy sigh. "Thank you. I promise I'll take good care of it until I can give it back to you."  
  
"I may not want it back, Syd. I'm going to have some really nice dreams tonight, imagining how it looks on you."  
  
"You have to come home soon so you can see for yourself," she said softly. "I love you, Vaughn."  
  
"I love you too, beautiful."  
  
*****  
  
Sydney had an extra bounce in her step the next morning as she walked down a hall in the ops center. She and Vaughn had stayed up talking to each other until 10:30, when she'd finally forced him to hang up and go to sleep. A short while later, she herself had fallen into bed, exhausted, but happy. The effect he had on her was amazing, and she knew that anyone who had seen her just two weeks ago would barely recognize a smiling, happy Sydney Bristow. Sylvia had said as much to her at the end of their briefing a few minutes earlier. As she passes dour CIA agent after dour CIA agent, she knew that for the sake of professionalism, she should wipe the silly grin off of her face, but she couldn't bring herself to actually do it.  
  
"I see someone had a good time last week," she heard a voice from behind her say.  
  
"Weiss!" she beamed, giving him a big hug when she turned around. "How are you?"  
  
"I'm good, but not as great as you, apparently," he smiled. "You're practically floating down the hallway, Sydney."  
  
"I know," she said as they fell in step together. "I guess a little time off can do that for a girl."  
  
"Yeah, that and a lot of sex," he smirked. "How's Mike? Tired, I presume."  
  
"Very," she giggled as she playfully elbowed him in the ribs. "Vaughn is wonderful. He said to tell you hi, even though I know you guys talk almost every day."  
  
"I'm surprised he could still remember my name after you got done with him. Actually, I'm surprised he could still remember his *own* name."  
  
Sydney rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Okay, Weiss, we're officially done talking about my sex life now," she smiled.  
  
"Sorry, sorry. I'm just living vicariously through the two of you right now, that's all."  
  
"Then we're gonna have to find you a girl, aren't we?"  
  
"Uh, no. First of all, present company excluded, I don't trust Mike's taste. And besides, I don't want *a* girl, I want lots of them."  
  
"Pig," Sydney teased as they entered the rotunda and saw Jack waiting for her.  
  
"Oink, oink," Weiss laughingly replied. "Hey, I'll catch up with you later, okay?"  
  
"Alright. Bye Eric," she smiled as he scrambled away. "Hi Dad." She impulsively gave him a quick hug and smiled when he actually returned it in full view of all the agents around them. "If you're not careful, people are going to start thinking you're going soft, Dad," she said in a low voice.  
  
"Then I'll have to show them otherwise," he deadpanned. "You look . . . spirited. I take it that your visit with Vaughn went well."  
  
"It did, despite your objections," she smiled.  
  
"I was merely concerned for your safety, Sydney. I certainly hope that the two of you were careful about being seen together."  
  
Sydney sighed. "We were. We didn't go anywhere together where there were lots of other people around." She glanced away from him and bit her lip, bracing herself for the reaction that was sure to follow her next statement. "But, um, you should probably know that I met his mother."  
  
"You what?! Sydney, did you and Vaughn lose your minds? No one can know that the two of you are seeing each other. I'm sure it was a very romantic gesture on Vaughn's part to introduce you to his mother, but he should have been smarter," Jack blustered. He couldn't believe that Vaughn would do something so foolish.  
  
"Whoa, Dad, calm down. First of all," she said, dropping her voice to a hushed whisper, "Vaughn did *not* introduce me to his mother. I mean, he did, but it didn't happen the way that you think. When I got to Virginia, I broke into his townhouse because I was intending to surprise him. When he came home, he just happened to be with his mother, and of course, he had to explain to her who I was and what I was doing in his house."  
  
"You broke into his townhouse?" Jack asked incredulously.  
  
"Yes," Sydney nodded, "and I met his mother, and it wasn't his fault, so please don't blame him for that," she pleaded.  
  
The disapproving look on Jack's face slowly dissolved as he considered her words. "So what was Mrs. Vaughn like?" he asked curiously.  
  
"She was . . . she was lovely," Sydney said softly. "She's beautiful and formidable, but very warm and unassuming at the same time. She and Vaughn just have the most amazing relationship, and she was so nice to me. She treated me like I was already part of her family, even after I told her the truth about Mom."  
  
"Sydney, you didn't," Jack said with a pinched look on his face.  
  
"I had to, Dad. I went to dinner at her house, and I saw pictures of her and Vaughn and his father, and they were this beautiful, happy family until Mom took that away from them. Elise was being so sweet to me, and I just felt like a total fraud, knowing that she'd probably feel differently about me if she knew the truth. So I had to tell her. It was hanging over my relationship with Vaughn like a black cloud, and I didn't want it to be. I've had enough lies in my life, and I don't want there to be any in my relationship with him or his mother," she said quietly.  
  
"How did she take it?"  
  
"Better than I imagined, better than I had a right to expect. She basically told me that she didn't hold Mom's actions against me, and that it wasn't my fault."  
  
"Well, she was right. You're not your mother, Sydney."  
  
"I know, but I didn't expect her to be so understanding, considering what Mom did to her family. It was hard not to feel guilty when it was so obvious how much both Vaughn and Elise still miss William."  
  
"And just think -- there are eleven other families that feel the same way. Eleven other families that were torn apart by that woman," he said bitterly.  
  
"I know. Dad, do you know why mom did what she did? I mean, I know she was under orders, but why?"  
  
"Does it matter?" Jack snapped. "Can her reasons ever absolve her of her guilt?"  
  
"No, I guess not. It's just that I find myself wondering all the time how she could do the things that she did. I mean, even if I was under orders, I could never be an assassin for the CIA."  
  
"Well, I guess that's another thing that separates you from your mother," Jack said, making it clear that he no longer wished to talk about Irina. "Did Vaughn say anything about how the planning for the Alliance takedown is going?"  
  
"Just that it was going well," Sydney shrugged as she looked down at the floor. "I didn't really ask a lot of questions. I'm not sure that I really want to know the details," she admitted.  
  
"Why not?" Jack asked with a perplexed expression. "I know that there are things that Vaughn can't tell you, but why wouldn't you want to know everything that he could tell you?"  
  
"I don't know . . . just because," she said evasively.  
  
"Because what?"  
  
"Because . . . Look, I haven't told Vaughn this, because I don't want to upset him, but I can't help but feel like something is going to happen that's going to ruin everything. I know that it's terribly pessimistic of me, but considering everything that's happened in the past two years, I can't help it. I just feel like the minute I'm close to experiencing true happiness again, something's going come along and snatch it away from me. And if that happens, I'm going to be devastated, so I guess I'm just bracing myself for the impact now, while I still can."  
  
Jack looked at Sydney and suddenly felt all the weight of his failures as a father come crashing down on his shoulders. It pained him to know that she was so entrenched in this life that she was almost afraid to hope for something better even though she wanted it desperately. She was in love and she had her whole life ahead of her and he prayed that she wouldn't lose sight of that. He didn't want her to turn into him, and he hoped that her relationship with Vaughn would save her from that fate.  
  
"Sydney, you can't let yourself feel that way. You won't be stuck in this life forever. I won't let that happen, and neither will Vaughn. Neither should you," he added pointedly.  
  
"I know," she sighed. How had she gone from being so happy a few minutes ago to being so apprehensive all of a sudden? She hated what she'd just admitted to her father, especially after the incredible time she'd just spent with Vaughn, but she couldn't deny that she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And when she remembered the almost desperate way he'd clung to her after making love to her the other night, she knew that he was sharing her anxiety, and that made her feel even more unsettled. She tried to force those thoughts out of her mind, however, as she saw the stricken look on Jack's face. She didn't want him to worry about her any more than he already did.  
  
"Anyway," she said breezily, "I'm sure all the planning is going well. Vaughn thinks the takedown is going to happen around the last week of June."  
  
"That soon?"  
  
"It doesn't seem soon enough," she sighed. Now that she and Vaughn were on opposite ends of the country again, the end of June seemed further away than ever.  
  
"Well, you'll be a free woman before you know it," Jack smiled, though the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "Have you given any thought to what you're going to do when it's over?"  
  
*Other than Vaughn?* she thought with amusement. Somehow, she didn't think now was a good time to tell her dad about her vacation plans.   
  
"I haven't given it much thought yet," she said noncommittally, "but I'll figure it out eventually. Whatever I decide, I'm sure I'll want to get your opinion first," she smiled.  
  
This time, the smile that Jack gave her was genuine. "I'm glad to hear that, honey, though I'm sure mine won't be the first opinion you seek."  
  
She blushed and looked down at the floor. "No, probably not, but that doesn't mean that I won't want to hear what you have to say."  
  
"Good. Listen, I have to go, I have a briefing with Kendall, but I'll see you later, I'm sure. I'm glad you're back home, and I'm glad that you had a nice time with Vaughn." He gave her a brief pat on the shoulder before he walked away.  
  
Sydney turned and watched as he exited the rotunda, still trying to get used to his seeming acceptance of her relationship with Vaughn. It wasn't that she wasn't thrilled about it, but she still wondered every now and then if her father had been replaced by a kinder, gentler doppelganger. It hadn't been that long ago that he was lecturing her about their inappropriate emotional attachment to each other. She smiled and shook her head as she turned to walk to her desk, but stopped mid-stride when she passed one of the security monitors and caught a glimpse of her mother on the roof of the building. She slowly turned back around in the opposite direction and headed for the roof. She knew it was finally time to have the conversation that she had been dreading for the last few days.  
TBC . . . 


	21. Eight Miles

Chapter 21: "Eight Miles"  
  
Sydney flashed her security badge and the guard at the top of the stairs opened the gate and let her onto the roof. She took a few halting steps forward, transfixed by the sight of her mother stretching and meditating, radiating a sense of utter calm and peace. As Sydney watched, she realized how difficult it was to reconcile this woman with the woman who killed twelve CIA agents and ran her own crime syndicate after abandoning her family. After a few moments of silence, Irina stopped her movements, stood, and turned around.  
  
"Sydney, I knew it was you," she smiled as she looked closely at her daughter. Sydney's face was impassive but Irina could sense that something was troubling her. "How have you been? It's been a while since I last saw you."  
  
"I'm fine. I was away for a while."  
  
"Away? On a mission for Sloane?" Irina asked, her features darkening with a mixture of concern and resentment.  
  
"No, I was gone for personal reasons," Sydney said flatly.  
  
"I hope that nothing's wrong."  
  
"I guess that depends on how you look it." Irina was taken aback by Sydney's clipped toned and the steely look in her eyes. She hadn't seen Sydney look at her that way since the first week after she'd turned herself in to the CIA.  
  
"Do you mind if I ask where you went?"  
  
"Washington. McLean, Virginia to be exact."  
  
Irina's eyes flashed with recognition. "The only thing of any note is McLean is Langley. I thought you said you were gone for personal reasons."  
  
"I was. Vaughn is there; he's working at Langley for the next few months."  
  
"Why?" Irina asked curiously  
  
"I'm not at liberty to tell you that," Sydney said, crossing her arms.  
  
"But it has something to do with SD-6?"  
  
Sydney sighed with annoyance. "I just said that I can't tell you what he's doing. I won't tell you, no matter how many times you ask," she said stonily.  
  
"Fine," Irina snapped, as her voice began to take on an edge of its own. Sydney's obstinacy reminded her so much of herself when she was younger, an observation that filled her with both motherly pride and indignation. "So Agent Vaughn is gone," she said, watching closely as a look of both love and pain flickered across her daughter's face. "Does that have something to do with why you've seemed so unlike yourself for the past few weeks?"  
  
"I miss him," Sydney said quietly, avoiding her mother's penetrating gaze. "Or, I did, until I went to see him. But now that I'm back and he's not, I miss him again."  
  
"I understand." Irina nodded. "It's difficult not to be with the people we love."  
  
Sydney looked back up at her mother with an incredulous glare. "I imagine it's easier when you've *chosen* not to be with them."  
  
"I wouldn't know," Irina barked, matching Sydney's glare with one of her own. She wasn't sure why Sydney was acting so coldly now that they had finally begun to reconnect. "Sydney," she said in a softer tone, "something's obviously upsetting you, but I don't think now is a good time for us to have this conversation."  
  
"You're right," Sydney agreed. "Besides, I didn't come up here to ask you why you abandoned me and dad."  
  
"Then why did you come?"  
  
"Because I need answers from you, answers about Vaughn's father."  
  
Irina's face froze for a moment before she regained her composure. "Sydney, really, you don't want to -- "  
  
"Don't tell me what I want," Sydney cut her off. "When you first came back, you told me that there was a difference between wanting to know something and needing to know. I don't want to know why you killed William Vaughn, Mom. I *need* to know."  
  
"No. No, you don't," Irina said harshly.  
  
"I do," Sydney pleaded, almost on the verge of tears. Irina's chest tightened when saw the pain on her daughter's face, and she was filled with dread. She'd known ever since Vaughn first came to her cell that this conversation with her daughter was inevitable, but she hadn't though that it would come so soon.  
  
"Why?" Irina asked anxiously. "Why do you want to hear this? Why do you need to know and why now? Did something happen while you were with Vaughn?"  
  
"Did something happen? Yes, as a matter of fact, something did happen. For the first time since I've known Vaughn, he started to open up to me about his father. He even took me to his gravesite." Sydney closed her eyes and sighed, remembering how Vaughn had tightly clenched her hand while they were at William's grave, as if he was trying to draw strength from her as he shared his memories of him. "I know it wasn't easy for him to let me in like that, but he did. He made the effort because he knew that it was important to our relationship and because we agreed to stop letting our parents' pasts cloud our future."  
  
"Sydney, I -- "  
  
"That wasn't all," she said quietly. "I met his mother, and she treated me like the daughter she never had. The daughter that she *might've* had if her husband -- and her life -- hadn't been ripped away from her when she wasn't too much older than I am now. She's an amazing woman, and when I told her who I was and what you did to her family, she *still* accepted me because she loves Vaughn so much. I've never met anyone like her before, and I can't imagine how hard it was for her to pick up the pieces of her life after her husband died."  
  
"Sydney," Irina sighed, "It's obvious that you liked and admired Mrs. Vaughn a great deal, but don't make her out to be some kind of martyr. You, of all people, should be able to understand how she resumed her life after losing the man she loved."  
  
Sydney stared at her mother in disbelief. Was she actually trying to downplay the loss that Elise had suffered? "That was completely different," she said emphatically. "Danny and I hadn't even begun to build a life together, and yes, it was hard to drag myself out of bed everyday for almost a year after he died, but that couldn't have been anything compared to what Elise went through. She had to push her own pain aside to take care of Vaughn; she had to look into his face every day and be reminded of what she lost."  
  
"Like your father," Irina said softly.  
  
"Yes, like Dad. But the difference between Dad and Elise, is that while Dad totally withdrew from my life, Elise made Vaughn the center of hers. You should see them, they're so close. They have the kind of relationship that I only wish Dad and I had had while I was growing up. But as wonderful as their relationship is, I could almost see how it was tinged with the sadness and pain of William's death, and it broke my heart. Mom, you know that I love Vaughn, and after a week, I already love his mother too. That's why I need answers from you," Sydney finished, trying to fight back the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes.  
  
As Irina stared at her daughter, a flood of emotions ran through her: shame, guilt, and pain, but also resolve and strength. She knew that she couldn't possibly apologize for William Vaughn's death, but she also knew that she wouldn't. Not ever. "Sydney, I know that you've experienced a great deal in your life, but you couldn't begin to understand why I had to do the things that I did, and you're in no position to judge me."  
  
"I'm in no position to judge you for killing twelve CIA agents and god knows how many other foreign agents?" Sydney asked incredulously. "How in the hell can you justify all of the things that you've done?"  
  
"I *can't* justify all of the things that I've done, and I've never tried to. I was blinded by ideology and even though I questioned some of the things that I was ordered to do, I honestly believed that they were for a greater good, that I was doing them in service of my country. You work for the CIA, Sydney, and you spent seven years being deceived by SD-6, thinking that you were doing good when you were doing the exact opposite. You, more than anyone, should be able to understand how I must have felt."  
  
"Don't," Sydney said between clenched teeth. "Don't stand in front of me and tell me that I should be able to understand how you could commit murder for your country. I would never do that for the CIA; I was never even asked to do that for SD-6. So no, Mom, I can't understand how you felt. I know that we do things in this business sometimes that are distasteful and unpleasant, but the only times I've killed have been in self-defense. I've never killed anyone without provocation, and I can't bring myself to shrug off the fact that you have, especially when one of the dead bodies you left in your wake belonged to the father of the man I love."  
  
"Sydney, like I said, I can't justify all of the things that I've done. The first few agents that I killed, I did it without thinking about it, without questioning orders, without letting myself feel anything because I couldn't afford to. But the rest . . ." her voice trailed off and she shut her eyes tightly. "I had no choice," she said firmly. "You couldn't possibly understand."  
  
"Then *make* me understand," Sydney pleaded. Deep inside, she knew that nothing her mother could say would ever satisfy or placate her, but she was desperate for an answer, any answer.  
  
"You *can't* understand, Sydney, because you're not a mother," Irina blurted out.  
  
"What does that mean? What does being a mother have to do with . . ." she gasped and covered her mouth with her hand as the implication of her mother's words suddenly hit her. "Tell me that you didn't -- "  
  
"I did. I had to. They gave me no choice Sydney -- it was either those agents' lives or yours and your father's. There *was* no choice to make. I would have done whatever it took to keep them from harming you and your father, and I won't apologize for that. It's unfortunate that Vaughn and his mother had to suffer as a result of what I did, but it kept my family alive. There's no mother in the world who wouldn't have done what I did."  
  
Sydney suddenly felt as if she'd been kicked in the gut. "You sacrificed William's life for ours?" she cried in anguish. "You're telling me that Vaughn had to lose his father so *I* could live?"  
  
"I tried to tell you that you might not be prepared to hear this, Sydney. You should have listened to me," she said reproachfully. "I know how you feel about Vaughn, and I know how painful this must be, but do you at least understand now? Do you understand why I had to do what I did?" she asked desperately. Sydney looked sickened and devastated and she feared that she may have permanently ruined any chance of rebuilding her relationship with her daughter.  
  
"It doesn't matter if I understand," Sydney shook her head. "How could *Vaughn* ever understand this?" Sydney looked at her mother, desperate for an answer. There were thousands of questions racing through her mind, but the only one that truly mattered was how Vaughn would react to learning this awful truth. They'd been through a lot together, but she wasn't at all sure that their relationship could survive this new revelation. No matter how much he loved her, she knew she couldn't ever ask him to understand the choice her mother had made.  
  
Just as Irina opened her mouth to speak again, the guards approached them, signaling that her fifteen minutes outside were over. Mother and daughter looked at each other in anguish, knowing that their conversation was coming to a premature end, and that so many lingering questions remained between them.  
  
Irina reached out to place a comforting hand on Sydney's shoulder, but drew it back when she saw the guards tightening their grips on their weapons. "Sydney, I don't have an answer for that question, but he loves you. He will understand."  
  
Sydney couldn't bring herself to watch as the guards escorted her mother from the roof. Even worse than that, she couldn't bring herself to believe her mother's assurances about Vaughn.  
  
*****  
  
"Sydney . . . Earth to Sydney."  
  
Sydney turned around, startled when she felt a light hand on her shoulder. "Weiss," she said, forcing her voice to sound normal. "Sorry, I didn't realize you were up here."  
  
"I noticed. Jake Myers told me that you'd been up here ever since they took your mother back to her cell. Are you okay?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.  
  
"Never better. I was just taking advantage of the fresh air," she said with forced cheerfulness, fidgeting nervously as Weiss closely studied her.  
  
"Sydney, for a spy you can be a really bad liar sometimes. What's wrong?" he asked, facing her as he took a seat on the edge of the concrete wall along the roof.  
  
"Nothing," she said, avoiding his stare. "I'm fine."  
  
"You're not fine," he shook his head. "You're obviously upset about something and it's my job to find out what it is."  
  
"Since when?" she asked more defensively than she'd meant to. The only person whose job that had been was Vaughn's, and she wasn't sure that she trusted anyone else to do it.  
  
"Ever since Frenchy left. He's my best friend, and the one thing he asked me to do was to keep an eye on you and make sure that you were okay."  
  
Of course he had. "He's so overprotective sometimes," Sydney smiled ruefully. "I think that might be what I love about him the most."  
  
"It's because he loves you. You're all he cares about, and he'd kick my ass if he found out that I wasn't taking care of you."  
  
"No, he wouldn't."  
  
"Yeah, he would. He tends to get a little irrational where you're concerned," Weiss smiled. "So seriously, what's wrong? Did your mom upset you?"  
  
She sighed deeply. She wasn't sure that she should tell Weiss about her conversation with her mother, but she felt like she desperately needed to tell someone, and Vaughn, her father, and Dr. Barnett were out of the question. "I did something really stupid," she said quietly. "I made the mistake of asking her why she killed his father. I thought that I needed to know, but now I wish I didn't." She choked back a sob and buried her face in her hands as her mother's words echoed in her mind.  
  
"Hey, come here," Weiss soothed as he stood up and hugged her sympathetically. "It's obvious that whatever she said upset you, but it'll be okay." He held her for a few minutes until she stopped sniffling and when he sat back down, he pulled her hand until she sat next to him.  
  
"I don't think it can ever be okay," she whispered. "A week ago, I was so ridiculously happy. I was with Vaughn and was the first time that I really felt like a part of his life, like more than just a secret he was keeping, and it was the first time that I got to see him as just Michael, without all the CIA stuff going on. But best of all, it was the first time that he and I really let down our guard with each other and talked about our parents. I was feeling really guilty about what my mother did to his father, but he told me that I didn't have to."  
  
"And he was right. It's not your fault, Sydney. It never was."  
  
"I wanted to believe that. You have no idea how much I wanted to believe that, how much I wanted to let go of all the guilt I've been carrying around. I was finally ready to do that and I thought that if I talked to my mom and listened to her explain her reasons for killing his father, that I'd finally be able to accept that I wasn't responsible for her actions and that I'd be able to let it go. But now . . ." Her voice trailed off as a fresh set of tears sprang to her eyes. "How do you think Vaughn would react to finding out that his father's life was sacrificed for mine?"  
  
"Wait, what are you . . . are you saying that -- "  
  
Sydney nodded mournfully. "She told me that the reason she killed his father was because her superiors threatened to kill me and my father if she didn't carry out her orders. She killed him because of me. How could Vaughn ever look at me again knowing that?"  
  
"I don't think he's going to have a problem looking at you, Sydney. He never has before," he smiled, trying to cheer her up.   
  
"Weiss," she hiccuped. "Stop trying to make me laugh. This is serious."  
  
"Only because you're making it that way. You just said that Mike told you it was time to let go of the guilt, right? So what, all it took was a few words from your mother to make you forget that?" he asked gently. "Listen, I know that right now this seems like the most devastating thing you could have found out, but honestly, it's not. The guilt you're feeling isn't going to bring Mike's father back, and it's also not going to change how he feels about you. Is it a crazy, horrible coincidence? Yeah, it is, but it's not the end of the world, and it's certainly no reason for you to believe that Mike's going to flip out and end your relationship. You're not giving him enough credit if you think he would do something like that, Sydney. He's already demonstrated his willingness to stick by you, come hell or high water, everyone else be damned. I don't think anything could ever change that, not even this."  
  
Sydney raised her head and took a long, appreciative look at Weiss. She was so used to him being the class clown that she'd never realized how comforting and supportive he could be. "Thanks for saying that. In a few years, I might actually believe you," she smiled.  
  
"You *should* believe me," he said as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "I may not be as, uh, intimately acquainted with Mike as you are, but I know him pretty well, and I've seen his devotion to you up close and personal. Have faith in that, and don't worry about anything else. I just want to make sure, though -- you're not gonna call him and tell him about this, are you?" he asked with concern.  
  
"God no," she breathed. "If I tell him at all, I owe it to him to do it in person."  
  
"Good. Listen, I can't tell you whether you *should* tell him or not, but if you do, he's definitely gonna need you there to comfort him."  
  
"Imagine that -- *me* comforting him for once," she smiled ruefully. "Have you ever heard of anything crazier in your life?"  
  
"Oh, you'd be surprised," Weiss laughed as he pulled her up by the hand and headed for the stairs back to the ops center. "Did I ever tell you about the time Mike and I had to go undercover in a strip club?"  
  
"Weiss, I don't even *want* to hear that story," she half-laughed, half-groaned as she followed him back down the stairs.  
  
*****  
  
Vaughn leaned back in his chair and smiled with satisfaction as his printer printed out the final pages of a seventy-five page report outlining a proposed plan of attack for the destruction of SD-6. The plan began with an untraceable attack on SD-6's bank accounts and finances, continued with a strategy for arresting its most important agents, informants, and assets all over the world, and concluded with a detailed description of a plan for infiltrating Credit Dauphine and capturing Arvin Sloane. Vaughn had been working on the report ever since his arrival at Langley, and he had finished it far ahead of schedule because he'd slaved away on it, enduring a month's worth of early mornings and late nights. Though he had always been dedicated to his job, he'd never worked as hard as he had in the past month, but it had been more than worth all the effort.   
  
His supervising agent had taken notice of his hard work, but the professional rewards to be reaped hardly concerned him. Every minute that he'd spent working on the report had been for Sydney and the future that he desperately wanted to share with her. That was the reason why he had scrutinized every piece of intel, every blueprint, every bank account that had come across his desk, and why he had tirelessly plotted, strategized, and reviewed every means of attacking SD-6's inner workings. All of it had been done for Sydney -- and for himself too, he allowed himself to admit. His work had been driven by more than a little selfish desire to see SD-6 fall, and Sydney's visit had only reminded him why he wanted it so desperately. Now he could spend the next three months reviewing and fine-tuning the plan, as well as assisting his fellow agents who were working on their own plans for destroying the other Alliance cells. Best of all, he knew that there was now a chance that he might be able to return to L.A. -- and Sydney -- weeks earlier than he was scheduled to, and he wanted that more than anything in the world.  
  
He carefully gathered the report from the printer and walked out to place it on his assistant's desk so she could bind it and give it to Director Butler in the morning. As he walked back into his office, he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the window and smiled. He looked tired but happy and realized that the happiness was a residual effect of Sydney's visit. Even though he missed her terribly, the memories of the past nine days were fresh in his mind, and they had made his long day bearable.   
  
As he thought about her, he sat back down in his chair and stared at the phone, desperately wanting so badly to call her and hear her voice for just a few minutes, but he knew he probably shouldn't. He'd already taken a huge risk by talking with her for so long on the phone the night before; he didn't think it was a good idea to take another risk by calling her now. His head quickly conceded defeat to his heart, however, and as he dialed her number, he reassured himself that security section wouldn't be able to intercept his call.  
  
Twenty-three hundred miles away, Sydney entered her room and plopped down on the edge of her bed, pushing sweat-soaked hair back from her face as her breathing slowly returned to normal. Her muscles were burning, but she felt exhilarated following a long run, and at least the physical pain had taken her mind off of the emotional pain she'd been feeling ever since her talk with her mother. Her chat with Weiss had briefly made her feel better, but as she spent the afternoon at SD-6, making small talk with Dixon, Marshall, and Sloane, she'd found it difficult to focus on anything other than the new revelation about the cruel intersection between hers and Vaughn's lives. She had been able to think of little else for the rest of the day, so when she got home, she'd hastily thrown on her running clothes and set out for an intentionally punishing run, which had helped her shut out all thoughts of Vaughn, her mother, and his father. Now, as she leaned back and closed her eyes, she willed herself not to start thinking about them again, but it was a losing battle. So she was grateful and surprised when her CIA cellphone rang and interrupted her thoughts, though she wondered what on earth Kendall could possibly want at this time of the evening. When she reached over and grabbed the phone from her nightstand, she didn't recognize the number on the caller ID, but her heart jumped when she saw the 703 area code.  
  
"Hello," she answered cautiously.  
  
"Do you have any idea how amazing it is just to hear your voice?"  
  
"Vaughn," she happily sighed as an involuntary smile spread across her face. It lasted for only a moment, though, before it was replaced by a look of concern. She certainly hadn't been expecting to speak to him again so soon after last night. "Is everything alright?"  
  
"Yeah. Everything's fine. I just had a really long day and I needed to hear your voice," he said as he sank down into his chair. He could almost feel the empty space in his heart being filled now that he was talking to her again. "Are *you* okay? You sound like you just finished a triathlon," he teased.  
  
"I just got back from a run."   
  
"I should've known," he smiled. "How far?"  
  
"Eight miles."  
  
"Eight miles? What's wrong?"  
  
"What do you mean 'what's wrong'?"  
  
"Syd, I know you. When you're upset, you usually take it out on the pavement, but eight miles is kind of extreme, even for you. Did something happen today?"  
  
Sydney closed her eyes and sighed, not wanting to answer his question. What could she say to him? *Yes, honey, something did happen. I found out that the reason my mother killed your father was so the KGB wouldn't kill me. Isn't that an amazing twist of fate?* She wasn't sure if she could ever bring herself to tell Vaughn the truth about the circumstances surrounding his father's death, but she damned sure wasn't going to do it over the phone.  
  
"No, nothing happened. It was just difficult to go back to work and deal with Sloane again." At least that wasn't a total lie, she told herself.  
  
"Yeah, I figured it might be. Are you sure that nothing else is wrong?" he asked, his voice full of quiet concern.  
  
She laughed uneasily. "What else would be wrong, Vaughn?"  
  
"I don't know. I just thought that maybe you saw your mom or maybe your dad was still giving you a hard time about coming here."  
  
"No, he was actually pretty cool about it after the fact, though that may have had something to do with the huge smile on my face this morning."  
  
"Well that's good. What about your mom?" he asked hesitantly. "Did you see her today?"  
  
"Briefly. It was pretty uneventful, though," she lied.  
  
"That's a good thing, right?"  
  
"Yeah, it is." She could only imagine how unconvincing she sounded right now and she hated herself for not being truthful with him, but she just couldn't, not yet. She prayed that when the time came, however, he would be able to forgive her, but she wasn't even sure that she could forgive herself. As the waves of guilt started to overcome her again, she realized that she desperately needed to get off of the phone with him before she completely lost her composure. "Vaughn, listen, I hate to cut this short, but I'm supposed to meet Francie for dinner, and I need to get ready. I'm so sorry," she whispered, apologizing for more than ending their conversation, though he didn't know it.   
  
"Oh no, it's my fault, Syd," he said understandingly. "You should have told me sooner so I wouldn't have taken up so much of your time."  
  
"Vaughn, don't *ever* apologize for taking up my time," she said firmly as tears filled her eyes. Her emotions were all over the place right now, but no matter what, he was still the most important person in her life and she never wanted him to think otherwise. "I'll try to talk you soon, okay?"  
  
"Count on it. I love you, Sydney."  
  
"I know," she breathed. "I love you too, more than anything. You know that, right?" she asked with an urgent tone in her voice.  
  
"Yeah, I know. Listen, take care of yourself -- and stop running so much," he added with a playful laugh.  
  
"I'll try," she said, managing a small laugh. "Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Sydney took a deep breath and covered her mouth to stifle a sob as she hung up the phone. Talking to Vaughn had filled her with indescribable joy and pain -- joy to know that he loved her so much, and pain in the knowledge that he was blissfully unaware that he was in love with the woman whose life had cost him his father's life.  
  
Desperate to numb her pain, she jumped up from the bed and frantically tore her clothes away from her body as she made her way to the bathroom. She turned on the water and watched steam quickly fill the room before she stepped into a scalding hot shower. As she stood underneath the pulsating stream of water, she was grateful that she could no longer distinguish between the hot drops of the shower and the hot tears of shame and guilt rolling down her face.  
TBC . . . 


	22. 28 Candles

Chapter 22: "28 Candles"  
"Agent Bristow," Kendall acknowledged with a short nod as Sydney walked up to him in the rotunda.  
  
"Hello, Agent Kendall. Agent Miles said that you needed to speak with me."  
  
"Yes, we have a problem. We've been trying to analyze the codes you transmitted from Tunis on Tuesday, but even with all the supposed brain power in Analysis, they can't seem to crack them."  
  
"It can't be that difficult," Sydney said with a disbelieving half-smile.  
  
"Apparently it is, because they're having all kinds of trouble with it," Kendall folded his arms. "I'd like you to ask your mother to take a look at the codes."  
  
"And you had to call me for that? There are any number of people who could have asked for her help."  
  
Kendall sighed and rested his chin on one fist. "As you're aware, Agent Bristow, your mother made it clear when she first got here that she would only speak with you. Since then she's allowed your father and Agent Vaughn to approach her, but that's about the extent of it, and with your father in Jakarta and Agent Vaughn in Washington, that leaves you as our only remaining option."  
  
"What, you couldn't have threatened her with another trip to Camp Harris if she didn't cooperate?" Sydney asked sarcastically.  
  
"That's exactly what I did, but it didn't work," Kendall admitted without even a trace of irony. "Irina Derevko hasn't always been the most cooperative detainee, but she's become even less so in recent weeks. I don't suppose you'd know why, would you?" he asked, studying her closely. Sydney shrank a bit under his gaze and feigned ignorance.  
  
"I have no idea, but maybe she'll tell me when I go speak with her."  
  
"Maybe she will," Kendall agreed, pleased that Sydney had acquiesced to his demand. "She's in Conference Room 8."  
  
"She's not in her cell?" Sydney asked, not bothering to hide the surprise in her voice.  
  
"Cracking the codes could take a while; we thought the conference room might be more comfortable for both of you. Don't worry, she's being heavily guarded."  
  
"Okay. Then, I guess I'll be in Conference Room 8 if anyone needs me."  
  
A few minutes later, Sydney nodded to the two guards posted outside the conference room as she swiped her ID badge in the cardreader and unlocked the door. She apprehensively entered the room and saw two additional guards inside, with weapons in hand. Her mother stood on the opposite side of the room, looking out of a window, as Sydney turned to the one of the guards.  
  
"Would you mind leaving us alone for a few minutes?" she asked quietly.  
  
"Agent Bristow, I'm not sure that -- "  
  
"I'll be fine," she assured. "She won't hurt me, but if I need help for any reason, I'll buzz for you."  
  
"Okay," the agent replied uneasily. "We'll be right outside the door if you need us."  
  
"Thanks." Sydney heard the door click shut behind her, but if Irina heard it, she didn't let on. "Mom?" Sydney asked after a few moments of uneasy silence.  
  
"I never imagined that I would ever be grateful to Agent Kendall," Irina said with a mirthless laugh. She took a final look out of the window before turning to face Sydney. "But I suppose that if he hadn't asked you to come to me with those codes, it probably would have been another three weeks before I saw you again." Irina's voice was neutral but the hurt in her eyes was unmistakable, and Sydney couldn't remember ever seeing her mother look so defeated.  
  
"What makes you think that?"  
  
"I know you've been avoiding me," Irina said matter-of-factly.   
  
"Actually, I haven't," Sydney said, meeting her mother's gaze. "Ever since my week off, Sloane has sent me on one mission after another. I've barely had time to catch my breath, much less come to the ops center. In fact, this is the first time I've been here in almost two and a half weeks."  
  
"Oh," Irina said, trying to hide her surprise. "I just assumed that the reason I hadn't seen you recently was because of our last conversation. I knew you would need time to come to terms with what I told you, and I thought you were still taking that time."  
  
"I do still need time," Sydney acknowledged, "time to figure out how I'm going to tell Vaughn, and *if* I'm going to tell him. My only real concern is how he's going to react. After I thought about it for a while, I realized that it probably won't change how he feels about me, but that doesn't mean that it's not going to be difficult for him to hear."  
  
"No, I suppose not. I know that it wasn't easy for you to hear, either, and I'm sorry for that. But you asked, and I wanted to be honest with you -- for once," she added with an apologetic smile.  
  
"Well, I can't say that I'm glad that you told me, but I did appreciate your honesty, and, in a way, I think I understand," Sydney said softly.  
  
"Do you?"  
  
"In the last few weeks, I've spent a lot of time asking myself what I would have done if I had been in your shoes."  
  
"And?" Irina asked, unknowingly holding her breath.  
  
"And I realized that if I were under duress, if someone was threatening my child, I would probably do the same thing that you did. In fact, I know that I would," she said as she began to fidget uncomfortably. "And I know that if anyone ever threatened to kill Vaughn, I would do whatever I had to do to keep that from happening."  
  
"Even if it meant taking another life?" Irina breathed.  
  
"If it came to that, yes. I don't particularly like what that says about me, but Vaughn is the most important person in my life and I would do anything to keep him safe. So I understand why you did what you did, and since it was *my* life that was saved by your actions, it's hard for me to hold that against you."  
  
Irina closed her eyes and brought her clasped hands up to her mouth for a moment. When she opened her eyes again, Sydney noticed them shining with tears. "Sydney, you don't know how much it means to me to know that you understand, to know that you don't hate me for the choice I made. Thank you."  
  
Sydney was unprepared for her mother's display of emotion, and hadn't realized until then how much her opinion actually mattered to Irina. There was a part of her cautioning that it could all be an act, however.  
  
"I don't hate you," Sydney said softly, "but just because I understand why you killed Vaughn's father and some of those other agents doesn't mean that I understand everything that you've done. After you left Dad and me, after you started running your own organization, you did a lot of really horrible things, Mom, things that are harder for me to understand, things that I *know* you weren't doing for my benefit or Dad's. I hope that you're not also expecting me to understand those things, because I don't think that I ever can."  
  
Irina nodded, knowing that everything Sydney said was true. Her more recent activities had been driven by obsession and greed, rather than concern for her family, and she knew that Sydney, the dutiful CIA agent, would never be able to understand how she could have done the things she had.   
  
"I know that, Sydney, and I'm not expecting your forgiveness for those things. For now it's enough to know that I haven't ruined all hope of having a relationship with you."  
  
Sydney shifted uneasily, unsure of how to respond to her mother's obvious pleasure and relief. She wasn't sure that they would ever have a real relationship, and if they ever did, it was going to take a lot more time for it to develop. So instead of acknowledging her mother's statement, she cleared her throat and gestured to the chairs in front of them.   
  
"We should probably get started on this," she said, laying a folder on the table as she took a seat opposite her mother.  
  
Irina took notice of Sydney's discomfort and sat down in her own chair, deciding to quit while she was ahead and change the topic. "I'm surprised that the agency's analysts haven't been able to figure this out."  
  
"So am I. I guess that's why Kendall felt that he needed to consult an expert," Sydney said with a slight smile.  
  
Irina briefly returned her smile before picking up a pencil and beginning to take notes. Sydney watched in fascination for almost a half hour as her mother scribbled furiously on a sheet of paper, wearing a look of intense concentration on her face. She was so consumed by her work that Sydney was startled when she spoke without looking up from her paper.  
  
"Where is your father?"  
  
"Jakarta. Sloane sent him there to get intel from an SD-6 asset. Why?"  
  
"If he had been here, I doubt that he would have let Kendall talk you in to bringing this to me," she said with a wry smile. "I know that he still wants to keep you as far from me as possible, so I figured that he must be out of town, though I'm surprised that he would agree to go on a trip that would cause him to miss your birthday." She glanced up at Sydney and saw the surprise on her face. "You didn't think that I would forget your birthday, did you?   
  
"Sydney," she said as she set her pencil down and folded her hands, "I know that I haven't been the best mother in the world, but every year since I left, for almost the entire week before your birthday, all I could think about was the fact that you were spending yet another birthday without me. And on April 17th of every year, I would stop to reflect on the one truly good thing that I ever did in my life -- giving birth to you.  
  
"So anyway, Happy Birthday," she said with a smile as she tried to force the sadness from her voice. "I'm sure that your father will make it up to you when he returns. Do you have any plans to celebrate?"  
  
"Not really," Sydney said slowly, still reeling from the flash of genuine emotion she'd seen from her mother just a moment earlier. "I think I'll probably just go out to dinner with Will and Francie when Francie returns from visiting her parents. To be honest, though, I'm not really in the mood to celebrate a lot this year," she shrugged.  
  
"Perhaps you would be if you were celebrating with someone else," Irina said with a knowing smile.   
  
Sydney looked away and blushed slightly as she imagined all the ways she'd like to celebrate her birthday with Vaughn. After a few moments, she turned her attention back to her mother and forced herself to stop imagining licking frosting off of his body.   
  
"I can't deny that I wish Vaughn was here, although it would be even better if I was in Virginia with him."  
  
"Why is that?" Irina asked as the smile quickly dissolved from her face.  
  
"Because being in Virginia felt like being a world away from Sloane and SD-6, and that was definitely a good thing. Besides," she said with a far-away smile, "it would have been nice to celebrate my birthday with him and his mother."  
  
"You're saying that on your birthday, you would want to spend time with Agent Vaughn *and* his mother?"  
  
"Sure, why wouldn't I?"  
  
"I just find it hard to believe that you wouldn't want to have Vaughn all to yourself."  
  
"Well, I didn't say that," Sydney smiled. "Of course, I would love to be alone with Vaughn, but if I was in Virginia with him, yeah, I'd want to include his mother in our plans," she said nonchalantly. She couldn't help but notice the subtle shift in her mother's body language, and she wondered what she had said wrong. "Why do you seem upset by that?"  
  
"I'm not upset," Irina said as she picked up the pencil and began to write again.  
  
"You certainly look upset. In fact, the look on your face right now is the same look that you had when I was talking about how difficult William's death must have been on Elise," Sydney said as the realization struck her. "Do you have some kind of problem with Vaughn's mother?"  
  
"Don't be ridiculous, Sydney. I don't even know Mrs. Vaughn. Why would I have a problem with her?"  
  
"I have no idea. I was hoping you could explain it to me."  
  
Irina sighed deeply and set the pencil back down on the table. "I know that I have no right to be upset. After being absent from the last twenty-two years of your life, the last thing that I should do is begrudge a connection between you and someone that you care about. But the fact that you would willingly choose to spend your birthday with Mrs. Vaughn . . ." she shook her head with frustration. "You haven't known her for very long, but you already have a bond with her, and I can't help but be envious of that. It's obvious that you like her a great deal, and it hurts to realize that you have a connection like that with another woman," she admitted.  
  
Sydney looked down at the table for a moment as she struggled to reign in the emotions that were quickly rising to the surface. "I hope you're not trying to make me feel guilty about the fact that I got along so well with Elise when I went to visit Vaughn," she said in a low voice.  
  
"Of course not, I just -- "  
  
"Because frankly," Sydney said, raising her voice slightly, "having a good relationship with her is very important to me."  
  
"I know that, Sydney, and I understand. I do. Your father's mother never liked me very much. It was as if she could see right through me and tell what a liar I was, but, nevertheless, I tried so hard to get her to like me; I always wished that things were different between us. I couldn't risk blowing my cover, of course, so I was completely cut off from my family, and it would have been nice to have felt like I had a family here in the United States." She paused to take a deep breath.   
  
"But the main reason that I wanted to get along with her was because I saw how much it meant to your father. He desperately wanted us to like each other and have a good relationship, but it just wasn't meant to be. Apparently your grandmother was an excellent judge of character," Irina said with a sad smile.  
  
"I never knew that you didn't get along," Sydney said quietly. She had never known any of her grandparents, and her father had never mentioned the strained relationship between her mother and his.  
  
"That's why I understand why having a good relationship with Mrs. Vaughn is important to you. It's just . . . it's just that it's obvious that you want Vaughn to be a permanent part of your life. And I want that for you, Sydney, because *you* want it, and because it's so easy to see how the two of you feel about each other. But as Vaughn becomes a bigger part of your life, so will his mother, and to be honest, I hate the thought you might think of her as more of a mother to you than I am. You may already feel that way, and of course, you have every right to. I have no one to blame for that but myself, and perhaps this is my punishment for not being a part of your life when you needed me the most. For what it's worth, I resented Emily Sloane as well, but you weren't in love with her son, so she was never the threat that Elise Vaughn is."  
  
"Mom," Sydney began before Irina held up a hand to stop her.  
  
"Sydney, please don't. Don't feel as if you have to apologize or soothe my hurt feelings. That wasn't my intent in telling you what I've told you. It's just that you were right -- hearing you talk about Mrs. Vaughn did upset me. From what you said about her the last time that we spoke, it sounds as if she was the perfect mother, and I can't help but be reminded of my own shortcomings every time you mention her. But that's my problem, not yours."  
  
"Yes, it is your problem. I'm not saying that to make you feel bad," Sydney explained. "It's just that I won't sacrifice having a close relationship with Elise for the sake of your feelings or anyone else's. I can't. I want to spend the rest of my life with her son, and I want her to believe that I'm worthy of him. I don't want her to have any doubts about whether she can trust me to love him and take care of him, or whether I'll be a good mother to her grandchildren one day.   
  
"And it's more than just that. I want to have a good relationship with her for Vaughn's sake, too. He told me once that if he ever had to choose between us, he would choose me, but I don't ever want it to come to that. I don't ever want him to have to sacrifice his mother's love for mine, and he won't have to if she and I are close to each other."  
  
"He's lucky that you love him so much." Irina admired the way that her daughter seemed to place the man she loved above everything else in her life. She only wished that she had done the same with her own husband so many years ago.  
  
"Actually, I'm lucky that he loves *me* so much, and I'm lucky that his mother seem to likes me even though she has every reason not to. I have every intention of making sure that it stays that way, and I hope that you can understand that without thinking that it's somehow meant to punish you, because it's not."  
  
"I know that, and I believe you," Irina smiled. "The last thing that you should be concerned about is me. The only thing that I have ever wanted for you is for you not to make the same mistakes in your life that I've made in my own, but I don't think I have to worry very much about that," she smiled. "I had no way of knowing twenty-eight years ago that you would grow into such an exceptional woman, Sydney, but I'm very proud of you. I hope you believe that."  
  
"I want to," Sydney said with a smile of her own.   
  
"Then I hope you will. Happy Birthday, sweetheart."  
  
*****  
  
"Here are the code translations," Sydney said, handing her mother's notes to Kendall. He took a long look at them and nodded.  
  
"Good, I'll have these sent back to analysis. Thank you. By the way, Agent Weiss asked me to have you find him when you were done."  
  
"Thanks for the message." Sydney went off in search of Weiss and found him a few moments later at his desk.  
  
"Hey, Weiss. I heard you wanted to see me," she smiled.  
  
"Yeah, I did," he said with a smile of his own. "I wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday."  
  
"Aw, thanks. But how did you know that it was my birthday?"  
  
"C'mon, Bristow. I've read your file."  
  
"Yeah, but I doubt that you remembered my birthday from reading my file more than a year ago, Eric," she laughed.  
  
"Alright, you got me," he admitted. "Actually, I remembered that it was your birthday because Mike sent this and asked me to give it to you," he said, handing her a blue envelope. "And if there are more plane tickets in there, I'm going to steal them and go on vacation in your place," he grinned.  
  
"Then I'm definitely not going to tell you what's in here," Sydney smiled as she hid the envelope behind her back. "Have you talked to him recently?" she asked anxiously. She'd been so busy on her SD-6 missions that she hadn't spoken with Vaughn in two weeks.  
  
"Yeah, he's fine, just itching to get back to L.A., as usual. I'm sure he'll call to wish you a happy birthday," he said reassuringly when he saw the anxious look on her face.  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure he will," she smiled. "Speaking of which, I'm going to get out of here and go home, so I'll see you soon."  
  
"Okay. Bye, birthday girl."  
  
Twenty minutes later, Sydney arrived at home, marveling at how quiet the apartment was with Francie out of town. She was grateful for the solitude, though, as she dropped her keys and purse onto the table in the hallway and walked to her bedroom. Once inside, she kicked off her heels and flopped down onto the bed as she looked at the blue envelope in her hands and eagerly ripped it open. It had taken all the willpower she had not to open in it the car on the way home, but she had wanted to be all alone when she opened it, since she had no idea what would be inside. She soon realized, much to her dismay, that the envelope did not, in fact, contain pictures of Vaughn naked. Instead, it contained a standard greeting card, with a note from Vaughn on the left hand side:   
  
Syd,  
  
I wish that I could be with you today to celebrate the day that changed my life forever, but I promise that the next time I see you, we'll have a proper celebration. In the meantime, I've made arrangements for you to receive your gift. Joey's Pizza will deliver it at 6:30 p.m. I hope you like it.  
  
All my love,  
- V  
  
Sydney flipped the card over and searched for additional clues as she wondered what in the world Vaughn was up to. She took a glance at her watch and noticed that it was a quarter to six. If she hurried, she'd have just enough time to change out of her work clothes and make it to the warehouse by 6:30.  
  
*****  
  
At 6:33, Sydney walked into the warehouse, unsure of what to expect once she got to the storage unit. As she walked down the hall, it occurred to her that she hadn't been there at all since the day she told her father about her relationship with Vaughn. Everything about the warehouse seemed the same, however, and she felt a flood of emotion wash over her as she began to remember all of the moments she and Vaughn had spent there. She wondered if they'd ever have any reason to meet there again once SD-6 was gone.   
  
As she neared the gate, she saw a man standing inside the storage unit and her heart skipped a beat before she realized that the man was too short to be Vaughn. She silently prayed that he was supposed to be there and that someone hadn't led her into an elaborately planned trap.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Miss Bristow?" the man asked as he turned around to face her.  
  
"Yes," she said suspiciously.  
  
"Agent Vaughn asked me to give you this," he said, handing her a small notecard. She immediately recognized Vaughn's handwriting and quickly read the note, which told her not to worry and to go with the man who had given it to her.  
  
"Is this for real?"   
  
"Yes," he laughed. "Agent Vaughn asked me to drive you somewhere. It shouldn't take too long to get there if we leave now. I'm Agent Jeff Shaw, by the way," he said as he extended his hand. "Michael were in the same class at the farm."  
  
"Oh. Nice to meet you, Jeff." Sydney shook his hand and realized that she had seen him a few times at CIA headquarters before Vaughn had been assigned to work at the joint task force center. "I'm ready to go if you are."  
  
"Great." He led her to his car and after a short ride, they were in Santa Monica. Agent Shaw pulled up in front of a hotel and Sydney looked at him quizzically.  
  
"Casa Del Mar? This is where he asked you to bring me? What's going on?"  
  
He laughed. "I wish I could tell you, but I have no idea. Mike told me nothing, except to drop you off and give you this one last thing." He reached into the pocket of his overcoat and pulled out a small square box. "Whatever it is, I hope you like it."  
  
"Yeah, so do I," she said with a nervous smile. "Well, thanks for the ride, Jeff," she said as she got out of the car. She watched as he pulled out of the driveway, and then looked down at the box in her hands.   
  
"What are you up to, Vaughn?" she asked with amusement. Whatever his gift was, he'd certainly put a lot of thought and planning into it. She slowly unwrapped the box and was surprised to find a key with a note telling her to go to Room 205.  
  
As she stepped off of the elevator and walked down the hall to room 205, she fully expected to open the door and find yet another note with more instructions. If Vaughn was sending her on some kind of crazy scavenger hunt, she was going to make him pay for it the next time she saw him, she thought with a laugh. The laugh quickly caught in her throat, however, when she opened the door to the room. It was completely dark inside except for the flickering light glowing from what she guessed were twenty-eight candles lining the edge of a small, round cake sitting on a table in the center of the room. She walked over to the table and covered her mouth in shock as she looked down at the cake, which was decorated with pink and yellow flowers. A bucket of ice and a bottle of champagne sat next to the cake, anchoring a dozen ribbon attached to mylar balloons exclaiming, "Happy Birthday!"  
  
"Oh my god," she breathed. She was still trying to recover from her shock when she felt a pair of strong, familiar arms wrap around her waist.  
  
"Happy Birthday, Gorgeous," a voice whispered in her ear. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself.  
  
"Please tell me that I'm not dreaming," she murmured.   
  
"Nope, you're not dreaming," Vaughn replied as he placed a soft kiss on the side of her neck. "But you should probably make a wish before the cake melts," he teased.  
  
"I don't know. It seems incredibly greedy to wish for anything else right now."  
  
"It's okay, it's your birthday," he assured her. "Seriously, make a wish."  
  
"Okay." She closed her eyes, made a wish, and bent forward to blow out the candles, smiling as Vaughn held her hair back for her. He laughed when she blew all the candles out in one long breath.  
  
"God, Bristow, you have the lung capacity of a whale!"  
  
"What can I say? It was a really good wish; I want to be sure it comes true," she grinned as she turned around to face him for the first time. "And don't ask me what it was, because it won't come true if I tell you."  
  
"That's just superstition, Sydney. Whatever it is, I'll make sure it comes true," he said with a sexy, confident smile. He took a long, appreciative look at her, and her knees turned to jelly as his eyes slowly traveled the length of her body. "Happy Birthday, baby," he said softly.  
  
"It is now," she said as she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close to her. "I can't believe that you did all of this."  
  
He pulled back slightly and looked her in the eyes. "Surely you didn't think I would let your birthday go by without making a big deal of it. I couldn't *not* be with you, today of all days, Sydney. I told you in my card that the next time we saw each other, we'd celebrate properly. I just didn't tell you that the next time we saw each other was going to be tonight," he said, his eyes twinkling with obvious delight at having successfully surprised her.  
  
"You're incredible, do you know that?"  
  
He shrugged modestly before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on her cheek. "That was from my mom."   
  
He wrapped his arms tighter around her and pulled her body back into his, staring at her intently before slowly lowering his mouth onto hers and slipping his tongue inside. She melted into his embrace and ran her fingers through his hair as she kissed him back, impatiently trying to make up for weeks of missing him all at one time. After a lazy, smoldering kiss that seemed to last for hours, but didn't seem nearly long enough, he reluctantly pulled away from her.   
  
"That was from me," he whispered as he rested his forehead against hers.  
  
"Wow. I love your mom, so don't tell her that I said this, but I think I liked your kiss a lot more."  
  
"Well, I hope so," he grinned as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "How is it possible that you look more beautiful every time I see you?"  
  
"I don't know, maybe you're just really horny," she offered with a laugh. "Though you're looking pretty hot yourself, Mr. Vaughn," she said in a low, breathy voice.  
  
"I wanted to look extra pretty for you on your birthday," he joked.   
  
"Oh my god," Sydney groaned as she self-consciously ran a hand through her hair. "Vaughn! Look at me, I'm a mess right now. If I had known I was going to see you, I would have gotten dressed up, or at least thrown on something other than jeans."  
  
"Sydney, please," Vaughn scoffed. "You didn't have to get all dressed up for me. Besides, they're just clothes, they're not going to stay on for very long, anyway," he teased with a seductive smile. His smile grew bigger when he coaxed a smile and a laugh out of her. "That's my girl. God, Syd, the last few weeks have been torture without you."  
  
"Tell me about it," she said with a happy sigh as she leaned back into him and rested her head on his shoulder. "I've missed you so much, Vaughn. I know I'm going to hate myself for asking, but when do you have to go back?"  
  
"Saturday morning," he sighed. "I know. It sucks, but at least you have me here for the next 36 hours, and I promise I'll make them the best 36 hours of your life."  
  
She laughed. "And how exactly do you plan to do that?"  
  
"Do you have to ask?" When she looked into his eyes and saw them burning with desire for her, she knew that she didn't need to ask.  
  
"Hmm, well. Happy Birthday to me," she smirked.  
  
"Oh, you have no idea, Sydney," he whispered as he planted soft kisses along her neck. "No idea. I have all kinds of birthday presents in store for you tonight."  
TBC . . . 


	23. Hypothetical Questions

Hi everyone! As always, thanks for reading. All of your feedback has been so incredible, and I love it. Just to let you know, this chapter has an NC-17 version at alternate sites. If you'd like the link, just drop me a review and let me know. Be sure to include your e-mail address, because the review form doesn't display them.  
  
Chapter 23: "Hypothetical Questions"  
  
"I still can't believe you flew all the way across the country just to spend 36 hours with me," Sydney sighed as Vaughn kissed her neck. His kisses were gentle but insistent and she cocked her head to the side to give him better access.  
  
"I would have flown all the way across the country just to spend 15 minutes with you, Syd."  
  
"How did you know that I wouldn't have plans?" she wondered as he returned his attention to her neck.  
  
"I didn't," he admitted a few moments later when he came up for air. "I just prayed that if you did have plans, you'd ditch them for me," he laughed.  
  
"I totally would have, too," she grinned as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap.  
  
"I know you would have, because I would have made it worth your while," he said with a seductive grin.   
  
He pulled her into another kiss as his thumbs softly grazed the bare skin just above the waist of her jeans. They'd spent the past hour on the couch drinking champagne and making out like teenagers and between the slight buzz from the champagne and the feel of her mouth and body pressed against his, he felt as if he was in heaven. He slid his hands down and began to caress the back of her thighs as she straddled, then moved his hands around to stroke her along the inside of her thighs. As she pulled him deeper into their kiss, he stealthily moved one hand upward until it brushed against her crotch and she moaned into his mouth. The sound was music to his ears after such a long separation from her, and he wanted to hear it again and again. He brushed his hand against her again, applying slightly more pressure, and heard her breath catch in her throat as she pulled away from their kiss and looked him in the eye. She held his gaze as she leaned back slightly, unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans, then took his left hand in hers. She softly kissed his palm before lowering his hand and slipping it inside her jeans. "Touch me," she whispered.  
  
"Don't you want your gifts first?" he breathed, knowing full well that gifts were the furthest things from either of their minds.  
  
"Later. Right now, all I want is you. I *need* you, Vaughn. I've missed you so much," she murmured as she stroked the side of his face. "So start touching me," she ordered with a mischievous glint in her eyes.  
  
"Okay, but I'm warning you that once I start touching you, I might not be able to stop."  
  
"I'll take that risk," she smiled.  
  
*****  
  
An hour later, Sydney took one last bite of birthday cake and set her plate on the nightstand next to the bed before turning her attention back to Vaughn, her eyes twinkling. "So weren't you saying something earlier about gifts?"  
  
"I believe I already gave you your gifts," he said with a raised eyebrow as he licked the last bit of frosting off of his fork.  
  
"Vaughn, *those* don't count as gifts," she laughed. She took his plate from his hands and impatiently set it aside. "I want actual presents right now. I know you have them stashed somewhere around here," she said, craning her neck to look around the bedroom.  
  
He couldn't help but laugh at her childlike enthusiasm. "When I asked you if you wanted your gifts, you said no," he teased.  
  
"I didn't say no, I said *later*, and it's officially later now," she grinned. "C'mon, Vaughn. I want my gifts. Don't make me beg," she pleaded.   
  
"Fine. We'll save the begging for later," he said huskily as he gave her a quick kiss on the nose. As he got up from the bed and walked over to the closet, she admired the way he looked, clad in only navy blue pajama bottoms. She had to admit that she'd already gotten the best birthday gift she could have asked for -- a surprise visit from him. But a girl could never receive too many gifts and when he came back to the bed holding a rectangular box in one hand and a square one in the other, her face lit up.  
  
"God, you should see the look on your face right now, Syd," he laughed. "I don't think I've ever seen you look so excited."  
  
"I know," she smiled. "It's just that you always give me the most amazing gifts and I can't wait to see what's in these."  
  
"Well, have at it," he said as he held them out to her. She took the rectangular one first and eagerly tore open the wrapping paper as he sat back down on the bed facing her. He swept her hair off of one shoulder and softly kissed it as she opened the gift and shook her head firmly.  
  
"You're not gonna distract me, so you can stop trying," she laughed. She tossed the wrapping paper aside, opened the box and smirked when she saw what was inside. She shot him a curious look as she lifted a black lace teddy from the box. Actually, it was so small that she wasn't even sure it could be called a teddy; it looked more like a handkerchief. "This is a gift for me? Because it seems more like a gift for you."  
  
"What?" he asked innocently. "Don't I deserve a gift on your birthday, too?"  
  
She laughed at the pouty look on his face. "I hadn't thought of it that way, but yeah, I guess you do. Happy Birthday, Vaughn," she smirked.  
  
"It will be once I see you in that," he smiled. "Although, to be honest, I kind of like the way you look right now." She was wearing the top to his pajamas and he didn't think she had ever looked sexier.  
  
She leaned forward to kiss him before putting the teddy back in the box and setting it aside. "If you're a good boy, you might get to see me in that before you leave."  
  
"Then I'm going to be on my best behavior, for sure." He watched in amazement as she opened the other box even faster than she'd opened the first one and wrinkled her nose at him. "A desk calendar? How, um, thoughtful of you."  
  
"Gee, don't sound so excited, Syd," he teased. "Maybe you should flip through it."  
  
She quickly flipped through the calendar but stopped when she got to May 23rd, which was circled with a red marker.  
  
"What's happening on May 23rd?"  
  
He leaned forward and touched his forehead to hers. "I'm coming home," he whispered.  
  
"Really? You're coming back for Memorial Day weekend?" she asked excitedly.  
  
"No," he smiled. "I'm coming home. For good."  
  
"Vaughn, no way," she murmured in disbelief. "I thought you weren't supposed to come back until the last week of June."  
  
"I wasn't supposed to, but I worked really hard so I could come back earlier. I didn't want to have to spend a moment longer away from you than absolutely necessary."  
  
"Vaughn," she said, shaking her head in surprise and wonder.  
  
"I'll probably have to fly back to Langley a few times, but it'll just be for a couple of days at a time. Other than that, I'm all yours -- at least in the warehouse," he added, reminding himself that they'd still have to hide their relationship for a while after he returned.  
  
"This is the best news ever," she exclaimed as she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "God, I can't wait until you're back. Who would have thought that a desk calendar would be the best gift I've ever gotten?" she grinned.  
  
"The best gift you've ever gotten? The night's still young, Syd."  
  
She leaned back slightly and looked into his eyes. "You have an awfully high opinion of yourself, Mr. Vaughn."  
  
"I prefer to think of it as being confident in my abilities," he smiled.   
  
"Well, far be it from me to mess with your self-esteem." She smiled back at him and they simply stared at each other for a while in comfortable silence. She couldn't believe that she only had to wait one more month to have him back with her where he belonged.  
  
"What are you thinking about?"  
  
"All the things that I'm going to do to you in the warehouse when you come back," she laughed.  
  
He grinned at her. "You know what I love the most about you, Syd? Your incredibly dirty mind. Marry me?"  
  
"Sure, okay," she giggled. "Do you have a limo standing by to whisk us to Vegas?"  
  
"No, there's no limo," he shook his head.  
  
"A plane? Because I wouldn't put it past you to have a jet waiting at the airport," she teased.  
  
"No, there's no plane either, but that would have been pretty cool, huh?"  
  
"Yeah, that would have been cool," she agreed as he pulled her closer to him.  
  
"So hypothetically, if there had been a limo or a plane, and I *had* taken you to Vegas, would you really have married me?"  
  
"Vaughn!" she laughed.  
  
"What?" he asked innocently. "I'm just asking for research purposes."  
  
She leaned back again and sat on her heels. "Are you sure that you want to be asking me this? 'Cause seriously, after some of the things we've spent the last hour doing, I can hardly think straight, and there's no telling what I might say. So, you'd better be careful about how far you want to take this, because it might be a dangerous conversation to have right now."  
  
"We're CIA agents; we live for danger. I can handle it if you can," he said challengingly.   
  
"Really?" she asked skeptically. "So if I said yes, it wouldn't scare the hell out of you?"  
  
"Yes, as in in, yes, you would have married me?" he smiled.  
  
"I might have," she shrugged, "if you had asked me nicely enough."  
  
He laughed and leaned forward to kiss her softly. "Marry me, Sydney," he whispered. He leaned back and smiled at her again. "Was that nice enough?"  
  
"Nope," she grinned.  
  
He gently pushed her onto her back and pinned her arms above her head, slipping his fingers through hers as he hovered above her and lowered his lips to her neck. She sighed involuntary as he began to cover her neck with soft, wet kisses. "Syd," he murmured.  
  
"Mmm?" she asked, trying not to let him know how crazy he was making her.  
  
"Will you marry me?" He raised himself slightly and smiled back down at her. "Like that?"  
  
She laughed softly and kissed his shoulder. "Yeah, something like -- " she stopped abruptly when she looked up at him, completely taken aback by the intense, serious expression on his face. She gently pushed him off of her and struggled to raise herself onto her elbows. "Okay, we have to stop this now," she said, uncomfortably.  
  
"Syd, what's wrong?" he asked, his eyes filling with concern as he rolled onto his side and leaned on one elbow.  
  
She took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye. "I can't joke with you about this anymore, Vaughn. I don't want to joke with you about this, and you shouldn't want to either." She sat up straighter and ran her fingers through his hair. "One day, I'm going to want you to mean those words, and one day you actually might mean them and I won't even be able to tell that you're being serious," she smiled.   
  
He tilted his head up to her and gave her a gentle kiss. "Sydney, trust me, when I mean it, you'll be able to tell."  
  
"How?" she asked with amusement. "Are you gonna write it across the sky? Send me a message in Morse code? Put it on the jumbotron at a King's game?" she giggled.  
  
"How did I not think of that one?" he smiled. "Come on, Syd. I'm not going to tell you how I'm going to propose to you. That would ruin the surprise, and when the time comes, you're definitely going to be surprised."  
  
"Am I?"   
  
"Definitely."  
  
"How surprised could I possibly be if you're telling me right now that it's going to happen one day?"  
  
"Really surprised," he smiled.  
  
"Okay, whatever, Vaughn," she said dismissively. "Like I said, when the time comes, I'm probably not going to take you seriously."  
  
He took a long look at her and smiled before flopping onto his back. He reached over the side of the bed and pulled something out from underneath it, then took her hand, turning it over until her palm faced upwards. She looked at him in bewilderment until he placed a small black box in her hand.  
  
"Seriously," he said quietly.  
  
"Vaughn, what is this?" she asked as both her voice and her hand began to tremble slightly.  
  
"Open it," he said, nodding toward the box as he drew himself onto his knees and faced her.  
  
"Vaughn," she said, her voice barely a whisper. She looked at him questioningly, not believing that this could actually happening.  
  
"Open it," he said firmly.  
  
She could barely keep her fingers steady as she slowly opened the box. She was holding her breath and her heart was beating wildly, and when she finally saw what was inside, her jaw dropped. Inside the box was a glittering princess cut diamond in a platinum setting.   
  
"Surprised?" Vaughn asked, his eyes twinkling.  
  
A quick laugh escaped her lips as she nodded. "Stunned speechless. Oh my god, Vaughn," she murmured.  
  
He took a deep breath and took the box from her, holding it in his hands and fiddling with it nervously. "I wasn't originally planning to do this. I mean, I was, just not now, not here. I was going to wait until we were in the Maldives and the takedown was behind us and we were finally free. I even had this big, elaborate plan for how I was going to surprise you," he said, looking down at the box.  
  
She raised her hand to her mouth as she struggled to fight back tears.  
  
"But this has been sitting on my dresser for the past few weeks and as I was leaving this morning, I realized that I didn't want to get back and see it still sitting there. I didn't want to go back to Virginia without knowing . . . " he shook his head and smiled at her, "without knowing for sure that one day you're going to be my wife."  
  
"And before you say it, I know that there are so many reasons why I should have waited to ask you. But I can't wait, Syd. I don't want to," he said, shaking his head firmly. "If there's anything I learned from my parents, it's that tomorrow isn't promised, even to people who are crazy about each other. Things happen and circumstances change, especially in our line of work. I know that we've both accepted those risks, but if anything ever happened to me, I wouldn't want to die regretting anything that I did or didn't do in my life, and I realized that if I didn't ask you to marry me tonight, I would regret that forever. Even if I asked you later, I'd regret not asking you sooner.   
  
"So that's what this all comes down to. There are reasons to wait, but I won't. I love you more than I ever knew it was possible to love someone and I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, making you happy.   
  
"So," he said, as he finally let out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding, "will you marry me, Sydney Bristow?"  
  
She looked at him, at the adorable nervous look on his face, and she suddenly felt as if her entire life had been leading up to this moment. She thought her face might crack from the huge smile spreading across it. "Yes," she whispered.  
  
"Yes?" he asked in quiet amazement.  
  
"Yes!" she laughed. "Yes, of course, I'll marry you." She took his face in her hands and looked at him disbelievingly. "Were you honestly afraid that I might say no?"  
  
"A little," he admitted, "but only because I was so desperate for you to say yes -- and you did," he said in a soft voice filled with awe.  
  
"Yeah, I did," she nodded. "Oh my god! Vaughn, we're getting married," she breathed, grinning deliriously as the realization struck her.  
  
"I can't wait." He smiled and shook his head slowly as he removed the ring from the box and held it between his fingers for a moment. "I know that you're not going to be able to wear this once we leave this room on Saturday morning," he said as he took her left hand and slowly slipped it on her ring finger. "But on the day that SD-6 goes down, I'm going to put it back on your finger and then it's never coming off again."   
  
She nodded silently and caressed the side of his face as he finished slipping it on. When he was done, she looked down at her hand, in awe of the gorgeous diamond now shining on her fourth finger.  
  
"Sydney," he said as he placed a finger under her chin and tilted her face up to his, "I love you with all my heart and all my soul. I always will, I promise you that."  
  
"I know," she said softly. "Do you have any idea how much I love you, how much I absolutely adore you? Because if you don't, I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing you, proving it to you."  
  
*****  
  
A half hour later, Sydney stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a fluffy hotel bathrobe. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and could hardly believe the huge grin on her face. She tried to remember a single moment in her life when she had ever felt this happy, but she couldn't.  
  
"Mr. and Mrs. Michael Vaughn," she whispered as she quickly ran a comb through her wet hair. She absolutely loved how that sounded and she shook her head and laughed at her own giddy excitement.  
  
When she was done combing her hair, she stepped out of the bathroom and walked out to the front room of the suite where Vaughn had just opened the door for the room service waiter. Just before their shower, they both realized that they were starving. They'd been so wrapped up in each other ever since her arrival that they hadn't had anything to eat other than birthday cake, and they laughed together as they ordered seemingly everything on the menu.  
  
"Wow. Whose birthday is it?" the waiter asked when he noticed the balloons and birthday cake sitting on the table.  
  
"My fiance's," Vaughn replied. He looked over at Sydney and they both smiled at how easily the word rolled off of his tongue.  
  
"Well Happy Birthday. Thank you," the waiter said as Vaughn tipped him and he left the room. Vaughn closed the door behind him and walked back over to Sydney who was eagerly lifting the metal tops from all of the plates spread across the table. She smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and lowered his chin onto her shoulder.  
  
"You're my fiance," he laughed, as if the enormity of the word just struck him.  
  
"Damn straight, buddy," she nodded. "Do you have any idea what you've gotten yourself into?"  
  
"Just everything that I've ever wanted," he replied confidently. He sat in a chair and pulled her down onto his lap as she popped a strawberry into his mouth.  
  
"God, I can't believe this night," she murmured as she picked up a fork and twirled angel hair pasta around it. "I have to say that this birthday has totally kicked the ass of every other one that came before it."  
  
"Yeah?" he asked as she fed him the pasta.  
  
"Definitely. First the surprise of you being here, then the surprise of finding out that you're coming home sooner than expected, then the *huge*, shocking surprise of you asking me to marry you, and now eating room service at midnight in our bathrobes. What's better than that?" she smiled.  
  
"What we did a little while ago was pretty amazing," he said as he nuzzled her neck.  
  
"Oh yeah, that too," she grinned. "When we're an old married couple, do you think that we'll still be going at it like bunnies all the time?"  
  
"Definitely. I believe in doing everything in moderation except when it comes to you, Syd. I'll never be able to get enough of you," he smiled. "Did you know that during mating season, lions can have sex up to three hundred times in a day?"  
  
She giggled. "I don't even want to know why that completely random bit of information just popped into your head, but we are not lions, Vaughn."  
  
"Yeah, I'm aware of that," he said with mock exasperation. "I just remembered seeing that on one of those nature specials once and it blew my mind. Luckily for them, the mating season only lasts for four days at a time. If it lasted any longer, they wouldn't have the energy to do anything else. What?" he smiled when he noticed her staring at him.  
  
"Nothing. I just love you," she shook her head. "I love it that you know all these random, useless facts about nothing, and I love it that you're always making all of these grand romantic gestures, and I love that when you look at me, I feel like the only woman in the world. I love everything about you, Vaughn, and I love knowing that I'm going to be your wife one day."  
  
"Speaking of which . . . how long do you want to wait before that day comes?"  
  
"I don't know," she shrugged. "I haven't had a lot of time to think about it yet. Obviously it's going to have to be some time after July."  
  
"Or it could be *in* July," he said slowly.  
  
"It can't be in July, Vaughn. We're going on vacation," she reminded him.  
  
"I know," he said with a meaningful look.  
  
"You want to get married in the Maldives?" she asked with surprise.  
  
"It's a thought," he shrugged. "We couldn't ask for a more romantic setting, and the resort performs weddings all the time."  
  
"Yeah, but we can't get married there," she shook her head.  
  
"Why? Is it too soon?" he asked, hoping that she didn't think he was rushing her.  
  
"No, it's not too soon," she said quickly, trying to reassure him. "Vaughn, it's not a matter of timing. I mean, I would marry you right now if that were my only concern. It's just that we can't ask everyone to fly off to the Maldives with us. It's kind of impractical," she smiled.  
  
"So?"  
  
"So?" she laughed as she mimicked him. "Don't you want your mom to be there? Because I do. Not to mention my dad and Will and Francie and Weiss. Seriously, we can't get married without them being there. And actually," she said as she took a breath, "I think that I might want a lot more people to be there, like your family and your hockey buddies and my friends from school. Even Kendall."  
  
"Kendall?" Vaughn laughed disbelievingly. "I'm sorry, I have to draw the line with Kendall," he joked.  
  
"Yes, I even want Kendall to be there."  
  
"Fine, but only because I love you so much," he relented. "I never really imagined you as the big wedding type, Syd."  
  
"Neither did I," she admitted. "It's just that the entire existence of our relationship has been a secret. There are only five people in the world who know that I love you, and that's not nearly enough. I want everyone to know," she smiled. "So after keeping this big, classified secret for so long, it would just be really nice to be surrounded by all the people that we care about on the day that we get married."  
  
"You're right," he smiled. "That day should definitely be a big deal."  
  
"The biggest," she agreed as she leaned in to kiss him. She already couldn't wait.  
  
TBC . . . 


	24. Closure

Hi everyone! A few people with AOL e-mail addresses asked for links to the NC-17 version of Chapter 23. When I tried to send the e-mail, it kept getting bounced back, so sorry if you asked for it but didn't receive it. You can read it at: http://smashed-peaches.net/cover/fic/jil-afterlong23nc.html   
  
Enjoy the new chapter!  
  
Chapter 24: "Closure"  
  
Vaughn walked out of the bathroom and smiled at the sight before him. Sydney was laying in bed, holding her left hand in front of her face, admiring the ring he'd given her the night before. After a few moments, she noticed him watching her and quickly pulled her hand down.  
  
"You caught me," she said with a embarrassed smile.  
  
"Caught you what?" he asked as he got back in bed next to her.  
  
"Staring at my ring. I know -- it's such a 'girl' thing to do, but I can't help it. It's so gorgeous and I still can't believe that we're engaged. I keep looking at the ring to convince myself that this is real."  
  
"It's real, Sydney," he assured her as he drew slow circles across her stomach with his fingers. "If it's not, then what did we just spend half the day in bed celebrating?"  
  
She grinned at him. "I thought you were just in a good mood because the Kings won last night." He laughed and she snuggled up next to him and laid her head on his shoulder with a happy sigh. Sydney had called in sick to SD-6 that morning so she could spend the day with him, and since they couldn't be seen in public together, they had spent the entire day lazing around in their suite, talking, watching movies and "celebrating" their engagement. Sydney couldn't remember ever being so happy, and was trying to soak up every remaining minute with him before he left to go back to Virginia. As they quietly laid together and he softly stroked her along the length of her arm, she knew that he was doing the same thing.  
  
"When did you buy this?" she asked as she went back to staring at the ring again.  
  
"The day that you left Virginia to come back to L.A."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah. Having you there with me that week felt so incredible. And my mom loved you and I loved you, and by the time you left, I knew that I was ready to commit to you. So, a few minutes after your taxi pulled away, I hopped in my car and went to the jeweler."  
  
"Wow. That's . . . that's amazing."  
  
"So are you," he smiled. "So, if we could actually tell people that we were engaged, who would be the first person you'd want to tell?"  
  
She considered it for a few moments. "Probably your mom."  
  
"Really? I thought for sure you'd say Francie."  
  
"Well, of course, I'd want to tell her too, but I just think that out of everyone that we know, your mom would be the most excited."  
  
"You're right," he agreed. "She's going to be thrilled."  
  
"I adore your mom. I can't believe that she's going to be my mother-in-law." She raised her head from his shoulder and looked at him. "Listen, I know we agreed that for the time being we wouldn't tell anyone that we're getting married, but if you want to tell your mom, it's okay. I know we can trust her to keep it a secret."  
  
"Yeah we can, but when I tell her, I want you there next to me. I know that you want that too, even if you're too selfless to admit it." She smiled and leaned down to kiss him.  
  
"Yeah, I do want to be there with you," she admitted. "I'd love to see the look on her face, but I'd also understand if you couldn't wait."  
  
"I can't wait to tell her, but I will," he shrugged. "I've done a lot of waiting in the past two years; I'm used to it. Besides, if you're there with me when I tell her, my mom will probably be on her best behavior and *won't* start suggesting names for her future grandchildren," he laughed. "I don't think she'd want to scare you with her psycho-grandma act."  
  
"Vaughn! Come on, she's not that bad and you know it. She just wants to be a grandmother and there's nothing wrong with that. And anyway, the thought of having her grandchildren with you doesn't scare me at all."  
  
"No?" he smiled.  
  
"No. I just hope that all of our kids have your eyes."  
  
"No, I want them to look just like you and have my prowess with a hockey stick."  
  
"Oh god," she groaned. "You want us to have our own little hockey team, don't you? With Donovan as the mascot!"  
  
"No I don't," he laughed. "Honestly, Syd, it doesn't matter to me how many kids we have. We could have six or none, or anything in between. It doesn't matter as long as I have you."  
  
"You'll always have me," she promised.   
  
"Good, because you're all I need," he said as he absently twirled a lock of her hair around his finger. Despite his desire to have a family with her, he knew that he could absolutely be happy if they spent the rest of their lives along together. He just needed to be with her, no matter what.   
  
"So, speaking of people who can keep a secret, are you going to tell your dad?"  
  
"No," she laughed. Vaughn looked at her questioningly and she shook her head to set him at ease. "Don't worry, I'm not trying to hide it from him. It's just that you've been gone ever since he found out about us -- he hasn't even had a chance to give you the 'I'll kill you if you hurt my daughter' speech yet. I figure we should let him get that out of the way first before we hit him with the news that we're getting married."  
  
"Yeah, you're probably right," Vaughn laughed. "I'm sure there's a smaller chance of him killing me if we give him time to adjust to the thought of us being together when I get back."   
  
"I agree. See? I'm just thinking of you and your well-being, honey," she said sweetly.  
  
"What would I ever do without you, Snookums?" he joked, causing her to make a face.  
  
"Don't ever call me that again -- not even in jest," she laughed.  
  
"Okay, whatever you say, Honeybear."  
  
"Vaughn!" she whined in protest as she lightly smacked him on the chest. "Okay, the first rule of our marriage is: no pet names for each other. *Ever*," she emphasized. "Honey and Sweetie are fine, but Snookums makes me break out in hives."  
  
"Me too. You know I was just teasing you. I didn't think we were going to start setting the ground rules this early, though."  
  
"Neither did I, but that's a really important one," she grinned. "You can make one too," she said solicitously."  
  
"How gracious of you," he smirked. "Okay, Rule Two -- we never go to bed angry at each other without having really hot sex first."  
  
Sydney fixed him with a mock stern look and propped herself up on one elbow. "Are you taking this at all seriously?" she laughed.  
  
"Of course I am. I'm totally serious. We should never go to bed angry at each other as a general rule, but there's definitely no way I could stay angry with you after making love to you, thus preserving the harmonious balance of our relationship."  
  
She looked at him in astonishment. "Sometimes the way your mind works scares me, Vaughn."  
  
"Yeah, but it turns you on too," he smiled as he caressed her shoulder.  
  
"Maybe just a little bit," she admitted as she placed a gentle kiss over his heart. After a few more kisses across his chest, she looked up at him with a lascivious smile. "Rule Three -- you can't wear clothes around the house."  
  
"God, you're such a sex fiend!" he laughed.  
  
"What?" she asked innocently. "I'm just thinking of the environment. The fewer clothes you wear, the less laundry that has to be done, which will save who-knows-how many gallons of water, not to mention the plastic containers that the detergent comes in."  
  
"You're unbelievable, Syd," he said, shaking his head  
  
She rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Please. I fail to see how that's any worse than your Anger Sex edict. Besides, it would be a shame to cover up your body unnecessarily, and what's the point of putting on clothes if I'm just going to want to take them off all the time anyway?"  
  
"But that could actually be fun," he said with twinkling eyes.  
  
"And *I'm* the sex fiend?" she laughed. "Whatever. Maybe we should save the rest of this conversation for a time when we're *not* laying naked in bed."  
  
"That's probably a good idea. Besides, we don't have to figure out everything right this minute. We have all the time in the world together -- the rest of our lives."  
  
"Yeah we do," she sighed. "It's so nice to be able to think in terms of the future again. There haven't been many times in the last two years when I've let myself do that."  
  
"I know, but those days are over, Syd." He wrapped a strong arm around her and kissed her forehead. "It's okay to let yourself believe that this *is* going to end."  
  
"I know," she said quickly. "I'm counting on it."  
  
"But you're scared." After all the time that he'd spent as her handler, he could tell when she was putting up a brave front for him.  
  
She sighed and momentarily wished that he wasn't always so perceptive. This was supposed to be a happy time for them and the last thing she wanted to do was ruin the mood by telling him about her fears. He, however, was looking expectantly at her and she knew that he wouldn't just let it drop if he sensed she was uptight or unhappy.   
  
"Vaughn, I know it sounds horribly pessimistic when we have so much to look forward to together, but sometimes I can't help but be afraid that just when everything seems perfect, we're going to get blindsided and it's all going to fall apart. It's not even that I'm afraid of what's going to happen with SD-6; if the takedown doesn't go as planned, I can deal with that. But the thought of losing you now terrifies me.  
  
"Syd, I'm not going anywhere," he said reassuringly. "Except back to Virginia tomorrow morning," he added with a wry laugh.  
  
"See, but that's just it. You're going to be all the way across the country where I won't be with you, where I can't see you and know for sure that you're okay, and I hate that. I'll feel better when you're back in L.A., but even then, I won't feel completely at ease until we're laying on the beach in the Maldives. Then, I think I'll finally be able to let myself relax and believe that everything's going to be okay. But don't mind me. I'm just being a paranoid freak right now," she said with an apologetic smile.  
  
"No you're not."  
  
"Yeah, I am. It's just that I'm so close to having everything that I want that I'm afraid that it's all too good to be true and that something's going to screw it up."  
  
"And that's completely understandable, but Syd, there's nothing too good to be true about our relationship. Even if it feels that way sometimes, we've had to go through so much to be together and we've earned it. Nothing's going to ruin that. We won't let it."  
  
"You're right, we won't."  
  
She looked at the resolve in his eyes and instantly felt her worries begin to dissolve. It never failed to amaze her how much better Vaughn could make her feel about any situation. Even when she was at her pessimistic and uptight worst, he could calm her down with one look into his tranquil green eyes. Over the past two years, she had come to depend so much on his ability to do that.   
  
"What would I ever do without you?" she smiled.  
  
"Let's never find out, okay?"  
  
"Deal," she whispered. She moved on top of him and stretched her body along the length of his, feeling fireworks begin to explode in her nerve endings from the feeling of his skin against hers. She kissed him long and slowly until neither of them could stand it anymore and the kiss intensified in hunger. If she only had a few more hours alone with him, she wasn't willing to waste another minute worrying about the future. All that mattered at the moment was that he was there and he was all hers.  
  
*****  
  
"What?" Sydney asked the next morning as she self-consciously brushed a hand across her face.  
  
"Nothing." Vaughn smiled as he ran his hands along her hips. For the last minute, he had been watching her intently as she buttoned up his shirt and although she was enjoying the view from her own vantage point, she was beginning to wonder what he was so fascinated by.  
  
"Why are you staring at me?" she nervously asked. He took her hands in his and raised them to his mouth, kissing each one.  
  
"I'm not staring at you, I'm *looking* at you, and I'm doing that because you're so damn beautiful."  
  
She smiled and threaded her fingers through his as she leaned in to kiss him. "You are too."  
  
"Not like you." He moved over to the bed and sat down, pulling her between his legs and wrapping his arms around her waist. He rested his head against her stomach with a small sigh, knowing that he only had a few more minutes with her before he had to leave for the airport. "I'm not ready to leave you yet."  
  
"You say that as if you might be ready to leave me at some point in the future," she laughed. "For what it's worth, I'm not ready to let you go either." She raked her fingers through his hair and looked down at him, in awe of how much their relationship had changed in the past two days. She'd been in love with him before his birthday surprise, but what she felt for him now was so much stronger than she ever could have imagined. She felt an almost overwhelming need to be with him and take care of him now and she hated knowing that she wouldn't be able to do either of those things while he was in Virginia.  
  
"I love you," she said quietly.   
  
"I know." He kissed her left hand and grinned up at her. "I don't think I need to tell you how much I love you."  
  
"I don't know. I might need a little bit of convincing," she teased.  
  
"You wouldn't if you knew how much I spent on this ring," he laughed. He stood up from the bed and cupped his hands around her face before giving her a slow, smoldering kiss. "I love you, Sydney. You're my world."  
  
She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly as she struggled to fight back tears. The ache inside her was already palpable and he hadn't even left yet.   
  
"Call me as soon as you get home -- no, as soon as you get off of the plane."  
  
"Are you sure you don't want me to call and give you a minute by minute update on our flight pattern?" he teased.  
  
"Don't laugh at me, Vaughn." She playfully slapped him on the arm as she pulled back from him. "I just want to know that you made it back safely."  
  
"I'll call you the minute the plane lands, I promise," he said solemnly.   
  
"And promise me that this is going to be the last time I ever have to say good bye to you for such a long time."  
  
"I promise that too. I won't ever let anything take me away from you for this long again."  
  
"Good. Tell your mom that I said hi and that I miss her."  
  
"I will. Tell Weiss that I said hi and that Donovan misses him." She laughed and he suddenly realized how much he was going to miss hearing that sound for the next five weeks. "I don't need to tell you to take care of yourself, do I?"  
  
"No. I have every reason in the world to be extra careful now," she smiled.  
  
"Yeah, you do, because I can't wait to marry you, Syd. I've felt like the luckiest man alive ever since you said yes."  
  
"As if I would have said anything else. Do you know the first time that I imagined what it would be like to marry you?"  
  
"No, when?"  
  
"On our second day in Lake Tahoe, when you took me on that sleigh ride and the driver asked if we were married. You said 'not yet' like there wasn't a doubt in your mind that one day we would be, and I just remember being so excited by the thought of being your wife. You could have asked me to marry you then and I would have said yes."  
  
"If I had known that, I would have asked you then."  
  
She smiled and shook her head. "Actually, I'm glad that you didn't because this was perfect, everything about the way that you asked me was perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better surprise or a better birthday present, so thank you."  
  
"Sydney, don't ever thank me for making you as happy as you deserve to be."  
  
"Okay, as long as you let me do the same for you." She was just about to lean in for another kiss when the telephone interrupted them. She groaned as Vaughn broke away from her to answer it. She already knew that it was the phone call she'd been dreading for the last few minutes.  
  
"My cab's downstairs," Vaughn sighed as he walked back to her. "I've got to go for now, but when I come back," he said with a sexy grin, "You. Me. Warehouse. Be ready."  
  
"Oh, I'll be ready, trust me. You, on the other hand, might want to rest up for a couple of days before you come home."  
  
"You *are* my home, Sydney. I love you. Be good, okay?"  
  
"I'll try. Hurry up and come back to me," she murmured as she wrapped him in a tight hug.  
  
"I will." He ran his hand along the side of her face and gave her one last dizzying kiss before he grabbed his bag and turned to go. She stood in the doorway of their room and watched as he walked to the elevator and gave her a small wave before getting on. She moved back inside and shut the door with a heavy sigh as she leaned against it and closed her eyes. She could already feel the empty void inside her that was created by his absence and she had no idea how she was going to survive the next month without him.  
  
*****  
  
"Sydney, you're home! God, I've been wondering where you've been," Francie exclaimed as she wrapped her best friend in a huge hug.  
  
"Hey! What are you doing back already? I thought you weren't coming home until later this afternoon."  
  
"I wasn't supposed to, but I came back yesterday afternoon. I love my family, but I realized that I love them more in small doses," she laughed. "Anyway, Happy Belated Birthday."  
  
"Thank you," Sydney said as she followed Francie into the living room. On the way, she hurriedly removed her engagement ring and shoved it in her pocket, trying to ignore the stab of pain that she felt in her heart when she did it.  
  
"Sooo," Francie grinned slyly as they flopped onto the couch. "Where have you been and why were you out all night?"  
  
"I was, um . . . " Even with all of her spy training, she couldn't think of a decent lie. She didn't even want to. "I was just out."  
  
"Out with a guy?" Francie asked excitedly when she saw Sydney struggling to come up with an answer. "Oh my god, you were, weren't you?"  
  
"Yes, I was with a guy," Sydney sighed. She simply didn't have the energy or motivation to make up a story.  
  
"You haven't mentioned anything about a guy lately. Who is he?"  
  
"Someone that I work with. I haven't said anything about it because we're not supposed to be seeing each other. We work in the same department and it's kind of forbidden."  
  
"Forbidden? That just makes it hotter," Francie laughed. Sydney smiled but shrugged noncommittally. The fact that she and Vaughn had to sneak around with each other had never excited her. In fact, she hated it and couldn't wait for the day when it would no longer be necessary.   
  
"So am I ever going to meet this guy?"  
  
"Maybe in a couple of months," Sydney smiled. "I might be switching to another department and if I do, he and I won't have to hide our relationship anymore."  
  
"So it's an actual *relationship*, and not just a sex thing?"  
  
Sydney bit down on the inside of her mouth to keep from laughing at Francie's question. She loved Vaughn more than anything, but they did seem to spend a disproportionate amount of their time together in bed. "Let's just say that it's a relationship with a lot of sex thrown in," she smiled.  
  
"Ooh, that's the best kind of relationship," Francie laughed. "So is it serious? Do you really like this guy?"  
  
"Yes, it's serious," Sydney said softly. "I'm in love with him, Fran."   
  
"Sydney," Francie gasped. "You're in love? That is so wonderful and even though I haven't gotten the chance to meet this guy yet, I'm sure that he's wonderful too."  
  
"He is. He's incredible and I can't wait until you meet him. I just know that the two of you are going to really like each other. But do me a favor and don't say anything about this to Will, okay?" Even though Will already knew about her relationship with Vaughn, the last thing she wanted was for him and Francie to compare notes about what they each knew.  
  
"Of course I won't tell him. I couldn't bear to break his heart that way. I promise that I'll be on my best behavior when we go to dinner tonight and I won't mention it."  
  
"Thanks, Francie," Sydney smiled as she glanced down at her watch. "Listen, Will's going to be here in a couple of hours and there's something that I need to go do. So I'm going to go now, but I'll be back soon."  
  
"Okay. See you in a little while," Francie called as Sydney left the apartment.  
  
A short while later, Sydney sat in her car attempting to steady her nerves. She had been putting off what she was about to do for a while, but she knew that she couldn't put it off any longer. It was definitely time. She grabbed the bouquet of daisies sitting on the passenger seat and took a deep breath as she got out of the car. She quickly walked across the manicured lawn until she reached a headstone that read: Daniel Hecht.   
  
She stood awkwardly for a moment before she sank down onto the grass and sat back on her heels. A wave of conflicting emotions ran through her as she leaned forward to run her fingers across his name. She fumbled around in the pockets of her jacket and removed a bug killer that her father had given her shortly after Danny's death. A momentary surge of hatred welled inside her when she remembered how he had warned her that SD-6 might have planted listening devices at Danny's grave. She took a deep breath, however, and quickly composed herself; the last thing she wanted to do right now was think about Sloane.  
  
"Hi Danny," she said softly. "I know it's been a while since I've been here and I don't really have an excuse for that. I've just gotten so wrapped up lately in work and . . . other things." She closed her eyes for a moment and sighed deeply. "Actually, that's not true. The real reason that I haven't come here in a while is because I knew that I might feel guilty if I did. And I do, at least a little bit, but there's something important that I need to tell you.  
  
"I met someone," she began as she nervously twisted her hands in her lap. After you died, I didn't think that I would ever get involved with someone again; I didn't think that I would ever want to. I was hurt and angry and all that I cared about was getting revenge on the people who took you away from me. The only thing that mattered to me was making them pay and I still want that. I still want to see them suffer, but I'm not really driven by revenge anymore. I think I'm . . ." She anxiously ran her fingers through her hair and shook her head in frustration.   
  
"I don't know how to say this right, so I'm just going to say it. When I started trying to bring SD-6 down, I met someone who's been my friend and my ally and the person who's kept me sane even though everything in my life is crazy. He's stood by me every step of the way and encouraged me whenever I've felt like giving up. He made me realize back when this first started that I needed to go on living my life even though it wasn't the life I'd chosen for myself. He showed me that I could trust him and depend on him, and somewhere along the way, I realized that I was in love with him.  
  
"There have been times when I've felt really guilty about the fact that I've been able to move forward with my life and be with someone else so soon after your death, but then there are other times when I think that that's exactly what you would have wanted me to do. I know that you would have wanted me to find someone else that I could love and be happy with and I think I've found him -- I know I have," she corrected herself.   
  
"His name is Michael and he's . . . he's just amazing," she smiled. "He's such a good person and he makes me a better person. I like to think that I make him a better person too, but he was already pretty terrific when I met him, so maybe not," she said with a small laugh.  
  
"The reason that I'm telling you all of this," she swallowed nervously, "is because he asked me to marry him and I said yes. Ever since he asked me, I've been so thrilled and excited, but there's been a tiny voice in the back of my mind reminding me of you. Reminding me that he and I are going to have all the things that I thought I was going to have with you -- a life together and a family, all of the things that you wanted so much.   
  
"At first, I thought it was wrong to be so excited about having all of those things with him when I never got that chance with you, but as I'm sitting here now, I realize that maybe the best way for me to honor your memory is to take advantage of and appreciate the second chance that I've been given. And in a weird way, I think that you were the one who gave me that second chance.  
  
"There are a lot of things about Michael's life and my life that make me think that it wasn't an accident that we met, but at the same time, I'm not sure that we ever would have met and fallen in love if it hadn't been for you. So I almost feel like I should thank you for helping me find him. I don't like to think that you had to die for us to find each other, but I think that maybe you sent him to me so I could be happy again.   
  
"So, I just wanted to thank you for that and tell you that no matter what happens, you will always have a very special place in my heart and I will always love you. You taught me so much while you were alive, but losing you has taught me that I can't take happiness for granted. I can't take Michael and his life for granted, and I won't. Instead, I'm going to treasure every day that I get with him, the way I wish that I'd done with you.  
  
Sydney touched her fingers to her lips and then pressed them on the top of the headstone as she stood back up. Before she came, she hadn't been sure what she was going to say, but she was happy and satisfied with what had come out. She realized that she had finally made peace with Danny's death and the way that it had led her to Vaughn. She felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders and she was free to give her whole heart to Vaughn without feeling that she was betraying Danny's memory. She would probably never tell Vaughn about what she'd just done, but she knew that she would always remember this as the moment that set her free and allowed her to fully commit herself to being his wife.  
  
*****  
  
". . . so she jumped up and ran out of the room and didn't come back for the rest of the day. Just left her purse and all her belongings at her desk and never came back for them."  
  
"Whatever, Will," Francie laughed. "You're lying."  
  
"I swear that I'm telling the truth. The rest of us were cracking up about it for the rest of the day."  
  
Sydney smiled as they entered the apartment after returning from dinner. Will had been cracking them up during the ride home with stories about his co-workers at the "travel magazine."  
  
"Hey guys, before we do the whole cake thing, I'm going to go change, okay?"  
  
"Who said anything about cake?" Francie asked, looking at Will with a blank expression on her face.  
  
"Give it up you guys," Sydney laughed. "Every year you get me one of those German Chocolate cakes from Manny's that I love so much. Don't try to pretend that you didn't do the same thing this year too."   
  
"We've really got to stop being so predictable, Fran," Will grinned.  
  
"See, I knew it," Sydney crowed as she kissed Will on the cheek. "I'll be back in a few minutes."   
  
She walked into her bedroom and as soon as the door was closed behind her, she reached into the pocket of her skirt and pulled out her ring. She sighed happily as she slipped it on her finger and began getting undressed. It was weird, but even after only two days, she felt naked when she wasn't wearing it, a feeling that she was obviously going to have to get used to over the next two months. She pulled a pair of sweat pants from one of her dresser drawers, and was just about to put them on when her cellphone rang.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey. I'm getting my bag out of the overhead storage bin and now I'm walking down the aisle of the plane, and I just -- Thanks, I had a great flight -- and I just said good bye to the flight attendants, and now I'm walking up the jetway."  
  
"Shut up, Vaughn," she laughed. "I can't believe you're making fun of me for being concerned about whether you made it back safely."  
  
"I'm just having a little fun at your expense, that's all."  
  
"Great. Is this what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life?"  
  
"Yep," he laughed.  
  
"Fabulous," she deadpanned. "Listen, I know you're rushing through the airport and Francie and Will are waiting for me, so I'll let you go. I'm just glad that you made it back safely. Be careful on your way home, okay?"  
  
"I will. I love you. I'll talk to you soon."  
  
"Okay. I love you, too. Bye."  
  
After she hung up the phone, she quickly threw on her clothes, knowing that Francie and Will were probably wondering what in the hell had happened to her.   
  
"Hey, I'm back," she said breathlessly as she walked down the hall to the kitchen. Francie and Will were standing next to the counter smiling as she saw the birthday cake next to them.  
  
"Happy Birthday!" they both yelled.   
  
"Thanks, guys," she smiled.  
  
"Okay, hurry up and blow out the candles and make a wish -- and it had better be a good one," Francie admonished.  
  
Sydney shook her head and smiled, knowing that nothing she could wish for would ever top what she'd gotten from Vaughn two nights ago. But for Francie and Will's sake, she made a big show of blowing out the candles.  
  
"So what did you wish for?" Will asked as Francie stood across the kitchen cutting the cake.   
  
"I can't tell you," Sydney scoffed.  
  
"Let me guess, it had something to do with Vaughn," he said in a low voice.  
  
"What makes you think that?"  
  
"I don't know. Maybe the fact that you've become such a big Dartmouth hockey fan in the last few weeks," he teased, nodding at her sweatshirt. She blushed and he smiled back at her. "That, and I know how much you've missed him since he's been gone."  
  
"I have missed him," she acknowledged, "but my wish wasn't about him."  
  
"Then what -- "  
  
"Will! It won't come true if I tell you," she said as she walked over to grab a piece of cake from Francie. She wasn't sure that she believed in that superstition, but she wasn't taking any chances with this wish. If she was going to spend a birthday wish on Arvin Sloane, it had damned sure better come true.  
  
*****  
  
Sloane sat in his study, reading an analyst's report about the newest Rambaldi artifact that SD-6 had recovered. He was engrossed in the report when his secure phone line rang.  
  
"Arvin Sloane," he answered.  
  
"Mr. Sloane, it's Ryan Nelson. I'm sorry to bother you at home, sir."  
  
"Is there a problem?"  
  
"I'm not sure. It may not be anything to worry about, but when Agent Bristow called in sick yesterday, we conducted a standard surveillance check of her apartment. We didn't see any signs that anyone was present there until her roommate returned yesterday evening. In fact, a check of the phone logs showed that when she called in sick, she wasn't calling from her home phone number."  
  
"Where did she call from?" Sloane asked suspiciously.   
  
"We don't know. We couldn't trace the origination of the call and we don't know where she was. Like I said though, it may not mean anything. I was just calling to find out whether it's something I should follow up on."  
  
"No. No, don't bother. Thursday was Agent Bristow's birthday and I'm sure that she probably just celebrated too much and wasn't in the best shape to come in yesterday. I'll speak with her about in on Monday morning, but you shouldn't concern yourself with it."  
  
"Very well, sir. Goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight, Agent Nelson."   
  
Sloane stared at the phone for several moments after he hung it up. He was sure that there was a good explanation for why Security Section hadn't been able to verify that Sydney was at home sick yesterday -- at least he hoped so. He would be sure to get to the bottom of it on Monday.  
  
TBC . . . 


	25. Wish You Were Here

Chapter 25: "Wish You Were Here"  
  
"So, remind me again why we're down here," Vaughn muttered as he moved dusty boxes around his mother's basement.  
  
"Michael," Elise sighed, "I told you that I'm trying to find the* box with your old baby clothes."  
  
"Which begs the question, why did you keep my old baby clothes?"  
  
Elise shrugged. "I don't know. Sentimental reasons mostly."  
  
Vaughn looked up from the boxes just in time to catch the wistful expression on his mother's face before it was replaced with a tiny frown. He hesitated for a moment before asking his mother the question that had just popped into his mind.  
  
"Did you and Dad ever want to have more children?"  
  
Elise smiled and her eyes took on a far-away look. "We talked about it a lot for a couple of years after you were born, but that was just around the time that both your father and I were finally starting to reach our professional goals. I was taking on a lot more responsibility at the firm and your father was advancing so quickly at the agency that we were both satisfied with the way things were already. We had our jobs and each other and the most adorable little boy, and we were happy with that. We agreed that maybe we would have more kids after I made partner and he left the field, but obviously we never got the chance."  
  
Vaughn studied his mother for a moment, in awe of the quiet composure she always had whenever she talked about his father. He couldn't imagine how he would ever keep it together if Sydney died, and that made him admire her remarkable strength even more.  
  
"You know, if I had it to do all over again," she said thoughtfully, "I wouldn't have been so focused on my career. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed my professional life, but sometimes I think that it would have been nice to have had more children, more reminders of your father.   
  
"Then again, I can't imagine that anyone could remind me of him as much as you do and, in a way, I always liked that it was just the two of us after he was gone. I'm not sure that our relationship would be as close as it is if you had a brother or a sister. What made you ask if we wanted more children?" she asked curiously.  
  
"I don't know. I guess I was just wondering if the reason that you kept my baby clothes was because you thought that you might need them again one day."  
  
"Hmm. That may have been in the back of my mind thirty years ago, but consciously, I just kept them to remind me of your childhood. But what are all of these question about, Michael? Did you used to wish that you had siblings?"  
  
"Sometimes," Vaughn shrugged. "But every time we went to France or Pennsylvania, there were always so many cousins running around that it felt like having siblings. It was nice for a few weeks at a time, but it actually made me appreciate being an only child," he laughed.  
  
"Oh, you just enjoyed being an only child because I spoiled you," Elise grinned. She freely admitted that since the day he was born, she had showered her only child with affection and given him everything he wanted. Thankfully, instead of turning out to be a spoiled brat, he had grown to be a caring, responsible gentleman. She couldn't have asked for a better or more devoted son, and she couldn't wait to see what kind of father he would be to his own children one day.  
  
"You should have known better than to open the door to a discussion about children, Michael," she laughed. "But not that you have, how many children do you think you want to have?"  
  
Vaughn shook his head and smiled. "You'd die if I said none, wouldn't you?" Elise gave him a dirty look and he held his hands up in mock surrender. "Actually, I'd like two or three, but it's not really up to me since I won't be the one giving birth, is it?"  
  
"Never let it be said that I didn't raise an intelligent son," Elise smiled. "Speaking of my future grandchildren," she began casually, "how is Sydney?"  
  
"What does one topic have to do with the other?" Vaughn asked, feigning ignorance.  
  
"Michael, please. You went all the way to L.A. for less than two days just to surprise her for her birthday. It's not such a crazy leap to think that you might decide to ask her to marry you one day."  
  
"Maybe," he said with a noncommittal shrug as he turned his head away from her and tried to suppress the smile growing across his face.  
  
"Well, it was terribly sweet of you to surprise her that way and I'm sure that she appreciated it. I can't even imagine how much the two of you must miss each other."  
  
"*I** couldn't have imagined how much I would miss her. When I decided to take the assignment here, I didn't realize how difficult it would be to be away from her. I mistakenly thought that the months would just fly by, but I couldn't have been more wrong. Being away from her is wrong," he frowned as he picked up another box and moved it out of the way.  
  
"Well, I can't believe that I'm saying this, because I've loved every minute that you've been here, but I'll actually be very happy for both you and Sydney when you go back home."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes, because it's obvious how desperately you want to be with her. All I want is for you to be happy and the two of you looked disgustingly happy when she was here," Elise laughed. "Besides, if your relationship is going to progress, the two of you need to be together, and I certainly hope that your relationship progresses, because I really like Sydney. In fact, my advice to you is don't let her get away."  
  
"Trust me, I have no intention of doing that, Mom," he smiled. He knew that this would be the perfect time to tell her about their engagement, but he was determined to keep his word to Sydney; he really did want her to be with him when he finally told his mother.   
  
"You don't know how happy I am to hear that," she said with a sigh of relief. I know that you probably think that the only reason I'm interested in your relationship with Sydney is because I want grandchildren, but honestly, it's not. Even if you and Sydney never have children, I think she's perfect for you and I've never seen anyone make you so happy. She's definitely the one," Elise smiled confidently.  
  
"Yeah, she is," Vaughn said softly. It meant a lot to him that his mother seemed to love Sydney almost as much as he did and he couldn't believe his incredible luck in having two completely amazing women in his life. He moved yet another box and called her over. "Is this the one you're looking for?"  
  
"Yes, that's it," Elise smiled.   
  
Vaughn picked up a damp towel and wiped a thin layer of dust from the box, coughing exaggeratedly as he did so. "I hate it down here," he grumbled.  
  
"You didn't always use to feel that way," Elise smirked.  
  
"What does *that* mean?" Vaughn asked in bewilderment.  
  
Elise fixed him with a knowing stare. "Michael, I'm not stupid. I know what you used to do down here when you were in high school."  
  
Vaughn cleared his throat in embarrassment. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he said weakly as he turned away from her and began to stack the boxes back in the corner again.   
  
"Relax, sweetheart, I'm just teasing you. You were in high school -- of course you made out with girls down here. I probably would have worried about you if you didn't."  
  
"Well that was a really long time ago," he said as he sat on the couch next to the box that she was opening eagerly. "Trust me, my basement days are long over."  
  
"I'm glad to hear that, darling. Sydney is much too good for the basement anyway." She began to coo excitedly as she removed Vaughn's baby clothes from the box.   
  
"Oh my gosh, this is the outfit that I brought you home from the hospital in and, oh, look at this!" She held up a tiny Philadelphia Flyers hockey jersey and smiled. "The week after I told your father that I was pregnant, he had to fly back to the States for a meeting at Langley, and when he came back, he brought this with him. He was so happy and excited when he gave it to me and I just knew that whether we had a boy or a girl, he or she was going to end up playing hockey."  
  
Vaughn took the jersey from her hands and laughed. "Do you mind if I keep this?"  
  
"Really? I thought you were a Kings fan, despite your father's best efforts."  
  
"I am a Kings fan, but you know that my first love was the Flyers. That was all his doing."  
  
Elise placed her hand on Vaughn's forearm and smiled. "I think your father would love it if you kept that. I'm pretty sure there are also some little Eagles and Phillies t-shirts somewhere around here, if you want those too. You know, I think the only reservation your father had about me in the beginning of our relationship were because I knew nothing about sports, especially American sports. He always tried to explain them to me, but it still took me years to understand. Of course, when we first met, he couldn't tell a Matisse from a Monet, but he indulged my love of art the same way that I watched all of his games with him. There's a lot to be said for compromise in a relationship. Never lose sight of that," she laughed as she pulled a tiny, white linen gown from the box. "Finally, here's what I was looking for."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Your christening gown. Your grandfather bought it for you," she said softly. "That was really the first gesture he made to repair the damage he caused to our relationship after I married your father. I cried for hours after he gave it to me," she sighed as she stroked the material.   
  
"Anyway, Nathalie saw it in some old pictures and thought that it would be sweet if Christian wore it at his baptism, and I agreed. Maybe it will be the start of a new Delorme family tradition," she said hopefully, "so I'll have to be sure to ask for it back so your kids can wear it one day."  
  
"Yeah, be sure to do that." Vaughn smiled at his mother but resisted the urge to tease her again about her preoccupation with grandchildren. She had been such a wonderful mother that he knew she would be an even better grandmother one day. He knew that she would probably instill his and Sydney's children with her love of art and culture, as well as an appreciation for their French heritage. He silently laughed, wondering if her influence would be enough to counteract Jack's influence. He could already imagine Jack sitting his grandchildren on his knees as he instructed them in the finer points of game theory. Oddly enough, though, he thought that Jack would be a terrific grandfather, overcompensating for his former absence in Sydney's life by being super-involved in his grandchildren's lives. At any rate, he couldn't wait to see Grandma Elise and Grandpa Jack in action one day, but he decided to wait until later to think about what kind of influence Irina might have on his children's lives, assuming that they got to know her at all.  
  
*****  
  
Half a world away, Sydney glanced around a crowded ballroom and hoped that she looked as bored as she felt. She and Dixon were attending a formal party being hosted by Marc Bruguere, a wealthy Parisian attorney whose client list included some of the most notorious arms dealers in Western Europe. For reasons that he hadn't explained satisfactorily, Sloane wanted to get his hands on Bruguere's client records, which were stored on a disk that he kept in his home office. Sydney and Dixon had therefore been dispatched to attend the party and retrieve the disk.   
  
Truth be told, Sydney usually enjoyed the missions when she got to wear a fabulous dress and pretend to be someone else, but tonight wasn't one of those times. Tonight, she felt nervous and jumpy for reasons that she couldn't fully articulate. She sensed, however, that it had less to do with the mission and more to do with Sloane himself. He had been acting strangely ever since her birthday and his behavior was starting to fill her with a sense of dread. She was so close to the finish line with SD-6 that she could almost taste her freedom, but Sloane still remained a formidable obstacle, one that she was increasingly determined to remove at any cost.  
  
"Syd, heads up. Bruguere's on his way down the staircase," Dixon's voice crackled over her comm link.  
  
She looked up and saw Bruguere making a dramatic entrance into the ballroom, slowly walking down the room's grand marble staircase. He looked confident, cocky and smug, and had the perfect accessory on his arm, a rather vapid looking blonde. Sydney fought a smile as she realized that his date's bored expression almost matched her own. She continued to watch as the couple completed their descent into the room and Bruguere graciously greeted guest after guest. The man oozed charm and, insincere as it might be, she realized that it must have served him well in building his legal practice. She shuddered to think about how many criminals she was rubbing shoulders with at the moment.  
  
"Dixon, he's coming this way," she said in a barely audible whisper.  
  
"Copy that, Syd. I'm going upstairs to disable the security system and video cameras."  
  
As Bruguere and his date approached the section of the room where she was standing, Sydney leaned against a tall column and took a sip of champagne, making sure to look as pouty and bored as possible. She knew that once Bruguere saw her, a beautiful woman standing alone, appearing not to enjoy the party, he would probably attempt to strike up a conversation with her. Sure enough, the minute his date turned her back, he approached her.  
  
"Excuse me, miss, you don't look like you're having a very good time," he said in perfect, unaccented English.  
  
She turned her head, gave him a once over, and resumed her bored expression and stiff posture. "How did you know that I was American?"  
  
"Because everything about you screams 'California Girl,'" he laughed smoothly.  
  
Sydney laughed in spite of herself. "So you wouldn't believe me if I said I was from Nebraska?"  
  
"No I wouldn't," he smiled as he extended his hand. "I'm Marc Bruguere, by the way."  
  
"Stephanie Collins," she replied as he kissed her hand.  
  
"So, Stephanie Collins, is my party not exciting enough for you? Should I be insulted that you're not having a good time?"  
  
"Your party is fine. It's just that my date has stood me up, apparently." She stood up straighter, brushed a hand across the skirt of her black dress and turned her lips into a sultry pout. "I'm not used to being stood up."  
  
"I can certainly see why," Bruguere said with a slightly lecherous smile that made Sydney's skin crawl. If she had a dime for every time a man had looked at her that way in the past nine years, she probably could have bought her way out of SD-6.   
  
"Well, I feel like I got dressed up and came here for nothing."  
  
"No, not for nothing," Bruguere smiled as he lightly ran a finger along her bare arm. "In fact, I'd like to thank your date for not showing up."  
  
Sydney shot him a seductive smile. "I doubt that *your* date would feel the same way."  
  
He turned to look at the tall blonde for a moment, and satisfied that she wasn't paying him any attention, he stepped closer to Sydney. "I think you misunderstand. Veronique and I are just friends. I needed a date for my party," he shrugged lightly. "Had I known that a woman as stunning as you would be here alone, I wouldn't have bothered."  
  
Sydney was about to respond when she heard Dixon's voice in her ear again, telling her that it was safe to head up to Bruguere's office. She turned to him with a dazzling smile, deciding that it was time to get this mission over with.  
  
"Marc, would you mind terribly if I used one of your phones? I just want to call my date to make sure that he's not laying dead on the side of a road somewhere."  
  
"Why should you care?" he asked with a small frown.  
  
"I don't, really. I just want to make sure that he's not hurt so I won't feel guilty about spending the rest of my evening with another man." She smiled at him meaningfully, hoping that he got the hint. When he smiled back appreciatively, she almost wanted to laugh at how easy it was to manipulate him.  
  
"Well, by all means then, you should definitely call him. Come with me." He took her hand and led her through the crowded ballroom, to a more discrete staircase than the one in the center of the room. Once upstairs, she followed him down a long hallway until they reached a small table with a phone resting on top. She hid a frown as she realized that he wasn't going to take her to his office, but she nevertheless picked up the phone and quickly dialed the number to her hotel. She let it ring a few times before hanging up with a frustrated sigh.   
  
"Well, the bad news is that he wasn't there. The good news," she said, stepping closer to Bruguere, "is that now I'm completely free to enjoy myself."  
  
"I can help you enjoy yourself all night long," he replied in a low voice that made Sydney cringe. He was trying much too hard to be sexy, not realizing that his efforts were wasted on her.  
  
"You have such a lovely home, Marc. I meant to tell you that earlier. I know that you need to return to your guests, but would it be terribly rude of me to ask for a quick tour?"  
  
"Of course not," he smiled as he offered his arm to her.   
  
A few minutes later, he opened a door a crack and allowed her to peek inside. "This is my office, but I'm sure there's nothing you want to see in there."  
  
"Au contraire," she protested as she pushed past him into the office. It actually was a beautiful room, with mahogany wood panelling and sleek, black leather chairs. "This room is gorgeous," she said in an impressed tone as she lightly ran her fingers along the front of his desk. "It suits someone as obviously powerful and successful as you are."  
  
"*You* suit someone like me. I've wanted to get you alone since the moment I saw you."  
  
Bruguere spun her around to face him and she felt the edge of the desk dig into the backs of her thighs. In an instant, his hands and lips were all over her, and she shrank away from him. He mistook her reluctance as an attempt to play hard-to-get and pulled her closer to him as he continued to assault her mouth with his own. She roughly pushed him away and his eyes registered momentary shock before she slammed her elbow into his temple and his body crumpled to the floor. She reached down into the pocket of his tuxedo and removed a handkerchief, using it to wipe her mouth and remove all traces of his lecherous kiss. She shook her head as she tried to remove all thoughts of it as well, and raced around the room trying to find the safe in which the disk was located. After that kiss, she wanted nothing but to hurry up, find the disk and get the hell out of Bruguere's home.   
  
She ran her hand along the bottom of his desk until her fingers came into contact with a cool, metal button. She pressed it and two of the mahogany panels in the room slid open, revealing the safe. She removed her watch from her wrist and pressed it against the safe and a few seconds later, the locking mechanism released and the door opened. She quickly found the disk and shoved it in her purse, then bent down for a moment to make sure that Bruguere was still knocked out before she left the office.  
  
"Dixon, I've got the disk and I'm on my way out."  
  
"Alright, Syd, I'll meet you out front."  
  
*****  
  
"Sydney, are you sure you're okay?" Dixon's voice was full of concern as they stepped off of the elevator onto their floor. "You were so quiet on the drive back."  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine, but I'm not feeling that well, so I'm going to go ahead and call it a night."  
  
"Okay then. I'll see you in the morning. I guess we should probably leave for the airport around 8:30."  
  
"Alright, see you then. Goodnight, Dixon," she said, forcing a smile.   
  
She opened the door to her room and rested her forehead against it as soon as it was closed. The events at Bruguere's party had left her feeling dirty and depressed and she wanted to forget everything about the evening. She realized, however, that she still had one last thing to do before she called it a night, and she retrieved her laptop so she could upload the disk's information onto one of the CIA's servers. She fired off a quick e-mail to Agent Miles, letting her know that the mission had been successful, and once the upload was completed, she shut the computer down and put the disk away to give to Sloane when she got back.  
  
She kicked off her heels and laid down on the bed, not even bothering to change out of her dress. She was in a total funk, but she couldn't figure out why. Tonight wasn't the first time she had ever had to flirt her way through a mission and it certainly wasn't the first time that a man had made unwelcome advances at her, so why was she so bothered by her encounter with Bruguere?   
  
She brought her hands up to cover her face, and that was when it hit her. She looked at her bare ring finger and wanted to cry. Suddenly her mood made all the sense in the world when she realized that tonight was the first time she had kissed another man since the night she first told Vaughn that she loved him. Even though she had only been doing her job, it felt so wrong to kiss another man.   
  
She sighed deeply and looked up at the clock on the wall. It was shortly after midnight in Paris, and therefore, a little after six on the East coast. She got up from the bed and dug around in her suitcase until she found her secure cell phone. She pressed the first speed dial button and flopped back down onto the bed. She felt knots in her stomach as the phone rang, but they completely disappeared the minute that Vaughn answered his phone.  
  
"FiancŽs 'R Us. How can I help you?"  
  
A huge smile spread across her face and she silently thanked the person who invented Caller ID. "You just did. You have no idea how much I needed a laugh just now."  
  
"Well, I'm glad that I made you laugh, but what's wrong?"  
  
"What's wrong is that you're not here and I wish you were," she sighed.  
  
"Are you at home?"  
  
"No, I'm in a lonely hotel room in Paris."  
  
"So Sloane sent you on a mission? That's good, right? Weren't you concerned a couple of weeks ago that he seemed suspicious of you?"  
  
"Yeah, I was."   
  
When she returned to work on the Monday following Vaughn's visit, Sloane surprised her when he expressed concern about her "illness" the previous Friday. She explained to him that she'd had too much to drink on her birthday and simply needed the next day to recover. He had almost seemed relieved by her explanation, but the encounter nevertheless had left her feeling unsettled. It simply wasn't like Sloane to express so much concern over the mere fact that she had taken a sick day.  
  
"So did the mission go okay?" The concern in Vaughn's voice was evident and it amazed her how easily he slipped back into "handler" mode.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, it went fine. Dixon and I went to a party at this rich lawyer's house and I had to retrieve a disk from a safe in his office. It wasn't a big deal," she hurriedly finished.  
  
"Good, I'm glad it went well. You sounded so morose a few minutes ago that I was starting to won --"  
  
"He kissed me," Sydney suddenly blurted out, taking them both by surprise.  
  
"He what?"  
  
"He kissed me -- the lawyer guy did -- when we were in his office, and it disgusted me. It's not like it's the first time that's ever happened, but it's the first time . . . it's the first time that it's happened since we got engaged," she said softly.  
  
"I hope so," Vaughn laughed. "I kind of hope it's the last time, too."  
  
"Yeah, so do I," she said absently before his words sank in. "Wait a minute, shouldn't you be more upset about this?"  
  
"Well, I'm certainly not thrilled about it, but it's not as if you were cheating on me or anything. Besides, at least I didn't have to *watch* you with him, unlike that unfortunate incident on that flight a few months ago."  
  
"God Vaughn, don't remind me of that," she half-laughed, half-groaned. "Ugh, just when I had finally purged all the memories of the flight from hell, you just *had* to bring it back up, didn't you?"  
  
"Yeah, sorry about that. But wait, back up for a minute -- did you really purge *all* the memories of that flight from your mind?"  
  
She grinned as she remembered their interlude in the airplane lavatory and the way that Vaughn had completely redefined the meaning of "flying the friendly skies."   
  
"Okay, maybe not all of the memories. Damn. Now that I'm remembering that, I really wish that you were here to help me forget the last hour of my life. Seriously? I think I actually liked it better when the bad guys just used to lick my face."  
  
Vaughn laughed sympathetically. "Poor Syd. I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that. What can I do to make it better?"  
  
"You already are," she smiled. Just the sound of his voice was already helping her forget Bruguere. "So what were you doing when I called? I didn't interrupt you, did I?"  
  
"No. I just got back from my mom's."  
  
"Really?" Sydney asked, her voice brightening. "How's she doing?"  
  
"She's great. She's getting ready to leave for France in a few days. I'm not sure if I ever told you about my cousin Nathalie, but she and her husband had a baby a few months ago, and my mom's going for the christening."  
  
"All the way to France? Wow."  
  
"Well, she's going to mix in some business too, while she's over there, but she adores Nathalie, so she really wanted to be there."  
  
"Aw, your mom's so sweet. Is this Nathalie's first baby?"  
  
"Yeah. His name is Christian and I haven't seen him in person yet, but my mom says he's adorable. Actually, I should try to visit them soon, and maybe I will. I *did* promise a certain someone a trip to the vineyard."  
  
"Yeah, you did, and I'm holding you to that promise. Maybe -- never mind," she laughed.  
  
"Maybe what? And don't say 'nothing.'"  
  
"Fine, twist my arm. It's really nothing, just that during the cab ride from the airport to our hotel, I realized that I've been to Paris at least 10 times, but I've never been here as a tourist. Every time, I've been on some kind of mission and never had the chance to just enjoy the city. Even when I was here with you, it was just for a night, and we didn't exactly spend that time sightseeing," she laughed.  
  
"So, I started thinking about how well you know the city since you used to work here and how much you love it, and I thought that . . . well, I thought that maybe it would be the perfect place to come for our honeymoon. And when you mentioned the vineyard, it occurred to me that if we're going to be in France anyway, maybe we could go there at the same time."  
  
"Did you just plan our honeymoon, Syd?" Vaughn laughed. "Seriously, I love that idea. We could spend a week in Paris and a few days at the Vineyard, and then maybe we could go to Italy for a few days, too."  
  
"Italy, too?" she asked with surprise. She could tell by the excited tone in his voice that Vaughn was getting carried away, but she loved it. "How long do you intend for this honeymoon last, Vaughn?"  
  
"As long as possible," he laughed. "Look, one of two things is going to happen after SD-6 goes down. Either you're going to quit the spy biz and have a lot more free time on your hands, or you're going to stay with the CIA. Devlin really wants you to stay, and I'm sure that he'll do anything to make that happen, so if you request the moon, or three weeks off after your wedding, he's probably going to give it to you."  
  
"Yeah, but what about you?"  
  
"The week I spent in in Lake Tahoe was the first real vacation I'd taken in three years, and Devlin practically had to force me to leave. So I have a lot of vacation time stored up, and I can't imagine a better way to spend it than on a long honeymoon with you. Just think, after a couple of weeks in Europe, we could take the last week to go back to L.A. and get settled in our house."  
  
Sydney's breath caught in her throat for a minute, and when she spoke again, it was in a soft, but excited voice.  
  
"Vaughn, did you just hear yourself just now? You said *our house.* That's the first time that it hit me that we're going to live together, in an actual home that belongs to Michael and Sydney. Is that the most amazing thought, or what? I can't even tell you how much I love the idea of that."  
  
"Yeah, so do I. I hadn't really given it much thought before now, but you're right. Hey, maybe when you get back to L.A., you could start looking for houses that you like."  
  
"Seriously? But don't you want to be there for that?"  
  
"Of course, I do, but even once I get back, it's not like we can go looking for houses together. So you go ahead and start looking and let me know what you like. I'm sure that I'll love anything that you pick out."  
  
"Okay, I'll start looking, but I'm just warning you now that I'm ridiculously excited about this. I might get a little carried away," she grinned.  
  
"That's okay. Knock yourself out," he laughed. "Hey, Syd?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I love hearing you so happy," he said sincerely.  
  
"You know that you're the only person who could make me feel this way, right? I'll be even happier when I see you again."  
  
"We both will, trust me. So now that we've discussed our honeymoon and you're going to start looking for somewhere for us to live, can we discuss something *really** important?"  
  
"Sure. What it is it?"  
  
"What did you wear to the party?" he asked in a low voice.  
  
She shook her head and laughed. Even across an ocean, he could drive her crazy. If they kept this up, they were going to kill each other one day, but she knew that she was going to love every minute of it.  
  
TBC . . . 


	26. Anticipation

A/N: Surprise, surprise. This update is a little earlier than usual, but I got on a roll. :-) A new chapter will be posted on Sunday too, although the version that appears here may be a *substantially* toned down version. For those of you who dig the smut, I'll include a link when I post the chapter. As for this chapter, I just want to say that a few of Sydney's comments to Francie are totally unrelated to the finale. I don't know why I feel the need to point that out, but I do, anyway, LOL! Anyway, enjoy!  
  
Chapter 26: "Anticipation"  
  
"Sydney, may I speak with you for a few minutes in my office?"  
  
Sydney looked up from her desk just in time to see Sloane walking past her, heading to his office. Dixon turned and gave her a quizzical look, to which she shrugged in response. She couldn't imagine what Sloane wanted from her and was every bit as confused as Dixon was. She nevertheless got up and followed Sloane into his office. She could already feel her palms beginning to sweat as the glass door closed automatically behind her and he sat down in his chair.  
  
"Sydney, please, have a seat."  
  
She sank into one of the chairs and struggled not to let him see her nervous apprehension. "Is everything okay, sir?"  
  
"Of course, everything is just fine" he said warmly. "I just wanted to talk to you, make sure that everything is okay with you. You didn't seem quite like yourself a few months ago."  
  
Her mind flashed back to how depressed she'd been for the first few weeks after Vaughn left for Langley and the way that she played on Sloane's concern for her just before she went to Virginia.  
  
"Yes, I know," she said, looking down at her lap and biting. "I was going through a rough period for a while, but I'm fine now." She looked back up at him with a bright smile. "You don't need to worry about me."  
  
"Oh, but I do. You're very important to me, Sydney; you always have been." He looked closely at her for a long moment before speaking again. "Sydney, if anything important was happening in your life, you would feel comfortable telling me about it, wouldn't you?"  
  
She struggled mightily not to let him see how dumbstruck she was by his words. Was he serious? After deceiving her for years and killing her fiance, did he really expect her to feel comfortable around him? Did he actually believe that she would tell him *anything* about her life? Because, if so, she had greatly overestimated his intelligence.   
  
It took every bit of her spy training and acting ability to keep her voice even and her expression neutral when she answered him.  
  
"Of course, I would tell you, but what makes you think that there's anything going on in my life?"  
  
"Well, ever since you returned from your week off in March, you've seemed to be in high spirits, especially in the past month or so. I simply assumed that something good must have happened to you while you were gone."  
  
"No, nothing that I can think of." she lied.  
  
Sloane studied her carefully and she kept her eyes locked on his as he did so. She was forcing herself to remain calm, but she nearly fell out of her chair when he spoke again.  
  
"Sydney, are you seeing anyone? Romantically, I mean?"  
  
"Am I -- what would make you think that?" she asked uneasily. It was taking all the effort she could muster not to panic as alarm bells started to go off in her head and her heart began to pound.  
  
"Well, when a woman looks as happy as you have for the past few weeks, it usually means that there's someone special in her life." He looked down at his desk for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "I know that it was difficult for you, losing Danny, but I always hoped that you would fall in love again. Have a second chance, so to speak."  
  
Sydney's blood ran cold as she looked at the falsely sympathetic look on Sloane's face. She had never in her entire life wanted to throttle anyone more, and she had to clench her hands together to keep them from shaking. She couldn't believe the audacity of this man, both in glossing over the role he'd played in Danny's death and telling her that he hoped she would fall in love again. She was sure that the *only* reason for his interest in her love life was so it could be used as a weapon against her, so he could keep her in line by threatening to take away what was most important to her.   
  
Her thoughts turned to Vaughn and how destroyed she would be if anything ever happened to him, and she vowed right then that there was no way in hell that Sloane would ever find out anything about Vaughn -- not even once he was behind bars. She would sooner kill him than allow him to take away another man that she loved.  
  
She breathed in deeply, trying to contain her anger and compose herself before she spoke again.  
  
"I'm not seeing anyone right now. I don't think I'm ready for that yet. I don't think I could risk opening myself up to love someone and losing them again," she said pointedly.  
  
"I understand," Sloane nodded sympathetically. "Ever since Emily passed away . . ." his voice trailed off as he appeared to lose himself in his thoughts. "Starting over isn't always an option."  
  
Sydney felt a momentary twinge of sympathy as she thought about Emily, but she quickly berated herself for having sympathy for the devil. As devastating as Emily's death had been, Sloane deserved every bit of pain he was feeling -- and a lot more, as far as she was concerned. It really wouldn't be possible for him to suffer too much, she thought bitterly.  
  
"But you're not like me, Sydney," he continued. "You're young and you still have your entire life ahead of you. Someday you'll find someone that you want to spend it with, at least, I hope you will. Your happiness means a great deal to me, Sydney."  
  
"I know that, sir, and I'll keep everything that you've said in mind. If I meet someone special, you'll be one of the first to know."  
  
"Good," he said with a warm smile. "Listen, why don't you take the rest of the day off. Go have a nice lunch with your friends or your father. You've been working too hard lately."  
  
For the first time in their conversation, Sydney didn't bother to hide her surprise. "Oh, honestly, that's not necessary, I'm -- "  
  
"Sydney, I insist. Whatever you're working on right now will still be here tomorrow, but life is short. So go. Enjoy yourself."  
  
"Okay, if you insist. I'll see you tomorrow, then."  
  
"See you tomorrow," he smiled before she turned to leave his office. The smile quickly dissolved into a frown as he watched her walk away.   
  
*****  
  
"Knock knock." The sing-song tone of a female voice startled Vaughn and made him look up from the large box over which he stood.  
  
"Oh, Melissa. Hi," he smiled.   
  
"Hi," she said uncertainly as she walked into his office. She took a long look at the box as he placed another file into it, then looked back up at him. "What is this? What are you doing?"  
  
"Packing," he grinned. "I'm out of here tomorrow."  
  
"So soon?" she frowned. I thought you were going to be here until June."  
  
"Originally, I was supposed to be, but things went ahead of schedule, so my reward is that I get to go back to L.A. sooner than expected."  
  
"Well, great. You know, you could at least have the decency not to look so thrilled about it."   
  
"Sorry," he shrugged, making her laugh in response.  
  
"So, I can't believe that no one told me that you were leaving tomorrow. Aren't we at least going to take you out for drinks, or something? We can't have you going back to La-la-land and telling everyone that the Langley agents are cheapskates."  
  
"Actually, Tommy wanted to round everyone up, but I talked him out of it. I mean, I'm leaving, but I'm going to be back in just a couple of weeks. Besides, my flight tomorrow leaves before happy hour," he smiled.  
  
"Damn. You're in a real hurry to get out of here, aren't you?"  
  
"Yeah, I am," he admitted. "It's nothing personal. I just miss my life in L.A., that's all."  
  
"No, you miss your girlfriend," Melissa smiled. "It's okay, Mike, you can say that in front of me."   
  
He smiled back and nodded. "Yes, I've miss her a lot. I can't wait to see her again."  
  
"Well, I'm sure that she's missed you just as much. You're going to miss all of us around here just a little bit, though, right?"  
  
He walked around his desk and gave her a warm hug. "Of course I will, Mel. I'm sorry that we didn't get to spend more time together while I was here."  
  
"Don't be, it's not your fault. I know that you've been working really hard -- that's probably why you get to go back early," she smiled. "Besides, I was back and forth between here and London the whole time, and whatever," she waved her hand dismissively. "It's not a big deal, but promise me that when you come back, you'll at least stop by my office to say hello. It may be the last time I get to see you before I leave for Paris next month."  
  
"Really? So you decided to take the assignment?"  
  
"Yeah, I did. It was too good of an opportunity to pass up, and I could stand to brush up on my French, anyway. Besides, if the guys there look anything like you, it'll be the best decision of my life," she grinned as he began to blush.  
  
"Flatterer. Hey, actually, I might be in Paris sometime within the next year. Maybe we could get together and have dinner one night. You could meet my girlfriend," he offered. He wasn't sure whether, in the interest of disclosure, he should mention that his girlfriend would be his wife by that point.  
  
"Really? She's going to be there with you?"  
  
"Yeah. We're, uh, we're going on a vacation-type thing."  
  
"Oh." She noticed his suddenly uncomfortable body language, but she shrugged it off. "Well, of course, I'd like that. I'd love to meet the woman who stole Mikey Vaughn's heart."  
  
"Oh, god, not 'Mikey Vaughn' again," he groaned. "I'm leaving just in time."  
  
"Yeah, you are," Melissa smiled as she handed him another file from his desk.  
  
*****  
  
Later that evening, Sydney and Francie were sitting on the couch in the living room, laughing with one another as they talked and looked through fashion magazines.  
  
"Today's been so much fun," Sydney smiled.  
  
"Yeah, it has been. I can't even remember the last time that you and I got to hang out, without you having to work or me being at the restaurant."  
  
When Sloane told her to take the rest of the day off, Sydney had immediately gone to the restaurant and had lunch with Francie. They'd had such a good time laughing and talking over lunch that it had been easy to forget about her unsettling encounter with Sloane and convince Francie to take the rest of the afternoon off to go shopping with her. She hadn't even realized how much she'd missed their "girl" time until they began catching up on each other's lives.  
  
"I know. We're gonna have to do this more often," Sydney smiled, realizing that she'd soon have a lot more free time once her career as a double agent came to an end. Of course, she'd probably be spending most of that extra time with Vaughn, but she vowed to spend more time with Francie and Will, too.  
  
As if she had been reading Sydney's mind, Francie looked up at her with a knowing grin. "Yeah, we'll definitely spend more time together, assuming you can tear yourself away from your secret boyfriend."  
  
"What?" Sydney asked innocently. "You think that I would sacrifice my time with you so I could spend it with him instead?"  
  
"I know I would," Francie laughed. "Seriously, I love you, Syd, but if I had a boyfriend, we would see even less of each other than we already do."  
  
"I'm gonna remember you said that," Sydney laughed, tossing a throw pillow at her friend. "I'm so offended now."  
  
"Whatever," Francie sang. "You know that you'd do the same thing too. In fact, I'd be disappointed in you if you didn't."  
  
Sydney smiled and thanked her lucky stars that she had such an understanding friend. Just then, the doorbell rang and she hopped up. "I'll get it. It's probably the delivery guy."  
  
"Hey, make sure there's duck sauce in the bag!" Francie called out as Sydney entered the hallway.  
  
She opened the door and was shocked to see a huge bouquet of flowers being held in front of her.   
  
"Wow, what is this?"  
  
"Delivery for, uh, Sydney Bristow," said a voice from behind the flowers. She took them from the delivery man and set them down on the table inside the door, before signing for them.  
  
"Thank you so much. If you wait right here, I'll -- "  
  
"Don't worry, miss, the tip's already been taken care of," he smiled.  
  
"Oh, okay." She closed the door and smiled as the delivery man walked back down the path from her apartment. She could only think of two people who would send her flowers, and only one of them would have the forethought to tip the driver in advance.  
  
"Man, thank god the food is here, I'm star -- oh my god!" Francie gasped when she saw Sydney carrying the flowers into the living room. "Those are gorgeous."  
  
"I know," Sydney murmured, admiring at the bouquet of three dozen red roses.   
  
"And they smell so good," Francie sighed, bending down for a closer inspection. "I guess I don't need to ask who they're from," she grinned at Sydney, who instantly began to blush.  
  
"Actually, I don't know, because I haven't read the card yet," she said weakly. She knew that she didn't need to read the card to find out who the flowers were from, but she wanted to be alone when she read it. Luckily, the doorbell rang again.  
  
"Okay, that *has* to be the food this time. I'll go get it so you can read the card and giggle and swoon in peace."  
  
"Thanks, Fran," Sydney grinned. She walked into her room and set the flowers down on her dresser, then reached into remove the card. She was careful not to prick herself with the thorns until she looked at the stems and realized that they'd been removed. "Figures," she smirked as she opened the card. A rose with no thorns was the perfect metaphor for Vaughn.  
  
"Syd, I know that red roses are boring and predictable, but the florist said that they symbolize passion, love, excitement, and anticipation, all of which I feel when I think about seeing you tomorrow. Can't wait. I love you," she read aloud.   
  
She stuck the card back in its envelope and walked over to her closet, reaching up to the top shelf to pull down the hat box in which she kept all of her most important mementoes. She opened the box and quickly dropped the card inside before pulling out the envelope of pictures that Elise had given her a couple of months ago. She removed a small velvet bag that was tucked in with the pictures and opened it, removing her engagement ring. She tried to suppress the giddy smile that always broke out whenever she put the ring on, but it was no use.  
  
She could hardly believe that after all the time they'd spent apart, Vaughn was finally, *finally* coming home tomorrow. Ever since she'd left work earlier that day, their imminent reunion had been the only thing she could think about, which had led her to make a few special purchases during her shopping expedition with Francie.   
  
As she put the box back up on the shelf thought about seeing him again, she was so excited that she felt as if she might burst if she didn't talk to someone. She knew that she could talk to her father, Weiss, or Will, but after spending the day with Francie, she realized that what she really needed was to talk to her best friend. So even though she knew that what she was about to do was potentially crazy, she couldn't help herself as she walked back out to the kitchen.  
  
"Hey, there you are. I was starting to wonder if you'd forgotten all about dinner."  
  
"I just had to get something from my room." She took a deep breath and decided to press forward. "Francie, there's something important that I have to tell you."  
  
Francie looked up from a carton of lo mein and smiled. "What is it?"  
  
"Okay, this is going to sound crazy and a lot of it might not make sense, but I have to tell someone or I'm just going to explode. You have to *promise* me, though, that you won't say anything to anyone about it. I mean, you have to swear on everything that is holy. You can't mention it to Will, or my father, or your hairdresser, or *anyone.*"  
  
"God, Syd, what is it? Wait, you're not pregnant, are you?"  
  
"What? Pregnant?" Sydney blinked. "What made you think that I was -- "  
  
"Well, you're so adamant that I can't tell anyone that I thought that maybe -- "  
  
"No! No, I'm not pregnant," she laughed.   
  
"Oh, then what's going on?"  
  
"I have to tell you about Michael."  
  
"Michael? Who's Michael?"  
  
"The guy that I told you about, the one that I've been -- "  
  
"Your boyfriend?"  
  
"Yeah, except he's not my boyfriend anymore."  
  
"Oh no, did the two of you break up? Is that why he sent the flowers, to apologize?" Francie asked, sympathetically.  
  
"What?. No, we didn't break up."  
  
"Oh. Well, then what were you saying about him not being your boyfriend anymore?"  
  
"I'm getting to that," Sydney smiled. "So, he's been gone for a while, working on a project at one of the bank's East Coast offices, and while you were visiting your parents, he flew out to L.A. for my birthday."  
  
"Wait a minute, he flew all the way across the country just to see you on your birthday?" Francie asked, wide-eyed. "That's amazing."  
  
"Yeah, it was," Sydney smiled softly. "Anyway, he flew out here and surprised me with a hotel room, and a cake and champagne, and something else."  
  
"What?"  
  
"This." Sydney held out her hand and Francie's mouth dropped when she saw the diamond ring.  
  
"Ohmigod, is this -- ?"  
  
Sydney nodded happily. "He asked me to marry him, and I said yes. And nobody knows because it's a secret, and I shouldn't even be telling *you* right now, but I couldn't help myself and I know that I can trust you not to say anything," she said, her words rushing together in excitement.  
  
"Oh wow. You're engaged," Francie said, raising a hand to cover her mouth.  
  
"Yeah, I'm engaged. I know it sounds crazy because you've never even met Michael, and you've never seen us together and it hasn't even been two years since Danny died," she said in a softer voice. "But I really love him Francie. I've never felt this way about anyone before and I just want to be with him all the time. And I know this is all a lot to digest right now," she said apologetically. "I hope you're not pissed that I didn't tell you sooner."  
  
Francie rushed around to the other side of the counter and wrapped Sydney in a tight hug. "Oh sweetie, shut up -- this is the best news ever. You look so excited and happy." She stepped back and smiled at her best friend.   
  
"After Danny died, I didn't think that I would ever see you be truly happy again, but I used to pray that you would meet someone who would make you fall in love again. I didn't think that it would happen this soon, but it's wonderful. I just have one question -- when did you have time to fall in love with this guy? You're always gone," she laughed.  
  
"Well, a few of my trips were with him, actually. Nothing romantic ever happened back then, but I guess just spending so much time with him was what made me fall in love with him." She looked down at the floor and smiled. "You know all of those Joey's Pizza calls?"  
  
Francie nodded.  
  
"That was, um . . . that was kind of our signal for me to meet him."  
  
"Oh, get out!" she laughed. "Do you know how many times I've wanted to have out number changed?"  
  
"I know. I'm pretty sure that when you meet Michael, the first thing he's going to do is apologize for all of those calls. Anyway, there's so much more that I want to tell you about him, but it has to wait for a while. I know it seems crazy that this is all so secretive, but I promise that a month from now, I'll tell you everything you want to know. We just have to -- "  
  
"Syd, I don't want to rain on your parade, but he's not married is he?" Francie asked cautiously. She placed a sympathetic hand on Sydney's arm when she saw the stunned expression on her face. "You know that I would never judge you, sweetie; I just don't want to see you get hurt."  
  
Sydney shook her head. "Fran, he's not married. Seriously, you don't think that I would -- he's not married," she repeated. "Trust me, the only reason for all the secrecy is our jobs, because we could both get fired -- or worse -- if anyone found out about us."  
  
"*Or worse*? Syd, what's worse than getting fired?" Francie laughed. "Anyway, I'm just glad that he's not married, but I was starting to wonder. I thought that maybe his divorce wasn't going to be final for another month, or something."  
  
Sydney couldn't help but laugh. "Oh god, I just realized that I totally would have thought the same thing if I had been in your shoes. I'm sorry about that. Believe me, Michael is very, very unmarried. And sweet," she sighed. "And thoughtful, and smart, and gorgeous. He's amazing."  
  
"He sounds like it. Not to mention that he sends you flowers out of the blue for no apparent reason."  
  
"Well, actually, there is a reason for that. He's finally coming home tomorrow after being in Washington for four months."  
  
"Ohhh. Is *that* why you've been grinning like a fool for the past few days?"  
  
"Yeah," Sydney smiled as she leaned over the counter to grab the carton of chicken with broccoli. "I think you're gonna have to get used to all of the grinning. It might be a permanent condition."  
  
*****  
  
"Sir?"  
  
Sloane looked up from his computer and waved Agent Sean Bridges in.  
  
"Yes. Do you have something for me?"  
  
"Yes sir. Shortly after Agent Bristow returned home this evening, a delivery was made to her apartment. Flowers, sir."  
  
"What kind?" Sloane pensively asked as Agent Bridges looked helplessly at him.  
  
"Uh, they appeared to be roses, but I'm not sure, sir. I don't really know a lot about flowers and I was at a distance," he shrugged apologetically. "Whatever kind they were, she liked them. She appeared to be very happy."  
  
"I'm sure she was," Sloane said absently. After a few moments, he seemed to remember the agent standing before him. "I want you to keep monitoring Agent Bristow. I want to know every man that she comes into contact with -- and every woman too," he said as an afterthought. "You can never be too sure these days."  
  
"Yes sir," Agent Bridges said with a slight smile. He turned to leave but halted when Sloane spoke again.  
  
"Oh, and Agent Bridges? Don't forget that you report only to me. Security Section is to know nothing of your surveillance of Agent Bristow."  
  
"Of course, sir. Have a good evening."  
  
Sloane tightly clenched his jaw as the door closed behind Agent Bridges. This was one of the few times that he took no pleasure in being correct about one of his hunches. Sydney was an excellent spy, one of the best he'd ever seen, and he felt a strong sense of pride and accomplishment in her abilities. As skilled as she was, however, she was no match for someone with his experience in this business. He had so perfected the art of duplicity that it was an easy trait for him to recognize in others.   
  
He leaned back in his chair and stared off into the distance. Ever since the week after her birthday, he had been carefully observing Sydney, noticing how quick she was with a smile for her colleagues, how vivacious she was when she spoke with them, how she had acquired a noticeable bounce in her step. It was obvious to him that something significant was happening in her personal life, and as he told her earlier that day, he believed that she was manifesting all the signs of a woman in love.   
  
Strangely enough, he was happy for her if she was in love, assuming, of course that the man in question was suitable for her. He wanted her to be with someone who would treat her well and adore her -- she was indeed a woman worthy of adoration. More importantly, however, it was essential that she be with someone who wouldn't interfere in his plans for her, plans that were first set in motion the day that Jack and Irina introduced him to her. He knew from that moment on that she would play an important role in his future, and he wouldn't allow anyone threaten that. In fact, it was the very reason that her life had been spared when Daniel Hecht was eliminated. As soon as he'd heard Danny's answering machine message, with his talk of children and ex-spies, Sloane knew that he was a threat that had to be eliminated at all costs . Sloane simply couldn't take the chance that Danny might somehow influence Sydney to quit SD-6, and if he couldn't take the chance back then, he certainly couldn't take it now that his plans had progressed even further.  
  
That was why he had felt that it was imperative to question Sydney about her personal life. He hadn't expected her to be forthcoming, of course, but he nevertheless had hoped that she would surprise him and make the conversation easier for both of them. Of course, she hadn't, and he was almost proud of her for that, proud that she wouldn't break, not even for him. But it also made things more difficult, as he would now have to seek out answers on his own. If Sydney was involved with a man, Sloane needed to know everything about him in order to decide whether he could remain a part of her life or needed to be eliminated.   
  
One way or another, he vowed, he was going to get those answers.  
  
*****  
  
"Did you get Donovan all squared away?" Elise asked anxiously as Vaughn walked back up to her.  
  
"Yeah, he's all set. All the desk agents were cooing about how cute he is," he laughed. "Too bad he was knocked out and couldn't bask in all the attention."  
  
"Yes, he would have loved that," she agreed distractedly as she looked at all the people bustling around them. "Well, you should probably head over to the gate."  
  
"I've still got a few minutes," he said, checking his watch.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes, I'm sure. Are you trying to get rid of me?"  
  
She quickly laughed and shook her head. "No, of course not, darling. I just don't want you to miss your flight, that's all."  
  
"Okay, I don't know whether to be glad that you're concerned about me missing my flight or insulted that you don't want me to stick around longer," he smiled.  
  
"Frankly, Michael, if you stayed any longer, you would drive me crazy. For the past week, you've been practically bouncing off the walls, looking forward to going home. You've worn me out, and now you need to go back to L.A. so I can recover."  
  
He laughed and gathered his mother into his arms, kissing the top of her head. "I love you, Mom."   
  
"I love you too, sweetheart, and I'm sure that after a few days, I'll actually start to miss you."  
  
"Please," he rolled his eyes. "You're going to miss me the second I'm on the other side of the security checkpoint."  
  
"You're right," she sighed. "I did love having you here. It was nice to feel like a mom again, and actually get to *see* my child."  
  
"Was that a guilt trip, Mom? Because if you'd stop flying off to France at a moment's notice, you could come see your child in L.A."   
  
She gave him a look and shook her head. "Well, I see that you inherited my guilt trip gene."  
  
"Damned genetics," he laughed. "Seriously, once this operation is over, you have to come out for a visit. Sydney would love that, not to mention Eric."  
  
"I would love that, too. Be sure to give them both my love when you get back."  
  
"I will, and right after that, I'm going to buy you a ticket to fly out to California, so you won't have a good excuse not to."  
  
"Michael, my goodness. If I say I'm going to come, I'll come. You don't need to send the federal marshals to escort me."  
  
"I know," he laughed. "I just want to be sure. Sydney and I are going on vacation the first week of July, but when we get back, you'll come, okay?"  
  
"Okay. You know, you're just like your father when you get a big idea in your head. You get so carried away," she laughed. "Listen, don't worry, I will definitely come to L.A. in July, and I'll buy my own ticket, thank you very much."  
  
Vaughn smiled. Some time in July, his mother would finally understand why he was so eager for her to visit, and then she'd probably berate him for not inviting her sooner. In the meantime, though, she was every bit as stubborn and independent as another gorgeous woman he knew, a woman that he couldn't wait to get home to. He took one last glance at his watch and pulled Elise into another hug.  
  
"Alright, I actually do have to go now. I'm going to miss you."  
  
"Me too. Have a safe trip, and call me to let me know that you made it safely."  
  
"I will. Au revoir, Mom."  
  
She waved and smiled to herself as he walked away. As sad as she was to see him go, she was happy knowing that he was going home to someone who loved him just as much as she did.  
  
*****  
  
Shortly after the plane reached cruising altitude, Vaughn leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. He wanted to try and get some rest so he wouldn't be exhausted once the plane landed, but he knew that sleep was going to be hard to come by. He didn't sleep well on planes in general, but he knew that it would be especially difficult today, just as it had been when he flew out to surprise Sydney for her birthday. At the moment, all he could think about was how good it would feel to hold her again, and how much better it would feel to kiss her and make love to her again. He could already feel his entire body humming with anticipation, and he knew that it wouldn't be too much longer before he had a chance to put all of that energy to good use.  
  
TBC . . . 


	27. All Tied Up

Hi everyone! Just wanted to let you know that there is an NC-17 version of this chapter, which can be read at: http://www.sd-1.com/boards/index.php?s=&act=ST&f=125&t=17236. (If you copy the address, be sure to remove the period after the 6.) Anyway, the title of this chapter isn't going to make much sense if you're reading this kinder, gentler version of Chapter 27, but I'm sure you can guess what it might be referring to, LOL!  
  
Anyway, I just want to say how much I've been enjoying all of your feedback. Thanks for being such great readers!  
  
Chapter 27: "All Tied Up"  
  
Sydney anxiously paced back and forth inside the warehouse, waiting for Vaughn to arrive. She mentally ran down a list in her mind, making sure that she had covered all her bases to prevent their rendezvous from being discovered. She had already been leery of Sloane's odd behavior in the past few weeks, but after her conversation with him yesterday, she had crossed the line from leery to paranoid -- not paranoid enough to pass up the chance to be with Vaughn, of course, but paranoid nonetheless. Spending the day with Francie yesterday had temporarily helped her forget about Sloane, but as soon as she went to bed, she replayed their conversation again and again in her mind, and instead of drifting off to sleep, she had lain awake, worried and anxious about his newfound interest in her personal life.   
  
Sloane, however, wasn't the only man that kept her awake last night. In addition to her anxiety over Sloane, she was filled with restless anticipation for her reunion with Vaughn, and the time until she saw him again was ticking by so slowly that she could barely stand it. She needed to be with him, now more than ever, knowing that he was the only person who could make her completely forget about Sloane, no matter how temporarily.  
  
As she finished going down her mental checklist, she reassured herself that she had taken every precaution to make sure that She and Vaughn would be safe. She had driven Francie's car and swept the warehouse for bugs, and she hadn't noticed any tails or anything else suspicious on the drive over, so she told herself to take a deep breath and relax.  
  
She began to do exactly that as she sat on a crate and looked around the warehouse with a smile. Some of the most important moments in her relationship with Vaughn had taken place here, but it wasn't exactly the most romantic setting she could have imagined for her reunion with him. In actuality, other than a few stolen kisses here and there, she and Vaughn really hadn't had many romantic moments in the warehouse. She knew, however, that all of the non-romantic moments that they'd shared here had formed the cornerstones of their relationship and made it special. This was where she allowed herself to trust him and slowly accepted his friendship, where he listened as she poured out her fears and frustrations, the place where he held her and reassured her than he didn't hold her mother's crimes against her. This was where he told her that she looked pretty for the first time, and where she had tried - and failed - to look appropriately sympathetic when he told her that he and Alice had broken up.  
  
In a way, she supposed, it was fitting that they were going to spend his first night back in L.A. here, of all places. It was really the only place where she'd felt truly safe since her stint as a double agent began, and even with all of its aesthetic shortcomings, it belonged to her and Vaughn. It was special to them, their own little sanctuary from all the madness surrounding their lives.   
  
Of course, aesthetics were important too, so she'd gone to a bit of effort to transform the dank, drafty space into a romantic love nest, at least for one night. As much as she wanted Vaughn, she couldn't imagine anything less romantic than making love to him on a cold, dusty, cement floor. So she piled several old blankets into Francie's trunk and laid them on the floor of the warehouse when she arrived. She lit scented candles all around the room, which instantly did wonders to improve the atmosphere, giving the room a soft, romantic glow. In the center of the room was the piŽce de rŽsistance, and she could hardly wait to see the look on Vaughn's face once he arrived and caught sight of it. She smiled just thinking about his reaction and imagining what he'd say.  
  
She idly swung her legs back and forth, full of nervous and excited energy, until she heard footsteps approaching from down the hall. Her heart began to race and her smiled grew even bigger as she hopped down from the crate. Her sudden movement created a gust of wind that made one of the candles go out, and she bent down to re-light it using one of the other candles. When she stood back up and turned around, she came face to face with the green eyes that she loved so much and simply stood motionless for a moment, drinking in the sight of him. Even though she had been anticipating this moment ever since he said goodbye to her five weeks ago, she was completely unprepared for her reaction to seeing him again. He quite literally took her breath away when he smiled at her, and a few seconds later, she was wrapped in his arms, though she couldn't remember actually crossing the room to the spot where he stood.   
  
"Sydney," he breathed into her hair as he held her tightly, "it feels like it's been five years since I last saw you, not five weeks."  
  
"I know." She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder and simply breathed in the scent of him, hardly believing that she was finally in his arms again, that he was finally here with her again, rather than 2700 miles away. She happily sighed as he stroked her hair, and a moment later, she tilted her head back to look at him. "I missed you so much, Vaughn."  
  
"God, me too, Sydney. Me too. I've been waiting for this moment since the day I got to Virginia. I'm never leaving you again for more than three days at a time," he promised.  
  
"Trust me, I won't let you." She caressed his face just as he bent down to kiss her, and the moment his lips touched hers, fireworks ignited in her body and everything in the world faded away, save for her memories of what an incredible kisser he was. As his tongue slipped into her mouth and sought out hers, she couldn't even concentrate on that anymore. She slipped her fingers into his hair, knowing how much he loved it when she did that, and he moaned in appreciation, pulling her closer to him as their kiss grew deeper and their passion escalated to a fever pitch. She could have kissed him forever -- she wanted to -- but her need to breathe eventually won out over her desperation for him, and she reluctantly tore her lips away from his, laughing breathlessly as he resisted breaking contact with her and leaned forward to capture her lips again.  
  
"Vaughn, I'm going to be blue in a minute," she panted.  
  
"Sorry, I guess I'm getting a little carried away," he sheepishly smiled, taking her hands in his and holding them out to the side as he leaned forward to kiss her nose and forehead. "Being away from you was hell."  
  
"It couldn't have been all that bad, because you look incredible." She took in his appearance, navy suit pants from earlier in the day, and a blue oxford shirt, with the first two buttons undone. His hair was just the way she liked it, slightly disheveled and spiky from running his fingers through it. He looked perfect and even with him right in front of her, she could hardly believe that this beautiful man was hers.  
  
At the same time that she was checking him out, his eyes appreciatively swept over her. "You don't look so bad yourself, Syd. Nice dress, but if I remember correctly, it didn't stay on very long the first time you wore it."  
  
"Nope, and I'm not really looking to reverse that trend," she admitted with a lascivious grin. She was wearing the strapless red dress that had derailed them from keeping their dinner reservation in Lake Tahoe. When she saw it hanging in her closet earlier that afternoon, she remembered the way that his eyes had nearly fallen out of his head when he first saw her in it, and she knew that it was the perfect choice for tonight.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll keep the streak intact," he vowed as he brushed his lips against hers. She held their intertwined hands behind his back and stepped closer to him, pressing her body against his until she could feel the effect that her close proximity had on him, as well as the corresponding effect on her own body. She shifted her hips slightly, electricity shooting through her as she brushed against his erection. He pulled her even closer, but surprised her a moment later when he broke away from the kiss and distractedly looked over her shoulder.   
  
"Vaughn, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing, just . . . wow, look at this place," he smiled.  
  
She shrugged modestly. "I just wanted to make it a little less warehousey. I mean, I would be with you anywhere, but I thought that some atmosphere might be nice."  
  
"It's beautiful," he said as his eyes swept around the room before becoming fixated on a point in the center of it. "Do I dare even ask you about that?"  
  
"About what?" she innocently asked.  
  
"About the rather large bed in the middle of the room," he laughed, placing his hands on her shoulders and turning her around to look at it.  
  
"Oh, *that.* Didn't you tell me that the first month you were in Virginia, you spent almost every night up late watching infomercials? Because surely, you must recognize the deluxe Aerobed," she smiled.  
  
"An *Aerobed*?" he laughed. "Syd, you crack me up. What made you -- "  
  
"Haven't you ever seen that infomercial? It's really cool, but it always made me wonder if the bed could really inflate and deflate as fast as they said it could."  
  
"So does it?"  
  
"It does," she confirmed. He shook his head in amusement and she gently tugged on his shirt and gave him a pointed look. "Before you left Santa Monica, you told me to be ready. You had to have known that I was going to take you seriously."  
  
"Of course, because you're usually so good at taking orders and following instructions," he sarcastically replied. She rolled her eyes as he pulled her back into her arms. "Well, I guess I have to give you a bit of credit this time."  
  
"Believe me, you're going to give me a lot more than that before the night is over," she winked. "Anyway, I think the bed makes a nice focal point for the room, don't you?"  
  
"Oh, absolutely. And the red satin sheets? Nice," he grinned.  
  
"The better to seduce you with, my dear, but that comes later." She took his hand and dragged him over to one of the crates next to the fence, hopping up on it and patting the empty space next to her. "So how was your flight?"  
  
"Long. Uneventful," he shrugged as he sat down next to her.  
  
"What was the in-flight movie?" He looked at her as if she was crazy and she shook her head and smiled. "Humor me, okay?"  
  
"Okay, but honestly, I couldn't tell you."  
  
"Why, did you sleep through it?"  
  
"No, I was awake, I just wasn't paying any attention to *that* movie. Actually, I was visualizing my own porno movies in my mind, all starring you, believe it or not."  
  
"Me? I'm shocked. *Shocked,* I tell you! Of course, I want you to tell me all about them later," she grinned.  
  
"I'd rather show you instead," he murmured as he kissed her bare shoulder.  
  
She sucked in her breath at the unexpected contact, but managed to quickly regain her composure. "Mmm-hmm. So how did Donovan do on the plane?"  
  
"He seemed fine, but he was still sleeping when I dropped him off at Eric's. He might still be sleeping on Monday morning when I leave for work," he laughed.  
  
"Oh, poor Donny. It was really nice of Eric to keep him tonight, though."  
  
"Yeah, but he owes me about a billion favors. Besides, he knew how important it was for me to see you again, and that I'd be hell to work with on Monday if I didn't get laid tonight." He laughed, earning a playful punch in the arm before he wrapped his arms around Sydney's waist and turned to face her. "Seriously, he knew how much I needed to be with you, and not just for sex. You were always the first topic of conversation every time we talked while I was gone."  
  
"So he told me. You know that he's going to tease you relentlessly about that, when you get back to work."  
  
"Yeah, I know, but I don't care. I'll cop to being a lovesick fool."  
  
"Well, I certainly won't hold it against you," she smiled. "How's your mom? Was she devastated to see you go?"  
  
"Not exactly," he chuckled. "Actually, she couldn't wait to get rid of me."  
  
"What? I find that hard to believe," she shook her head.  
  
"No, it's true," he laughed. "She told me that in the past week, I was so antsy to get back to you that I was driving her nuts, and she needed to get rid of me. She told me to give you her love, though."  
  
She smiled at the thought that Elise had been thinking of her. "Is it crazy how much I adore your mom even though I've only spent a few hours with her?"  
  
"No, of course not. She's equally crazy about you, and she can't wait to see you again. I'm trying to get her to fly out when we get back from our vacation, so we can tell her about our engagement. I swear, it took all the strength I had not to tell her about it before I left," he laughed, not noticing as Sydney bit her lip and looked away from him. "If she comes, maybe we could tell her and your dad at the same time."  
  
When she failed to respond, he gently turned her face back to his. "Hey, did I say something wrong?" he softly asked. "We don't have to tell our parents at the same time if you don't want to, you know."  
  
"No, nothing's wrong, I'd love to tell our parents at the same time," she assured him before taking a deep breath. "But I did something last night that's probably going to make you freak out. I told Francie about our engagement, which I figured was relatively safe, since she doesn't know you, unlike my dad or Will or Weiss. She won't tell anyone, I swear, but *I* had to tell someone; it was driving me crazy not to. It's really hard to keep something a secret when it's the best thing that's ever happened to you." She looked at him, anxiously awaiting his reaction. "Are you upset?"  
  
"What, that you have no self-control?" he teased. "That actually might come in handy later. Look, obviously, you know Francie better than I do. If you think you can trust her not to tell anyone, I don't see what the big deal is." He shrugged and pulled her closer to him. "So you couldn't keep it a secret, huh?" he asked, his eyes twinkling in amusement.  
  
"I tried, really I did, but I couldn't help myself. Damn. I've been tortured and not given anything up, but I can't keep it a secret that I'm engaged." She shook her head ruefully and smiled at him. "How pathetic is that?"  
  
"It's not." He kissed the tip of her nose and smiled when he looked down at her hand on his thigh and saw the ring on her finger. "I'm excited, too," he acknowledged, placing a warm hand on her knee.  
  
"Does it seem more real to you now? Because it seems more real to me, now that you're back, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense, seeing that you've only been back for an hour. But at least I know that the next time I say goodbye to you, we'll see each other again in a couple of days and we'll be in the same city, at least."  
  
Her voice and thoughts soon trailed off as she grew conscious of the way that Vaughn was softly caressing her knee as he listened to her. She didn't think that he realized what he was doing, but his touch was electric and she felt heat and desire suffusing her whole body.   
  
"Vaughn?"  
  
"Hmm?" he absently asked.  
  
She placed her hand over his and slid it up her thigh, just underneath the hem of her dress. "I really missed you,' she said huskily. "Not just for the last five weeks, but for the last four months. I missed meeting you here and seeing you across the room at the ops center. I missed hearing your voice in my ear when I was on missions and seeing your smile when I came home safely. I missed kissing you and falling asleep in your arms at night, and I missed the way that you make me feel every time you touch me, every time you make love to me. I don't want to miss you anymore," she whispered as she slid off of the crate and pulled him off with her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body along the hard length of his.   
  
"You told me to be ready for you tonight, and I'm so ready, Vaughn. I need you so much right now."  
  
She pulled his head down, and in an instant, his lips were all over hers, tugging on her bottom lip, his teeth biting it gently as he pulled her closer to him. She urgently untucked his shirt from his pants and slid her hands underneath it, needing to feel his skin, reminding herself of the way his body always shuddered when she lightly ran her fingers across his abs. She kissed him demandingly as she backed him up against the fence and her fingers deftly unbuttoned his shirt. When she finished with the last button, she spread the shirt open, exposing his chest as she planted soft, fluttering kisses on his collarbones, his sternum, his stomach, everywhere that there was a bare patch of skin. She moved back up and nipped along his neck for a few moments before licking him in long, slow strokes, savoring the slightly salty taste of his skin.   
  
"Syd, you're driving me crazy," he rasped.  
  
"I mean to," she murmured.   
  
*****  
  
Vaughn whispered Sydney's name again and again as he collapsed against her, and she wrapped her arms around him, never wanting to let him go. She lovingly wiped the sweat from his forehead and softly kissed it, smiling back at him when she saw the beautiful smile that spread across his face. "I love it when you do that," he whispered.  
  
"Why do you think I always do it?" she asked, her grin growing wider. "Welcome home, honey," she said with exaggerated sweetness.   
  
"For sure," he laughed. "I think you were right -- I should definitely go away again and come back in five weeks."  
  
"Yes, apparently, absence really *does* make the heart grow fonder, and the sex hotter," she smiled. "But we've had enough of that, Vaughn. I need you here with me."  
  
"*I* need me here with you," he laughed before growing serious. "Being away from you proved to me that I need you so much, Syd. Those four months may have been the best thing that ever happened to me."  
  
She looked at him quizzically and he rolled onto his side and looked deeply into her eyes.  
  
"The last time I was in this warehouse with you, I was telling you that I wouldn't be your handler anymore, and that I was leaving you for four months. I knew that you would be angry and upset, but I really thought that I was doing the best thing for you, for both of us. When I got to Virginia, though, those first few days without you were so hard that I just wanted to catch the first flight back to L.A. I spent the first two weeks cursing myself for leaving you, telling myself what a fool I was for thinking that being apart from you wouldn't be that difficult."  
  
"Vaughn," she said, softly stroking his face. "You don't have to apologize or explain. I mean, yes, I was upset at first, but it's water under the bridge now. I understand why you did what you did."  
  
"I know you do, because you're wonderful, and I'm not apologizing for leaving, Sydney, because I honestly don't regret it. It was painful being away from you, but it was also exactly what I needed, because it clarified everything about the place that you hold in my life. For the the first time, I got to think about you, not as my professional responsibility or my asset, but just as my girlfriend, as the woman that I realized I couldn't live without.   
  
"If I had stayed here, if I was still your handler, everything would be so different now. You wouldn't have come to Virginia, and you wouldn't have met my mom. I wouldn't have had the chance to see how incredibly the two of you got along together, and we'd probably still be dancing around all of the issues with your mom and my dad. I never would have known how amazing it felt to come home at the end of the day and see you there or how hard it was to leave you in the morning when you were still asleep in my bed, looking so beautiful.  
  
"And truth be told, if I had stayed here, we wouldn't be engaged right now. Not that I wouldn't have wanted to ask you to marry me, but I wouldn't have felt the urgency that I felt when I was so far away from you and felt so removed from your life. So, if nothing else, I'm grateful that I went away for that reason, because it gave me the kick in the ass that I needed to realize how stupid it would be to wait any longer to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me."  
  
"Then yay for Virginia," she softly laughed. "You know, there were times when I missed you so much that it was hard to breathe, Vaughn. But I can't really argue with the way that things worked out, can I? Honestly, though, now that I've been without you, now that I've seen what it's like, I can't do that again. We belong with each other, in every way, and my heart really can't grow any fonder of you, so no more absences, okay?" she smiled.  
  
"Promise," he grinned. He kissed her to prove that he meant it and it wasn't long before he was again ready to show her in other ways. They had so much lost time to make up for, and even though he knew that they couldn't do it all in one night, he was more than willing to try anyway.  
  
TBC . . . 


	28. Blindsided

A/N: For those of you who only read Chapter 27 here at ff.net, part of Sydney and Vaughn's conversation below may not make a whole lot of sense. It pertains to, um, some of the things that went on in the warehouse during their reunion. All you really need to know is that a fence and one of Vaughn's ties were involved. I'm sure you can imagine what might have happened. :-) Anyway, just wanted to give you that little bit of information so you wouldn't be wondering what in the world they were talking about. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Thanks, as always, for all of the kind reviews.  
  
Chapter 28: "Blindsided"  
  
Vaughn was already deeply engrossed in sorting through a stack of paperwork at 8:50 on Monday morning, when he was interrupted by the buzz of the intercom on his phone.  
  
"Agent Vaughn, Agent Bristow is here to see you."  
  
"Really? Tell her I'll be out in just a minute. Thanks, Donna."  
  
A few moments later, he opened his door and smiled when he saw Sydney standing a few feet away, having an animated conversation with his assistant. "What are you two gabbing about?"  
  
"I was just telling Agent Bristow how nice it is to have you back," Donna smiled.  
  
"And I was telling her that she must be on drugs if she honestly feels that way."   
  
Donna laughed and Vaughn rolled his eyes at Sydney. "Funny. You're a regular little comedian, aren't you?"  
  
"I try," she shrugged.  
  
"Yeah, well, you should stick to your day job." He turned to Donna and gave her the smile he always used when he wanted a favor from her. "Can you hold my calls for a while?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Thanks, Donna. Agent Bristow," He held out his hand and gestured for her to enter his office. Once inside, he locked the door and pulled the blinds closed.  
  
"Subtle, Vaughn," she teased. She dropped a shopping bag into one of the chairs in front of his desk and looked back at him with a dimpled smile. "I'm sure *that* won't spark too many rumors."  
  
"Would you rather that I open the door and the blinds back up?"  
  
"I didn't say *that,*" she smiled. "I just suggested that people would talk -- I never said that I cared." She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him softly. "Good morning, Agent Vaughn."  
  
"Wow, good morning to you too. Do you greet all your colleagues that way?" he grinned.  
  
She gave him a sultry smile and smoothed his tie with her hand. "Just the really sexy ones. Nice tie, by the way."  
  
"Glad you like it," he murmured, leaning back into her for another kiss and threading his fingers through her hair as his mouth brushed against hers. She hungrily kissed him back, feeling the desire ramping up between them until he breathlessly pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. "Alright, we have to stop this right now, before I forget where we are and start doing some very unprofessional things to you."  
  
"Too bad there's no fence in here," she smirked.  
  
He laughed and shook his head. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?"  
  
"I can't imagine why you'd ever want to, Vaughn. If you had any idea what that felt like . . . Seriously, when we buy our house, I'm going to look into having a fence installed in our bedroom."  
  
"Okay, Syd, you do that," he laughed.  
  
"You're not daring me, are you?" she teased, "Because I was only half kidding about the fence, and I've already decided that I'm giving you a new tie for every Christmas, birthday, and anniversary."  
  
"Great, just what I've always wanted, a closet full of ties," he rolled his eyes. "The tie thing was just a one time deal, Sydney. You know that, right?"  
  
"What? You're joking, right? Please tell me that you're joking, Vaughn," she looked at him beseechingly.  
  
"I don't know," he nonchalantly shrugged. "Perhaps I could be persuaded to do it again, but it would take a lot of convincing. I mean, a *lot* of convincing. I'm not sure that you're up for all the convincing it might take."  
  
"I'm going to have so much fun proving you wrong about that, Vaughn. I'm a spy, I can be *very* persuasive when I need to be. You should know that by now." Her voice was low and husky in his ear and it took all the self control he had not to take her right then on his desk or the floor of his office.  
  
"Syd," he breathed into her neck, "you're so sexy. I want you so much right now."  
  
"Me too," she sighed as she ran her fingers through his hair. "Remind me again why we went the whole weekend without seeing each other?"  
  
"Because we didn't want to tempt fate," he smiled. "Besides, I needed those two days to recover from Friday night."  
  
"That *was* a rather exhausting night, wasn't it? It was a great night, though."  
  
"The best," he agreed. "So how did you know that I was going to be here?"  
  
"I didn't. I went to the ops center first, but Agent McCarthy said that you would be here for most of the morning."  
  
"Yeah. I have a meeting with Devlin later, but I knew there would be a mountain of paperwork here to keep me occupied until then. Plus, it's been so long since I was actually here in my office that I thought I should reacquaint myself with the place and remind Donna what I look like," he laughed. "This was an unexpected surprise, though. I didn't think I would see you until later in the day."  
  
"I know, but I just wanted to see you first thing in the morning. I'm still trying to get use to the fact that I can do that again. I'm so glad you're back, Vaughn."  
  
"Me too." He kissed her forehead and finally broke apart from her, offering her one of the chairs in front of his desk as he sat down in his own chair. She quickly glanced around the office, making sure that all of the blinds were closed, and once she was satisfied that they were, she grabbed the bag she had brought with her and sat down on his lap.  
  
He looked at her with a bemused expression as she made herself comfortable. "What? I like your chair better," she explained as she held out the bag to him. "This is for you."  
  
"You got me a present?"  
  
"No, I'm just returning one."  
  
He reached into the bag and was surprised when he pulled out his Dartmouth Hockey sweatshirt. "Syd, why are you giving this back to me?"  
  
"Because, you asked me to hang onto it for you until you came back. You're back now."  
  
"Yeah, but I don't want it back. I think you should keep it," he decided.  
  
"Vaughn," she softly protested, "I can't keep it, it's your favorite."   
  
"But I want you to. I'm sure it looks better on you, anyway," he smiled.  
  
"Vaughn, are you sure?"  
  
"Definitely."   
  
"Great. If I had known that you were going to let me keep it, I never would have washed it."   
  
"What?" he asked with a confused laugh.  
  
"Last night was the first time that I washed it since you gave it to me," she explained. "When I first took it out of my suitcase, it still smelled like you, so whenever I was missing you -- which was all the time -- I'd wear it, and it felt like being close to you." She shook her head in embarrassment. "I know that sounds ridiculous, but it helped, and that's why I refused to wash it. Of course, I wore it so much that I think it ended up smelling more like me than you," she laughed.  
  
"You make it sound like that's a bad thing. You always smell so good, Syd." He nuzzled her neck, and when he began to softly stroke her knee, she could feel the familiar sensations building inside of her. She linked her fingers through his and pulled his hand away.   
  
"You have to stop that," she smiled. "You rubbing my knee like that was what led to everything that happened in the warehouse the other night, so I'm just stopping you now before things get completely out of hand. Besides," she sighed as she raised his arm and looked at his watch, "I need to leave anyway. I have an SD-6 briefing at ten."  
  
Hearing the word SD-6 was like having a wet blanket thrown over his escalating desire for her, and he frowned with concern. "I hate the thought of you having to walk into that lion's den."  
  
"Tell me about it. The very last thing that I want to do after being with you is go see Sloane, especially when he's been -- never mind." She shook her head and sighed as she rose from Vaughn's lap but he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back down, preventing her from leaving.  
  
"Especially when he's been what?"  
  
"Nothing, Vaughn. It's nothing. Just forget what I said." She tried to free herself from his grasp and stand up again, but he refused to let her go. "Are you going to let me go?" she asked with an exasperated sigh. She looked at the unyielding expression on his face and knew that he wasn't going to let her go without an explanation, so she relented, settling back into his lap and placing her hands over his.  
  
"I wasn't going to say anything, because I didn't want you to worry, but lately he's been acting strangely. All of a sudden, he's developed an interest in my personal life, asking me if I'm seeing anyone, telling me that I seem happier than usual, that kind of thing. It's a little unnerving, but it could just be nothing; maybe he's just feeling guilty about Danny, or something," she said dismissively. "In fact, I'm sure it's nothing. I think I'm just jumpy right now because the raid is getting closer. I'm probably blowing things out of proportion."  
  
Vaughn could tell that she was downplaying her concerns for his benefit, but he decided not to press her on it for now. "Sydney, he hasn't threatened you, has he?"  
  
"No. He hasn't done anything other than ask me a few off the wall questions. I shouldn't have even said anything about it."  
  
"Do you think he knows about us?"  
  
"No," she assured him. She could already tell that Vaughn was doing what he did best -- worrying about her and protecting her -- and she hated the thought of causing him more anxiety and sleepless nights. She absently played with his hair and rested her cheek on the top of his head. "Sloane doesn't know anything about us and he won't, Vaughn. I took every precaution before we met at the warehouse, and I'll do that for as long as I have to until this is over."  
  
"I know," he sighed, "but Syd, if you notice anything strange or out of the ordinary -- I mean, if Sloane even looks at you the wrong way -- you need to tell me, so we can take steps, okay? Promise me," he begged her  
  
"I promise, but only if *you* promise not to spend all your time worrying and obsessing over Sloane. I'll be fine, really."  
  
"Sydney, asking me not to worry about you is like asking me not to love you. I can't do that. I can't promise that I won't worry, but I'll try not to get all worked up about it. That's the best that I can do," he smiled apologetically. "Just be careful, okay?"  
  
"Of course I will." She kissed his forehead and sighed. "I hate to leave you, but I have to go. Will you be at the ops center later?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Okay. Maybe I'll see you there." She stood and straightened her suit, then bent back down to give him a quick kiss. "Have a good day."  
  
"You too. Bye." He forced a smile for her benefit as she left his office, but leaned back in his chair with a heavy sigh when she was gone. Just when it seemed that SD-6 was close to falling and all the pieces of their life together were falling into place, Sloane had to come along and shake things up.   
  
Vaughn's professional training soon kicked in as he began to devise various contingency plans, in case Sloane needed to be dealt with before the raid. But all the logical problem-solving skills in the world weren't enough to assuage his growing fear that Sloane might somehow ruin everything for him and Sydney.  
  
*****  
  
"Good morning, Sydney," Jack greeted her as she walked into the briefing room.  
  
"Hi Dad. Where is everyone?"  
  
"Sloane pushed the briefing back to ten after the hour," he explained. "I'm just here early reading over some reports."  
  
"Do you mind company?"  
  
"Of course not."  
  
"Good," she smiled as she took a seat across from him. "How was your weekend?"  
  
"Uneventful, as usual. Yours?"  
  
"Quiet," she shrugged. "I mostly just lounged around the apartment with Francie."  
  
"That's all you did?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Yes," she nodded. "Why?"  
  
"You just seem to be in an unusually good mood for a Monday morning. I just assumed that there must be a reason for that."  
  
"Well -- do you have your -- thanks," she nodded as Jack pulled out his signal jammer. "Actually," she lowered her voice as she leaned closer to him, "Vaughn is back."  
  
"Since when?"  
  
"Friday."  
  
"You've seen him since then, I take it?"  
  
"Yes," she acknowledged. A small smile played about her lips before she looked up and saw her father's concerned expression. "Don't worry, Dad. I was careful. *We* were careful."  
  
"I certainly hope that you were. Now is not the time to get sloppy, Sydney," he reproached. When he saw a momentary pained expression flicker across her face, he softened his tone to take the edge off of his words. "So how is Vaughn?"  
  
Sydney smiled, appreciating the fact that he sincerely seemed to care and wasn't simply asking to be polite. "He's good. He's great, actually."  
  
"So, I assume that he'll be resuming his responsibilities as your handler?"  
  
"Oh, no. Actually, we agreed that I should continue to work with Agent Miles. She and I work well together and don't seem to have the same kind of, um, objectivity issues with each other that Vaughn and I have," she admitted. "Besides, he's still going to be back and forth between here and Langley for the next month."  
  
"I see. Well, it's probably for the best that he won't be your handler anymore, given the nature of your . . . personal relationship." Sydney couldn't help but smile at the difficulty her seemed to have getting those words out.  
  
"You mean because he's my *boyfriend,* Dad?" she teasingly asked. "Yes, we both agree that it's for the best, although I really miss working with him, and I think that -- "   
  
Before she could finish her thought, the signal jammer beeped and Jack placed it back in his jacket pocket. A few minutes later, Sloane entered the conference room accompanied by Dixon and Marshall.  
  
"Jack, Sydney, good morning," he nodded.  
  
"Good morning," they replied in unison as Sydney flashed smiles to Dixon and Marshall.  
  
"How were your weekends?"  
  
"Good."  
  
"Fine, thank you."  
  
"Did you do anything special, Sydney?" Sloane turned to her.  
  
"No, I just stayed at home all weekend," she replied with a relaxed smile.  
  
Sloane nodded in approval. Agent Bridges reported to him that morning that he hadn't seen Sydney's car move all weekend, so Sloane was satisfied that she was telling the truth. "Well, I hope it was relaxing."  
  
"It was."  
  
"Good. Let's begin then, shall we?"  
  
*****  
  
"Wow, someone break out the champagne! Michael Vaughn finally decided to grace us with his presence," Weiss boomed as he approached his desk and saw Vaughn seated at the desk next to his. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"  
  
Vaughn rolled his eyes, but smiled at his friend anyway. "Remember how every time we talked on the phone, I told you how much I missed Sydney?  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well, I didn't miss you at all," Vaughn laughed. "I swear, Eric, I haven't even been back for three whole days, and you're already giving me grief. If you were a real friend, you'd at least give me a week to reaclimate myself to your charming and clever wit"  
  
"Oh, come on, Mike, you can't take it. Be a man," Weiss laughed, clapping his hand on Vaughn's shoulder. He sat down at his desk and shuffled a few papers around, before rolling his chair next to Vaughn's. "So hey," he said quietly, making sure that they weren't overheard, "are you gonna tell me what happened on Friday night?"  
  
"How many times have you asked me that since I came to pick up Donovan? Seven? Eight? You need to accept that I'm not going to tell you anything and let it go."   
  
"Let it go?" Weiss incredulously asked. "You know I can't do that. Look, the way I see it, you and Sydney already had the whole forbidden love thing going on even *before* you left for four months. So the combination of that and all of the time that you spent apart had to make for some of the hottest welcome-home sex ever. I just want all the sordid details, that's all."  
  
Vaughn shook his head and Weiss had to smile at the fact that Vaughn wasn't willing to spill the details about his homecoming with anyone, not even his best friend. In the past, the two of them had always engaged in typical guy talk, freely sharing with each other the dirt about their sex lives, but other than admitting that he and Sydney were finally together, Vaughn really hadn't told Weiss anything about their relationship. That hadn't kept Weiss from pressing for the details, of course, but he had resigned himself to the fact that Vaughn was never going to cave in, and all kidding aside, he respected that. It was just one of the many ways in which he could tell that his best friend was deeply in love with Sydney.  
  
"I'm not telling you anything, Eric, but the first thing you mentioned to me when I came to pick up Donovan was how tired I looked, right? That told you everything you need to know about my night with Sydney."  
  
"Ooh, you're a stud, Mike," Weiss teased, "I'm sure that Sydney agrees. I guess I'll just have to get all the dirt from her."  
  
"I seriously doubt that she's going to tell you any more than I have."  
  
"I wouldn't be so sure about that. She and I bonded while you were gone. She might spill."  
  
"Yeah," Vaughn laughed, "or she might kill you with a flick of her wrist. Either way, I wouldn't take the risk of finding out. Don't let the sweet exterior fool you, she kicks all kinds of ass."  
  
"Including yours?" Weiss grinned. "Is that some kind of kinky sex game that you guys like to play with each other?"  
  
"Oh yeah, all the time," Vaughn smirked.  
  
"Damn. You're a lucky man, Mike. You have a great girlfriend and an even better best friend. Admit it -- you've missed having these kinds of intellectual conversations with me, haven't you?"  
  
"So much, Eric. You just don't know."  
  
"No, I *know.* I kept telling Sydney while you were gone that you probably missed me more than her, but she refused to believe me for some reason."  
  
"I can't imagine why."   
  
"Me either, man. But enough about how much you missed me. How's your mom doing?"  
  
"She's great. She told me to tell you hi."  
  
"Oh, well be sure to tell her hello for me the next time you speak to her. When is she coming out this way again?"  
  
"I'm not sure, but I'm trying to convince her to come in July. Why?"  
  
"Just let me know a few weeks before she gets here so I can go on a diet. That way I won't feel so guilty about eating all of her cooking. My mouth is already watering thinking about her coq au vin. And that chicken, with the garlic? Oh man, I can hardly wait."  
  
"Do you want to just move into my place while she's here?" Vaughn teased. "That way, she could serve you three meals a day in bed. You wouldn't even have to leave your house."  
  
"Yeah, you're joking, but that's actually not a bad idea. Alan and I could move into your place for a week or so, and you could go stay with Sydney."  
  
"Who's staying with me?" Sydney asked as she bounded up to the two of them. "What are you guys talking about?"  
  
"Hey," Vaughn said softly, a smile lighting his face when he saw her.  
  
"Hi," she grinned. "Hi, Eric."  
  
"I can't believe that you even noticed me sitting here now that ol' green eyes is back in town."  
  
Sydney turned to him with a mock sympathetic look. "I know you got used to having me all to yourself while he was gone, but come on, Eric. Didn't anyone ever teach you that it's polite to share?" Vaughn laughed, her tone reminding him of a teacher scolding a kindergartner.  
  
"Yeah, Eric. Play nicely," he smirked.  
  
"You need to tell Agent Frenchy that it's polite to share, because he won't tell me anything about your big reunion on Friday night."  
  
"Sorry, that information is classified Omega-17."  
  
"Wow, so neither one of you is talking. Is was that good, huh?"  
  
Vaughn and Sydney smiled at each other, then quickly looked away, as they both started to blush.  
  
"God, the two of you are sickening," Weiss laughed. "I don't want to interrupt your precious flirting time any further, so I'm going to go get some coffee. Do you guys want anything?"  
  
"No thanks," they both answered.  
  
"Alright then. See you two later."  
  
"Bye." Sydney turned back to Vaughn once Weiss was gone. "You look tired," she said softly.   
  
"It's been a long day catching up on everything, but I'm okay. Where were you coming from just now?" He lowered his head for a moment, as he signed a sheet of paper, and she seized the opportunity to brush her fingertips along the back of his neck.   
  
"You're so bad, Syd."  
  
"I know," she grinned, leaning back against his desk. "I just came from meeting with Sylvia; she was giving me my latest countermission."  
  
Vaughn frowned and stood up next to her, pretending to look for something on his desk. "Sloane's sending you on a mission?"  
  
"Yeah, he's sending us to Turin to retrieve yet another Rambaldi artifact, which begs the question, what is his obsession with that man, and why is an alleged intelligence agency getting caught up in it? I never thought that I would actually say this, but I miss the good 'ol days when he used to send us to steal important stuff like nuclear weapons."  
  
Vaughn flashed her a grin, which was quickly replaced by an anxious expression. "Dixon's going with you, right?" he anxiously asked.   
  
"Yes, so don't worry. I'll have backup. I thought you weren't going to worry about Sloane," she reminded him.  
  
"I'm not worried about Sloane, Syd. I'm worried about you. I want you to be safe, and I'll feel much better if Dixon is with you."  
  
"I'll be extra careful, I promise." She looked at him and had to restrain herself from wrapping her arms around him and smoothing the creases in his forehead. She was simultaneously trying to reassure him that she would be fine and calm her own concerns about Sloane. She would feel a lot better, though, if she didn't have to worry about him worrying about her. "Hey, try to get some sleep tonight, okay? Don't stay up all night worrying about me," she teased.  
  
"I'll try, but it's gonna be hard."  
  
"When I come home, I'll give you a legitimate reason to stay up all night long, okay?"  
  
"I'm going to hold you to that."  
  
"I don't mind," she smiled before glancing at her watch with a sigh. "I should probably go."   
  
"Yeah, you should." Sydney made no attempt to walk away from him and he grinned at her. "I thought you were leaving."   
  
"I am," she smiled, even as she stayed rooted firmly in place. "I really want to kiss you right now," she whispered.  
  
"Me too. It's all I can do not to touch you right now, which is why you need to go before something shocking happens in full view of a room of CIA agents," he laughed, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Save the kiss for when you get back. I'll be here."  
  
"Okay. Maybe we could order from Joey's Pizza when I get back," she suggested.  
  
"We will, definitely." He smiled and stepped closer to her, lightly brushing his fingers against hers, no longer caring who saw them. "I love you. Be careful," he whispered into her ear.  
  
"I will. I love you too. See you when I get back."  
  
*****  
  
A few minutes before five o'clock, Vaughn slouched in his chair and closed his eyes, which ached from the strain of reading paperwork and staring at a computer screen for most of the day. Even though he had been looking forward to returning to his job at the ops center, he wasn't prepared for how much work would be waiting for him when he got back, and the day had been completely exhausting.   
  
He briefly thought about how nice it would be to go home for the evening and unwind, but then he remembered that Sydney was on a flight to Italy. Even if he did go home, he knew that he would spend the evening either worrying about her or fantasizing about her. Either way, he wasn't likely to rest or relax, so he figured that he might as well stay at work and try to clear off the piles on his desk.  
  
Just as he picked up another intelligence report from one of the piles, he was interrupted by his ringing phone.  
  
"Michael Vaughn."  
  
"Hi Mike, it's Donna. I was just about to leave for the evening when I remembered that I forgot to give you the message that Agent Bristow set up a 7:00 dinner reservation for tonight at Joey Chang's."  
  
Vaughn frowned, knowing that there was no way that Sydney would risk the two of them being seen together in a public restaurant. "Are you sure about that, Donna? Because Agent Bristow left for Italy this afternoon."  
  
"Wrong Agent Bristow," she laughed. "You're not meeting Sydney, you're meeting Jack. Anyway, have a good night. See you tomorrow," she chirped.  
  
"Yeah, you have a nice evening, too, Donna," he said distractedly.  
  
He hung up the phone and sank back in his chair, feeling as if he had just been completely blindsided. He couldn't believe that he was about to have dinner with his fiance's father, and he only had two hours to prepare himself for what was sure to be one of the more nerve-wracking evenings of his life.  
  
Cool, calm, rational Michael Vaughn rarely, if ever, panicked, but now seemed as good a time as any to start.  
  
TBC . . . 


	29. The Interrogation

Chapter 29: "The Interrogation"  
  
"Hey," Weiss exclaimed as he strolled back to his desk. "I didn't expect you to still be around when I got back from my briefing. Why are you still here?"  
  
"I'm just trying to finish up these reports so I won't have to look at them tomorrow," Vaughn sighed.  
  
"Geez, Mike. Now that you're back, don't feel like you have to stay late to remind us of what a hard worker you are," Weiss teased. "How about we blow this joint and go get some beers and something to eat?"  
  
"I would love that, but I can't tonight."  
  
"*Can't*? Why not? I know that Sydney's on her way to Italy, so what's your excuse?"  
  
"Jack Bristow is my excuse," Vaughn frowned. "Apparently he decided that since I'm back in town, it's time for us to have a little chat."  
  
"Seriously? Ouch. How come you didn't tell me about it sooner?"  
  
"Because *I* didn't even find out about it until an hour ago. Donna called to give me my messages, and told me that Jack wants me to meet him at a restaurant."  
  
"So let me get this straight -- Jack set up dinner without even asking you before hand? Damnnnn," he slowly shook his head. "You know, Mike, most of the time, I wish I had your life, but now is not one of those times."  
  
"Gee, thanks, Eric," Vaughn replied, his voice laced with sarcasm. "I'm so glad that I can depend on you to help me see the bright side of this situation."  
  
"Sorry, man," Weiss chuckled. "Listen, I'm sure that dinner will be fine. Jack's probably just going to give you the old 'don't hurt my daughter' speech, but you would never hurt Sydney anyway, so there's nothing to worry about."  
  
"I wish I could be that optimistic, but we're talking about Jack Bristow. He throws out the rule book when it comes to protecting Sydney, and I'm sure he wasn't thrilled to find out that we were seeing each other -- not to mention that since I've been gone, he's had months to think about it and get even angrier. And now I get to go and try to convince him that I'm *not* putting his daughter's life at risk every time I lay eyes on her? I'm not looking forward to it," Vaughn finished as he crumpled up a piece of paper.  
  
"That's the understatement of the year," Weiss snorted. "You look incredibly tense right now, man. In fact, I'm getting tense just looking at you."  
  
"I *am* tense, you jackass," he laughed, throwing his balled up paper at Weiss. "There's only one person who could relieve my anxiety, and she's halfway to Italy by now."  
  
"Yeah, that kind of sucks, but just think of all the sympathy lovin' you're gonna get when she comes home and finds out what Jack put you through," Weiss grinned.  
  
Vaughn laughed at the silly expression on Weiss's face, enjoying the first true moment of levity he'd felt since Donna called. He shook his head and thought about Sydney as he turned back to his work, reminding himself that she was worth any amount of torture that Jack was going to inflict on him. All he had to do was keep thinking about her, and he would be able to survive his first dinner alone with his future father-in-law.  
  
*****  
  
"Here's your drink, Mr. Bristow"  
  
"Thank you, Joey."  
  
"I'll show your guest back as soon as he arrives."  
  
"Thank you."   
  
Jack leaned back in his chair and took a long swallow of scotch. He was glad that Sydney was out of the country, because he knew that she would have strongly objected to the way that he had sprung this surprise meeting on Vaughn. Rationally, he knew that it would have been much more polite of him to give Vaughn notice before he invited him to dinner, but he much preferred to see how the young man handled himself in an unanticipated, high-pressure situation. He knew from working with Vaughn that he was usually unflappable in a stressful situation, but he also knew that Vaughn tended to think and act emotionally than rather tactically when it came to his daughter. Any pretense of *Agent* Vaughn evaporated when Sydney was at issue.   
  
Jack absently swirled the ice cubes around his glass and watched as the amber liquid slid over them. He had both been looking forward to and dreading this meeting ever since the day he found Sydney sitting broken and alone in the warehouse - actually, since before even then. He'd a hunch long ago that he would one day be having this conversation with Vaughn, and as usual, he turned out to be right.   
  
He glanced around the room, remembering the day that he walked in expecting to meet his handler, and found Vaughn waiting for him instead. Although was surprised to see Vaughn rather than Kretchmer, he was already well aware of Vaughn's identity by that point. In fact, the minute he found out who had been assigned to be Sydney's handler, he set out to learn everything he could about Michael Vaughn, wanting to make sure that he was competent enough to handle her case. Thus, by the time he finally met Vaughn, he had thoroughly familiarized himself with his CIA file, and the face that he saw when he entered the private room that day was the same youthful, eager face he'd seen in the pictures in the file.  
  
So technically, it had been more of a power play than anything else when he shoved Vaughn against the wall and pulled his gun on him. He hadn't been concerned about his safety, but he definitely wanted to intimidate Vaughn into being concerned for his *own* safety, especially since the younger agent had had the audacity to pull his file and check up on him in some misguided effort to impress Sydney.   
  
From the beginning, however, it was clear to Jack that Vaughn didn't fear him. He was taken aback and slightly unsettled by Jack's "greeting," as he should have been, but he didn't hesitate to express his concerns about Sydney's status at the Romanian asylum, and he didn't bother to mask his anger and irritation at Jack's seeming lack of concern about her well-being. It irritated Jack to no end that Vaughn didn't have the good sense to back down from him; that was when it became apparent that Vaughn's concern for his daughter wasn't strictly professional, and when the chance presented itself, Jack couldn't resist the opportunity to call the younger agent on it.  
  
* Taking them down is what gets her up in the morning. Or did you think it was those meetings she has with you?*  
  
It was with slight guilt that Jack recalled the shocked look that had flashed across Vaughn's face, evidence that he'd indeed struck a nerve. He set his glass back down on the table and leaned back in his chair. He wasn't exactly sure when his words had stopped being true, but he eventually realized that somewhere along the way, Sydney had stopped being motivated by revenge, and had instead become motivated by love, love for the once person she couldn't have. Jack couldn't begin to imagine how strong her love for Vaughn truly was, but he knew that it must be all-consuming if her renewed drive and determination to put an end to SD-6 was any indication. Now, she was closer than ever to finally putting this horrible chapter of her life behind her, and Jack supposed that he owed Vaughn a debt of gratitude for providing her the motivation she needed to realize her goal.  
  
However, at the same time that he was awed by the depth of Sydney's feelings for Vaughn, he was also more than a little afraid of them. He knew that he had no right to expect that he'd be the most important man in Sydney's life -- especially considering that he'd been an absentee father for most of it -- but it was difficult for him to accept that he was now a distant second. Well, maybe not a *distant* second, he reasoned, but he knew that if Sydney ever had to make a choice between him and the man she loved, there wouldn't be much of a contest, and he was deeply conflicted about that.   
  
After everything that Sydney had been through in her short life, Jack desperately wanted her to be happy, wanted her to spend her life with someone that she loved, and who felt the same way about her. But knowing that she had actually found that person terrified him. He hadn't been concerned when she and Danny had gotten engaged, because he wasn't a part of her life then, and hadn't held out much hope that that would ever change. But now that he and Sydney had finally mended the rift in their relationship and forged a bond with each other, he was afraid of losing her to someone that would be more important to her than him.  
  
Of course, he knew that every father felt that way about his daughter, but Jack Bristow was unaccustomed to experiencing these kinds of emotions, and he didn't like it one bit. He was well aware that if Sydney and Vaughn's relationship continued along its current trajectory, the two of them would eventually marry, but he couldn't bear the thought of giving her away to another man. He was pondering his reluctance to do so when the door to the room opened and Joey escorted Vaughn inside. Jack stood and nodded at the younger agent, who acknowledged him with a slight nod of his own.  
  
"Is there anything I can get for you, sir?" Joey asked Vaughn.  
  
"Vodka," Vaughn answered after he saw Jack's glass sitting on the table. "A double, actually."  
  
"Yes sir. Another scotch, Mr. Bristow?"  
  
"Please." Joey exited the room and Jack gestured to the chair across the table from m. "Please, have a seat, Agent Vaughn."  
  
Despite the fact that he'd spent the drive over to the restaurant steeling his nerves for this encounter, Vaughn suddenly felt like the kid who'd been called into the principal's office, a fact that he desperately tried to hide from Jack. "How have you been, Jack?"  
  
"Good, and yourself? How was Langley?" he pleasantly asked.  
  
"Good. Langley was good, but I'm definitely glad to be back home."  
  
"I'm sure you are," Jack nodded as Joey returned with their drinks. "I think we'll wait a while before we order, Joey."  
  
Vaughn gave Joey a wan smile as he left the room again, and tried to ignore the fact that he was starving because he'd been too busy to eat lunch.   
  
"I had a feeling that you didn't ask me here to introduce me to how great the food was," Vaughn wryly remarked, attempting to break the ice.  
  
"No, I didn't," Jack acknowledged. "I thought we should talk about your relationship with my daughter. I'm sure Sydney mentioned to you that she told me about it."  
  
"Yes, she did," Vaughn answered after clearing his throat. "She told me when she came to see me in Virginia. I'm sure that it must have been a surprise for you to find out that we'd been seeing each other for so long without your knowledge, and I'm sorry if -- "  
  
"Actually, it came as anything *but* a shock. I've read through your file, Vaughn, and you're a good agent -- in fact, some of your undercover work before you moved to operations is quite impressive. But one thing that you've never been particularly adept at is hiding your feelings for my daughter."  
  
"No, I suppose I haven't, but -- "  
  
"Of course," Jack interrupted again, "I rather hoped that you'd at least have the good sense to try and hide those feelings until Sydney's work at SD-6 was completed, both for the sake of your career and her life."  
  
Vaughn clenched his jaw and could already feel his blood pressure rising, even though he had expected the conversation to go this way. "So you think that Sydney and I are behaving foolishly by being together?"  
  
"I didn't say that, Agent Vaughn -- "  
  
"But you're obviously thinking it," Vaughn challenged, interrupting Jack this time. "I can't blame you for thinking that, Jack. I've had similar concerns myself, and whether you believe it or not, I never intended to pursue a relationship with Sydney while SD-6 was still active. But sometimes things happen when you least expect them to, and you're powerless to prevent them."  
  
"So you were powerless to control yourself? Powerless to stay away from my daughter? Is that what you're saying to me, Vaughn?"  
  
"Well, when you put it that way, of course it sounds ridiculous, but yes, I would say that I *was* powerless to stay away from Sydney." He shook his head, remembering all the longing glances that they used to share and every excruciating time that he'd wanted to kiss her but couldn't.  
  
"Jack, I fought my feelings for Sydney for as long as I could, because I knew how dangerous it was to get involved with her. But when she showed up in Lake Tahoe, and we finally got the opportunity to spend time alone with each other, without the CIA or SD-6 watching us, it was impossible to deny those feelings any longer. I know it may not have been the smartest idea to act on those feelings, but I don't regret it, and I won't apologize for it."  
  
"You don't regret it?" Jack sharply asked. "Vaughn, you're putting my daughter at great risk of having her status as a double agent exposed."  
  
"Yes, I'm aware of that," Vaughn answered defensively.  
  
"Are you? Do you have any idea of what Sloane would do to Sydney if he found out that she was romantically involved with a CIA agent? If he found out that she even *knew* a CIA agent?"  
  
"I have a pretty good idea, Jack. You know, despite what you may think, I'm not completely naive. Sydney and I both appreciate the risk that we're taking, but we both believe that it's worth it to be together. I don't necessarily expect you to understand that, but if nothing else, you must know that I would never intentionally put Sydney in danger."  
  
"You put her in danger every time you look at her, every time you meet her at the warehouse, every time the two of you are together," Jack countered.  
  
"And you think that I don't know that? That I haven't thought about it more timed than I can count?" Vaughn sighed and wearily rubbed his fingers over his closed eyes, desperately trying to prevent his throbbing headache from exploding into a migraine.   
  
"Jack, I live in perpetual fear that something might happen to Sydney, and maybe if I were a stronger man than I am, I could stay away from her until SD-6 is gone. But I'm not that strong; I *need* her, and I know that probably makes me seem weak in your eyes, but I'm not ashamed to admit that I can't live without her. I'm completely in love with your daughter, and if it became necessary to protect her, I would sacrifice my life for hers without thinking twice about it. You have to know that, Jack," he pleaded.  
  
Jack studied the young man sitting across from him and knew without a doubt that he was being sincere, and although he himself had spent the past 22 years trying to bury similar feelings, he could still remember when he once felt the same way, when he would have gladly traded his own life for his wife's. He knew that there was nothing back then that could have kept him away from Laura, and he knew that it was equally pointless to expect Vaughn to keep his distance from Sydney -- not that he necessarily wanted that. Despite his early misgivings about Vaughn, and despite the hard time he was currently giving him, he knew that Vaughn was good for Sydney. With the exception of the first few weeks after Vaughn left for Virginia, he couldn't remember ever seeing Sydney look happier or more alive than she had in recent months, and he knew that most of that was due to her relationship with Vaughn.   
  
"I do know that you would do anything to protect Sydney," Jack nodded, "and I'd expect nothing less of you. I'm sure I don't have to tell you what I would do to you if you ever hurt her."   
  
Vaughn smiled wryly, easily picking up on the subtle menacing tone lurking beneath Jack's smooth voice. "No, you don't have to tell me. I'm fully aware of what you're capable of."  
  
Jack flashed the briefest hint of a smile before adopting his serious expression once again. "As long as Sydney remains happy, I'll never have to show you first hand what I'm capable of."  
  
"Then I definitely intend to keep her happy. I mean that, Jack. Her happiness and safety are the only things that matter to me."  
  
"I'm glad to hear it, because those are the only things that matter to me as well." Jack took a long, appraising look at Vaughn before asking his next question. "What exactly are your intentions where my daughter is concerned?"  
  
"My intentions?" Vaughn nervously repeated. He had already asked Sydney to marry him, so his intentions were crystal clear in his own mind. So he was at a complete loss to explain why Jack's question had made his palms begin to sweat.  
  
"SD-6 isn't going to be an obstacle for the two of you for much longer, and surely you must have considered where your relationship with Sydney is headed, what you want to happen between the two of you once everything is over."  
  
"Well, of course I have," Vaughn evasively replied. There were about a thousand reasons why he had no intention of revealing his true intentions to Jack right now.  
  
"Vaughn, I know that my inquiry may seem intrusive, but Sydney has been through a lot in her life; she's had a lifetime of disappointment, some of which I've unfortunately been directly responsible for. But of all the horrible things that have happened to her, losing Danny was probably the worst of them. She was prepared to spend the rest of her life with him, and he was taken away from her in the cruelest and most violent way possible.  
  
"I've experienced that kind of loss myself," Jack said reflectively, "and the pain of losing the person that you love, the person that you thought you would spend the rest of your life with, is . . . well, it's beyond anything I could describe. Once you've lost someone that way, it's difficult, if not impossible, to open yourself up again, to risk loving someone and losing them again. At least that's how it's been in my experience, and Sydney is more like me than either she or I may care to admit. For her to be willing to take that risk with you says a lot about how much you mean to her, and I just want to make sure that she won't end up regretting that decision."  
  
Vaughn stared at Jack incredulously. "What are you saying? That you think that there's a risk of me breaking her heart, even though I just admitted that I would die for her if I had to? Even after I told you that I can't live without her?"  
  
"No, of course, I'm not saying that you would do that intentionally, but things happen, Vaughn, despite our best intentions. Weren't you just telling me that earlier? Since the day that you met, you and Sydney were placed in a very unique situation, which would naturally cause the two of you to have intense feelings for each other. This kind of thing happens all the time with agents and their handlers, even when those feelings aren't romantic. When you're a double agent, your handler is the *only* person who knows any semblance of the truth about your life, the only person who can even hope to understand what you go through on a daily basis, and that creates a bond, whether you consciously try to cultivate it or not.  
  
"All I'm saying, Vaughn, is that your relationship with my daughter has been shrouded in secrecy and danger, and sometimes that can make your feelings seem more intense than they really are. You can't tell me that you haven't relished knowing that you're the only person in Sydney's life that she can be completely truthful with. Obviously, you occupied a very unique position in her life when you were still her handler, and I just hope that the two of you haven't confused that for something more than what it is."  
  
Vaughn was momentarily at a loss for words as he fully digested what Jack was suggesting. He wanted to be angry at Jack's insinuations, but he had asked himself the same questions during many of the sleepless nights when Sydney had been away on missions. He'd asked himself if perhaps his attraction to her was heightened merely because he was personally responsible for her success or failure as a double agent, wondered if his feelings for her were so intense simply because he liked being the only person she could confide in. But each time he considered those possibilities, he came to the same, inescapable conclusion: his love for Sydney had nothing to do with the circumstances that brought her into his life or the secretive nature of their relationship.  
  
"Jack, I get what you're saying, because I've given it a lot of thought myself, but I'm not fooling myself into thinking that I'm in love with Sydney. I don't want to be with her because I think sneaking around is exciting, or because I like the danger and secrecy of our relationship, and I'm not going to get bored once those aspects of our relationship no longer exist. You have *no* idea how much I want to be able to go out in public with her without the fear of being found out. I want to have a real relationship with her out in the open, and I'm not going to change my mind about that once SD-6 is gone. If anything, that's the reason why I busted my ass at Langley trying to help get rid of the Alliance as soon as possible."  
  
Vaughn took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair as he finished. "All I'm saying is that I'm not in love with Sydney because of what she does or because we work together. I would be in love with her if we met in a grocery store, or at a park, or anywhere else. I love her because of *who* she is, not what she is."  
  
Jack nodded, but silently wondered if it was truly possible to love someone that way, thinking not of Sydney's relationship with Vaughn, but of his own relationship with Laura, or Irina, or whomever it was that he had once been married to. Thinking about her instantly made him curious about something else, however.  
  
"How do you feel about Sydney's mother?" He carefully asked Vaughn before taking another swallow of his drink.  
  
"What do you mean, how do I feel about Sydney's mother? I don't think I've made it a secret how I feel about Irina Derevko."  
  
"No, but I mean, how do you feel about being in love with the daughter of the woman who murdered your father?"  
  
"It's not an ideal situation, obviously," Vaughn sighed, "but it doesn't affect the way that I feel about Sydney, as I'm sure you can understand."  
  
"Actually, I can't understand that. Knowing the truth about Irina has very much affected the way that I feel about Sydney. I suppose that's why I distanced myself from her for so many years, and why my current desire to protect her extends far beyond the threat posed by Arvin Sloane. It would be impossible for the way that I feel about Irina not to color my feelings for Sydney, and I have a hard time believing that it's any easier for you."  
  
"That's a big presumption to make," Vaughn evenly replied.  
  
"Perhaps, but that doesn't make it any less true."  
  
Vaughn suddenly grew fascinated by the ice cubes in his glass, staring at them as if they would magically change the topic of conversation. "What can I say? I knew Sydney before I found out about Irina. I'd already gotten to see what kind of person she was, how amazing she was, and what a good heart she had. My perception of her didn't change when I found out what her mother did to my father."  
  
"So you've never once wondered whether Sydney was capable of doing the same thing to you that Irina did to me?" Jack skeptically asked. "You've never had even the tiniest doubt that perhaps she's is capable of betraying you the way that Irina betrayed me?"  
  
"Not even once," Vaughn averred. It was true, he'd never even considered the possibility until Jack mentioned it just now.  
  
"That's heartwarming, Vaughn, but I never would have considered that possibility either. I was blinded by love," he said bitterly. "I was a fool and it never occurred to me that my *wife* could be using me, but men like us, men who do what we do, who know important, classified secrets can't afford to be so trusting and unassuming."  
  
"What are you saying, Jack? Are you saying that you think Sydney is capable of the things that Irina did? Do you really believe that?" Vaughn asked incredulously.  
  
"Relax, Vaughn," Jack said patronizingly. "Of course, I believe that Sydney is a genuinely good person. I've seen the way that she's reacted to each new crisis in her life, the lengths that she'll go to for the people that she loves, and it impresses me. Her capacity to love unconditionally is, frankly, something that she didn't inherit from me," he admitted.   
  
"But I believe that the same capacity to love and forgive that I admire so much could one day be to her detriment. I fear that she may let herself become attached to Irina -- even more attached than she already is -- and I'm deeply concerned about the effect that it could have on her. I think that you, more than anyone, should understand that and be equally concerned."  
  
"I get it," Vaughn rolled his eyes. "You're trying to recruit me in your campaign against Irina, aren't you?"  
  
"I don't *have* a campaign against Irina," Jack witheringly replied. "I merely wish to control the amount of influence that she has on my daughter, and if you were smart, you would do the same thing."  
  
"No, I wouldn't," Vaughn shook his head. "Jack, I can't control Sydney that way, and neither can you. We both know that she doesn't take it well when people tell her what to do or try to manipulate her. And even if there was something I could do, I wouldn't try to control her that way. Her relationship with Irina is actually something that I prefer not to be involved with at all."  
  
"So you would instead sit on the sidelines and do nothing as she grows closer to that woman?" Jack harshly demanded.  
  
"No," Vaughn said tightly. "I would instead support Sydney in whatever decision she made about the kind of relationship that she wanted to have with her mother, and I'd do it without letting it affect me personally."  
  
"That's remarkably mature, Vaughn -- and ridiculously naive," Jack scoffed. "I admire and respect your obvious trust and love for my daughter, but don't let that blind you to the realities of her bloodlines."  
  
"I don't believe that that's what I'm doing," Vaughn firmly replied. "I'm not letting my feelings for Sydney cloud my judgment about Irina. I couldn't do that even if I wanted to, Jack. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about the impact that she's had on my life, and it hasn't been easy dealing with her renewed presence in all of our lives. But *that* is separate from my relationship with Sydney, and I prefer to keep it that way."  
  
"And exactly how do you expect to do that, Vaughn? What happens if you and Sydney have children one day? How do you hope to explain your twisted family trees to them?"  
  
"I don't know," Vaughn shrugged with irritation, "but what does that have to do with my feelings for Sydney? What, should I stop loving her because it might be difficult to explain Irina to our kids one day? Do you think I should walk away from the best thing that ever happened to me just because her mother is a murdering psychopath?"  
  
"A murdering psychopath? Is that how you see her?" Jack arched his eyebrow, pleased that he finally seemed to have uncovered Vaughn's true feelings about Irina.  
  
"Knowing the brutal way that she murdered my father, it's hard to see her as anything else."  
  
"You might need to deal with that before things progress any further with my daughter," Jack cautioned.  
  
Vaughn shook his head and leaned back in his chair. "I already told you, Jack. Irina doesn't affect how I feel about Sydney."  
  
"Maybe not, but she affects you nonetheless, and like it or not, Vaughn, no matter how much you try to fight it or ignore it, she's going to be a continued presence in your life. Speaking from personal experience, I can tell you that it may be unbearable for you. It's something that you should really consider."  
  
"Then I'll take it under advisement," Vaughn quietly replied, wanting simply to change the subject and end the conversation about Irina, which wasn't helping to improve either his mood or his headache. A surprisingly comfortable silence hung in the air for a few moments before Jack spoke again.  
  
"I'm sorry."   
  
Vaughn's head snapped up in surprise. He didn't think he had ever heard Jack Bristow apologize to anyone before, and he wouldn't have even thought that Jack knew how to do such a thing.   
  
"I should have been more sensitive to how painful it must be for you to think about Irina, to think about what she did to your father."  
  
"I can't imagine that it's any easier for you to think about her," Vaughn acknowledged.  
  
"It's not, but I don't have the luxury of choosing to ignore her, because I will protect my daughter from her at any cost. I was simply hoping to impress upon you the reality that you may need to do the same thing one day."  
  
Vaughn nodded with a resigned sigh. "I know that. As much as I say that I would never interfere in Sydney's relationship with Irina, I know that it may become necessary at some point, but I just -- "  
  
"You're afraid that it would upset Sydney, that she would resent you for it," Jack nodded understandingly. "I'm quite familiar with those fears, Vaughn, and after what I did in Madagascar, I know that it's at best, a temporary situation. Would you rather have Sydney resent you for a while, or would you rather have her be safe?"  
  
"Safe, of course, but I also have to trust her. I have to trust her judgment and her feelings, her right to make her own decisions. And I also have to believe her when she tells me that she would never let her mother come between us."  
  
"She told you that?" Jack asked with surprise. "And you believed her?"  
  
"Yes. Why wouldn't I?"   
  
"Oh, I'm not saying that you were wrong to believe her, I'm simply surprised that she would say something like that. That's good," Jack nodded. "It means that perhaps Sydney realizes that the people she already has in her life, the ones who haven't betrayed her, are more important than Irina."  
  
Vaughn shook his head. "It doesn't necessarily mean that, Jack."  
  
"Well, it at least means that she's cognizant of the fact that you're more worthy of her trust and loyalty than Irina is."  
  
"Maybe," Vaughn shrugged, "but I'm not in competition with Irina, and neither are you. Sydney loves you, Jack. You should have faith in that and not feel as if you need to keep her away from Irina to ensure that she keeps loving you."  
  
"That's easier said than done, Vaughn," Jack softly smiled. "Easier said than done. I hope that you never have to learn that first hand."  
  
*****  
  
Two days later, Vaughn was wrapping up a late night in his office at CIA headquarters when his concentration was broken by the sound of his door being closed and locked. As soon as he looked up to see who had entered his office, Sydney was pulling him to his feet, wrapping her arms around his neck as she passionately kissed him. Once he recovered from the unexpected assault on his lips and his senses, he pulled her into his body, kissing her with equal hunger, finding it hard to believe that he'd forgotten in the span of two days how incredible it felt to kiss her. He couldn't believe that he had survived for two days without her, much less all the weeks and months while he was in Virginia.  
  
Sydney slid onto his desk and pulled him until he stood between her legs as their kisses alternated between languid, deep kisses and frantic, urgent ones. Their hands roamed everywhere as they touched and drew closer to each other, and it wasn't long before kissing was no longer enough for either of them and they began divesting each other of pertinent items of clothing. Sydney finally tore her lips away from Vaughn's, panting as she tried to regain her breath, but her eyes locked on Vaughn's, wordlessly communicating her need for him as their hands and fingertips softly brushed across each newly exposed patch of skin. They eschewed foreplay, however, instead giving into their overwhelming desire for one another, and they were soon making love on the desk, drowning in their passion for on another as she wrapped her legs around his waist and dragged her fingernails down his back, and he kissed a slow, torturous path down her neck to the soft skin just above the scalloped lace edges of her bra.   
  
For the first time that either of them could remember, they were completely silent in their lovemaking, save for their soft moans and sighs of mutual pleasure. They moved in perfect unison as they surrendered to their pent-up longing for each other, and it wasn't long before they found the release that they both needed. Vaughn slowly kissed Sydney as they rode out the waves of bliss together and she lovingly ran her fingers through his hair.   
  
"Hi," she breathlessly whispered the first word that either of them had spoken since she entered in his office.   
  
"Hey," he smiled as he pulled himself upright and drew her unbuttoned shirt back over her shoulders. "Remind me to call security in the morning and tell them that there's a crazy woman wandering the halls at night and making love to random agents on their desks," he laughed into her ear.  
  
"Gee, you're so funny, Vaughn," she mocked as she buttoned his shirt back up. "Did you miss me?" she flirtatiously asked.  
  
"Eh, not really," he shrugged. "But you obviously missed me."  
  
"Yes, I did, and unlike you, I'm not too much of a jerk to admit it," she sniffed.  
  
He trailed his fingers along the base of her scalp, moving them up into her hair and holding her head still as he gave her another deep, searing kiss. "You know I missed you," he whispered.  
  
"I know," she grinned. "I just wanted to hear you say it."  
  
"I thought you were going to wait for me to order Joey's Pizza," he teased, remembering their conversation just before she left for Turin.  
  
"I was, but they take too long to deliver, and I couldn't wait," she giggled as she scooted off of his desk and smoothed her wrinkled skirt.  
  
He grinned back at her, amazed by the effortless way that she always made him laugh. "You're adorable," he murmured. "I love you."  
  
"I'd probably believe you more if your pants were pulled up when you said that," she teased. He rolled his eyes, but nevertheless pulled his boxers and pants back up and tucked his shirt back in. "So what kinds of exciting things did you do while I was gone?"  
  
"Well, I worked and watched the hockey playoffs, and had fascinating intellectual conversations with Weiss, but I have to say that the highlight of the past two days was when I had dinner with your father."  
  
"You what?" Sydney's eyes grew wide as saucers, and she studied his expression to see if he was joking. "You really had dinner with my dad?"  
  
"Yeah, I did."  
  
"How could the two of you -- "  
  
"We met at the restaurant where he and Kretchmer have their meets. It was safe," he assured her.  
  
"Wait a minute," she said, making a face, "didn't he pull a gun on you the last time you met him there?"  
  
"Yeah, thanks for reminding me," he said with a mock grimace. "You know, that's going to make a great story for our kids one day -- 'the first time I met your grandpa, he nearly blew my head off.'"  
  
"Vaughn," she laughingly shook her head, "you *cannot* tell our kids that." She grew serious and cupped his cheek with her hand, softly brushing her thumb against it. "Are you okay?" she questioned.  
  
"Well, he didn't pull a gun on me this time, if that's what you're asking."  
  
"It's not," she shook her head. "I just . . . how bad was it?" she asked, already cringing in anticipation of his answer.  
  
"Actually? It wasn't that bad at all," he said, smiling as she attempted to rebuckle his belt. I think your dad just wanted to make sure that he and I were clear on a few things, and we are. It could have been much more painful than it was, and it really wasn't that painful."  
  
"Are you sure? Because, I swear, if he threatened you or said anything to you that was -- "  
  
"Syd," he interrupted, clasping her hands in his, "it was fine, I promise. I think your dad and I actually understand each other a lot better now."  
  
"Yeah?" she asked, still sounding unconvinced. "Did you tell him that we're -- "  
  
"Engaged? No," he laughed. "I didn't want to press my luck. I'm pretty sure that things wouldn't have gone nearly as well if I had told him that I'm going to marry you. I think I'm going to need backup for that one."  
  
She laughed and gave him a quick kiss. "Don't worry, you'll have it, I promise."  
  
TBC . . . 


	30. Revelations

Chapter 30: "Revelations"  
  
Vaughn absently tapped his pen against his desk as he sat in the joint task force center. He was finding it impossible to concentrate this morning, for reasons that sadly had nothing to do with memories of his and Sydney's rendezvous in his office the night before. Although he would much rather have been reliving every moment of their frenzied coupling, his mind was occupied by thoughts of another Bristow woman.   
  
From his vantage point at his desk, he could see all of the security monitors keeping tabs on the ops center, but the third monitor from the right kept demanding his attention even as he tried to ignore it. He closed his eyes tightly, attempting to block out the images on the monitor, but even in his mind, he could still see Irina Derevko pacing back in forth in her cell.  
  
Before he left for Virginia, he'd gotten used to seeing Irina on the monitors, usually ignoring her, but sometimes finding himself mesmerized by her efficient movement, her calm meditation, her inescapable resemblance to the woman who held his heart under lock and key. He had long since ceased to be affected by the grainy images on the monitors -- or so he thought, because they had been affecting him quite a lot in the past couple of days, a fact that he attributed to his conversation he'd had with Jack.   
  
As much as he hated to admit it, Jack had raised some very salient points, and ever since then, thoughts of Irina had been preoccupying Vaughn's mind, although they were intermingled with his usual anxiety and concern for Sydney's well-being while she was away on her mission. Now that Sydney was home safely, however, Irina was in the forefront of his thoughts, and he was less than thrilled about it. He knew, however, that she was simply going to remain there the longer that he avoided dealing with her, and before he even realized what he was doing, he found himself standing before her, separated only by the glass wall of her cell.  
  
Irina and Vaughn simply stared at each other for a few minutes, each trying to detect any changes in the other's appearance over the five months since they had last seen each other.  
  
"You're back," she acknowledged, finally breaking the silence.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Sydney must be happy about that," she smiled.  
  
"I didn't come by for a social visit," he announced with irritation.  
  
"Oh." He followed her eyes as she glanced at one of the security cameras overhead and looked back at him questioningly.  
  
"I'm not concerned about that. Now that I'm no longer Sydney's case officer, my relationship with her is none of the CIA's business," he defiantly answered.  
  
"Very well, then. What can I do for you, Agent Vaughn?" Her tone was outwardly solicitous, but he could hear the almost imperceptible challenge in her words and he already hated her for it, so he decided to skip the niceties and get straight to the point.   
  
"The first time that I came to see you, why did you tell me that I looked just like my father?"  
  
Irina was momentarily taken aback, but she managed to recover before her shock became evident to Vaughn. There weren't many people who could make her uneasy or uncomfortable, but he was one of the few, and she supposed it was due to the unique and terrible ways in which their lives had intersected.   
  
"Surely I'm not the only person who has ever commented on the resemblance between you and your father. I'm sure that your mother must see it as well."  
  
Vaughn's blood began to boil at the same time that he felt a chill run along the length of his spine. "Don't you dare talk about my mother," he spat. "I mean it, don't ever mention her again," he warned.  
  
Irina was startled by the way that his green eyes turned a threatening black and she took a deep breath to relax herself. "I'm sorry," she said sincerely. "Still, the fact remains that you do look very much like him."  
  
"That's not how you meant it, though" Vaughn shook his head. "You meant for those words to hurt me, and that wasn't the only time that you threw his death in my face. Why?"   
  
"Because I was testing you," she admitted.  
  
"Testing me?" he asked in disbelief.  
  
"Yes," she said, as if her reasons for doing so were obvious. "You were my daughter's handler, and I needed to know that she was working with someone who would do anything for her, anything to make sure that she didn't become another victim of Arvin Sloane and the Alliance."  
  
"What does that have to do with -- "  
  
"When you came to see me that first time, I knew that you had come so Sydney wouldn't have to. I knew that Kendall was pressuring her to come talk to me, and that she would never accede to his demands. You came instead, and I saw the fear in your eyes. I saw how difficult it was for you to be here, to talk to me, and it didn't take long to understand why you were doing it. It was instantly obvious how much you cared for my daughter."  
  
"If it was so obvious, why did you need to test me?" Vaughn testily asked. He was beginning to chafe at the realization that he was so transparent to both of Sydney's parents.  
  
"I needed to know just how far you would go for her, whether you had a breaking point. I soon learned that you didn't. When she was trapped in FAPSI headquarters, you rushed over here and asked for my help without thinking twice about it."  
  
"I don't think twice when it comes to Sydney," he shook his head.  
  
"You don't think at all, Agent Vaughn," she corrected. "You *feel,* you react. I needed to know that, and because I was trapped in this cell, the only way I could think to test you was to say those things to you and see how you reacted to them, see whether they affected the way that you felt about my daughter."  
  
"They didn't."  
  
"I know that now," she nodded as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Agent Vaughn, I know that you have no reason to believe anything that I say, and I know that you probably won't, but I want you to know that I appreciate all of the things you've done for Sydney. I don't think that she -- she would probably be dead by now if she had been assigned to another agent, one who didn't care about her as much as you do."  
  
Vaughn wasn't sure how to respond to Irina's assertion. He wanted to believe that any of his colleagues would have made the same kind of sacrifices for Sydney that he had, but he didn't know if that was true or not. "Your daughter is much more than a professional responsibility to me," he acknowledged, "but you already know that."   
  
"Yes. It's been obvious since the day we met. I'm just -- Thank you for not turning your back on her when you found out who she was, when you found out who *I* was," she quietly said.  
  
Vaughn merely nodded before he turned to leave the detention facility. Something kept nagging at him as he began to walk away, however, and he turned and slowly walked back toward the cell as Irina watched him uncertainly.   
  
"You say that I have no reason to believe anything that you say to me, but I need you to prove otherwise."  
  
"I'm not sure that I know what you're talking about, Agent Vaughn."  
  
"I need you to tell me the truth right now."  
  
"The truth about what?"  
  
"The truth about why you killed my father." He watched as she instantly grew pale and her eyes took on a haunted expression. "I don't need to know how -- I already know more about that than I ever wanted to -- but I need you to tell me why, because his CIA file doesn't explain it."  
  
"I'm not sure that I can explain it either," she quickly replied. "I was never told why the KGB wanted William killed. I never knew what kind of work he was doing at the time."  
  
Vaughn's eyes widened in surprise and he was shocked to learn that Irina hadn't even known why she was ordered to kill his father. All this time, he had believed that there was a connection between his father and Irina, that their paths had crossed before, that he had somehow compromised her mission objectives and needed to be dealt with. Finding out that she had never known his father and killed him for absolutely no reason at all was almost more than he could take, and he suddenly felt sick to his stomach.  
  
"Are you telling me that you killed him simply because you were ordered to? Without even knowing why they wanted him dead? How could you -- why would you do that?"  
  
"How often do *you* question orders, *Agent* Vaughn?"   
  
"A lot more often since I met your daughter," he pointedly replied. "I've found myself questioning all kinds of orders for her, and you've never struck me as someone afraid to speak her mind, so how could you not challenge what they wanted you to do?"  
  
"I couldn't," she said softly.  
  
"Why not?" he asked, his voice low and intense.  
  
"Because I couldn't, and that's all I intend to say about this. You should go," she counseled.  
  
"You owe me answers," he persisted.   
  
"You don't want the answers that I have to give you. You should trust me on this," Irina gently warned him. It was obvious that Sydney hadn't told Vaughn what she knew about William's death, and Irina was terrified of the impact that it might have on their relationship if Irina told him herself.  
  
"Tell me." Vaughn's voice was quiet but forceful. "I'm not leaving here until you do."  
  
"You really should."   
  
"I'm not going to."  
  
They stared at each other for several long moments, his eyes challenging her to answer his question, her eyes pleading with him to drop it and leave. It soon became apparent that he really didn't intend to leave until he got some answers, and she silently prayed that the answers he received wouldn't destroy her daughter's happiness. She wrapped her arms around herself protectively and focused her vision on a spot over his shoulder, not wanting to look him in the eye as she explained.  
  
"As you know," she quietly began, "the KGB sent me here to spy on Jack, to gather secrets primarily about Project Christmas, but also pertaining to other classified matters as they arose. Initially, I was just supposed to date him for a couple of years, but as he rose through the ranks of the agency and became a senior officer, the KGB thought it would be advantageous to make my assignment more long term, and it just so happened to be around the same time that Jack asked me to marry him.   
  
"So, we got married, and a couple of years later, I became pregnant with Sydney. My superiors were adamantly opposed to the idea of me having an American child, but I refused to terminate the pregnancy and they finally relented. For the first year after Sydney was born, I was happier than I had ever been before. Even though I knew that my life was a lie, the way that I felt about my family was not, and when my superiors realized how attached I'd grown to them, how attached I'd grown to my life as Laura Bristow, they decided to use it to their benefit. I'm not sure if you know this, Agent Vaughn, but the best way to control someone isn't to torture her or hold her captive; it's to give her something that she's always wanted, something that's more important to her than anything else, and then threaten her with losing it.  
  
"My superiors understood that, they were counting on that, so a little more than a year after Sydney was born, they began ordering me to kill CIA agents. Each time, they bought my compliance by threatening to harm either Jack or Sydney, sometimes both of them. They knew that I would do anything to keep them safe, and they played on my emotions as a means of coercion."  
  
"Oh god, my father was one of those agents," Vaughn whispered, not even realizing that he'd spoken aloud.  
  
"Yes. That particular time, when they asked me to kill your father, they threatened Sydney. She was only 18 months old at the time, and she was -- " Irina closed her eyes and smiled serenely. "She was my reason for waking up every morning. When they first threatened to kill her, I didn't take them seriously. I couldn't imagine that they would ever kill someone so young, so innocent, but things that happened to the families of some of my fellow agents convinced me otherwise.   
  
"The thought of them killing Sydney terrified me, but they soon came to me and threatened her with something even worse. They threatened to take her one day when I least expected it, to make me live the rest of my life not knowing what happened to her -- whether someone else was raising her, whether she had been placed in the Russian equivalent of Project Christmas, whether they'd train her to be a swallow agent like I was. I wouldn't have known anything, and they knew that I would torture myself everyday wondering what had happened to her.   
  
"You might not understand this, because you're not a parent, but I would rather have known that she was dead than face the uncertainty of never knowing what happened to her or how they might use her. I would have done anything to prevent her from being controlled by them, from being sucked into a life like mine. So my choice was easy and when they gave me the final order to kill your father, I did."  
  
"No," Vaughn said bitterly. "You didn't just kill him, you mangled his body, you maimed him so badly that it took the CIA forensics team two weeks to confirm his identity."  
  
"I know," she acknowledged. "I used his murder to take out all of my rage against my predicament. I thought that if I made his murder appear brutal enough, my superiors would stop questioning my loyalty to my country, and stop asking me to do things to prove it to them."  
  
"And did they?"  
  
"Of course they didn't," she bitterly replied. "If anything, it made them want to test my loyalty even further, concluding, of course, with requiring me to make the ultimate sacrifice when I left Jack and Sydney."  
  
"That wasn't the ultimate sacrifice," Vaughn said in a voice so quiet and controlled that it almost scared Irina by its utter lack of emotion. "I'm sure that leaving them was painful for you, and I'm sure that it hurt, but it wasn't the ultimate sacrifice. You at least got to know that Jack and Sydney were okay. My father never got that. He probably spent his dying moments worrying about me and my mother."  
  
"You're right," Irina said softly, "but sometimes -- " She abruptly stopped talking and Vaughn looked up at her again.  
  
"But what?"  
  
"I, I shouldn't . . . I don't want to upset you more than I already have."  
  
"I don't think that would be possible. What were you going to say?"   
  
"Sometimes I actually think that your father was the luckier of the two of us. Let me explain," she quickly said, raising a hand when Vaughn's eyes flashed in anger. "After I left Jack and Sydney, there were so many times when I wanted to die, when I wished that I were already dead, because that would have been so much less painful than knowing that I could never again be with the two people that I loved most in this world.  
  
"And before you get upset about what I just said, ask yourself whether you'd rather die or be forced to leave Sydney, knowing that you could never be with her again. Could you honestly spend the rest of your life without her, knowing that she thought you were dead? Could you stand the thought of her moving on with her life, or falling in love with someone else, having another man's children?  
  
The stricken look on Vaughn's face confirmed what she already knew.  
  
"I know you think that I haven't been punished for what I've done, and maybe I haven't been punished enough, but every day of my life until the KGB dissolved was a punishment, not having any idea what Sydney and Jack were doing or who they were doing it with. Maybe it will help you rest easier at night knowing that I've spent the past twenty-two years living in a hell of my own making."  
  
"I doubt it," Vaughn quietly replied, "because I've spent the last twenty-*six* years living in another hell of your own making."  
  
Irina looked at the pained expression on Vaughn's face, and for the first time, she began to understand the magnitude of what she'd done to his father. At the same time, however, she realized that he wouldn't have her daughter to love if she hadn't done what she did, and she wasn't sorry for that.  
  
"I don't ever expect you to be able to forgive me, Agent Vaughn, but I did what I did for Sydney. Maybe one day you'll understand that. I hope you'll never have to, but you can't tell me that you wouldn't kill someone if it meant keeping her safe. You love her too much to do anything else."  
  
Vaughn stared at her for a moment before wordlessly turning to leave her cell. Of all the painful revelations that he'd had in the past fifteen minutes, the absolute truth of her last statement was the most painful of all.  
  
*****  
  
"Hi Daddy," Sydney said with mock sweetness as she walked up to her father in the rotunda of the ops center. She saw his back stiffen slightly and she suppressed a smirk just before he turned around to greet her.  
  
"Sydney, you're back."  
  
"Yes, I am," she raised her eyebrow. "So, I guess that means that you won't be able to invite Vaughn to any more surprise dinners."  
  
"I take it that he told you about that."  
  
"Dad," Sydney sighed, "you had to have known that the first thing I would do when I got back was go see him. And just for the record, I would be really pissed about what you did if it weren't for the fact that he really didn't seem to mind."  
  
"He didn't?" Jack asked, with obvious surprise.  
  
"No, which either means that he's not telling me the truth, because you threatened him, or the two of you actually did have a mostly pleasant evening with each other."  
  
"Sydney, you should trust Vaughn and believe whatever he says to you," Jack smiled enigmatically. "I don't feel any need to tell you what he and I discussed, but I think that both of us were enlightened by our conversation and we've reached a new level of understanding with each other."  
  
"You're not just saying that?" Sydney hopefully asked.  
  
"No, I'm not."  
  
"So you approve of our relationship?"  
  
"Well, in all honesty, I wish that the two of you would have waited to pursue a relationship with each other, but what's done is done. Now that I better understand Vaughn's feelings, I'm confident that he'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. So, if you're as enamored with him as you claim to be, then yes, I begrudgingly approve of your relationship." His slight smile betrayed the fact that his acceptance wasn't as begrudging as he made it seem.  
  
"Thanks, Dad," Sydney smiled gratefully. "I really do love him."  
  
"I know you do, honey. I just hope that you remember that and don't let anyone come between the two of you."  
  
Sydney looked at her father quizzically, wondering where that last comment had come from, but it was quickly forgotten as he spoke again.  
  
"Listen, I have a briefing with Devlin in a few minutes, but maybe we can have dinner with each other later in the week. I promise to go much easier on you than I did on Vaughn."  
  
She laughed and nodded. "I'd like that."  
  
"Good. I'll see you later," Jack said before he rushed off to his meeting. Sydney quickly scanned the room, searching for Vaughn, but she didn't see him anywhere. She sighed with disappointment and headed back down the hall to the parking garage when she ran into a harried looking Weiss.  
  
"Sydney, thank god I ran into you," he said with a breathless sigh of relief.  
  
"Weiss, what's wrong?"  
  
"Have you seen Mike at all today?"  
  
"No, I haven't seen him yet. Why? Is something wrong? Did something happen to him?"  
  
"I don't know. All I know is that he was away from his desk for a while and when he came back down into the rotunda, he grabbed his keys from his desk and took off. A couple of agents tried to stop him to talk to him about work stuff, but he blew them off, and they both said that he looked really upset. I've spent the past half hour trying to figure out what's going on, and I was hoping that maybe you might know."  
  
"I have no idea," Sydney whispered. It was so unlike Vaughn to just bolt like that and she couldn't imagine what would make him to do that, unless . . .  
  
"The only thing that I can think of that would make him so frantic is you," Weiss said, echoing her own thoughts. "Are you in some kind of trouble? Has something happened with SD-6?"  
  
"No, not that I know of," she shook her head. "Besides, if something were going on with me, don't you think he would have called to let me know?"  
  
"Yeah, unless he didn't have time or he didn't want to scare you." Weiss ran an impatient hand through his hair and sighed as he tried to think of other alternatives.  
  
"Listen, Weiss," Sydney said, hoping that her voice didn't sound as shaky and panicked as she felt. "You stay here and wait to hear from him or from anyone else who might know anything, okay? I'm going to try to find him."  
  
"Syd, do you think that's a good idea? I mean, if something is -- "  
  
"I have to find him, Weiss," she urgently pleaded. "I can't just stay here and do nothing if something is wrong, or something happened to him. I have to know. I have to leave," she said as she hurriedly began to head for the parking garage. "Call me if you find out anything," she called over her shoulder.  
  
*****  
  
Sydney briskly walked down the hall of the warehouse and breathed a deep sigh of relief when she reached the gate and saw Vaughn sitting on one of the tables with his back turned to her. She briefly hesitated, considering that maybe he wanted to be alone and she should leave him there, but she needed to check on him, needed to reassure herself that he was okay. She slowly opened the gate, trying to make as little noise as possible, though she knew that he must have heard her footsteps and already known that she was there.  
  
She walked towards him uncertainly, her breath catching in her throat as she observed his slumped shoulders and bowed head. She knew that something was seriously wrong, and when she stepped in front of him and saw the anguished expression on his face, it nearly broke her heart. She couldn't ever remember seeing him look so unhappy and the only thing that mattered to her was trying to make it better.  
  
She placed a gentle hand on his knee and dipped her head, attempting to catch his eyes with her own. "Vaughn?" she softly whispered.   
  
He was staring at his hands in his lap and looked so lost in his own world that it scared her. She began to wonder if he even realized that she was there, until he reached out and pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in the crook of her neck. Her momentary surprise soon gave way to relief that he seemed to appreciate her presence, that he seemed to want her comfort. Mostly, she was just relieved that he appeared to be physically unharmed.   
  
She wrapped one arm around his shoulders and gently stroked his hair with her free hand, wondering what was wrong, but not wanting to press him, knowing that he would eventually talk to her when he was ready. He clung to her tightly and she planted a gentle kiss on the top of his head. They stayed that way for a few minutes, holding onto each other in comfortable silence until Vaughn finally raised his head from Sydney's shoulder and looked at her as if he was seeing her for the first time.  
  
"Sydney," he choked out.  
  
"I'm here," she gently smiled as she stroked his face. "Baby, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing. You're here now," he said, shaking his head and replacing his grief-stricken expression with the one he usually wore when he was trying to reassure her and convince her that something awful really wasn't a big deal. She knew him too well to be fooled by his act, however.  
  
"You're obviously upset about something. Do you want to talk about it? You know that you can tell me anything, Vaughn."  
  
"I know, I just -- " his voice trailed off and he looked away from her to an indeterminate spot in the room.  
  
"Vaughn," she gently coaxed, "whatever it is, you need to tell me. I hate seeing you unhappy. I just want to make it better."  
  
"I know you do, Syd," he sighed, turning his attention back to her. "But this . . . I don't think that you *can* make it better, and I don't want to -- "  
  
"You don't want to what?" she asked when he stopped talking  
  
"I don't want to dump this on you. I don't want you to feel like," he paused, "like this is your fault."  
  
"*My* fault? What's my fault?"  
  
"Nothing," he said emphatically. "None of this is your fault. Listen, if I'm going to tell you what's wrong, you have to promise me -- *promise me* -- that you're not going to let yourself feel guilty about this."  
  
"Feel guilty about what?" she asked, beginning to panic slightly.  
  
Vaughn took a deep breath and gently squeezed her hand. "I talked to your mother this morning."  
  
"You talked to my mother?" she repeated. "God, what is it with my parents wanting to talk to you all of a sudden?" she asked in exasperation.  
  
He shook his head. "She didn't ask to talk to me. I went to her."  
  
Sydney was surprised, knowing that Vaughn only interacted with Irina when he absolutely had to. "You did? Why?"  
  
"Because I needed some answers from her."  
  
Sydney's eyes widened and she swallowed hard, casting her eyes downward to prevent Vaughn from seeing the fear that had taken hold in them. Her heart began to pound and an eternity seemed to pass until she gathered the courage to speak again.  
  
"Answers about what?"  
  
"About my father, about his death. I needed to know why she killed him."  
  
Sydney closed her eyes and shook her head, finally understanding why Vaughn had been so distraught when she arrived. She didn't know if her mother had given him the answers that he sought, or whether she'd told him the truth, but she suddenly wished that she herself had told him months ago. She cursed herself silently, knowing that he should have heard it from her instead of her mother.  
  
"What did she tell you?" she shakily asked, afraid to look him in the eye.  
  
"Syd," he said apologetically, "we don't have to discuss this. Honestly, I'm fine, and -- "  
  
"Vaughn," she sharply cut him off, finally raising her head to look at him. "Whatever it is that you think you're protecting me from, you're not," she shook her head. "Just tell me. What did she say?"  
  
He sighed, knowing by the resolute look on Sydney's face that she wasn't going to let him blow this off. He squeezed her hand again and gave her a nervous half-smile. "Okay, first of all, I love you. You know that, right?"  
  
"Of course, I know that."  
  
"And you know that nothing your mother could ever say or do could change that, right?"  
  
She bit her lip to prevent the tears in her eyes from falling. He was being so sweet to her, not knowing that she had been keeping this horrible secret from him for months. "I want to believe that," she murmured.  
  
"Believe it," he said firmly, raising her chin until she was looking at him again. "Sydney, seriously, I'm not just saying that."  
  
"I believe you," she nodded.  
  
"Good. When I had dinner with your father, he said some things that made me realize that I needed to have a conversation with your mother, a conversation that I had been putting off for a really long time."  
  
"You and my dad talked about my mom?" Sydney asked with surprise.  
  
"Yeah, we did -- a little bit, anyway."  
  
"Vaughn, my dad barely talks to *me* about my mother. I can't believe that he would feel comfortable talking to you about her."  
  
"Well, it's not like he was telling me all about their relationship or anything. He just has some -- " he paused, choosing his words carefully, "*concerns* about her, concerns that he thought I might share."  
  
"Concerns as they relate to me," she clarified.  
  
"Yes," he admitted.   
  
"So do you?" she asked softly. "Share those concerns, I mean."  
  
Vaughn looked away for a moment, contemplating her question. "I don't think that your father and I necessarily have the *same* concerns -- or maybe we do and we just choose to deal with them differently. But he made me realize that I've been trying to deal with my concerns through avoidance, which, of course, is no way to deal with them at all."  
  
"Vaughn," she said carefully, "I hope you're not letting my father bully you into feeling one way or another about my mother. I mean, however you feel about her or how you choose to deal with those feelings is something that only you can decide. You don't have to change that for him or even for me. You know that, don't you?"  
  
"Yeah, I do. But your dad didn't tell me to go talk to her; I did that on my own, because it was time. It was past time, actually, and I needed answers from her. Not for him or for you, but for myself."  
  
She nodded understandingly, but underneath her calm exterior, she was already dreading the answer to her next question, although she knew that she couldn't avoid it.  
  
"Did my mother give you the answers that you were looking for?" She slipped her hand from his and wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing her upper arms to counteract the chill that was already working its way through her body.   
  
Vaughn briefly mourned the loss of contact with her, but ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath, looking down at the ground as he tried to prevent himself from getting emotional remembering his conversation with Irina.   
  
"Yeah, I guess. I don't -- I never told you this, but when she first turned herself into the CIA, when I went to see her so Kendall would lay off of you, it was hard for me to look at her, to look into the face and the eyes of the woman who killed my father. All I could think about was the fact that her face and her eyes were probably the last images my father ever saw."   
  
He took a shuddering breath before he continued, remembering his first encounter with her as vividly as the one that he'd had just a couple of hours earlier.   
  
"Just as I was leaving the holding cell, she told me . . . she said 'you look just like him.'"  
  
Sydney could feel all the blood drain from her face and she looked at him in horrified disbelief. "She said that to you?" she asked in a voice barely above a whisper. "How come you never told me?"  
  
"Because -- I don't know. I think part of me wanted to forget it and pretend that it never happened, and the other part of me wanted to spare you the pain of finding out, because even though we weren't together back then, I knew that if I told you what she said, you would be furious."  
  
"Yeah, I would have been," she agreed, her voice tight as she tried to control the anger bubbling inside her.  
  
"And that's why I didn't tell you, because you would have been pissed, and you never would have agreed to have anything to do with her, and you needed to work with her, to pump her for every bit of information that would help in destroying the Alliance. I didn't want you to refuse to do that just because of the things that she said to me."  
  
"The things that she said to you?" she blinked. "Things, as in *plural*?"  
  
"Yes," Vaughn reluctantly admitted, "but that's not important right now -- "  
  
"What did she say?" Sydney asked, her jaw clenched, barely disguising her anger and disgust. Vaughn saw the hard, cold look in her eyes and wished that he had never mentioned any of this.  
  
"Sydney -- " he began.  
  
"What did she say?" Sydney repeated, quietly emphasizing each word. Vaughn pleaded with his eyes for her to drop it, but she looked back at him expectantly, silently telling him that she intended to do no such thing.  
  
"Remember when you were trapped in the FAPSI building in Moscow?"   
  
She nodded.  
  
"You needed a way out, and I knew that she was the only person who could give me one, so I went to her for help. Once you were out safely and I hung up the phone, she asked me how I could say thank you to the woman who killed my father."  
  
Sydney closed her eyes and covered her mouth with her hand. She couldn't believe that her mother had been so cruel to Vaughn and that he hadn't told her about it. Even though he claimed that he hadn't told her because he didn't want her to stop working with Irina, she knew that he had also done it to protect her feelings, to keep her from being further exposed to her mother's dark side. She couldn't believe that Vaughn had let himself be emotionally wounded that way for her benefit, months before she even told him how she felt about him. Even though she knew that she shouldn't be anymore, she was awed by the depth of his love for her, the lengths to which he would go to protect her from the things that would hurt her or make her unhappy. She reached out to caress his face, tilting his head up to look at her.  
  
"I can't believe that she said those things to you. I'm so sorry, Vaughn."  
  
"Don't apologize, it's not your fault."  
  
"Yeah, but you suffered through it alone, without having anyone to talk to. I can't imagine how that must have felt." She looked him dead in the eye, daring him to be honest with her. "Don't tell me that you weren't hurt by that."  
  
"Yeah, it hurt," he admitted. "It was like having a knife stuck into my chest the first time. The second time, I was at least a little bit more prepared. It didn't affect me as much then, or so I thought. But after my conversation with your dad, I began to remember the way -- it was almost like she was taunting me about my father's death, and once I remembered that, I needed to know why."  
  
Sydney nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, but immediately untucked it and drew her hand back down when she realized what she had done. She tightly crossed her arms over her chest to prevent herself from doing it again.   
  
"So what did she tell you?"  
  
"She said that she was testing me, trying to find out how much crap I'd endure for you. She said that she needed to know the extent of my willingness to protect you."  
  
Sydney suddenly felt sick inside, realizing that once again, her mother had put Vaughn through hell because of her. She simply couldn't believe that Irina had subjected him to that.  
  
"Did you believe her?"  
  
"No," he flatly stated. "Not at first. I found it hard to believe that she said those things to me in an effort to protect you, but -- " his voice broke off as he looked back down at his lap. "I believe her now. Now that I know the kinds of things that she's done before to protect you, I believe her."  
  
The grief that flashed across his face cut straight to Sydney's heart and her throat grew tight around the lump that had formed there. She could almost feel Vaughn's pain and although she only wanted to take it away, she knew that she was probably about to add to it. She stepped closer to him and lightly placed her hands on his thighs as he looked up at her attentively.  
  
"Vaughn," she softly said, "I know why she killed him. She told me." Vaughn looked at her questioningly and she continued. "When I came back from Virginia, all I could think about was you and your mom, the way that she accepted me and the way that you opened yourself up to me when you took me to you father's grave. So when I saw my mother again, I wanted to know why she killed him, I needed to understand, and she told me that she did it to keep her superiors from killing me."  
  
"You knew?" he asked in a low, disbelieving voice. "Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"Because it wasn't the kind of thing that I could tell you over the phone," she explained. "At first, I wanted to tell you face to face so you wouldn't be alone when you fount out. I wanted to be there to -- I don't know -- comfort you, if that would have even been possible, if you would have even wanted my comfort."  
  
"I would have," he said, placing his hand over one of hers. It was smooth and warm and the simple gesture filled her with hope that he wasn't angry with her.  
  
"I'd hoped so. Remember the day that you called and I had just come back from that really long run and you commented that I only run that much when I'm upset about something?"  
  
"Yeah," he remembered as he was struck by a realization. "That was the day that you found out, wasn't it?"  
  
"Yes, and I felt awful about it. After spending the week before with you, I was finally starting to let go of all the guilt that I was carrying around, but when my mother told me the truth, it brought all of the guilt back, even worse than before, because I realized that your dad's life was sacrificed for mine. You and your mom lost him because of me," she said tearfully.  
  
"Syd -- "  
  
"No," she shook her head, "I need to finish. I was feeling really guilty, and Eric talked to me and told me that I shouldn't, that you wouldn't want me to. I so desperately wanted to believe him, and over time, I guess I began to. I started to think that maybe the truth wouldn't affect our relationship, and that perhaps it would be better not to tell you about it, better to spare you the pain of hearing it. But I know now that I had no right to make that decision for you, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for not telling you the truth, and even sorrier for being the reason that he -- "  
  
"Don't," Vaughn warned. "Don't you dare say that. Don't even think it." When she brushed the tears from her eyes and looked down, he tilted her face back up to his and kissed her softly. "Sydney, I really don't know yet how to feel about what your mother told me. It's going to take me a while to process it and deal with it, but it's not going to change how I feel about you. It could never do that, and I thought we agreed that we weren't going to let our parents affect us anymore."  
  
"We did, but come on, Vaughn, that's a fantasy. Of course they're going to affect us. There's no way to get around that, and it's going to be even more true if we get married."  
  
"If?" Vaughn raised his eyebrow.  
  
"When," she said, with a small smile. "*When* we get married. Vaughn," she sighed as he laced his fingers through hers. "Have you even thought about how we're going to explain this to our children? Because we can't *not* tell them. You know that."  
  
"I know," he solemnly nodded.  
  
She sighed again. "Sometimes I feel like we're never going to be able to move past my mother. No matter how we feel about each other, or how much we swear not to let her affect our relationship, she's always going to be there, lurking in the background -- not even lurking, really. Maybe we just need to accept the fact that she's always going to be an issue instead of pretending that she's not."  
  
"I can do that, as long as we both understand that where my feelings for you are concerned, she's not an issue. As far as my feelings about her are concerned, obviously, she's going to be an issue for me, and I hope that you can understand that. Even if you reach a point where you can begin to forgive her for everything that she's done, I hope you'll understand if I can't, because I'm not sure that I ever can, Syd," he quietly acknowledged.   
  
"Even though I know why she killed my father, even though I know that she did it to protect you, I don't know if I'll ever get over the *way* that she did it. She caused my family so much pain, and I'm just not ready to let go of that yet. I won't ever begrudge you the right to have a relationship with her, but I can't be a part of that right now, and I need you to understand that I may never be able to be a part of that."  
  
"Vaughn, of course I understand. Believe me, my own desire to have a relationship with her is very much in doubt right now," she said with a wry smile. "I don't ever expect you to accept her just because you love me. Honestly, it's enough for me that you can even look at me without holding everything that she's done against me. I would never ask you for more than that, but there is one thing that I do have to ask you for -- I'm going to need you to be completely honest with me in the future about how you feel about her. Seriously, I don't want you to try and protect my feelings or decide not to tell me things that you think I might not want to hear. When you asked me to marry you, I made a conscious choice to put you above everyone else in my life, and the only way that can work is if we're honest with each other, no matter how much it hurts."  
  
"Syd," he smiled, "you say that now, but -- " She silenced him with a soft kiss.  
  
"I mean it now," she promised. "I'll mean it later, too."  
  
TBC . . . 


	31. Twelve Rounds

Hey everyone! I just wanted to warn you guys that there are a few naughty words in this chapter. Hope you enjoy it.  
  
Chapter 31: "Twelve Rounds"  
  
Sydney peeked through the small window in the door of the briefing room and smiled as she opened the door and walked inside. Vaughn was bent over a laptop with his back to her and she stealthily snuck up behind him, catching him off guard as she wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her lips next to his ear.   
  
"Don't move, or I'll shoot," she murmured.  
  
He laughed and placed his hands over hers. "I think you're bluffing."   
  
"Yeah, you're right. I could never bring myself to shoot anyone who looked like you."  
  
He broke free of her grasp and turned around to face her, smiling as soon as he looked at her. "Why are you here so early? The briefing's not for another 15 minutes."  
  
"I know, but Weiss told me that you were in here setting up, so I thought I'd come and hang out with you for a while -- unless you and your power point presentation were having a private moment and would rather be alone," she teased.  
  
"Hmm. Jealous?" he asked as he turned back to type something into the laptop.  
  
"Actually, I am. I wish your hands were on me right now instead of your laptop."  
  
"So, making love on my desk a couple of weeks ago wasn't enough for you?" he grinned. "You want to do it here, too?"  
  
"Like you don't?" she laughed. She sat down on the table next to his computer and faced him. "Vaughn, haven't you ever fantasized about making love right in the middle of a briefing?"  
  
"Seriously?" his eyes widened. "In the middle of a briefing, with everyone -- including your dad -- watching us?"  
  
Sydney looked off into space and smiled innocently, earning a laugh from Vaughn. "You never cease to amaze me, Syd, but I never knew about your exhibitionist streak."  
  
"I'm not an exhibitionist," she lightly protested. "It's just that in my fantasy, we can't control ourselves and it doesn't matter who else is in the room."  
  
"And does that fantasy end with your dad shooting me? 'Cause I'm pretty sure that's how it would end in real life."  
  
"Oh, he wouldn't shoot you now that you guys are buddies . . . pals . . . confidants," she teased.  
  
"Right. We're such great buddies that we're going out for beers tomorrow night," he joked. "Don't be fooled, Sydney. Your dad merely went from disliking me to tolerating me. I doubt that we'll be hanging out any time soon."  
  
"Oh, come on, he likes you," she argued. "I mean, he's never going to come straight out and tell you that, but he does. I can tell."  
  
"I guess I'll have to take your word for it," he smiled. He leaned over to give her a quick peck on the lips and she pulled him back to her as he started to move away.  
  
"Now, is that any kind of way to greet your fiance?" she chided as she drew him into a slow, sensual kiss. He placed his palms flat on the table on either side of her body, trapping her beneath him as he deepened the kiss. She hooked her right leg around the backs of his calves, pulling him closer to her, as they lost themselves in the passion of the kiss until an amused voice interrupted them.  
  
"Geez, you two. Get a room," Weiss muttered.  
  
Vaughn instantly jumped away from Sydney, and Weiss laughed at his less-than-smooth attempt to disengage himself from her.  
  
"You have really bad timing, Weiss," Sydney lightly scowled.  
  
"Are you kidding me? I have great timing. If I was two minutes later, Vaughn would have been giving an entirely different kind of presentation in here."  
  
Vaughn tried to hide his smile, but Sydney made no effort to hide hers.   
  
"I know," she laughed. "He's such an exhibitionist. I keep telling him that we can't have sex in public places, but he insists on pushing the envelope anyway."  
  
"Me?! You're the one who -- never mind," he muttered when he saw Weiss grinning at him. He shook his head and gave Sydney a pointed look. "You're gonna pay for that later," he said in a low voice that only she could hear.  
  
"I certainly hope so," she whispered in his ear. She stood up from the table and dragged her fingers across his stomach, making his breath hitch in response as she left to take a seat next to Weiss on the opposite side of the room. Vaughn looked down at his laptop and smiled, already dreaming up ways to make her pay for embarrassing him in front of his best friend.  
  
As Sydney sat down next to him, Weiss swiveled his chair in her direction and gave her a knowing smile.  
  
"What?" she rolled her eyes.  
  
"I didn't say anything," he innocently shrugged.  
  
"But you obviously want to."  
  
He smiled slyly. "I'm just glad that you're taking care of my boy, that's all. He used to always be so uptight, but ever since he came back from Virginia, he's been like a new man. I think I finally know why."  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about," she sniffed, feigning ignorance as she slid the cap off of her pen.  
  
"You must know a lot of helpful stress relief techniques." He raised his eyebrow and she couldn't help but laugh.  
  
"What are the two of you laughing about?" Vaughn called over his shoulder.  
  
"Nothing," Eric piped up. "I was just telling Sydney that she should think about going into the relaxation therapy business once SD-6 is gone." She sharply elbowed him in the side before they both dissolved into laughter, and Vaughn turned to look at them.  
  
"I'm obviously going to have to limit the amount of time that you two spend together. I swear, you guys are like Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum."  
  
"Yeah, and we don't have to guess who's who, do we?" Sydney giggled and Weiss shot her a wounded look before turning his attention back to Vaughn.  
  
"Your girlfriend hits below the belt, man," he complained.  
  
"My fian -- " Vaughn began to correct Weiss before he caught himself. "Um, yeah, she does." He sheepishly turned to see if Sydney had noticed his slip, and she grinned back at him. "She goes like that for all twelve rounds, too. That's why I don't mess with her."  
  
"He doesn't mess with me because he's a really smart guy," Sydney corrected.  
  
"Either that, or he's just totally whipped," Weiss countered, making both Vaughn and Sydney laugh in response.  
  
All of their laughter died down as other agents began to file into the room. The afternoon's meeting was expected to be larger than usual, because it was the first briefing for the team that Kendall had assembled for the raid on SD-6.   
  
Just before the meeting was scheduled to begin, Kendall entered the room with Jack. Even though there were plenty of empty seats in the room, including one next to her, Jack made a beeline for the seat next to Vaughn, an action that Sydney found both surprising and amusing. She shot Vaughn a "told you so" look across the room and he simply shook his head and smiled in response before Jack leaned over to whisper something to him.  
  
"Look at that," Sydney nudged Weiss as she gestured to her father and fiance. "My dad has a new best friend."  
  
"I never realized that he had an *old* best friend. He doesn't strike me as the best friend type," Weiss cracked, making Sydney snort as she tried not to laugh out loud. Kendall glared at both of them and she scooted her chair away from Weiss to prevent them from getting into any more trouble as Kendall turned his attention back to the rest of the room.   
  
"As all of you are aware by now, you're here today for an introductory briefing about the imminent raid on SD-6's Los Angeles headquarters, which is scheduled for exactly 17 days from today. I'll be speaking with you, as will CIA Agents Jack Bristow and Michael Vaughn and FBI Agent Brandon Lewis. We don't have a lot of time to waste, so let's get started, shall we?  
  
*****  
  
A half hour later, Jack was wrapping up his presentation, which was meant to familiarize the agents with the inner workings of SD-6. Most of the agents around her were taking copious notes, but since Sydney already knew everything that Jack was explaining, she had spent most of the time during his presentation passing looks across the room with Vaughn, who also hadn't felt compelled to take notes.  
  
Although she couldn't imagine a better way to have spent the past half hour, she almost wished that she hadn't instigated their little game, because she could barely sit still in her seat anymore. Vaughn was looking at her with the same intense expression he wore every time he made love to her, and she felt as if she was melting from the inside out. Any other time, she would have loved that feeling, but not now when she knew that the briefing would probably drag on for at least another hour and a half.   
  
At the moment, she was torturing herself by noticing the outline of Vaughn's shoulder holster underneath his jacket and imagining how much she'd love to hook her fingers through it and . . .  
  
"Thank you, Jack," Kendall loudly interrupted her thoughts, making her even more annoyed with him than usual. "Agent Vaughn," he turned and nodded.  
  
Vaughn stood and gathered a stack of spiral bound reports, then moved through the room to distribute them. When he got to Sydney's table he handed her the last remaining report and gave her a secretive smile as his hand brushed against hers, lingering for a moment longer than necessary.  
  
She hid her face behind her copy of the report as she blushed, and noticed a small piece of paper slip from between the pages. She discretely glanced around the room before opening it, and instantly broke into a grin as she read it: "Try not to jump me during my presentation, okay?"  
  
When she looked up to see Vaughn looking back at her with a cocky smirk on his face, she wanted to jump him right then and there, but she simply smiled and nodded instead.   
  
"I'll try," she mouthed.  
  
He silently laughed and cleared his throat before he spoke. He began by briefly explaining the project that he had worked on at Langley and the resulting plan for a coordinated attack on all Alliance facilities, before moving on to the specifics of the raid on SD-6. As Sydney watched him, it struck her that she was used to dealing with him on a one on one basis when he was her handler, and she had never had the opportunity to watch him in his full capacity as a senior officer. She was impressed by both the smooth way that he delivered his presentation and the way that he had the rapt attention of all the agents in the room.   
  
As she and everyone else followed along with him presentation, she was amazed by how thorough and detailed his report was. He had obviously expended a great deal of time and effort on it, and she suddenly understood why his superiors at Langley had been impressed enough to raise the possibility of a promotion. She wasn't surprised, but it was nice to know that he was as smart and detailed as he was gorgeous. He caught her staring at him and shot her a quick smile, which gave her goose bumps as she realized that he was going to be her husband in the not too distant future.  
  
She was still wrapped up in that thought a short while later, as Vaughn moved on to the practical aspects of the raid, and she along with everyone else, turned to the next page in his report. She read over it briefly, then again, paying more attention as she was sure that she must have missed something in her first cursory glance at it. She quickly flipped around through the next few pages and frowned, ignoring the questioning glances of the agents sitting near her as the pages rustled against each other. After a couple of minutes of fruitless searching, she dropped her pen on top of the thick report, creating a light thump, which could easily be heard throughout the quiet room.  
  
Vaughn looked up from his power point presentation and Kendall once again glared at her for disrupting the briefing.   
  
"Question, Agent Bristow?" he sarcastically asked.  
  
"Actually, yes," she leaned forward in her chair. "I was looking at the attack plan and I noticed that my name wasn't listed with the team going in. Am I to assume then that I'll be working from the inside?"  
  
Kendall turned to Vaughn with a questioning look, and he in turn looked back at Sydney. "Actually, no, you won't be inside."  
  
"Then where will I be?" she asked in confusion.  
  
"We haven't determined that yet, but most likely, you'll be at a safehouse as far away from the Credit Dauphine building as possible."  
  
"Excuse me?" she blinked. "Why won't I be at SD-6 while the raid is taking place?"  
  
"Because it's possible that you could be compromised either immediately before or during the raid, and the CIA obviously would prefer for that not to happen."  
  
"And the only way to keep me from being compromised is to lock me in a safehouse?" she dubiously asked. "That doesn't make a whole lot of sense. By the time Sloane realizes that something's going on, it'll be too late for him to do anything about it."  
  
"There's no way to be sure of that," Vaughn shook his head. He glanced around the room and noticed the other agents watching his and Sydney's exchange with interest, and he mentally urged her to drop it. She knew as well as he did that their rumored relationship had been a favorite topic of water cooler conversation for the past year, and the last thing they needed was for the rumor mill to spin the story that they'd had a lovers' spat in the middle of a briefing. All it took, however, was one look at the increasingly stormy expression on Sydney's face to know that she wasn't about to just let this go.  
  
She stared back at him with eyes so penetrating that he could almost feel her boring holes in his skull. "You need to go back to the drawing board and reconsider this plan," she haughtily suggested, ignoring the flash of indignation in Vaughn's eyes. "I can play an important role in this operation -- I *should* play an important role this operation considering my familiarity with SD-6 *and* the layout of the Credit Dauphine building."  
  
"No one here questions your knowledge of the inner workings SD-6," Vaughn said tightly, trying but failing to keep the edge out of his voice, "but considering your value to the CIA and to the Justice Department in the prosecution of Arvin Sloane and the other Alliance principals, we have an obligation not to take unnecessary risks with your safety."  
  
"Unnecessary risks?" she incredulously repeated. She briefly glanced over at her father, expecting him to back her up, but was surprised to see the impassive look on his face before she turned back to Vaughn. "So am I to assume that *all* of the agency's assets inside SD-6 are being kept from participating in this op?"  
  
Vaughn gave her an irritated look, knowing as well as she did that she and Jack were the agency's *only* assets inside SD-6.  
  
"As a matter of fact, no. Jack Bristow will be with Sloane when we apprehend him."  
  
As Vaughn's words sank in, Sydney sat back in her chair, speechless as she realized that Vaughn's explanation for her non-participation in the raid was nothing more than pretext. She curled her hands into fists and dug her fingernails into her palms to prevent herself from exploding in anger. "So does that mean that he *is* expendable to the CIA and the Justice Department?" she sarcastically asked.  
  
"I think we all know that Jack Bristow is not expendable, so we should end this discussion right now," Kendall barked as he finally entered the fray.  
  
"If you have concerns that don't pertain to the team as a whole, Agent Bristow, we can discuss them later, in a more appropriate setting." Vaughn's tone was cold, but there was no mistaking the flash of anger in his eyes as he addressed her. "For the time being, however, I think we should all concentrate on the logistics of the operation."  
  
"I agree," Kendall nodded as he frowned at Sydney one last time for good measure. "Please continue, Agent Vaughn."  
  
Sydney sat back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest to prevent herself from shaking with anger. She was used to Kendall's sneering condescension, and she couldn't even say that she was surprised by her father's failure to speak up, because Jack Bristow didn't believe in making a scene or calling attention to himself. But she could hardly believe the way that Vaughn had so dismissively brushed aside her concerns about the raid. It was the first time she could ever recall him doing anything like that and it both infuriated and hurt her. She silently seethed for the remainder of the meeting, tuning out everything that was said following her blow up with Vaughn. When Kendall finally ended the briefing, she hastily scribbled a note on the back of Vaughn's note, and shoved it into Weiss's palm.  
  
"Give that to Vaughn," she tersely instructed. Before an uncomfortable Weiss could say a word, she brushed past him and stalked out of the briefing room.  
  
Weiss gathered up his notes and walked over to Vaughn, who was disconnecting his laptop. "Nice," he said with a low whistle.  
  
"Yeah, no kidding. What in the hell was that?" Vaughn asked in bewilderment.  
  
"I don't know man, but you've got a very pissed off girlfriend to deal with, and you don't look too happy yourself right now. This, my friend, is why business and pleasure do not mix."  
  
"Now you tell me," Vaughn rolled his eyes. "I swear, sometimes, she's impossible."  
  
"Yeah, but that's why you love her, and you know it," Weiss laughed. "You love her fire. Hey, by the way, she asked me to give you this."  
  
Vaughn took the note from Weiss and quickly read it before shoving it in his pocket.   
  
"Well, this should be fun," he muttered under his breath. "Listen, if I don't make it back alive in an hour, tell my mom that I love her. And if *Sydney* doesn't make it back alive, tell Jack he can thank me later."  
  
"You got it," Weiss laughed. "Good luck, man."  
  
"Thanks, I'm gonna need it."  
  
*****  
  
Vaughn opened the gate to the storage facility and found Sydney standing in the middle of the room, her arms crossed in front of her, and her body language undeniably hostile. He moved until he stood directly in front of her and they simply stared at each other for several long, tension-filled moments.  
  
"So, are you going to explain yourself or what?" Sydney finally asked.  
  
"Excuse me? You were the one who asked -- no, I'm sorry, ordered -- *me* here. If anyone needs to do some explaining, it's you."  
  
"Me?" she incredulously asked.  
  
"Yes, you," he shot back. "What was with that scene during the briefing, Sydney?"  
  
"What scene?" she asked, feigning ignorance. "I didn't cause a scene, Vaughn. I was simply trying to get you to give me some answers from you about why I have no role in the raid. Actually, I'm still looking for those answers, because everything that you said in the briefing was bullshit, and you know it."  
  
"Sydney, everything that I said in the briefing was the absolute truth," he countered. "There are at least a hundred reasons why you should be as far away from Credit Dauphine as possible on the day of the raid. Hell, if it were up to me, you would never set foot in that building again starting today."  
  
Sydney stared at him, trying to figure out exactly what was going on in his head. "What is this about, Vaughn? Why don't you want me around when SD-6 finally goes down?"  
  
"Because I'm trying to protect you," he sighed. "Syd, when I was at Langley, I spent almost every minute of every day working with the other agents, trying to formulate a plan. We tried to account for every second of the raid, because the timing is critical. All of our planning is all well and good, but do you know how often these types of operations actually go according to plan? Not very often, and this one, in particular, is going to be incredibly dangerous and I simply don't want you to get caught in the crossfire."  
  
"Well, of course, it's dangerous, Vaughn. But you say that as if the past two years of my life haven't been dangerous."  
  
"I know they have, and that's all the more reason not to take any chances, now that they're finally coming to an end."  
  
"So, what am I supposed to do, Vaughn? Am I supposed to sit around at home fucking baking cookies while all the big, strong men take care of Sloane?"  
  
"Syd, there are women on the team," he gently reminded her.  
  
"Oh yes how could I forget?" she sarcastically asked. "But apparently, the only women that are allowed on the team are the ones that you're not sleeping with."  
  
"No, I've actually made a few exceptions to that rule," he deadpanned.  
  
Sydney stared at him in stunned silence until she noticed the twinkle in his eyes and realized that he was joking. Any other time, she would have laughed with him, but not now.   
  
"You know what, Vaughn? Save the jokes for another time when I'm *not* mad enough to hit you."  
  
"And when do you suppose that might be?" he asked as he shoved his hands into his pockets to avoid touching her. Even when she was furious with him -- especially when she was furious at him -- she was achingly beautiful and sexy and he wanted to shut her up and relieve the tension between them by pressing her against the fence and ravishing her until she couldn't remember why she was ever angry at him in the first place. He knew, of course, that he couldn't and shouldn't use sex to avoid their argument, but damn if he didn't want to.  
  
"Maybe I'll stop being mad and think you're funny again when you back down and put me on the team," she offered.  
  
"Then I guess you're going to stay mad at me for a while longer, because I'm not doing that," he firmly clipped. "Syd, I'm not going to apologize for the fact that I want to keep you safe, and your father and I agreed that the best way to do that is to keep you away from the raid."  
  
"You and my father *agreed*?" she repeated. "When?"  
  
"The night that we had dinner together."  
  
"So that's when the two of you hatched this ridiculous idea? Since when do you and my father decide what's best for me?" she derisively asked. "I don't need the two of you conspiring with each other and acting like macho men protecting the little lady from danger. News flash, Vaughn -- I'm not good at playing the role of damsel in distress."  
  
"No shit, Sydney," he shot back. "You know what? Don't play that card, because you know that I have never once treated you like you were any less capable because you're a woman. In fact, I don't ever remember being anything other than amazed and proud that you're so amazing in the field."  
  
"If I'm so amazing, then why are you asking me to sit on the sidelines, Vaughn? I can be an asset to the team, and you're acting as if I'd only get in the way."  
  
"This isn't about you getting in the way, Sydney. This is about keeping you safe, and that's completely different. What about that are you not comprehending?"  
  
"All of it!" she yelled. "Why do you think it falls upon *you* to keep me safe?"  
  
"Do you really have to ask me that?" he asked as he grabbed her forearm and forced her to look at him. "It falls upon me to keep you safe because I love you, Sydney, or have you forgotten that I asked you to marry me? I was kind of hoping that you might live long enough to actually make it to the altar one day."  
  
Sydney looked at the earnest expression on his face and couldn't help but smile.  
  
"I walked right into that one, didn't I?" she wryly asked. He smiled back at her, and she had to consciously resist the urge to melt, reminding herself that she was still pissed at him and vowing not to let him off the hook so easily no matter how sweet his words were.  
  
"Vaughn," she sighed as she gently pried his fingers from her arm, "I know that you think you're keeping me safe by keeping me away from the raid, but that's not what you're actually doing. Instead, you're keeping me from finishing something that I've spent the last two years working for. It's like you're tripping me at the finish line."  
  
"Syd, that's not what I'm trying to do," he argued.  
  
"I know, but You are. Vaughn, you know better than anyone how much I want to see SD-6 go down, but not even you could fully understand how important it is to me to physically be there when it happens, to actually see it happen. I've spent everyday since my father first told me the truth about SD-6 waiting for the day when it would finally fall and I can't watch that happen from a distance. I'll never have closure that way. I'll never be able to truly put the last eight years behind me if I can't satisfy myself that I did everything possible to destroy it. I need that closure, Vaughn," she pleaded.  
  
He ran his fingers through his hair, realizing that they were dancing in circles with each other.  
  
"I just don't understand why you have to be there to have closure," he quietly stated.  
  
"But I'm not asking you to understand it. I'm just asking you to accept it." She looked into his green eyes, seeing the same fear, frustration, and love that she knew were mirrored in her own eyes, and prayed that he would see how important this was to her even if she couldn't explain to him the reasons why.  
  
"Syd, I *can't* accept it. It kills me every time you walk into that building on a *normal* day, and now you're asking me to let you walk in there on a day when all hell is going to break loose. We both know that in all likelihood, there are agents who are going to go into that building and not come back out, and the thought of you being one of them makes me physically ill."  
  
"Vaughn, I understand that. I do, but it's not something that either of us can control. Whatever's going to happen is going to happen."  
  
"Great. It's nice knowing that you're so nonchalant about this, Sydney. It's like you don't care one way or another what happens to you, just as long as you get to be the one to slap the handcuffs on Sloane," he accused. Do you know how that makes me feel, knowing that after everything we've been through, after we've waited so long to finally be together, you could care less whether you walk out of that building and come back to me?"  
  
"What? Vaughn, I never said that." She looked at him in confusion, wondering where all of this was coming from. "I never said anything like that, and I can't believe that you would even think it. Do you really have so little faith in my feelings that you think that getting revenge on Sloane is more important to me than you are?"  
  
"What am I supposed to think right now, Sydney? I'm practically begging you not to put yourself at risk, and you're telling me that you have to because you need *closure,*" he said, spitting out the word as if it physically pained him to say it. "Why shouldn't I think that you care more about revenge?"  
  
"Because if that's what you think, Vaughn, you obviously don't know me as well as I thought you did and we really shouldn't be getting married at all. You know that there's nothing in this world that I care about more than you, but if you can't understand why participating in the raid is so important to me -- " her voice cracked with tears and even in the middle of their heated argument, it practically tore Vaughn's heart out.  
  
"Syd, what is it?" he softly asked.  
  
"Nothing, forget it," she mumbled, brushing the tears from her eyes with a frustrated swipe of her hand. There were reasons why it was important to her, reasons that Vaughn couldn't possibly have thought of, but as much as she knew she should share them with him, she simply wasn't ready to do that yet.  
  
"Tell me what's wrong," he gently coaxed.  
  
"I can't, Vaughn, not right now," she said, looking away from him. "I just . . . I can't do this now. I need to be alone for a while."  
  
"Syd, I don't think that's a good idea. I know you're upset, but we need to resolve this. Please stay and talk to me," he begged.  
  
"Vaughn, I -- I can't," she sighed. "I need to go. Please just -- we'll talk later, okay?" She looked at him imploringly, silently begging him to let her go, and against his better judgment, he nodded, silently acquiescing to her demand.  
  
"Thank you," she whispered before she turned and quickly exited the warehouse.   
  
He stood rooted in place as he listened to the sound of her footsteps grow quieter with each passing second. When he could no longer hear anything but the deafening roar of the silence around him, he turned and walked out of the warehouse himself, praying that he could fix whatever was suddenly broken between him and Sydney.  
  
TBC . . . 


	32. Making Up

Chapter 32: "Making Up"  
  
A half hour after leaving the warehouse, Vaughn entered the busy rotunda of the joint task force center in a daze, barely noticing as other agents and analysts whizzed past him. Despite the flurry of activity surrounded him, he felt as if his world had been moving in slow motion ever since Sydney left the warehouse in tears, and he couldn't figure out what he hated more -- knowing that she was upset, knowing that she didn't want to tell him why, or knowing that whatever was wrong, it was all his fault. Once he finally reached his desk, he gracelessly plopped down into his chair and covered his face with his hands, hoping that if he closed his eyes long enough then opened them, he'd discover that the last three hours of his life had merely been a bad dream.  
  
"Hey, you made it back in one piece," Weiss grinned from his desk a few feet away. "That's a good sign, right?"  
  
"Not really," Vaughn dryly replied.  
  
"Man, you look like hell. What's wrong?" Weiss asked, his voice full of concern. "Is Sydney still pissed at you?"  
  
"Honestly? I couldn't even tell you. When she left, she was -- " He shook his head, at a loss to explain how she left the warehouse. "I don't know if she's still angry or not," he sighed   
  
"Um, okay," Weiss shrugged. He was just as confused as Vaughn appeared to be, but it was clear to him that Vaughn was in no mood to discuss whatever had happened with Sydney, so he decided not to press. "If you change your mind, though, you know I'm here to talk . . . or to take you to a bar and get you hammered," he grinned.  
  
"Thanks," Vaughn laughed, returning Weiss's smile with a genuine smile of his own. Despite Weiss's playful nature and frequent jokes, Vaughn knew that he was a really good sounding board whenever he needed one. But considering that *he* still didn't know what to make of Sydney's hasty exit from the warehouse, he knew that he wasn't ready to discuss their fight with Weiss.   
  
"Hey, I need to talk to Jack. You haven't seen him around, have you?" he asked.  
  
"I last saw him about 10 minutes ago, so he might still be somewhere around here."  
  
"Okay, thanks."   
  
Vaughn got up from his desk and set out to locate Jack, finding him a few minutes later just as he was finishing up a conversation with another agent. Vaughn patiently waited until the other agent left and Jack turned around to acknowledge him.  
  
"Vaughn," he nodded as he began to stride down the hallway, "You did a good job with your presentation earlier."  
  
"Thanks, but I think Sydney disagrees," he wryly remarked as he fell into step with Jack.  
  
"Well, of course she does, but that was to be expected. You know better than anyone how stubborn she can be."  
  
"Yeah, I do, but you have to admit that she has a point when she says that she should be a part of the op. We'd still be years away from taking down the Alliance if it weren't for her, and now we're basically telling her that she can't be there to see the fruits of her labor."  
  
Jack stopped in the middle of the mostly empty hallway and sternly looked at Vaughn.  
  
"You didn't seem to have a problem with that two weeks ago when we decided that she shouldn't participate in the raid. Vaughn, I realize that you're in love with Sydney, but don't let that cloud your judgment. In a couple of days, her anger will blow over and you'll realize that we've made the right decision."  
  
"Jack, don't patronize me," Vaughn wearily sighed. "I'm not letting my feelings for Sydney cloud my judgment, but I think that I may have done exactly that when I agreed that we should keep her away from the raid. I'd be lying if I said that was a purely professional decision, and I think that you would be, too."  
  
"Don't presume to tell me the basis upon which I reached my decision, Vaughn," Jack testily replied. "Yes, obviously the fact that Sydney is my daughter makes me more concerned about her safety than I would be if we were dealing with just another agent. And yes, that strongly influences my belief that she should be as far away from the raid as possible, but what you said in the briefing was absolutely true -- there is no way to ensure Sydney's safety, especially if Sloane realizes that something is amiss. And if anything were to happen to Sydney before or during the raid, it would deal a huge blow to both the CIA and the Justice Department, not to mention you and I, personally."  
  
He placed an almost fatherly hand on Vaughn's shoulder and softened his voice. "Just because you let your personal feelings affect your professional decision this time doesn't mean that your decision was wrong. You've put the agency's concerns above Sydney's desire to participate in the raid, and that's what your job demands of you. If Sydney has a difficult time accepting that, it's not your problem, Vaughn."  
  
Vaughn sighed, knowing that Jack was right. Whatever the reasons for his decision, he knew that the safest course of action from the agency's standpoint was to keep Sydney as far from the raid as possible. As usual, though, it was impossible for him to separate his job from his relationship with her, and knowing that his decision had upset her on more than a professional level was eating away at him.  
  
"Jack, when we agreed that Sydney shouldn't participate in the op, I knew that she would be upset -- angry, even -- and I was willing to assume the risk. I figured that above all else, she's a professional and that if she considered the situation from the agency's standpoint, she would eventually realize that it was the right decision. But, after seeing her reaction once we were alone . . . Something's going on with her, and it doesn't have anything to do with her job. I don't even think it has anything to do with me, but it upset her on a personal level."  
  
"So what do you suggest, Vaughn? That we allow her to participate in the op so her feelings won't be hurt? Listen, I'm not insensitive to Sydney's feelings, but her safety and well-being are of paramount importance to me. As long as I know that she'll be safe, I'm more than willing to risk angering her. Can you say the same?" he challenged.   
  
Vaughn bent his head and pinched the bridge of his nose as he carefully chose his words. "Yes Jack, I'm willing to deal with her anger, but I'm also willing to consider the idea that maybe we're wrong. Maybe the only person who can and should decide whether Sydney participates in the raid is Sydney, and maybe it wasn't our place to take the decision out of her hands."  
  
"Wasn't our place? Vaughn, we both outrank Sydney and you have operational control over the raid. It was most *definitely* our place. Listen," Jack sighed, realizing that the decision was out of his hands, "at the end of the day, it's your call whether Sydney is in on the op or not, and I can already gather from this conversation that she won't have a particularly difficult time convincing you to let her be in on it. You make whatever decision you feel is appropriate, Vaughn, but if anything happens to her, I'm going to hold you personally responsible. Keep that in mind."  
  
With that, Jack walked away, leaving Vaughn staring after him in stunned silence. So far today, he'd collected two strikes against the Bristows, and as he considered the possibility of seeing Sydney again later, he prayed that he wouldn't pick up a third.  
  
*****  
  
A few hours later, Sydney zipped up her jacket and folded her arms across her chest as she distractedly walked along the pier back towards her car. Even though it was June, it was a relatively cool evening, and the gusts of wind from the ocean certainly weren't helping matters any. In fact, the weather appeared to be keeping people away from the pier this evening, as it was as empty and deserted as she'd ever seen it. Other than a handful of rollerbladers and couples with strollers, there weren't many other people around, and she was grateful for the solitude.   
  
After being at home earlier in the evening, she had escaped to the pier to be alone and think. Francie and Will's relentless cheerfulness had been in direct contrast to her foul mood, and she quickly realized that she didn't have the desire or the energy to fake a happy mood for their benefit. So she got into her car without a firm idea of where she was headed and eventually ended up here.   
  
As soon as she stepped onto the pier's wooden planks, her mind was flooded with memories of another night a year and a half ago when she had felt herself drawn to the pier. She couldn't help but be struck by how different her life was now compared to then, and she realized that almost all of the differences could be directly attributed to her father and Vaughn. Two years ago, her father couldn't even bring himself to have dinner with her, and now they had improved their relationship to the point where he placed her safety above all other considerations and was willing to go to any lengths to protect her.   
  
As for Vaughn, she knew that most of the changes in her life -- most of the positive ones, anyway -- were because of him, and she began to consider that maybe she'd been too hard on him earlier. As much as she resented the way that he'd made the decision about her participation in the raid without discussing it with her, she knew that he hadn't done it to patronize her or upset her. He just wanted to be sure that nothing would happen to her, and it was simply because he loved her so much. Even though she completely disagreed with his decision, it was hard to fault him for being so concerned about her. She knew that if the situation were reversed, she'd be the one begging him not to risk his life.   
  
She also knew that she hadn't been completely honest with him about why the op was so important to her and, therefore, she couldn't really blame him for assuming that she was putting her need for revenge ahead of both her safety and their relationship. That was why she needed to talk to him now, needed to explain to him exactly what was at stake and why she needed to be present when SD-6 finally met its demise.  
  
As she headed back to her car, she resolved to call him on her way home until she spotted a familiar figure standing at the railing about 20 feet ahead of her. She took in his brooding and forlorn profile and melted when she realized that he must have come here for the same reason she did.  
  
She walked the short distance over to where he stood and silently slipped her right arm through his left, leaning close to him as she softly kissed his stubbled cheek.   
  
"Hi," she whispered. He looked stunned for a minute and stared at her before glancing around to make sure that no one was watching them. "Geez, don't look so happy to see me, Vaughn," she sarcastically laughed.  
  
"Sorry," he smiled. "Of course, I'm happy to see you. I'm just surprised -- not just that you're here right now, but that you're still talking to me."  
  
"Vaughn," she gently chided. "I was *angry* at you. I didn't suddenly stop loving you."  
  
"I know," he nodded. "I just -- I thought you'd be mad for a lot longer."  
  
"Well, I didn't say that I wasn't mad anymore," she smiled. "Actually, I still think that you were a huge ass for not discussing your decision with me, but you're cute, so I think I'm gonna keep you around anyway."  
  
"My Aunt Catherine always said that I'd use my looks to hook the ladies," he grinned.  
  
"Yeah? Well, you've gotta go with what works," she laughed. She took a long look at him and realized that it was utterly impossible for her to stay mad at him for very long. She smiled, knowing that at some point during their marriage, that was going to work to her disadvantage.  
  
"Hey, Syd?" he asked as he tilted his head and rested it against hers.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I'm sorry about earlier. Not just for the fight, but for not telling you before the briefing that your dad and I didn't want you to participate in the raid. Don't get me wrong, I still stand by my belief that it's safer and smarter for you not to be there, but I should have told you how I felt and at least asked you how *you* felt."  
  
She drew her head back and looked closely at him. "Would you feel that way if I were any other agent?"  
  
"No," he admitted. "If you were anyone else, I wouldn't be feeling guilty right now for making the decision without your input."  
  
"I know," she sighed. "Vaughn, I know that you were just doing your job. It took me most of the day to realize that, but I know it now." She shook her head and smiled ruefully. "You know, sometimes I want you to treat me like I'm just any other agent, but then when you actually do treat me that way, that's when I want you to give me special consideration because of our relationship. You can't win with me, huh?"  
  
"Nope. You're impossible," he teased before he grew serious. "You know how we agreed that it was time to stop ignoring your mother's influence on our relationship and start accepting the reality of it? I think we also need to accept that as long as we both work for the CIA, it's going to be impossible to keep our personal relationship from encroaching on our professional relationship and vice versa."  
  
"So how do we make that work?" she anxiously asked.  
  
"I don't know, but I'll start by being completely honest and telling you things even when I know you won't want to hear them. Fair enough?"  
  
"Fair," she nodded. "And maybe I'll try to step back from things every now and then and realize that sometimes your job's going to require you to do things that I may not like."  
  
He gave her a skeptical look and she laughed. "Okay, I didn't say that I *would,* Vaughn, I said that I'd *try.* That being said," she took a deep breath, "I really need you to change your mind about the raid."  
  
"Then I really need you to tell me whatever it was that you couldn't tell me this afternoon. I know that you weren't upset just because I left you off of the team. There's more to this, isn't there?" he asked, leaning his hip against the railing as he turned to face her.  
  
"Yeah, there is," she admitted, "but are you sure that you want to know what it is?"  
  
"Well, as your superior officer, I'm not going to change my mind unless you give me a good reason to. And as the man who's going to marry you one day," he said, lowering his voice and taking her hands in his, "I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me whatever you're thinking, and I don't want us to have any more secrets from each other."  
  
"Okay," she nodded. "Well, first of all, what I told you before about wanting to see the culmination of everything that I've been working towards for the last two years is true. I need to be able to finish this and walk away from it once it's done, and it won't ever truly feel done if I'm not a part of the op."  
  
"But you're right, there's a more personal reason behind my need to be there, and that reason is Danny." She closely watched Vaughn's face, trying to gauge his reaction and to her great relief, he nodded encouragingly, silently telling her to go on.  
  
"I wasn't going to tell you this, but the day that you left to go back to Virginia after you surprised me for my birthday, I went to his grave. I hadn't been there in a really long time, and I felt like I needed to go and talk to him. I needed to tell him that you asked me to marry you and that I said yes. At first, I felt really guilty about the fact that I was able to move on with my life so quickly after he died. I mean, two years ago, I had just accepted his proposal, and now I'm engaged to you, and I thought that I needed to explain to him how everything could have happened so soon.  
  
"But as I was sitting there thinking about him and about you and my feelings for both of you, I realized that Danny wouldn't have wanted me to mourn him forever. I knew that he would have wanted me to be happy, so by the time I left that day, I felt like I had finally come to terms with his death and the way that it brought you into my life, and I realized that I didn't have to feel guilty for loving you and wanting to spend my life with you."  
  
"Wait a second, you're telling me that you actually passed up the opportunity to feel guilty about something? I don't believe you," Vaughn teased.  
  
"Shut up!" Sydney smiled as she playfully hit him in the chest. "*Yes,* I realized that it was stupid for me to feel guilty, because all he ever wanted was for me to be happy."  
  
"I know the feeling. He sounds like a great guy," Vaughn said seriously.  
  
"He was, and I was really lucky to know him and have him in my life for as long as I did. And that's why I feel like I owe it to him to make sure that Arvin Sloane pays for what he did. Sloane took his life for no reason at all. He was just an innocent bystander who got caught in the crossfire, and I owe it to him to make sure that neither Sloane nor the Alliance ever have the chance to do that to someone again. And I feel like Danny will never truly rest in peace until Sloane is behind bars and SD-6 is nothing more than a pile of rubble."  
  
"So isn't it enough that we're going to destroy it? I mean, do you really have to be there to see it happen? Because Syd, even if you're not there, you're going to have the chance to testify against Sloane and watch him be sentenced to life in prison. Why can't that be enough?"  
  
"Because, it's just -- it's just not. I wish I had a better explanation than that for you, but I don't. It's just that when I started this, it was all about Danny. That obviously stopped being true a long time ago, but I still feel like I owe him this. It's the last thing I'll ever really be able to do for him.   
  
"Vaughn, think about it -- what would you do if something happened to me?" she softly asked. "If Sloane found out that I was a double and had me killed, you'd want to go after him, right? And we both know that you wouldn't stop pursuing him until you either caught him or killed him. Am I right?"  
  
"Yes," he reluctantly admitted.  
  
"So think about how you'd feel if Kendall or Devlin or my dad told you that you couldn't, that they would take care of Sloane themselves and that you couldn't be involved. Could you live with that, knowing that *someone* might eventually get him, but that it wouldn't be you?"  
  
"No, I would hate that."  
  
"And it would eat away at you forever, right? So can't you must understand why I *have* to do this?" She imploringly looked into his eyes as she softly caressed his face. "I'm not choosing revenge against Sloane over you, I promise, but this is really important to me. I wouldn't ask you to change your mind if it wasn't."  
  
"I know, Syd, but what you're asking me to let you do . . . " he shook his head. "If something happens to you, I'm never going to forgive myself. Your dad is never going to forgive me, and he's never going to forgive himself for leaving the decision in my hands."  
  
"Vaughn, nothing's going to happen to me."  
  
"You don't know that," he argued.  
  
"Yeah, I do, because I have a guardian angel who won't *let* anything happen to me," she smiled.  
  
"Syd, there won't be any way for me to ensure that nothing happens to you, because I'm not going to be there."  
  
"What?" she blinked in surprise. "Seriously, you're not going to be there? Where are you going to be?"  
  
"At the ops center monitoring what's going on at SD-6 and reporting back to Langley. It was never part of the plan for me to go into the building. What, did you think that I would keep you out of there and go in myself? That would kind of defeat the purpose of keeping you away from there, wouldn't it?" he gently asked.  
  
"Yeah, but I -- I just assumed that you were going to be a part of the team."  
  
"No. Justice decided that since I've been working on the SD-6 investigation for almost five years now, my testimony is almost as important as yours and your father's, so they didn't want to take any chances with me being in there, either."  
  
"Oh," she said quietly.  
  
"Yeah, oh," he smiled. "So as much as my decision may have upset you, at least I wasn't being a hypocrite when I made it."  
  
"No, I guess not." She smiled back at him for a moment before she began to look at him expectantly, wondering if she'd succeeded in changing his mind.  
  
"Please don't look at me that way," he groaned, knowing that he was fighting a losing battle to keep himself from giving into her. "Sydney, I'm going to spend the next three weeks torturing myself over this decision, you know that, right?"  
  
"Vaughn, you don't have to -- "  
  
"I'm going to," he flatly stated. "But I can see how important this is to you, and I know that there's nothing I can say to change your mind -- or is there?" he hopefully asked.  
  
She shook her head and smiled apologetically.  
  
"I figured," he sighed. "Fine, I'll talk to Kendall and Devlin on Monday morning before I leave for Langley," he said, his voice heavy with resignation.  
  
She bowed her head and rested it against his chest. "Thank you, Vaughn," she said sincerely. "I promise, I'll be careful, because this means everything to me. The fact that you're letting me do this simply because you know that I need to means everything to me."  
  
"Sydney, *you* mean everything to me," he stressed, raising her head until she was looking at him again. "So you'd damn sure better be careful. Don't make me regret this," he pleaded.  
  
"I won't," she solemnly promised. "And when it's finally over, it's all about you and me."  
  
"I'm holding you to that. One of these days, I'm going to have to learn how to say no to you," he sighed.  
  
She grinned back at him. "Not any time soon, I hope."   
  
"obviously," he laughed as he glanced down at his watch. "Hey, it's late and we should probably go before we either get caught together or turn into popsicles. Where's your car?"  
  
"Over there," Sydney pointed.  
  
"Alright, come on." He took her hand and began to walk her to her car, and she stole a sidelong glance at him, in awe at the realization that he really would do anything for her, even at the expense of his own feelings. She felt slightly guilty about asking him to change his mind, knowing how much he hated the idea of her participating in the raid, but she reminded herself that this wasn't just for her, it was for him, too. She desperately needed to put Sloane and SD-6 behind her so she could live her life with Vaughn in the absence of fear or regret, and she was extremely grateful that he was giving her the opportunity to do that.  
  
When they reached her car, she leaned back against it and pulled him close to her. "You're the most amazing person I know, and I'm so lucky to have you in my life," she said softly. "I love you so much. You have no idea."  
  
"I have a tiny idea," he smiled. "I love you, too, and you know that I would do anything for you."   
  
He leaned in to kiss her and sparks of electricity shot through both of them as he covered her body with his. She pulled him even closer to her and kissed him more deeply, moaning as his hands restlessly slid over her body. She could feel desire coursing through her and it was more than obvious to her that Vaughn felt the same way. When he pulled back from her a few minutes later, he stared at her so intensely that it made her knees feel weak.  
  
She held her breath for a few moments, waiting for him to speak, but nothing could have prepared her for what he finally said.   
  
"Come home with me."   
  
TBC . . . 


	33. A Beautiful Life

Hey everyone! If you prefer to read the NC-17 version of this chapter, you can read it at http://www.alias-media.com/allies/story.php?no=197&chapter=40  
  
Chapter 33: "A Beautiful Life"   
  
"Vaughn, have you lost your mind?" Sydney asked as she stared at him in disbelief. "You know I can't go home with you."  
  
"Why not?" His breath tickled her neck as he kissed a spot behind her ear, and suddenly she couldn't remember why not. She closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of his lips on her neck for a moment, but quickly shook her head to clear her mind so she could think rationally again.  
  
"We could get caught. Someone could be watching us," she reasoned.  
  
"My building is secure," he murmured as he planted more kisses along the length of her neck. "No one will be watching us there, I promise."  
  
"Vaughn," she lightly protested.  
  
"Syd," he sighed, mimicking her tone. "I need you tonight. I want to be with you and hold you, and talk with you and make love to you all night long. Don't you want that, too?"  
  
"Of course I do, but we can't. We shouldn't," she moaned as his lips brushed across a particularly sensitive spot on her throat. Despite her protests, he continued to kiss her, a fact that she found both exhilarating and maddening as her fingers betrayed her and slipped into his hair.   
  
"Vaughn?" She prayed that he would stop kissing her before the rest of her body betrayed her as well. "Vaughn," she rasped as she tugged on his hair and he finally pried his mouth away from her.  
  
"What?" he regarded her, his eyes hazy with both confusion and lust.  
  
"Vaughn, we're making out in a public parking lot," she breathlessly laughed. "If that's not a sign that we're out of control, I don't know what is."  
  
"Well, the only reason we're still standing here is because you're playing hard to get," he smiled. "Syd, you don't have a good excuse to say no, because tomorrow is Saturday and you don't have to work. Just think -- you could spend all night with me and wake up in my arms tomorrow morning. You know you want to," he softly coaxed.   
  
"Vaughn," she sighed as she cursed herself for being so weak and wanting him so much that she was actually letting herself consider the possibility of going home with him. He was quickly breaking down her resolve, but she desperately tried not to let him see it, knowing that he would play dirty if he had to. Her suspicion was confirmed when he began whispering in her ear, telling her in French all the things he wanted to do to her.  
  
"Okay, that's not fair," she laughed.  
  
"I know," he wickedly grinned.  
  
"You know, all of your little seductive tricks would be wasted on a woman who didn't know French."  
  
"And Italian," he kissed her, "and German," he said with another kiss, "and Spanish," another kiss, "and should I continue?" he innocently asked.  
  
"No, that's unnecessary," she managed to whisper, although he left her breathless. She had always wondered what it felt like to be high, and she supposed that she was finding out at this very moment, although Vaughn was more addictive and more lethal than any drug she could possibly imagine. She was fully aware that she was rapidly losing her ability to reason and think, but it felt so good that she hardly cared. "I've never seen you this persistent," she smiled at him.  
  
"That's because, with the exception of getting you to agree to marry me, I've never wanted anything more than I want you right now. Sydney," he sighed as he stroked her hair, "I just agreed to let you do something incredibly dangerous in a few weeks, and tonight I just need to be with you and feel you and reassure myself that for one night at least, you're completely safe. Please don't deny me that."   
  
She was amazed by the easy way that his tone shifted from low and seductive to sweet and sincere, and as the intensity of his voice and his gaze wrapped themselves around her heart, she knew that her decision was made. She leaned forward and brushed her thumb across his cheek as she softly kissed him.  
  
"Okay," she whispered. "Show me the way home."  
  
*****  
  
As Sydney pulled into a parking space in the garage of Vaughn's building and turned off the engine of her car, she thought to herself for the hundredth time that she was absolutely crazy for doing this. But she was absolutely crazy for Vaughn too, and she wanted to be with him every bit as much as he wanted to be with her. Apparently, she was just as incapable of saying no to him as he was to her, especially when he unleashed his seductive side.  
  
She could already feel the longing stirring inside of her as she watched him get out of his car and walk into his building. She waited for a few more minutes as he'd instructed her to do, and then got out of her own car and walked toward the building. She punched in the access code he had given her to open the door and took the elevator up to the fourteenth floor. Just as she reached 1407 and raised her hand to knock on the door, it swung open and Vaughn pulled her inside, kissing her the minute that he closed the door behind her. She melted into his arms and kissed him back until she heard excited little yelps and a felt a scratching sensation through the legs of her jeans.  
  
"Donovan! Hey buddy, I missed you," she crooned as she bent down to scratch him behind his ears.  
  
"He obviously missed you too," Vaughn smiled as the little bulldog danced around her.  
  
"So I see. Have you been a good boy, Donny?" He wagged his tail excitedly as if to say yes, and she beamed at him.  
  
"I'm going to take him out, but make yourself at home, make yourself comfortable, okay?" He wrapped an arm around her waist as she stood back up and he pulled her close to him. "If you want to make yourself naked while I'm gone, that's okay too," he murmured into her ear.  
  
"Vaughn! Go take the dog out," she ordered with mock sternness.  
  
"What? It was just a suggestion," he laughed as he and Donovan turned to leave.  
  
She shook her head in amused exasperation at his one-track mind. Sometimes, she swore that he was thirty-four going on fifteen, but she loved that aspect of his personality. For so long, she had never realized that that side of him existed, but now his playfulness was one of the things that she adored about him the most.   
  
She stood in the foyer for a few moments after he left and took a deep breath, hardly believing that she was actually in Vaughn's home. This part of him had been hidden from her for so long out of necessity that she almost felt nervous about finally seeing it. At the same time, though, she was curious to find out how many new things she would learn about him just from seeing where he lived.  
  
As soon as she stepped into the living room, she felt as if she had entered the ultimate bachelor pad, complete with black leather furniture, big screen television and more electronic equipment than anyone could possibly ever need. A plush cream, black, and grey rug sank underneath her feet as she sifted through the magazines on his coffee table, noticing copies of Newsweek, Time, GQ, Sports Illustrated, Le Monde, and the L.A. Kings' Media Guide. In the far corner of the room sat a pool table lined with red felt instead of the normal green, and she could almost picture Vaughn and Weiss playing pool on Saturday afternoons after watching a full day's slate of college football games.  
  
As much as Vaughn's place resembled almost every sports-loving American male's fantasy, however, it was balanced by the modern art that adorned the walls and the sculptures that sat in the corners of the room. Her mind flashed back to the day that she met him at the Getty museum and discovered his interest in art, and she realized with a smile that he hadn't simply been trying to impress her that day. His cultured and sophisticated European side was prominently on display through the art work, and she couldn't get over how much the entire room was a reflection of him, seeming to capture all the different facets of both his personality and his background.  
  
She walked over to inspect the mantle above his fireplace, finding herself drawn to the pictures neatly arranged along the black shelf -- pictures of him with Elise, one of Donovan as a puppy, one of a huge, multigenerational group of people whom she assumed to be the Vaughns.   
  
She carefully picked up a wooden frame that held a picture of an attractive blonde woman holding an adorable baby and she studied it curiously. The woman looked remarkably like Elise, but the picture appeared to have been taken relatively recently. She was so engrossed in the photograph that she didn't even notice that Vaughn had returned until he wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder.  
  
"What's up, Gorgeous?"  
  
"Who's this?"  
  
"That's my cousin Nathalie and her son, Christian. She sent that to me a couple of weeks ago."  
  
"He's so cute," she smiled as she placed the frame back on the mantle.  
  
"Yeah, he is. For a while, my mom thought that he was as close as she was ever going to get to having a grandchild, but that was just before she met you and her hopes were revived," he laughed. "Do you want something to eat or drink," he asked, suddenly remembering his manners.  
  
"No, I'm fine." She closed her eyes and smiled as she leaned back into his chest. "I can't believe that I'm here with you," she marveled. "How many people can say that the first time they ever saw their fiance's home was *after* they got engaged?"  
  
"Not many," he laughed. "But you and I aren't ordinary people."  
  
"That's an understatement." She turned around and smiled as she looked at him. "I really like this place."  
  
"Good, because in my crystal ball, I see the two of us spending a lot of time here in the not too distant future. You haven't seen all of it, though. Allow me to give you the grand tour," he smiled.  
  
"Lead the way."  
  
He took her hand and led her down the hall until they reached a large bedroom done in navy and various shades of grey.   
  
"We're starting the grand tour with your bedroom?" she asked with an arched eyebrow.  
  
"Mmm hmm. We're ending it here too," he laughed as he shut the door behind them.   
  
"Then, I'm glad I didn't pay for this so-called tour."   
  
"Oh, you're about to," he lasciviously grinned. "I'm not even sure that you can afford the admission fee." Just as he leaned in to kiss her again, they were interrupted by a scratching sound on the other side of the door and he groaned.  
  
"Damn. I was in such a rush to get you into bed that I forgot to put Donovan up. I'll be right back, okay?"  
  
"Hurry back," she smiled as he quickly kissed her. She stood and admired his immaculate room for a moment before wandering into his large walk-in closet. She was completely unsurprised to see suits and dress shirts lining one wall, neatly separated by color, and casual clothes on the other wall, not appearing to be organized in any particular way other than to separate pants and jeans from shirts and sweaters. She thoughtfully studied the contrast -- buttoned-up, always professional Agent Vaughn to her left and casual, easygoing, relaxed Michael to the right. Two parts of one whole, and she couldn't live without either one of them, because Michael was the one who made her laugh and was so incredibly sweet, the one who'd brought her breakfast in bed and shocked her with a proposal when she'd least expected it. But Agent Vaughn was the one who'd kept her safe for the last year and a half, the one who'd been with her every step of the way as she worked to bring down SD-6, and who'd shown her that there was one person in her life that she could trust completely. *And,* she realized with a wicked grin, Agent Vaughn was the one who had the extensive tie collection. She moved over to his tie rack and gently fingered a red silk tie just as he came back into his room.  
  
"Syd?" he called out.  
  
"In here," she called back. A moment later, he walked into the closet and shook his head.  
  
"Oh, hell no," he laughed as he took her hand and dragged her out of the closet. "Come away from those."  
  
"What? I was just looking," she innocently protested.  
  
"No. You we're touching, too, and that could get us into a lot of trouble. We won't be needing those tonight," he shook his head.  
  
"Damn, you're no fun," she pouted.  
  
"I'm plenty of fun, but there are other ways to have fun than with neckwear."  
  
She noticed the glint in his eyes and felt her body instantly respond to his words. "I want you to show me all of them," she breathed.  
  
"That could take a lot of time," he smiled.  
  
"I didn't meant tonight," she laughed. "But we'll have all the time in the world, soon."  
  
"Yeah, you're right," he murmured. He pulled her into his arms and rested his forehead against hers as he looked deeply into her eyes and smiled.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" she asked as she stroked his forearms.  
  
"I just can't believe that you're actually here with me. Before we got together, I used to dream about this. I always imagined that I would bring you here after we took down SD-6 -- like *immediately* after we took down SD-6."  
  
"Oh, so in all of those dreams, I actually *participated* in the takedown?" she innocently asked, making him laugh in response.  
  
"Yes dear, you did," he exaggeratedly replied.   
  
"Just checking," she smiled as she cocked her head to the side and looked at him. "So, really the first thing that you were going to do after SD-6 was gone was bring me home with you? What ever made you think that I would have wanted you to do that?" He shot her a knowing look and she laughed. "Okay, obviously I would have wanted you to do that," she admitted.  
  
"Don't I know it," he grinned. "The way I always imagined it, I would bring you home with me and we'd finally spend our first night together, discovering each other, making love to each other. And when we woke up the next day, you'd be free and I would be free to take you outside in the daylight, take you anywhere you wanted to go and tell you how much I loved you."  
  
She smiled as she slipped her hands underneath his long sleeved t-shirt and rubbed his back. "Can I tell you a secret? I used to dream about that too. The first thing I wanted to do after SD-6 was destroyed was find you and kiss you, and finally give into all the feelings that we had been hiding and ignoring. I dreamt about that for so long, but the way we actually came together was perfect. The first time we made love in Lake Tahoe was better than any fantasy I ever had, and I wouldn't go back and change that for anything."  
  
"Me either. Can you imagine what it would have been like if we hadn't spent that weekend together? Maybe we'd still be waiting to make out move on each other."  
  
"Honestly, I don't know if I *could* have waited much longer than I did, especially after you got sick. It was impossible to hide the way that I felt about you after that, Vaughn. I think I would have exploded if we had waited any longer, and even though it might have been smarter to wait, whatever self-restraint I had flew out the window once I saw you in ski clothes." She grinned at him as she slid his shirt up his chest and deftly removed it in a single, fluid motion.   
  
"God, you were so sexy that day," she remembered, "and I loved seeing you laugh and smile, seeing you have fun for once without having to worry about me. That was the day that I finally got to see Michael instead of Agent Vaughn, and I realized that I was even more in love with you than I already thought I was. And I've fallen even more in love with you every day since then," she murmured as she placed a soft kiss over his heart.   
  
Her words touched a place deep inside of him and he ran his fingers through her hair, gently tilting her head back before lowering his lips onto hers and kissing her with the intoxicating mix of love-filled sweetness and lust-fueled desire that she had become so addicted to ever since that first weekend with him. His kiss instantly sparked her desire for him, and the sparks ignited a slow burning fire in her as he slid his lips onto her neck and brushed his hand across her breasts. As he peeled away her tank top and lowered his mouth onto the soft flesh just above the edge of her bra, the fire grew into a raging inferno.  
  
*****  
  
Sydney and Vaughn were both silent for a few minutes as they laid in bed together, him trying to regain his breath and his senses and her listening to the strong, rhythmic thump of his heartbeat. She felt so good wrapped in the warm cocoon of his embrace, and she was overwhelmed by the depth of the love she felt for him. Knowing that she would soon be able to spend all her nights like this made her deliriously happy.  
  
"Vaughn, can I ask you something?"  
  
"I might not be coherent enough to answer you, but yeah."  
  
She lifted her head and rested her chin on his chest. "Why did you ask me to start looking for houses a while back?"  
  
"Um, because we're going to need somewhere to live after we get married?" he uncertainly replied.  
  
"Obviously," she rolled her eyes and smiled. "I meant, how come you don't want to keep this place?"  
  
"I don't know," he shrugged. "I never really thought much about it. I just assumed that you'd prefer to move into a house that was ours from the beginning rather than a condo that used to be just mine. Do you not want that?"  
  
"Oh, I wouldn't mind moving into a house, but this place is great. It's close to work and it has a great view of the city, and it's certainly big enough for two people . . ." her voice trailed off as she grew momentarily distracted by a bead of sweat glistening on his chest and licked it off.  
  
"Yeah, it's big enough for the two of us, but it may not be big enough for our hockey team full of brown-haired, brown-eyed little girls," he smiled.  
  
"Actually, I was envisioning them more as green-eyed, sandy-haired boys," she laughed, "but in any case, it's not like we're going to start having kids immediately, unless -- is that what you want?" she asked, realizing that they hadn't really discussed the timing aspects of starting a family.  
  
"Well, I think my mom would want that, but honestly? I wouldn't mind having you all to myself for a while so we could have more nights like tonight. How long did *you* want to wait to start having kids?"  
  
"I don't know, a couple of years, I guess. At least until we get tired of having the freedom to make love on the kitchen floor if we want to."  
  
He grinned. "Have you *seen* the floor in the kitchen? It's a hard ceramic tile."  
  
"So?" she laughed. "What's wrong? Is it going to mar your delicate skin?" she teased.  
  
"No, I'm just -- would you really want to live here?" he asked as he drew himself up onto his elbows.  
  
"Yeah, I would," she smiled. "I just don't see the point of looking for a house, when you already have the perfect place to live."  
  
"Well, I never thought of it as perfect before, but it's starting to feel that way now that you're here. I think you belong here, Sydney."  
  
"I belong wherever you are," she smiled.   
  
"Yeah, you do, Syd. You and I are going to have an incredibly beautiful life together," he vowed as he softly kissed her cheek.  
  
"A beautiful life," she softly echoed as a smile lit her entire face. When she looked at him and saw the absolute love shining in his beautiful green eyes, she had no doubt that it was true.  
  
*****  
  
Early Saturday morning, Agent Sean Bridges walked through the empty halls of SD-6 headquarters. He was generally a late riser, especially on the weekends, but he was wide awake this morning knowing that he possibly held the key to his future in his hands. He had been incredibly flattered when Sloane recruited him for an off the books surveillance op, and he knew that with the information in his hands, he would soon become a trusted ally of Sloane's. He couldn't imagine what that would do for his career, but he was more than eager to find out.  
  
As he walked towards Sloane's office, he saw the older man look up from his desk and press a button to unlock the glass door to his office, allowing Agent Bridges to enter the office without having to announce himself.  
  
"Good morning, sir," he broadly smiled.  
  
"Good morning, Agent Bridges. I didn't expect to see you here this morning."  
  
"I know sir, but I knew that you would be here, and I thought that you would want this package as soon as possible."  
  
Sloane looked at Agent Bridges questioningly as he took a large manila envelope from his hand. He quickly opened it and removed its contents, sucking in a deep breath as he suddenly felt as if he had been punched in the gut.  
  
The envelope contained exactly what he'd expected to eventually see when he first became suspicious of Sydney a couple of months ago -- photographs of her and a handsome young man locked in an intimate embrace.  
  
"When were these taken?" Sloane asked as the his initial shock over Sydney's duplicity gave way to anger.  
  
"Last night at the pier, sir."  
  
"And have you identified this man yet?"  
  
"Yes sir. His name is Michael Vaughn," he paused, "and he's an agent of the CIA."  
  
TBC . . . 


	34. The Best Laid Plans

A/N: Sorry for the extra long wait for this chapter. Thank you all for being so patient and for being such wonderful readers!  
  
Chapter 34: "The Best Laid Plans"  
  
Sydney stretched luxuriously as the rays of early morning sunlight streamed in through the windows in Vaughn's room on Saturday morning. She couldn't remember the last time that she had slept so well, but she suspected that it must have been in Santa Monica, the last time she woke up in a bed next to Vaughn. She yawned and opened her eyes, expecting to see Vaughn laying next to her, but his side of the bed was completely empty.  
  
She assumed that he had taken Donovan for a walk until she looked down at the floor next to her side of the bed and saw the little dog looking up at her expectantly. She smiled, remembering the way that she'd woken up to find him laying on the floor next to her each morning while she was in Virginia. She reached down to pet him briefly before reluctantly leaving the warmth of Vaughn's bed. She quickly grabbed one of his white dress shirts that was laying across a chair in the corner of the room and padded out into the hallway, with Donovan trotting along behind her.  
  
"Vaughn?" she sleepily called out.  
  
"I'm in the kitchen."   
  
Sydney entered the kitchen to see Vaughn beating eggs as a colorful display of chopped vegetables, diced ham, and grated cheese covered half of the countertop.  
  
"Hey," he smiled over his shoulder as she walked toward him.  
  
She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and kissed his cheek. "Hi. Why didn't you wake me up sooner?"  
  
"You were sleeping so peacefully that I didn't want to. Besides, it's Saturday. You deserve to sleep late."  
  
"I never sleep late except when I'm with you," she smiled as she hopped up on the counter and watched him continue to beat the eggs. "I didn't know you could cook."  
  
"I can't," he laughed. "I can make omelettes and spaghetti, and that's about the extent of my culinary skills. Why do you think I know so many good restaurants? It's because I never cook."  
  
"Ah, the truth comes out. You didn't have to make breakfast for me, though, if you never cook."  
  
"I wanted to. It's no big deal," he shrugged.  
  
"No, I mean, really, you shouldn't have. Is it going to be edible?" she teased.  
  
"Not after a put the cyanide in," he shot back. "Relax. I may not be able to boil water, but I can make a champion omelet."  
  
"Then I can't wait to taste it," she smiled. "Are you going to make me breakfast every morning once we're married?" she grinned.  
  
"I'll do whatever you want after we're married."  
  
"Do you have a pen and some paper so I can record the exact date and time at which you made that promise?"  
  
"No, I sure don't," he laughed. They grinned stupidly at each other for a few moments until they were interrupted by the shrill ring of the telephone.  
  
"Hello?" Vaughn asked as he picked up the cordless phone. "Hey! I was going to call you later this afternoon. How was New York? Yeah? You'll have to tell me all about it over dinner. I know, I am too."  
  
Sydney listened and watched with interest as Vaughn carried on his conversation with a wide smile on his face. As she watched him cross over to the refrigerator, clad in sweatpants and a t-shirt, she realized how wonderfully, blessedly normal it felt to be at home with him on a Saturday morning. Even though she'd been at his place for less than twenty-four hours, she already felt like it was home, and she couldn't wait to share more mornings like this with him.  
  
"Hey, I have a surprise for you, okay? Hang on just a second."   
  
Sydney looked at him curiously as he smiled and held the phone out to her.  
  
"No one's supposed to know I'm here," she whispered, holding her hand over the receiver.  
  
"It's fine. Trust me."  
  
She rolled her eyes as she apprehensively answered the phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Sydney? Well, this is a surprise. I didn't know that you would be there with Michael."  
  
"Elise!" Sydney cried in delight. "How are you?  
  
"I'm wonderful, dear. How are you doing?" Elise warmly asked.  
  
"I'm good. Really good, actually," she smiled at Vaughn as he beamed back at her.  
  
"Is Michael taking good care of you?"  
  
"Of course. He's the best, but you already know that. You must be excited to see him again on Monday."  
  
"I am, but it's such a short visit that I'll probably end up seeing him only long enough to have dinner. Michael is insisting that I come to Los Angeles in July, though, so hopefully I'll get to spend more time with him then, and with you as well."  
  
"I would love that. I can't wait to see you again."  
  
"I'm looking forward to it as well. Listen, I'm about to drive through a tunnel, so I need to hang up, but please tell Michael that I'll pick him up from the airport on Monday afternoon."  
  
"Okay, I will. Take care, Elise."  
  
"You too, Sydney. Au revoir."  
  
"Your mom's so cute," Sydney smiled as she disconnected the call and handed the phone back to Vaughn. "She said to tell you that she'll pick you up from the airport on Monday. Why were you smiling so much while we were talking?"  
  
"Just because," he smiled. "The two of you are my favorite women, that's all. And, uh, speaking of mothers," Vaughn hesitantly began, "have you talked to yours lately?"  
  
"No," Sydney said in surprise. "Why do you ask?"  
  
"I was just wondering. You haven't mentioned her in the last few weeks."  
  
"I haven't had anything to say about her," she shrugged. "I don't really have anything to say *to* her either."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Why would I?"  
  
"Because she's your mother?" Vaughn offered.  
  
"That's not a good enough reason," she sourly replied. "You know, you're the *last* person I'd expect to sound surprised and disappointed that I haven't spoken with my mother recently."  
  
"I never said I was disappointed, but I am surprised. Why haven't you talked to her?" he gently asked as he stepped away from the stove and stood in front of her.  
  
"Why do you think?" she pointedly asked.  
  
"Syd," he sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. "This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. This is why I wasn't going to tell you about the things that she said to me."  
  
"But you did, because I asked you to. And I'm glad that you told me, because if you hadn't, I wouldn't know just what kind of person she is -- not that it should have come as a shock to me," she bitterly added.  
  
"Syd, you still don't know what kind of person she is, because you -- "  
  
"Are you defending her?" she incredulously asked. "How can you do that after the things she said to you? After the way she threw your father's death in your face without any regard to how it would make you feel?"  
  
"I'm not defending her," he firmly replied, "and this isn't about me. This is about you and her, and I told you that I didn't want to stand in the way of your relationship with her."  
  
"Which was incredibly selfless of you, Vaughn, and I appreciate that more than you know," she sighed as she pulled him closer to her and wrapped her arms around his neck. "But you can't expect me not to be angered or affected by the things that she said to you. She hurt you, Vaughn, and that hurt me. Maybe I'll get over it one day, maybe I won't, but don't ask me not to take it personally, because I do. No matter what her reasons were for saying those things to you, no one with common decency would have done that."  
  
"Syd, you know that I'm not trying to tell you how to feel about her or what she said to me. I just want to make sure that you know that you don't have to prove your loyalty to me. I can handle your relationship with her, I promise."  
  
"I know that, even though I don't understand how. But I'm not avoiding her for your sake, I'm avoiding her for mine, because really, I just can't deal with her now. If I had seen or talked to her recently, I don't think I could have controlled the things that I said to her, and who knows what kind of repercussions that might have had on her agreement with the CIA."  
  
"Please tell me that your mother's cooperation with the CIA isn't your primary concern here," Vaughn scoffed.  
  
"Why are you laughing? I *should* be concerned about that," she argued.  
  
"Well yeah, of course you should," he conceded, "but Sydney, we're talking about your life, not your job. What you want is more important than whatever the CIA wants."  
  
"Realllly? Well, I'll let *you* be the one to explain that to Kendall," she wryly smiled. "And for the immediate future, as far as my mother is concerned, her cooperation with the CIA *is* my primary concern -- at least until Sloane is either rotting in a cell or dead. For now, I need to keep the peace with her, which is why I've stayed away."   
  
"And you know what? I really don't want to talk about her anymore and I'm starving. So, what does a girl have to do to get an omelet around this place?"  
  
"That depends. What are you willing to do?" Vaughn asked with a suggestively raised eyebrow.  
  
"I'm willing to . . . set the table," Sydney laughed as she kissed his nose and hopped down off of the counter.  
  
*****  
  
"Do you really have to go?" Vaughn forlornly asked as Sydney finished buttoning her shirt from the night before,  
  
"I don't want to, but yes, I have to go. Francie's probably freaking out because I didn't come home last night, and I've probably already pressed my luck by being here for as long as I have. If I could, I would stay for the whole weekend," she sighed as she sat down next to him on his bed.  
  
"You know you're gonna break Donovan's heart when you leave," he smiled.  
  
"Then maybe I'll take him with me. You wouldn't mind that, would you?" she innocently asked.  
  
"Hey, if I don't get to be with you, neither does he. I was just trying to guilt you into staying."  
  
"Yeah, I picked up on that," she laughed as she stood up and pulled him up with her. "You know, one day I'm going to come here and never leave, and you're going to long for the days when you had the place all to yourself."  
  
"That'll never happen," he promised as he followed her down the hallway. When they reached the front door, they quietly stood and regarded each other, both knowing that she needed to go, but neither of them willing to be the first to say goodbye. After a few minutes, Vaughn finally spoke again, breaking the comfortable silence that had descended over them.  
  
"I know that asking you to come here last night was a crazy idea, but it was worth it just to wake up next to you this morning."  
  
"It was crazy, but I don't regret it. I'm just glad that we made up -- several times," she smilingly added.  
  
"Yeah, I think we made up for about *five* fights," he laughed. "Just remember that the next time I piss you off."  
  
"And pass up the chance to make up all over again? Never." She stepped closer to him and hugged him, wrapping him in a tight embrace as she buried her face into his neck. "Thank you for understanding about Danny, for always understanding me," she whispered. "I love you."  
  
"I love you too," he murmured as he kissed her forehead and nose, then gave her a slow, smoldering goodbye kiss. "I'll see you on Thursday."  
  
"No, call me on Wednesday night when you get back," she pleaded.  
  
"It's going to be really late when I get back," he warned.  
  
"It doesn't matter, just call me. I'll sleep better knowing that you made it back safely."  
  
"Okay, I will. Hey, try not to stay out of trouble while I'm gone," he said, barely trying to suppress a teasing smile.  
  
"Whatever will I do without you here to supervise me? she rolled her eyes. "I'll be fine, I promise. Have a safe trip." With those words and a quick kiss on the cheek, she was gone, leaving him behind to notice how empty and lifeless his place already seemed without her in it.  
  
*****  
  
Sydney had just slipped into a tank top and comfortable sweatpants when she heard the front door of her apartment open. She quickly gathered her wet hair into a bun as she walked out into the living room.  
  
"Hey, Fran!"  
  
"Hi Sydney. Did you have a nice night?" Francie smirked, her eyes twinkling.  
  
"Yeah, it was great," Sydney sheepishly smiled. "Sorry that I forgot to call to tell you that I wouldn't be home."  
  
"It's okay. I figured that you were probably with Michael. You seemed distracted last night before you left, and I assumed it had something to do with him. Is everything okay with him?" she asked with concern.  
  
"Couldn't be better," Sydney assured her.  
  
"Good. That means I won't have to take all of this back," Francie excitedly replied as she emptied the contents of a white plastic bag onto the coffee table.  
  
"What is all of this?"  
  
"Essentials. "Bride's," "Modern Bride," "Los Angeles Bride," "Martha Stewart Living's" wedding issue -- because I know how much you love Martha even if she *is* a criminal -- a wedding planner, and oh, this is for me," she breathlessly concluded as she picked up a copy of "The Bridesmaid's Guerrilla Handbook."  
  
"I'm glad you didn't go overboard with this theme," Sydney laughed.  
  
"Well, we have to start planning. It's time to get your butt in gear, girl. It's been almost two months since you told me that you were engaged, and I haven't seen you look at a single invitation, flower arrangement, or gown. You *are* actually getting married, right?" she teased. "I never even see you wear your ring."  
  
"I'm wearing it right now!" Sydney protested, waving her hand in exasperated amusement. "And yes, I am actually getting married, but I just haven't had much time to think about the wedding, that's all."  
  
"Well, not that I want you to turn into Bridezilla or anything, but it's officially time to start thinking about the wedding Sydney, because I don't want to end up wearing some hideous bridesmaid's dress that's the only thing left in the stores after all of the other brides have already picked over everything. Speaking of which, when is this alleged wedding going to take place?"  
  
"I don't know," Sydney admitted with a slight frown. It suddenly occurred to her that she had been afraid to even begin planning the wedding because of her fear that something would go wrong with the raid on SD-6. She silently cursed Sloane for the fact that she hadn't been able to enjoy being engaged and planning her wedding like most normal brides.  
  
"So you don't even have a date yet?" Francie asked incredulously.   
  
"Things have been up in the air because of work," Sydney lamely explained even though it was the truth. "We've kind of been waiting for things to settle down before we set an actual date, but I imagine we'll do it sometime this fall."  
  
"Okay, well at least fall gives us something to work with. Now we know that we can cross pink, yellow, and lime green off the of the list of potential color schemes," Francie laughed.  
  
"You could have crossed pink and lime green off no matter when I was getting married," Sydney scoffed as she began to flip through the copy of "Bride's." "Ooh, look at this dress," she exclaimed.  
  
"See, now you're getting into the spirit," Francie happily observed. "So are you thinking big wedding, small wedding, formal or informal, inside or outside? Talk to me."  
  
"Well, initially I was thinking big, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe it would be better to have a smaller, more intimate wedding. But on the other hand, Michael has a big family, and I definitely want all of them to be there, so I'm not sure yet, but I'm dying to see him in a tux, so definitely formal," she laughed.  
  
"Definitely," Francie agreed. "So are the two of you still going to live in L.A. once you get married? And do you want kids? And -- "  
  
"Hey, take a breath every once in a while, okay?" Sydney giggled. "Yes and yes. You're just full of questions today, aren't you?"  
  
"Sorry," she sheepishly replied. "It's just that the only thing I really know about this guy is that you're going to marry him, so I'm just curious about him. So, is the sex good?" she asked with a mischievous grin.  
  
"Francie! I can't believe you just asked me that," Sydney blushed.  
  
"Since when? We've always dished the dirt about sex. But if you're too shy to talk about it now, that probably means it's damned good."  
  
"I'll never tell," Sydney evasively smiled.  
  
"You don't have to -- the look on your face says everything," Francie laughed. "Hey, what do you think about this dress?"  
  
Sydney scrunched up her nose and shook her head no as she glanced at Francie's magazine. "I don't think I want to wear red at my wedding."  
  
"Not for you, silly! For me. I kind of like it, but it doesn't have to be in red. Just as long as it's not in purple. You're not going to have a purple wedding, are you?"  
  
Sydney laughed, well aware of her best friend's hatred of the color purple. "No purple, I promise. But I haven't ruled out orange yet."  
  
Francie looked at Sydney in wide-eyed horror.  
  
"What? Orange is a fall color," Sydney protested.  
  
"Well, so is brown, but it's not a *wedding* color," Francie said distastefully. "I really hope that you're not -- wait, you were joking, weren't you?"  
  
"Yeah," Sydney smirked.  
  
"I hate you," Francie laughed as she tossed a pillow at Sydney. "I'm really going to miss this once you're gone, you know. In less than six months, you're going to be married, and I'm going to be here all alone," she said with a heavy, exaggerated sigh.  
  
"Oh, come on. One day you're going to meet a really great guy too."  
  
"Yeah, I can dream anyway. Hey, maybe Michael has some friends that he can introduce me to."  
  
"Well actually, he does have this one friend, Craig, who's really hot. You'd probably like him."  
  
"You think so? What does he do?"  
  
"He works for the CIA."  
  
"The CIA?" Francie made a face. "How hot could he possibly be if works for the CIA? I mean, really, Syd. Don't let a Colin Farrell movie trick you into believing that the CIA is full of hot guys."  
  
"Okay, whatever you say, Francie," Sydney smiled. She wouldn't exactly say that the CIA was *full* of hot guys, but it certainly had it's fair share, as she could attest.  
  
"I wouldn't mind meeting Craig, though," Francie offered. "You know, just in case you want to arrange for us to unexpectedly run into each other one day."  
  
"Fran, you're crazy," Sydney laughed.  
  
"I know. That's why you love me," she grinned.  
  
*****  
  
Sydney sat at her desk on Monday afternoon and glanced at her watch for the fifth time that hour, knowing that Vaughn was scheduled to arrive in Washington a couple of hours ago. She had missed him ever since she said goodbye to him on Saturday, and she already couldn't wait until he was back in L.A. There was so much that she wanted to talk to him about after spending the weekend making preliminary wedding plans with Francie.   
  
Even though it had long since sunk in that she was getting married, the past weekend had really been the first time it had sunk in that she was going to have a *wedding,* and she had been surprised to realize just how excited she was about planning it. Danny had been killed so soon after their engagement that she hadn't had time to start planning anything, and as she remembered that, she vowed to let herself fully enjoy the experience of planning her wedding to Vaughn.   
  
She was already imagining Vaughn in a tuxedo when the buzzer on her phone jolted her out of her reverie.  
  
"This is Agent Bristow."  
  
"Sydney, can you come to my office, please? I have something that I'd like to speak to you about before you leave for the evening."  
  
"Sure, I'll be right in," she smoothly replied, although she was once again cursing Sloane for being the omnipresent black cloud hanging over her life. She soothed herself with the knowledge that in a little more than two weeks, neither Sloane nor the Alliance would ever again be in the position to control any aspect of her life.  
  
"Good evening, sir," she said as she entered his office.  
  
"Good evening, Sydney. Don't bother to sit, this won't take long. I just needed to inform you that I have an assignment for you. The details of your mission are inside this briefcase," he said, handing her a steel case with a digital lock, "and they're quite sensitive, which is why I'd prefer it if you didn't discuss this with anyone else. Not Dixon, not your father, no one, Sydney. This is crucially important," he solemnly stated.  
  
"Of course," Sydney nodded, wondering what could possibly be so classified about this mission.   
  
"The briefcase is digitally locked and it's set on a timer. At seven o'clock, the lock will open, giving you access to the contents inside. Don't attempt to open the briefcase before that time, Sydney," he admonished.  
  
"I won't," she assured him. "Is there a reason why all of this is so top secret?"  
  
"Yes, but that will become clear to you later when the time comes. Don't worry, Sydney, you'll be fine. That's all," he cooly dismissed her.   
  
"Okay, thank you sir." She picked up the briefcase and quickly exited his office, trying to ignore the ominous warning bells that had been set off by Sloane's odd behavior.  
  
*****  
  
"Thanks for dinner, Michael," Elise smiled as she and Vaughn drove away from their favorite Italian restaurant and headed back to her house.  
  
"You don't have to thank me. I was just looking for an excuse to go to Gianni's."  
  
"I should have known. I swear, we must have eaten there once a week while you were at Langley," she laughed. "It's almost as bad as that place you like so much in Rome. What's that one called again?"  
  
"Trattoria di Nardi," he smiled.  
  
"That's right, how could I forget?" she rolled her eyes. "Have you ever taken Sydney there?"  
  
"Not yet, but I told her that I would the next time we're in Rome."  
  
"The next time you're in Rome," Elise shook her head. "You know, your life with Sydney will never be boring, what with all the globetrotting and espionage in the background. I just hope it won't be too terribly boring for the two of you when you're at home alone on a typical Sunday afternoon with nowhere to jet off to."  
  
"No chance of that," Vaughn smiled. "Actually, we both love it when we can just relax like normal people."  
  
"Speaking of which, I was surprised to learn that Sydney was at your place when I called on Saturday. Was it safe for her to be there?" she asked with a concerned frown.   
  
"Not really, but there were extenuating circumstances the night before."  
  
"Oh. Well, in any case, I'm glad that you're getting to spend at least a little time together. I just hope that love isn't blinding the two of you to the realities of your lives and the danger of what could happen if you get caught together."  
  
"It's not, mom, I promise. We're being careful," he smiled reassuringly.   
  
As they continued down the dark two-lane highway back to McLean and chatted about Elise's upcoming trip to Marseilles, Vaughn never noticed the car speeding down the highway behind them with its lights turned off until it was too late. The car rammed into the back of his car and sent it hurling into the wooded area along the side of the road. As the car smashed into a tree, the last sounds Vaughn heard were his mother's blood-curdling scream, the ear-splitting shattering of glass, and the sickeningly loud groan of metal twisting as he and Elise became encased in a steel tomb.  
  
After that, everything turned black until the black was replaced with a blinding shade of white.  
  
*****  
  
Sydney pressed the end button on her cell phone and tossed it onto her night stand with a frustrated sigh. She had been trying to call Vaughn for the past hour, but wasn't getting any answer. She knew that his flight had arrived safely, but she was starting to worry nevertheless, knowing that Vaughn never turned his phone off or went anywhere without it. She shook her head and walked into the kitchen to get a bottle of water, trying to convince herself that there was probably a very simple explanation for her inability to get in touch with him.  
  
When she walked back into her room and saw that it was a few minutes after seven, she picked up the briefcase Sloane had given her and set it on her bed before pressing the button to unlock it. She hoped that whatever was inside would provide at least a temporary distraction from her growing worries about Vaughn. She was surprised, however, when she found nothing inside the briefcase but a large, stark white envelope, which she quickly picked up and opened it. When she removed the contents and began to study them, her blood ran cold and her heartbeat raced as she began to sweat, hardly believing what she was seeing.  
  
Her hands shook almost violently as she held four pieces of glossy paper in her hand. There, immortalized for all the world -- and Sloane -- to see, were the grainy but unmistakable images of her and Vaughn locked in an intimate embrace at the pier a few nights before.  
  
TBC . . . 


	35. A Preemptive Strike

A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks for being so patient in waiting for the new chapter. This one is dedicated to Michelle who never fails to amuse me with her e-mails. Yes, it most definitely *is* all about the Vaughn. :D  
  
Chapter 35: "A Preemptive Strike"  
  
After staring at the copies of the pictures that Sloane now had in his possession, it took a few minutes for Sydney's breathing to return to a semi-normal state. Once it did, however, she grabbed her cellphone again and dialed Vaughn's number, growing more frantic and anguished with each shrill, unanswered ring. With each successive call, she got his voice mail, hung up, and re-dialed again, only to be further taunted by the realization that he wasn't going to answer his phone -- that maybe he *couldn't* answer his phone.  
  
After a half hour of equally futile attempts to reach Vaughn, Sydney was on the verge of a full-blown panic attack. She briefly considered calling her father, but he was in Singapore and she knew that there was nothing that he could do to help her. If she couldn't reach Vaughn from three thousand miles away, her father certainly wouldn't be able to reach him from half a world away. Besides, she knew that her father would merely attempt to calm her down and tell her not to worry, and that was absolutely the last thing she wanted or needed to hear right now. Moreover, she didn't want to have to explain to him how she and Vaughn had been so careless as to have been caught with each other in the first place.  
  
She paced back and forth in front of her bed, trying to figure out what to do until it occurred to her that there was only one person who truly knew what was going on with Vaughn.   
  
She barely noticed the scenery a few minutes later as she sped along the familiar route to the Credit Dauphine building. She knew that going to SD-6 headquarters right now might be a suicidal mistake, but she didn't care. If Sloane knew about her and Vaughn, he had probably already made some kind of attempt on Vaughn's life, and if that monster had taken Vaughn away from her, then she didn't have anything to lose by confronting him now.  
  
She was already visualizing all of the ways that she could kill Sloane with her bare hands when she realized that she needed to calm down and think about the situation rationally. There was a chance -- albeit, a slight one -- that Sloane didn't have anything to do with her inability to reach Vaughn. And if, by some chance, Vaughn was unhurt and unharmed, she needed to do whatever it took to persuade Sloane to keep it that way. So as she entered SD-6, she breathed in deeply to steady her nerves, knowing that she was going to have to give the performance of her life if she was going to make it back out of the building alive and perhaps spare Vaughn's life as well.  
  
She headed down the hallway to Sloane's office, unsurprised to find him still there even though the building was mostly deserted. When he looked up saw her, he pressed the button to let her into his office, looking remarkably unsurprised that she had come to pay him a visit.  
  
"Sydney," he cooly acknowledged, "I imagined that you'd be back this evening."  
  
"So now you know that I've been seeing someone," she blurted out, foregoing a greeting as she cut straight to the chase. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you were having me followed."  
  
"Sydney, it's standard protocol for security section to conduct surveillance on our agents from time to time. You should know that by now," Sloane reproached. "It's certainly regrettable that I had to resort to those measures, but I had a feeling that you were being less than truthful when I asked you if you were seeing someone."  
  
"Can you blame me?" she mirthlessly laughed. "Do I need to remind you what you did to the last man that I loved?"  
  
"Interesting," he smiled, choosing to ignore her question to him. "Are you saying that you love Michael Vaughn?"  
  
Sydney's blood began to boil the minute that she heard Vaughn's name cross Sloane's lips, and she suddenly realized that she had never wanted to kill anyone more than she wanted to kill him at that very moment. Instead, she clenched her hands into tight fists and attempted to remain calm, reminding herself of what was at stake.  
  
"Yes, I love him," she softly admitted. She told Sloane the truth, praying that some small part of his heart still functioned enough to prevent him from killing yet another man that she loved.  
  
"How much do you know about Mr. Vaughn, Sydney?"  
  
Sydney's eyes narrowed suspiciously in anticipation of where Sloane was getting ready to take their conversation. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean how much do you really know about him? For instance, what does he do for a living?"  
  
"He's an attorney, a junior partner at one of the firms downtown," she innocently replied, the lie slipping easily off of her tongue. "He graduated from Georgetown Law in 1994," she added, knowing that Sloane probably already knew enough information about Vaughn to appreciate the veracity of her statement.  
  
"I see." He pushed his index fingers together and rested them underneath his chin as he thoughtfully mulled over her answer, "Have you ever been to his office?"  
  
"No, I haven't. Why?"  
  
"Does he ever discuss his work with you?"  
  
"He's told me about a few of his cases, but truth be told, hearing about his work usually bores me. I don't know much about the ins and outs of corporate defense work -- nor do I want to," she smilingly admitted.  
  
"And what have you told him about your job?"  
  
"That I work for a bank, in the corporate finance department," she matter-of-factly stated. She stared at him for a few moments before replacing her blank expression with a look of wide-eyed indignation. "Wait, you don't think that I would -- ? I have never once uttered the name SD-6 or told Michael anything about what I really do. You can't possibly believe that I would do something like that again after . . . after what happened the last time."  
  
"Anything is possible, Sydney."  
  
"Not that. Not after what happened to Danny. I've accepted that I will *never* be able to share the truth about my job with anyone outside the walls of this building. I assure you of that, sir."  
  
Sloane carefully scrutinized Sydney, trying to decide whether he believed her. After a long moment, he finally tore his gaze away and nodded at her. "Actually, I do believe you, Sydney. I know how much you value the truth in your personal life, but I also know that you've come to understand that sometimes the truth must be sacrificed in the service of one's country."  
  
"Of course, sir," she vigorously nodded her agreement.  
  
"Apparently, that's a lesson that Mr. Vaughn has learned as well."  
  
"What do you mean by that?" she asked, feigning confusion.  
  
"Sydney, I hate to be the one to break this news to you," Sloane began, his voice dripping with false sincerity, "but Michael Vaughn does not work for a law firm. He's a senior officer at the CIA."  
  
"What?" Sydney mustered as much shock as she could as she sank down into one of the chairs in front of Sloane's desk and actively avoided the urge to vomit as he rose from his own chair and walked around his desk to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. "That's impossible."  
  
"I'm afraid not, Sydney. Once we learned of Mr. Vaughn's identity, we ran a background check and discovered that his employer is listed as the Department of State."  
  
"Well, the Department of State isn't the CIA," she shook her head.  
  
"No, it's not, but the agency typically uses the Departments of State, Agriculture, the Interior, and so forth, as covers for their agents. As we did more checking, we learned that Agent Vaughn completed his clandestine service training in December of 1994."  
  
"But I've seen the pictures of his graduation from Georgetown," she argued.   
  
"Not everything that Agent Vaughn has told you has been a lie. He did actually go to law school, but immediately after his graduation, he began CST. The CIA has been his only employer ever since then. I'm sorry that he lied to you."  
  
"Well maybe he did, but it's not as if I've exactly been truthful with him," she rationalized. "Besides, there are worse lies that he could have told me. I mean, if he's CIA, there's no reason why I have to lie to him about who I'm really working for, right?" she innocently asked. She bit back the urge to laugh at the brief look of horror that flashed across Sloane's face.  
  
"I doubt that Agent Vaughn's clearance is high enough for him to be aware of our division, Sydney. He's a ranking officer, but only the most senior officers have knowledge of the agency's black ops divisions. If you were actually to continue seeing Agent Vaughn, you still wouldn't be able to tell him anything about SD-6."  
  
Sydney's heart quickly jumped at Sloane's words. If she were to *continue* to see Vaughn. Did that mean that he was still alive? That Sloane hadn't yet taken steps to remove him as a threat to SD-6? She cautiously dared to let herself hope for the best while maintaining her innocent facade.  
  
"Of course, sir. You're right. I can't tell Michael anything."  
  
"Sydney, I have to say that I'm somewhat surprised that you're even considering the possibility of remaining involved with Agent Vaughn," Sloane said, giving her a slightly disapproving look. "I understand that you may be infatuated with him, but I should remind you that he's been deceiving you for the entire length of time that you've been together."  
  
"And I've been deceiving him too," Sydney gently reminded him.  
  
"Yes, of course," Sloane acknowledged, "but given your parents' marriage, considering the way that your mother deceived your father for so many years, I would imagine that the last thing you'd ever want was to find yourself in a similar type of relationship."  
  
"Well no," she admitted, "but I'm not spying on Michael, and he's obviously not spying on me if he's not even aware of SD-6's existence. And besides, there's no reason for either of us to spy on the other, because we're working for the same side, right?"  
  
"Yes. Yes, of course, you are," Sloane quickly replied. "And now that you mention it, there actually might be certain advantages to your being involved with Agent Vaughn," he speculated, his mind already entertaining the possibility that perhaps Sydney's relationship with Michael Vaughn could provide him with a means of keeping tabs on the CIA's operations.   
  
"Yes, actually the more that I think about it, this could be a good thing, assuming, of course, that you don't make the mistake of revealing too much to him."  
  
"I wouldn't dream of it, sir," she assured him. "As far as I'm concerned, everything that I know pertaining to SD-6 is strictly classified."  
  
"Good. Discretion is of the utmost importance here," Sloane cautioned her.  
  
"Absolutely, sir," she nodded. "Now that we understand each other, I'm glad that we had this conversation," she smiled as she rose from her chair and turned to leave.  
  
"I am too, but Sydney?"  
  
"Yes?" she asked as she turned around in his doorway.  
  
"I do sincerely hope that in the future, you'll make more of an attempt to be honest with me. I understand your reluctance to discuss your private life with me, but your lack of honesty could have had devastating consequences had we not discussed the situation. *Tragic* consequences," he underscored.   
  
The subtle hint of menace in his voice threw Sydney for a loop and brought reality crashing back down on her. She suddenly realized that even if Vaughn was safe for the moment, there was no guarantee that he would remain that way until the Alliance was toppled.   
  
"I'll make every effort to keep you informed about my personal life in the future," she lied, trying not to choke on the words as she placated him.  
  
"See to it that you do. Goodnight, Sydney."   
  
Sloane watched as Sydney walked away from his office and he evaluated a change in strategy. He had gleaned much insight during his short conversation with Sydney and their chat had been most illuminating. Sydney's attempts to downplay Michael Vaughn's duplicity were proof that she was in love with him, and he knew from personal experience that there was almost nothing that a woman wouldn't do for the man she loved. So he was fully prepared to take advantage of this unexpectedly fortuitous development. He knew that he needed a means to keep Sydney in line and he now had the perfect weapon at his disposal.  
  
He was already celebrating his good luck as he picked up his phone, dialed a number and waited impatiently for the recipient of his call to answer.  
  
"Agent Bridges, this is Director Sloane. I want you to abort your current operation . . . Yes, I'm aware of that, but my plans have changed. Michael Vaughn is not to be harmed, are we clear on that? No, I don't. What exactly do you mean that it's too late?"  
  
*****  
  
As Sydney drove away from the Credit Dauphine building, she soon realized that she felt more sick and anxious now than she did when she arrived. Her initial optimism that Sloane hadn't killed Vaughn began to vanish as she remembered that Sloane was a much more skilled liar than she was. What if he had merely been humoring her in an attempt to make her believe that Vaughn was safe? Or what if he was simply playing with her emotions? And even if he he now had no intention of hurting Vaughn, the mere fact that he knew about their relationship threatened to destroy all the plans for the takedown of the Alliance. Suddenly, the two weeks remaining until the takedown seemed like an eternity, and the uncertainty of what would happen in the meantime was beginning to eat away at her.   
  
She pulled over to the side of the road, picked up her phone and dialed Vaughn's number, pounding her steering wheel in frustration when she got his voice mail yet again. She tried to call him a few more times and grew increasingly distressed at her inability to reach him. After the seventh attempt, she peeled back out into traffic and headed for the ops center at breakneck speed.  
  
Once she arrived, she hurried down the hallway and strode into the rotunda, making a beeline for Weiss's desk. He was mid-conversation on the phone when he looked up and saw the serious expression on Sydney's face.  
  
"Hey, Jennings, I'm going to have to get back to you later, okay? Yeah yeah, I'll call you back in an hour or so. Alright." He hung up the phone and quickly stood up, placing a gentle hand on Sydney's forearm. "Sydney, what's wrong?"  
  
"It's Vaughn," she said in a low, urgent whisper, trying not to draw the attention of the agents around them.  
  
"What about Vaughn?"  
  
"Sloane knows about him. He knows about our relationship."  
  
"What?!" Weiss exclaimed before lowering his voice. "What do you mean, he knows? What does he know? How did he find out?"  
  
"He was having me followed," Sydney explained. "He has pictures of the two of us together."  
  
"How could he have gotten a hold of pictures of the two of you together? Where were you? Was the warehouse compromised?" Weiss asked, his questions tumbling out one after the other.  
  
"No, we were at the pier."  
  
"What?! How could the two of you be so stupid when you know that you're not supposed to be seen in public together."  
  
"We've had tons of meets in public, Weiss. You know that," Sydney defensively responded as her voice rose in anger. The last thing she needed right now was a lecture about her and Vaughn's inappropriate behavior. "Car washes, cafŽs, driving ranges, we've met in public a thousand times and nothing bad has ever happened until now. And it's not like we intended to meet each other; we ran into each other by accident."  
  
"Then both of you should have kept walking and pretended that you didn't know each other," Weiss admonished as Sydney stared back at him in anger.  
  
"Don't you dare lecture me, Weiss," she hissed. "That is the last thing that I need right now."  
  
Weiss could see the anger in her eyes quickly give way to fear and he was instantly filled with regret and compassion for her. "Hey, you're right, he said apologetically. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm just -- I'm freaking out right now," he admitted.  
  
"Yeah, me too," Sydney said softly. "I'm sorry, Weiss. I didn't mean to be a bitch. I'm just really scared, and I came to ask you if you've heard from Vaughn."  
  
"No. He didn't call you when he got to D.C.?" Weiss asked with surprise.   
  
"No, and I've been trying to call him for the past two and a half hours. He's not answering his phone."  
  
"Mike never turns his phone off," Weiss frowned, unknowingly confirming Sydney's worst fears.  
  
"I know. Can't you -- is there any way that you can call Langley and find out whether he's been in tough with someone there? Maybe someone has seen him or knows where he is," she hopefully suggested.  
  
"Yeah, good idea," Weiss mumbled as he pressed a button on his phone. "Yes, this is Agent Eric Weiss in L.A., Voice ID number Tango Delta 3758. I need to speak with Agent Thomas Carter. Is he available? Thanks." Sydney anxiously stared at Weiss as he ran his fingers through his hair and let out a shaky breath.   
  
"Tommy, hey. It's Eric Weiss. Yeah, yeah, I'm good. Yeah, I *am* surprised to find you there so late. Listen, you haven't by any chance heard from Mike Vaughn yet, have you? No?" he frowned. "Yeah, I know he wasn't scheduled to be in the office until tomorrow, but I just thought that maybe he might have checked in or called you to go out for drinks or something. Huh? No. No, I'm pretty sure that he's not out with a woman right now," Weiss weakly laughed as he shot Sydney an apologetic look.  
  
"Okay, yeah. Well, if you hear from him, can you ask him to call me or Mountaineer immediately. Yeah, Mountaineer, like the team from West Virginia. Yes, he'll know what that means," Weiss sighed. "Alright, thanks man. You too. Bye."  
  
Weiss hung up the phone and turned to Sydney. "Listen, Vaughn hasn't checked in with anyone at Langley yet, and no one's expecting to see him until tomorrow morning. But that doesn't necessarily mean that -- "  
  
"Yes it does," Sydney cut him off. "Sloane knows and Vaughn's not answering his cellphone. Something is wrong; I can feel it. I'm going back to find out what Sloane did to him," she declared as she whipped around to head back in the direction of the parking garage. She spun back around when Weiss grabbed her forearm.  
  
"What?" she impatiently asked.  
  
"Sydney, you can't just go talk to Sloane! And what do you mean that you're going *back* there? Sydney, please, please tell me that you did not confront Sloane before you came here."  
  
Weiss sighed in exasperation when she answered him by stubbornly jutting out her chin.  
  
"Are you crazy, Sydney? He could have taken you into custody or killed you, and how would I ever explain that to Vaughn?"  
  
"How would you explain that to Vaughn?" she asked, her voice growing louder with each increasingly hysterical syllable. "Weiss, there many not be anything to explain to him. He could be *dead* right now," she said almost choking on the word.  
  
"Or, his phone could simply be dead or maybe he forgot to take it with him wherever he went. Sydney, look, I know that neither of those possibilities seems especially likely, but we can't allow ourselves to assume the worst and we can't afford to be reckless either. Look, don't head off to SD-6 right now. Stay here with me while I call his mom's house, okay?"  
  
"Okay," she relented. "Um, Vaughn said that Elise was going to pick him up from the airport and then they were going to go dinner," she absently remembered.   
  
"Then he's probably with her right now," Weiss said with a reassuring smile. Just as he turned to call Elise, his phone rang.   
  
"Hello? Tommy. Hi again. Did you hear from Mike?" His hopeful expression matched Sydney's before it gave way to a panicked frown. "You what? When? Is there confirmation of that?"  
  
As soon as Sydney heard the word "confirmation," she felt as if she had been punched in the gut and she sank down into the chair next to Eric's desk.  
  
"Alright, just keep me updated. Call me the minute you find out anything else. Yeah, thanks."  
  
Eric hung up the phone and glanced over at Sydney, feeling a dull ache inside his chest when he saw the defeated and anguished expression on her face.  
  
"Sydney?" he gently asked. When she didn't respond, he knelt in front of her and placed his hand on her knee and she looked back at him with tear-filled eyes.  
  
"Sydney, there's been an accident," he nervously began. "The agent that I spoke to, Agent Carter, is a friend of mine and Michael's, and he said that the agency just received word about a car accident near Great Falls." Weiss paused for a moment and swallowed hard, not even sure that Sydney was hearing his words given her current state. "There's no definitive word yet, but the car was registered to Elise."  
  
When a look of pained shock briefly registered in Sydney's eyes, Weiss was sure that she had heard him, and he regretfully began to wish that she hadn't.  
  
*****  
  
The minute that Vaughn awoke, the first thing that he became conscious of was the intense, throbbing pain in his head, which felt as if someone was rhythmically pounding him in the temples with a sledgehammer. He groaned and slowly opened his eyes, squinting as they adjusted to the dim orange light filling the room. When he stared up at the popcorn ceiling, he fuzzily realized that he had no idea where he was and that nothing about the room seemed familiar. Despite his vague discomfort about that fact, he was about to close his eyes again and give into sleep's seductive temptation again when he sensed the presence of another person in the room. He abruptly sat up in the bed and groaned once again as his head throbbed and seemingly every muscle in his body screamed in protest.   
  
"Perhaps you should lie back down," suggested a voice from the corner of the room.  
  
"Now you tell me," Vaughn groggily muttered as he rubbed the tense muscles in the back of his neck. "What are you doing here, Jack? And where the hell are we?"  
  
"Where we are is unimportant right now," Jack responded as he rose from his chair and peaked through the side of the thick navy curtains in the bedroom window.  
  
Vaughn arched a questioning eyebrow at Jack. "Okay. And you're here because . . .?"  
  
"What's the last thing you remember before waking up?" Jack asked, ignoring his question.  
  
"Uh, I don't know," Vaughn murmured, rubbing his forehead and wincing from the pain it caused. "I remember having dinner with my mom and driving home," he said after thinking about it for a few moments.  
  
"You and your mother were involved in an accident on the way home. Do you have any recollection of that?" Jack anxiously asked.  
  
"An accident? No. But I guess that would explain why I feel like sh*t right now, huh?" he asked, making Jack smile slightly. "So, um, how bad was this -- wait a minute, where's my mom?" he frantically asked. "Is she okay?"  
  
"Vaughn, calm down. Your mother is fine. She's resting comfortably in the next room. She barely had a scratch on her. She's fine," Jack repeated.  
  
Vaughn was momentarily pacified by Jack's assurances until he shook his head in disbelief. "No, if she were fine, she'd be in here right now, fussing and hovering over me. I know my mother, Jack, and she wouldn't be resting comfortably while I was hurt. So what are you not telling me?" he suspiciously asked.  
  
"Vaughn, she's fine. Initially, she was understandably agitated and concerned about your condition, but I managed to calm her down."  
  
"And how did you do that?" Vaughn asked, his suspicion growing when he noticed Jack avoiding his gaze.  
  
"I gave her a mild sedative."  
  
"You what?! You drugged my mother?" Vaughn incredulously asked.  
  
"I did not drug her," Jack sighed, as if he was explaining himself to a child. "I merely gave her something to calm her nerves and help her rest. Besides, I needed to find a way to keep her from hovering over you long enough so that you and I could talk when you woke up," Jack said as he dragged his chair from the corner of the room over to the bed.  
  
"Talk about what?" Vaughn nervously queried.  
  
"About the accident. About why you're here."  
  
"What about the accident? And how did *you* find out about the accident? Sydney said that you were supposed to be in Singapore this week."  
  
"I was. I am. The agency is taking care of my cover. And I didn't *find out* about the accident. I staged it."  
  
Vaughn simply stared at Jack, too stunned to respond to his confession.  
  
"The accident was no accident, Vaughn. It was staged to fake your death -- and your mother's."  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"Because four days ago, Sloane became aware of your identity and your relationship with Sydney."  
  
Vaughn immediately felt all of the blood drain from his face and bent his head forward in a futile effort to prevent the dizziness that was taking a hold of his body in reaction to Jack's news. "How is that even poss -- "  
  
"Sloane was having Sydney followed for an undetermined length of time," Jack explained. "I'm not sure if she told you or not, but in recent months, Sloane has taken an increased interest in her personal life. Obviously, she lied to him to hide her relationship with you, but that wasn't enough to quell Arvin's suspicions, and he assigned an agent to keep tabs on her."  
  
"And you knew about this the whole time, but didn't tell her?"  
  
"I became aware of the situation by accident a few weeks ago. One night, as I was leaving Sydney's apartment, I noticed a suspicious car sitting at the end of her block. I recognized the man inside as Agent Sean Bridges. He's a fairly low level agent at SD-6, and I'm sure that Arvin bought his cooperation by tempting him with the possibility of advancing through the agency's ranks on a fast track.  
  
"Anyway, I knew that I couldn't ask SD-6 or the CIA to investigate why Bridges was following Sydney, so I hired a detective to track his movements. Last Friday, my guy took pictures of Bridges as he was taking pictures of you and Sydney at the Santa Monica pier."  
  
"Sh*t." Vaughn rubbed his eyes as the enormity of the situation hit him. If Sydney had been followed for the last few weeks, who knew how much this Agent Bridges -- and by extension, Sloane -- had learned about their relationship in that time.  
  
"Jack," he began in a low voice, trying not to let the older man see how panicked he was inside, "where is Sydney now? Is she -- "  
  
"Sydney's fine. She was at the ops center with Weiss a couple of hours earlier, but I instructed him to take her to a safe house for the night. He's taking care of her, Vaughn," Jack assured him.  
  
"He and what army?" Vaughn cried. "And what makes you think that she's safe from Sloane? If he knows about us, there's no telling what else he knows. What if he's found out that she's working for the CIA?"  
  
"I'm not sure what Sloane knows right now," Jack acknowledged, "but I don't think that Sydney's in any danger at the moment. For one thing, Weiss said that she confronted Sloane earlier this evening, when she became aware that he had evidence of her relationship with you."  
  
"She went to SD-6? Is she crazy? Why would she do something like that?"  
  
"I don't know and I couldn't begin to tell you, but all that matters is that she made it out of there safely, and for the time being, I don't believe that Arvin has any intention of harming her."  
  
"How can you say that, Jack?" Vaughn distrustfully asked.  
  
"Because all of his actions so far have indicated a desire to protect Sydney to some extent. Sloane has kept both SD-6 and Alliance security sections out of the loop thus far. The fact that Sloane would ask Agent Bridges to keep tabs on Sydney as opposed to alerting Security Section suggests that he's reluctant to reveal his suspicions about her to the Alliance."  
  
"Why would that be the case?"  
  
"I'm not sure," Jack admitted, "but Sloane has always had an odd fascination with Sydney -- recruiting her into SD-6 behind my back, giving her extravagant gifts when she was young, 'filling in' for me as he puts it when I wasn't a presence in Sydney's life. He's always been so inexplicably interested in her and her life that I don't think she's in any danger from him -- yet."  
  
"Yet?"   
  
"Well, I certainly don't think that it's out of the realm of possibility that at some point, Sloane may become a threat to Sydney, but if the destruction of SD-6 takes place as scheduled, that shouldn't become an issue."  
  
"Do you really think that things can go forward as planned?" Vaughn wondered.  
  
"They have to, Vaughn. We certainly can't push the plans up, because as you know, not all the pieces are in place yet. And even if we could move the date up, I wouldn't want to have to be the one to explain to Director Woolsy why that's necessary. Would you?" he pointedly asked.  
  
"No," Vaughn muttered. He knew he'd be out of a job if the CIA's director knew that he had almost singlehandedly jeopardized a multi-national, joint intelligence agency effort to topple the Alliance. "But if you can't explain that to him, how did you explain why it was necessary to fake my death?"  
  
"Given how intimately involved you've been in coordinating the attack plans, I convinced Woolsy and Deputy Director Butler that it was a smart preventative measure to put you underground for a while. After they considered your relationship with Sydney and the problems that could arise if Sloane found out about it, they agreed with me."  
  
"They know about me and Sydney?" Vaughn worriedly asked.  
  
"Well, it's not as if the two of you have been adept at hiding your feelings for each other," Jack scoffed. "And when I spoke with them about my plan, I confirmed what's been whispered about for more than a year. Of course, I didn't tell them that the two of you were foolish enough to be caught together, and I have no intention of letting them find out that Sloane actually *is* aware of your relationship. But it was necessary for me to tell them some semblance of the truth in order to get the authorization to fake your death."  
  
"Jack, this sounds like a bad movie," Vaughn irritably sighed as he gingerly stood up from the bed. He paused for a moment to let his aching muscles adjust to his new position and walked over to the mirror on the wall. He was shocked to see his face covered in angry reddish-purple bruises.  
  
"Damn. I look like hell."  
  
"I never imagined you as the vain type," Jack bemusedly remarked before Vaughn turned around and fixed him with a serious look.  
  
"So has Sloane put a hit out on me?" he apprehensively asked.  
  
"Not that I'm aware of, although I doubt that he'd tell me if he had. But I figured that rather than wait for him to make his next move, it would be smarter to take that option off of the table. Obviously, he can't kill a man who's already dead."  
  
"Won't it seem a little convenient that I 'died' right after he found out about me?"  
  
"Perhaps. But there are witnesses from Gianni's Ristorante who saw you and your mother drink two bottles of wine and won't be at all surprised that you lost control of your car given your level of intoxication."  
  
Vaughn regarded Jack with a mixture of admiration and fear at his ability to spin a cover story. "It was a two car accident, though. Someone hit us. I remember that."  
  
"According to the Virginia Department of Transportation and the highway patrol, it was a one car accident that claimed your life and your mother's."  
  
"My mom," Vaughn murmured as the realization struck him. "What about her job?"  
  
"The French minister of trade was briefed so he wouldn't make arrangements to replace your mother within the next three weeks or so, but he's the only person who's been apprised of what's going on. I didn't feel that it was safe to tell anyone else."  
  
"So is there anything that you *haven't* taken care of?" Vaughn wryly asked.  
  
"No. I'm nothing if not thorough. Ever since Sydney admitted to me that the two of you were involved with each other, I've had contingency plans in place in the even that it became necessary to place either or both of you out of Sloane's reach."  
  
"Why?" Vaughn asked. "I mean, I understand why you'd do that for Sydney -- God knows that I've formulated my share of contingency plans in anticipation of the same kind of situation -- but why would you go to those lengths for me?"  
  
"Because my daughter loves you, Vaughn," Jack matter-of-factly replied. "She already lost one man she loved to Arvin Sloane, and I swore that I wouldn't allow her to lose another one."   
  
"Well, I'm not really sure what to say, other than thank you, Jack."  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
The two men nodded at each other in appreciation of the roles that they each played in Sydney's life, and Jack was just about to speak again when he was interrupted by the sound of the room's door opening. He quickly drew his gun but relaxed when he realized that it was only Elise Vaughn standing in the doorway.  
  
Elise took a long look at the gun before turning her attention to the man holding it.  
  
"Well, it's nice to see you again, too, Jack."  
  
TBC . . . 


	36. Not So Secret Anymore

A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks for being so patient waiting for this chapter, and thank you even more for all the really nice reviews. You guys make my day!  
  
Chapter 36: "Not So Secret Anymore"  
  
Weiss filled a mug with steaming water and absently watched as the water slowly turned reddish-brown from the bag of tea steeping inside of it. He had been alone in the kitchen for the past ten minutes, making tea he was sure that Sydney wouldn't drink, but being there was better than the alternative -- being out in the living room with Sydney, where he felt as useful as a box of rocks. It had been hours since Jack Bristow advised him to take Sydney to a safe house two hours outside of L.A., and even longer since he received confirmation that the accident in Virginia had claimed Vaughn and Elise's lives. In the entire time since then, Sydney hadn't said a word. He knew that she wasn't quite in a catatonic state, but she was so eerily quiet that she was actually starting to scare him, and he had no idea of how to reach her. He knew that he was going to have to find a way, however, because she needed him now. Truth be told, he needed her just as much, because he wasn't prepared to deal with the reality of his best friend being dead.  
  
He leaned his elbows onto the kitchen counter and buried his face in his hands, as he tried in vain to convince himself that the whole night had been merely a bad dream. Shortly after Tommy informed him of the accident, he called back with the devastating news that the accident had been fatal. Ever since then, Weiss had been trying to make sense of the situation. By all accounts, the accident sounded like it actually had been an accident, but at the same time, it all seemed a little too coincidental. He was almost positive that Sloane had ordered someone to kill Vaughn, and if that was the case, there was no telling what kind of danger Sydney might be in. There was a whole team back at headquarters assessing the situation, but in the meantime, he could do nothing but wait to hear from Jack and Devlin and the wait was driving him crazy.  
  
He sighed as he picked up the mug and some sugar packets and walked into the living room. Sydney was sitting in an overstuffed chair, her knees tucked to her chest, when Weiss set the mug down in front of her.  
  
"It's tea," he offered as he took a seat on the couch next to the chair. He was surprised and caught off guard when she looked at him and spoke for the first time in hours.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"You're welcome. I know it's not much, but I thought -- "  
  
"No, I appreciate it. How long do you think we'll be here?" she quietly asked.  
  
"I'm not sure. The agency's still investigating the accident and trying to figure out how much Sloane knows. They want to be sure that Sloane didn't cause the accident before they allow you to go back to work at SD-6."  
  
"Work?" she bitterly scoffed. "I'm not going back to work."  
  
"What? Syd, you know that you can't -- " Weiss cut himself off from telling her that she was in no frame of mind to make such an important decision right now. He knew that for the moment, at least, he needed to give her space and time to deal with her grief. Rational thinking could wait until later.  
  
She looked back at him defensively, bracing herself to hear all of the reasons why she had to go back to SD-6. She was grateful, however, when she realized that he wasn't going to lecture her right now.   
  
After a few moments of staring at each other and letting silent understanding pass between them, they lapsed into a deep silence, both of them unprepared and unwilling to contemplate how much their lives were going to be changed by Vaughn's absence from them.  
  
Sydney restlessly leaned forward to lift the mug from the coffee table, but froze when she caught a glimpse of her left hand. It seemed as if it had been ages ago, but when she got home earlier that evening, she slipped on her engagement ring, and she forgot to take it off before she left the house to confront Sloane. Had he noticed it, she wondered? Not that it mattered at this point, she bitterly reminded herself. She drew her hand back and simply stared at the diamond on her finger, remembering her shock when she first opened the ring box and saw it glittering back at her, remembering the nervously hopeful look on Vaughn's face when he asked her to marry him, remembering how it felt when he slipped the ring onto her finger. She covered her mouth with her hand as she choked back a sob and tears stung her eyes.  
  
"We were getting married," she whispered.  
  
"Did you say something?" Weiss asked as he snapped out of his contemplative state and focused his attention on her.  
  
"Vaughn and I were engaged."  
  
"What? Since when?" Weiss asked, wide-eyed.  
  
"Since my birthday. He surprised me by booking a room for us in Santa Monica and that night, he asked me to marry him and I said yes." She raised her hand to show him the ring and Weiss's mouth dropped when he saw it.  
  
"Mike never told me that you two were -- he never even mentioned that he was thinking of asking you to marry him."  
  
"He wanted to tell you," Sydney assured him. "He wanted you to be his best man, but we were waiting until SD-6 was gone to tell everyone, because we thought it would be safer that way. Please don't be mad at him for not telling you," she pleaded.  
  
"Sydney, of course I'm not mad. I just -- I wish that I would have known. I can't even imagine how excited he must have been when you said yes. I swear, he had a thing for you from the first day he met you. A week after you started working with us, I had to remind him that he had a girlfriend," he chuckled lightly. "He was so crazy about you. You changed his life, his career, everything."  
  
"No, he changed *my* life," she murmured. "When I came to the CIA, I thought it would take a few weeks at the most to destroy SD-6 and after he made me realize how long it was really going to take, I felt so dejected, like I was going to spend the rest of my life trying to take those bastards down. But from the beginning, he believed in me and reassured me that I could do this. He had so much faith in me and always told me how amazing I was, and never let me lose sight of what we were working for. And he risked his career and his life for me and made me feel like I could accomplish anything as long as he was on my side, and I -- "  
  
Weiss swallowed uncomfortably as her voice broke off with choked tears. He had seen Sydney get emotional and cry before, but he had never seen her look so broken and devastated and it broke his heart.  
  
"I'm done with this," she abruptly announced as she angrily brushed the tears from her eyes. I'm not doing this without him. There's no point. It doesn't matter if I ever get out of this life if he's not here to share it with me," she vehemently shook her head.   
  
"Sydney, come on. That's not true and you know it. You *have* to finish this, because that's what Mike would want. You're so close to succeeding at everything that you and he worked so hard for, and he would be devastated if he knew that you were giving up now. Don't you want to do this for him? For yourself?" Weiss urged her.  
  
"Weiss, I'm tired of this," she said with a dejected sigh. I'm tired of fighting. The only thing that kept me going for this long was Vaughn and the promise of the life we were going to have when this was over. Without that, there's nothing left to fight for."  
  
"I don't buy that for a minute, Sydney," Weiss angrily replied. "One of the things that Vaughn loved the most about you was how much of a fighter you are, how resilient and determined you are. From the day that you walked into our office, he admired that about you. Don't prove him wrong. Don't give up on paying SD-6 back for everything that they've taken from you."  
  
"But I don't know how to do this without him," she quietly cried.  
  
Weiss placed his hand over hers and squeezed it tightly. "Neither do I, Sydney, but we'll find a way, I promise. We have to. We have to do that for him because he would want us to."   
  
Sydney nodded half-heartedly and tried to muster a tiny smile for Weiss through her tears. She appreciated his efforts to be strong for her, but deep inside, she knew that she would never find a way to go on without Vaughn. Even worse than that, she wasn't sure that she wanted to.  
  
***** Jack breathed a sigh of relief as he lowered his gun and placed it back in his shoulder holster. He didn't expecting anyone to find him, Vaughn and Elise where they were, but his instincts had taken over and caused him to draw his gun. As he straightened his suit jacket, Elise regarded him warily and he gave her an apologetic nod, hoping that he hadn't scared her too terribly.  
  
Vaughn noted both of their expressions and anxiously looked back and forth between Jack and his mother, as he waited for some kind of explanation. "You two already know each other?" he bewilderedly asked when no explanation was forthcoming.  
  
"No, not yet," Elise said with exaggerated sweetness. "We were just starting to get to know each other when Jack offered me a glass of water, and that's the last thing I remember before I woke up just now. I do know, however, that I would never let myself fall asleep while my only child was unconscious and suffering from a head injury, so I was hoping that perhaps Jack could provide some insight as to how that might have happened."  
  
Jack was stunned and taken aback by the challenging tone in Elise's voice. He didn't know anything about Elise Vaughn, but ever since he met Vaughn and learned of the connection between their families, he imagined that Elise was nothing more than a mild-mannered, quiet Frenchwoman. When she first regained consciousness after the accident, she was scared and concerned about Vaughn's condition, so he was just beginning to get a glimpse of the assertive, strong-willed woman behind the cool, patrician facade.  
  
"I, uh . . . I gave you a sedative," Jack admitted. "I thought that it would calm you, and you needed to rest after the accident."  
  
"I needed to rest?" Elise asked disbelievingly. "I don't recall being tired, and I was obviously concerned about my son and wanted to be with him when he woke up," she glared at Jack before turning her attention to Vaughn and wrinkling her nose. "Sweetheart, you look like hell."   
  
Jack watched as Elise set a bottle of peroxide and some gauze cloths down onto the night-stand next to the bed, then cleared his throat before speaking again.  
  
"Yes, I imagined that you would want to be with Michael, Mrs. Vaughn, but I needed to speak with him privately once he awoke, and I wasn't sure that I could trust you to stay out of the way."  
  
"You didn't think that you could trust me?" Elise scoffed as she poured peroxide onto one of the cloths and began to clean the abrasions on Vaughn's face. "Excuse me, Mr. Bristow, but frankly, I don't think that I'm the one worthy of mistrust here. If you don't mind, now that Michael is awake, I'd appreciate an explanation of where we are what we -- and you -- are doing here."  
  
Ignoring the unpleasant sting of the peroxide in his cuts and temporarily forgetting about their precarious situation, Vaughn watched his mother and Jack with interest, just barely managing to hide a knowing smirk. He recognized his mother's tone from countless scoldings he received when he was younger and the almost chastened look on Jack's face reminded him of the look he used to see on his father's face whenever he'd drawn his wife's wrath. Vaughn knew how intimidating his mother could be, but he never would have expected her scare tactics to work on Jack Bristow.  
  
Jack glanced at Vaughn for a moment, his face betraying the silent debate he was having with himself about how much to divulge to Vaughn while Elise was in the room.  
  
"For the moment, we're in a safe house just outside of Virginia Beach, but this was merely a temporary stop until you regained consciousness. In a few hours, the two of you will be transported to Langley Air Force Base, and then you'll be flown to Lyon."  
  
"We're going to France?" Vaughn raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Yes. I figured that the two of you could easily blend in there for the next two weeks. I thought about placing you somewhere more rural and out of the way, but -- "  
  
"We're less likely to draw attention in a big city," Vaughn finished.  
  
"Exactly," Jack nodded. "The agency is setting up an apartment for you in Lyon and there'll be a security team in place to assure your safety."  
  
Vaughn nodded, but Jack was more interested in Elise's non-reaction to his news. "I take it that this is acceptable to you?" he asked. "You don't seem very surprised by any of this."  
  
Elise rolled her eyes slightly in response. "My husband was a spy, Mr. Bristow. There really isn't much that surprises me anymore. I've certainly never had my death faked before, but I know how easily -- and successfully -- the company can make someone disappear when it needs to. If this is what we have to do, this is what we have to do," she shrugged. "Do you think that this man -- Arvin Sloane -- do you think that he'll try to find us?"   
  
"Not if he genuinely believes that the two of you were killed in the accident, which is what I'm hoping for, obviously. Whether he believes it, however, depends on Sydney's ability to sell her grief to him."  
  
Vaughn winced as Elise continued to clean his wounds, and glanced over at Jack. "What did Sydney say when you told her about all of this?"  
  
Jack uncomfortably shifted his weight from one foot to the other and looked down at the floor. As the seconds passed and Jack's silence grew more conspicuous, Elise stopped attending to Vaughn as they both waited for his answer.  
  
"You *did* tell her, didn't you, Jack?" Vaughn asked.  
  
"I haven't spoken with Sydney yet."  
  
"So she doesn't know that you staged the accident? Elise asked, with a horrified expression on her face. "She thinks that Michael is really dead?"  
  
"Yes, she does, and for the time being, we need for her to continue believing that."  
  
"Are you out of your mind?" Vaughn asked in disbelief as he abruptly stood and took a step toward Jack. "You can't let her go on believing that I'm dead."  
  
"I can, and I will," Jack firmly responded. "I didn't make this decision lightly, Vaughn, but the fact of the matter is that if Sloane has pictures of you, it's not going to be difficult for him to find out that you're CIA, and if he becomes aware of your affiliation with the agency, it won't be a great leap for him to surmise that perhaps Sydney's involvement with the CIA is more extensive than the mere fact of her relationship with you. Believe me, Vaughn, I've put a great deal of thought into my plan, and Sydney's reactions need to be as realistic as possible if we're going to have any hope of keeping Sloane in the dark about her status as a double agent."  
  
"Her reactions? Jack, this is *Sydney* that we're talking about, and you and I both know that she acts first and considers the consequences later. If she thinks I'm dead, if she thinks that Sloane had me killed, she won't hesitate to confront him again. Forget the takedown, she could be risking her life if she goes back to SD-6."  
  
"Are you suggesting that my daughter is reckless?"  
  
"No, she's not reckless, but she's headstrong and impetuous and fearless. I love all of those things about her, but those are the same things that could get her killed."  
  
"I don't disagree, but believe that we can trust her to keep her wits about her, at least until SD-6 is destroyed. She's worked too hard and for too long to jeopardize the op now when the end is so close."  
  
"Jack, if she thinks that Sloane had me killed, she's not going to care about the op or anything else. She'll feel like she has nothing to lose by confronting him again."  
  
"Please don't take this the wrong way, Vaughn," Jack condescendingly began, "but perhaps you're slightly overestimating your importance in Sydney's life."  
  
"I don't think I am," Vaughn replied between clenched teeth.  
  
Elise watched Jack and Vaughn's tense exchange with uneasy fascination, wondering how their seeming power struggle would play out. Both men's backs were ramrod straight with tension and she could almost feel the quiet, controlled anger emanating from both of them.  
  
"Call her and tell her the truth, Jack," Vaughn quietly ordered.  
  
"I intend to do no such thing."  
  
"Jack, I'm serious. She can't go through this again."  
  
"This is not the same situation as with Danny, surely you must realize that," Jack huffed.  
  
"It is the same."  
  
"It's really not."  
  
"*Yes,* it is, because . . ." Vaughn sighed and rubbed his aching forehead as he realized that there was only one way he was going to be able to convince Jack to tell Sydney that he was alive. "It is the same, because Sydney and I are engaged," he said softly.  
  
The two men simply stared at each other for several tense moments until Elise gasped and they both turned their attention to her.  
  
"You and Sydney are engaged to be married?" Elise asked in wide-eyed surprise. "Since when?"  
  
"Since April, Mom," Vaughn admitted. "When I flew out here and surprised Sydney for her birthday, I asked her to marry me and she said yes. We wanted to tell you, but we were keeping it a secret until the SD-6 operation was over. Sydney was fine with the idea of me telling you on my own, but I wanted her to be with me when you found out. That's why I was so insistent about you coming to L.A. in July -- that's when we were going to tell you. We were going to tell you too, obviously," Vaughn said as he turned back towards Jack.  
  
"Oh my goodness," Elise murmured as she placed a hand over her mouth. "I . . . I'm speechless."  
  
"Well, that's a first," Vaughn smiled at her.  
  
"Oh, sweetheart. Congratulations," she cried as she wrapped him in a tight hug. "That's the best news I've ever heard."  
  
"Thanks, Mom," he whispered as he hugged her back. He let out a sigh of relief that she wasn't upset with him for not telling her sooner. He should have known that she'd be so thrilled at the news that she would hardly care that he kept it from her for so long.  
  
When they broke their embrace, Vaughn turned back to Jack once more. "No hug from you?" he cracked. "I'm joking," he quickly said when Jack blankly stared at him in response. "I would have asked for your permission, but, uh, Sydney told me once that that didn't go over too well when Danny tried that."  
  
"Those were different circumstances. Things were much . . . they were different then."  
  
"I know they were," Vaughn agreed. "So, does that mean that I should have asked? Because, frankly, it's a little late for that now, and I don't think Sydney's going to give me the ring back."  
  
Jack couldn't help but smile in spite of himself. He wasn't sure whether to take Vaughn's ability to joke with him right now as a sign of Vaughn's refusal to be intimidated by him or as a sign of his complete mental illness.   
  
"I suppose congratulations are in order." Jack extended his hand and Vaughn shook it firmly.  
  
"Thanks, but actually, I'd just as soon skip the congratulations so you can call Sydney and tell her the truth. I know you're only trying to protect her, Jack, and I respect that, but she needs to know that I'm okay. She's a good actress and I have complete faith that she can fake the grieving girlfriend routine, but it would be cruel to let her go on believing that I'm dead."  
  
"I'll go call Weiss," Jack said with a slight nod. He left the room to make his phone call and Vaughn turned back to his mother, surprised to find her deep in thought with a troubled expression on her face.  
  
"Mom, are you okay? I know that tonight has been unreal. Do you need to rest or something?"  
  
"No, darling, I'm fine. I was just thinking."  
  
"About what?" Vaughn prompted.  
  
"About your father and how he would react to the news that you're getting married."  
  
"Do you think he'd be happy?"  
  
"Of course he would," she smile. "He'd be so excited about welcoming Sydney into the family. He would have loved her, you know."  
  
"Yeah, I know," he smiled back at her. "I told her once that he would have been incredibly impressed by her abilities as an agent."  
  
"No doubt, but I think he also would have liked her just for the kind of person she is, for the way that she obviously loves you very much."  
  
"I wish that they could have met each other," he softly acknowledged.  
  
"Me too. But on the day that you and Sydney get married, he'll be there. You'll feel his presence. We both will," she promised.  
  
Vaughn hugged her again and saw Jack reenter the room over her shoulder. "She wants to speak to you," Jack said, holding out the phone to him.  
  
"Is it safe?" Vaughn apprehensively asked.  
  
"As long as you keep it brief and don't tell her any details about where you are or where you're going."  
  
Vaughn nodded as he took the phone from Jack, and Elise smiled and patted his forearm before following Jack out of the room.  
  
"Would you like coffee, Jack?" Elise asked as they walked through the living room and into the kitchen.  
  
"Thank you," he nodded. "Did you have any idea that Sydney and Michael were so serious about each other?" He had seen the depth of Sydney's emotion when she first told him about her relationship with Vaughn, and Vaughn's concern for her had been evident at their impromptu dinner, but he hadn't contemplated that the two of them were prepared to spend the rest of their lives together. He wondered if perhaps he had missed a sign that Elise had been privy to.  
  
"Well, the fact that she snuck into his place in Virginia to visit him might have been a small clue," she wryly laughed as she filled a coffee pot with water.   
  
"In the all-too brief time that I spent with them, I could tell that they were very serious about each other, and after Sydney left, the difference in Michael's mood was like night and day. He missed her terribly, and he talked about her all the time, but he never even hinted that he was thinking of asking her to marry him."  
  
"You seemed to take the news well," Jack dryly observed.  
  
Elise finished fiddling with the coffee maker, then turned around to face Jack. "Why wouldn't I have reacted well to Michael's announcement?"  
  
"Well, I know that Sydney made you aware of her mother's role in your husband's death, and I think it would be understandable if you had reservations about her marrying your son."  
  
"I agree. It *would* be understandable, and I do have concerns about their decision to marry, but they're the typical concerns that any parent would have. They have nothing to do with your ex-wife."  
  
"I find that hard to fathom."  
  
"To be honest, so do I. I'm not going to lie to you, Jack. I was stunned when Sydney told me about the connection between your family and mine. It wasn't easy to hear about her mother, and for a brief moment, I allowed myself to entertain the possibility that her motives for being with Michael were less than pure.   
  
"But I watched her as she spoke to me. I saw her, saw the way that it was breaking her heart to tell me the truth, and the fear in her eyes that I would hate her. It was painfully obvious how much she loved my son, and whatever my personal feelings are about her mother, I won't let them affect my feelings about Sydney or her relationship with Michael. She makes him happy, and that's all I care about, so I hope that the two of them will have a long and happy marriage.  
  
"Besides, when two people really love each other, when they're meant to be together, there's nothing that can come between them. Not family, not friends, not even government agencies -- legitimate and otherwise," she softly smiled.  
  
"You sound as if you're speaking from personal experience."  
  
"I am. William and I didn't date for very long before we got married, and the CIA was not at all happy that he chose to marry a foreign national, especially after such a short courtship. It was during the height of the cold war, and the agency was obviously concerned that I may have been spying on him, and I -- oh God, I'm so sorry," she apologetically stammered. "I wasn't even thinking about what I was saying."  
  
"Don't apologize," Jack shook his head. "Your husband was simply a luckier and smarter man than I was."  
  
"Oh, I wouldn't say that. William was known to play the role of "fool in love" on a regular basis," she smiled. "Obviously, I wasn't a spy, but if I had been, the United States might be a territory of France right now," she laughed.   
  
Jack smiled slightly in response. A short while ago, he had been impressed by Elise's steeliness and obvious emotional strength, but now he found himself surprisingly charmed by her warmth and sense of humor.  
  
"Sydney was very impressed by you when she returned from Virginia, and now I see why. It would appear that the two of you have a mutual admiration society."  
  
Elise smiled back at him. "Perhaps we do. Sydney is a beautiful young woman. You must be very proud of her."  
  
"I am, although I take no credit for the kind of person that she's grown into."  
  
"Well, I'm sure that you deserve at least part of the credit. Children don't raise themselves, you know."  
  
"For all intents and purposes, Sydney did. In the years after my wife's supposed death, I too emotionally distant to be a good father to Sydney, and once it became clear that she was doing fine without my parental input, I think I gave up any pretense of trying. I figured that I'd be more of a detriment to her than anything else."  
  
"But it's obvious how much you love her," Elise pointed out. I mean, look at the lengths to which you've gone to protect her and her boyfriend. I think that maybe you're being too hard on yourself."  
  
"Maybe I'm not," Jack replied with a faint smile.  
  
Elise gave him a sympathetic look before she turned to remove the pot from the coffee maker. She poured two steaming cups of coffee and handed one to Jack.  
  
"I hope you won't take offense to this, Jack, but I'm beginning to wonder if guilt is a Bristow family trait," she smiled. "Is it genetic? Because I'd really hate for our grandchildren to flog themselves every time they steal a cookie from the cookie jar."  
  
Jack smiled in spite of himself as he stirred sugar into his tea. "If it is genetic, I think it only runs on my side of the family, so there's not much reason to -- "   
  
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he instantly regretted them, but Elise's momentary unease was quickly replaced by a conspiratorial smile.  
  
"You know, it just struck me -- we're going to have grandchildren in common one day. As you'll no doubt come to learn, I'm very excited by that prospect."  
  
"Having grandchildren?"  
  
She nodded. "Most of my friends have grandchildren, and I've always been so jealous of them, although I'm not sure why. Maybe I just miss having someone to spoil," she smiled.   
  
"I always feared that Michael would get too caught up in his career to settle down and have a family," she admitted. "And I was concerned that my husband's bloodlines would end with Michael. If he has a child, though, it will almost feel like a part of William will live on in a way. That probably sounds very schmaltzy," she sighed, embarrassed by her admission to an almost perfect stranger.   
  
"Not at all. It's perfectly understandable. Its strange, however, to think that his bloodlines are going to mix with those of the woman who killed him."  
  
"It is, but maybe it's God's way of finally righting the wrong that was committed when she killed him. I don't know," she sighed. "I'm not a strong believer in fate, but life makes you wonder sometimes. William and I weren't in any particular hurry to expand our family, but I always thought that it would be nice to have a daughter. And now I feel like I'm gaining one and she just happens to be the daughter of the woman who made it impossible for me to have another child with him," she realized, shaking her head at the irony.  
  
"Do you really think of Sydney as a daughter?" Jack asked with interest.  
  
"Well, I haven't spent that much time with her, but I liked her from the moment I met her, and I'm definitely looking forward to getting to know her better. I meant what I said before -- I think she's lovely, and she's going to be my son's wife, so yes, I already think of her like a daughter.   
  
"What?" she asked when she saw the slightly surprised expression on Jack's face.  
  
"It's just ironic. I was an only child and Sydney obviously never knew her mother's family, so I think she always longed for a sense of family. It's ironic that she finally found that in the family of one of her mother's victims."  
  
"Life is funny that way, isn't it? It takes twists and turns that you'd never expect. Like this one," she wryly laughed as she looked around the austere safe house. "I know that I gave you a hard time earlier, but I just want to say, Jack, that if it turns out that you saved my son's life tonight, I can't thank you enough for that."  
  
"Well, I'm not sure that I have saved his life. I'm not even sure that Sloane planned to make an attempt on his life, but the last time that Sloane tried to kill a man that Sydney loved, I was too late to prevent it. I didn't want to make the same mistake twice.  
  
"I *won't* make the same mistake twice," he vowed.  
  
***** Vaughn took a deep breath before he spoke, almost afraid that Sydney wouldn't really be on the other end of the line.  
  
"Syd?"  
  
"Vaughn," she breathed a teary sigh of relief. "Oh my God. Thank God you're alright. I thought . . . I was so scared that you -- "  
  
"Shhh. Sydney, it's okay," he assured her when he heard her softly crying. "I'm fine. I'm just a little bruised, that's all."  
  
"But it could have been so much worse. It still could be."  
  
"No, it will be fine. Your dad is on top of everything. It's actually a little scary how good he is at faking a death. It made me realize that if I ever get out of line, he could have me killed for real and do it without leaving a trace," he smiled.  
  
"Vaughn," Sydney laughed through her tears, "don't joke about that."  
  
"It got you to laugh, right? Seriously, your dad's not going to let anything happen to me or my mom."  
  
"How is your mom? She's okay, right?" she worriedly asked.  
  
"Yeah, she's fine. She barely had a scratch on her."  
  
"Good. She must think this is all so crazy -- as if my family wasn't already crazy enough," she muttered. "My mother kills her husband and my father fakes her death. She must be loving the Bristows right now."  
  
"One in particular. Syd, I should tell you that, um, she knows about our engagement. So does your dad."  
  
"They do? My dad didn't say anything about it when he spoke to me just now."  
  
"Yeah, I think he's still trying to process it, or convince himself that it's all a bad dream," he laughed.  
  
"What made you tell them? Did you say something while you were unconscious?"  
  
"Hey, I'm not the one who talks in my sleep," he reminded her. "No. I told them. I had to in order to convince your dad to call you and tell you that I was okay. He was a little reluctant to let you in on that secret at first, and don't be mad at him for that, okay?" he quickly added.  
  
"Wait, what are you saying? My father was going to let me believe for the next two weeks that you were dead?" Sydney asked in disbelief.  
  
"Syd, calm down. He just thought that your reaction to my death needed to be believable for Sloane's sake, and he's right about that. I argued that you were a good enough actress to pull that off even if you knew the truth and now I need you to prove me right. You can't let on to anyone other than Weiss that you know I'm alive."  
  
"I can do that," she sighed. "I'm just . . . Vaughn, the last few hours when I thought that you were dead were -- I can't even describe them. It was like reliving Danny's death all over again."  
  
"I know. That's why I begged your dad not to let you go through that again, and he eventually realized that I was right, so don't hold it against him, okay? He would do anything for you, Syd. Everything that he's done so far has been for you."  
  
"Are you running for president of the Jack Bristow fanclub or something?" she softly laughed.  
  
"I'm not sure that I'm qualified for that job, but I do respect him, and he and I have the same primary goal which is to keep you as safe as possible, so I understand where he's coming from, even if I don't always agree with his methods. That's why, I need you to promise me something."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Once my mom and I leave the country, there's not going to be anything that I can do to make sure that you're safe, so I need you to listen to your dad and do whatever he says. I know that you're not great at taking direction, but --"  
  
"Hey!" she protested.  
  
"Come on, Syd. It's true, you're not," Vaughn smiled, "but you need to be. There are only two more weeks until this is over, but now that Sloane has even more reason to be suspicious of you, you have to play this completely by the book. So whatever your dad and Kendall and Weiss tell you to do, you have to do it. Promise me that you will so I won't give myself an ulcer worrying about you."  
  
"I promise," she softly said, "but I need you to promise me that you're going to be careful too, Vaughn. I need you to come back to me," she urgently pleaded.  
  
"I will, and when I do, I'm taking you the hell away from all of this. I'm sorry that I let any of this happen. It was so stupid of me."  
  
"Vaughn, don't you dare blame yourself for this mess. I mean it. I don't want you spending the next two weeks beating yourself up for what happened. There's only one person to blame here, and it's not you, okay?"  
  
"Okay," he sighed just as Jack appeared in the doorway and pointed to his watch. "Syd, your dad is telling me to wrap this up, so I've got to go. Be careful, okay? I love you. I'll see you soon."  
  
"Not soon enough. I love you, too," she whispered.  
  
"Bye."  
  
Vaughn hung up the phone and pressed it to his forehead as he closed his eyes and said a silent prayer that she would be safe until he could hold her in his arms again.  
  
TBC . . . 


	37. Lyon

A/N: Bet you guys thought you'd never see this, huh? At long last, there's a new chapter, and I want to thank all of you for being so incredibly patient and for all your messages telling me how much you missed this story. I missed it too, and it's nice to finally post a new chapter. After such an extended period of not being able to write, however, I felt a little rusty, so hopefully this doesn't suck too much. It kind of spun off in a direction that I wasn't expecting, and I hope it's not too terribly fluffy. Also, there's a *cough* smuttier version, which can be read at: http://sd-1.com/boards/index.php?showtopic=21082&st=100&.  
  
Hope you enjoy, and thanks for all your support!  
  
Chapter 37: "Lyon"  
  
Vaughn let out a sigh of frustration as he set down the book he was reading -- or not reading, to be more accurate. After trying in vain to read the same page for the past hour, he finally resigned himself to the fact that he couldn't concentrate on the book at all. He stood up and stretched, wincing slightly as his muscles briefly groaned in protest. Although it had been ten days since the accident, the bruises along the left side of his body were still making their presence felt every time he moved.  
  
After the initial pain subsided, he moved over to the French doors leading to the balcony of the small apartment he and his mother had been sharing ever since Jack left them in Lyon. Through the door's windows, he watched the hustle and bustle along the busy street outside, and he wished that he was out among the people going home from work, shopping or having coffee at the many streetside cafes. Jack made the decision to hide Elise and Vaughn in France because he thought it would be easier for them to blend in there, but he warned them to keep a low profile, "just in case." That was why Elise had left the apartment only long enough to shop for food and other essentials, and Vaughn had barely set foot outside in the past ten days. To say he was going stir-crazy was, therefore, an understatement of epic proportions, and he would have given anything to be able to go for a run or even just to step out onto the balcony without drawing unnecessary attention to himself.  
  
As he looked out into the dusky evening, he realized that the frustration and mental claustrophobia of being stuck inside the small apartment was compounded by the fact that he missed Sydney more than he ever thought possible. Each morning he woke with a dull ache in his chest and it took all the energy he could muster to get out of bed and face another long day without her. He had been so morose that he was starting to wonder if he was on the verge of clinical depression, but his mother had smilingly assured him that he was simply lovesick. And though he never would have believed that it was possible to *physically* ache from missing someone so much, he was now a firm believer.   
  
Even so, the physical pain of his separation from Sydney was nothing compared to the toll it was taking on him mentally and emotionally. In the three days since he stopped taking the pain medication that usually made him fall fast asleep, he estimated that he had probably slept for a total of ten hours. Each night, he lay in bed wondering what Sydney was doing, wondering if she was safe, hoping that she didn't miss him so much that it made her lose sight of the challenge looming in front of her. The SD-6 raid was scheduled to take place in exactly two days, and the faster it approached, the more he worried about her.  
  
Thanks to a couple of short phone calls from Jack, Vaughn at least knew that Sydney was fine so far. After learning of Vaughn's "death" and seeing how devastated she appeared to be, Sloane had given her some time off to deal with her grief -- time that Sydney had actually spent at CIA headquarters with Jack, Weiss, Kendall, Agent Miles and the other agents coordinating the raid. Jack assured Vaughn that things were going according to plan and that Sydney was okay, and even though Vaughn believed him, it still wasn't enough to assuage his fears. So, in the final analysis, he found himself facing the knowledge that in forty-eight hours, his life would either end or finally, gloriously begin, depending on whether Sydney made it out of the Credit Dauphine building alive.  
  
*****  
  
Sydney closed the door to her hotel room and pushed her rolling suitcase into the corner before she flopped down onto the bed with a restless sigh. Three weeks ago, this would have been the absolute last place she expected to be a mere two days before the Alliance was expected to fall, but here she was. Everyone at CIA headquarters had been so busy planning and preparing for the raid that it never occurred to any of them that Sloane might disrupt their plans by sending her on a mission. Sure enough, however, that's exactly what he had done. When he called her into his office to give her the mission, she wanted to protest vehemently, but she knew that it would only make him suspicious. Despite the fact that she knew he was an evil bastard, he had been surprisingly understanding and kind when she told him about Vaughn's death, and he had given her almost an entire week off -- not knowing, of course, that she would spend that week plotting his downfall.   
  
In any event, when she finally returned to work, Sloane believed that it was in her best interests to get back to work to take her mind off of her grief. To that end, he assigned her this mission, and tomorrow, she was supposed to steal yet another Rambaldi artifact from the home of a wealthy collector, though she had absolutely no intention of doing so. Because her return flight wasn't scheduled until the day of the raid, Sloane would never know that she hadn't completed her mission. So essentially, for the next few days, she was on an SD-6 funded vacation, and she figured that was the least she was owed after giving the organization the last eight years of her life.  
  
It was that very sense of resentment that had initially angered about this mission. She couldn't believe that as much as she had looked forward to being a part of the raid -- and as difficult as it had been to convince Vaughn to *let* her be a part of it -- that she was actually going to be a whole world away from SD-6 when it finally happened. She was absolutely devastated at first by the unfortunate turn of events, but she realized at some point during the long flight over that she was actually okay with the idea of the raid taking place without her.   
  
Maybe, she mused, the almost two weeks she had spent without Vaughn had given her some much-needed perspective. Being apart from him, not knowing where he was or if he was safe, had helped her understand why he had been so adamant about keeping her away from the raid in the first place, so perhaps it wasn't a bad thing that she wouldn't be a part of it. Right now, the only thing she wanted was to be with him; at least this way, she knew for sure that she would actually live long enough to see him again, and that was more important than anything -- more important than finishing what she started almost two years ago, more important than seeing the look on Sloane's face when he was taken into custody, even more important than avenging Danny's death. She wanted all of those things, but not as much as she simply wanted to hold Vaughn in her arms and know that her long nightmare was over and that a new life was set to begin for her, one without secrets and lies. So the very minute that she received the call from her father telling her that the raid was successful, she was going to hop on the first flight back to L.A. and count the minutes until she was reunited with Vaughn.   
  
After a few minutes spent imagining their reunion, she sat up and looked at her watch, realizing that she'd forgotten to adjust it earlier for the time change. When she glanced at the digital clock next to the bed, she saw that it was almost eight o'clock, and even though her internal body clock was completely out of whack due to the time change, she was absolutely starving. She quickly hopped up from the bed and spent a few minutes freshening up before deciding to leave her hotel and get something to eat.  
  
An hour later, she sat at a charming outdoor cafe, enjoying both the balmy, summer air and the opportunity to watch all of the people walking by. Couples strolled along, hand in hand, and even though the sight of them made her miss Vaughn even more than she already did, Sydney smiled at how romantic it all seemed. She reminded herself for the millionth time that it wouldn't be long before she and Vaughn could walk down a street together, but that knowledge still wasn't enough to quell the intense longing that she felt for him.   
  
She dropped a few euros onto the table to pay for her meal and left the cafe, strolling down the street with no particular place to go, but not yet ready to go back to her empty hotel room where she would undoubtedly do nothing but think about how much she missed Vaughn. In actuality, however, she could scarcely think about anything else, and she was so deep in thought that she failed to notice the young boy speeding down the sidewalk on his bicycle until it was too late. He whizzed past her so fast that it knocked her off balance and she fell onto her backside in the middle of the sidewalk. Before she could regain either her breath or her bearings, she heard a concerned voice from behind her.  
  
"Mademoiselle, 


	38. Waiting

A/N: Thanks everyone for being so patient waiting for this chapter! I PROMISE it won't be as long of a wait for the next one.  
  
Chapter 38: "Waiting"  
  
Lyon, France  
  
Vaughn anxiously looked up as Sydney walked into the living room of his temporary apartment and handed him his cellphone. "What did your dad say?"  
  
"He doesn't think Sloane knew you were here in Lyon, but he thinks it's awfully coincidental that we ended up in the same city, so we need to be extra careful." She bit her lip as she paced back and forth in front of him.   
  
"What if he's right, Vaughn? Last night, it seemed like fate that we ran into each other, but what if it wasn't? What if Sloane found out you were here and he set this up?"   
  
"Then I'll have to be sure to thank him for one of the best nights of my life," Vaughn joked, unsuccessfully trying to coax a smile out of her. He immediately grew serious, however, when she shot him a dirty look.   
  
"Syd," he sighed, "I really doubt Sloane knows anything. Your father took every precaution to make sure Sloane couldn't find out I was alive, much less, where I've been hiding out. And I hate to ruin your image of him, but your dad's really good at making people disappear when he wants to," he said, unable to hold back a tiny smile.   
  
"Besides, even if Sloane did sent you here on purpose, there was no way for him to guarantee we'd run into each other last night. I decided to go for a walk on a total whim; Sloane didn't plan that. He *couldn't* have planned that," he reassured her, reaching for her hand and pulling her towards him.  
  
"Yeah, I guess you're right," she sighed as she sank down onto the couch next to him. "It's just that last night, finding you by accident seemed so romantic, but now, it's making me completely paranoid. What if Sloane sent me here because he thought I knew you were here and I'd draw you out of hiding? If that's what he was hoping for, our reunion played right into his hands."  
  
"Yeah, you're right," Vaughn nodded. "And what if he actually set this whole double agent thing in motion, so I'd be assigned as your handler and fall in love with you, just so he could eventually kill me?"  
  
"Vaughn," Sydney scolded when she saw his teasing smile, "you're not taking this seriously at all."  
  
"I *am* taking it seriously," he protested, "but if Sloane was trying to draw me out of hiding and trap us in a lie, it seems like he would have killed us last night, don't you think?"   
  
He reclined deeper into the sofa and pulled her back into his arms, softly kissing her forehead before speaking again. "Syd, I know you're worried that something's going to go wrong tomorrow, but you have to relax, okay? We can't control what's happening in L.A. or anywhere else. All we *can* control is what's happening with us, and now that you're here with me, I won't let anything happen to you. I promise."  
  
"It's not *me* that I'm worried about," she said, giving him a pointed look as she raised her head from his chest and smiling weakly at him. "I want to believe nothing bad is going to happen, but -- "  
  
"But you don't," he finished her sentence with a knowing smile.  
  
"I *can't*," she corrected him. "There's too much at stake, Vaughn, and the last thing we can afford to do is let down our guard like we did last night."  
  
"Are you saying you regret last night?"  
  
"What? No! No, that's not what I'm saying," she assured him. "I don't regret last night, and I don't regret being with you. I just wish we had been smarter about our reactions to seeing each other again, and maybe not gotten so carried away with each other."  
  
"Yeah, well sorry about that," Vaughn replied, a hint of defensiveness in his voice. "It's hard for me to think rationally when I'm around you sometimes."   
  
"Hey," she said in a soft voice as she looked directly into his eyes and smiled, trying to remove the sting of her previous words. "It's not any easier for me to control my feelings for you, and I'm not blaming you for anything that happened last night. I'm just -- I'm just freaking out, that's all," she nervously laughed. "I'll be damned if we've come this far and waited so long to be together to lose each other now."  
  
"That won't happen, Syd. I promise it won't. I won't let it," he whispered as he threaded his fingers through her hair and brought her lips down to his. In spite of herself, she quickly grew lost in the passion of his kiss, the soft but insistent pressure of his lips and tongue making her forget all her doubts and fears. Anxiety immediately gave way to need as desire welled inside of her, and she moved to lay back on the couch, pulling him along with her. He melted into her, his body sliding along the length of hers as he deepened the kiss and she hooked her leg around his calf.   
  
"If we do this for another twenty-four hours, I won't even remember to be scared," she breathlessly laughed.  
  
"Sounds like a plan," he smiled before kissing her again and slipping a hand underneath her shirt to caress the soft skin of her stomach. The room was soon filled with the sound of soft moans and heavy breathing as they continued to kiss and touch each other like a couple of hormonal teenagers. Sydney tugged Vaughn's t-shirt from his jeans and he sighed into her mouth when she slipped her hands underneath his shirt and lightly raked her fingernails down his back. She could feel the evidence of his escalating desire through his jeans, and she arched her back, grinding her hips into him, coaxing another low moan from him. She moved her hands back down and around to unbutton his jeans, but froze when she heard the sound of approaching footsteps in the hallway.  
  
"Don't mind me, kids, I'm just passing through," Elise said in a breezy, amused voice as she padded into the kitchen.  
  
"Mom," Vaughn sputtered as he disentangled himself from Sydney and quickly re-buttoned his jeans.  
  
"Forgot I was here, did you?" she asked over her shoulder.   
  
Vaughn good-naturedly rolled his eyes and offered a hand to help Sydney to her feet.  
  
"Busted," she whispered with a conspiratorial grin just before they followed Elise into the kitchen.  
  
"Of course I didn't forget you were here, mom. I just didn't think you'd be up so early," he explained before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Normally, I wouldn't be, but for some strange reason, I couldn't sleep last night, because I was I was too busy worrying about where my only child was and whether he was still alive," she sarcastically responded.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry," Vaughn guiltily replied. "I just went for a walk and unexpectedly ran into someone I knew.  
  
"I know you didn't mean to make me worry, sweetheart, and suddenly, your disappearing act is starting to make a bit more sense," she smirked as she peeked around Vaughn to see a smiling Sydney standing behind him. "Sydney, it's so wonderful to see you again," she beamed as she gently nudged Vaughn aside and engulfed Sydney in a warm hug.  
  
"You too, Elise. I've missed you."  
  
"I know. It's been what -- three months -- since we last saw each other? How are you?"  
  
"I'm okay, considering that the last two weeks have been hell. More importantly, how are *you* doing? I can't even imagine what this ordeal has been like for you."  
  
"Well, it hasn't been a walk in the park, but it hasn't been awful either. At the very least, it gave me some quality time alone with Michael. I'm just sorry that it had to come at the expense of your own time with him."  
  
"Oh, it's okay," Sydney shook her head. "We'll have plenty of that soon. I'm just glad he's been okay all this time."  
  
"Well, physically, yes, but emotionally, he's been a basket case, worrying about you day and night, not being able to do anything to make sure you were safe."  
  
"Mom," Vaughn groaned with embarrassment.  
  
"Well, it's true. You've been moping around the entire time we've been here. There's no reason Sydney shouldn't know that. He's missed you terribly, dear" she said, turning back to Sydney.  
  
"I missed him, too," Sydney admitted, wrapping her arms around Vaughn's waist and resting her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms back around her and kissed the tip of her nose, making Elise smile and roll her eyes.  
  
"You two are too adorable for words," she shook her head. "If I weren't so happy for you, I'd find you sickeningly sweet, and I'd -- oh my gosh! Where is my head? Sydney, I forgot to congratulate you on your engagement," she cried, sweeping her into another hug. It's the most wonderful news I've ever heard, and I can't believe I didn't mention it the second I saw you."  
  
"Thanks, Elise," Sydney beamed. She'd figured Elise would be happy about the news, but until that moment, there had been a tiny part of her concerned that Elise might not be terribly excited about the prospect of welcoming into her family the daughter of the woman who'd once ripped it apart. The genuinely thrilled look on Elise's face assuaged all her fears, however.   
  
"So, have the two of you set a date yet?"  
  
"No, not yet," Vaughn spoke up.  
  
"Well, I hope you won't wait *too* long. I never did see the point in long engagements."  
  
"Oh, we won't wait that long. I've really only been waiting until all of this SD-6 business was finished," Sydney frowned.  
  
Vaughn sensed the immediate change in her mood and shot her a quick, reassuring smile. "It'll be over tomorrow," he gently reminded her in a low voice only she could hear.  
  
"Not soon enough," she responded with a tight smile.  
  
"Anyway, don't worry, mom. When we finally decide to go through with it, we won't forget to invite you," Vaughn winked. "Now, why don't you go sit down with Sydney, and I'll bring your coffee when it's ready."  
  
"Thank you, sweetheart." She took Sydney's arm and led her out to the table in the small dining room where they sat across from each other. "So, have you made any plans at all?"  
  
"No," Sydney admitted with an embarrassed smile. "I've almost been too afraid to make plans. I was paranoid that if I started planning a wedding, something would happen to blow all the plans to hell. My friend Francie bought me a ton of bridal magazines, though, so when I get back to L.A., I think I'll finally start looking through them in earnest."  
  
"Well, if you need me, I'd love to help," Elise smiled. "It's times like this when I always wish I'd had a daughter."  
  
"Of course, I'd love your help," Sydney smiled. "You know, when I was younger, it always used to make me sad that my mother wouldn't be around to help me buy my prom dress or see me graduate from school or be there to help me get ready on my wedding day. And even though my mother's not really dead, I'm not sure I'd want her to help me plan my wedding even if she could," she pensively admitted.   
  
A brief glimmer of sadness and regret clouded Elise's eyes before it was replaced by her usual warmth and friendliness. "That's certainly understandable. I guess it's fitting, then, that I already think of you as the daughter I never had. So, whatever you need or want me to do, just let me know, and I'll be happy to do it."  
  
"You might come to regret saying that later," Sydney grinned.  
  
"Nonsense," Elise scoffed. "Believe me, nothing is going to make me happier than watching Michael get married, especially since I never thought I'd see the day when that would happen."  
  
"Never thought you'd see the day when what would happen?" Vaughn asked as he entered the room with three steaming mugs of coffee and set them onto the table before sitting down next to Sydney.  
  
"Never thought I'd see the day when you would learn to make a decent cafŽ au lait," Elise said brightly as she winked at Sydney and changed the subject. "So, what's the first thing you all are going to do when your current assignment is over?"   
  
"I'm taking Sydney on vacation, actually. God knows she's earned it."  
  
"Oh, how wonderful. Where are you going?"  
  
"To a resort in the Maldives."  
  
"As in the South Pacific? Wow. Why didn't you pick somewhere a little less remote?" Elise cracked, making both Vaughn and Sydney laugh in response. "Really, if you're going to the Maldives on vacation, where are you going for your honeymoon? How can you possibly top that?"  
  
"That's a good question," Vaughn frowned. "I booked the vacation long before I asked Sydney to marry me, so I wasn't thinking ahead at that point, and you're right. The Maldives is going to be hard to top."  
  
"No it won't," Sydney chided Vaughn. "It's going to be our *honeymoon*. We could stay in L.A. and it would still be wonderful. Actually, though, I think we're going to spend our honeymoon here in France."  
  
"Really?" Elise asked in delighted surprise.  
  
"Yes," Sydney nodded. "I was in Paris a few months ago when I realized that I've never actually *been* to Paris. Every time I've gone there, it's been for work, and it such a romantic city, and so historic . . . I just thought it would be nice to finally go and be able to enjoy it and do all the touristy things I've never gotten the chance to do, and I figured Michael would be the perfect tour guide."  
  
"He will be. I'm sure he's told you he used to work there for the first couple of years after he finished CST."  
  
"Yeah, I told her about that," Vaughn answered. "I also told her a long time ago that I'd take her to the vineyard, so we're going to do that too."  
  
"Jean and Sophie will love that," Elise smiled, thinking of her brother and his wife. "And you can finally see Christian and introduce Sydney to Nathalie and Marc. They're going to love you," she assured Sydney.   
  
"I can't wait to meet them, and I was kind of hoping they'd be able to come to the wedding, as well. Do you think they'd come all the way from France?"  
  
"For Michael's wedding? Of course. He's their favorite nephew, and they're always complaining that they never get to see him. It really has been too long."  
  
"Well, I'd love it if they would come. I can't wait to meet your family -- both sides of your family, actually."  
  
Vaughn reached for Sydney's hand and squeezed it. He knew how much Sydney was looking forward to being a part of a big, extended family, and he was glad he could give her that.  
  
"I already warned Sydney about how nutty the Delormes are," he teased his mother. "God help us if Aunt ReneŽ shows up."  
  
"Oh stop. ReneŽ is certainly no more eccentric than your Aunt Patricia."  
  
"Well, yeah, but at least the Vaughn eccentricity is limited to her. The crazy genes run throughout your side of the family."  
  
"And apparently, they don't skip generations," Elise shot back as she reached over to muss up his hair. "But don't worry, Sydney. Your children have a 75% chance of being perfectly normal."  
  
"Yeah, right. You met my father, didn't you?" Sydney grinned. "He's anything but normal, and my mother -- well, I wouldn't call her normal either."  
  
"Great," Vaughn laughed. "Our kids are screwed. We should just adopt."  
  
"The two of you will have perfectly normal, beautiful children," Elise firmly stated as she stood to take her empty mug back into the kitchen. "I'm going to go take a shower, but I'll be sure to announce myself in advance when I come back, so I won't . . . catch you two off guard again," she smirked.  
  
Sydney and Vaughn blushed at each other as Elise left the room and they listened to the sound of her soft footsteps retreating in the hallway.  
  
"That's the second time your mom has walked in on us in a compromising situation. She's gonna start to think all we ever do is make out with each other," Sydney cringed in embarrassment.  
  
"What's wrong with that?" Vaughn smiled.  
  
"Can you be serious about *anything*?"  
  
"When I need to be. So, seriously, what were you and my mom talking about when I walked into the room earlier?"  
  
"Just about the wedding. Actually, we were mostly discussing the fact that I haven't made any plans yet."  
  
"So what are you waiting for?" Vaughn asked, studying her closely.  
  
"I don't know. I guess I'm just waiting to feel like we're not in danger of having the rug pulled out from under us. I know you want me to be less pessimistic, but it's hard, considering how my last engagement turned out."  
  
"Syd, that's not going to happen again," he assured her in a low, calm voice.  
  
"Just keep reminding me of that, okay?" she smiled. "Sooner or later, I'll believe you."  
  
"Will you believe it once the Alliance is gone and Sloane is in custody?"  
  
"That would do it," she nodded.  
  
"Come here," Vaughn said as he suddenly stood up and held his hand out to her. She looked at him quizzically, but nevertheless stood and followed him over to the french doors that opened out onto the small balcony overlooking the quiet street below them.   
  
"Do you see that green statue off in the distance?" he asked as he stood behind her.   
  
"Yeah," she softly replied. "What is that?"  
  
"It's the archangel Saint Michel, and the building it's on top of is the Basilique de Fourvi 


	39. Meet and Greet

A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry about the looooong wait for the new chapter. I blame it all on life and work. :-) Thanks to everyone who's stuck with this and sent messages wondering when the update would be posted. Without further ado, here it is.  
  
Chapter 39 - "Meet and Greet"  
  
Sydney sighed in exhaustion as she sank into the chair at her desk in the ops center. The past two days had been such a blur that she felt as if she had barely had a single moment to catch her breath.  
  
It all started when Vaughn said the two words she'd been waiting forever to hear.  
  
*It's over.*  
  
She hardly believed him at first, and insisted on calling her father to confirm the news. Jack told her the details of the raid -- several times, actually, as she made him repeat the parts of the story she found the most interesting. Before hanging up with her, Jack told her he was proud of her and that he couldn't wait to see her when she returned to L.A.  
  
After hanging up with her father, Sydney and Vaughn shared their news with Elise, who, although thrilled, declined their invitation to join them for a celebratory dinner, opining that they should find the most romantic restaurant in town and celebrate their triumph alone with each other. Ever the dutiful and obedient son, Vaughn took his mother's advice and pulled some strings to secure a reservation at Alain Chapel. After a sumptuous dinner and two bottles of champagne, they decided to spend the night at the romantic chateaux housing the restaurant.  
  
They'd stayed up most of that night, reminiscing about the past two years, confiding in each other every time they'd wanted to give up, recalling the details of some of Sydney's more harrowing missions, and confessing all the times they'd wanted to express their feelings to each other but been too afraid and too bound by protocol to do so.  
  
When they made love that night, they both felt that something was noticeably different. Every other time they had made love, they did so with the unspoken knowledge that it could be their last time together, the constant undercurrent of danger always pervading their coupling. But that nights, it was as if the veil of fear and secrecy had been lifted, and finally, the were able to give themselves to one another openly, freely. It was an amazing feeling, and they took advantage of it to the fullest until they feel asleep in sated exhaustion.  
  
When they returned to Vaughn's apartment the next morning, they were surprised to find Elise's packed bags just inside the door. She smilingly informed them that she had decided to visit some friends in Paris before returning to Virginia, but reminded them that she'd see them again in L.A. in a couple of weeks.  
  
After she left, Vaughn renewed his offer to take Sydney on a tour of Lyon, but she expressed her desire to go home instead. As much as she wanted to forget the rest of the world existed for a while longer and stay in France, she was eager to see her father and assure herself that he was okay. And as much as she was dreading it, she knew she also needed to speak with Dixon and Marshall, to apologize to them for not telling them the truth about SD-6. Additionally, she and Vaughn both knew there would be a ton of paperwork to complete when they returned to work and they would be needed at the many debriefs that would take place over the next few days. So they booked the first flight back to L.A., and agreed to return to Lyon during their French honeymoon.  
  
On the flight home, Sydney marveled in the fact that she could actually sit next to Vaughn and hold his hand, laugh with him as they imagined how Weiss would make himself out to be the hero of the SD-6 raid, and kiss him as she did for hours once the cabin lights dimmed and everyone around them slept. They both knew they needed to sleep and try to fend off as much jet lag as possible, but finally having the freedom to behave like a normal couple, neither of them wanted to sacrifice that time together for the sake of sleep. So they stayed awake for the entire flight and were predictably exhausted when they arrived back in Los Angeles. They reluctantly forced themselves to part at the airport and, each went home to sleep for a few hours before going into work.   
  
Once she arrived at work, Sydney was immediately pulled into a four-hour long debrief needed to corroborate the statements of her colleagues who'd been detained since the raid. After that, she returned to face the mountain of paperwork waiting for her at her desk, but she found herself constantly interrupted by agents and other CIA employees stopping by to congratulate her on the success of the SD-6 operation. She was flattered by all the praise, but was disappointed that she could share it with the two people who also deserved the credit -- her father, who, as it turned out, was at Langley briefing the CIA's director, and Vaughn, who had been tied up with his own work for most of the day.  
  
Even though she hadn't gotten to spend any time with him, by far, the brightest spots of her day had been the brief moments when she spotted Vaughn across the rotunda from her and they shared small, intimate smiles with each other. It had been at least three hours since she last saw him, though, and she was growing impatient for the moment when they could finally ditch work and go home to spend a quiet evening alone together.   
  
She closed her tired eyes for a moment before tackling the next stack of papers in front of her, but opened them the moment she felt strong fingers softly brushing across her shoulder. She knew it was Vaughn even before she looked up, merely by the way her whole body tingled from his touch.   
  
"Hey, beautiful," he said in a low voice as he pulled over a chair and sat down next to her. Her pulse rate quickened the moment she saw him, and she fought the urge to kiss him right then and there in front of everyone.  
  
"Hi," she smiled. "I've missed you today."  
  
"Me too. It's been a long day, hasn't it?"  
  
"The longest, and it's not even over yet. Do I look as exhausted as I feel?"  
  
"A little," he acknowledged, his voice full of quiet concern as he brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, making her smile at the intimate gesture. "You should go home and rest, Syd. There's nothing in this pile of paperwork that can't wait until tomorrow."  
  
"Can you leave now?" she asked hopefully. "We could go get dinner or order in."  
  
"I can't. We have a videoconference with Langley in twenty minutes. It shouldn't last too long, but I'm still going to be here for a while." He smiled apologetically when he saw her exaggerated frown. "Why don't you go home, and I'll call you when I'm done."  
  
"Actually, instead of calling, why don't you come over to my place when you're done? That way, you could finally meet Francie, and I know she's dying to meet you. What?" she asked when he started to shake his head.  
  
"Nothing. It's just -- I can't believe I can actually go to your house and meet Francie without having to look over my shoulder."  
  
"Me either," she smiled as she gathered her belongings and stood, "but now you can. Just call me before you leave, and I'll order Chinese and we can all have dinner together. So, I'll see you later?"  
  
"Yeah." he nodded. "Let me walk you out to your car."  
  
"Oh, you don't have to -- " she began, but her voice trailed off when she saw the look of pure need in his eyes. "Actually, I'd be delighted if you walked me out to my car," she grinned.  
  
When they reached her car a few minutes later, Vaughn pulled her into his arms and kissed her hungrily, leaving her breathless when he pulled away from her.  
  
"I've been dying to do that all day long."  
  
"So why didn't you? I'm sure everyone back inside would have enjoyed the show," she teased.  
  
"That's exactly why," he laughed. His smile made her heart sing, and she pulled him back to her for another long, slow kiss, musing that whoever was monitoring the parking garage video feed was getting quite a show of his own right now.  
  
"Vaughn?" she murmured as she ran her fingers through his hair.  
  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"Do you really have to stay here?" she coaxed.  
  
"You're evil, do you know that?" he smiled when he pulled away from her. "Yes, I can't miss this this meeting, although you have no idea how much I want to."  
  
"Well, then I hope you won't spend too much time in your boring old meeting thinking about me at home relaxing in a nice, hot bath, wishing you were there with me," she tried to tempt him while running her index finger along his arm and forearm. "i'll be thinking about you, though."  
  
"Great. Thanks for that visual. I'm sure that'll make my meeting go much faster," he groaned.  
  
"Sorry, I'll make it up to you later," she promised. "Just don't keep me waiting too long."  
  
"I won't. Believe me." With that and one last kiss, he rushed back into the building, intent on making his meeting go as quickly as possible.  
  
*****  
  
". . . so I told Frankie there was no way I was paying for red tomatoes when I specifically ordered yellow ones, and he said he'd get me yellow ones that afternoon if I went out on a date with him. Is this what my life has come to? I have to whore myself out for yellow tomatoes?" Francie laughingly shook her head.   
  
"That was a joke," she smiled when Sydney didn't answer. After a moment of blank silence from her best friend, she waved her hands in front of Sydney's face. "Hellllooo, earth to Sydney. Are you hearing a word I'm saying right now?"  
  
"Huh?" Sydney asked as she snapped out of her momentary trance and saw Francie scrutinizing her from across the kitchen counter. "Sorry, I was distracted. You were saying something about the broccoli Frankie delivered?"  
  
"The broccoli was about three vegetables and two fruits ago. I'd already moved onto tomatoes."  
  
"Oh, sorry," Sydney smiled sheepishly. "I guess I zoned out for a little while there."  
  
"Is every thing okay?" Francie cautiously asked. "By now, I know better than to ask about the details of your trip, but you look exhausted, sweetie."  
  
"I am tired, but everything's okay," Sydney assured her. "Better than okay, actually. I did something a few days ago -- I kind of quit my job."  
  
"You quit your job?! Are you serious? I've been telling you for years now that you needed to stop letting that bank run you ragged. What made you finally decide to do it?"  
  
"It was long overdue," Sydney sighed, amazed at what an understatement that was. "And actually, I didn't really quit, per se."   
  
She saw the instant frown on Francie's face and tried to figure out how to tell her about the end of SD-6 without actually telling her about it. On the flight home from Lyon, she and Vaughn agreed that it would be best not to ever tell Francie about SD-6, and that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to tell her about the CIA either, at least not until Sydney decided if she was going to stay with the CIA and in what capacity. So now she had to find a way to let Francie know things had changed without telling her the true story why.  
  
"So you quit, but you didn't really quit?" Francie asked, the confusion evident in her voice.  
  
"Well, I didn't quit the bank altogether, I just moved to a different division, one that hopefully won't take over my life the way the last one did."  
  
"Does that mean no more trips?"  
  
"I wish," Sydney laughed. "No, there will still be trips, just probably not as many, at least for the time being."  
  
"So really nothing's changing at all," Francie laughed.  
  
"Well, no, that's not true," Sydney lightly protested.   
  
"Whatever, Syd," Francie sang before turning serious again. "So does this change things for you and Michael?"  
  
"Yeah," Sydney said, trying and failing to hide the big smile that overtook her face. "It means we don't have to hide our relationship anymore."   
  
"Really? That's great news, Sydney. So when do I get to meet him?"  
  
"Eager, are we?" Sydney laughed. "Actually, I invited him to drop by tonight when he's done with work, which should be soon. Is that okay?"  
  
"Yeah, of course it is. You guys aren't wasting any time, are you?" Francie grinned.  
  
"We've already spent so much time being together but not being able to *be* together, you know? So now that we *can* be together -- "  
  
"You're going to spend every minute with him you can," Francie nodded knowingly. "Hey, I don't blame you. I'd do the same thing if I had some hottie I'd been dating in secret for months. I cannot *wait* to meet this guy," she slyly laughed.  
  
"Fran, you're not going to give him hard time, are you? I'm begging you not to give him the fifth degree. My dad already put him through that, and it's a wonder he still wants to be with me after that."  
  
"Of course I won't," Francie innocently answered. "I'll save that for Will, 'cause I have a feeling he's definitely going to want to give Michael a hard time to make sure he's good enough for you."  
  
"I don't think he'll do that," Sydney quickly replied, wondering if she should tell Francie that Will and Vaughn already knew each other. She decided against it and prayed Will would be able to convincingly act like he'd never met Vaughn before for Francie's benefit.  
  
"Right. When he finds out that not only have you being seeing someone for months without either of us knowing it, but you're also *engaged* to this guy, I'm sure he'll accept Michael with open arms."  
  
"I don't think you're giving Will enough credit," Sydney protested. "He'll be fine with it. In fact, I think he'll -- "  
  
Sydney's voice was cut off by the sound of the doorbell, and she hopped down from her stool and rushed over to the door, breaking into a wide grin the moment she looked through the peephole. She opened the door just wide enough to slip through it, but not enough for Vaughn to see inside, and she closed it behind her as she stood on the front step with him.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hi," he smiled apprehensively. "Is everything okay?"  
  
"Yeah, everything's fine. I just wanted to remind you that you work for a bank, right?"  
  
"Syd," he smiled. "I'm a spy too. I think I can remember my cover story."  
  
"I know. I just wanted to make sure, because I haven't told Francie much of anything yet. Oh, and also, she doesn't know that you know Will, so if she brings him up, just play along, okay?"  
  
"I will," he nodded. "Anything else?"  
  
She shook her head no and began to turn the knob behind her until she stopped again and smiled up at him with twinkling eyes. "Actually, I forgot there's a nominal entrance fee to get inside my apartment."  
  
"Oh yeah?" he asked as he stepped closer to her and gently tugged on the hem of her shirt.  
  
"Yeah," she whispered before tilting her head to kiss him. She couldn't believe she was standing in front of her apartment kissing him when there had probably been surveillance cars parked on her block not more than 48 hours earlier.   
  
When she could feel both herself and Vaughn starting to get aroused and carried away, she pulled away from him with a small laugh. "We'd better go inside before Francie comes out here looking for us."  
  
"Right," Vaughn nodded in agreement before his face took on a sly expression. "So if that's the entrance fee to your apartment, what's the fee for entrance to your bedroom?"  
  
"You can't afford it," she tossed over her shoulder as she opened the door and ushered him inside, "but I'm willing to negotiate."  
  
"The negotiations could be half the fun," Vaughn laughed as Sydney took his hand and led him to the living room.  
  
"Hey Francie," she called, "there's someone I want you to meet."  
  
"Yeah? Who could it possibly be?" Francie teasingly asked as she walked from the kitchen into the living room and extended her hand to Vaughn. "You must be Michael," she smiled. "It's nice to finally meet you."  
  
"You too. I've heard so much about you."  
  
"Really? I haven't heard nearly enough about you, thanks to little Ms. Secretive, over here. I swear, she should work for the government instead of the bank, 'cause no one's getting any state secrets out of her," she chuckled.  
  
Vaughn glanced furtively at Sydney who just shook her head and smiled.   
  
"Please, sit down," Francie offered, as she sank into one of the chairs.   
  
Vaughn took a seat on the couch and Sydney curled up next to him, hooking her arm around his and resting her free hand on his knee.  
  
"So what is it that you do at the bank exactly?"  
  
"I'm in charge of special projects," Vaughn smoothly replied.  
  
"Special projects? What is that, exactly?"  
  
"Some of our institutional and wealthier individual clients have special needs and demands they ask us to meet from time to time. I'm in charge of making sure they get what they need."  
  
"Wow, that sounds important."  
  
"It's really not," Vaughn smiled. "It just sounds that way. Mostly, I just send our customer service representatives and executives all around the globe while I sit at my cushy desk here in L.A."  
  
"Oh, so *you're* the one responsible for sending Sydney on all those crazy trips? When did the two of you even find time to see each other with her out of the country so much?"  
  
"Um, you'd be surprised. And I actually hated sending her on all those trips, but she's the best at what she does, so I had no choice," he shrugged, before smiling at Sydney.   
  
"So, I hear you own a restaurant?"  
  
"Yeah, I do. You and Sydney will have to come in for dinner one night, my treat."  
  
"I'd love that."  
  
"Great, just let me know when you want to come, and I'll personally see to it that you guys are well taken care of."  
  
"Thanks, Francie. That's very sweet of you," Vaughn smiled.  
  
"It is," Sydney agreed. "You'll love the restaurant," she assured Vaughn. "Everything on the menu is so good."  
  
Francie shrugged modestly and smiled. "She's just saying that because she's my best friend. I mean, my restaurant is no Joey's Pizza or anything, but it'll do in a pinch." She smirked when both Sydney and Vaughn's eyes opened in shock and they began to blush.  
  
"So you're on to us," Vaughn smiled.  
  
"When Sydney told me about your engagement, she 'fessed up about all the mysterious pizza calls. I was just having a little bit of fun at your expense. Sorry."  
  
"No, it's okay," Vaughn said with a good-natured grin. "If anyone should apologize, it's me. I can't imagine how annoying those phone calls must have been."  
  
"I told you the number of times she wanted to get our number changed," Sydney grinned. "And she's making nice right now, but she's called you every name in the book."  
  
"But, in my defense, I didn't know who you were at the time," Francie protested. "If I had, I never would have insulted you and your mother that way," she sheepishly admitted, making all three of them laugh.  
  
"No harm, no foul," Vaughn smiled. "And now that Joey's is officially out of business, I promise, no more annoying phone calls."  
  
"And no more colorful adjectives and names," Francie nodded. "So where did you grow up, Michael?"  
  
"Northern Virginia. Great Falls, to be exact, but my mom is from France, so I spent a lot of summers there, as well. What about you?"  
  
"San Diego. My parents still live there, actually, and I -- "  
  
"Hey, I'm gonna go get wine," Sydney said, as she stood to make her way to the kitchen. Now that Vaughn's "job" and the Joey's pizza calls were out of the way, she deemed it safe to leave the two of them alone, and they looked like they were already getting along famously.  
  
"Need help?" Vaughn glanced up at her.  
  
"No, you and Francie get to know each other better," she said as she bent down and kissed him on his forehead. "I'll be right back."  
  
She smiled as she left the room, happy that the two previously separate parts of her life were finally coming together. As she headed towards the kitchen, she ran smack into Will, who had just entered the apartment.  
  
"Will! Hi," she exclaimed as she gave him a big hug.  
  
"Hey. Whose car is that in the driveway?"  
  
"Vaughn's," she smiled. Seeing his look of confusion, she took his arm and he followed her into the kitchen.   
  
"Is it safe for him to be here?" Will asked in a loud whisper once they were in the kitchen.  
  
"It is now. SD-6 is gone, Will." She watched his face carefully as he processed the news.  
  
"Are you serious? Since when?"  
  
"Two days ago. The CIA and some of our counterparts in other countries raided each of the Alliance's offices. It's going to be a while before all the dust has settled, but SD-6 and the Alliance are finished."   
  
"And Sloane?"  
  
"In CIA custody here in Los Angeles. My dad was the one who got to arrest him."  
  
"Wow. I'll bet he's been waiting a lifetime for that."  
  
"The last 8 years, anyway," she smiled.  
  
"I'm so happy for you, Syd," Will smiled, as he wrapped her in a tight hug. "I can't imagine what the last two years have been like for you, but I'm glad you finally get to move on with your life."  
  
"Me too," she murmured.  
  
"And it sounds like you didn't waste any time," he chuckled, when the sound of Vaughn and Francie's laughter wafted into the kitchen.   
  
"Francie's been dying to meet him, and Vaughn's heard so much about her, that it seemed like the obvious thing to do, introducing them as soon as I got the chance. They're getting along really well."  
  
"I'm not surprised. They're both great and they both love you a lot. That automatically gives them something in common. So, how did Francie react when you told her the truth about SD-6?"  
  
"I didn't tell her, and I'm not sure if I will," she admitted. "I need to decide what I'm doing, first, whether I'm going to stay with the agency, because if I do, it may not be safe to tell her the truth. Which means," she took a deep breath, "that you're still going to have to keep my secret, and I hate putting you in that position. I know how much you hate to lie to her."  
  
"It's okay," Will reassured her. "I understand, and I won't say anything."  
  
"Thanks," Sydney murmured with a grateful smile. "That also means you're going to have to pretend you don't know Vaughn. And for the record, he works at the bank with me, and you don't know we're engaged."  
  
"Right, gotcha," Will nodded, before the realization of her words hit him. "Wait, you're engaged? To Vaughn?" he asked, a dumbstruck expression on his face.  
  
"Oh my god," Sydney covered her mouth in shock, when she realized how she broke the news to him. "I forgot that I hadn't told you yet. We were keeping it a secret until all this SD-6 business was done, but I *had* to tell Francie, and I forgot that I hadn't told you yet.   
  
"I'm sorry, Will. I didn't mean to break it to you like that," she shook her head. "But yes, Vaughn asked me to marry him and I said yes."  
  
"Wow." Will didn't know what else to say as the words sank in.  
  
"Yeah, I'm -- this is the second time I've dropped this kind of bomb on you, isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah," Will chuckled. "The difference is that I was just pretending to be happy for you the first time. This time, I actually *am* happy for you. Congratulations, Syd," he hugged her again.  
  
"Thanks, Will. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but we really were trying to keep it a secret. Other than Francie, everyone else who knows found out by accident."  
  
"It's okay, really. So have you set a date?"  
  
"No," Sydney scoffed. "I haven't even let myself think about it, really, because there's been so much going on. But when we do set a date, I promise I will actually tell you about it," she sheepishly smiled.  
  
"I'm holding you to that," he laughed.  
  
"Okay. Wow, I'd better get back out there before they start to wonder what happened to me." She picked up the wine glasses and Will grabbed the bottle and followed her back into the living room.  
  
"Hey guys, look who I found on the way to the kitchen."  
  
"Will," Francie smiled.  
  
"Hey Fran." He looked questioningly at Vaughn until Sydney piped up.   
  
"Will Tippin, this is Michael Vaughn. Michael, this is Will, my other best friend."  
  
"Nice to meet you, Will," Vaughn smiled as he shook Will's hand.  
  
"You too. Syd's told me a little bit about you. It's nice to finally put a face with a name."  
  
"You too."  
  
Noticing the slight look of worry on Francie's face, Sydney decided to change the subject.   
  
"So, did Francie tell you every embarrassing story about me since freshman year of college?" she asked Vaughn as she handed him a glass of wine.  
  
"Please, we're not even past the first week of college yet," Francie laughed as she relaxed again and took her own glass of wine from Sydney. "Believe me, I have enough embarrassing stories to keep Michael occupied for a very long time."  
  
"Great," Sydney rolled her eyes.   
  
She remained mostly quiet for the next half hour as Francie and Will peppered Vaughn with more questions and stories and he got to know them better as well. She was perfectly content to sit back and listen as they chatted, and Vaughn intertwined his fingers with hers and lightly stroked his thumb across her palm. His attention was focused on her friends and she didn't think he was even conscious of what he was doing, but she was definitely conscious of it as her spine tingled and her heart began to beat faster. As happy as she was that everyone was getting along so well, she realized how much she desperately wanted to be alone with him.  
  
Will was finishing the story of how he first met Francie and Sydney when she discretely leaned closer to Vaughn.  
  
"The window for those negotiations is officially open," she whispered into his ear. She smiled and nodded in response to his questioning look, and as soon as Will finished his story, she sprang to her feet.  
  
"Well, I hate to break up the party, but there's something I need Vaughn to help me with in my room, so . . ."   
  
"Hmph, I'll bet," Will smirked.  
  
"Will!" Francie scolded as she swatted him on the arm. "Why do you always have to make something perfectly innocent sound so dirty?"  
  
"What? I was just saying that -- "  
  
"Yeah, but that was so totally inappropriate that I can't even believe you'd -- "  
  
"If we sneak out now, they'll never even notice we're gone," Sydney laughed as she pulled Vaughn down the hall and into her bedroom.  
  
"So this is your bedroom," Vaughn grinned as he appraisingly looked around the room, taking in every detail. "Now I know what it feels like to go to Mecca."  
  
Sydney laughingly rolled her eyes. "Please. It's just a bedroom, Vaughn."  
  
"Yeah, the bedroom where you sleep in god-knows-what every night, while I'm miles away thinking about you," he replied as he sat on the edge of her bed.   
  
"Not anymore, not necessarily. You're welcome here any time you want, but if it's alright with you, I was hoping we could spend the night at your place tonight."  
  
"Of course."  
  
"I had a feeling you wouldn't put up much of a fight," she teased.  
  
"I'm powerless to deny you anything," he grinned. "So, what can I do to help you and get you back to my place faster?"  
  
"Impatient, are we?" she asked with an arched eyebrow as she opened her closet.  
  
"You have no idea, Syd. No idea," he answered as he came and stood behind her. "I don't know what's worse -- seeing you all day long and not being able to touch you, or not seeing you at all and not being able to touch you."   
  
As she moved her hands over the row of suits in her closet, he stopped her when she came to one in particular.   
  
"Bring that one. I love how you look in that one. I love how you look in everything, but especially that suit."  
  
"Really? You never told me that."  
  
"That's because you haven't worn it in a while."  
  
"Then how do you remember it?"  
  
"Because it's the suit you wore the day after we got back from Lake Tahoe, when we were alone together in the warehouse," he murmured as he wrapped his arms around her. "Remember that?"  
  
"Yeah, it is," she realized as she fingered the sleeve. "I can't believe *you* remember that."  
  
"I remember everything since the moment you stepped onto that elevator. I was never happier to see anyone in my entire life."  
  
"Me either," she smiled as she remembered running into him by pure luck. "Would you have ever thought back then that eight months later, the Alliance would be gone and we'd be figuring out whose place to spend the night at first?"  
  
"Nope, but I can't say I'm at all disappointed about the way things turned out."  
  
"Me either. In some ways, it seems like just yesterday that we were there, but in other ways, it feels like a lifetime ago. In a weird way, I don't think the Alliance would have fallen nearly as soon as it did if we hadn't run into each other that weekend. That kind of changed everything."  
  
"Yeah, it did," he agreed, thinking about what she said. It occurred to that something else -- *someone* else -- was also responsible for getting them to this point sooner than anticipated, and tomorrow, he would have to swallow his pride and give credit where credit was due.  
  
TBC . . . 


	40. The Art of the Deal

Hi everyone! Yes, there's a new chapter. There's also an NC-17 version that can be found in the S/V fic thread at SD-1.net   
  
Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 40 - "The Art of the Deal"  
  
Sydney squinted as she read the numbers on the clock radio amidst the glare of the early morning sunlight streaming in through the blinds in Vaughn's room. She couldn't believe she was awake at 6:30, especially since she and Vaughn hadn't fallen asleep until well after 1 a.m. When she heard light scratching on his bedroom door, she turned her head to see if Vaughn was still sleeping, smiling at the contented expression on his face. She quickly decided not to wake him, and instead got out of bed, rummaging through her overnight bag until she found a pair of sweats.  
  
She dressed quickly and slipped out into the hallway, petting Donovan while she urged him to be quiet and let Vaughn sleep. She couldn't help but laugh, though, as Donovan excitedly danced around her ankles when she got his leash and prepared to walk him. She walked him along the route Vaughn once told her he usually took, and she was amazed by how many joggers and walkers recognized Donovan and stopped to pet him and fuss over him along the way. Once again, the little dog made her laugh at the way he seemed to bask in all the attention.  
  
"You're so vain, Donnie," she shook her head.  
  
They finished up their walk, and once they returned to the condo, Donovan immediately took off running towards the kitchen. When she followed him, she found Vaughn in his pajama bottoms, sleepily rubbing his eyes as he turned on the coffeemaker.  
  
"Hey," he smiled when he saw her. "You didn't have to take him out, I would have done it."  
  
"I know, but you were sleeping so peacefully that I didn't want to wake you," she said as she kissed him lightly. "Besides, Donovan and I had a great time. He's quite the dog around town, huh?"  
  
"Yeah, everyone in the neighborhood knows him, and he totally eats up the attention," Vaughn laughed. "I can't even imagine how much he enjoyed all the extra attention of being with a beautiful woman."  
  
"Right, because I'm soooo sexy in my sweats and ponytail," she rolled her eyes. "Please, no one even noticed me. They were too busy cooing over Donovan, although Stacey and . . . Rachel -- is it? -- noticed me long enough to stop and ask where *you* were."  
  
Vaughn shook his head and smiled. "They're just, uh, two of the friendlier women in the neighborhood."   
  
"Funny, they weren't that friendly to me."  
  
"Well, I'm sure they'll become more friendly once they start seeing you out more often."  
  
"We'll see, but somehow, I doubt it," she replied, sounding unconvinced while Vaughn stretched and yawned next to her. "Tired?" she smirked.  
  
"Yeah, I can't imagine why," he wryly answered pulling her into his arms, "but for the record, you can 'negotiate' with me any time you want to."  
  
"I'll file that away for future reference, but that wasn't a negotiation last night. That was merely an exchange of first offers. We haven't even *begun* to negotiate yet."  
  
"Really?" he laughed. "Why not? Wasn't my first offer good enough for you?"  
  
"It was great, but that was just a jumping off point so I could see how, um, *flexible* you were willing to be."  
  
"I thought I was pretty damned flexible last night."  
  
"You were," she smiled, "but you can do better."  
  
"You think so. Did I ever tell you that I do my best negotiating in the shower?" he asked as he pulled her sweatshirt over her head and tossed it onto the counter.  
  
"No, you never told me that," she playfully responded.  
  
"Why don't we go step into my office and I'll show you?"  
  
"Deal," she agreed with a quick kiss on his lips. "I'll go start the water while you feed Donovan. And don't take forever, 'cause the clock is ticking."  
  
"Like you won't wait," he scoffed as she left the room.  
  
Sydney walked into the bathroom and turned the water on as hot as she could stand it, making the room quickly fill with steam as she stripped off her sweat pants and tank top and tossed them into the hamper in the corner. She climbed into the shower, smiling to herself as she realized how much of a thrill it gave her to do something as trivial and mundane as mixing her clothes in the laundry hamper with Vaughn's. It was such an insignificant thing, but after such unconventional start to their relationship, they found that the smallest hints of normalcy were what excited them the most these days. They had both grinned like idiots the night before when she placed her toothbrush in the toothbrush holder next to Vaughn's and he cleared out a whole side of his dresser for her things.  
  
She wasn't sure how long the excitement of domestic tranquility would last, but she intended to enjoy it for as long as she could.  
  
*****  
  
"Okay, I'm ready," Sydney breathlessly exhaled as she breezed into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. "Sorry it took so long. Your hair dryer sucks."  
  
"I've never had any problem with it."  
  
"And your hair is what? An inch long? Of course you haven't had problems. I'm buying you a new one."  
  
Vaughn smirked as he leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms. "Are you going to replace my razor with a Lady Schick and redo the bathroom in pink and purple too?"  
  
"Shut up, Vaughn," she laughed, playfully punching him in the stomach.  
  
"Fine, just admit that my hair dryer wasn't the reason it took you so long to get ready."  
  
"I'll do no such thing."  
  
"You hate it when I'm right, don't you? It's okay, you were worth the wait."  
  
"See, now you're just making me blush," she smiled. "But thank you, I'm glad you like the outfit."  
  
"You look great, but something's missing."  
  
"What?" she asked, self-consciously peeking inside her suit jacket to make sure she remembered to put her bra on.  
  
"Not that," he laughed, leaning in to steal his own peek.  
  
"Then what is it?"  
  
Vaughn reached inside his pocket and pulled out her engagement ring. "This."  
  
"How did you -- where did you get this?"  
  
"I snagged it while I was snooping around in your bedroom last night."  
  
"Oh. I had it in safe keeping since I couldn't -- "  
  
"You don't have to explain," he assured her as he took her left hand and slipped the ring onto her ring finger. "But this time, it doesn't come off, right?"  
  
"Not a chance," she softly answered, as she looked down at her finger and the symbol of the new life they were about to embark on. "It feels so good to wear this again, but you realize the cat's gonna be out of the bag the minute we step into the ops center. Are you ready for that?"  
  
"Definitely," he nodded. "I don't care who knows how much I love you."  
  
"Even my dad?" she questioned as she wrapped her arms around his waist.  
  
"Your dad already knows."  
  
"Yeah, but hearing you tell him we're engaged and seeing the ring on my finger and being forced to accept it are two different things," she laughed. "I'm not sure he's ready for that."  
  
"That's his problem," Vaughn murmured, while kissing her neck.  
  
"No, it's gonna be *your* problem. I'm just saying, don't be surprised if you find transfer orders on your desk this afternoon assigning you to a post in Iceland."  
  
"Syd," he said with mock hurt, "I think you underestimate how much your dad likes me now."  
  
She pulled her head back and looked at him skeptically.   
  
"Likes you?"  
  
"*Tolerates* me."  
  
"That's closer to the truth," she laughed as he made a face. "Aw, I'm kidding. I definitely think he likes you, and even if he doesn't, he won't be able to ignore how happy I am."  
  
"Are you? I mean, I know you are about us, but we haven't really talked about anything else now that SD-6 is gone."  
  
"What's to talk about?" she scrunched up her nose. "That nightmare is finally over. Why wouldn't I be happy about that?"  
  
"I don't know," he shrugged. "You've spent every day of the last two years, trying to put an end to SD-6 . . . it would be only natural if it felt a little anticlimactic now that a few days have passed."  
  
"Wow," she breathed, disentangling herself from his embrace and turning her back to him as she nervously fiddled with her abandoned cup of coffee. "You're incredibly perceptive. *Too* perceptive, sometimes. Have I ever told you that?"  
  
"Syd, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put a damper on your mood."  
  
"You didn't, but you're right," she admitted, turning back to face him. "Knowing that I didn't have to wake up this morning and go to that building was great, and being able to spend the night here and have a normal morning and not be lying to anyone is the best feeling, but there's a part of me that feels . . . I don't even know how to describe it. I just feel kind of aimless and directionless, and I keep asking myself, 'what now'?  
  
"I always thought that when SD-6 was gone, I would instantly know what I wanted to do with my life, and now I don't," she sighed.   
  
"How long have you been feeling that way?" he asked with concern.  
  
"Since we got back home yesterday morning. How did you pick up on it?"  
  
"You seemed kind of quiet last night."  
  
She raised an eyebrow and shot him a disbelieving look.  
  
"Not then. *After* that," he smiled.  
  
"I was gonna say," she laughed, before sighing again.   
  
"Last night, I was laying there with you, thinking about how perfect everything was, but something still seemed wrong. And I knew it wasn't us, so I figured it had to do with the rest of my life."  
  
"Syd, you know you don't have to have this all figured out right now," he soothed, taking her back into his arms. "You have all the time in the world to make decisions about the future."  
  
"I know. I just always thought the decision would be obvious. From the day I started at SD-6, I thought that after a few years, I'd get over the adrenaline rush, and then settle down and be a teacher and a wife and a mother. And now I'm not sure that's what I want anymore -- the the teacher thing, I mean," she stammered.  
  
"I know, Syd," he smiled.  
  
"Two years ago, everything seemed so clear, and now, I can't imagine not working next to you and my dad every day. But after struggling so hard to get away from this life, it seems crazy that now I'm not sure I want to leave it. I don't know what to make of that."  
  
"Then don't make anything of it, at least now," he suggested. "Listen, the change in your life is still really new and fresh, and it's going to take a while for you to settle into some sense of normalcy. So, for the time being, why don't you just shelve it? At least until we come back from vacation."  
  
"Our vacation! I almost forgot about that," she grinned. "Wow, so all that time I would've spent worrying about my future? I'm going to spend imagining you in a Speedo instead."  
  
"Yeah, you *will* be imagining it, because I would never be caught dead in a Speedo," he scoffed as he let her go and grabbed his jacket and keys from the kitchen table.  
  
"Why not?" she teased, gathering her own belongings and following him to the front door. "You'd look good in a Speedo."  
  
He shook his head as he held the door open for her. "Not gonna happen, Syd."  
  
"That's what you say now, but I guess we'll have to negotiate it later, won't we?" she asked with a sultry kiss before sauntering out the door.  
  
"That's what we do best," he grinned.  
  
***** "Sydney."  
  
She turned as soon as she heard the voice behind her and launched herself into Jack's arms.  
  
"Dad," she breathed as she hugged him tightly. She was unbelievably relieved to see him again and know he was safe after his encounter with Sloane. After a few moments, she pulled back and held him at arms length, visually inspecting him. "Are you okay? Sloane didn't -- "  
  
"No. Sloane didn't do anything to me," he assured her. "I'm fine, Sydney."  
  
"Thank God. I rushed back to L.A. to make sure you were alright, only to learn you were at Langley."  
  
"Yes. I wanted to be here when you returned, but the Director requested an in-person briefing about the status of the raid."  
  
"Kendall told me," she nodded. I'm just glad you're back."  
  
"I'm more glad that *you're* back, sweetheart. I didn't want to let on at the time and worry you, but I was really concerned about you, Vaughn and Elise. I had agents keeping an eye on you, but I knew what Sloane and the Alliance were capable of if they found out where you were."  
  
"You had agents watching us? I should have known."  
  
"I only did it for your safety -- "  
  
"Dad, I know," she smiled. "You don't have to explain. And I'm okay. So is Vaughn, so is Elise. We're all great, thanks to you."  
  
"And this chapter of our lives is finally over, thanks to *you.*"  
  
"No, it wasn't just me," she shook her head.  
  
"Sydney, I worked inside SD-6 for years before you learned the truth about the master you were serving. You did more damage in 2 years than I did in 12."  
  
"But you were working alone then. If I'd been working alone, it would have taken me at least that long. Whatever success I had was only because I had you and Vaughn backing me up."  
  
"You don't give yourself enough credit, Sydney. You're too modest for your own good," Jack smiled. "Speaking of Vaughn, where is he? I wanted to offer him my congratulations too."  
  
"He's around here, but I'm not sure exactly where. I'm sure he'll appreciate that."  
  
"I had my doubts about him when the two of you began working together, but I don't anymore, and he deserves praise for the role he played in the demise of SD-6. Now that it no longer exists, I assume the two of you are . . . taking advantage of your new-found freedom?"  
  
"Wow, you almost said that without wincing, dad," she teased.  
  
"Have the two of you discussed how you intend to go about making your colleagues aware of your relationship?"  
  
"Well, we're not going to rent out a billboard or anything. I think we're assuming that people will find out eventually. The rumor mill around here is pretty active, and it's not like we were fooling anyone anyway. You and I both know there's not a single person here who didn't suspect we were involved the entire time we were working together."  
  
"And they were right," he gently reminded her.  
  
"But not until a few months ago. There have been whispers since the week after we met, but whatever," she shrugged before crossing her arms. "It's not like it matters now, because technically, Vaughn's not my handler anymore, he's just my colleague, right?"  
  
"Colleague and fiancŽ," Jack corrected, as he noticed the ring on her left hand and lowered his voice. "Do you think it's wise to be wearing that so soon?"  
  
She glanced at her hand and sighed. "I know what your concerns are dad, and I'm not saying they aren't valid, but Vaughn and I have been keeping this a secret for two months. We're both tired of hiding it, and there's no reason we should anymore. Our personal relationship isn't going to affect our professional relationship."  
  
"That's untrue, and you know it, Sydney. Your personal relationship, even when it was purely platonic, has affected your professional partnership since the two of you began working together. I believe Vaughn's concern about that was precisely what compelled him to go to Langley, was it not?"  
  
"That was only because he was concerned about compromising the SD-6 operation," she protested. "Obviously, that's not a concern anymore."  
  
"The *SD-6* operation may no longer be a concern, Sydney, but there will be other missions, and once the bond between you and Vaughn has been further cemented, it's going to be even more difficult for the two of you to separate your personal and professional relationships."  
  
"Dad -- "  
  
"Even if *you* don't think it's going to be a problem, Sydney, your colleagues may perceive it that way. You need to be aware of that, that's all I'm trying to say." He gave her a slight smile to assure her that he wasn't purposely trying to give her a hard time.  
  
"I'll keep what you said in mind," she said, returning his smile.  
  
"That's all I'm asking."  
  
"Can we change the subject now?"  
  
"Gladly. What's wrong? You look troubled."  
  
"Have you spoken with either Dixon or Marshall since the raid? I wanted to see them this afternoon once their debriefs are concluded, but I'm not sure how much they know about my role in all of this, and to tell the truth, I'm a little afraid of their reactions. Not Marshall's so much, but I can't imagine any way that Dixon *won't* feel like I've betrayed him, and I don't know if I can handle that."  
  
"From what I know, Dixon and Marshall have both been told that there were CIA agents working inside SD-6, but that they're not privy to the identity of those agents, for the time being. So, whether you choose to make yourself known to them is your choice, Sydney."  
  
"But it's not really a choice," she frowned. "It's not like I can keep this a secret forever. Once they're released from CIA custody, the truth is going to be obvious, and I think I owe it to them to be honest -- finally."  
  
"Sydney, you don't owe anything to anyone. Not anymore. You've sacrificed enough."  
  
"Dad," she shook her head, "Dixon and Marshall are my friends. I *do* owe them an explanation."  
  
"I'm just concerned that if they react poorly to the news, you're going to blame yourself and internalize your guilt the way you do far too easily. I don't want to see you go through that. You were doing your job, Sydney, your duty as an agent of the United States. If Dixon and Marshall can't or don't understand that, it's not your fault."  
  
"I know that," she quietly responded.  
  
"Intellectually, you know that. Emotionally, I can already tell that you're struggling with it."  
  
Sydney was about to answer him when she caught sight of Vaughn as he walked into the rotunda. She smiled as he walked up to her and her father.  
  
"Hey. You okay?" he softly asked when he saw her anxious expression.  
  
"I'm fine," she nodded.  
  
"Vaughn," Jack interjected, "I know we spoke briefly during last night's videoconference, but I wanted to offer my congratulations in person. You should be proud of the work you did preparing for the raid. Our execution was sound, but the plan was flawless. I was impressed."  
  
He offered his hand, and Sydney bit her lip to fight her smile as Vaughn shook it. She wondered how long it would be before they were watching football games and going on camping trips together.  
  
"Thanks, Jack. That means a lot coming from you."  
  
"Well, I hate to cut this short, but I have matters to attend to with Kendall. I was thinking, though, that we could all have dinner together sometime. Perhaps when your mother comes?" he asked, pretending not to notice the looks of mild surprise that passed between Sydney and Vaughn.  
  
"Um, yeah, I'm sure she'd love that," Vaughn answered.  
  
"Good. Then I'll call you to make arrangements when you return from your trip. Sydney, I'm glad you're back home. You too, Vaughn," he nodded before turning and leaving the two younger agents staring after him.  
  
"Who was that?"  
  
"The new, kinder, gentler Jack Bristow?" Sydney offered.   
  
"I think the kinder, gentler Jack Bristow scares me more than the intimidating, scowling Jack Bristow I'm used to," Vaughn smiled before growing serious. "So is everything okay? The two of you seemed like you were pretty deep in conversation when I walked up on you."  
  
"My dad just gave me a lot to think about, but everything's fine." She waiver her hand dismissively, eager to change the subject so she wouldn't have to discuss her lingering concerns about Dixon and Marshall. "Hey, do you want to get lunch?"  
  
"I'd love to," he replied, looking at his watch, "but, I can't. I have an appointment in a few minutes."  
  
"What kind of appointment?" she asked with a quizzical smile.  
  
"Nothing important. Just work stuff. I'd offer to meet you somewhere, but I'm not sure how long this will take."  
  
"It's fine, Vaughn. Maybe I'll ask Agent Miles to go to lunch, kind of as a 'thank you' for being such a good replacement handler while you were at Langley."  
  
"I'm sure she'd like that."  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure she would. And maybe at lunch, she can help me figure out why you're being so secretive."  
  
"I'm not being secretive," he protested, though his body language said the opposite. "I'm just -- listen, I'll tell you all about it later, but if I don't hurry," he checked his watch again, "I'm going to be late. I'll see you later, okay?"  
  
"Um, yeah. See you later," she said, more to herself than Vaughn when he rushed off without her, leaving her to wonder why he was being so evasive and what was going on.  
  
TBC . . . 


End file.
